The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Supreme Court Adopts Its First Ethics Code | Steve Kornacki
Episode Date: November 15, 2023Leslie Jones discusses SCOTUS's new ethics code, Senator Markwayne Mullin tries to throw down in a Senate hearing, and Dulcé Sloan weighs in on NYC parents filing a petition against non-binary perfor...mers in the Macy's Thanksgiving's Day parade. Troy Iwata steps out of his comfort zone and into the cuddle zone to see what this practice is really about. And NBC News & MSNBC national political correspondent, Steve Kornacki, chats with his biggest fan, Leslie Jones, about how he keeps all the facts straight on his ‘Big Board’, what he knows about all 3,143 counties in the U.S., and how he foresees the 2024 election based on current polling. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news.
My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're going to be talking about the election,
economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
You're listening that invented news.
This is the Daily Show. I'm your host Leslie Jones and I'm back for day two.
Yes!
That's right.
You can't get rid of me no matter how many of those healthy snacks you put in my dressing room.
That's right. You can't get rid of me no matter how many of those healthy snacks you put in
my dressing room.
And tonight is going to be the best show ever because I'm going to be interviewing Steve
Kornakie.
I'm like, I love him.
Okay, do you think he'll like my I love him.
Okay, do you think he'll like my dress?
Okay, okay, do I need to put on glasses so I can seem smart?
Like, you know, I want to be smart.
Okay, okay, how many states are there?
Because he's gonna ask me, how many states there?
Steve Karnak is going to ask me how many?
How many are there?
Somebody tell me. 50? 51? Okay.
Okay.
Okay, you know what?
Deep breath.
Deep breath, okay?
We're all going to be calm.
Deep breath.
Now let's get these headlines.
Yeah.
Let's kick things off with the Supreme Court.
Mmm.
Oh, they make rules for everyone else to live by what we're allowed to say,
what we can do with our bodies, how gay our cakes can be.
But it turns out that they've had no rules for themselves until now.
Let's turn now to an historic move by the Supreme Court.
The nine justices adopting a formal code of conduct for
the first time in the court's history. This morning a formal code of conduct
now in place after a steady drip of stories on some of the justices undisclosed
trips, private jet rides and other perks. This 14-page document signed by all nine
justices now laying out how they should avoid the appearance of impropriety, when to recuse from a case and reaffirming the the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the existing the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of coes of of coautory. ofing ofing of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, the theirc, the the the the theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, theirc, the cut.ss.s.s.sii.cou.col.col.coocei.coocei.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo.coo. te. the appearance of impropriety, win to recuse from a case, and reaffirming the existing rules around
gifts. Public pressure to do something has been mounting in recent months after
reporting about Justice Clarence Thomas in particular and years worth of
unreported luxury vacations paid for by a top conservative mega donor. Something Thomas said
he believed he didn't need to report at the time.
Are you kidding me?
You're going to pretend that you didn't know the stuff you did was wrong until now?
Having good judgment is the entire point of being a judge.
Okay?
Okay?
You're supposed to weigh everything and make a
smart decision. That's why there's a bitch with a scale outside your office.
Just ask her. But now they finally have some ethics rules, which is so embarrassing.
The Supreme Court went thousands of years without needing
an ethics code until these corrupt bastards came along.
It's like how tide pods had to add do not eat label after all them Tick-Tucker started dying.
You know what? Here's what
really pisses me off though. The ethics code isn't even enforceable. So it's not
going to be, it's not going to work, okay? If you want to hold people accountable,
you got to be able to fire them. Okay?
Okay? Like, I used to work at UPS. and I did a good job because I could get fire.
But if I couldn't get fire, do you know how many things I would have did to them packages?
Do you know how many of my ex-boyfriends would have got a horse's head?
Let's move on to the Congress? On a normal day, Congress is the place where
America's representatives gathered together for a respectful debate about the issues.
But today, one senator wanted all the smoke. And the intense level of frustration
being seen in the Senate, check out this nasty exchange involving Oklahoma Republican,
Mark Wayne Mullen,
Teamsters leader Sean O'Brien, and then Bernie Sanders, trying to play peacemaker.
You tweeted at me one, two, three, four, five times.
And let me read what the last one said, quit the Tough Guy Act and the Senate hearings.
You know where to find me,
any place, any time, cowboy. Sorry, this is a time, this is a place. You want to run your mouth.
We can be too consenting adults, we can finish it here. Okay, that's fine. Perfect. You want
to do it now? I'd love to do it right now? Well, stand your butt up. You stand your buttop. Oh, hold on. Stop it. Is that your solutionary poll?
No, no, sit down.
Sit down.
You know, you're a United States senator.
Active.
Back off, Bernie!
Shut up!
They was about to fight.
I want to see that.
But you know what?
I knew this dude was trouble from the moment I heard his name Mark Wayne.
All one word. His parents didn't even love him enough to pick one single name for him.
They just shoved two names together and called it a day.
Calm down, Mark Wayne isn't some shit I want to hear on C-SPAN.
It's what you hear when you watch an episode of
cops. But more importantly, is that what America has come to? People fighting in
the Senate? Because if it is I won't end. I won't end. Lindsay Graham, I want you in the rank.
Ted Cruz, bring your weird-ass beard so I can beat your ass.
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch.
Mitch, Mitch.
Oh, somebody already hit him.
Oh, somebody already hit him.
All right. Finally, it's almost Thanksgiving.
That time of the year, you've got to listen to all your worst relatives complaining about things
that they just don't understand.
And this year, the complaining started early.
Macy's has been drawn into the culture wars, facing backlash this morning over its annual Thanksgiving Day parade.
Nearly 20,000 people have signed a petition blasting the upcoming event as a quote non-binary
and transgender extravaganza.
They're upset that two non-binary Broadway stars are scheduled to perform including Alex
Newell who just won a Tony award.
The group behind the petition claims Macy's does not have the best interest of children in mind.
What?
Wait a minute, sorry.
Did I miss something?
Did we solve world hunger?
Is war over?
Is the homeless crisis done?
Because a stranger's genitals in a parade is literally the last thing
someone should be worrying about right now. When it comes to parades, the only thing you're allowed to complain about is the traffic.
Y'all do so much complaining, that's why your turkey tastes like burnt asshole.
Because you focus in on the wrong thing, put the internet down and pick up a turkey-baseder.
Who's even watching the parade nowadays?
Did you not finish all of Netflix?
To be honest, for a long time, I didn't think that the Macy's Day parade was even a real thing.
I thought it was just a make-a-wish thing for our Roker.
For more on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, let's go live to Macy's and Harro Square
with Dulce-Slong.
Dulce!
Hello, McNeil, Hux.
What? What do you make about the people complaining about this parade? What do you make about the people complaining about this parade? I thus? I thought. I that, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I that, I th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, that, that, I that, I that, I thin, I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the people complaining about this parade?
What do you make about the people complaining about this parade?
I think they need to figure out what they want.
I mean, they're so obsessed with gender roles and who's got what genitals, then do we want to make the balloons anatomically correct?
Do they need to see Clifford's big red dong coming down the street?
And what about SpongeBob? What's in them square pants?
And can we talk about the fact that he's a kitchen sponge in the sea?
See, that's always bothered me. You know what, we need to get that figured out before we talk about his dick?
Listen. Parades are gay. All right, to their court.
Listen, you got colorful costumes, choreography, ponies, and Charlie Brown serving face.
And everyone is happy. Only gay people can do that, all right?
All parades are gay prior parades.
Well, you know not every parade is gay.
What about the Klan march?
Still pretty gay, Miss Leslie? Think about it, that marching is choreography, those robes, it's a costume, and once again,
ponies.
Now, they're not serving face, because, you know, but, you know, not everyone can.
I mean, thank you.
Okay, okay, do thanks. Okay, okay, do thanks. I mean, thank you.
Okay. Okay, dulet. Let me ask you something.
What type of parade would make you happy?
Ooh, I thought you never asked. Okay. All right. Picture this.
Morris Chestnut, right?
Leading a troop of Morris Chestnuts.
Dancing under a balloon of Morris Chestnut, and
rounding up the back as an oiled up Morris Chestnut, roasting over an open dual set.
Whoa!
How can we make that happy, girl?
I started to go from me, come on!
Give the one for the doorc give it up a good place, though!
And when we come back, we'll find out the newest way to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
We hear a lot about how people are so lonely these days, but some of them have found a solution.
Troy Iwada went to find out more.
Human Touch. Is it a good thing? Some people crave it.
Weird. And now it's easier than ever for them to get it.
One of those booming businesses, professional cuddling.
Oh. them to get it. One of those booming businesses, professional cuddling. Christy is actually a professional cuddler and Josh is her client. A lot of
times people are just looking for someone to just spend some time with.
As one who goes through life avoiding human contact, I wasn't thrilled about
meeting someone who made a living from touching other people.
I have to admit it does sound a bit scammy.
Seems like you're just ripping off people who've heard of a body pillow. It is not just about
the physical act of cuddling. The body pillow cannot talk to you, right? I
would see the fact that my pillows can't talk back to me as an asset. I totally
understand that. But we have a code of conduct. We talk a lot about consent. And how does one become to becomeelist? Do you need a degree, like a physical therapist,
or is it like a fake certification,
like a sandwich artist?
It is fine to be skeptical,
but when you have nurturing touch that is very much wanted,
your level of oxytocin increases in your body.
You are flooded with this wonderful, feel-good love hormones.
So touch deprivation is linked to to a to a. So toucest deprivation is
linked to a lot of things. It can be linked to impulsiveness, anxiety, stress,
and low job performance. Troy. That's amazing. That's fascinating.
What? It seems like you might be a good candidate for professional cuddling.
I'm fine.
How do you deal with stress and anxiety?
I deal with your anxiety.
Okay, well my self-therapy is free and only requires a nearby abandoned warehouse.
I think they're probably healthier ways you can deal with your anxiety.
Okay, well my self-therapy is free and only requires a nearby abandoned warehouse.
Whereas these cuddle sessions could cost anywhere from 80 to 150 dollars. Who would pay for that? I've been a cuddle client for about two years
now. What type of responses do you get when you tell people that you're a
cuddle client? Why would you do that? Is it safe? Is there sex involved? I thought that.
Yeah. I've gotten desperate? Are you horny? Are you single? If so.
None of the above. So you are in a relationship? I am. So what was your partner's reaction?
My partner said, is there something that's lacking here? And the answer was absolutely not? It was more about self-care?
Now what are the benefits, you know, other than getting rid of all that extra money in your bank account? I just feel more personal? I, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are th th th th th th th th th, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are th, are th, are th, are th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, are you thi, are you thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thicare. Now what are the benefits, you know,
other than getting rid of all that extra money in your bank account?
I just feel more personally resourced, cared for.
Why cuddling when there are so many other obvious ways
to deal with your emotions?
Like what?
Why don't you come observe a session? Okay.
Hmm.
How long does this normally?
Hmm.
Hmm.
How long does this normally? This is going to go for about an hour, quietly, silently.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I push the tonsi.
I mean, quiet.
I'm not even here.
I'm not even here. Hi. It's me again.
So just to confirm, there's nothing sexual like happening here.
Would you like to just sit down and ask some question?
Absolutely, I would really enjoy that.
Oh, okay. Thank you so much for that.
This is up and close, VIP, in the splash zone.
Could you explain how you can participate in something so intimate without wanting to take it a step further?
The most important thing is that if at any point she is uncomfortable, that she will let me know.
If I'm uncomfortable, I will let her know.
So how do we break down the stigma and negative connotations for all those closed-minded oafes?
I think we normalize it by talking about it.
And just letting people know that there's something that they may not have considered.
You could try a cuddle session.
Okay. Well, just... just, mm-hmm.
No, none.
Right, this is my session.
Okay.
She book a session.
Correctly.
Okay.
I needed a moment before I willingly spooned a stranger.
I do see there are benefits, and I have been stressed.
We've got climate change, race relations, people drinking orange juice with pulp.
Just eat an orange.
But it doesn't mean I have intimacy issues.
Okay, maybe there is some stuff I need to work on.
Bernadette does seem at peace.
And what's the worst that could happen?
I get a well-needed nap.
Hey, who's the fucking you?
Get out of my house!
It was cuddle time.
This is amazing. It was cuddle time.
This is amazing.
Is it gonna cost extra if I open up the floodgates a little bit?
Not at all.
Dad!
Why?
Why did you let me quit piano lessons? piano lesson. The Cuddlest were right.
I felt transformed and my hormones were flying high.
I was a new man ready to on the show, so don't go away!
Hey, everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings
calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on
sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on
Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
My guest tonight is an author and a national political show.
My guest tonight is an author and a national political correspondent for NBC News and MSNBC, and I'm totally obsessed
with him.
He has gotten me through every election.
He is the king of the khakis.
And he has an apartment in my heart.
I have never met him in person into this moment, so I am so excited to welcome and finally
see live and in person right here for real.
Steve Kornakai! Great to meet you. Oh my! Okay, so, hi. Okay, so, hi.
It's great.
It's great to me too.
You see.
Oh my God, it's so crazy that we've never met before, you know?
So I'm pretty sure you know that I'm trying to tell you.
Oh my god, it's so crazy that we've never met before, you know?
So I'm pretty sure you know that I'm totally obsessed.
I've seen some clips.
Would you like to see the big clip that they made of our love?
Take a look.
Let's take a look.
Steve Kanaki is the sexiest nerds on TV. When he would grab that thing and be like, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I was like, I was thin, thin, thi, I was, tho, I was, tho, I was, I tho, I tho, I I I I I I tho, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I, I I, I, I, I, I tho, I tho, I was, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th sexiest nerd on TV.
When he would grab that thing and be like, no,
and then Mark on the boy, I was like, oh God,
just keep solving the problems Mr. Kanake.
God damn it, that is just sexy to me.
What, is that a seven? Is that a seven?
When you put that calculator, I was like, what?
You're gonna tel me the exact answer? Your Gatness and your Gap shirt and your regular
tie dude and your two-tone belt,
you belong to us!
Oh, oh!
Oh, my God.
I am so embarrassed embarrassed but not really.
So, when you're standing at that big book,
and you got that damn calculator,
how do you keep all your facts straight?
Well, fortunately, I mean, we've got great technology now.
It's amazing, you know, I've been, as you say, an election nerd for a lot of my life.
And what was possible on an election night, say, 25 years ago, is a fraction of what's
possible now.
So there's so much information loaded into that board.
There's so much we can do with it, any given county, any given state, any given
district, demographic information.
So we're able to show what's happening in real time with a depth and I think a sophistication, hopefully, it just
wasn't possible before.
That was such a sophisticated answer.
So let me ask you a question, do you know every single county in US?
I have at some point encountered all of them in getting ready for elections.
There are 3,143.
I will admit this.
I'll go through a state for an election and when it is time to go for that state, I'll
know them all, but I will not retain a lot of them afterwards.
So it's, it's, I don't believe you.
The big swing states in presidentiales. I'm much much much much thane thane thane th. I th. I th. I are are th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. Do. th. Do. Do. Do. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the it's it's the big swing states in presidentials I'm much stronger on then the states that aren't necessarily competitive.
Okay I have so many important questions to ask you I really do. Okay so Biden is losing to Trump. Should we be
freaked out right now? I mean so there's New York York Times polls that came out last week, the six states we think
will decide the election in 2024, and yeah, they had Trump ahead in five of those six states.
They're all states that Trump had lost in 2020. So the thing that's interesting to me is, if you look back at the 2020 election, from this point, fall of 2019 on to Election Day, there....... There, the th. There, th. There, th. That th. That th. It, th. It was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. So thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And the 2020 election from this point, fall of 2019, on to election day,
there was literally not a single poll that ever had Trump ahead of Biden nationally.
We've now had multiple polls that show Trump ahead of Biden.
So there is a different atmosphere around this looming and we'll see what happens in the primaries
but this is looking likely to be the matchup again and Trump is showing a strength or
Biden is showing a weakness that wasn't there the last time in the run up to
the election so I think I take it I would take it very seriously yeah well
okay I can't Steve why is true still able to run to run am I confused what what am I confused what he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the to be to to the tr is tru is tru is tru is tru is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is true is is is is true is is is is is is is true is is is is true is is is is is is is is is is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tr is is is is is is is is is is tr is tr is tr is tru is true is to true is true is. true is. true is. true is. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true.icted everywhere. How is he still able to run for
president? Well, you know, look, it's a two-term limit, not a one-term limit, so he can, you
know, he served one term. We haven't had a president in modern times, lose re-election, and then
four years later say, hey, I'm running again. You know, it's been a while since you've had a president try to do this, but you can
and you bring up all the legal issues around Trump.
Those are, hasn't been convicted of anything and, you know, it's obviously going to be a major
factor, I think, just looming over the campaign, but from an eligibility standpoint, you know,
it looks like there's no issue. That makes no sense. Okay, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thin, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thi, th's, you know, there's no issue. That makes no sense. Okay, okay, so it's a real chance that Trump becomes the Republican nominee.
I mean, certainly, again, we're talking polls right now.
He is at a level of dominance over that Republican field that we haven't seen from a
candidate in a Republican contest in 24 years.
The last one was George W. Bush won the nomination in 2000.
He had leads the size that Trump has right now. This is the first time since Bush. We've
seen a Republican consistently polling this well in the Republican primaries. Now Bush did
get a scare in 2000. John McCain won some states, put a scare into him.
Maybe a DeSantis, maybe a Haley. It's looking like if there's going to be a threat to him it's one of those two. You know, but... Well, okay, so I want to ask
you to explain the electoral college because I feel like that's something I can
understand from you. Okay. I don't want to sound stupid in front of you, my love, but... I didn't know what the electoral college was. I just thought it was where politicians went to college to learn about politics.
So what is it?
I mean, it's a bit of a throwback to the earliest days of the country.
But how it functions now is essentially the candidate who wins the vote in a state wins
the number of electoral votes that that state has.
It gets very complicated.
OK, see, I feel like there's math.
Matt, OK, but I did something kind of goofy.
OK, so, OK.
OK.
OK.
Hey, I just, you know, I just, I got you a little present.
Yes.
Yes. It's a calculator. I put your name on the back. It's pretty long. Okay. Thank you.
So we can figure those things out now. Look for this next election. Yes.
Oh my God. If you use my calculator, I'm going to lose it.
Okay, let me ask you one more important question. I mean, now I heard that you didn't know who Taylor Swift was, which I don't care.
But do you know who Beyonce is?
Yes.
Okay, good.
Ooh, I was gonna have to divorce you see.
You are awesome.
Be sure to watch Steve Karnacky do his thing on NBC and MSNBC.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show,
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This has been a Comedy Central podcast.
Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday.
So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday.
We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are
they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient
to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second.
I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
I mean, talk about innovative.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.