The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Gender Reveal Blast, Top-Rated "Paddington 2" & Menthol Cigarette Ban

Episode Date: May 1, 2021

A gender reveal party in New Hampshire leads to a huge explosion, "Paddington 2" becomes the highest-rated film on Rotten Tomatoes, and the FDA announces an effort to ban menthol cigarettes. Learn mo...re about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. The Oscars, the biggest night of the year for Hollywood and for people who manufacture
Starting point is 00:00:45 red carpets. Now, despite the pandemic shaking everything up, the Oscars pulled off a lot of cool moments last night. I mean, we got to see an award show in a train station, right? We saw Regina King get her steps in, and we even got to see Glenn Close audition to be in Cardi B's next video. But we also got a lot of history made last night. Chloe Zao became the first woman of color to win best director.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Yu Junyun was the first Korean actor to win an award and Daniel Kuluya. My friend became the first person to get an Oscar and a beat down from his mama on the same night. And the Oscar goes to. Daniel Kaluya, Judith from the Blackmun. We enjoy ourselves tonight because we got to celebrate. We're to celebrate life, man. We're breathing, we're walking. It's incredible. Like, it's incredible.
Starting point is 00:01:39 My mom, my dad, they had sex. It's amazing. Like, you know so I'm so happy to be alive so I'm gonna celebrate that tonight Did this guy just say sex in front of his African mother? Yo let me tell you something forget saying my parents had sex just to say sex in front of African parents will be instantly rewarded by an ass-whopping of monumental proportions people. You can't be
Starting point is 00:02:11 saying sex in front of African parents! In fact, I'm sure the only reason she didn't whip Daniels right there was just because there were too many white people in attendance. She was probably sitting there like, hey when we get home Daniel hmmmm I'm telling you guys now man that's the only reason the only reason attendance. She was probably sitting there like, hey when we get home, Daniel, hmm, mm-mm. I'm telling you guys now, man, that's the only reason black parents won't beat you in public. My mom would look around and she'd be like, two, three, four, five, six, she's like, just one too many for you. In fact, that's the only reason I'm staying in America, people. Yeah. All the white people here, th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu th th thi thu that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the the the the the the the the the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the the thi thi thi th me because she sent me to the shop to buy bread, but instead I bought a lollipop. Mommy, please!
Starting point is 00:02:48 But actually, you know guys, if you ask me, I think this is the future of award shows. Right? Forget agents and managers in the crowd. Buhh! I want to see Brad Pitt's dad holding up his embarrassing baby photos in the bathtub. I want to see Emma Stone's mom lick her thumb and then wipe off her little girl's cheek while she's on stage. I want to see the rock's mom heckling him from the crowd like, he looks tough now, but he wet the bed until he was 19. But let's turn now from movies's one that ended with a bang. A large explosion in New Hampshire that shook multiple towns
Starting point is 00:03:29 is being blamed on a gender reveal party. The sound of the blast was captured on a doorbell camera. Some residents thought it was an earthquake. One even reported damage to her home, but police say it was 80 pounds of explosives detonated on Tuesday. Police say the man set them off in a quarry because he thought it would be safe. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. Officials are still trying to figure out
Starting point is 00:03:53 what charges the man might face. All right, listen, people. If you find out that you're having a baby, and your first response is to set off 80 pounds of explosives, you probably shouldn't be having a baby. Plus, do these parents ever think about how high you are setting the expectations for your child? When you set off 80 pounds of explosives to announce their arrival? I mean, guys, even Jesus didn't get an explosion.
Starting point is 00:04:20 He's just got some weird dudes delivering spices. But now these days parents are like, frankincense might be good enough for the son of God, but my Braden deserves the best. But I will say this, man, I don't judge anybody who has a gender reveal party, especially when it goes wrong. There's so many things that can go wrong at a gender reveal. In fact, I had a gender reveal, and, phew, man, it happened to me. Good morning, everybody, and welcome to my gender reveal party.
Starting point is 00:04:51 All right, here we go. Ew, gross. Yeah, apparently you're only supposed to do it for a child. But no one tells me this. I don't know where the rules are. All right, and finally, you might remember from your history textbooks that there was an attempt to overthrow the U.S. government back in the year, January. And the latest arrest in the capital insurrection comes from a poor guy just trying to make a love connection.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Authorities say they have the dating app Bumble to thank for the arrest of a man accused in the siege at the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. Robert Chapman allegedly told a woman that he met on Bumble that he stormed the Capitol and made it all the way to Sanctuary Hall. The woman replied, we are not a match. And then she notified the FBI. Chapman is charged with trespassing and thaaaaaauality to be the craziest thing I have ever heard. Someone actually told the truth on a dating app? That's wild!
Starting point is 00:05:51 I actually wonder how that guy brought it up, you know, the fact that he stormed the capital? Like, how do you, how do you work that into your game? You know, does he come right out with it, or does he wait until she opens the door. Hey, don't I recognize you from somewhere? Yeah, girl, you might have seen me on TV hitting a cop with a flagpole. You know, freedom. But yeah, ma'am, props to this woman, she wasn't messing around.
Starting point is 00:06:14 She turned that dude into the FBI, which is a hell of a swipe left. And it shows that clearly this woman has not been single that long. Because I mean let's be honest people, after a few years of trying to date online, you know, stuff like overthrowing the government, that stops being a deal breaker for some people. Well, I mean, he stormed the Capitol, but he's really sweet and he bought me flowers, so we're gonna go to Chili's this Friday night for a date. Yeah, they said they're fully booked, thullii get us in one way or another. If you watch CNN, well first of all, congratulations on being basic.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And second, you may have seen a political pundit named Rick Santorum, former Republican senator and what you get if you sucked the handsome out of Mitt Romney. He's known for his reliably conservative opinions on the big issues of the day. But now, one of his lesser-known opinions about American history has slipped out. Rick Santorum, since losing his Pennsylvania Senate seat to Bob Casey years ago, Santorum has found one-off cable stardom. He wasn't particularly well known for his views on Native Americans until today. When this surfaced, a portion of his remarks to the Young America's Foundation.
Starting point is 00:07:29 We came here and created a blank slate. We birthed a nation from nothing. I mean, yes, we have Native Americans, but candidly, that there isn't much Native American culture in American culture. It was born of the people who came here pursuing religious liberty to practice their faith. Yeah, guys, I hate to admit it, but Rick Santorum is right. From Tallahassee to the Mojave deserts, from Chappaqua to Chattanooga, there's no trace of Native American culture anywhere in America. I mean, if anything, Native Americans should be grateful. Because before Santorum's forefathers got here, what did they have? They had nothing. They didn't have smallpox, they didn't have obesity, they didn't have unemployment,
Starting point is 00:08:20 they didn't have drug addiction. Basically, life sucked. This argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument is argument argument argument is argument is sucked. This argument is so offensive that even the Cleveland Indians logo stopped smiling. How can you say this? Oh no, there was nothing before we got. You know who Santorum is like? He's like that guy that shows up to a party late, going, oh yeah, let's get this party started.
Starting point is 00:08:37 No, my man. The party was going on for a few thousand years long before you got here with your whack-ass moves. Oh, and just by the way, there probably would be more Native American culture if the colonizers hadn't taken their sacred ground to build a few pizza huts. Census. It's how the US government says, everyone in the country, make some noise. Every 10 years, the census determines how many people are in the country, and then how many congressional seats each state gets, and of course, which city gets a real housewives. And now, the 2020 numbers are officially out.
Starting point is 00:09:16 The U.S. Census reports over the last decade, the population grew at the slowest rate since the 1930s. This was driven by a leveling off of immigration and a declining birth rate in the country. Because of population shifts, Texas will pick up two seats in Congress. Florida, North Carolina, Montana, Colorado and Oregon will each get one more. And for the first time, California is losing one seat as our Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and New York, which, get this, was just 89 people short of keeping all of its seats. Eh!
Starting point is 00:09:51 This is unbelievable. You're telling me if just 89 more New Yorkers had filled out their census, the state. The state wouldn't have lost a house seat? 89. I mean, that's basically nothing. You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of? It reminds me of, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, was, th, was, was, was, was, th, was, was, thi, was, theeeeei, was, thei, was, was, thei, was, thei, was, thei, was, the, the, the, seat? 89. I mean, that's basically nothing. You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of that kid at the carnival, who realizes that if only they'd worn two pairs of socks, he would have been tall enough to get on the ride. But he didn't.
Starting point is 00:10:18 So then he gets mad. He cuts the power to thethe Ferris wheel, but that backfires because his crush is up there and she gets scared and that just drives her into Timothy's arms. Whatever, I'm taller than him now. So look, this is really unfortunate for New York State because it means that one of its congressional districts disappears. And that means whoever represented that district in Congress becomes a Ronin. Forced to travel the countryside, looking for a new district to represent. Weathe touchy Nomura Geronadler!
Starting point is 00:10:52 Now, aside from New York getting screwed, the big news out of the census is that America's population grew at the slowest rate since the 1930s. Basically, immigration is down and the birth rate is falling, primarily due to this photo. And I don't know exactly what that says, but I do know that the 1930s sucked for America. I mean, there was the Great Depression, the dust bowl, everything was black and white, and if you wanted somewhere to sit, you needed to climb a half-built skyscraper. Yeah, that was a shitty time to be alive. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
Starting point is 00:11:29 This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's incredible. I'm Seth Done of of of of of of to the the the thine of thine of thine of thine of thine of thine of thine of thine of thii-s thi-s thi-s thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. th-s. thi-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. th. th. th. thi-s. That's th. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. That's thi-s. thea-s. theananananananananananit-s. theananananananit-s. theanananananit-s. theanananananananed-s. th stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting September 17th.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Movies. They're what the Rock does while waiting to become president. And now, there's a new contender for best movie ever. For decades, the movie critics have declared Citizen Kane the greatest film of all time, but it is no longer the top rated film on Rotten Tomatoes, thanks to a newly unearthed Chicago Tribune review from 80 years ago. The critics said that it fails to impress with cane sledding away from the top spot. That title now goes to Paddington 2. That's right.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Paddington 2 is now officially the greatest movie of all time. In many ways, it's the Citizen Kane of movies. And look, if you ask me, I don't agree with this whole thing. I don't think you can rank movies based on averaging critical reviews into percentages, you know. I mean, these are works of art. They should be judged on more important factors like how much money they made. Personally, I think that when you're evaluating films you need to look at how it stands up to the test of time. You know, Citizen Kane is 80 years old. Will we still be talking about Paddington to 80 years from now?
Starting point is 00:13:02 Probably not. We'll be too busy fighting over the last fresh water spring on the barren wasteland that will be planet Earth. Now that's a mock against Paddington. Hey, don't get me wrong. Paddington is a phenomenal movie. I just don't think it's the greatest movie of all time. I'm not just saying that because I'm bitter over the fact that they cut they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that I'm that I'm that I'm because I'm bitter over the fact that they cut out my cameo. Why yes, I will give you a marmalade sandwich, Paddington, but first, you've got to suck my dick.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't have improvised that line. I don't know. But let's move on now to some crime news. Today the FBI rated the home and office of Trump. their the thiiwi the FBI the FBI the FBI the FBI the FBI the fjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj. Trump lawyer and decaying Stewie Griffin, Rudy Giuliani, where they reportedly confiscated laptops, cell phones, and a bunch of jars labeled definitely not blood. Now, we don't know exactly what Rudy Giuliani is being investigated for. I mean, take your pick, really.
Starting point is 00:13:55 But if this next story tells us anything, he'd better hope the feds didn't find any overdue blockbuster rentals. A Texas woman has a felony charge on her record for not returning a VHS tape back in 1999. Karen McBride only learned about the charge after trying to change her last name following her marriage. The VHS tape in question, Sabrina the teenage witch. Well, she was charged in March of 2000 for felony embezzlement, while the movie retail location later went out of business in 2008.
Starting point is 00:14:28 The charges have since been dropped after McBride's story aired on local TV. She actually believes her roommate at the time rented it under her name because she never even watched the show. Wow. America loves arresting people. I mean, this woman got charged with a felony for a late videotape return. That's ridiculous. You know who the real criminal is here? The person who invented the system, where we were allowed to rent four videos and watch them in a day.
Starting point is 00:14:59 You knew full well I couldn't watch those four videos when I took them. But still, you let me take them because you wanted to charge me a late fee. And now look, I have a criminal record. I associate with other criminals, all because I return the nutty professor four hours late. Still worth it though. You know he played everyone? Even the kid. Oh, and by the way, for our younger viewers, VHS tape is, it's sort of like Netflix, except it only held one show that you wanted
Starting point is 00:15:28 to watch, instead of 800 shows that you'll never watch. Now, thankfully, they let this woman off the hook. But I do love how even after the charges were dropped, she still threw her roommate under the bus. Yay, I'm free! But you guys need to arrest Deborah, because this was all her fault. And finally, dating, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, Yay, I'm free! But you guys need to arrest Deborah because this was all her fault. And finally, dating. It's how you find the person who's going to fart under your covers for the rest of your life. If you like romantic stories about new relationships, well then you'll love this one 35 times more.
Starting point is 00:16:00 From Japan, this man allegedly dated 35 women and told them all he had a different birthday so he could constantly receive gifts from them. He was able to get nearly a thousand dollars worth of presents from the women before they all banded together to report him to police. He has since been arrested for fraud. Huh. Dating 35 women in Japan is illegal. Weird. In America they in Japan is illegal. Weird. In America, they just give you a TV show. And honestly, people, I don't know if getting extra presents
Starting point is 00:16:31 is worth the stress of juggling 35 girlfriends. I mean, imagine having to pretend that you hadn't already watched all of Ted Lasso 34 times. So he doesn't know soccer? Oh, not to mention, he has to be getting gifts for them, too, right? I mean, at some point, he's just getting a present from one woman and then handing it right off to the next one. It's basically just an assembly line of re-gifting. Cigarettes. They're the things that Matt Gates has to buy for his girlfriends. It has been more than a decadeate thaa thatatatatatatatatatat th. They th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th, th, th, thi. They's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, that, thi, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that, a decade since the US banned cigarettes with flavors that help make them more appealing, especially to kids. But the most popular flavor got a special exemption, and that may be about to change.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Today might mark the beginning of the end of menthol cigarettes in this country, because just in the last couple of minutes, the FDA is announcing it's working on a proposal to ban them within the next year, along along along along along along along along along along along along along along, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, their, their, to, to, and to, and to, and their, and to, their, their, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, the,a.e.e.e.e.e. the, the, the,a.e. their, their, their, their, their, their, their proposal to ban them within the next year, along with all flavored cigars. They've been disproportionately harmful for members of the black community for decades. Menthal cigarettes have been marketed aggressively to black Americans. More than 85% of black smokers use menthol cigarettes. The FDA's expected plan to ban menthol and cigarettes would be a victory for advocates, who note the tobacco industry has targeted the black community with menthols for decades. It's making menthols cheaper in black communities, more
Starting point is 00:17:49 price discounts in black communities, strategic partnerships with black le-led organizations, the cool jazz festival, really a variety of ways to really focus on transforming menthol into a black cigarette. That's right. America is about to ban menthol cigarettes. And honestly, I'm all for it. Partly, because tobacco companies have an ugly history of targeting menthols to black communities, but also, just speaking for myself, I hate smelling that shit.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Whenever I hang around someone who smokes menthols, it smells like they were just fighting a fire fire fire fireos factory. Pick a smell, man! But whether you fought this thing or against it, you gotta admit it's gonna send ripples through the black community in America. And so to get some perspective on that ripple, we're joined by my good man, Roy Wood Jr. What's going on, Roy? What's up, man? What do you think about this menthols, man? It's amazing, right? No, I tell you what I think.
Starting point is 00:18:47 I think Joe Biden crazy. Comell better talk to his ass. Look, Trevor, you can't do this to black people. It's going to be another insurrection. Menthal's smoke is going to storm their breath, they're gonna be wheezing everywhere, but still, man, damn. Say right. What do you mean it ain't right? What, like, I don't get this, Roy. What is it about menthols that brings out so much passion? Because, Trevor, menthols is the seasoning.
Starting point is 00:19:13 You can't have black people smoking unseasened cigarettes. H' hell's the only reasonthing. She switched brands, ash fall in, now we all tasting ash. Also, this other thing, you African, they gotta set y'all straight. See, menthols ain't just about flavor. They were a sign of wisdom. How am I supposed to know if a man can fix a car if he ain't got a menthol hanging out of his mouth? Yeah, I mean, look, I get that it's gonna be gonna be a cha that it's gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna that it's gonna that it's gonna be a change that it's gonna be a change that it's gonna be a change that's gonna be a change that's gonna be a change that's gonna be a change that's gonna be a change that's gonna be a day, smoking menthols is unhealthy. Okay, but why is it that black people don't get their unhealthy thing?
Starting point is 00:19:48 Why not ban them stupid-ass clove cigarettes, white men be smoking that smell like feet? What about them long-ass, Cruella, devils shit? I don't see them banning that? What about chewing tobacco? This was crazy. I can, I can find all this in my mouth. This is legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal legal this is legal legal this is legal legal this is legal this is legal this is legal this is legal this is legal this is all this in my mouth. Out only in my mouth. This is legal, but menthols ain't? This is race civil. Whoa, Roy, I don't know about that, man. I mean, this ban has a lot of support in the black community. They were pushing it.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah, well, the black community is full of haters. And by the way, if the government wanted to banment menthaws to breathing, you know what will help us with that is banning knees to the neck. Too bad knees ain't menthol, maybe then we get some legislation. Man, I ain't got time to talk to your ass, dude. I got to call these stores get these menthols while they're still in stocked. Fin' a thorough. now. That's crazy. I'm not going out and smoking the cigarettes, dog. I'm gonna go and stock up on menthols. You know how badly my uncle's gonna be fiending for menthols once they're off the market? This is about to be the new Bitcoin. And I'm gone. Let me get this bread. Uncle Derek. Rooy. Roy, can you get me some? I don't want to miss the next Bitcoin. Roy. No, you're a hater. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. 't deal with haters. Good day.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Uncle Derek, what's up? Before we go, please consider supporting an organization called One Tree Planted. They're a non-profit charity focused on global reforestation. Just last year, they planted over 10 million trees worldwide to create a healthier climate and protect biodiversity around the globe. If you want to help them restore forests, create jobs and build communities, then please go to the link below and donate whatever you can. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11th, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17, wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

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