The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories | Giuliani's Thirsty Calls to Legislators
Episode Date: June 25, 2022The January 6th hearings expose Giuliani’s thirsty calls to state legislators, the Senate reaches its first bipartisan gun bill in three decades, and Chicago PD bans foot chases. Here’s what happe...ned this week.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central Central. Tick-Tock. The world's biggest social media sites and the app that proves Americans can read subtitles
just fine when they want to.
Yeah.
Hundreds of millions of people around the world use Tick-Tock every day.
Because I mean, what else are you going to do while you're pooping, right?
But what many Tick-Toc users might not realize is TickToc is owned by a Chinese company and
Now we're finding out that while you're watching videos of people dancing
China might be watching you.
Leaked audio from social media company tick tc.
Tick tok's internal meetings suggest that Beijing has repeatedly accessed data from
users here in the US. The recording suggests that Tick talk is falling to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the toc. the toc. the toc. tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, thea, thea, tc, tc, is tc, is tc, is tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc, tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. from users here in the US. The recording suggests that TikTok is falling down on its promise to wall off Americans
data from its Chinese parent company, with one of the apps researchers telling colleagues,
quote, I get my instructions from the main office in Beijing.
Oh no! China's secretly watching all of us on TikTok. Now they're going to know,
our money doesn't jiggle, jiggle.
It folds.
But yeah, based on these audio leaks,
it looks like Tick Tock's parent company in China
actually does have access to our private data,
which means the Chinese government probably has access to our private data,
which is scary, because Tick Dock knows everything about you. Yeah, it tracks what you watch, what you like,
and then it only shows you that stuff.
Like if you asked me to see my 4-U page, I'll be like,
whoa, whoa, whoa, that's too personal.
Yeah, just look at my nudes instead.
Actually, that's a mini-cok.
And that's why, if you remember, Donald Trump was trying to ban TickToc a couple of years ago, right? Because the US government realized that China could use this as a tool to influence Americans,
and also because Eric kept trying to send him friend requests.
And you know, it's a little crazy how we're so hooked on social media that governments
don't even need to steal our data anymore.
We'll just give it to them for free.
And I blame myself.
Yeah, I'm part of this problem.
I also took part in that personal information challenge. That was a big mistake. I hope I go viral.
That was a big mistake. I hope I go viral.
All right, let's move on from all the data that you're putting into TikTok to all the
data that's coming out of the January 6 hearings.
The investigation that will somehow result in less punishment than the Oscars slap.
Last week, we learned mostly about how Trump knew that he had lost.
Then we learned about how Mike Pence almost got hanged.
And today's session was all about how President Trump and his allies tried to pressure state officials to sign on to his various schemes
for overturning the election. Everything from throwing out Biden votes to
creating slates of fake electors to even eating the Constitution really fast
before anyone could look up the election laws. And one of the people
Trump depended on most in this pressure campaign was Rudy Giuliani,
his personal lawyer, and final boss in a resident evil game.
Unfortunately, it seemed like no one wanted to take Rudy's calls.
Pennsylvania House Speaker Brian Cutler received daily voicemails from Trump's lawyers
in the last week of November.
This is Speaker, this is Rudy Giuliani and Janet Ellis. We're calling you together because we'd like to discuss, obviously, the last week of November. This is Speaker, this is Rudy Giuliani and Janet Ellis.
We're calling you together because we'd like to discuss, obviously, the election.
Hey Brian, it's Rudy. I really have something important to call your attention.
I think really changes things.
Cutler felt that the outreach was inappropriate and asked to lawyers to tell Rudy Giuliani to stop calling,
but Giuliani continued to reach out.
I understand that you don't want to talk to me now,
I just want to bring some facts to your attention,
and talk to you as a fellow Republican.
Oh, wow, that's desperate.
Yeah, Rudy made so many unanswered calls.
The iPhone just labling him as spam.
Yeah, thus the tho-in call to to call told call told call told call told call told call told call tooom. Labeling him as spam, yeah. And not just his calls, his body, it's 90% spam.
And can we acknowledge what a fall this has been?
This man went from being an American hero
to now sounding like a telemarketer, selling a coup.
If you order now, I'll throw in that chair Abraham Lincoln is sitting on.
Yeah. Hello? Hello?
And you know, this is just another example of how historic President Trump really was.
Any other time in US history, if the president's lawyer called someone, they would take that call.
But when Trump's vampire lawyer called people, everyone was like, tell him I'm not here.
Yeah, tell him I went camping and I died.
A bear, ate my face, tell him I'm not here. Also, not that I'm encouraging it, because th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. A. A. A. A. A. thea. I'm not here. Also, not that I'm encouraging
it, because I'm not. But if you are, going to try and overturn an election, maybe don't
leave voicemails. It's a paper trail. Also, it's 2022. Text. Who leaves voicemails? You realize
how thirsty you're coming off. Hey, it's me again.
Come on, Rudy. Just hit him with a quick late night. Who leaves voicemails? You realize how thirsty you're coming off. Hey, it's me again.
Come on, Rudy.
Just hit him with a quick late night you up for subverting democracy.
Eggpline emoji, red hat emoji, vampire emogy.
Come on, Rudy.
Keep up with the times.
All right, but let's move on.
It has now been almost a month since the tragic school shooting in Uvaldi.
And while shootings like this are always traumatic, this particular one has been made worse
by how the police in Uvaldi have responded.
They didn't go in, they waited for an hour, and then they even stopped parents from
trying to save their own kids. And if that wasn't bad enough, they've been trying try try try try try try try try try try to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toock. tolde. tooomoom-a. tooom-aqqq. tooom-a. tooom-a. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. toe. toe. the trying to save their own kids. And if that wasn't bad enough, they've been trying to block information about that day from coming out.
And each time, more information comes out, we learn why.
This morning, the first surveillance image from inside Rob Elementary emerges.
The photo showing multiple police officers standing inside the building with rifles and at least one ballistic shield 19 minutes after the gunman entered.
This, despite school police chief Pete Aredondo's original claim, that the officers weren't properly armed to take down the gunman at that point.
Officers didn't enter the classroom and killed the shooter until 58 minutes later.
The state's director of public safety, Stephen McCraw,
testifying before lawmakers,
blasting law enforcement's response as his department's investigation
uncoversed new evidence about the massacre.
He says officers were waiting for keys to enter,
but investigators finding the door couldn't be locked from the inside
and saying that officers never even tried opening it.
Yeah, you know this story just keeps getting worse and worse.
Every single time we learned something, it gets worse and worse.
We already knew that they waited far too long to confront the shooter.
But now we found out that they lied about not having enough weapons to go in.
Because it turns out they had assault rifles, they had body armor and ballistic sha.
Because it turns out they had assault rifles, they had body armor, and ballistic shields. So I'm sorry, what else were they waiting for? The invincible star from Mario? What was that?
Huh? Get the fuck got in the room! Like, how do they not go in?
You know? Which is, by the way, another thing that we've learned. They didn't even try to get in the classroom. They didn't even try to get their. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. the the their. their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their the. the. thea. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their was locked, but the door wasn't locked. They just never tried to open it, which is ridiculous.
Even people waiting outside like a locked bathroom at Starbucks
will jiggle the handle after two minutes, just to be sure, sure.
They'll try.
But it turns out these cops couldn't do what?
The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park took five minutes to learn.
Just that.
And you know what's insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane is insane the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the thia.. thia, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. to. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th minutes to learn, they couldn't do that, just that. And you know what's insane about this whole story?
Is how the one time, the one time it would have been appropriate to go in guns blazing,
the cops decide to have a picnic outside.
Yeah, but if you're black or you have a broken tail light, oh, then all of a sudden they
go all rambo on your ass.
Ah, we're coming in. We're coming. Yes, you respect them, but it
doesn't mean you just trust every single thing that they say after an incident.
Journalists shouldn't be reporting what the police said. They should be
investigating what actually happened. Because time and time again,
time and time again, we learn that cops in America,
they basically use the same principle as toddlers.
They'll tell the truth, but only if it doesn't get them in trouble.
No, mommy, the cookies try to eat me.
I was just responding.
And no, my body camera wasn't working.
Yeah, I turned it off.
All right, finally, let's move on to some lighter news. A lot of exciting stuff happened this weekend. Drake dropped a surprise new album.
Beyonce dropped a new single.
And not to be outdone, President Biden had a drop of his own.
A scare for President Biden today, when he fell off his bicycle in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware,
the 79-year-old was stopping to talk to reporters when you see there his foot got caught in the pedal guard as he was dismounting his bike.
He quickly got to his feet.
Later on his way out of church, the president repeated that he was doing just fine and hopped
in place several times to prove it.
Oh, President Biden.
That's just embarrassing.
He was just standing.
And the bike fell over.
And you know, it's actually too bad,
because before he fell over,
he was looking kind of good.
Yeah, all of us were like, wow, look at him riding that bike.
And he's 80 years old, and then he stops and falls, and we're like, oh yeah.
He's 80 years old. He's 80 years old.
He's 80 years old.
And you know, it's not just the falling off of the bike that isn't moving,
but it's the fact that he thought that hopping was going to reassure Americans that he still got it.
You know, that little...
No, because you can see, you can see, when he was hopping, in his mind, he looked like Creed. He was like, yeah, look at me go, look at me go.
When in fact his hopping looked like, you know when someone is trying to escape a kidnapper
who tied their legs together?
It was like that.
Now, apparently the reason he fell is because his foot got caught in the pedal cage. And knowing America, it means that right now, that bicycle, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle, that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that bicycle is that's is thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, that bicycle is already at Guantanamo Bay.
Who do you work for?
The Taliban, China, Russia?
Kamala?
Ah, the silent treatment, huh?
Okay, that's how you want to play it.
Well, you better start talking soon, or by the time I'm done with you, you'll be a one-speed. Don't get smart with me, you asshole!
Still though, falling down is always an embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, never mind a president,
which is why former president, Donald Jolly Trump,
he made sure to weigh in.
One of the greatest travesties of all
is to see a person in the White House
who, even after years of political experience,
has absolutely no clue how to be the president of the United States.
And I hope he has recovered, because, as you know, he fell off his bicycle to be the president of the United States. And I hope he has recovered, because as you know, he fell off his bicycle today.
No, I'm serious. I hope he's okay.
Fell off a bicycle.
I make this pledge to you today.
I will never, ever ride a bicycle. Every bicycle in the world.
Breathe the collective sigh of relief.
He's not going to write us, guys.
He's not going to ride us. Thank God.
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Gasoline or as scientists call it, dinosaur pee-pee. Over the past few months, global demand for oil has kept rising, faster than the supply,
to the point where the price of gas in the United States is now $6 billion a gallon.
So drivers are hurting.
The good news is that, as always, President Biden wants to help.
The bad news is that, as always, it doesn't look like he can.
The President this afternoon called on Congress to temporarily suspend the federal gas
tax, which is right now about 18 cents a gallon.
It's a move President Biden has resisted until today, given that it is unlikely to pass
Congress.
While officials say a gas tax holiday is worth considering, there is a cost. Those funds are used for repairing roads and infrastructure,
important priorities across the country.
What the president wants is a three-month gas tax holiday
on both regular gas and diesel going into September.
You also want states to pass their similar versions of that gas tax holiday.
The president also had a word specifically here for the oil companies.
Here's what he said. Bring down the price you are charging at the pump to reflect to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the cost to the cost to the cost the cost to the cost the cost to the cost the cost the cost to reflect the cost the cost the cost to to the cost to the cost the cost to the cost priorities the cost the cost priorities the cost to the cost their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ca the ca specifically here for the oil companies. Here's what he said.
Bring down the price you are charging at the pump to reflect the cost you are paying for the product.
Do it now. Do it today.
Why are you talking like that? Is this a secret?
Should the rest of us be listening?
Why does he do that thing?
It's so strange. Like Joe Biden's the only president whose vibe shifts in the middle of a sentence
Oil companies you better lower the prices
Please, please, I'm begging you
If you're president you just got to say things otherwise it makes you look weak, you know, you can't be like mr. Garbage have tear down this wall if you get around to it. It's such an ugly wall or at least. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the the the achev, tear down this wall if you get around to it.
It's such an ugly wall, or at least painted.
Come on.
And you know, I feel like this is the big difference between Trump and Biden, you know, is how they
use their power.
Because with Trump, it was always like, ah, shit, is he going to use his power? And with Biden, it's not like, shit, is he going their their th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I th. And, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toeei. toei. toei. toe. toe. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi his power? Also, whoever decided to call it a gas tax holiday,
that person should be fired.
It's not a holiday?
What does that mean?
It's a gas tax holiday.
No, it's just be like we're not charging gas.
It's a gas tax holiday.
That's the worst of all times.
You save 18 cents off of gas, Even Arbor Day is better than that shit. And this is what always confuses me about this country.
Everywhere in the world, governments
manage to protect their populations from corporate greed.
Like South Africa will limit how high bread prices can go.
The EU will be like, you cannot pump chickens with the same hormones they
use in the Hulk in China.
They're like, crypto's done.
And no more dancing on Tick-Tock, only homework. But, whenever the American government has to deal with corporations,
they've got about as much power as a tortoise that's stuck on its back, you know?
It's just like, come on oil companies.
Come on, pass on your savings.
Drug companies don't overcharge for life-saving drugs, please.
Please.
Please.
But still, this is good news for Americans.
Instead of the gas tax going to maintaining roads and infrastructure, drivers will now save
18 cents per gallon.
And then you can use those savings to buy a new car after yours gets swallowed up by
a pothole.
But let's move on to a different problem facing practically everyone in America.
Gun violence.
There have been many mass shootings in America over the past couple of decades.
And after each one, people have always said, maybe this time will be different.
Maybe Congress will do something about this.
And every time Congress was like, no.
But ever since the mass shooting in Buffalo and Uvalde last month, a group of senators
from both parties have been working together to see they can find any common ground on
gun reform.
And it turns out this time is different, ever so slightly.
This morning after decades of partisan gridlock a major breakthrough in Congress, 14 Republicans
joining all 50 Democrats to advance a new compromise
on gun restrictions.
This is a breakthrough.
And more importantly, it's a bipartisan breakthrough.
The deal includes enhanced background checks for people between 18 and 21, closing the so-called
boyfriend loophole, preventing romantic partners convicted of domestic violence from
buying guns, directing more money for states to implement their own plans to address gun violence,
and billions for school security upgrades and mental health services.
And Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell calls the deal a common-sense package of popular
steps that will help make these horrifying incidents less likely while fully upholding the Second Amendment.
Oh, I agree with Senator Mitch McConnell.
Thank God, the precious Second Amendment has been preserved.
Oh, yes. I mean, I'm all for protecting kids, but the Second Amendment?
Oh, have you seen that little face? Have you seen it? Who's Second Amendment are you?
Who's Second Amendment are you? You're adorable.
Sometimes I feel like Americans want to protect the Constitution
more than they want to protect the Americans
the Constitution is supposed to protect.
It doesn't make any sense.
Oh, I'm glad we could protect the Second Amendment.
I'll tell you now, if the Second Amendment was in that classroom in Uvaldi,
the cops would have busted the door down with with with with with Mitch the their m down with would have bust the door down with Mitch McConnell right behind them. You're a Rippie Calle, motherf!
Fah!
And I will say, look, I know for a lot of people
can be hard to know how to feel about this deal,
because it doesn't include a lot of things that people want.
You know, it doesn't ban assault rifles. It doesn't raise age limits. It. thagagagagag. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th thi. th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. And th- th- th- thr-n. And thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th th. And, th th th thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thr-a. And, I th thr-a. And, I do universal background checks, which is the most basic thing imaginable. So for some, this kind of thing, you know, feels like
trying to stop Godzilla by dropping a few mouse traps around the city. But on
the other hand, on the other hand, after three decades of nothing,
this deal is something. Please remember that, it is something. It's not
going to solve everything, but it's something. And something is always better than nothing. That's the entire philosophy
behind the hand job.
All right, let's move on.
If you've been out in New York City over the past few years, especially pandemic and
through it, you've probably noticed a wild new phenomenon. And no, I'm not talking about how the stuff dripping from air condition
this doesn't taste as good as it used to,
which, no, it really bothers me.
It used to have like a flavor.
It had a tang when it was like falling in your mouth.
You'd be like, hmmm...
No, the problem I'm talking about is the squads. streets and sidewalks like Trump supporters trying to find my pets.
Well now, the mayor of New York City has decided to crush this problem literally.
Today heavy machinery crushed illegal ATVs, dirt bikes and motorcycles confiscated by the NYPD.
Mayor Eric Adams waved a checkered flag and work began.
He said this effort was to ensure these vehicles cannot ever terrorize the city again.
The NYPD says that it has seized more than 2,000 of these vehicles citywide, an increase
of more than 80% from this time last year.
Hell yeah, baby, crush those bikes.
That's what I want from my city government! Yeah! I don't even care
about the undefunded schools anymore, because this shit rocks!" By the way, why is
he waving a check-and-flag at the beginning of a race? Does he not understand how a
race works? The guy in the truck is like, I've finished already? Now look, I will admit, as a New Yorker, humble brag,
maybe this isn't the biggest problem the city is facing right now.
You know, rents are driving people out of their homes.
Traffic is always bad, and the subways are always shutting down.
Because I think we have trains that are scared of the dark or something.
Yeah, yeah, no, I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that are scared of the dark or something. Yeah, yeah, no, I think that's what it is in New York.
You see, because they find, and then they go into a tunnel,
and then they're just like, ah, ah,
you guys should walk, I don't know what to do.
This is scary.
In fact, instead of crushing these bikes into the tunnel, you know?
Yeah, let people wheelie to work.
Or give them to the police so they don't have to ride horses anymore.
What are you doing?
Stopping crime in the 1850s?
Huh? the dirt bike kids to ride around neighborhoods where the rents have gotten unaffordable. Help keep the prices down.
The studio apartment with no bathroom.
You want it?
You want it?
It costs $6,000 a month.
What?
Ging-gig-gig-gig-g.
Ging-g.
All right, give me 50 bucks. All right, and finally, if you're one of those people who really likes to vapea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, to-s, to-s, Ia-s, I's-s, I's-s, I's-s-s, to-s, to-s-s-s, you're-s-s-s-s-s-s, you's-s-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, I I I I I I I's-s, I I I's, I I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. thoes-s. thoes-s.. thin. thin. tooe-s. tooeru. to-s. to-a-a-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-Ia-s. to-s. to-Ia-s. to-s. to-a-a-a-s. to-a-s. of those people who really likes to vape, well,
first of all, congratulations on being basic.
And second of all, you might want to stock up because your supply is about to run out.
One of the largest makers of e-cigarettes may soon be forced to stop selling its products
in this country.
The Wall Street Journal says the FDA could order Jule E-cigarettes off the market as soon as today.
The FDA has criticized Jewel for gearing its products toward young people.
It already barred the sale of fruity and sweet e-cigarette cartridges.
Jewel had hoped to continue selling tobacco flavors.
It can appeal if the FDA does hand down that ban as expected.
That's right people.
Jewel e-cigarettes are about to be banned, so your days of going around looking like
you're blowing R2D2 are over.
But this is a big move by the FDA.
Because you realize Jewel is the iconic vaping brand.
So by them doing this, it's like going off to soda by banning Coke.
Or going off to Coke by banning Coke or going off to Coke by
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The Supreme Court, the only government department where the dress code is retired Jedi.
You all know how America has been struggling with gun violence for the past, let's say, half a century or so.
Well, while everyone is trying to figure out a solution, the Supreme Court's just weighed in in the most unhelpful way possible.
Breaking news at this hour. The US Supreme Court has just issued a major ruling in the
challenge to a New York gun law. Now this is the most significant second amendment ruling
in more than a decade. In a six to three decision, the court struck down New York's law, which places restrictions on
concealed handguns.
The law in question in New York said, to get a concealed carry permit, a person had to
go to the county sheriff and show some special need.
Today, the Supreme Court said that's unconstitutional, so this will affect New York and
it'll affect half a dozen other states that have similar laws in which you had to show some heightened need beyond just a general desire for self-defense to get a concealed carry permit.
This expands the Second Amendment right.
What we don't know is if it completely eliminates the possibility for any sort of gun regulation.
Oh I think we do know. You can see where this is going. This Supreme Court is
feeling themselves, huh?
Because you realize they finally have all the justices they need to do anything they want.
It's like Amy Coney Barrett was the last infinity stone that they needed.
Yeah. They put it in and now they're just snapping away at all the laws.
It's like voting rights, gun control, Miranda rights, abortion. I love th I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th. th. th. th. th, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thin, I thin, I thin, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, think, I think, thin, thin, thin, thin, I thin, I thin, I th I love this song, yeah.
But yeah, the Supreme Court has struck down restrictions on who can carry guns outside of the home,
saying that you can't require people to meet certain standards in order to get a license,
which makes complete sense because that would be making the militia well regulated.
And I mean, you can't do that, you know?
It's not like it's written anywhere. Basically, New York had a law for the past hundred years
that said if you want to just carry a gun around with you wherever you go, you need
to prove that you have a specific reason. You need that gun, you know, for your protection. You have to go to the police, you have to tell them, you have to to explain the police. to explain the police. to explain, to explain, the police. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. the the the to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the past a the past a the past a the past. the past. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha thauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauau. the the the the the the the the the is making threats against you or maybe you're Liam Nieson's daughter and people keep trying to kidnap you even though it seems
like it would be way easier to kidnap anyone else's daughter at this point
and the Supreme Court has said to New York you can't do that anymore.
Yeah and you know in a way this is exciting as a New Yorker. Yeah because I don't know about you guys but I don't know about you guys but the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the th. th. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the drivers screaming at each other and and bikers cussing out the drivers and
Pedestrians wailing at the bikers and the drivers the one thing I always think is man
One thing that would calm this down as if everyone had a gun right now
Just a Glock or two would really chill this situation now And I mean it will switch things up you know, now when you're on the subway and you
see a guy reaching into his pants who'll be like, oh, please let it be a dick, please let
it be a dick, let it be a dick, oh, please let it be a penis.
And it's crazy how this ruling is coming down at the exact same time that Congress finally
reached a deal on gun reform.
It took 30 years of trying to come up with these extremely minor gun safety measures.
And then the Supreme Court just swoops in and moves everything back in another direction.
Yeah, Congress is like, we've reached a bipartisan agreement that 18 to 21-year-olds can no
longer buy guns and leap years between the
hours of 3 a.m. and 3.15 a. And then the Supreme Court is like,
I check this out. Starting now, every time it rains, it rains guns. Yeah? What do you
guys think? So this is obviously a big setback for gun safety. But if you
ask me, New York just needs to get creative. Yeah, they need to think outside of the box.
In the same way that Texas did, right?
Look at what Texas did with banning abortion.
They weren't allowed to ban it.
So they just made a new law that basically banned it anyway.
That's what New York needs to do with guns.
Like, yeah, they should say, okay, anyone can buy a gun to th but the gun stores are only open on the
nights that the people. You know what's funny is like whenever I'm at Madison Squaregon and I see the players,
they're like, did you, I'm like, I don't make that, I don't make these jokes.
All right, let's move on from the people who are about to cause havoc with all their guns to
the people who are already causing havoc with all their guns.
The police. Over the last year, the city of has been rocked by incidents where police saw a civilian
running away, they decided to chase after them, and somehow they ended up killing them.
So now, the police department has a new plan to stop those types of killings before they
start.
Chicago police officers would no longer be allowed to chase people on foot simply because they run
away or give chase over minor offenses.
The new policy requires enhanced supervision.
Officers must file a report if they start a chase.
Foot chases will be reviewed and officers must weigh the seriousness of the offense
against the need to make an arrest.
Officers can't start a chase if they're hurt, unaware of their location, unable to communicate
or lose their radio or gun.
Well, yeah.
I mean, if you're a cop who's lost your radio and gun,
and you don't know where you are,
you are in no position to be chasing anyone.
Yeah, maybe just throwing the towel, my man, today's not your day.
But I think this policy actually makes sense, because people used to assume the towel, my man, today's not your day.
But I think this policy actually makes sense, because people used to assume that if you're
running from a police officer, you must have done something wrong and you need to be chased
down.
But there are many reasons why someone might want to run from the police.
Maybe they're scared of the police.
Or maybe the cop is their ex, and they's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thiii. thi. th don't want their ex to see them and be like, oh, looks like I made the right choice.
And even if the person is a legitimate suspect,
you want to make sure that the crime is worth the chase,
all right?
Because when police chase a suspect,
it is way more likely to end in violence.
Think about it.
Once somebody makes you sprint across the city. You're way more likely to want to beat their ass when you catch them.
Yeah, nobody's happy when they're forced to run.
Even people running marathons are like,
as soon as I get to the finish, I'm gonna choke somebody.
All right, finally, let's move on to some international news.
Right now, inflation is out of control. And I mean, we all know this, except probably treat to be to be to be of us treat closet spaces like, oh, where do I keep my winter dollars? There's no more space!
But for everyone else, inflation hurts. Prices are skyrocketing. Wages aren't keeping
up. And it turns out, it's not just America. This is happening all over the world,
which is weird because Fox News told me that Joe Biden is the only reason we have inflation.
So that means he's also causing it in Denmark?
Damn you, Joe!
Now one country in particular that's been struggling is the United Kingdom, right?
Where railway workers have been demanding an increase in their pay to help deal with inflation.
But their demands have been ignored, so this week they took action.
Britain faces its biggest rail strikes in three decades after last-minute talks between
a union and train companies failed to agree on pay, up to 40,000 staffers staged a walkout
in a protest over pay and job security. Good morning from a choir to the normal Paddington station
where just one in five services
will be running as indeed they are around the country.
The Prime Minister has told his cabinets these strikes are wrong and unnecessary.
I want to say something about the rail strikes that are today causing significant disruption
and inconvenience up and down the country.
Make it more difficult for people to get to work, risking people's appointments, making it more difficult
for kids to sit exams, all sorts of unnecessary aggravation this is going to cause.
Yes, it's preposterous. I mean, I need those trains to get to my illegal work parties. How else
am I supposed to spread COVID? This is really ridiculous. This is absolutely disgusting. Yes, British railway workers are on strike and
now British people have no way to travel to their silly sounding towns. Yeah, there's no way
someone from Barton and the Beans can travel to Giggleswick or to Upton
Snodsbury or even to Netherwallop. How will they get to Netherwallop?
But for real though, for real, for real.
The truth is, a railway strike is actually really serious, right?
Because it is crippling for the UK. So many of its people depend on the trains.
And I don't know you guys think British people just get around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around their their their their their their to get their to get their their to get their to get their the trains. And I don't know you guys think British people
just get around on flying umbrellas, but that's just the nannies. The people need the trains.
And please, don't get me wrong. I also understand that this train strike inconveniences
countless people in the UK. But you know who's also inconvenienced, right? Because people are complaining. In the UK, they're like, oh, these people need the people need need need need need need need need need need need need to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their train, train train train train train train train train train train train their their their their their their their their t people need to get back to work, this is terrible, just get back to work. But the train workers are inconvenienced.
You realize train workers in the UK can't afford to make ends meet anymore.
And there's many of them who haven't gotten a pay increase in 10 years.
So if now's not the time to get a wage increase, and 10 years ago wasn't the time, time, and then the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing in the time nothing in the time nothing in the time. the time. the time. the time the time. the time. the time. the time in the time in the time in the time in the time the time. the time in the time in the time in the time in the time in the time, and then. the time in the time, and the time in the time. the time. the time in the time. the time in the time. the time in the time........... the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tia. tea. tea. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the time? Right? Because I don't care what anybody says. It's not fair for somebody to work a full-time job, but not be able to make ends meet,
especially when your bosses make millions in profits.
Like, if you can't afford to live, then what's even the point of working?
You only work so that you can live.
That's why it's called making a living, all right?
Working without living is like being a parent, but there's no kid.
Yeah, think about it. Like parents, every parent knows that being a parent is miserable.
But then your kid, they just, they smile at you or they do something for the first time, and you're like, oh, it's so worth it.
But imagine if there was no child, huh? Imagine if there was no child, but you still got woken up in the middle of the night
by screams out of no...
Ahh!
There's nothing, or just every now and again.
There's just diapers filled with shit everywhere in your house.
And you just got it.
You just be like, there's no child, what am I doing this for?
What's the British economy.
But you know a lot of people don't realize, you know who this also affects?
The British trains.
Now that I've stopped working, I've had a lot of time alone with my thoughts and I've
realized what the hell am I? I'm a train. I'm
Thomas the train but I have a human face but where's the rest of my body?
Do I have arm somewhere? Do I have a penis? Is it a human penis or is it a train penis?
Help me somebody? Help me find my train penis!
Ah! penis. Help me somebody. Help me find my train penis! Before we go, please consider donating to the National Black Justice Coalition.
Since 2003, they have been America's leading national civil rights organization advocating
for federal policies that fight against racism and homophobia.
So, if you can, please donate at the link below to help them reach their vision of a world where all people are fully empowered to participate
safely, openly, and honestly in family, faith, community, regardless of their
race, their class, their gender, identity, or their sexual orientation. It's a
really great organization.
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