The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Spring Break Chaos in Miami Beach, NCAA Gender Disparities & Dog Bow Ties
Episode Date: March 27, 2021Maskless spring break revelers cause a state of emergency in Miami Beach, FL, casual sexism pervades the women's NCAA tournament, and a teenager uses bow ties to boost dog adoptions. Learn more about... your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever
you get your podcasts. Spring Break, the one week a year when college students drink and party.
This is now the second year that spring break has fallen during coronavirus,
but things are a little different now.
At this time last year, many people hadn't started taking the pandemic seriously yet.
But this year, they've stopped taking the pandemic seriously too soon.
Spring break state of emergency.
Overnight, more chaos on Miami Beach.
A wild weekend of mostly maskless people packing the streets.
Police shooting pepper balls to disperse the crowd,
setting off a stampede.
More than a thousand people arrested there since the start of spring break.
Maskless crowds descended into the entertainment district over the weekend,
dancing on cars, drinking in the streets, defying an 8 p.m. curfew issued
Saturday. Tourists have been packing this popular spring break destination since
February back when Florida's governor Ron DeSantis declared the state a
quote oasis of freedom from coronavirus restrictions. Governor
Ron DeSantis makes it a state no mask, we can come and have some fun.
One guy dressed as the Joker climbed on top of a car with an American flag tossed dollar
bills and declared COVID's over.
COVID's over, yeah.
COVID's over, baby.
Oh wow.
The new Snyder cut is weird as hell.
But let's be clear here.
COVID is not over, all right?
Some random dude can't declare the end of the pandemic by dressing up like the joker and making it rain.
It's not a thing.
Only Dr. Fauci can declare the end of the pandemic by dressing up like the joker and making it rain.
And look, you can't totally blame the musculist partying on college students. I mean, this is what's going to happen after Florida's governor called the state a,
quote, freedom oasis. Like, if I put a Starbucks sign above my apartment door, I can't be mad
when people show up and try to take a shit in my bathroom. But still, there's no reason
that you can't celebrate spring break and wear a mask. It can even even even. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thr-in' thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, thr-in, thro. throooooo. theauuuuuuooooooooo. theauooooo. theauuo. thea. the. even be part of the fun. I mean,
just think about how sexy a wet mask contest could be. I mean we haven't seen
mouths in a year. What's under there? Mmm. Mm. And if we've learned anything
from Miami, this is just a preview of how much everyone is going to let loose
once the pandemic is truly over. People have been locked up for too long. Once it ends, everyone's going to be drinking and partying up with the their up with their up with their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their we'll their their their their their th. th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t pandemic is truly over. People have been locked up for too long. Once it ends, everyone's going to be drinking and partying,
hooking up with everyone.
It's going to be so much that it's going to create the next worldwide virus.
Yeah.
Guys are going to be waking up in bed next to a bat,
like, uh-oh, I think I did it again.
But let's move on to this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week this week the th week the th week th week the the thi thi thi thi th's big political news. President Raisin Biden. He's facing a lot of challenges in his first 100 days.
The vaccine rollout, the crisis at the border,
what happened to Ms. Frizzle,
but over the weekend, he faced his biggest challenge yet,
staying upright.
A White House spokesperson has blamed Win Gus for Biden's stumbling three times
as he attempted to climb the stairs onto Air Force One. This happened as the Commander-in-Chief
was boarding the aircraft to fly to Georgia. The same White House spokesperson added that Mr. Biden
is doing, quote, 100% fine and did not require medical attention.
I'm sorry guys. I honestly can't believe that this happened.
The president got knocked over by wind? This is going to be the first
president where the Secret Service needs to carry around paper weights.
Hold on, sir, hold on, we got you. We got you. Someone snazed. For real though,
why, why couldn't they just say that he tripped? Tripping on stairs is a normal
thing. You don't need to lie about it. But saying you got blown over by the wind,
that is so much weirder.
It's like if your roommate walked in on you jerking off,
and instead of just telling him, you're like,
oh no, I'm detaching my penis for the night.
I put it away for safekeeping.
And by the time. Biden tripped, Obama tripped, Mike Pence tripped.
And the reason isn't because they're old.
The reason is because they were running up and down stairs.
You shouldn't do that.
That would never happen in Africa.
I mean, mostly because our presidents fly commercial, and they got to wait.
the board their president. but you get what I mean. The point is, we don't think about it because we use stairs so much, right?
No one thinks about it, but stairs are basically an obstacle course.
You take one wrong step and you're gonna eat shit.
And that's one thing, one thing that my man, Trump, understood.
You love him or hate him, but you gotta treat stairs with respect.
He understood that.
You walk up slowly. You hold up up up up you swear to God that if he lets you survive
this, you'll never walk upstairs ever again.
March Madness is the most fun way to gamble away your Stimmy.
This year's tournament has already seen its fair share of upsets, like Oral Roberts
making it to the Sweet 16.
And I'm guessing from its name also third base. But the biggest shock of the tournamentment to to to to to court court court court court court court court court court court court to to to court court court court. to to to court court court court. to to to to the court. the court. to the court. the court. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the guessing from its name also third base. But the biggest shock of the tournament so far didn't happen on the court. It
happened in the weight room. The NCAA is apologizing after being criticized for
the stark difference in the fitness facilities provided to the men and the women
competing in the college basketball tournaments. Oregon's Sedona Prince gave us a
glimpse of the weight room differences in a social media video last Thursday. So for the NCAA March
Madness, the biggest tournament in college basketball for women. This is our
weight room. Let me show you all the men's weight room.
As you can see, the men were provided with a lot more equipment than the women.
It did not take long for the NCAA to make changes, though.
By Saturday, the NCAA sharing the new setup for the women,
Prince thanking everyone who helped.
Guess what, guys?
We got a weight room, yeah.
Damn, that's ice cold.
Because that's not a weight room.
That's just the wreck of weights that you buy in the beginning of quarantine, and then then then then then then then then then then then never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never then, and then, and then, and thue, and thuse, and thuse, thuse, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the thi not a weight room. That's just the rack of weights that you buy in the beginning of quarantine and then never use.
And honestly, this is surprising because usually the NCAA
treats male and female athletes equally.
I mean, they definitely pay them both the same amount.
But to be fair, at least the NCAA made it right.
After the uproar, they gave the women the same amenities that the men's weight room has. More machines, more weights, and they even added the guy who always makes way too much noise when he's lifting.
Now, it was upsetting enough when people saw the difference in men's and women's weight rooms.
But it turns out that sexism in the NCAA is a lot like face tune.
Once you're aware of it, you start noticing it everywhere.
But it's not just the weight room.
The COVID tests, different for the men's tournament, the more accurate PCR tests.
At the women's antigen test. Another
complaint, a quick look at the official March Madness Twitter account, the bio
reads, the official NCAA March Madness destination for all things
Division 1 NCAA men's basketball. No mention of the women's tournament.
The men have been provided with a brand new NCAA court with
March Madness, the huge logo in the middle, where on the women's court you're
going to still see two lines for the men's line and the women's line for three
point shots. There's a volleyball court on one of the courts. It doesn't even
look like an NCAA game. There are differences in food options for the men's and women's teams as well as the difference in gift bags gags the gift men were given a large number of custom items designed for March Madness while the women's
had a few generic items including a 150-piece puzzle and a towel that said NCAA women's
basketball plus an umbrella.
A puzzle?
You know, that is a trash gift.
And what's even worse is when you complete it, it shows a picture of the men's team enjoying a free steak dinner. Seriously, how are you going to give the players a puzzle
that is not swag, people? When you look at all of this together, the differences are
so stark, it almost seems less like sexism, and more like the NCAA didn't even know that the women were coming. You know? It's so bad. It's almost like like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.a, tha, tha, thr.a, tha.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, their, their, their, their, their, their, the women were coming. You know? It's so bad. It's almost like the women were knocking on the door and the NCAA was just scrambling.
Oh shit, the ladies are here.
Do we have anything to give them?
Uh, I ordered a burger for lunch?
Okay, it'll work.
Just chop it up and save sliders.
What else?
Do we have swag? So, clearly casual sexism has pervaded almost every aspect of the player experience at
this tournament.
But, it's not just a problem for the players, it's also affecting the coaches.
There is also an article in the Athletic this morning about some of the female coaches
who are working in the tournament and how the NCAA is basically penalizing them in
their teams if they have, say, a baby who depends on them for food.
That baby counts inside the bubble against the total that they can bring in.
So that coach's team, if they want to feed their child, has to have one less athletic trainer,
one less other coach, one less person in the traveling party.
Ridiculous. Okay now that that is
positively ridiculous. No one should be punished for having children. The
children are already punishment enough. Not to mention, asking a coach to choose
between her baby and a trainer for the team. I mean that's a really great way to get
the rest of the team to hate that baby. I mean you could be getting deep tissue massages right now if if it it it it it it it it it if it th. if it th. If it th. If it th. If it th. If it th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. thi thus, thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No th. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th the the. the. the. the. thooooooooooo. their their the. their thooooooooo. thto get the rest of the team to hate that baby. I mean, you could be getting deep tissue massages right now if it wasn't for little Derek.
Now, I don't know why this seems so hard, but there's an obvious solution here. All you should do
is have the baby be the assistant coach. After all, a crying baby can be very motivational. What do you want me? tha tha thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. tea. teea. tea. teea. tea. tee. tea. te. te, a bottle? Do you want me to win the tournament?
Is that it?
Okay, I'll win the tournament.
Just please, take a nap.
Take a nap.
Just take a nap.
Oh, stop crying.
The fact is, the way that the women have been treated during this tourards male athletes as blatant and impossible to ignore as that one guy in the gym.
Chir...
Yeah, ugh!
Does anyone want to date me now?
Dogs.
Creators of the world's most popular sex position.
Across the country, there are thousands of good boys just waiting to be adopted, and one equally
good human boy is giving them a boost.
A 14-year-old found a way to help a lot of shelter dogs.
His name's Darius Browne, he helps them stand out in the crowd with bo-ties.
Darius has sown hundreds of bo-ties and sent them to animal shelters across the country,
looking sharp. And they aren't just for dogs because he makes them for cats too. There you go. He says he's donated about 600 boat ties for animal
shelters. Shelter workers say it helps the animals, especially older ones, get
noticed more quickly. Very smart. Yeah. Oh guys, a bow tie on a dog? That's something you don't
expect. You know it's like shrimp tails and cinnamon toast crunch but adorable. And this is a genius plan because a bowtie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie to to toe toe toe boo toe toe toe toe. toe. too too too too too too toe toe toe toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to to toe. to to to toe. to to to toe. to to toe. to to to tie. tie. the the the the the thea. thea tie. thea thea thea thea to to thea to to to to to to to t shrimp tails and cinnamon toast crunch, but adorable.
And this is a genius plan, because a bow tie just makes everything a little snazia.
You know, dogs, people, other bowties. A simple bowtie could even make like a raging
douchebag seem respectable, which is, by the way, how Tucker Carlson got a TV show.
The only problem is, you will never know why the dog has a bow tie on.
I mean, is it fashion? Or did that dog join the nation of Islam? Some old nice white lady
is going to be bringing her dog home like, speak, spake, speak! Oh, what a surprise! The white
devil wants me to speak on command! Moving on to the coronavirus vaccine.
That's the only thing on
earth that stored colder than dipping dots. Every day more and more people are
vaccinated, but after a year of being extremely cautious, some people can't
quite bring themselves to accept the good news because it's been so long.
I mean even when I smile I'm like, oh no, my frown turned upside down. Is that a
COVID symptom? So here's a rare of sunshine about a grandmother
who are still anxious about doing what she could
after getting vaccinated and how her doctor helped her overcome it.
Some people say the best medicine is love.
For one woman in the Bronx,
that's just what the doctor ordered.
Take a look at this prescription.
This is what Evelyn Shaw got.
It reads, you are allowed to hug your granddaughter. It comes after both of them were fully vaccinated.
My daughter and granddaughter came to my apartment
because they had a gift for me to my amazement.
Was a prescription from my doctor.
And she wrote, you are allowed to hug your granddaughter.
That hug is a hug I'm going to remember forever.
Okay, you gotta admit, this is such a heartwarming story.
I mean, unless we find out that that's the doctor's treatment for everything.
I'm afraid it's lupus.
So what you're gonna need to do is go and hug this
woman's grandma right away. Twice a day. Now yes it is true that the doctor was
out of network so that hug will cost $80,000 but I'm still happy that this
grandma got to see her family before she files for medical bankruptcy and
actually really shows you how much people respect the authority of doctors. I mean, once they write a prescription, there's no more arguing.
It's a prescription.
Oh, doctors could make that work for them, too.
Shit.
If I was a doctor, I'll just go into a bank with my prescription pad.
Good afternoon.
I have a prescription for you here that says you need to open the safe and hand cash. Well I guess if it's for my health. Now look until everyone can get
vaccinated it is still important to monitor the spread of the coronavirus so
we can stop any outbreaks before they get too far and now getting a coronavirus
test is going to be easier than ever.
Dore Dash will soon be delivering an at-home COVID tests across the United States.
The delivery apps teaming up with two health companies, Vault Health and Everly Well in 12 U.S. market.
DoorDash says delivery of the FDA-approved test kits
will typically take less than an hour.
They cost just over $100 each,
and they can return results in 24 to 48 hours.
Yes, thanks to DoDash. Thanks to Do-Dash.Da, you. to, home, along with, I'm assuming, 40 packets of ketchup.
And DoorDash isn't the only one helping, by the way.
Uber has started offering COVID tests, too.
Yeah.
If you get in the car and you can smell weed,
you just tested negative, my friend.
Congrats.
And let me just remind everybody right now,
that your delivery driver is not responsible for your test results. All right, because you know there are people out there who are going to base their reviews on that.
What? You're telling me that I have COVID?
Dude, one star!
Bitch, I'm not the one who coughed on you.
Moving on.
To a ray of sunshine from the world of racism. Yeah, even racism. Black people in America have been waiting for slavery reparations for 150 years.
And to put that in terms white people can understand,
that's even longer than you've been waiting for the next Game of Thrones book.
But now, residents of one city are finally getting their first taste.
The nation's first reparations program for African-Americans was approved overnight in Illinois.
The Chicago suburb of Evanston is moving forward
with a $10 million plan to address a history
of discriminatory housing practices
faced by its black residents.
The first step, which passed last night,
makes $400,000 available for home ownership grants
and mortgage assistance.
This plan could become a model
that more cities could follow.
That's right, people, Reparations are happening.
Ooh, with these housing grants,
black Americans can finally fulfill their lifelong dreams
of gentrifying a white neighborhood.
And kudos to Evanston, Illinois.
Especially since I assume whoever the Evans guy
the city was named after was a huge racist.
In fact, let me check that before I assume. Get some Wikipedia out and, yep,
huge racist. Here's my thing, though. It's great that some of the funding is going towards
practical things like aiding home ownership, but keep in mind, black people have been through
a lot of shit in America over the last 400 years. So, some of that money should also just be to give black people a today. told them, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, that, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thruuuuua. thea. thr-a. thea. thr-a. the. thr, like going to the spa or getting a facial or buying a stress ball for whenever Kanye West tweets something.
Basically what I'm saying is, it's not real reparations unless you give the descendants
of slavery actual money and let them choose how they want to spend it as if they're adults.
But still, congratulations to the black people of Evanston and congratulations to all the white people who are going to find a way way the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, th. Wea, th. Wea, th. I, th. I th. I'm, the. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.... I, th..... I, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te. te. I, tee.eean, teean, tean, teean, tean.ea.ea.ea.ea.e.e.e. te.e.e Evanston and congratulations to all the white people who are going to find a way to game the system. Well my 23 in me
says that I'm actually 3% Africa so... When 60 Minutes premiered in
September 1968 there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a
magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of
CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look starting September 17th wherever you get your podcasts.
Exciting news from the world of international shipping. You know, it's how you get all of those amazing products that claim to be locally sourced.
But now, some of those deliveries might be a little delayed.
Overseas a major concern for global shipping, a large container ship is blocking
the Swiss Canal. A technical problem caused a 1,300-foot vessel to run aground.
The online monitoring system, Tanker Tracker shows the huge backlog it's created, a traffic
jam basically, with ships unable to pass in either direction.
They're trying to get tugs in there to pull it out, but it's so big that they're having a hard time moving it. Okay, I don't know about you,
but I didn't even know that this could happen.
There's a giant traffic jam of cargo ships.
Yo, you realize that this is gonna set the human trafficking industry back weeks.
And I feel so bad for the captain of that ship
that got stuck in the canal,
because, like, we've all been there, trying to make a U-turn on a narrow street, but now imagine how much more stressful it must be when you know that if you back up wrong, you might bump Egypt.
Oh, sorry!
I also feel bad for all the guys behind that ship, because it's not like there's a lot of
alternate routes they can take.
Can you imagine if you're on how big that ship is,
I'm not surprised that it got stuck.
And the crazy thing is, that whole ship
is just delivering two double A batteries.
Yeah, the rest is just extra packaging.
What this situation really shows
is how, even in this age of technology,
we still depend on old-school things like cargo ships and canals. I mean, think about it.
Right now, we can use our wireless computer phone to buy a hologram with cryptocurrency.
But at the same time, big boat got stuck, what are too small.
But let's move on now to Washington, D.C., where there is a big debate going on about
gun control. You see, Democrats say that maybe we should do
something so that there isn't a mass shooting like every five minutes.
Ugh. While Republicans say, come on, where's your sense of adventure? Live a little!
But maybe Republicans are just busy with more important things. Because if you watch conservative
media right now, you know that at this moment, we are living through one of the biggest scandals in American
history.
Vice President Kamala Harris under fire for repeatedly failing to salute the military when
boarding air force to critics call a disgraceful that she would break the tradition of
showing respect.
And guess who appears to not support our men and women in the armed forces?
Vice President Kamala Harris, refusing to salute the military members standing their post.
You should respect the military when they salute, salute back.
She's not a very serious person.
At least she didn't fall up the staircase here.
But Bernie, the lack of respect here from Kamala Harris, I think is jarring for
a lot of folks.
For her to walk by them and not return their salute is just, it's outrageous, it's outrageous.
Unbelievable.
Kamala Harris, vice president and woman who is one strong gust of wind away from shattering
the glass ceiling did not return a salute.
This is outrageous and dangerous, my friends.
Because what if, what if Cuba invaded America and the Marines couldn't fight back
because they were still waiting for Kamala to return their salute?
I tell you who would never do this.
My man, Donald Trump.
He loved the military so much that he would salute other countries' troops.
That's respect.
Yo, but for real though, in case you're wondering, there's no actual rule that the vice president or the president are supposed to return a salute.
This is just something that Ronald Reagan started, like the crack epidemic.
And once he started, nobody wanted to be the one to stop.
You know, it's like how that one co-worker in your office started giving everyone
holiday gifts. And now you have to do it too, or you look, to, to, to, to, th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.... th...... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, the. And, the. And, tho. And, the. And, thean, thoooooooo. And, the. And, thi. And, thi. And, th, or you look like an asshole. Here's your Starbucks gift card, Cheryl. Oh, you got me so.
Oh, a Starbucks gift card.
What a good use of our time.
Now, personally, if I was a politician,
I'd be saluting all the time.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's like giving a little baby dab.
Like, people, if we're honest, if Kamila Harris doesn't salute, I don't think it's the end of the world. In fact, if anyone is disrespecting the military, it's the people on TV talking about
the troops, like their crybabies, make it seem like they're out there crying, like, oh,
I was waiting to salute when the vice president came, but when she walked by, she didn't
salute me.
So I saluted for nothing. And finally, some technology news out of Utah, the only place where Mitt Romney is considered
a renegade.
Utah has always been one of the most conservative states in the United States.
But now, they're taking it to a whole new level.
Utah is a step closer to requiring all cell phones and tablets sold in the state
to automatically block pornography. After tablets sold in the state to automatically
block pornography.
After the Republican governor signed legislation yesterday that critics call a significant
intrusion of free speech, Governor Spencer Cox said the measure would send an important message
about preventing children from accessing explicit online content.
The measure won't go into effect unless five other states inact similar laws, a provision that was added to address concerns that it would be difficult to implement.
That's right.
Utah's governor knows that porn doesn't belong on phones and tablets.
It belongs on laptops like God intended.
I'm sure it's a little bit harder to take it into the bathroom and try to balance it
on the sink, but that's just part of the excitement. Seriously, people, this is pointless.
Even if Utah did successfully ban cell phone porn, it wouldn't make any difference, all
all right? People are horny. If they can't watch porn, they'll find something else on
their phone to get the job done. Well, the Amazon app kind of looks like a penis, and the Instagram app looks like a robot their their I just put them together, yeah, that's gonna work for me.
That's gonna work real good.
By the way, I also love that Utah wants five other states to join them.
So even Utah's laws are polygamous.
But good luck, man.
Good like getting other states to ban porn.
I want to hear that sales pitch.
Come on, who else hates looking at naked people, huh? Alaska, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Uh, I don't think so, dude.
It's pretty lonely up here.
Wow, okay.
Uh, Idaho, what about you guys?
You guys think sex is gross?
Am I right? Before we go, as it is Women's History Month, I would please ask you to consider donating to donate to donate to donate to donate to donate a a to donate to donate to donate a to donate to donate a to donate to donate a to donate to donate to donate a to donate a to donate a to donate a to to donate a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a new way of life. An organization dedicated to providing housing, legal services, and
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