The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump Tries to Spin Poor Debate Performance | John Heilemann
Episode Date: September 12, 2024Jordan Klepper unpacks the debate aftermath including Trump's insistence that he won, Taylor Swift’s Kamala Harris endorsement, and the origin of the “immigrants eat our cats and dogs” conspirac...y. After JD Vance doubles down on Trump’s claim, Ronny Chieng visits Springfield to investigate the pet-eating allegations. Plus, Michael Kosta goes to Philadelphia to get the lowdown from Pennsylvania drivers on the bizarre inner workings of the Philadelphia Parking Authority and the cost of a parking ticket. And John Heilemann, chief political columnist at Puck and host of the “Impolitic” podcast, unpacks what he witnessed at the Trump-Harris debate in Philadelphia. John offers cheesesteaks from Philly institutions and shares his perspective from the media spin room, why he thinks Kamala Harris won the evening, and whether the debate swayed undecided voters.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily Show with your host
Jordan Clapper, we got so much to talk about.
Kamala Harris wins her first debate.
Donald Trump shits the debate bed and Jadie Vance shits the litter box.
So, let's get right into it with our continuing coverage of Indecision 2024. Last night, Kamala Harris and Donald Trump took to the debate stage to make their cases
to Taylor Allison Swift.
And whoever else happened to be watching.
It was not a good night for Trump.
In terms of personal tragedies for him, I'd put it somewhere between
losing the 2020 election and the day Fox News started letting female anchors
wear pants, somewhere in there. And there was one moment that was probably the best
example of just how badly Trump did at the debate. In Springfield, they're eating
the dogs, the people that came in, they're eating the cats, they're eating, they're eating, the debate. In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in, they're eating the
cats, they're eating, they're eating the pets of the people that live there.
Sir, the question was, state your name.
Now, if you were one of the many people last night wondering why Trump was shouting,
They're eating the dogs!
Let me explain.
It started with a random Facebook post where someone accused a Haitian immigrant of stealing and eating their
neighbors, daughter's friend's cat.
And if there's one thing we know about Facebook posts, it's that they're always rigorously fact-checked. But, as with any unfounded rumor on Facebook, obviously, this guys, this guy, the dog, they, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their their their thi, thi, thee, thi, thee, thee, thing thing th, th, th, th, thing thing thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, th, th, th, thing thing thing thing thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, theeeeeeeeeemememing theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the, the, thing we know about Facebook posts, it's that they're always rigorously fact-checked.
But as with any unfounded rumor on Facebook, obviously this got picked up by the right-wing
establishment and spread across the internet.
Even J.D. Vance promoted it while simultaneously acknowledging it was completely unfounded.
You might say he jumped in the misinformation pool, but kept his shirt on.
Which brings us to last night, if there's one thing we know about a racist conspiracy theory,
is that Donald Trump's brain will swallow it whole like a hungry immigrant at Petco.
And that's, and that's how a random Facebook post turn into Donald Trump's campaign slogan,
They're eating cats and dogs!
So, it seemed like Trump had a rough performance.
But you know what? That's just my opinion.
But you can also tell that Donald Trump was the loser,
because he did all the things losers do when they lose.
Number one, complaining about the refs. I thought they were very unfair the moderators. Everybody did. I thought it
was terrible from the standpoint of ABC. It was three to one. It was a rigged
deal as as I assumed it would be because when you looked at the fact that they
were correcting everything and not correcting with her. Yeah, man.
They were correcting you because of the things you were saying.
That's barely fact-checking.
The moderators were reacting like normal human beings react
when you hear the craziest shit you've ever heard.
Like, if you were at a cocktail party and your friend said,
Trans immigrants are eating dogs in Ohio,
you would say, what the fuck you're talking about, Stu? friend said, trans immigrants are eating dogs in Ohio.
You would say, what the fuck you talking about, Stu?
No, they aren't.
You wouldn't be like, okay, thank you for that.
Let's move on to foreign policy.
You know what?
It wasn't just blaming the refs.
Another way you know Trump lost is that he was accusing his opponent of cheating.
They had a rigged show with somebody that maybe even had the answers.
I mean, I'll be honest, I watched her talk.
And I said, you know, she seems awfully familiar with the questions.
Okay.
Okay.
You think she was cheating because she seemed familiar with the questions?
It's a presidential debate.
They always ask the same questions.
It's like being suspicious that someone knows all the words to take me out to the ballgame.
How will you fix the economy? What's your stance on abortion?
Do you promise not to overthrow the government?
Standard boilerplate debate questions.
Meanwhile, Trump seemed awfully familiar with the questions that nobody asked,
like, who's eating all the cats in Springfield, Ohio?
But maybe the best way you know Trump lost the debate is that he repeatedly insisted he won.
I think it was the best debate I've ever personally that I've had.
We're getting polls that show 92 to 6, 88 to 11.
Every single poll last night had to be winning like 90 to 10.
We had a C-spend. At one point was at 80 to 20.
We looked at one poll. It was 92 to 7. We had a 92% rating in one poll.
We had an 86% rating and another.
We had 77%, 90%, 72%, 71% and 89%.
Wow! Those certainly were numbers.
Those certainly were numbers.
Is this what Trump did during his debate prep, memorize all the numbers between 70 and 98?
In fact, every moment since the debate ended last night,
Trump has been spinning and spinning and spinning.
I mean, just listen to his response after Taylor Swift announced
she is
endorsing Kamala Harris.
Well, I actually like Mrs. Mahomes much better if you want to know the truth.
She's a big Trump fan. I was not a Taylor Swift fan.
Oh, really, Donald. You prefer Brittany Mahomes? What's your top five Brittany Mahomes songs?
Is this really his angle?
Well, I don't care Taylor because I like your boyfriend's co-worker's wife better.
This has just been a day of pathetic, desperate spinning.
I mean, imagine if Donald Trump spent all that energy on doing things correctly,
instead of pretending he did things correctly.
I mean, if he had worked harder preparing for the debate, maybe he wouldn't have had
to pretend he won the debate.
If he had worked harder to win in 2020, maybe he wouldn't have to pretend the election
was rigged.
And if he had worked harder on January 6th, maybe he could have overthrown the government government and wouldn't and th and th and th and th have to pretend the election was rigged. And if he had worked harder on January 6th,
maybe he could have overthrown the government
and wouldn't have to be debating in the first place.
It's called work ethic, Donald, come on.
Of course, Donald Trump wasn't the only one spinning his performance last night.
His aforementioned vice president, J.D. Vance, was asked about why Donald Trump wasn't the only one spinning his performance last night.
His aforementioned, Vice President J.D. Vance was asked about why Donald Trump ranted
about illegal immigrants eating pets, and his response was illuminating.
Why push something that's not true?
Well, first of all, city officials have not said it's not true.
They said they don't have all the evidence.
They said they have no evidence. We've heard from a number of constituents on th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a. thr-a. thr-a''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, thr- have all the evidence. They said they have no evidence. We've heard from a number of constituents on the ground, Caitlin, who
both first-hand and second-hand reports saying this stuff is happening. So they very clearly,
meaning the people on the ground dealing with this think that it is happening, and I think
that it's important for journalists takeaway from the story, but someone's cat went missing, so they called
their senator?
I mean, were they like, hmm, should I go right to the president of the United States?
Or should I start with my senator?
You gotta update those emergency numbers on your fridge, Barry, come on.
But perhaps, J. VD. Vance has a point.
If a story bubbles up from the right-wing sewer,
it is our obligation, nay, our duty in the mainstream media
to investigate it no matter the cost.
And that is exactly what we have done here at the Daily Show.
I sent Ronnie Chang undercover to Springfield to find out if illegal migrants are really gobbling
up our small town cats.
Let's go live to him now.
Ronnie, how is the investigation going?
Ronnie, how is the investigation going?
Well, Jordan, I'm in Ohio in a fucking cat costume, trying to get migrants to eat me, so
it's not great. Also, it's not working, okay? I even tenderized myself with a jerk rob
and went around saying, meow, I'm so tasty. Nothing.
Okay, yeah, well, obviously you're not going to fool anyone with a half-ass meow like that. You need to commit to tasty, nothing. Okay, yeah, well, obviously you're not gonna fool anyone with a half-ass meow like that.
You need to commit to the role, Ronnie.
Hey, hey, don't tell me how to commit, all right?
How many Marvel movies are you in?
Okay?
Trust me, okay?
Trust me, okay?
I've tried to try to reach your butt hole?
Yes, I'm trying to reach my butt hole, okay?
I can't.
It's impossible, which I already knew for reasons I don't want to discuss.
Okay.
Well, then what are we going to do about these allegations?
I don't know, Jordan. How about we ignore them. Good journalism doesn't mean we have to take every insane racist
conspiracy theory at face value, okay? Let's just shit on it and move on like I
did in a box earlier. Wow. Well you know what, you know what Ronnie, maybe you're
right. I appreciate you taking journalistic principles so seriously. You're really following in the
footsteps of Edward R. Meowro. Rodney, did you hear what I said? I said, Edward R.
I heard what you said, right?
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Wish you are dead.
All right.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, oh, oh, wait, oh, wait, wait, oh, wait,
oh, wait, someone's coming.
Oh, thi. getting off the car and they're coming for me. They're coming for me. Ronnie! Ronnie, are you there?
Ronnie, are you there?
Hello, Ronnie?
Yes, yes, I'm here.
Oh, thank God, okay.
What happened?
Were you, were you, were you kidnapped by a hungry immigrant?
No, no, no, I think I was adopted by a childless cat lady. Oh, thigh, you know what what, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, are thi, are tho, are thi, are thi, are th, are th, are, are, are, are, are, are, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are tho, are th. Are th. Are, are, are th. Are, are, are th. R. R. Ran, are th. Ran, are th. Ran, are th. Ran, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thin, are thin, are you thin, are thin, are thoan, are thoan, are you, are thoan, are thoan, are tho. Are tho. Are than. Roda. R tight. Ronnie, hang tight. We're sending someone to bring you back.
Oh, actually, you know what?
Hold off.
She's in the kitchen cooking me some organic chicken right now.
I want to see how this plays out.
Oh, awesome. I love these things.
Okay, have fun running.
Ronnie Chang, everyone.
Cool.
We come back.
We'll find we. We'll th. We'll come back, we'll find out how the city of Philadelphia is taking your money so
don't go away.
Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about the election, earnings
calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about
ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts
go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you
get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Last night's debate took place in Philadelphia, a critical city in the upcoming election.
But if you're a resident who plans to vote there, you might want to be careful where you park your car on the way to the voting booth.
Michael Costa has more.
City parking. It's a hell for those who choose to live in urban areas.
But in Philadelphia, the eating shit in public, Capitol of America, if you're not keeping up with parking rules, they'll move your car for you. Isn't that great? It's called courtesy towing, and Philadelphians love it.
My car was moved from a legal parking spot
to an illegal parking spot as what they call a courtesy toe.
I have a parking permit for the street parking.
And there was a temporary no parking sign put up within a couple days.
I have a parking permit. And I was a parking permit for the street parking and there was a temporary no parking sign put
up within a couple days and I was out of town.
So it was then towed to an illegal parking spot by the city and then it was towed down to the
PPA impound lot which is where we are and then moved to the auction lot because it was
about to be auctioned off.
So you parked in a legal spot with a legal permit?
Correct.
And eventually your car was in the impound lot.
Correct.
Did you park shitty?
Just be honest.
No?
Yeah, Gary.
I am a very legal parker.
Be very careful where you park your car.
You're going to get ticketed. Let me just side with big government for a second.
I hear a lot of people bitching about the tow truck man.
I've been towed once or twice.
But I know I parked it legally.
There's courtesy towing, which is up for weather, for events, and typically they're
supposed to put up no parking signs.
It happened less than 12 hours after I had parked there. When I
got back to my car it wasn't there. I'd called the PPA a couple times, not
helpful, finally just called the police, who then was able to tell me based on
your license plate it's at 15th in Washington. the 15th in Washington.
This is called a courtesy toe? Yeah, well There's my car and it's parked in the media, like in the turn lane.
Weird.
Yeah. See the four tickets on it.
Oh, there's four tickets on it.
They courtesy toed your car to a different location to an illegal spot.
And then you start to acquire tickets from that illegal spot. The one common factor in these stories? The PPA, or Philadelphia Parking Authority.
But why was this beloved governmental agency
courtesy towing its residents in the first place?
It's very profitable and everybody knows that.
I waited about an hour and a half to get in and then had to pay $964.
What? Yeah. They have a tow fee, the ticket fees,
and then the impound lot, the thladlot daily lot daily lot daily lot daily the ticket fees, and then the impound lot daily storage fee. And it's a
money-making machine. All right, how bad could a couple extra fines be, especially
since the PPA helps fund cash-trapped schools in Philly? Well it turns out they
haven't been honoring their agreement with the city with holding close to
78 million dollars because of alleged financial mismanagement.
The money is not going to the schools.
One group holding the parking authority accountable is the Payup PPA coalition.
I met with organizer Rochelle Nicole Solomon in one of Philadelphia's historic green
spaces.
The mission of Payup PPA is to have the Philadelphia parking Authority be accountable, be transparent,
and to have a specific amount of reoccurred funding
every year to the School District of Philadelphia.
So in Philadelphia, the parking authorities
left over revenue goes to the education system.
Yes, 45 million a year estimate to the school district of Philadelphia
from the on-street parking,
but the money is not going to the schools, which means one of two thiiiii thuuuuuu th th thi thi thi to to thi to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to have, and to have, and to have, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to be a the the the the the, the the the the, the the the the., the the the the the thean, the thean. thean. toean, toea. toea. toea. toeanan. to the school district of Philadelphia from the on-street parking, but the money is not going to the schools, which means one of two things and maybe both.
One, they were lying or two, that the leadership, both the director and the board, are grossly incompetent.
In your opinion, is getting ticketed or towed by the PPA a right of passage for Philadelphia residents? I don't the right of pass. I don't know know the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school. I toe, I toe, I the school. I the school. I toe. I toe. I toe. I the school is the school is the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. getting ticketed or toed by the PPA a right of passage for Philadelphia
residents?
I don't know about a right of passage, but probably everybody can check that off their list.
I mean, I've been toed, I hosh.
I mean, it's part of life.
There goes one right there.
That's one of our guys right now, getting a ticket as we speak. Good luck trying to fight that. Anyway, back to the interview.
What can Philadelphia's do to combat some of the corruption of the PPA other
than throw batteries or riot on Broad Street? I think there's some
roaming between those two things, right? I think they need to ask questions. Show up at the Parking Authority board meeting and say, pay up PPA.
It was time for the PPA to pay up.
So I did what any good citizen would.
I went into the PPA unsolicited with a camera and microphone.
How you doing? You probably know who I am, but I'm Michael Costa with the Daily Show
about the PPA's courtesy toe policy. So we're going to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have the the to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to somebody on camera about the PPA's courtesy toe policy?
So we're going to have to ask you to step back over.
Okay.
And we can't have this interview.
Okay.
So I'm being asked to leave?
Yep.
Okay.
toe'a'eat the towe to you but I got courtesy toad out of there. So there you have it
Philadelphians, the PPA is screwing you and your public schools over. The good
news is I'm a New Yorker. They don't have to give a shit about any of this.
Son of a bitch. What the fuck is this?
$1.75 bucks. Fock this city and fuck the fuck is this? $175.
Feek this city and
F-p-the-PPA.
Thank you, Michael.
When we come back, John Halliman will be joining me on the show.
Don't go away. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly
Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings
calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? What are they talking about
on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far
as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with
John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show.
My guest tonight is a best-selling author, Chief Political Columnist and Partner at Talk and Host
the Politic Podcast. Please welcome John Heilman. I knew there would be some Wu Tang apparel.
I knew there would be some Wu Tang apparel when you walked out here.
Well, after you sung the praises of Wu Tang at your Chicago Convention show.
You saw that. Yeah, of course I did. You talked about how that era, 191-95, four-bishop years in American history.
Well, after you sang the praises of Wu Tang at your, that Chicago Convention show.
You saw that.
Yeah, of course I did.
You talked about how that era, 1991, 1995,
four best years in American history, I agreed.
You agree, right?
I agreed.
I'm a little disappointed.
They promised me Desi t host of the Goddam Daily Show.
You will respect that.
And you should understand that all of the best groups have a lot of members.
ODB, Jizza, Rizza, Master Killer, Inspector Deck.
These are groups.
Plans, if you will.
I can't believe some of the ones you'll leave it out there, like meth, who's going to come over here, beat the shit out of you for that. But here's how you know that I actually knew it was you.
Okay. After all that discussion that we had on my podcast last week about the food of Chicago.
Yes, I was slumming it and I did. So you didn't come to Philly. No, I didn't. You know what they make in Philly? What do they make? Cheese steaks. Famously. There's
two of them, two famous cheese steak makers. Yes, I've been to one of them.
Which one? Geno's I think? Well, we got... Now these were purchased after them. their stakes, I thinks, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, their, th. thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, they're, they're, their, their, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's they's they's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Cha. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their. Cheese sticks, their, cheese sticks, their, their, their, the middle like about 3 a.m. It's Pats and Genos. Pats and Ginos right next to each other. Gino's Steaks, right?
Wait, you're bringing me old meat? Well, no, no, these were transported from
Philadelphia as if they were severed limbs, okay? Like on ice, very well, like just, it's really hygienic. Don't worry. It's gonna be great. But yeah, cold cheese whizzed is is is is is is is is is their. their. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. th. G. G. G. G. G. th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G't worry. It's going to be great. Cold cheese whiz, there's nothing better.
There's nothing better.
And this is Pat's King of Steaks.
Now, these places have been operating in Philadelphia for like 80 years.
They're a block away from each other.
And people will fight you in Philly over which one of these is better.
Yeah.
They're indistinguishable. one of these pieces of steak and covered in cheese with, which is you're supposed to do, and onions, you can't tell the difference.
You don't have to eat it now because I know how it's eating on the air is not cool, but
I wanted to make sure that you had an offering, an offering.
What do you think these people want to see, John?
This is the smartest, smartest audience.
Eat it.
We're going to fuck do it.
I tell you what, we're going to do it.
This is all going to live on the web now because this interview has already gone 17 minutes
into... Okay, so I'm starting with my genos. Okay, I'm going to try this and as I'm
trying this, I want you to encapsulate as if we are eating in Philadelphia, in Philadelphia, your experience last night at the debate, you, you, you thine thine th.... th. th. th. You thiiii, you thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you thi, I thi, I thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, I thi, I thi, you th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. to to to to to do it, I'm to do it, I'm to do it, I'm to do it, I'm to do it, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I.. I, I, I, I, I, I.. I, I, I. I th. I th. I, I th. I's, I's, I's, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thin, thin, th th th th to to th to th th th to to th to thin, let's th th th thin, let's thi, thi. I'm trying this I want you to encapsulate as if we are eating in
Philadelphia your experience last night at the debate in Philadelphia. First
things first. She kicked his ass.
Now I heard I heard John last night talking about how you know this is a matter of
opinion people will claim various things. Here's athe fundamental truth about campaigns. Both sides have either
directly under their auspices or in super PACs. They have they do these things
called dial groups. They get undecided voters in battleground states to watch
the debate in real time and they say you've seen these things with they crank the dial. They they they they they they they they they they they c c c c c c c c c c they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their th are thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they approve, they disapprove? And that's how they, that's all they're looking at, is what the dials are showing them. Later, they will look at polling, but on that night,
internally they're getting that essentially in real time based on the answer that they're having.
And at the end of the night, they know the end. The bring over onto their side. And they will know what worked, what are the things that worked best?
By the end of the night, if you know someone at a high level of the campaign, or either
campaign, or both campaign, says, I might.
You will know by the end of the night what the group said, what the dials said, what what the group said, what their, what their said, is is is is is is said, is said, is said, is said, is said, is said, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, their, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, they, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by................. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by, by the end. The end, by the, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, at the end, if the end, where the Harris campaign and the Trump campaign were in agreement. The dial said that she kicked his ass.
Really?
And the Trump campaign was aware of that because I don't know if you saw Donald Trump had
numbers.
I think one of them was 90, one of them was 74.
I think there was a pie squared in there.
Yeah.
Yeah. He had numbers. Trump is full of shit most of the time. And he makes up all kinds of things. But that was one of those things. It was the most made up thing on earth.
And of course, like the story about how
Elbride and America wanted Robuay to go away, which will come back to,
it was easily verifiable.
Because of course, all the networks were the nupperist.
the number of the networks, the n showed that Harris had won. And I'll tell you the other thing is that what she did best on
were all the abortion related questions.
All the stuff about women's reproductive rights.
Those were the things.
That stretch she had about two and a half minute answer
when she really started to come on strong in the debate.
And she got very emotional,
was very emotional, very emotional, very direct, very powerful. groups love that off that was off the charts even in the I mean in the drug with these are all undecided voters so they're essentially different
groups that that the campaigns are monitoring but they're all they're no
Trump fans in these groups and there's no Harris fans these are you know
essentially people who have it made up their mind they're they're undecided they're psychotic and sane people who I can't wrap their I their I% of people wanted to know more from Kamala Harris.
What did people actually learn about Kamala Harris?
Well, I'll tell you what, I think there's two ways to look at that, you know, when you think
about this from the Harris's kind of strategic standpoint.
One thing was, that was the New York Times' siena poll.
the to say thery to aim to do, tell your story more, try to explain some of your changes on positions, all that sort of stuff, right?
But if you look back to the history of presidential debates, the way that they are often remembered
as who won them and who lost them is on one metric and one metric alum, which
is like who commands the stage, who commanded the sphere of battle. And for a candidate who's in their first general election presidential debate, Bill Clinton and others would say, Americans are watching
to see whether they could imagine this person as the commander-in-chief. As
president of the United States, can they go to toe with an adversary in their
moment? Do they command the debate? Are they, is the image of command in people? So it's a plausibility test. And I just thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. the. the. their, their, there's no one with eyes in their head who didn't think that Kamla Harris
was the one who commanded the stage last night.
And that's why, between the dial groups
and just a plain obvious thing that Trump
as maniacal, irrational, mentally, psychologically, failing, as he is at this moment, she was, you know, was she perfect? No, but she
was strong, right? And I think that she came across as strong and she decided to
play that prosecutor role and she played it really well. She was incredibly, you
said, well prepared. And she kept coming back to her themes that she wanted
to hit. And I just, I mean mean I can't as a debate quad debate which is
not how are people gonna vote eight weeks from now is what the election day
is yeah these people are still undecided. Most of the people are not
waking up today going okay I've decided. Well she looked she looked she'd.
She looked she looked presidential. Yes and as you said in off camera I think to the. In these fine people out here you know she're dealing with a lunatic. You're dealing with a pathologically lying,
insurrection, fomenting, democracy degrading, defiling, asshole.
And so...
Allegedly.
So you're... So it's a tough... Like, imagine how, like what that, you know, I have a challenge involved in doing that and holding your composure and I'll say,
you know, because no one did this better than John did on the night of the first debate.
I get it, you like John Stewart.
Well,
F. Hey, he did look, you are, he's like your comedy hero.
I like John Stewart as well, okay, yes. But he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He's he's he's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. th okay, yes. But he put up those pictures of
Biden slack-jawed. It was a four-box. And he's like, when they did the debate
prep, did nobody show him these pictures? Because these don't look great. She was
so aware of the split screen and how the split screen would work that I feel like
it was like a bizarre world Biden debate a lot of ways last night, right? Because Trump, the split screen that that with Harris was doing to Trump what the split screen with Biden did to
Biden, right? Biden suffered in that split screen with Trump and Trump
suffers in that split screen with her. He looked angry almost throughout.
He didn't without the sound on. I don't disagree and I do think I think
Kamala looked more than a depth. She did look presidential.
I think she was was masterful in many ways of both seeming above the fray, but also poking
him as well.
Yes.
But this audience is different.
I think people don't see Donald Trump for the first time as a diminished man.
He looked angry.
He looked angry but angrier has been something that he's been selling the American public and there's that 45% who love that.
Do you actually think that that diminished?
I don't think you're going to take away Trump voters from Trump.
You know, I think what you're, what she's trying to get across, I think now is that he is not just
the old candidate in the race now, the generational contrast. She wants to be to be wants to be younger, and she is in some
ways implicitly pushing like the the argument that took down Biden, which is
that I mean Donald Trump's mental acuity, I say this not in a in a just a
trashing him kind of way, which I'm happy to do sometimes. But I think I think
about a minute and a half ago. But he's just, he's getting worse. I mean, he's never been wholly linear.
Let's put it that way, right?
But if you go back to 2016 when he really won the election against Clinton,
in those last 10 or 12 days of the election,
they managed to get him to talk about trade, the border wall, China,
and he was actually a pretty disciplined candidate for the crucial 10 or 12 days of the election. Now, there are a lot of Republicans who look at, well, she has this momentum.
What's going to change between now an election day
that will halt her momentum?
One thing is like some external event.
You know, Vladimir Putin does something,
China does something, some kind of cyber war,
a Russian invasion that someone has to repel on the White House lawn.
Another is Harris fucked up. She messes up somehow.
She didn't do that last night, right?
We will all agree about that.
And the third thing, which Republicans all are hoping for and praying for,
and then what they've been try to beg Trump to do is be a disciplined, focused,
rigorous, consistent candidate.
Make these argument,'s what we're begging him to do it with this idea in mind that he can pull it together in these last eight weeks and become this thing that occasionally he was in the past.
I just think if you watch that debate last night, there's none of that there. There's none of that there.
When he started talking about the dogs and cats and about immigration. Was it, yeah. Now in the Biden debate, go back to my bizarro world thing, the
Biden debate rightly, Biden got a question about abortion, his strength and turned
it into an immigration question. And that's when you knew he'd really lost it. Yeah.
What are you doing? You're talking about immigration? They set you up? They put it on the tee, abortion, the the the the tob abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion abortion, tob abortion, the ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab- they they they they they they their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, their, their, right, right, their, right, right, their, right, right, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right, right. Right, right. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, they. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Right, they. Right, right. Right, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Trump got asked about immigration. He's the issue he wants to talk about. That's a sweet spot. But Harris had baited
him on the crowd-sized thing. He turned away from immigration and then proceeded
to discuss the size of his crowds, World War III was coming, the size of his
crowds again, and then the apparent obviously completely made up a holocaust of the cats, dogs and pets in Ohio. Bear in mind that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that the the the that th. the th. the th. the thiiiiiiiress thiress thiress thiress th. But thiress th. But th. th. thi is thi is th. th. But th. th. But th. th. th. th. th. th. Harris is th. Harris has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the, dogs, and pets in Ohio.
Bear in mind that in the last hundred years and occupants the White House, every single
one of them has had a pet, except Donald Trump, because he's a sociopath.
Maybe he doesn't like to snack at night.
He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, the guy cares less about dogs and cats than
any occupant the white house ever. And that includes like other bookified sociopaths. Well, it is such an example too.
You give Donald Trump enough time.
He's not prep for anything.
He's always grasping at straws.
And frankly, he's only got a handful of straws, right?
He's got his immigration, his wall.
He's got a couple things he's gonna bang internet to life. And you saw when he arrived in Philly, Laura Lumer,
who's like literally the craziest person on the right.
Crazier than anybody in the history of the right.
That's a hell of a crown to wear.
I gotta tell you.
When she got off the plane, you knew.
You're like, he's going to bethe question of can he be a discipline candidate. What's the other thing he was supposed to do last night?
Tie Kamla Harris to Joe Biden's economic record.
The first time he mentioned it was to say, the first time he mentioned it was to say, she is
Joe Biden.
And again, it's back to the split screen, Calla Harris like, I don't really think I'm Joe Biden. She is Joe Biden. And again, it's back to the split screen.
Call Harris like, I don't really think I'm Joe Biden.
No?
I mean, can people see that I'm not Joe Biden?
He did it.
He finally decided to do what he did so badly
that she could just like knock it away with a laugh.
Yeah.
Well, she got to ask totally. And you heard J.D. Vance afterwards in the spin room where I was talking about how, you know, Trump made these points in his closing statement.
I'm like, ha ha.
Now, that's a strong candidate.
The one who remembers, hey, it's my closing statement.
I might want to say that thing about Biden, you know, and that the end. Do people around, I guess, the today, I thrown question, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thrownownownk, the, the, throwne, throwne, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, throwne, the, thr, thr, thr, throwne, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. tho, tho, they. they. they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th.. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tha. tha. thr. thr. that way? And two, did they have a sense of what truly is happening?
I hear the moment where Donald Trump comes out
and he has those bullshit numbers.
And of course, he's always pulling out numbers
that make the most sense to him.
But are they giving him numbers that make him comfortable in that moment?
What is their awareness?
The Trump circle, their awareness of what is happening? It's not a monolith, right? You know, Trump has now brought Corey Lewandowski back into the fold.
Corey Lundowski is the ultimate, Let Trump be Trump, Canada.
Corrie was exiled.
Now he's back.
His job is to do things that make Trump happy so that he will not be exiled again.
The professionals in that group, people like Chris Lasavita, the campaign manager, and Susie Wiles, the co-campaign manager. You would say whatever you want, about them and their values
or whatever in working for Trump.
But they're professional people who've run important campaigns before.
And they are the ones begging Donald Trump to please
talk about how she's a San Francisco liberal.
Talk about how she's a flip-flopper.
Talk about how she's a flapor. to to how she's to how she's to to how she's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to being against them. And they are, I think, constantly, must live in hope, because if they don't live in the
hope that they can change them in some way, you know, the world is very cold and dark.
If you think that this Donald Trump is going to be the Donald Trump you're going to get
for the country
looks and says, if this guy ran a standard Republican campaign
against her, there's a playbook.
And he would appreciably increase his odds of winning,
if he were to be able to remotely execute that.
And we have no sign that he can. There's also the thing you were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the...... the. the, the. the, th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, th. th also the thing you were talking about this a little bit before, you know, I've been in a lot of spin rooms in my life, you know.
Yeah, and I'm very impressed.
Pretty cool room to be in.
And you get to hang out with a scaremuchy now and then.
Yeah.
You get to be with the mooch.
Here's the where it happens? I'm like, no, the press is never in the room where it happens. We don't sit in the debate hall. We sit in a room
next to the room where it happens and we all get to sit together in a giant
room watching it on TV. But this just like you at home and the only advantage is
that when it's over, a bunch of professional li show. It feels like Trump thinks that is the room where it happens.
He doesn't prep for a debate to articulate a vision of the future to America.
He preps for a time to lick his wounds and bullshit the press with more cameras.
That's where all his energy goes.
You got the show.
Totally.
People shouldn't be performing for you, that's a nightmare. 100%. People should be, Trump should be performing for the people at home, but he doesn't see it
that way.
You know, I think I may have told you the story for a little while in 2015, 2016.
Don't tell me, don't retell me a story.
For God's saks.
Well, these people I think Donald Trump has a chance to win. And I saw him at a face-to-face interview with him the
next day and he said, and after he had tweeted, at Jay Hall is finally starting
to understand me. And I went and did this interview with him and I said, you know, I
thought you might be pissed and he was like, you were on the side of people who took him seriously, he didn't care why.
You could have said, the whole country is now members of the Ku Klux Klan.
Donald Trump's gonna shoe in.
He would be like, thank you for understanding.
He didn't care.
He didn't want to be.
He didn't want to understand me.
We're both German.
And that always freaked me out.
Because I'm not like really German.
They're like in any meaningful way, you know?
And I mean, the name is I have a German descent.
But I'm not like I didn't grow something in it. Yes, it was always like a lot of like, he's always like, you know, yeah, I like, yeah,
you know, you're starting to come around on try.
Is it the haircut?
Yeah, I, I, the meaner I was the more he liked me until, uh, until he then got an office
and my Secret Service code game became that mother f-a- that's a, there, there you know, there, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is a, is, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is.. is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. The, is, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Is. The, theell you what you can see in the spin room last night though is that it's not hard to know the things that you find out
from your sources about how the dial groups went. Yeah. It's not hard to read
the skinniest,
most inselly-looking guy in the world who was carrying their little sad sign out in the spin-room
because they have a little person who carries a sign.
If you were in the spin-room, they would carry a little sign that would say,
Clepper on it, you know?
Or if they wanted to get some attention, it would say, Stuart. Okay, they got, damn it.
And that'd be a boy.
Or Desi, or Desi, I'm gonna, okay, you know what, I'm gonna get it into.
Or wood, or wood?
What?
Yeah, there there, there's a hard wax.
Yeah, there there, there's a hard.
George, Jordan's having a hard time with that with that wax there. It's a hard wax. It's a hard wax. It's a hard.
Can I have you been have you been skimping on the gym sessions lately?
This is I'm waiting till after the election. You know, uh, this is this will be good later. Yeah.
But this picture. this picture. No, I'm not going to say. Look this. It's this is this, it's tough. God, is there no one around here?
This is the ride though, the bourbon's much easier.
Is there no one around you who can help us here?
That's, that's really what waxed on.
Is it?
It's like Miyagi, Gates, Miller and this little skinny kid, right?
They look so sad.
And you know, I saw the various response tweets people would say, you know, an in-sell, a
neo-nazia and a pedophile walk into a bar.
Matt.
That's the way a lot of great jokes start. And Matt Gates was wearing these white like sketchers with like
like black jogging pants for his suit bottoms then a suit jacket on top I mean
he looked like he was ready for Delpoca Vista basically at his age I mean
honestly I think that's a step forward if he's trying to appeal to the
older folks I think you know I'll take it with Matt Gates but I'll tell you when I looked at that I was thinned I to the the to to to the to the told. the I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the the told. told I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm told I'm told. I'm I'm told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm I'm told I'm told I'll I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. I I I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. that, I was thinking about, you know, what I had thought is I heard about the dial groups from the insiders of the campaign.
I thought, you know, David Pluff, David Binder, the focus group pulling impresara from Obama
who's now working for Harris, they are not like champagne popping types, you know, they're like, they like try to keep, but they were metaphorically popping, they're like, they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the.. the. the. the. the. David, the. David, the. David, the. David, the. David, the. David, the. David, the. David, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like at how well their hand it did. In the Trump world, they were popping either like malox or clodipin.
I don't know which, but they were not, they were,
and when those guys showed up, and I looked at them,
I was like, those guys are either very, very, very sad, very drugged up,
or someone killed their pets.
They looked like a bunch of guys who had their cats and dogs like taken out by some imaginary
Haitians in Ohio.
Yeah, take it from the sad man in the sketchers.
I think that's how the debate went.
Be sure to check out John's column at puck and its podcast with John Holloman.
I want to take a quick break right back after this. Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show, it's going to be coming out
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So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday.
Thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about.
All the things that hopefully
obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient
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I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
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is it. Okay Michael Steele you were quite animated when I saw you in the hallway earlier about
that debate.
I'm trying to be good.
I'm going to see what you're going to tell me.
You think of the debate that you told me in the hallway.
What was your take on the debate, Michael?
Still, go ahead.
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