The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump’s Assassination Paranoia | JB Smoove
Episode Date: May 23, 2024Michael Kosta reports on a new poll from "The Guardian," showing that Americans believe the economy is shrinking, the stock market is down, and unemployment is at a 50-year-high. Also, RJK Jr. issues ...an appeal to amateur traders on Reddit, and Trump claims that Joe Biden tried to assassinate him during the Mar-a-Lago raid two years ago. Thankfully, Josh Johnson joins to explain what’s really going on behind the scenes at Biden HQ. Then, Troy Iwata meets Biden's (only?) superfan and gets his advice for pumping up Biden supporters, and maybe pumping up Biden, himself. And comedian/actor, JB Smoove, talks about the final season of the hit series “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” They discuss the differences between him and his character, Leon Black, making Larry David laugh, and how stand-up comedians are like therapists.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news.
My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're going to be talking about the election,
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You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Center, it's America's only source for news.
This is the Daily Show. My God, I'm Michael Costa. We have so much to talk about. Joe Biden has a new fan. Donald Trump is afraid for his life and RFK Jr. is reaching out to only people weirder than he is, so let's get into all of it with
our continuing coverage of Indecision 2024.
Let's kick things off with polls.
There's a new one every 15 minutes, even though none of us have ever met a single person
who's participated in one. But whatever, someone's doing them.
But a new poll was out today that reminds us that no matter how dumb our leaders are, we
the people are even dumber.
The Guardian did like a commissioned Harris poll for Americans and how they feel about
the economy. 55% say the economy is shrinking. 56% say the economy is in recession, which we know on
CNBC is not the case. 49% believe the S&P is down for the year, which seems incredible.
Which it's up about 13% and 23% last year. 49% also say unemployment is at a 50 year high.
In fact, unemployment is at a 50 year low low, or near there, under 4%.
Right, all right.
So just to summarize, we think the economy is shrinking when it's actually growing,
that the stock market is down when it's actually up, and that unemployment is at a 50-year
high when it's actually near a 50-year low. But we do know that Benifer's on the rock, so we're not
completely pathetic. I mean, it might just be me, but maybe as a society we
shouldn't have replaced newspapers with dudes ranting in cars. I don't know.
And look, in a way, I get it. People don't judge the economy based on data.
They're like, you say the GDP is up, but I say I used
to be on my cousin's Netflix account and now I have to get my own. So yeah, Jerome Powell,
we're in a recession, okay? But you have to remember, yeah. These are not surveys
of Americans, these are surveys of Americans who are willing to talk to a stranger who
cold calls them in the middle of a work day.
What I'm saying is these people are not normal.
I mean, I ignore phone calls from my own mother.
That's normal.
You get it. Sometimes I'll get three, four, five calls in a row, you know?
There's a bunch of texts, like the car's filling up with water.
I don't have time for this, mom. I'll see you at Thanksgiving.
That's normal.
Either way, clearly Joe Biden needs
to do a better job of getting word out
about the healthy economy.
Maybe he needs a hype man.
Right, you know how like notorious BIG had P. Didditty could do it.
What's he up to? What? What? Is he... I guess he's not available right now.
Okay.
While Biden has his work cut out for him trying to win over people who aren't fully informed
about the stock market, one of his rivals is going after a much smaller group of people
who are obsessed with it.
U.S. presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is now trying to appeal to amateur
traders on Reddit, who call themselves
apes and intentionally invest in distressed companies like GameStop.
The politician is going on to say that he personally invested $24,000 in GameStop.
The tweet accompanied by this bizarre new campaign poster showing Kennedy and an actual
ape, each holding what appears to be a Falcon.
Wait, wait, forget Game Stop, but why does this picture look like he's
on a honeymoon with that falcon?
Are they in love?
Or is the falcon just trying to get a better angle
on that worm in his brain?
Now, you might think it's weird for RFK Jr.
to be going after this tiny little specific group. But don't forget, America is just a bunched t thine thine thine thine thine thine th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin' th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. to th. thi. to thi. to to thi. to to t. to t. ti. to ti. to to ti. to to toe toe to toe toe toe ti. ti. ti. ti. ti is just a bunch of tiny little specific groups. First, he gets the Reddit apes, then he gets the furries, then the trad wives,
cottage court, Tick Tock, Disney adults, JetBlue frequent flyers with mosaic, elite status.
And the next thing you know, it's January and he's giving his State of the Union from Burning Man.
Let's move on to Republican candidate Donald Trump.
Recently he took over the National Committee,
recently he took over the Republican National Committee
committee, and today someone sent him a housewarming gift.
We begin with breaking news from the Republican National Committee headquarters
in Washington, D.C. It was placed on a lockdown this morning,
after vials of blood were set to the building according
to multiple sources.
We've learned that package was addressed to former President Donald Trump and it contained
two vials of blood.
What the fuck is going on here?
Someone sent blood to the RNC?
I guess it could just be Rudy Giuliani's lunch order.
I mean... But even so, why is anyone sending blood through the mail?
It's 2024, people fax it.
But seriously, don't send blood to the RNC.
That's reckless. Now you're going to end up on their mailing list.
But you can see why Donald Trump might be freaked out by this, because as you may have heard,
someone is trying to assassinate him.
Donald Trump is now claiming that the FBI raid on Maralago two years ago was actually
Joe Biden's attempt to assassinate him.
He pointed to wording in the search warrant that allowed the FBI to use lethal force if necessary, which the FBI says is standard protocol in any search.
But in a fundraising email to supporters, Trump wrote, they were authorized to shoot me,
and you know, they're just itching to do the unthinkable.
Joe Biden was locked and loaded, ready to take me out.
Holy shit, locked and loaded?
Ready to take me out?
I've never heard Joe Biden sound so fucking cool in my life.
I always thought of him as a daughtering old man.
Yeah.
I always thought of Biden as a daughtering old man,
but Donald Trump makes them look like one of the expendables.
The rest of you, the rest of you take what you want, believe the orange man to me.
Can you tape wheel of fortune? This might take a little while.
Now personally, I think it would be very difficult to assassinate Donald Trump,
mostly because he would never get that close to a book depository.
But regardless, I don't think Trump actually fears getting assassinated by Joe Biden.
And the reason is because he announced it in a fundraising email.
If you're dodging bullets, you don't stop to wave your Venmo QR code.
You know, please, somebody send money.
For more on this so-called assassination conspiracy, we go live to Josh Johnson. Josh. Josh. Josh, what's the latest?
Hi, Michael.
I'm at Joe Biden's campaign head-course.
the too-Biden's campaign headquires in the Donald Trump assassination room.
Hmm.
And the mood here is frustrated.
Wait.
Wait. Wait, Joe Biden actually is trying to assassinate Donald Trump?
Oh, of course. Trump is 100% correct, all right?
Biden's been trying to take him out for years.
Okay? The entire FBI raid was their best chance.
They were going to roll in a Marilago,
corner Trump in his office, surround him like scarface, and then be like, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, and
then Secret Service was going to be like, skew, skew, skew, skew, skew, and then tru was
gonna be lit up like, blit, blit, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, b-miss.
Mission accomplished.
I don't, I don't, I don't think that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's how guns sound.
That's because you're now from the streets, okay?
Okay, fine, but if they were trying to assassinate Trump, why would they raid his house on a day
that he wasn't even there?
Look, they're trying to find Trump.
But the guy's like the win. When was the last time you saw him?
I saw him yesterday. He's been at the New York courthouse every day for two months.
And when he's not there, he's at a rally that he promotes on his website.
Damn, how'd you know that?
You should join the team.
You could stand right next to me, hit him I'm positive that's not how guns sound.
Wow, suburban white boy gonna tell me about guns, okay.
All right.
All right, oh, you're gonna laugh at that.
Like you ever caught a body, Costa.
Hold on, hold on. Let's get back to the story.
This is huge news.
Is Biden still trying to take Trump out?
Oh, yeah.
Everything in Donald Trump's life is a Joe Biden plot against him.
Even the poison?
Poison?
Yeah.
What do you think KFC is?
You think that's just a business? No, no. It's a 77-year-long plan to clog up Trump's arteries, all right?
And that's not all.
Did you ever notice that Trump has been aging one day,
every single day, that Biden's been president?
You think that just happens to people?
Wake up, Michael.
It's a secret plot to kill Trump with natural causes.
This is diabolical. I mean, isn't that just just just just just just just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just that just just just just just that just just just just just that just just just just just just just that just just just just just just just just that just that just that just that just that just that just thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just just just just just just th. that that true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. tr causes. This is diabolical. I mean, isn't that just how time works?
Why would Biden do something that complicated?
Trump said a president has total immunity to take out his rivals.
Why can't Biden just use a drone?
Ooh, drones.
Costa, you smart.
You sure you don't want to be on the assassination team? Because the drones will be coming down like, cuckoo! Coo coo!
Proo!
Drones don't sound like birds.
I know that.
Then why are they in the sky?
Okay?
Country Club Costa is going to tell me a man from the streets
what a military-grade predator drone sounds like.
It's not important.
Look, Biden is wasting so much time trying to take out Trump. He's going to end up losing the election to him.
Exactly.
And the stress of that job will kill Trump for sure.
But no, but Trump was already president and he's fine.
Yeah, for one term.
But give him three or four more terms and he's done for it.
Okay? And that's the bideen brown brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brainthe Biden brain, baby. Wow, it's the perfect plot. Josh Johnson, everyone, I mean, when we come back,
we actually find some fans of Joe Biden.
Don't go away.
That's the point.
That's the point.
That's the tel you.
The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday.
Hey everybody.
thi to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly
Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings
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Welcome back to the Daily Show.
There's plenty of endangered species out there, but in American politics, there's one species
more endangered than most.
Troyawada has more. There's plenty of endangered species out there, but in American politics, there's one species
more endangered than most.
Troyawada has more.
In this election, Republicans have their rider die candidate, who they want to be president
forever.
And Democrats, they also have a guy.
So the best way to get something done, if you, if you hold near and dear to you that you, uh,
like to be able to anyway.
Four more years.
Joe Biden has an enthusiasm problem.
The polling shows that Democrats are not enthused.
Joe Biden, Democrats are not excited.
But maybe we in the media are out of touch.
I hit the streets to ask, what do voters really think of Joe Biden?
Not the most excited?
I wish I was more excited. I mean, it's okay.
I wish I was more excited.
On a scale of 1 to 10, probably somewhere around a 2 or 3.
How would you compare that to, say,
seeing some really beautiful latte art?
I would put that maybe as a five.
Could you point on this graph,
how you feel about voting for Joe Biden?
Okay, some pain. But if you couldn't tell by the stick and poke tattoos
and Warby Parker glasses, these people were all Democrats.
There must be something they like about Joe Biden.
He's big ice cream guy.
Can't vote against that.
What do you think his favorite flavor is?
Vanilla 100%.
Oh my God.
It's got to be Super Mid. You know, he's our president. He's our president. Yeah. Slap that on a t-shirt.
I love it.
I expect him to kind of behave like a president, as opposed to like a child.
He definitely is not a child.
But then I found one person whose passion whelmed me.
On a scale of one to ten, how excited are you about voting for Joe Biden?
11.
Oh my god.
Is this Joe Biden or is this like a famous Corgy on Instagram named Joe Biden that I'm
not aware of?
Joseph Robinette Biden.
I didn't even know that was this full name.
Junior.
Oh my god, there's an older one?
Wow, who was this guy?
Against my better judgment, I follow It's a cardboard cutout.
Before I get in your car, I have to ask,
this isn't a sex thing, right?
It is not.
Okay, good, yeah.
I didn't think so.
Oh, oh my god, you have Kamla too.
Do you have the whole cabinet in there?
Where's your cutout of acting labor secretary, Julie?
Julie?
Meet Dakota Galbin, J J's biggest and only superfan.
Could he hold the key to helping Biden defeat Donald Trump and his MAGA army?
Trump has this huge fan club of tens of thousands of really intense weirdos and Biden has you.
Why do you think that is?
There's sort of like a cult mentality going on there.
I think they have an unnatural devotion to a single person.
Right, a cult-like devotion to one man.
Am I right?
Let's talk about the cardboard cutout.
Why do you keep him in your trunk?
Don't you want to just see him in the morning and say, what's up Joe? Well, my boyfriend thion thion thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoomomom, thoom-a, thoom-a, tho-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thi. thi. thi. thi,'s up, Joe? Well, my boyfriend isn't his. He's less enthusiastic about it.
Having him watch us at all times.
Oh my God.
You have a boyfriend?
I do.
OK, setting aside the question of whether the boyfriend
was also a cardboard cutout.
When did Dakota first realize he was Biden curious?
I was a senior in high school in 2012, and I had just come out of the closet and Joe Biden
had announced his support for marriage equality and you thought to yourself
he's a little young right now to be president but maybe in eight years he'll
be ready at the time not so much but this man literally came out of retirement
to save our country from white supremacists and fascism so you like him more
now than when he was just Obama's white friend?
Absolutely.
Oh.
That's a strong endorsement at a time when Joe Biden is so unpopular that somehow hating
him is un-haiating pro-Israel and pro-Palestine protesters.
So what does Dakota see in this guy?
His swag, his whispery voice, what's left of his hair.
Mostly his policies.
There's so many to choose from.
Really?
Wow, see, I can't even think of any, so go off.
I would think when he came into office, he immediately got to work with the American Rescue
Plan.
He followed it up with the bipartisan infrastructure act, the chips and Science Act. The Chips and Salsa? Oh, you know, maybe we need to make policy more, but I think you're right.
There was his 80th birthday when he had all the candles on his cake. Yeah, I guess
we can have fun with glaring reminders of his age.
Turns out the things they get Dakota excited are different from other voters.
What did he think their problem was? Well, he is an older, straight white gentleman, and in democratic. But, but, but, but, but, but, that's that's that's cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir cir ci ci ci. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thithink their problem was? Well, he is an older, straight, white gentleman,
and in democratic circles.
That's usually not what gets us excited.
You know, I don't think there's anything we can do about his oldness or his whiteness,
but do you think he would consider exploring his sexuality?
Oh, gosh. Sure.
Joe Biden tumbler fan fiction aside.
Could Dakota get Democrats fired up about Biden?
Ooh, not like that.
I'm going to pretend to be someone who's not overly enthused to vote for Joe Biden and
I want you to convince me, all right?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm ready.
Do you love living in a democracy?
Yes.
Oh my gosh, I've got the perfect candidate for you to vote for the to vote for the to-saauolol Joe Biden. Oh. Well you know it's a vote for
normalcy, insanity, and you know keeping the institutions that have built our constitutional
republic for centuries. Keeping things the same as they are now. With minor improvements.
I mean I guess one thing that's good about Biden is he doesn't have the baggage, you know
say that Hillary has.
You know, I love Hillary.
Come on!
Maybe I've been focusing on the wrong thing.
Maybe it isn't the voters that need the pep talk.
It's Joe Biden.
And Dakota has some advice that will shake the political landscape forever. I would say, keep doing what you're doing, but do it better better tha tha tha tha thiiiiiiii. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I' thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thoom. I'm say keep doing what you're doing, but do it better? Yeah.
Way to pump them up. Well, there's always 2028. Seriously, can I please sit in the front?
No, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Troy. When we come back, J.B. Smoole be joining you on the show, The Weekly Show, coming
out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election. Earnings calls. What are
they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread
ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
Welcome back to the very show.
My guest tonight is an Emmy-winning actor and comedian who plays Leon Black on Curb
your enthusiasm. Please welcome J.B. Smooth.
Oh.
Oh shit. Oh, that's great. Oh my gosh, right?
Hey, hey man.
Yeah, yeah.
Just dive right in, baby.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah.
No true or words have ever been spoken, man.
Then that.
Yeah.
You invent that car.
Right.
You will be assassinated.
Yeah.
You know how you were ruined.
thi. You were ruined, big oil? What? Right.
You were out of here.
What I liked about that clip was the dick hole for the car.
You still had to get out and walk to it.
No, I was thinking you would get out and walk to it.
What's that supposed to mean?
What's that?
Hey, whatever. You set that? Hey, whatever.
Hey, you set that up perfect, man.
I set you up perfect.
Everybody, everybody.
So was that in the script, Dick in the hole and the coffee, or is that just J-B doing
like just chick-chick-chick-a-dick-dick-dick-hick-dick-hick-h-k-dick-h-hick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-d, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-k, dick-hick-hick, dick-k, dick-k, dick-h. only an outline based on the idea for the for the episode. Yeah. But that
changes also based on where you go. There's like branches. It's branches
everywhere. Right. A fork in the road. You got to choose which way you want to go.
It's fun in particular to watch you because everyone's playing a little bit of an
exaggerated version themselves but it seems like you're playing a completely different character. Is that is that a fair assessment? You know what I have to say, I, I, I, I, I, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say, I have to say're playing a completely different character. Is that a fair assessment?
You know what, I have to say what Leon would say.
Right.
You know?
And it's one of those things where I get caught up in this guy's world.
Right.
Right.
Right.
theyrowne thinks. I'm not myself. Right. I'm a compassionate, heartwarming guy.
Right.
Of course, we share some cadence maybe, little things here.
Yeah.
Delivery and stuff like that.
He swears a lot.
Oh, this dude swears a lot.
And you haven't even sworn yet.
Right, right.
Right, right.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
the tree. You know, one time, you know, I was driving home from set. Okay. I called my wife, I always called and she says, how is your day?
You know, my day was great.
Well, she says all the time, what did Leon say today?
Right.
What did Leon say?
Because, but that's, that's what's what's the curb is, man.
Yeah, it's a wonderful wife. I mean, I call my wife in the way home and she's like,
here's what needs to happen tonight.
Woo.
We got lunches to make, we got this, and I love that.
That's great.
You give you a full update on what went down today.
When people meet you, do they want J.B.
Do they call me JV2. It depends who they are, you know, but I got a lot of Leon.
You see that as a compliment.
I'll be that it's a compliment.
You know, I always say life is like a series of checkpoints.
I like that.
You find out what they love about you in the moment.
You know, and maybe some other amazing character will pop up.
I mean, you debuted in curb in season six.
Yeah, man.
It's 17 years later, you're here talking to me about it.
Isn't it crazy?
Did that ever cross your mind?
I was, I was two years old when you debuted on curb.
That can't be true. But, I mean, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm th. Yeah, I mean, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. Yeah, I, I, I, I th. Yeah, I, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. curb. That can't be true.
No, but I mean, you know this business.
You don't get a job thinking I'll be doing this for 17 more.
No, what, sometimes you get a job and you don't even know if you are gonna be on the
next season.
Yo.
So I truly, I feel, I mean, it's not even a joke. It's not a joke. It's real, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's a joke, it's not. th. that, it's a joke, it's a joke, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. You. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You. th. th. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You sometimes you got to take a job, you got
to take a friend, you got to take somebody's lady. Sometimes you got to take stuff. I get it.
But that's how you get there and you do a great job and you just be in the moment. Yeah.
And you do exactly what they're, you know, but there is,
I mean, there are turns of the screw
that you gotta figure out what's a character.
Yeah.
Like on curb, I decide in the moment,
I decide in the moment, you know to have Larry's back or go against
him.
Which is a fascinating way.
I try to find out what's going to be the best path.
Right.
What the, what am I going to get the most funny out of?
Right.
Having his back or fighting with him.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Good fight. But there's also takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes the takes. Good takes. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. I. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I'm. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I was, to. I was, I'm, I'm, I'm to. I'm to. Or is just J.B. always a crap? That all that works.
All that works.
Oh my shit works.
But I mean, because it is fun watching,
because you see Larry sometimes crack,
or you can see in his eyes, he goes,
I don't know what's happening to this.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. stand-up part comes in. I'm just going to ask you about stand-up. That's what it comes in there because we, we, as stand-ups, we, we have to be able to read
people.
Yeah.
I could be in a room full of 2,000 people in the audience.
I'm going to find that one f-finding who's not laughing.
I know, right?
He's like, yeah. But I think, and you don't think, oh, I make it 1,900 people laugh. You think, what's wrong with this mother's
right here?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's what I do.
That's why, that's, that's, um, that's what I do.
That's what we do.
And not just improv people.
And stand up comed.
We can feel your energy.
It's true.
We, we feel it.
We know when to move on to the next bit.
Yeah.
The decibels on our ear goes up and comes back down to a certain level
and we know to move on.
Yeah.
Now we got a little opening for the next bit. I love it. But we got to read people. I to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read him. I to read him. I to read him. I to read him. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to totrying to honestly make a snot bubble come out his nose. But also, and you do, you do.
You do.
You make somebody laugh and then make a snobubble come out?
That's the ultimate.
But what's interesting about that too is he's also your boss.
He's my boss. So you gotta think about that too. But you gotta keep people on your toe, man. Yeah. Because, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. And, th. And, th. And, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the. And, and the. And, and the. And, and the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. to. th. the. the. th. And, the. And, the. He's my boss. So you gotta think about that too. But you gotta keep people on their toes too, man.
Yeah.
Because, look man.
Yeah.
Debs are, like you said, I came on the season six.
Yeah.
This train was already moving.
Yeah. Have you jumped on a moving subway train?
I have not, no. No. No. She's daring and fascinating. It's fascinating.
And depth-defying.
It's deftifying.
Right.
But because you're almost late for work.
Number one, you're already, you're late for work.
Right.
And you jump between cars and say, I gotta be at work at a certain time.
I'm getting fired.
But anyway, I don't recommend you doing that. The train was already moving. But. But, but, but, but, I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the thrain is the train, you're train, you're the the train, you're train is train is threathea, you're their, you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their, you're their you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their. their. their their. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's is thi. I's is thi. I's train was train was train was train was train was train was train was train was train was train was train was late. train was late. train was late. train was late. train was late. train was late. train was train was train was train was train was train was already moving. So I had to sit there and figure out, jump on the train that's already moving, that's
already an amazing successful show.
You know, I was a big fan of the show and my wife manifested me being on the show.
I read that.
I told me I was going to be on the show one day.
Right, right.
I see, you're going to be on that show one day. I love that. And lo and behold, that sweet lady. 17 years later. Some of the lady man, she told me I was gonna be on that show.
But yeah, I go even back further. The first thing I ever did was I took an
improv class before I even started doing stand-up. Because I wanted to find out who I wanted to be on that stage and off-task. Because you want to find out to to to be who I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I want to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on that that that to be on that that that that that the the the to be on the to be on the to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be on to be off that stage. Because once you create your character, you're writing off stage, which also writing on stage.
Because now you're listening to what people love about you.
I mean, I've read that you have said stand-up has been a vehicle for you.
That you get on it, you get off it, you take it somewhere.
And that fascinates me because there's definitely a compulsion of stand-ups that like I always do stand-up, I'm a stand-up, I'm a stand-up.
But explain to me, elaborate what you mean by stand-up as a vehicle for you.
Stan-up is your vehicle because you gotta take care of it.
You gotta maintain it. You gotta love to drive it. Oh, I like that. You gotta love to drive it, man. That's your vehicle to get to any place you want to get to.
Stand up comics also take the drama of the world and we convert that drama because we
have a different filtration system.
We are deep-minded.
We are, we've been through a lot.
We can take everything we've been through and rearrange it to make you laugh about it. Yeah.
We are also therapist.
We touch on things, no, we touch on things that only we can tou on it in that way.
Yeah.
Once, if you, look man, if you, you get rid of a comedian, you might as well just
fucking die.
No, I'm telling you because there's no way in hell you could take the brunt of the real
world every day without somebody who's able to take that world, filtrade it, put it through
their body and give it back to you in a manageable form.
I love it.
No one can do that but a comedian.
I love it.
Last question for you.
Curb is done. J.B. Smove is not done.
No.
What's next for you?
What you got going on?
Man, look, this is the time where, you know,
the cool thing about what I have accomplished throughout my career is, people don't understand
but a lot of times I got to make time for curb okay and not the other way around yeah because you know commercial campaigns
TV shows movies you know I'm haught I'm sitting man every time I'm gonna
damn I'm Frank the plant as a Quinn every time I look at a says I there's you
dressed as Caesar there's white claw there's all these amazing things that I do right I am an amazing spokesperson I truly I know I believe I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I'm I there I there I there I there, there's all these amazing things that I do. I am an amazing spokesperson.
I truly, no, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe I can sell anything that I love, that
I like.
It feels genuine.
It has to be genuine.
So that's the power.
And people out there, please, don't be afraid of the power of no. Because another opportunity is going to come around around. that. that. that. that. that. Like like that. Like like then like the like the like the like the like to be like to be like to be like to be like tho like to be like their like to be like tho like tho. Like tho. tho. their. their. I. their. their. their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm of the power of no. Do not be ever afraid of power of no Because another opportunity is gonna come around
Right, so I now it's time for
Curb is a once it's one show. Yeah, I don't shoot curb 365 days a year. Yeah, yeah
Curb is one show that takes a few two or three months to shoot and I'm done. Yeah the rest of the year. I got on the go. I am a big, I hustle man, I truly do.
But I find a way to remain grounded,
I find a way to also figure out what's next for me.
You know, therefore I gotta sell a brand.
I believe I have a brand,
I have a unique voice I believe.
I believe people believe in me,
anyone they think I'm fucking around with them. But I the time I the time I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their thi. I'm to be to be to be to be to me. I'm to me. I'm to be, I'm to be, I'm to be, I'm to be, I'm to be, I'm to be to be their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, I'm, thi. thi. thioleou. theananananeaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneanamam. I'm, to to be to be with them. But I take time for people, number one.
Because I know that what I have, you connect.
They need some time.
I connect with you.
You connect.
You connect.
You know how many times I miss flights?
F.
They stop me, they're talking to me. our production company that we started, Alternate Side Productions. This is going, and I use Alternate Side
because I got a whole lot of
tickets growing up,
Austin Side, I speak, parking regulations here in New York City.
So I use that alternate side
just to have my New York Roots and my manager
and my partner Miles.
We are gonna do some amazing things man,
in TV and film and keep the brand going, because I truly you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to th you to th you to th you're th you're to to th you're and film and keep the brand going because I truly believe you're selling something amazing yeah and you're able to drive that
vehicle you know to the next plateau man you've always made me laugh on curb
your stand-up thank you for coming and hanging out with us
congratulations on curb the final season of curb your enthusiasm
your enthusiasm available to stream on match J v. Smove we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back after this.. Yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. t. tttttttttttte. te. te. te. te. te. te. ath is available to stream on Max. J.B. Smooth.
We'll take a quick break and be right back after this.
The vehicle.
It's a vehicle.
Oh, yeah.
It's a new podcast.
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We're going to be talking about the election.
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That's our show for tonight.
Here it is your moment of Zan.
Look, I'll just be very plain and simple.
I was in the State of the Union address and Joe Biden must have been jacked up on something that day. I absolutely believe that from a medical
viewpoint. What do you mean when you say he was jacked up at the State of the Union?
I believe they gave him something to help him sustain the lights and sustain the vigor that
he had. That was not, that was not Joe Biden. I was in there. He screamed for two hours. He screamed
for two hours. And you know, maybe we can talk offline and I'll show you something and I think
that proves that. Well, you'll show me what?
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This has been a Comedy Central podcast. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting
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Economics, Ingredient to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient
to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you
get your podcast.