The Daily Stoic - Christina Pazsitzky On Appreciating The Miraculousness Of Existence

Episode Date: August 26, 2023

Ryan speaks with Christina Pazsitzky in the second of a two-part interview about what really matters in life, why studying history reveals how strange life is, enjoying what you have while you have it, how to navigate social media as a parent, and more.Christina Pazsitzky is a stand-up comedian, podcaster, writer, host and TV personality. Since starting her comedy career in 1997, Christina has been known for her intelligent, thought-provoking, and hilarious takes on the realities of women’s issues, motherhood, and popular culture. In addition to touring the world, she has released four comedy specials, two of which have been featured on Netflix: Mother Inferior (2017), and Mom Genes (2023). Christina and her husband and fellow comedian Tom Segura host the hugely successful podcast "Your Mom’s House" together, and she also hosts her own podcast, the popular “Where My Moms At?” where she discusses motherhood. You can find more about Christina’s work, tour dates, and booking information at christinaponline.com and on Instagram @thechristinap, Twitter @christinap, and on her YouTube channel christinacomedy.✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the weekend edition of the Daily Stoic. Each weekday we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, something to help you live up to those four Stoic virtues of courage, justice, temperance, and wisdom. And then here on the weekend we take a deeper dive into those same topics. We interview stoic philosophers. We explore at length how these stoic ideas can be applied to our actual lives and the challenging issues of our time. Here on the weekend, when you have a little bit more space when things have slowed down, be sure to take some time

to think, to go for a walk, to sit with your journal, and most importantly, to prepare for what the week ahead may bring. Hey, it's Ryan Holiday. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. There is obviously this perception that stochism is boring, that it's dour, that it's devoid of any and all emotions, any sort of zest or joy for life.

We've talked many times about how this isn't true, but I think one of the areas that we can really combat this is by showing that the Stoics had a sense of humor. There's jokes, even in meditations, Mark's really sort of repeats this weird joke. We don't quite get about how this guy is so rich and his house is so full of stuff. He doesn't have any place to go to the bathroom.

So even Mark is really so people don't seem to think as I don't think many people would read as funny. Actually is funny. And the Stoics love the theater, right, which is where they would have seen comedy, not just tragedies, but also comedy. That's why I love talking to comedians. Today's episode, in the case of today's episode, we have an interesting quirk where we are talking to

an Oxford-trained philosophy student and a hugely successful and very funny comedian, the one and only Christina Pazinski, aka Christina P. You've probably seen her many specials on Netflix. You've probably seen her hugely popular podcast, which she hosts with her husband Tom Segura, your mom's house, she has her own podcast,

where's my mom's at. And just an overall really smart, really hilarious person. I first heard her when she was on Mark Maren's podcast many years ago. And now she is a fellow Austinite. I did Tom's podcast, Two Bears One Cave. And when I was there, I gave a book for her that I thought she'd like. This book I've been raving about called Baby on the Fire Escape, which is about the creative life, but specifically some of the struggles that creative mothers have had and We ended up connecting and then she and my wife became friends. They came out to our ranch recently and we Putsed around and had fun and

came out to our ranch recently and we putts around and had fun. And anyways, I'm a big fan of her work. I think she's very funny. We did a long, awesome episode here in the Daily Stoic studio. I'm splitting it into part one and part two. So you can better listen to it. So you can break up the listening. You can follow her on Instagram at the Christina P. That's Christina with a C or on Twitter at Christina P you can go to her website Christina online she regularly performs here in Austin at the comedy mothership among many other shows her first one hour special Christina P mother inferior came out in 2017 then she did she did one called the degenerates, which was shot in Las Vegas. You can also see that on Netflix. And then her newest special mom jeans, which came out in 2022, is awesome.

And you can check that out on Netflix. Also, you can listen to her podcast, where my mom's at, anywhere podcasts are found. You can check out your mom's house everywhere. You've probably seen it on TikTok and Instagram. The clips are very, very viral because they're always funny and For now you can listen to me in Christina P talking philosophy, parenting, life, creativity, and here we go Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's podcast Business Wars. And in our new season, two of the world's leading hotel brands, Hilton and Marriott, stare down family drama and financial disasters.

Listen to business wars on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. When I met like the airport, you know, like CNN has a deal with most major airports and they pay for CNN to be on in the airport. There's a special version of CNN. What? Yeah, it's like airport CNN and so for instance, like they never show airplane crashes. There's like certain things that it's, it makes sense. Right. But the idea is like, if you catch it, if like that's running, you will not be able to turn away.

Even in those no sound, you just, so like when I'm at the airport, I have to like physically turn away. That's how much I don't want to do. Oh, you're like this Orwellian TV, like that just can see. Or wherever you are. Yeah.

And then you see something to be out of you. And like I see it, like we've turned on the commentary shows on ESPN. You see how it's so hard. You see the formula that they're doing, and it's so laughably stupid, that you realize that that's also what the news is. It's like, is LeBron James the worst basketball pair

of all time? You're like, what? Yes. Are people discussing that? And then like, yeah, they talked about it for an hour because it's so aggravating. And then it requires a statement. It requires Steven A Smith to be like,

you have strong thoughts on this. And so like that's the whole thing they need. It's like professional wrestling that's basically watching. Yes. So like what I find like something's happening with a pandemic is that I want to read a book about a different pandemic.

For like 100 years ago. 100%. Oh, okay, I get the broad strokes. So now when I get like current information, I know where it slots into the general framework of like how humans respond to stuff. Brilliant. Because Dr. Drew during the pandemic

was like, you have to read this book. What is it like the hysteria of the masses or something of the masses? It's about like how that dissemination of information lends to hysteria and what happens and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh yeah, it always just repeats. Or a history is on a loop. Yes.

And yeah, it is. The people were on the same way. The same way. Like wait a minute, we've never had this happen. Like actually we have. I don't know. Exactly 100 years ago, the exact same thing happened. Well, even now with, and I think it's calming down,

but even with, you know, the monitoring of people's language, the cancel culture, the monitoring and the canceling, you didn't like with that person said in 2008 on Twitter. Uh oh, I mean, this was, this was how it ramped up to communism. Uh, I don't know, my dad's always telling me about that because he grew up in Hungary and he's like, this is how it starts. I remember when Michael Richards got canceled

for dropping the end bomb at the left factory, which obviously I don't agree with. Yeah, didn't you just scream the end word? Like a lot of times, just a lot of people. Just one person for no reason. Just one. Yeah, didn't you just scream the end? We're like a lot of times. Just one person for no reason. Just one. But I remember that, you know, the outrage and that I did the done. My dad was like, Oh, here we go. Another cycle of this stuff. Once it starts happening. And I was like, yeah, but anyway, and then Trump happened. That was weird. I don't know what's

going to happen now. When the aliens land in 2026, I think it is. When are they landing? Well, any of it matter. Yeah, life is always fucking nuts. That's what you get when you study history. It's always been fucking nuts. And that there was, like, that's what I think it was very obvious to the last couple of years. Oh, this is what living through history is like, because's what I think it was very obvious to the last couple years.

Oh, this is what living through history is like, because you think about history as being this kind of settled thing. Right. And then you go, no, at first of it wasn't so, like, we only know that they won World War II after, but like, there were lots of moments where it looked like that wasn't going to happen.

Oh, yeah. Right, and so, or like, yes, the civil rights protesters won. But like most people didn't think they were going to win. And most people didn't think they should win. Like, like, like, overwhelmingly public opinion was not on their side. And so, like, understanding that history was once the present and the next day or the next that none of that was like preordained or for certain. I can't just blew my mind bro. You just blew my fucking mind open. What about the civil rights movement? No, no, wait the blacks have freedom yet. No, because like I was thinking I'm actually the last six weeks about fucking, oh I was like do we

actually live in a crazier time now or have there always been strange times? And then I watched this documentary about Marilyn Monroe. And it talked about how both the Kennedy brothers were begging her at the same time, meaning the president of the United States and his brother, what tag team Marilyn Monroe? And you're like, that's crazy, bro. And kind of everybody knew it. and it was swept under the rug and then she dies and then they scrub her apartment so that nobody...

And Kennedy's like on these terrible drugs all the time. Like because he had this crippling back pain, they would like inject him with this, he was like basically a drug addict. Wild. Or just in 1968, there were 2,000 terrorist bombings in the United States. And now if one thing happens, we're like, what? You know, this is not normal. And it's like in 2,000 terrorist bombings.

That's wild. And you know, but how do we not about here about them? Right. That's not a TikTok. I don't know about it. So yeah, people don't hear about them. Right. That's not my TikTok, I don't know about it. So yeah, people don't know history. Even the people who are on the news don't know this stuff.

They, because they're just reading off fucking teleprompter. Yeah. Right. They don't know this stuff. And so are, because you don't know history, everything seems unprecedented and abnormal and unsurvivable and crazy and it wasn't.

But except for the aliens, I'm telling you, the congressional, so those congressional hearings, I mean, that's, that should break everybody out and nobody is like. I know, that guy was just basically like, you know, a lot of people have told me there's programs where we have aliens. Like, what, I feel like the, but there's no, nobody's responding. Nobody is like, is that, is that why it's everyone sharing your opinion?

Like, you think like that's that's the second hand third. Yeah, I just feel like extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Got you. And he's just like, I feel like if this were true, why would they let him do it? Let him do it. Let him testify.

Yeah. Well, the way I heard it, I mean, this sounds so stupid, but they're like, yeah, there was just a day available and they took it. It wasn't, it was like, no, no, I'm saying if there's this top secret program, they don't want anyone to know about. Right.

When the students just be disappeared. Yeah, I think they did try to. And he also passed a legislation to protect him or something. There's been like a whole rampage. Yeah, there's some like whistleblower protection. Right. But this has been in history. About aliens? Yeah.

Well, yeah, I mean, for like a long time, we've been speculating about. Oh, Roswell, yes. Yeah. Yeah. But other way, yeah. I mean, that does seem like there's some weird shit that we don't know about. Oh, Roswell, yes. Yeah, but other. Yeah. I mean, that does seem like there's some weird shit that we don't know about Is that is it actually aliens or is it something that's actually maybe maybe the maybe The argument is that the reason they want us to talk about them being aliens is it's actually something scarier

They don't want us to be talking about, which is like, the Chinese have some fucking super weapon or, you know what I mean? Like it could just be something much more pedestrian, but actually more terrifying. And- Oh, sure, sure, sure. Or it could be, it's something that we have, and they would also rather people.

Like I thought that was interesting. You know, when the, you know, when that submarine collapsed, that it's, and then afterwards, the Navy was like, oh, yeah, we heard it collapse. Yeah. And we just didn't want to tell it. Like, and you're just like, whoa, wait, so the Navy can just hear sounds two miles under the water just in fucking the middle of nowhere. They just, they're just monitoring this at all times. And then, and so I had two thoughts, which one is they didn't hear anything and that's just a night, it's like you tell your kids like, I'm always watching this, all you're doing. You know, it's that?

Or they really do have incredible capacities. And I was talking to this guy, I know who's like a general and he was like, he was like that corridor, like where the Titanic is, I forget the acronym, but that's the corridor where like Russia would come down towards America. So he's like, that's like one of the most intensely monogurt places in the world.

And yet they couldn't find it? Well, they couldn't find it. Like in the sense that they hear things that are happening and then, you know, within a couple days they tracked it down, but they're not just like, they're not like, no one else is there, but the idea is they're monitoring, so they heard this suspicious sound, which they were able to do to the thing, layer, collapsing, but like, the idea is that's a very monitored place, but I have no idea about

the aliens, but I really hope they exist, help straighten some stuff out. We were talking about work life balance earlier. One of the things I think, and then, ties back to what I was talking about earlier, have you heard this term, art monsters? No. You know, art monsters? It's from some woman, I'm forgetting her name, but she was saying,

she's like, my dream is to become an art monster. Beating, she's like, not care about anything, but making my stuff. Oh, yes. It's easy to become totally consumed, totally one-sided to care about nothing, but like your own success. And I think a lot of the grates were that. I agree.

I'll tell you, Vince Lombardi, there is a documentary we watched on Vince Lombardi. The great and the greatest coach of all time. And you're like, okay, I get it. So he's the greatest guy on the planet. The guy never sees his family. He works seven days a week. His life is shit.

And it's all in sacrifice of what? To be in a documentary that heirs posthumously. Like, and by the way, sick transit Gloria, I learned that from Rushmore, Gloria Fates. All Gloria's feeding, feeding. There you go. So like, you work for this immortal status, fame, glory, and the shit goes away in it, generation. There are comedians that I cherished that if you would ask a kid that works in your bookstore, they got no idea who Phyllis Diller is or George Carlin, even who was huge. So yeah,

to what end, to what sacrifice, you sacrifice everything for greatness. In Meditations, Marcus, where this is, the thing about posh misfames that you won't be around to enjoy it. And then it goes, it's also worth remembering that the people in the future will also be as dumb and stupid

as annoying as the people who are alive right now. Most definitely. So like, what do you care that much about being loved by people seven generations from now? It doesn't bring you back from the dead and also they still suck. They still suck. Everybody's still stupid and watching how I met your mother on. Yes.

Eight o'clock show. Yeah, I mean, I agree. What's the point? And I kind of, so I don't so I broke my ankle two years ago, and I talk about this my last special, but I read a joke about it. But the truth is they gave me a shit ton of ketamine. And in my K-hole, as they call it, I've never done ketamine before, I was deeply tripping. And I thought I was dying. I really did. I was like, I think this is it, man. deeply tripping. And I thought I was dying.

I really did. I was like, I think this is it, man. And I wasn't thinking about my career. I wasn't stoked that I had so many specials on Netflix or that I had this successful anything. I was literally thinking about my children and my husband, my children and my husband. And it got real narrow, real quick.

And I came out of that. And anytime I catch myself getting on this kick of like, I should be bigger, I should do a rena's too. I should be good. I go like, oh, I'm gonna die. And it doesn't matter. And my kids are the only ones who are really gonna

give a shit in any way. And so you also might as well, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but you should also enjoy it while you're doing it as opposed to seeing it as a means to another end or the next thing, right? If it's like, I'm doing this theater show. So one day I'll be able to do a rena show.

And then if I'm do the best of rena shows, then it'll be the great. Like, you're not actually liking it as you're doing it. It's all this delayed gratification for some thing that you don't ultimately get. I know. What is the get? What is it? I don't know. Because I've had rungs of success and you have two and in every time you hit that rung you go, oh cool. Yeah. Is that all there is? Yes. Oh shit cool. Okay. Is that all there is? Like it's a it's a constant like that song. Is that all there is? Yes. Oh shit cool. Okay. Is that all the risk like it's a it's a constant like that song is that all there is right? Is that all there is my friends? Then let's

keep dancing you kind of realize like that's it dude. I interviewed Ray Wilson yesterday and he was saying that like for like three seasons of the office he wasn't thinking I'm a starring I've one of the greatest characters I'm one of the greatest shows of all time. He was like, why don't these movies I'm doing work? You know, like, why did John Krasinski get this? You know, he was thinking about that. And so you end up robbing yourself of the wonderfulness of whatever the run you're currently at.

The miraculousness of A your existence. You should not even be here by all accounts. It's pretty random. This is insane. It's insane. We're on this rock in this room with these books. Baba, baba, weird, weird, weird. And then you get to do the thing you dreamt of doing.

It's bananas. I sometimes with Tom will be on your mom's house laughing at fart videos. And I'll be like, you fully get to do this. Like, this is red. It's a miracle. Yeah, I remember, I was like, if I could write one book. Like, that was my thing. If I could publish a book, not like this many books,

to sell this, it was a book. And then you're so far past that, but you just move the goalpost. You either forget the goalpost puts or you move them. And so you never actually feel like you made it, even though you made it many, many, many times. Many, many, many times. You know, sometimes if I am doing a theater and I'm like, oh, I just fucking sold this bitch out. And like, I'm so pumped, you know, but I don't want that excitement to spill into my performance.

Because then you're too geeked when you're up there and it's like, who wants to watch that guy? So sometimes this is so stupid. I will set aside time to just be stoked about that achievement. I'll be like, you can get pumped about this whole thing. Yeah. Like before the gig, like an hour before it,

and then once you're there, you're calm and you're just in yourself, and you're centered, and you're the comedian there you're calm and you're just in yourself on your center Then you're the comedian you're an artist, you know, yeah, so that you don't get the two like I don't know You don't want to be so conscious like in your own head about it like you have to but you should also not just like yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, this fucking awesome thing. Yeah, cuz yeah, yeah, yeah, like oh man. That's That sucks to like don't just yeah, yeah, yeah, like, oh man, that's, that sucks too, like don't just, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. That's not fair either, because it's huge.

If you get to do anything in life, you want. I remember someone, someone said something nice to me and someone else was standing there and I was like, oh, cool, thanks. And then they were like, no, no, no, no, no. Take the compliment. Take the compliment. Like, and I think about that, it's like,

just because it makes you a little uncomfortable or it's weird, like you're deliberately not allowing yourself to feel it or hear it. Because you're trying to be humble or you don't want it to go to your head or it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, but you're not actually being present for the thing that you've worked very hard for.

And then what you're focusing on is the next thing and since you're never actually arrive at. I know. How do we defeat that? What did the stoic say about that? Well, I think that sort of memento Mori of like, hey, you're gonna die is a nice way to sort of root yourself in the moment. Like this could be the last one that I ever do.

So I should be here for this, right? Like I shouldn't be not feeling this because I want to feel a better one later. Like I should actually be here for this thing. I think that, like, I think people think meditating on your mortality is very depressing or empties things of significance, but it actually has the exact opposite allows you to go like, this is all there is and it's fucking wonderful. And so I'm going to be grateful for it. And this this moment is like my whole life. You know, this, this one thing in front of me is all led up to this. This is all there is. And so I'm just going to be present for it. Mm-hmm. Tom always makes fun of me because I'm, I'm always like, you're going to die.

You know, they're going to fucking die. So, and he's like, funny me, because I'm always like, you're gonna die. You know that you're gonna fucking die. So, and he's like, oh, calm down, because I'm so like Eastern Blocky about it. But it's very liberating to fully accept that. And I, you know, especially as we age, like I just turned 47. I'm like, dude, I'm looking down the barrel of 50. Like, how did that happen?

Yeah. Whoa, and who am I now? Because, you know, you're just the sum of your past experiences, but like you're supposed to stay present. And I don't know, I don't add up to my past, because who I was 20 years ago is not who I am now. It's really hard for the human brain to reconcile. Well, one of the things that jokes talk about is is the idea that death isn't this thing that's at the end,

but that death is happening always. And so you go, okay, I'm like I'm 36, so I've died 36 years. And then you're like, oh yeah, right? It's not this thing you do once, but like time that passes is dead, the Stokes would say. Like it's gone forever. And so if you think actually of as death, it's a thing that's constantly happening.

First off, it makes you a much more diligent in protecting your time. I'm not going to be this dumb thing that you're asking me to do. 100%. I'm not going to wait in line. Or all, oh, oh, I can wait in line or I can pay $100 to not wait in line. I'll pay $100 to not wait in line. It doesn pay $100 to not wait in line. It doesn't play. Every time. Yeah, every time. Because I'm just, you know, time is the most valuable thing.

Yeah. And then also though that, that like, your, your, like, who you are in this moment is all that there is as opposed to like, I'm saving it for later, right? That, that, you know, I'll do it when I retire or whatever. Yeah. Again, it might not happen. And, you know, is it, is it worth wasting 50 years of your life to have 25 years of your

life that you enjoy or like? Yeah, you know, it's something so stupid even down to the clothing I choose sometimes because I'm like, like you ever buy something really good, like really expensive and fancy and nice and you're like, I can't wear that, I'm gonna save that. That's like a special shirt or something and you're like, well, when are you gonna wear it? Yeah. When are you gonna wear the shirt?

And it's just wear it today. Yeah. Like even this shirt, I was like, Oh, I can't, I can't wear this. It's so fancy. It's so crisp. And I'm like, yeah, but where is the podcast is special? Like, where are you? You're fancy jewelry. Like what like my mother died. And I clean out her closet.

And in the back of the closet, hidden in a suitcase, zipped up in a bag, route, you know, a hidden, hidden hidden hidden was all her jewelry. Right. And I was like, whoa, and I know that she really valued it when she was alive. And it's like, that's it. Like it just ends up in a, like you're not even enjoying it,

even at the end of her life, I'm saying like, yeah. I don't know. It really bummed me out. Now I went to the, there's a, enjoy it. Big old sort of historical house of the street and they're like having a state sale.

And you're just like, this was like 85 years of accumulation. Woo. You know, and it's like they could not be getting rid of it fast enough. I know. Like, like the ladies clothes were still on hangers in the closet. That's like, that's the level the level of a state sale this was.

It wasn't like the family came in and took all the stuff they wanted. It was just like, they were like an all- Give it shit out. And then the rest goes in the dumpster. And that's gonna happen to you. Yeah. That's gonna happen to you.

And so, what are you accumulating all this stuff for? What's the shit for? My mother had sacred couches. I don't know if your mother had the couches you're not allowed to sit on. My mother, we grew up very not poor, but just lower middle class. She ends up marrying this Indian guy who's also a criminal

and he was a sociopath, but he was very nice to me. I actually really enjoyed him. He's dead now too, but he made millions with her. He used a credit and he did all these scams and he made millions and so we got rich. So I've been poor and I've been not poor. I can tell you being not poor is way better, but. The stoats would say it's a preferred and different.

It's better to have than not have. Oh, rich people problems are so, I hate when people poo poo money. And when you see like these, like these actors, even Jim Carey is like, oh, to be rich, I don't care. And it's like shut the fuck up. You have to shut this fuck up. Shut this fuck up.

Yeah. Then sell your stuff and go live in a van. Get, give poor people your stuff. Shut up about that. But the point is, the white silk couches, I couldn't get rid of those fast enough. Because first of all, they're dated as shit. By the time I inherited them, they're from 1988. They look terrible. Well, they haven't been used, actually, so they're pristine. But they're stupid.

And guess, I just donate them. I donate them. And my mother, for the life, we couldn't sit on it. We couldn't breathe on it. She laminated for an adjure. It was like, what is this for? Which is very, very, very apparently like you're meeting the car. Oh, no, are you kidding me? And the car seats were covered in Lam's wool or, you know, I was just like, where's the car now? Yeah. Like, it's still in 1994 Volvo, right?

So like, it's eventually became worthless. Like, it didn't matter how good a carer you took of it. Like, eventually it becomes worthless anyway. You know, or like, you know, when I drew on the wall and I got in trouble, like somebody painted over that. Okay. You know, and when I walk through my garage in my car, there's like, so the scribbles my son did

when we weren't paying attention, you know? And it's like, I was frustrated when I was like, God damn it, you know? And then I go, now every time I pass it, I'm like, that is so cute. Cause he's not a two year old anymore. That two year old is dead. Like that two year old does not exist anymore.

And I would kill to have the two year old again for just like five minutes, right? Five minutes only, and then back to the present. But yeah, so it's like, what do you, you're like, you're fighting against this thing that you have that's wonderful to preserve this thing that is stuff that you don't actually care about that's already becoming worthless.

Yeah, I don't care. And there's no crazy about that. I don't care for stuff isn't, like it doesn't ring my bell. I like experiences. You know, not that I'm high in mighty. I do it like nice stuff. Yeah. It just doesn't, I don't ring my bell. I like experiences. Not that I'm high in mighty. I do it like nice stuff. It just doesn't, I don't give a shit.

Because I saw the fleeting nature of stuff. When my mom got it and then she died and then it was all just given away, I was like, oh, that stuff's not the answer. That ain't it, for sure. Experiences are great. I think money, if you look at money, the utility and money is so that you don't have to think about money.

That's the greatest joy for me. And when the people say money can't buy happiness, go fuck your mother. You're lying and you're stupid and you're wrong because it's bought me a piece of mind. Like I know, oh my gosh, if I get sick or something, okay. If you can throw money at it, it's not a real problem. But if you're rich and you think about money all the time, you're not rich. That's torture too, right? But I don't. I'm fine.

I literally, I need so, I just need a certain amount in my bank where I'm like, I'm good. I can die. When people talk about, fuck you money, and you can just have a, like, no, thanks money. Or whatever. Like, I'm good. You know?

Yeah. Like, you can. Like, you can't be aggressive. And I think people think they need like an insane amount of money to be secure, but if you have a relatively simple needs, then you can feel that much earlier. And then also remembering, you know, at some point you didn't have it and you were totally fine. Yes.

And that you can take care of yourself if you do lose it all tomorrow. Yeah. Because I think there's also that worry too, once you get successful, I must preserve the success and I must keep this up at all costs. Well, you think being rich will make you more, like, secure and, like, take those risks. Like, now, now they won't be able to tell me what to do.

Yeah. Or, like, now I'll put out that thing. I was like, but you actually, it has the exact opposite exact opposite effect because now you don't want to lose it. You want to take risks. And so you become a prisoner to the thing that you thought would free you. More money, more problems. When we think of sports stories, we tend to think of tales of epic on the field glory. But the new podcast Sports Explains the World brings you some of the wildest and most surprising sports stories you've never heard, like the teenager who wrote a fake Wikipedia page

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like I sat in the dark for a decade. I, like only ate count-chocular cereal. Like I was so- Is that a god cereal? No, but it is now. And I, yo, like I did not go on the sun, and I lived in the San Fernando Valley. And so even in the summertime, like heat like this,

Texas heat, I would be out there in like full velvet dresses and which boots and capes and stuff. Like I was really into being undead, yeah. What's the music for you into? Oh, let's talk about it. I still listen and sadly, I still listen to the same stuff I liked when I was 15, is that normal?

I don't like current things. I love bow house and I actually, when they were touring, the singers in rehab now. But for the last few years, they were touring and I would route my comedy touring schedule with bow house so that I could go to all their shows. That's cool. The cure, Suzy and the Banchees. I'm talking your classics or standards. Do you know them? Yeah, of course. I'm a good fan. Are you are you goth on the ins? No, no, no. I was like a heavy metal kid, which isn't quite golf, but it's goth adjacent. Absolutely. It's a subculture. What are your bands? Let's go. Mostly like a like Metallica Iron Maiden, Alison Chains. Oh, yeah, dog. I was into all that stuff. Pantera.

Yeah. Yeah. Slayer. I didn't like Slayer. Yeah. I was, so it was like heavy metal and then sort of grunge, like that sort of my, that was sort of my era. It's a good time.

Yeah. Yeah, I liked, I liked the first wave of Goth. As far as I'm concerned, like it ended, like Marilyn Manson, it's like Poesertown. I'm on end of that. I like the British. Yes. So if your kids were Goth, would you encourage it? Or how do you, like I've always, what do you do in your kids turning into a weirdo? Well, first of all, I do encourage it. I have a Goth room in my house. It's my office, my study, because I've realized that I don't write or create anything in sterile desk environments. I don't think I've ever written a joke sitting at a proper desk. So I was like, why don't you just build a crazy bathroom? What's in a bathroom?

Oh, it's everything awesome. I've got like a bat, a bat light, like a fixture. I've got dope ass dark wall paper. I've got, oh, I just like from hell razor the hell razor movies the cube that lights up as a lamp. A lot of some skulls yeah pencils and them pens. Yeah, you know dark shit candles and I get weird I just get in there. I get weird. What are your kids think of it? Oh yeah, so the point is I've been educating them on goth culture. I make them listen to bellhouse in the car already and the clash too. Oh, we, what, the classics, punk too.

I mean, I think mom likes Halloween. That's what they say. Mom loves Halloween and I'm always like, you guys love Halloween. I was like, I try to get them into it. And I went at my, so listen, but I was dark, dark-sided because my parents were wackadoodles. So I think if your kid is as goth as I was...

It's a reflection of you. Some's going on. Yeah, yeah. There's just, those are demons that need to be addressed. You put that kid in therapy. Right. That's what I would do. Honestly, if my kids were doing that stuff, I'd be like, oh, dude, we gotta go do a shrink family counseling. Well, yeah. Do you have a goth kid already? No, he's only six. Yeah. I'd be a little early.

Too early for that. Yeah. Would you want him to like metal? I think so. They both do. They both do. Yeah, they both do. Because there's like dragons and you know what I mean?

They like the imagery and it's loud. It's goals. And it's loud. Yeah, boys love that. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're into it. That's cool.

My kids like the pixies. I got them into that early. Yeah. Yeah. Now they're into it. That's cool. My kids like the pixies. I got them into that early. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, look, I was just a brooding teenager. Were you angry too? Yeah, not understood sort of a lot of time alone in my room. Same as, yeah. Which I think makes you creative because you're like, you're in here, but you want to be out. So sort of art or creating things is like a escape. And it's also a way to be, to communicate and be understood. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I think you have to get weird first.

Sure. To get creative, like really weird. Yeah, I wasn't a cheerleader. You know what I mean? Like, that shit was never in my cards. Yeah, I wasn't a cheerleader. You know what I mean? Like, that shit was never in my cards. Yeah. So I didn't know how to get it out of me though because I didn't know I could be a comedian

and I didn't think that was really possible. Well, because you don't know any comedians, right? Actually, no. Interestingly enough, I grew up with Roseanne Barr's daughter, Jenny Pellan. She and I were best friends from the time I was 12 and then like we split up because we were getting into a lot of trouble together but they split us up as friends or whatever.

But that would have been nice because then you're like, oh, this is a job, one of my friends' moms has. It was rad and I visited the set and you know unconsciously, unknowingly, I was like, oh gosh, and then later on, yeah, I got into it. I think that's part, I've said this before, but I think that's obviously nepotism sucks. But I think part of the nepo baby thing is you get to see your mom or dad do a job. Yeah, that's cool. And then so you're like, oh, this is a thing people do. And it gets humanized and you understand that there's a process in a way that you don't if like when I was growing up like I didn't know anyone that did never job like all my friends

parents had day jobs. Like regular people jobs. Yeah, so the idea that like you could write books or like obviously you know some people do those things but those are different people. So, true. Not like you. And until you see it, like even when I started doing comedy, like until headliners take you around and go, no, no, no, like you can make a living at stand-up comedy here. Like here's how you do it.

This is the forms you fill out. You know, like it's just like, it's like, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it just gets demystified. Yes. Very quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I agree. But it's so hard when you're starting because you're like, which really goes to show the importance of your surroundings. Yes. Because you can get really dragged out like, I remember going to like really shitty public school and that's what kind of turned me on. And like, just like seeing fights and seeing gang bangers and like bad stuff, and you're like,

oh, how do I get out of, I'm stuck. I remember feeling so stuck. So yeah, you have to see it to get out of it. When you're trying to get out of some of that stuff and you move to Texas, why don't you guys move to Texas? Oh, all the Texas, I mean, look, our friends moved here. And I think the Pandy kind of ruined my neighborhood a lot.

And also, like, I just don't want my kids growing, I don't want my kids growing up in showbiz. Yeah. I grew up in LA. Even I was not in showbizness, like, yes, my friend's mom was famous, but my dad's a forklift mechanic. I grew up in like the West Valley. I'm not special or whatever. I just want to make kids to have a normal, right? It's kind of more normal here. It is. You can learn to be an asshole later, like grow up. Well, it's like they already have exposure

or proximity to show, but it's so do you need to over index for that by also everyone else they meet and you go into that. Yeah, I kinda, so yeah, I agree. I just didn't want that. I didn't want my kids to, every house they go to, it's like a mansion and like, you should see the world. No, no, I've actually found that's also better for me

not being around people like me. Because then I'm not as competitive. You know what I only care about what I'm doing and what I'm working on and I live in my own little world. And most of the people that I meet are doing regular shit as opposed to, did you hear so and so got packs? Yeah. You know, it's like, you can, it makes it easier to tune out what other people are doing and just kind of be in your own lane. So true. And with, I don't know why this made me think of it though, but when you're embarking

on a journey of what it is you want to become, sometimes your biggest haters are people who are related to you. Oh, your family? Yeah. Okay. Or people close to you. Sure. Maybe inadvertently say things that may discourage you.

Like I, I remember in the beginning being very guarded because I learned the lesson, I wanna be a comedian, oh really? Right, shut up. So I think guarding your baby, think of it as an infant, whatever it is you're planning and just tend to that. And then eventually they'll see that you're successful

and you don't have to say anything, you know? That's really interesting. Yeah, when I decided to write my first book, Sam and I moved to New Orleans and literally not one person asked me what I was doing. You know, like, so I never said, oh, I'm working on a book. Yeah. Sure. I love to see it, you know, whatever. Like, so when it was announced, like, when it came out, everyone was like, oh, wow, that's so cool. And then I realized that they thought I was just a bum

basically, like all the people we'd met and we come friends, they just never occurred to them that I was doing anything at all. And it didn't matter, you know what I mean? And so it was so nice because I got to just sort of privately work on the thing and not be self-conscious about it or a guarded about it or anything. Like, I was just doing it.

And then by the time it was ready for people to, like, it was done. By the time I was, people were talking about it was done. Yeah. And I think carving out that space is really important. Definitely. Got being protective of your creative space, of your creative real estate in your mind. Even I would say keeping your mind weird,

like all those years they sat in a dark room being goth, that's where the sauce was. That's where the magic happened. I would read dark books and I would listen to dark music or whatever and just like, marinate in my own stuff. And that's where the good stuff is. Don't let people take that from you. Don't try it. And like, for many years, I was so afraid of being seen as a weirdo or crazy. And now I don't, I don't care as much. So you know what I mean? Like so much real estate in your mind is taking it by keeping up with the Joneses. Well, it's like, why would you want to be like everyone else

in the sense that then you don't stand out from those people? Like the whole, you realize like creatively from a career standpoint, like the main thing is how does your things stand out from all the other people that are doing that thing? Right? So if you start from, well, what is everyone doing? I'll do that. Oh my God.

You've already fucked up. You know what I mean? Like you were saying, you're like, you're the only woman at this comedy club that feels like a disadvantage and it sucks that there weren't more women who felt comfortable doing it, but at the same time, it meant you had more space, right? You had, you were the only one so you stood out. And so it's so interesting, like, like, you can even see this in the wall, like, all these book covers look the same, because like, people see, and you can, I, I know,

because I've watched the long, like, I know, like, which trends or when the books came up, like, like, everyone's doing X right now, and then everyone's doing Y right now. And so you, but the whole point of the cover should be that it stands out on the shelf, not that it goes, oh, that looks like a book that belongs on that shelf. But isn't that what the publishing houses do? They go like, well, this is selling. If you're a female, you need to have pink cover

and black writing. So you have to know who you are and what you're doing would be very confident in that. So you can resist the pressures that make you like, you got to get this haircut, you have to get this thing, you got to talk about this, you know, um, but that's where time is standing. But that's where time alone, yeah, suffering. Yeah.

Right. I think suffering is what, yeah, if you're going to be good at anything. And to speak back to the NEPO baby thing is like, I worry for my kids because yes, on the one hand, if they want to be comedians or writers, great. Like you've got the blueprint. I can tell you kind of what to do. At the end of the day, you need to be talented. I can't do that for you.

There's requisite suffering that I worry my children won't. I'm sure there's suffering. But yeah, well, maybe they won't be funny. I don't know. I don't know. Well, no, like sometimes the obstacles the way they go, like, so do you think I should like create obstacles for my kids? And I go, dude, life sucks, man. Even for even, like, it's stuff's going to happen.. They're gonna have some learning disability, this is gonna laugh at them. They're gonna break their arm.

Like you do not need to create obstacles. I think my kid is all three. You just said like one of the kids has all three. Oh, like it and by the way, like the arrogance that it's not fucking hard to be your kid. Like I think about that a lot, a lot. I go like it's probably not, like it's probably not easy to be your kid. Like I think about that a lot, a lot. I go like, it's probably not, like it's probably not easy to be my kid.

Like I'm sure, I'm definitely aware it's not easy to be married to me. So like, it's probably not, so I don't need, like, there are already being tested. What do you think is the worst part about being your kid? That's a good question. I mean, I am, I do have to be gone more than like a regular person to be gone, so that's already there.

I'm busy, like I have a lot of stuff going on. I like what I do, so like I'm consumed by that, so I get distracted easily. And then I also think like I haven't met a ton of creative people who are not somewhat melancholy. It was somewhat melancholy. They don't have some childhood issues. There's not some wound or insecurity

that's at the root of what made them be that. So like obviously I also have that. So I think there's plenty of things that make it hard to be my kid. That's so true. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And is anyone like that?

I see that. It was great to have, like I don't know. I always wonder that. And the people that are like, my parents were great. Nothing was wrong. Those people just haven't been to therapy yet. Yeah, they haven't actually thought about it. They haven't dealt with their, they haven't, they're just passing that shit onto other people.

They haven't been called out on their shit and had to go, what, why am I doing this? And then you find out, oh, it's because mom and dad. Correct. They're just, yeah, they're just creating issues with everybody and fighting with you and stuff. And you're like, oh, go to therapy, figure that shit out, man. Yeah, yeah, everyone has something. Yeah. Now I have a question for you.

Okay. I mean, you're a thoughtful guy. You think about stoicism. You think deep thoughts and stuff. But what's the difference? How come there are people that are like that and then some people that aren't? What do you mean like naturally stoked and then some people that aren't? No, I mean like there are some people who never think about this stuff ever. I think.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, there's sort of the people who are blissfully unaware. Is that what that is? I mean, I do think there is sort of a level of like, I don't know, I don't think that dogs thinking about any of this stuff, right? And there's certain happiness there. So I think there's that camp of people. And then I think there's the people who are deliberately not thinking about this stuff.

And maybe that goes back to what we're talking about a little bit earlier, which is, if you read Fear and Loving in Las Vegas. No. We have in the story. It's a great book. But the epigraph to Fear and Loving in Las Vegas is quite. I think it's from Samuel Johnson.

He says, he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. And so I think there is a contingent of society that just chooses to be consumed by or distracted by other things rather than having to think about these questions or having to make decisions or sacrifices or whatever. I know. And I have to admit that I am jealous of those people, like Envious, in that, like I really wanted to just be a normal blonde cheerleader.

I really did. Sure. And I just, for so many years, I still flog myself, like, I wish I could just be fucking normal. Yeah. And then my therapist is like, yes, but you've got the gift of comedy or whatever. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's my superpower all this suffering. Blah, blah, blah. It's not in the cards. Yeah. It's not the hand you are down. No, no, it's like the great, like the Stoics would say, they and your stuff. You're just gonna be thrown to the lions.

Yeah, or I mean, you're become the emperor or you become like, there's good things, but it's like, yeah, you don't, there's so much that's not in our control, like who we are, where we come from, what we got interested in, how our fucking synapses lined up, and why this thing lights us up,

and this thing doesn't, you know, why we got this predilection for addiction, or why we got this, you know, propensity to do this, you know, like we all have, all of that stuff is preordained and then you have these tiny set of choices. So you either face that and come to terms with it and make it or do you live in a sort of world of, I was thinking about that line in the office

where she says like, I can't think of that that way then that's because your imagination sucks. I live in a fantasy world. And so like there is the Michael Scots of the world that are just operating on the line. But I don't think happy is probably not the word I would use to describe that person. But it seemed happy to me. I see them on Instagram. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I hope so. Like, I think I've gotten to a point as I've gotten older where I go, I hope so. Like, I think when I was younger, I mean, like, they're not happy. It's fucking alive.

Or something. And I'd be like, sure, it seems like it's working for you. It's too tired. Where he's off to it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't need, I don't need to prove you wrong. No, no, make you see what I see It's already sex enough for me. So I'll I'll just deal with my shit. Yeah, that's all you can't do is deal with your own shit Yeah, take responsibility for your own shit Well, then when you have kids then you have like it's like do you I have these people like I don't really care what you're doing Yeah That's why it's it does seem weird the people like like I, I don't really care what you're doing. Yeah. That's why it does seem weird. Like, I just really don't have time or energy

to be mad at trans people or gay people or whatever. Like, I can't conceive why you would want to give a hard time to people who are having a fucking hard time. When you yourself are having a hard time, just focus on that. So it seems hot. Yeah, but do you, like, I don't know, maybe I'm like naive, but I'm like,

does anybody really give a rip about that stuff? Like is it just a small group of people? People seem to talk about it a lot. I know. They've got a lot of laws about it. Oh, that's true. Yeah. You know. Oh, that's true. Maybe in the South area. Yes. I guess I'm from California and they don't. We do you only what like two years into Texas. Yeah. I've we go through periods we really love it here and then we're like we need to go spend some time in California just like a release valve or just like, be around our people, which we don't actually want to, it's like you have to go home and see your family sometimes.

You know, you don't actually want to live near your family or be with your family, but you do like come home every once in a while. That's sort of how I found out about Texas. Yeah, I got that. Yeah, at the same time as an outsider here, you know, culturally unlike I try to be respectful and be like, look dude, I got that. Yeah, at the same time as an outsider here, you know, culturally, I'm like, I try to be respectful and be like, look, dude, I get it. You guys don't like abortion. That's fine.

I'm not going to say a damn thing. It's not fine. It's not fine at all. It's totally fucked, but yeah, but like I live here. So when in Austin, you know what I mean? Like I'm not going to, I'm not going to talk to my neighbors about why they should have. I was like, that's not my discussion for here. Sure. You know, maybe that's the immigrant in me that's very into like assimilation. Like my parents came here and they were like,

that's a bit of an American though. You know, fly American flag, no more on getting it shit. I'm like, I do it, I'm here. Yeah. And the barbecue, brisket. Yeah, abortion sucks, whatever do you like. I'm talking to you about it, right?

I can argue with you. Yeah, but it's like, like don't California my Texas or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah. First off, it's all in America. We file a whole war about this. It's all America. So you don't get to just take away basic,

like sort of American rights, because it's in Texas, it's in its own country. But also like, but in California is great, dude. Like, uh, well, it would, the things we should take from California would be, uh, would be awesome. And then I think something should stay there.

Definitely. Whatever. We got anything else to talk about? I feel like we covered so much. We started with polyamory. Yeah. In the last episode. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Do we need to start?

We need to sort of. I feel like it's like almost a process. It's like first they go do an ayahuasca trip. And then they announce that they're opening their marriage. Yes, yes, yes, it's like come on. Oh my gosh, you're absolutely right. Actually, the people I know that became swingers. That's how it started. Like, shaman things. And then yeah, I think we're just swinging and then all of a sudden it's like we're divorcing You just fast forward there Oh god

Yeah, I yes to each their own but if you shut up about it out just shut that okay, that's okay I do feel like just shut up about it that culture is gone Yeah, like why do we have to show that? What the boundaries is, like, I do, I do like, they're talking Instagram, but some of the things that people fucking share. I know. I'm just like, it's so embarrassing.

Yeah, you're just like, you decided, you're making a real about how your husband doesn't satisfy you or something. And it's like, he's gonna see this. Like, what are you doing? But just people, people post the wit, and people just reveal themselves to be disgusting. I know.

They show pictures of their houses and they're like, oh my God. You're showing this, you know? And it's just, it's an overall, it's a boundaries issue. It is a boundaries issue. I'm like, why don't you have friends? Like, like, there was one person, like a public figure who is having a mental, like, happens a there was one person, like a public figure

who is having a mental, what happens a lot. It's having like a mental breakdown right now on TikTok. And I'm like, does this bitch not have friends or a publicist to be like, good off of social media? She's having like panic attacks on TikTok and filming her song, like, stop. So much at hotel Jordan Peterson

that he's losing his mind. Is he now? Totally. What's going on? I haven't been catching up. He's lost it. He's just like old man yells at clout, you know, all the time. Do you show pictures of your kids on the social media? I'm supposed to write an article about this. I'm wondering what you thought it's. Never. I would never. I personally, like, even if Tom and I were not public figures, I would not put my children on Instagram. Why? Well, who's looking at that stuff?

You don't know. Sure. Sure, it could be friends and family. It could be pedophiles. And it's like, it's the same reason I would not put a bumper sticker on my car that, like, my kid was student of the month at this school. Basically, you're saying, hey, kid nappers, here's where my kid is. I'm not gonna get scolded out these shirts,

and I'm like, I'm not gonna walk around with the shirt on what school they go to. Never. And look, maybe that's Los Angeles paranoia. I grew up with stranger danger in the 80s. To me, protect them, hide them, don't know anything about them. Yeah.

No way, man. And I don't can trust the laws on my podcast where my mom's at. And a Dunkin' Trustle was on my podcast where my mom's at, and we were talking about, there's this woman on Instagram who's like, here's how you get into Disney World. The first one in, and here's my, she has four sons, and here's, we're gonna have the maximum day it did. I'm up before I am, by 415, I'm doing my workout.

5am, we're in the, it's like, shut the fuck up. My morning routine before going into school. Oh my God. So the point in the, it's like, shut the fuck up. My morning routine before going into school. Oh my God. So the point is Duncan goes, well, these are child actors. These are unwilling participants. If you look at it philosophically, these are unwilling participants in her stupid Instagram feed.

She's exploiting her own kids to make a profit and to get a light. At least child actors get paid and there's certain regulations and laws that apply to it. Yes. So it's, it's not consensual. That would be very good. Are you talking about in your act?

No, here's the caveat, right? That's sticky. That's a sticky wicket, as I say. I like to talk about my reaction. I try to keep it within the emotional realm of like reactiveness. And some shits fabricated. It's all within talentales, right?

That's what I would say. Like, it's fudged a bit. Do you show pictures of them, but not their faces? No, I think that's stupid too. Why would I blur out? No, not there, but I'm just saying like, if you were showing something in their back was turned, would you show that?

Or do you know what I mean? Like, do you deny they exist? Or you just don't show them on social media? Just don't show their face. I think one time I did some video and my kids hand comes in and like you can hear their voice. But they're not gonna be in it. No, they want to be.

My oldest wants to be on YouTube already. Oh yeah, yeah. We told my son he has a YouTube channel, but they just, it just goes to the e-fers. To the e-fers. What do you, but what's your policy? What do you think? We don't show their faces at all.

Yeah. And so, like sometimes they're in the background of stuff, like YouTube videos, but again, not fake. Like, so, yeah, they're just not, not in, I think there's something, so fundamentally, when people are posting personal content on social media, like not like what we do, or it's like promoting something we're doing, but like fundamentally You're you're asking to be validated or liked or approved by to get imaginary internet points

It seems gross to use your kid as a thirst trap. Yeah, I guess what I'm saying. Yes, so I I just don't I just don't do it And we just decided not to do it from the beginning. It wasn't like a fame thing or a safety thing, although those things came later. It was just, it just felt weird to go like, we had a baby. Give us likes. Oh, that's it. And I think too, I mean, I have listened, God, I'm scandalist. I'm gonna say some shit right now. Like, oh God, what's her name? That model, Chrissy Teigen? Yeah. Like, this is horrible.

She had a miscarriage, horrible. It's arguably, besides, yeah, it's the death of your child. It is the worst thing a woman can go through. Okay, I have much sympathy. That being said, it was, it was like so weird. Oh, so did you set up the camera crew before you began crying in this photo? Or like, what's the, what's the, what are you doing here?

Sure, you know, there's a, you don't, I think you wanna, did I get that name right? Christy team. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's who you're talking about. She's got this. The one married to John Legend. Yes. That's right.

Yeah. But like, as a creative person, right? Like, all right, you, you already go through life and you're like, is this a bit like, should I, could I use, like you already think there's part of your brain that thinks, how can I use this in my work? As a writer, you think that, right? Yes. I don't think you also want to activate a part of your brain as a regular person. And then also as a creative person, that's just going like, ooh, like people will like this photo of this six-year-old. There's something creepy about,

like you're experiencing your life and then thinking, this will be good. I can come on about it. This is good content. You don't want that. It doesn't people are doing. I know. And so I think just not having,

setting a hard rule that that's not what you do eliminates the temptation or whatever the algorithm activates in your brain. I think you just don't, I deal with you don't want. So I'm friends with some influencer, like pure Instagram and pure YouTube influencers. And she was like, yeah, we went to Disneyland, this group of influencers and me.

And she's like, it was the most annoying day because all day it was like, I like it. This is a moment that we can, this is a moment. This is a moment. And I'm like, oh, my God, the misery. That's terrible. Yeah. You're taking yourself out of your life to share your life with other people who, yeah, it's not. But here's the interesting part. And I always think about this is like, if you're posting my amazing vacation, my amazing life, my everything's amazing. What you're really doing is most of the time I think inspiring envy.

Yeah. The isn't the intent to show off an inspire envy. No one, very few people are going good for you. Oh, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you, Catherine. Like nobody is stuck. Yeah, they're kind of hate following. Yeah. Like I follow people to hate like the Kardashians. I followed just the obviously I'm up on the side, guys. Like what the fuck are these idiots up to?

First of all, they look amazing. I'm thoroughly jealous and veous of their faces and their bodies. They look great. What was the point of this? I guess I'm saying I follow them. You hate the whole show. Yeah, I hate them. What was the point of this? I guess I'm saying I follow them. But I hate them. Yeah, I hate them. I'm not stoked for Kim Kardashian. You know? Sure.

Wow. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good, I think if you're getting paid for it, I have some understanding. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? If you're not, you should stay for it. Oh, if I weren't a comedian,

I wouldn't be on any of these things. I would not be on Instagram, I would not be on Facebook. But they make you like the schools do even, like you have to get on the Facebook group for this school and you're like, I don't wanna be on Facebook dude. I don't care, I don't know. Someone's those birthday, I don't give a shit. Dude, don't make me do this. Like, they make you.

Yes, no, it's, it's, it takes some strength and discipline to not get sucked in. It's easier to just do it, everyone else is doing it. But can I tell you that the reason I'm more like, no thanks, no thank you, is because I was raised analog. My brain had half of its life in analog. And I didn't get a cell phone until I was 23. Do you know what I'm saying? Like this is all new. So I can go back to a distant time. My kids, your kids. Oh, I know. Especially because of the pandemic. Like they got the

device with such a soothing sort of escape when they literally couldn't go places. It forms a weird trauma bond that I think is very hard to do. A trauma bond, hilarious. You know what I mean? Like I can feel when my son is stressed, the iPad is a place of not stress. In the same way that your room and my room was that. Do you have a weird room now? A weird room.

I mean I have the studio. Three buildings that's just all my shit. Bro, we need to build you a metal room. A heavy metal room? Yeah, yeah, dog. We could soundproof it. And then you can play your shit as loud as you want. And your wife won't hate you. Yeah, I should do that. That'll be really cool. Do you play an instrument? I was in a heavy metal land as a kid, but I haven't played a guitar in 20 years. I think you should start.

I should. One thing you're going to learn is that you're going to have your midlife crisis pretty soon. Yeah. And so you need to channel it into something productive. Not like a motorcycle or an affair or something. Exactly. I just reignited my love of goth stuff, which is why I started following Bauhaus.

That was part of my midlife crisis. And then I cut my hair off. Sure. And now I rebuy all the shirts that I had as a teenager. I've been doing that too. Mm-hmm. Oh, next you're going to get into vinyl. I've been rebye.

Well, you know, I have a, there's a vinyl record store next to the book. There you go. Perfect. I had my office look out of the vinyl record store. Get ready to rebye. Metallica's great as that. Sssss. They're playing with Pantarine L.A.

Like, made it this month, I think I'm going to go. There you go. There's your Millie Prices. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us, and it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode. day, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts.