The Daily Stoic - Don’t Disgrace Yourself | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

Francis Bacon was a brilliant philosopher whose breakthroughs reverberate through our world today. He was also a human being and a politician. Less glorious than his intellectual achievements were his travails in the public sphere, which ultimately ended in his conviction for accepting bribes.No one was more disappointed in this than Bacon, who lamented at the end of his life that he had wasted himself, “in things for which I was least fit, so as I may truly say, my soul hath been a stranger in the course of my pilgrimage.”---In today's Ask Daily Stoic, Ryan answers questions from the audience as part of his Stoicism 101 course. This is the first of a four part series, and it covers focusing on your own choices as opposed to other peoples', why trying to anticipate everything that could happen is a fool's errand, how to study Stoicism without a sense of superiority, and more.🎧 For a limited time, you can purchase The Daily Stoic ebook for only $1.99 on Kindle✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more, including the Premium Leather Edition of the Daily Stoic Journal.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. But on Fridays, we not only read this daily meditation, but I try to answer some questions from listeners and fellow stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy, whatever it is they happen to do. Sometimes these are from talks.

Sometimes these are people who come up to talk to me on the street. Sometimes these are written in or emailed from listeners. But I hope in answering their questions, I can answer your questions, give a little more guidance on this philosophy. We're all trying to follow. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background Despite off-target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward.

Listen to business wars on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't disgrace yourself. Francis Bacon was a brilliant philosopher whose breakthroughs reverberate through our world today. He was also a human being and a politician. Less glorious than his intellectual achievements were his travails in the public sphere, which ultimately ended in his conviction for accepting bribes. No one was more disappointed in this than Bacon who lamented at the end of his life that he had wasted himself,

who lamented at the end of his life that he had wasted himself, in quote for things for which I was least fit, so as I may truly say, my soul have been a stranger in the course of my pilgrimage. It's an arc that should sound familiar to any student of the Stokes because it is, in many ways, also the arc of the great Seneca. Yes, Seneca was a wise and brilliant philosopher, but as James Rom points out in his riveting biography, dying every day, Seneca was also Nero's principal advisor. In the chaotic court of Nero, Seneca was a stabilizing influence, but he did little to stop Nero's crimes. We don't know of any direct bribes, but he did grow quite rich, and just by association with such a murderer, he estranged himself from the ideals of Stoicism

and his own soul. In the end, like Bacon, Senika died a largely broken man. Yes, Senika's actual death was heroic and brave, but the road leading up to it had been shameful. Senuka had compromised and compromised himself. He had rationalized he had been silent and complicit. He had disgraced himself. The lesson here is not that the stoke should turn away from the world, that Bacon and Senuka should have simply stuck to their writings. It's that we have to strive to be like Cato in what we do. We have to strive to be like Marcus Aurelius. We have to have a code.

We have to draw clear lines. We have to correct ourselves when we step over these lines before it is too late. Sennaka himself had written that we must make ourselves a slave to philosophy. The problem was that he had been a slave less to philosophy and more to ambition and ego, which like it had for Francis Bacon and countless leaders before and since, never leads to a good place. about some other examples of when you should be focused on your own learning rather than someone else's. Like what do you mean? Focused on your own learning rather than someone else's?

If I were to, if I were to. Yeah, I think I miss rest one of the things. No, it's a thing. Oh, go ahead. The thing that we talked about was, you know, he has a little brother who's poor. And then you've got a son around that age. I do. And yes, that's a challenging age when you're a 10-year-old and you've got a four-year-old little brother. What we talk about is you can't worry about what the four-year-old's doing, right? You gotta worry about your own reactions and what you control, right?

Yeah. Yeah, so I go through this with my four-year-old and his two-year-old brother, just as your dad probably goes through this with people at work. It's very easy to focus on what other people are doing. And I think in a way, we almost focus on that because it exempts us from having to focus on our own stuff. I remember I was actually just writing about this

but several years ago I said something to my wife, we were arguing and I said, you're being very frustrating. And she said, I can't frustrate you, which of course is a very frustrating thing to say, but true, right? The Stoics believe that we're responsible for our own emotions, our own reactions. And what other people do and say is sort of up to them. And I think another place where this ties into stoicism

that's maybe a good rule to think about, perhaps sometimes your brother's getting away with something that you wouldn't be able to get away with. Like I have to talk to my sons about this where, you know, one of them is not sharing, but the other is having to share and that feels very unfair, right? But the truth is we're all at different places and we're all sort of subject to our own rules.

And this would be true for Marcus really. So imagine Marcus, he's the emperor of Rome, theoretically he can do whatever he wants. He's all powerful. And yet he has these strict rules that he insists that he follow, because he thinks that's the right thing to do. You probably imagine that he looked out and he saw other rich, successful people who got to just do whatever they wanted. While he was working late into the night, they were at their country estates or having parties, right?

And so his rule was like, I'm going to be strict with myself and tolerant with other people, which is like you give everyone else as much leeway as possible, you assume they're struggling with something that they don't understand that they're doing the best they can, and then you, which you control, that's who you hold to the highest standard possible. Does that make sense? Yeah, so it's sort of like you'll never go anywhere if you're not trying and you're just focused on how somebody else is doing. Yes, so there's a Winston Churchill quote and he says, you'll never get

anywhere if you stop to throw rocks at every dog that barks. Now, first off, you shouldn't throw rocks at dogs, but the expression is true, right? It's like if you're walking home and you stop at every time there's a problem every time, you know, someone says something every, you know, every time a dog barks at you, you'll never get there because you're never making any progress. So it's like if you're monitoring what other people are doing and you're pointing out that they're getting away

with something or that it's not fair, what you're neglecting is your own stuff, which you could be making progress on right now. Yes. Thank you so much. No, this is great. Please keep doing this. I wish that I've been introduced to this stuff as early as you have. So I'm very impressed. Thank you very much. All right. Let's do David. Cool. Hey Ryan, very cool to be able to talk to you.

Thank you. Yeah. I had a question. So pre-meditashio mororum. I think I get that. I see the benefit of it. The problem is I also kind of, like I'm totally bought into the concept of a black swan too.

I see Interferadil right over your shoulder there. I am. Black swans right here. Oh, yes. And they seem kind of like they're in conflict to me. Am I missing a nuance there or is one like macro and the other micro or? No, it's a good question.

I think when we're trying to anticipate everything that happens, it would be arrogance to believe that we we could in fact do that, right? That you're you're capable of knowing all the unknowns, right? That's obviously impossible. So I think even in understanding that black swans exist and they they could appear at any moment is itself a kind of pre-meditash of malorum that the vast majority of people are not doing. And in fact, the whole parable about the black swan is everyone assumed that because the only swans they had seen were white, all swans were white. There was not the awareness that perhaps in a foreign distant land, there were swans that were a different color. And so, it's only when I believe Australia has discovered that the first black swan, you know, is known to exist. But in truth, the

black swan was always there, right? And so, I think part of pre-meditashumalorum, it's not like, hey, I, because I'm a genius and I can predict the future, I'm aware of all the possibilities going to be one of these three options. I think it's going to be one of these three options or a fourth completely unpredictable, unknowable option. And here's how I'm prepared to be flexible. I think to let talks about this a lot, even the barbell strategy is essentially,

you don't know what's gonna happen, but you wanna be prepared that if there is some extreme unlikely event, you have some exposure to the upside of that potential event as well. Right, okay. Right. Okay. Great question, though. Let's do the other, David. Cool, thank you.

So my question has to do with, I guess, like throughout reading meditations, Marcus talks about how we should be helpful to other people, you know, human nature, like we're all on the same team. However, I find it kind of hard to like not develop some sense of superiority while doing this type of learning and studying, especially when you're at the T-DIS with how he's talking down to like, on these rants to other

people. So I wonder what your thoughts are on still, you know, not having that sense of superiority and still wanting to help other people, but still being ruthless about who you surround yourself with. Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that's where we get this idea of tolerant with others strict with yourself, which is I control me, I know what's up to me, and that's who I'm gonna hold to a high standard,

but other people I'm going to be chill with. So I think this idea of like, oh, because I've learned about this stuff, I'm better than other people. To me, that means you're not doing that sort of good-heartedness or tolerance or compassion for other people and what they're going for. And look, I think really the sign of progress or tolerance or compassion for other people and what they're going for.

And look, I think really the sign of progress or wisdom should be some intellectual humility, right? Socrates is considered wise, not because he's so much smarter than everyone in Athens and he's aware of it, but his intelligence comes from his humility, his willingness to ask questions to poke holes in his own beliefs. So as you do study, as you do get better, sure, part of that should be a higher set of standards,

confidence in yourself, perhaps a little bit of a distinction between you and other people. At the same time, you should be sort of ruthlessly skeptical, ruthlessly scrutinizing yourself and focusing on all the things you know that you need to do better that you're not as good at as you could be. And this is, I think, where you check that ego from creeping in. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. and does that make sense? Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense. Who should we do next? Let's do Todd.

Who do you wanna write? Hi. Well, first of all, I read that, that's sent a book on anger. And that was a total game changer, because I'm an actor. So I was like, I don't get angry. But I want you to start to,

just be open and start with the beginner's mind and start to like, learn and care what your assistant and what anger is, I was like, whoa, but I'm proud of my actions, but my question for today is, I actually mentioned as the belly, he adds some of my question in the chat. I was like, when we are accepting this new information, do you, when you learn a new school of thought, is revelations that you get from what you're reading.

Does that become your new belief without like read it? Because I heard you I heard you mentioned that one of your podcasts. You're like, I wish when I was younger, I would have thought about what I said instead. When I just read. Sure. when I just read it. Sure. No, to go back to your point about anger, I've got to imagine that as an actor, you have some experience getting inside an angry person and you can see not that anger is a choice,

but you can see that it's sort of like a habit or a character that one inhabits. I'm fascinated in sports, like when a coach gets angry on purpose to send a message either to like the team or to the refs. Obviously, a coach who's not in control of themselves is not good, but a coach who can get angry to send a message is good. So I would think that being an actor would be really good practice for sort of understanding

your emotions and being able to use them when they're of use to you and say, no, I'm not gonna do that when they're not to use of you. So I think that's interesting. But yeah, look, there's even a quote from Epictetus where he says, you know, when you start to make progress, when you learn something, he says,

don't put on errors about it. Like don't go on bragging about all the things that you've learned, all the progress you've made, don't just regurgitate the things that you just learned. Is that sort of that's when you get in trouble. And when I think about, maybe things that I've, when I look back at things that I read, and maybe I, sorry, that I've written

that maybe make me cringe a little bit, what I can feel is maybe some artifice, right? Like I can feel that like I, I, I didn't really know this. I just heard it and it sounded good. You know what I mean? It wasn't, I hadn't really know this. I just heard it and it sounded good. You know what I mean? And it wasn't, I hadn't really done the work, right? I might have, I might still be correct,

but I think back and I go, I was correct but for the wrong reasons, or I was correct and I was presenting it in the wrong way. And so that's sort of what I think about. One that's probably, what I think about. One that's probably you have. Yeah. So let's do Mackenzie. Hi.

Hi. I was truly not expecting that. I was like, there's so many people with their hands raised. So my question actually has to do with the newsletter from today of this idea of reading books and kind of, and I love the line you had on the podcast this morning about meeting information kind of like in the middle of the field that you might not agree with.

And I think one of the biggest challenges I have and maybe it might just be kind of my own little bubble. But when you're reading those challenging things, removing your ego long enough to say, all right, I'm going to read a Jordan Peterson. I'm going to read a challenging book and not sit here the whole time going, you idiot. Instead, like being really open, like actually open, not that line you say in ego in the end is the enemy where you're like, I'm so humble, but you don't actually mean it. No, no, it's true. I mean, I think because we have so little time to read and we love reading that generally we want to spend time reading things that make us feel good or

that are down a rabbit hole or a line of thinking that we agree with. The problem is reading should also be challenging us. And if you're only, it's like, like what I would think, what I try to think back on and I don't think my own answer is good enough, but it's like how many books, what was the last book you read that you disagreed with? Right? And I think there's two problems with that.

It's not just that we aren't reading challenging enough stuff. It's probably also that we're not digging deep enough in a topic that we're even getting more than one point of you. Right? So it's not like you should just go read the most incendiary offensive awful things, but it's just like, hey, like in any school, like, like, look, there's some, you know, classicists who think that the still eggs are brilliant. And there's some classicists who think that they're very overrated. This is a book I read a few months ago called,

How to Be an Epicurean, which is, you know, obviously to write a book on Epicureanism, you're sort of diametrically opposed to the Stokes in some way. I didn't really love this book, like, there's a bunch I disagreed with it, but that's sort of the point, like you want to be reading things, at least on a semi-regular basis that you disagree with, right? And so I think that's how I want to think about it. So it's not just reading the Jordan Peterson's, but it's also just reading deep enough and a topic

that you're getting a diverse set of views. Even if you're reading in, I don't know, critical race theory, there's obviously disagreements inside critical race theory just as there's disagreements inside libertarianism and conservatism and liberalism, where are the disagreements? Because that's, I think, where you're forced to examine your own assumptions. But as far as the more controversial views too, it doesn't have to be a book, but one of the things I learned from Peter Tio, when I wrote my book about him,

he was talking about how often we deal with straw men. So when we argue against someone, we have only the most superficial understanding of what they say or think, because like, we've never actually engaged with their point of view in any way. I think that's like when Jordan Peterson gets on these interviews and he sort of ends up

making the person look foolish, I think that often happens because they seriously underestimated him. They saw him as this like moronic caricature instead of a guy who was like a Harvard professor for many years and is clearly intelligent and articulate. So like, let's say he's totally wrong about everything, you would be well served to really go understand where he's coming from and what he's saying so that when you try to argue against it or when you hold a countervailing view that you don't end up looking like an idiot because you know, all you've read is like five tweets. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes,

that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it. I'll see you next episode. Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Ah, the Bahamas. What if you could live in a penthouse above the crystal clear ocean working during the day and partying at night with your best friends and have it be 100% paid for?

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