The Daily Stoic - Have You Considered This? | 60 Stoic Lessons In 1 Minute Or Less

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

We all have reasons we don’t like something. We think a certain comedian isn’t funny or is a hack. We think a certain author is too basic or overhyped. We think that Oscar-winning movie is total garbage. We know what’s stupid and lame, what’s low brow or trash, what’s fake and what’s real, authentic and commercial. It’s interesting how certain we are with these opinions about particular people or products. Far less often do we stop and think, “Oh maybe I’m just not the audience for that.”---And today Ryan talks about some of the surest ways to improve yourself and your life by listing 60 of the most valuable lessons that you can learn from the Stoics.✉️  Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. On Tuesdays, we take a closer look at these stoic ideas, how we can apply them in our actual lives. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy. Have you considered this? We all have reasons we don't like something. We think a certain comedian isn't funny or is a hack.

We think a certain author is too basic or overhyped. We think that Oscar-winning movie is total hack. I think a certain author is too basic or overhyped. We think that Oscar-winning movie is total garbage. We know what's stupid and lame, what's low brow or trash, what's fake and what's real, authentic or commercial. It's interesting how certain we are with these opinions about particular people and products. Far less often do we stop and think, oh, maybe I'm just not the audience for that. Stoicism itself is often the victim of this by academics. The philosophy is too simple, too self-helpy, too repetitive, they say. Daily Stoic is itself accused of that very thing by fans of Stoicism. I don't need a

coin to remind me of my mortality. Why not just read the original text instead of some modern book? read the original text instead of some modern book. But again, what if maybe just maybe it's not for you? Maybe it's for someone else. Maybe someone who is struggling. Maybe someone who just wants to relax at the beginning of the end of the day. Someone who needed a reminder. Someone with a very different experience or preference than you. Someone with different needs than you at this very moment. The wiser and smarter we get should not correspond with an increase in snootiness or elitism. On the contrary, we should become more understanding, more accepting. We've talked many times about the idea of being strict with yourself and tolerant of others.

Nowhere should that idea be more applied than when it comes to taste. Push yourself, have strong or exacting opinions for what you consume for what you like. Sure, but why on earth would you feel the need to have an opinion on what other people like? Why would you want to denigrate what they are getting something out of? Why would you want to step on their joy? Focus on your journey. Leave everyone else to their own. Less of course you have a helpful suggestion or a recommendation just as others have given you, in which case, be a good fan and provide it.

Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wundery's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. There's an amazing story about Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller who wrote Catch 22 and Slotter House 5. They're at the party, this billionaire. And Vonnegut is teasing Heller and he says,

this billionaire who's house ratut is teasing Heller and he says, this billionaire whose house we're at, he made more money this week than your book will make it its entire life. Heller says, but I have something that he doesn't have. Vonnegut says, what's that? Heller says, I have some idea of what enough is. He says, I have enough.

This idea of enough is so powerful. Seneca, who quotes Epicurus, says, if you don't regard what you have as enough, you will never be happy, even if you rule the entire world, right? Enough is never enough, the Epicurians in the Stoic say, for the person who enough is too little. And if you can get to a place of enough,

what I have is good, everything else is extra, then everything you get is a bonus, and the rest of your life is amazing. But if you tell yourself you'll only be happy if, if I'll feel better when, you'll never get there. The finish line will move, I promise you, enough is enough. Seven Stoic don'ts, things you must stop doing right now

according to the Stoics. Don't be overheard complaining, not even to yourself, as Mark really says. Don't talk more than you listen, two ears, one mouth, that's you know. Don't tie your identity to things you own because those things are fragile because those things can be taken from you at any moment. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't suffer imagined troubles as Seneca says. It'll either happen or it won't.

Don't suffer before you need to. Don't judge others. Strict with others. Toler. That's Marx to realize. Remember you mess up too, so don't judge other people. And finally, don't overindulge in food or drink. This is the idea of temperance. It's about balance. It's about the right amount. So those are seven stoic don't stop doing right now. Three lessons for Marx to realize. Number one, It's not what happens. It's how we respond to what happens. He says, the impediment to action allows us an opportunity to move forward to try a different action. Number two, he says, ask yourself at every moment, is this essential?

Do I really need to do this? And he says, when you do less, you get the double benefit of doing less better. The third thing from Marcus Aurelis, this would be the exercise of momentum more. He said, you could leave life right now, let that determine what you do and say and think. He says, let every action, every decision,

every thought be that of a dying person. When you think about life that way, it gives you urgency, it gives you clarity, and it lets you see what actually matters. Nine short rules for a better life. Number one, wake up early, attack the morning. Two, focus on effort not results. You control the effort, you control what you put in, what

comes out the other side, that's not up to you. Read every day, you should always be reading. Reading is the greatest invention there ever was. Read every day. You have to read as general mattresses if you don't read, you are functionally illiterate. Strict with yourself, tolerant with others. Again, you control what you do, you control the standards, you hold yourself to, but it's called self discipline for a reason you can't expect other people to live the same way you do.

Seek out challenges, be comfortable, being uncomfortable, push yourself, that's how you get better. By lifting heavy things is how you get stronger, challenging yourself is how you get better. Stay a student. Always stay a student. Focus on what there is left to learn, not what you've already discovered. That's how scientists, that's how geniuses, that's how creators get better by focusing on what there is left to learn. Cut toxic people out of your life. Life is too short. Have good boundaries if they're not making your life better.

Buy. Think about death. Memento Mori, we were all born with a fatal diagnosis to take life for granted is an incredible waste. And that's what Santaica says. It's not the life is short. It's that we waste a lot of it. And finally, and I'm repeating this one because it's so important. Focus on what you control, right? You control what you do, you control what you say, you control what you think, control what you put in, everything else, not up to you, not worth your focus. People suck, it's harsh, but it's true. I mean, Mark's a realist opens meditations with musing on how much people suck,

how they lie and cheat and steal and are motivated by silly, ridiculous things. It's true, people suck. But he also says in Meditations, look, the only thing that's not worthless in this life is to do what's right, is to be good, and then he says to be patient with those who aren't, right? That's what we're doing.

People do suck, people are problematic. People do present countless obstacles to us. And yet that is an opportunity to practice deicism, to practice self-discipline, to practice fairness, even in the face of unfairness. So, a stoic takes reality as it is unflinchingly, and it doesn't change what they believe their obligation is in this world. If you do anything that matters, people will have really strong opinions about you. That's just

like a fact of life. If you don't like that, don't do anything. And we can imagine that people had strong opinions about Marx Relays and Seneca and Epictetus. Anyone that's just like a fact of life. If you don't like that, don't do anything. And we can imagine that people had strong opinions about Marx Relays and Seneca and EpicTidus. Anyone that's ever put themselves out there in the realm of ideas or in the arena of life, people have criticized. But you have to be able to tune that out. Marx Relays is, we love ourselves more than other people,

for some reason we care about their opinions more than their own. I love all get criticized for my books, the person you're like, oh, he did X, Y, and Z, as a criticism. But it's like, that's exactly what I was trying to do. And you realize, oh, not only is this person's opinion like not worth listening to, if you heard it properly, you'd see that they were actually complimenting you.

So you have to be able to tune out what other people say and do you have to focus on what you do, that's what the Stokes take, to develop kind of an inner scorecard where you understand what you were trying to do, how you judge or measure your success, and it can't have anything to do with critics, with doubters, with haters, with your parents, with your spouse. It has to be based on your own understanding of what you're trying to do, of who you're

trying to be as a person. That's what matters and that's what you measure yourself by. The Stokes are masters of one-liners liners and I wanna give you five of the best all-time stoic one liners. Number one from Epic Titus, if you wanna be beautiful, make beautiful choices. Number two from Seneca, we suffer more in imagination than reality.

Number three from Marcus Realis, we love ourselves more than other people, but for some reason we care about their opinions more than our own. For, for Marcus Realis, you always have the right to have no opinion about this. You can always think nothing about this. And finally, Zeno, you have two ears, but only one mouth for reasons. You have to stop putting stuff off, right? You just have to stop putting stuff off.

Marcus Realis says, you could be good today, but instead you choose tomorrow. Epic Titus asks, how much longer are you gonna wait to demand the best from yourself? Stop putting stuff off. There's this great Latin expression. It just translates to, do it if you're gonna do it. It's like the Nike slogan, just do it.

Don't put it off. If it matters, if it's worth doing, do it now. Because the truth is now you have for certain. You don't know that you have tomorrow. It's arrogant to think that you can get to this next year. It's arrogant to think you'll do that when you retire. Now is now. Do it now.

Don't put it off. Do it now. Some things you should stop doing according to the Stokes. Stop complaining. Stop focusing on what you don't control. Stop acting like you're going to live forever. stop hearing the future, stop regretting the past, because you don't control either. Stop chasing fame.

What good is posthumous fame, Mark Srelis says you'll be dead. Stop being selfish, work for the common good. And what should you start doing? You should start being your best self following these four-stroke virtues, courage, justice, temperance, wisdom. You get up early. You just, you have to get up early, even though you don't want to. Marcus Relis says, what were you made to stay under

the covers and be warm? No, you were put on this planet to do something. Dante says, under the blankets is no way to fame. You get up early and you do something, you go for run, you ride in your journal, you sit quietly and watch the sunrise, you meditate. I don't care what you do, but it still gets up early. They own the morning

because owning the morning is a critical part of owning the day. These are six stoic keys to smashing your anxiety, to getting rid of it, to not being controlled by it. Number one, this is the core exercise of soosism.

Is this in my control? We worry about things, we stress about things because we're acting as if that matters, as if it makes a matters, as if it makes a difference, as if it's having an impact, and of course it doesn't. Don't suffer imagined troubles, Senaika says, meaning don't borrow, suffering, don't torture yourself because of what might happen in the future. Just think about the zoom out. Think about all the things you've been worried

in your life, how often have those things actually happened, more often than not, your worries are worse than reality. Sometimes you be anxiety by zooming way out looking at the 10,000-foot view, looking at it from Plato's view as Mark's really says, other times it's zooming way in looking at it up close, not being overwhelmed by the totality of it, but we always have the ability to shift our perspective. This is what the stoves call the discipline of perception. We have the practice at all. Marcus really says in meditation, today I escaped my anxiety. This is no way, wait, wait, wait. I discarded it.

It's within me. It's a feeling inside you that you're bringing to the situation. It's your expectations. It's your worries. It's your demands. It's your fears. It's your hopes. Marcus really says, ask yourself, is this necessary?

Does it actually matter? Do I need to do it? Will it make a difference? Why do I even care about this? The best way to still say to be anxiety is think about the things that you have been through before. March 1st says, how do you meet the problems of tomorrow? But the same weapons that you have today, with the same way that you've gotten through adversity before. I think that's one lesson for the pandemic. Maybe you wondered before, could you have lived through the kinds of things that your ancestors lived through? Well, the answer is yes, of course.

Senaika says, you know what you're capable of. You don't need to be anxious. You've been through crazy shit. Maybe in some ways it improved you. You made changes, you learned things. You don't have to be anxious because you're more capable than you know. And you should know how capable you are

by looking at the things you have been through before. Look at your track record. You have evidence. Some things the Stoics say you should not do, that you should never do. One, don't be overheard complaining even to yourself. That's Mark's realist. Two, don't put on airs about your self improvement. That's Epic Titus.

He says, don't talk about it, be about it. Don't overindulge in eating or drinking moderation is key. That's Musonious Rufus. And Zeno says, two ears, one mouth for a reason. Don't speak more than you listen. Don't do those things and you have a good life. Stoic, don't.

Number one, don't waste time. Senaqa says that the craziest thing is that we protect our property, we protect our money, but we waste our time. Even though it's a truly non-renewable resource. Number two, forget about revenge. You're not gonna get even with someone they are punishing themselves. Marcus really says the best revenge

is to not be like that. Don't be caught off guard. Senaq says the only inexcusable thing for a leader to say is I did not think that could happen. The art of pre-metatoshomalorum for the Stokes was negative visualizations, preparing in advance for what could happen and having a plan for it.

Final one is a reminder for Marcus Aureo is that you don't need to have an opinion about this. He says, you always have the power of having no opinion. It doesn't concern you. It's not something you control. If it's pointless gossip or trivia, ignore it. Just let it be, let other people be concerned with it, but let it float on by and don't get caught up in it. There's this story about George

Clooney, he has this transformational moment in his career. He realized that they want to hire some, they have to hire some, that they have a problem, and that he realizes that by seeing himself as the solution to that problem, his mindset shifts. The Stoics talk about the discipline of perception, how we see things is everything. Epictetus says this. He says it's not famous at upsets. It's our judgment about things. The other way is true also. Deciding to see this thing as an opportunity, see yourself as a solution to a problem, as opposed to seeing yourself as this person who's begging for something, who's desperate for something. That attitude shift, that perspective shift,

can be everything. Why did you expect anything different from people? This don't say, of course they're gonna act like this. Look at what they believe, look at who they are. Have you studied history? Have you met a human being before? Look, if you are disappointed in people, if you are frustrated in people, that's on you.

You brought that to them, You projected that on them. You set yourself up to be disappointed. Be strict with yourself, tolerant with others. That's what the stokes say. Don't go around expecting people to be anything other than they have always been. And you will not only be happier, you will be kinder and more patient and more successful.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. You have to remember that your anxiety is not being caused by external things. Your frustrations are not being caused by external things. No one is responsible for your emotions by yourself. I know that's easy to say. It's very hard to put in practice. I struggle with it all the time. But that's the idea.

Mark's really says, I escaped my anxiety today. There's no, I discarded it because it was within me. He is the cause of his own anxiety. He is what brings that to external events, not the other way around. We have to remember that always. No one can make you upset, no one can make you mad, no one can make you sad, no one can make you feel inferior as Eleanor Roosevelt says, without your consent,

we are complicit in those emotions. We choose to have them external things are not responsible for them. All the quotes we've posted on Daily Story consistently, the most popular is this one from Center. He says, we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Meaning, anxiety, worry, doubt, we're sort of projecting out into the future all these terrible things that might happen. And this makes us miserable. It also makes us unprepared.

It makes us reject the present moment. It makes us unable to do what we should be doing. So, a stoic does not suffer imagined troubles. Yes, we're prepared for anything. Yes, we sometimes think about what the worst case scenario is. That's what pre-meditational malorum is. But what we don't do, Senaika, says, is borrow suffering. Suffer before we need to suffer in anticipation of things, we look at things as they are right now,

that's what we're going to deal with. One of my favorite quotes from Marcus Realise, he says, you know, you don't have to have an opinion about that. And I just think about that all the time. I don't have to have an opinion about this. I can just let it be, I can ignore it, I can realize it doesn't pertain to me,

or I can just see it as it is. I don't need to say that it's good or bad, fair or unfair. It just is, I'm gonna look at it as an objective piece of information. It doesn't need me projecting my thoughts or the least of perceptions on it. It is. You don't have to have an opinion about this. There's this amazing story about Ulysses S. Grant. He's this promising young military officer. He serves honorably in the Mexican-American War. But then something goes wrong. He basically

ends up working for his dad selling firewood by the side of the road. And one of his old friends from West Point comes by one day and he says, good God, Grant, what are you doing? And Elyseas S. Grant just looks at him and he says, I'm solving the problem of poverty. Meaning that Grant doesn't care that he's doing this so-called menial job or that it's a humiliating occupation.

All he cares about is that he's providing for his family, he's doing a good job. He knows that it doesn't say anything about him as a person. It's crazy to think that just a few years later, Grant would be the head of an enormous army and a few years after that, he'd be the president of the United States to accept it without arrogance, to let it go

within difference. You don't let the lowly position change who you are and you don't let the high position change who you are either. None of it goes to your head. You know none of it says anything about you as a person and that's what really matters. Everything you say yes to means you're saying no to something else. It took me forever to realize this. I just said yes to giving a talk in Florida. It was great. They paid me. It was a cool opportunity. But in saying yes to that, I said no to being at home that night with my kids. I said no to my writing routine. I said no to my normal exercise routine. Serendipitous

things they don't even know about. I said no to so many things. When you say yes to something, you're saying no, something else, right? But Mark really says when you say no to things, you get the double benefit. Not only are you not doing the inner central things that you don't need to be doing, but in saying No, you are saying yes to the things that really matter. We know the Stoics were big on routine. Santaica says life without design is erratic. So some daily practices from the Stoics that everyone can use, wake up early, spend some time with a journal, think about value you can create for other people for the world,

concentrate like a Roman markets really says like the thing you're doing is the last thing you're doing in your life. Work for the common good. He says, the fruit of this life is good character and act for the common good. Schedule, keep a routine. Antoninus Pius was notorious. His day was so scheduled, his diet was so constrained.

He set up a life where he didn't even have to take a lot of bathroom breaks. And then, Senaqa talks about putting your day up for review. At the end of the day, stop and think, what could I have done better? What can I improve? What difference did I make? How did I improve myself?

And then, as we go to bed, the Stokes say, think about that this was your last day on Earth, your life is over. And then, when you wake up the next day, you're grateful. Because it's all bonus time, it's all extra. You're playing with house money, and that's how the stokes go through life with a wonderful routine design.

And life, as Senaqa says, without design, is erratic. Three things I learned from RoboCreen. One, mastery requires a long apprenticeship, either under a great master, painful trial and error, but to be great at something, it takes a very long time, and the education phase of it is the longest period. Number two, he told me once when I was thinking of leaving my job in American apparel, that life can be defined by a lifetime or dead time. Are you learning and getting better or are you killing time? Would always be learning and getting better,

always focus on how we can use the moment in front of us. The third and the most important lesson is even if you want to be a good person, even if you want to be nice and friendly and generous, it doesn't change the fact that you have to understand the laws of power. You have to understand how people are acting in the world and the forces that make them do what they do. Three things I learned from Tim Ferris. Number one, and I learned this very early from him, he said, look at what an hour of your time is worth, and then try to pay people to do anything that's less than that amount, right?

And this is so hard because if you come from a sort of a middle class background, you're used to doing stuff for yourself. It feels reckless to pay for people. But time is your only non-renewable resource. And so to spend it doing things that you're not the best at is a complete waste of time. The second thing, and this was really life changing for me,

he said, think of everything as an experiment. So as you go through life, if you're thinking about dropping out of college, don't think about it as a irrevocable life decision. Think about it as an experiment where you take a year off. If you think about quitting your job, it's the same thing. If you think about any change in your lifestyle, move into a new city, see it as an experiment. And the third thing is, you know, Tim was not the first person to start a blog.

He's not the first person to get a Twitter account, he's not the first person to be an angel investor, he was not the first person to start a podcast. You don't have to be first, you just have to do the thing really well, you have to do it better than most people, and an eventually quality will find its audience. So those are three things I learned from my friend Tim Ferris. When you meet an annoying, obnoxious, rude person, Marcus really says, ask yourself, is a world without rude, obnoxious, frustrating people possible?

Is it likely? The answer is, of course not. So he says, okay, you met one of those people. But why is this surprising to you? It says, it takes the sting out of the obnoxiousness, the rudeness, the selfishness, to realize you met one of a number, right? If it's 10%, one in 10 people that you meet will be annoying.

So you can't be surprised when you meet them. You come to terms with it. So I love this exercise because it just turns down the volume for me on all the frustrations. This is one of those people. It's, I'm gonna meet them sometimes, not gonna get too bent out of shape about it. And this is true, when you meet someone who steals,

when you meet someone who lies, when you meet someone who cheats. Certain percentage of people are going to do that. And we're fooling ourselves to pretend that they won't. So when you meet them, say, this is one of those numbers, I'm not one of those numbers, and then you move on. There's a great line, Comparison is the thief of joy. Comes to us from theodore Roosevelt.

When you compare yourself to others, you feel like you have less, you feel like you are less. And in Meditations, Marcus says, Marcus says, think about how silly it is that we envy people without really thinking about who they are and what their lives are like. And then he says, think about all the people that are envious of you think about how you yourself would be envious of yourself if you suddenly didn't have what you have

and you were someone else, right? The idea for the Stokes is to do these kind of thought exercises to combat these emotional impulses or temptations we have or destructive thought patterns. Like, you don't need to be jealous of other people. First off, because other people are probably jealous of you, and you'd be jealous of yourself if your situation was different. So the idea of just being satisfied with what you have of accepting what you have of letting what you have be enough, that's everything. As Epicurus says quoted by Seneca, enough will never be enough for the person to whom enough is too little.

The secret to life, to happiness, to relationships, according to the Stoic, is one thing. It's taking a minute before you respond, right? The Stoic say, we don't control what happens, we control how we respond. Victor Frankel talks about between the stimulus and the response, there's a moment.

And in this moment, in this brief instance, this is when we choose who we are, what we're gonna be, what's important to us. You don't have to respond right away, you can wait. Put a second of pause in there. Just wait a beat, right? You can be angry, you can have an angry reaction. You can be angry, you can be provoked,

you can be frustrated, you can be scared. You don't have to take an action based on that emotion. You have the ability to choose what you do in response. If you take a minute, you're probably going to respond better. Theater Roosevelt considers inviting Booker 2 Washington to the White House, that the first black man ever be allowed to die as a guest at the White House. But he hesitates because he thinks for a second about the political consequences,

he thinks about the controversy, he thinks about the backlash, he thinks even about some of his own southern relatives. But then Theodore Roosevelt writes that precisely because he hesitated, he felt ashamed and he knew that he had to do it. And I think there's something about hesitation that is showing us that this is actually

precisely the thing that we need to do. When the Stokes talk about courage, when they talk about this idea that courage is calling, we should expect that sometimes we're going to hesitate, sometimes we're going to let it ring a few times, but it's precisely when we are most hesitant, when we are afraid, that we are getting really strong important information, that this is precisely the thing that we should do, and that this is precisely the direction that we should go. You have to be willing to look stupid. That's what Epic Tidus says. He says, if you wish to improve, you must be willing to look clueless

or stupid about some things. I think that means one, you have to be willing to ask dumb questions. If you don't ask, you can't learn. If you're afraid of what other people think, you'll never learn what you don't know. But I think the other part is you have to be willing to not care about stuff, right?

To be like, I don't care about that. I'm not following that. I'm out of touch about that. That's one part. And I think the other part is you have to be willing to be bad at stuff, right? To be at the beginner stages, to be embarrassingly figuring it out, to be mediocre, to be in the process of rediscovering or changing or growing. So if you want to improve the jokes that you have to be willing to look stupid,

to look embarrassed, to be ridiculous, to not be good, because that's how you get from where you are to where you wanna go. If I had to give you stoses and in the simplest definition, I possibly could, I'd just say this. The stokes believed it's not what happens, that's important, it's how we respond to what happens.

We don't control the outside world, but we control what we do in reaction to the outside world. We control how we rise to face obstacles. We decide what we make of the opportunities that life throws at us. We don't control what happens. We control how we respond. That's Stoicism.

You have two options. Want things to turn out a certain way, or you could welcome them the way they happen. Epic Titus says, he says, you could want them to turn out as you want them to turn out a certain way, or you could welcome them the way they happen. Epic teedas says, he says, you could want them to turn out as you want them to, or you could decide that you want them to turn out how they've turned out. And so this is essentially the discipline for the Stoics, this is the discipline of Ascent.

Are you gonna wish things are a certain way or you're gonna accept them as they are? That doesn't mean you accept the injustices of the world, per se. But it means if it's raining, you're happy that it's raining. If it's cloudy, you're happy that accept them as they are. That doesn't mean you accept the injustices of the world per se, but it means if it's raining, you're happy that it's raining. If it's cloudy, you're happy that it's cloudy. If it's sunny and hot, you're happy that it's sunny and hot. If you're born short, you're happy that you're short.

If you're tall, you're happy that you're born tall. You accept things as they are. You make the most of it. This is what the idea of a more botty is. Accept things, be happy that things are the way that they are, that you are given what you've been given, and then get to work using it. That's what Stoicism is about. You don't have to let this get to you, for Xperia says, you don't have to let it upset you.

You always have the option to have no opinion, he says. You can just let it go. You can let it drift by like clouds as the beatists talk about when they talk about thoughts. You don't have to let it sink in. Don't have to let it warm. You don't have to let it get you riled up. You don't have to get worked up.

You don't have to respond. You can just let it go. I want you to know that. Don't have to let this get to you. You can just let it go. Stoicism is incredibly simple. It's one thing. It's the idea that we don't control what happens,

but we always control how we respond to what happens. We decide what we're gonna make of it. We decide what we're gonna do in response to it. We don't control the outside world. We control our own internal world, our thoughts, our emotions, our reactions. That's it. Very little is needed for a happy life

according to the Stokes. Moussone is Rufus, one of the great Stokes, he's exiled four times. And what does he learn losing everything? He learns how much he was taking for granted. Yes, he misses Rome, he doesn't like being far away, but he reminds himself, did I actually experience Rome while I was there?

What do I actually need to be happy? He says, I need a little bit of food, I need water, I need sunshine. I had those things in Rome. He sort of noticed that he's like one of those people that lives in New York City and brags about all its amenities, but he never took advantage of them. And he realized that actually the simple life was better.

The simple life was more philosophical. And then he needed very little to be happy and that what he had was enough. It's funny, the biggest book project I ever sold, I wasn't trying to think of my next project, I wasn't trying to make money, I was actually on a hike with my family, with my kids. We were outside, we were out in nature,

I wasn't thinking about work at all. And suddenly the idea for my next series, actually a series of four books popped into my head. And I've been working on that now for two years, it was lucrative, but more than that, it was creatively fulfilling and challenging. It's all these things. And that came because I took a few moments of stillness.

I decided to go on the hike. I put work aside. And as it happened, work popped into my head. I'm looking at the sunset on my farm. And it's moments like this, when you're actually not working, when you're consciously not thinking, that sometimes your best work, your best ideas pop into your head.

That was true for the stokes. It's true for the great artists of all time. And it's true for you and I and normal people. You gotta have time for stillness and reflection and peace. Sena Katak's about taking wandering walks, about giving the mind over to relaxation. It's more important than you think.

And in fact, it may be where the biggest breakthrough of your life comes from. One of the best stories in all of Stoicism comes at the founding of Stoicism. Zino, he's this successful merchant who comes from a long family of merchants and he suffers a shipwreck and he loses everything. He washes up an Athens, he has nothing. And there he discovers philosophy. That's how Stoicism starts. And so reflecting on this journey, this this thing that he never

would have wished happening, changing the entire course of his life, and then in now history, we wouldn't be talking had he not gone through this? He says, I made a prosperous voyage when I suffered a shipwreck, meaning the worst thing that ever happened to him was actually the best thing that ever happened to him. And that's what Astoec says, we don't control what happens, bad stuff is going to happen,

but we control how we respond to it, we control, we turn it into, and whatever it is, whatever metaphorical shipwreck you're going through, you can make it a prosperous voyage if you think about it that way. You have to remember that your anxiety is not being caused by external things, your frustrations are not being caused by external things. No one is responsible for your emotions by yourself. I know that's easy to say, it's very hard to put in practice.

I struggle with it all the time, but that's the idea. Mark's through this. I escaped my anxiety today. He says, no, I discarded it because it was within me. He is the cause of his own anxiety. He is what brings that to external events, not the other way around. We have to remember that always. No one can make you upset. No one can make you mad. No one can make you sad. No one can make you feel inferior. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, without your consent, we are complicit in those emotions. We choose to have them. External things are not responsible for them.

You do the right thing, and then nobody notices, or you do the right thing, and then you see somebody else get away with doing the wrong thing. This is frustrating, it's annoying, it's demoralizing. But Mark Smith says, you can't think about that. He says, you don't look for the third thing. You did something good, that's one thing. You felt good for doing it.

The third thing is recognition, credit, reciprocation, acknowledgement. Don't think about that. Your job is to do the right thing, to be a good person, to do what you know is right, to do what you think the situation calls for, to do the things other people aren't willing to do. Everything else is extra. Do you get it? Sometimes, sure. Great. Enjoy it when you do, but you can't look for it. You can't expect it do. Everything else is extra. Do you get it? Sometimes, sure. Great.

Enjoy it when you do, but you can't look for it. You can't expect it because one, it's unnecessary. Two, it'll disappoint you when you don't get it. Three, if you're doing it for that thing and you repeatedly don't get it, which is true you won't, you'll be demoralized and you won't keep doing it. So you do it because it's the right thing. Everything else is extra.

Epic Titus would ask, how much longer are you going to wait to demand the best for yourself? Arxria says, like, you could be good today, but instead you choose tomorrow, we put stuff off. This is the resistance. Stephen Pressfield, the great writer, says it's not that we say, I'm never gonna write my symphony. I'm never gonna go out for that.

I'm never gonna put myself out there. We say I'm gonna do it tomorrow. We wait, we put it off. And the stokes say, you can't do it, you gotta do it. Now, Seneca says, all fools have this one thing in common. They're always beginning to live. They're getting ready to live. They're not doing it now.

They put it off. You can't put it off. Procrastination is the enemy. It's the enemy of progress. It's the enemy of the present moment. The enemy of doing your best. Don't put stuff off. Don't do it later.

Don't say I'm gonna work out tomorrow. Don't put it off, do it now. Five rules from the Stoics that will help you handle rude and difficult people in your life. First and foremost, let's give them the benefit of the doubt. Marcus Reelin says you have to recognize in the wrongdoer a nature similar to your own, there us, we are them. Two, except that rude people are a part of life, they are inescapable.

Wake up in the morning and tell yourself I'm going to see rude people are a part of life. They are inescapable. Wake up in the morning and tell yourself, I'm gonna see rude people, I'm gonna see idiots, I'm gonna see selfish people. It's a fact of life. You can't go around being surprised when you see something you knew you were gonna see. Three, the best revenge to the Stokes is living well. Mark Serely says, the way you get even is by not being like that.

Four, try to be indifferent. We wanna live a good life, Marcus Aurelia says, and then be indifferent to what makes no difference. If other people suck, if other people get away with being awful, is that gonna change us? Is that gonna make us wanna be different? No, it doesn't matter. Five, we wanna zoom way, way, way out.

When you see things from a distance out of an airplane window, it becomes so much smaller, you don't take these people so seriously, and then you move on and you focus on what's up to you. Mark really didn't like people. You can't read meditations and not see this. He opens meditations with a meditation on how frustrating and obnoxious other people are. And even this idea, this idea of the obstacle is the way.

That quote is him talking about other people, about how people get in our way, how people present obstacles, but he says that in that obstacle, there's an opportunity to actually practice this philosophy that you say you believe, to be good in spite of other people, to be just in the face of injustice, to be temperate, in the face of intemperance that's being rewarded, to be courageous when everyone else is being cowardly and to be rewarded for it.

So for the Stoics, people are frustrating, people are an obstacle, but like all obstacles, they're also the way, there's something challenged we can rise to meet, we can be better for wrestling with other people's difficulties. So don't resent people, use them to become better. The sad fact is that the world has always been ugly and awful people have always been selfish and cruel and short-sighted. Marcus Aurelius is there in the decline and fall of the Roman Empire. Senaqa has to live under Nero's rule in fact five other terrible emperors in his lifetime. I really like this passage from Marcus Aurelius. You see, lists all the crappy things that he's going to experience that day and he says,

but no one can implicate me in ugliness. You can still be good, you can still be you. You don't have to give up. You don't have to get down and dirty with it. You stay above it. You stay true to yourself. That's all you can do. You are going to die.

That is a fact. We are all going to die. Death is the prophecy that never fails. Every single one of us that was born is going to die. I wear this ring on my finger. It says, Memento Mori. What does that mean? Memento Mori means you're going to die.

Mark's really says, you could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think. He says, let every thought and action be that of a dying man. I promise if you live with death in mind, you will live better. You will live more fully and you will be so much happier. The joke about Winston Churchill was that he spent his whole life practicing his impromptu remarks. That what people thought was off the cuff, what people thought was just perfect timing, was in fact perfectly practiced and perfectly scripted. We want to think that it just happened, but great things don't usually just happen.

They were practiced, they were prepared, they were meticulously done, they were boiled down to their very essence. And so you have to realize that you're not gonna be great off the cuff. You have to practice, you have to prepare, you have to go over, you have to toss out all the things that were pretty good, but not good enough. When you read meditations, it feels so perfectly done. It's almost inconceivable that this was a man's private

diaries. This is what he settled on after crossing out 100 extra versions. This is the best of his insights over years decades of his life If you want to be great you have to practice you have to prepare you have to go over it over and over and over again You have to have extremely high standards only then does it look effortless? I don't know who needs to hear this but the best revenge whatever they did However hurtful it was the best revenge according to the stoats is to not be like that.

Marcus Ruez was betrayed, he was hurt, he was screamed again, he saw awful frustrating people, but he realized that the best revenge is to not be like that. Does that mean there's no accountability that there's never punishments, that there's no justice? No, of course not, that is part of leadership and it's part of life.

But the revenge, the way to get payback is not to inflict your anger on other people, It's not to be like them. It's to be not like them. Because you realize that that is not only the wrong thing to do, but it's punishment to yourself. One of my favorite passages in all of meditations, Mark Sereo's talks about being the rock that the waves crash over and eventually fall still around. There's something really special about water. I just went for this swim and like, miss again. But I'm just standing here by the water,

listening to the waves, trying to sort of slow myself down. I have a talk I have to give later today, I have to travel later today, but bunch of stuff I have to do. But I want to get in that place of stillness. Eustemia, ascetic, it talks about. At tranquility, I want to get to a place of peace. Even though everything is crazy,

it's slowing down around me and I'm gonna be able to do what I have to do for the day. You have to search for this idea that struggle is difficult or like to title your book, the obstacle is the way. Like getting through things is how you build a stronger foundation, it's how you develop characters, how the mind understands how to manage difficult situations. When I think it's a transferable skill, so like you're doing it in the cold plan, you're running, or fighting, or whatever,

and then when I'm working on a book and books are hard, you know, and they're like halfway through, I'm like, this isn't coming together, this sucks, should I stop? I'm like, I know this feeling very well. And I know that you don't listen to this feeling. So like, fuck off. Because you're gonna go through hard things in life and you wanna have cultivated a sense of like, not quitting. You think so hard.

Three key lessons from the stoke. Number one, a more fotted. It happened, it is what it is, fighting against it, resisting it, wishing it were otherwise, it doesn't make it so. You accept it and then you work with it. You don't resent your face, you embrace your face, can you make the most of it? Two, it's about what we do for and with other people.

Yeah, it's a philosophy of individualism. But Mark Smith talks about the common good like 40 times in meditations. He says, the fruit of this life is good character and acts for the common good. It's about leaving this place a little bit better than we found it. It's not just about us. It's about what we do for others. And then three, and I think this puts the others in perspective.

It's the idea of Memento Mori. You've been dying since the minute you were born. Life is very short, the stoves would say. Memento Mori don't take a second, a person, an experience for granted, be present for it, enjoy it, momentum more. The first thing you have to do is just not make stuff worse. As Marx realizes how much more harmful are the consequences

of anger and grief than the circumstances that arouse them in us. That was today's entry in the Daily Stone. Mark's to really sort of agree with the first rule of holes, which is that when you're in one, stop digging. Just don't make it worse. So often our overreactions, our emotional reactions, the way we take things

personally, the way we despair, it takes a hard problem and it makes them worse. So today, what I want you to do is just focus on not adding to your troubles. As Sena says, I choose not to be a hindrance to myself. I choose not to complain about what's happened. I'm gonna focus on what I can do with what happened. So the idea for this though is,

we don't make our problems worse. We focus on what we control, how we can make them better, and we just get to work. It's impossible to learn that what you think you already know. That's epic to this describing, I think, what ego does to us. If you think you already know something,

you're prevented from learning. If you think you know, you won't ask questions. If you think you know, you can't get corrected. So actually all knowledge, all improvement comes from a place of humility. Socrates is considered wise, not because of what he knew, but because of what he knew he didn't know. And the Socratic method is what?

It's the asking of questions. So certain statements are the antithesis of knowledge. Questions, openness, curiosity is the way to wisdom. Stuff happens, right? A pandemic comes and disrupts your life. You get dumped. You get robbed. You make a mistake that costs you a business or an opportunity. Someone hurts you. Someone breaks

your heart. Stuff is going to happen in life. The question the Stoic say is, what did you learn? What did you take from this that makes you better? When we talk about this idea of the obstacle is the way. One of the ways we can always turn an obstacle into an opportunity is by learning from what caused this by learning about ourselves for going through it by learning how to prevent it from happening next time by experiencing something going through something acquiring something through the experience that makes us better in the future. So the question today, whatever you're going through, whatever you're regretting, whatever you're dreading is, but what did I learn? What will I learn from this? How will I be better for having gone through it?" So this is what's crazy about Marcus. So Marcus, Liz and Rome, the Roman speak Latin, but the philosophical language at that time was Greek. So Marcus was writing to himself in Greek. When you read those passages, or you listen to them, and you're just like,

that is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Like, there's this one passage where he's like, he talks about this, a stock of grain bending low under its own weight, the way it all falls to the ground. He talks about the way that when you put bread in the oven, it breaks open on top, and we don't know why that happens. It's just this like beautiful, inadvertent, active nature. He's just like writing like a a poet, a great writer,

and again, he's writing in his non-native tongue to himself never expecting anyone would see it. It'd be like finding out that a comedian is like funny in their diary. You're just like, wow, you're just naturally bad. You're not turning it on or off. It's just intuitively part of you. There's a great expression that you become like your friends.

Show me who you spend time with, the expression goes, and I'll show you who you are. The Stoics have a slightly different tweak on that. They say you become what you give your attention to. So if you watch nothing but polarizing political news, you are going to become a polarizing politics obsessed person. If you watch nothing but celebrity gossip, if you spend all your time following influencers on Instagram, you will become like that. But if you immerse yourself in great book,

if you look for things that are positive, things that are empowering, that is also what you will become. You become what you pay attention to, you become where you focus. The next thing is we are dyed by the color of our thoughts. I think we're also died by the influences. We are what we eat, what we put in through our eyes and our ears. So what are your influences? What are you taking in that's going to determine who you are and most of all? I think it will determine the quality of your life. Commander James Doctile is shot down over Vietnam and as he's parachuting down into death

or capture, he actually says to himself, I believe in the world of technology entering the world as epictetus. The most fascinating part of Stockdale in this prison camp where it's been seven years being tortured near death is he says to himself that although the optimist in the camp got crushed, people who thought it'd be over soon, the people who thought it'd be easy, the people that stuck rescue was right around the slinner. He said, I unflinchingly accepted the reality of my situation. He said, I also knew that if I survived, I was going to behave in such a way and respond to the adversity that I faced in a way that meant this was an event that in retrospect I would not

trade. And Stockdale is an incredible example of how a man in heroine, horrible conditions turned it into a platform and an opportunity for great heroism and kindness and resilience and strength. There's a great story about Napoleon who famously wouldn't read his mail until three weeks after it arrived. He knew that most problems will resolve themselves. If you're so reachable, you will be inserting yourself into things that you don't need to be inserted on. You'll be spending time on things that will resolve themselves. If you're so reachable, you will be inserting yourself into things that you don't need to be inserted on. You'll be spending time on things that will resolve themselves. You can imagine Marcus really is doing a similar strategy or epictetus or sentica. The idea of responding to everything in real time to being on top of everything in real time, not only is this not a recipe

for productivity, it's a recipe for misery too. You have to be willing not to know every single thing that's going on to not be so reachable that anyone can interrupt you in your concentration at any time. Follow Napoleon's advice, sleep with your phone in the other room, leave your phone in the other room and you're going to do something important. Don't be so reachable. Seneca said that the mind must be taken on wandering walks. He said, otherwise, you'll break, you'll be too tense. I totally agree. I try to start my day with a walk and I try to tend my day with a walk. I don't even consider it exercise, although it is that. To me, it's putting the body in motion, it's slowing the mind down. I'm getting outside. I'm

connected with nature. Maybe I'm having a conversation with someone else that I care about. And even though I'm moving, I'm getting closer to a place of stillness. Walking to me is a magical cure all. If you're not doing it every day, you're not as happy or as fit. So if you're not walking every day, you're not as happy or as healthy as you could be. So listen to the still eggs and take a walk.

One of the things I like to do when I come to a cemetery like this is actively think about these people who are buried here. This person behind me was born in 1870 and died in 1931. The other was born in 1872 and died in 1946. I don't just like to think about what they experienced, what they saw, but I go, this is a person with hopes and dreams, this is a person maybe they had power, maybe they had fame, maybe

they wrote books, maybe they had perfect health, maybe they were beautiful, and where are they now? They're dead, they're buried in this marble box and nobody knows and nobody cares. And this is supposed to humble us and sober us up. It's supposed to be that we don't take life for granted, but that we also don't prioritize and obsess over the wrong things.

All we have is who we are in this present moment. And when I walk through a cemetery like this, it's just a very visceral reminder of the ephemerality and the shortness of life and why we can't take it for granted. Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts.