The Daily Stoic - It Can Happen To You | Accepting What Is
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Hey, prime members. You can listen to the Daily Stoic podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today.
Welcome to the Daily Stoic podcast. Each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics illustrated with stories from history, current events, and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week, we try to do a deeper dive, setting a kind of
stoke, intention for the week, something to meditate on, something to think on,
something to leave you with, to journal about whatever it is you happen to be doing.
So let's get into it.
Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wunderree's podcast business wars.
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It can happen to you.
He was on the top of the world, one of the best of his craft, beloved by millions.
And then, in 43, he was struck down by colon cancer.
Because Chadwick Boseman kept his diagnosis private, except to his loved ones,
this news surprised many people. A lot of them had the typical reaction, how tragic they said,
what a loss, it's not fair. And all of that is true and reasonable.
But almost no one had the less pleasant reaction.
The one that Senaika would argue we should have towards any unexpected loss. No one said,
oh, that easily could have been me. This, Senaika said, is the thought we must have when we see the
corner come pick up our neighbor? When we hear that somebody's life savings were stolen by a fraudster, or they were taken to jail on trumped up charges, the same, there, but
for the grace of God, go eye.
Sanika would have probably used the word fate or fortune instead of God. We're talking
about the same thing. What can happen to anybody can happen to everybody. What can happen to anybody can happen to everybody? What can happen to somebody you know can happen to you?
You are not immune. You are not special.
No amount of fame or power or talent exempts us from the Mori in Memento, Mori.
Everyone gets dealt bad luck.
Being young, being well liked, having already been through so much or never having been through anything at all.
These are all irrelevant considerations.
What's past is prologue and beside the point.
Just like the list of numbers that have hit at the roulette table just before you walk
up, they are facts.
They are not fate.
They are not predictive or protective.
When your number is up, that's it.
The events of the world are
constantly trying to remind us of this. It's so many of us don't want to listen.
We downright refuse to listen. Why is this happening to me? We wind and wail
into the void because it can. That's why. Because it happens to people every
single day and you should know that by now. This idea of Memento Mori is obviously an
important stow practice. We talk about it here all the time on Daily Stowic. I have
Memento Mori reminders in my house. I'm looking at the Memento Mori print here on my
wall. Let me sell in the Daily Stowic store and I've got the
Daily Stowic coin here in my pocket. That's it. Salamon into the desk. I love that
reminder. It brings me home to it. Salamon into the desk. I love that reminder.
Brings me home to it helps put things in perspective. You can check that out at store.dailystoke.com
Remember I'm meant to
more it
Accepting what is
Reinhold Mibers Serenity Prayer is a mantra for many God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
It reads, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom
to know the difference.
The Stoics wanted to push past simply accepting what is.
They wanted us to be grateful and happy with what is.
Epic Titus taught that we get a well-flowing life when we wish for what is going to happen,
not for what we want to happen.
And Marcus Aurelius adds that we should meet anything that comes our way with gratitude.
Not I wish this was different, and I'll tolerate it, but I'm glad it happened this way.
It's for the best.
So let us try that on for size this week.
And this is from this week's entry
in the Daily Steuert Journal, 366 days of writing
and reflection on the art of living by yours truly
and my co-writer and translator, Stephen Hanselman.
I actually do this journal every single day.
There's a question in the morning,
a question in the afternoon,
and then there's these sort of weekly meditations. As Epictetus says, every day and night,
we keep thoughts like this at hand, write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself,
and others about them. You can check out the Daily Stalk Journal, anywhere a book's
or sold. You can also get a signed personalized copy from me in the Daily Stalk store.
It's store.dailystalk.com. I may have two quotes from Epictetus and one from Marcus Aurelius.
Don't seek for everything
to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually
will.
And then your life will flow well.
That's Epic Titus' Incaridian 8.
And then from the discourses 1, 12, he says, to be truly educated means this, learning
to wish that each thing happens exactly as it does.
Marcus Realis' Meditation 9.6, all you need are these, certainty of judgment in the present moment,
action for the common good in the present moment, and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment
for anything that comes your way. One thing I wanted to
point out because I was fascinated to learn this is the serenity prayer of one. It sounds
like some sort of real hymn or prayer that must go back thousands of years. It honestly,
it sounds like something that could come from the Stoics. But in fact, it really comes,
and then obviously a lot of people associate it
with recovery movement,
which it has become a big part of.
But it really dates to like the 30s and 40s.
They think that he composed the prayer
somewhere around the time of 1932, 1933,
which for some context is, you know, in
the midst of the Great Depression. But again, one of the benefits of wisdom is that it is
both timely and timeless at the same time. So this idea of the prayer, father give us courage
to change what must be altered, serendity to accept what cannot be helped and the insight to know one
from another. Also, I think the difference between that as he
first writes it and then what it sort of commonly gets rendered at
is also a sign of as twins as the difference between lightning and
a lightning bug. Like just the perfect wording of it, the
perfecting encapsulation of the
wisdom. It feels as soon as you see it, even though, you know, it's as old as some people's
grandparents who are listening to this or perhaps some people who are listening to
this themselves, they may be well older than that short little prayer. But it feels as
current and fresh and also as ageless and timeless.
It's just about anything. But anyways, let's not nerd out too much on the history of the prayer.
What I thought I would focus on today, because we've been talking about acceptance quite a lot here
on the podcast, I tend to disagree a little bit with epictetus. I find that epictetus's life was so tragic and painful.
I mean, he's born, his name literally means like enslaved.
We know almost nothing about his family,
we know nothing about his existence,
except that he's born a slave.
He has a cruel master who tortures him.
He walks for a limp the rest of his life.
And then after 30 years
of slavery and eventually getting his freedom, Epithetus is exiled by a cruel emperor. So it is a hard
life. But I find it striking that nowhere in Epithetus' writings, does he really question whether any
of it was right or fair, whether anything
could be done about it?
Now you might say this is him reaching this sort of sage-like level of wisdom, and I think
there's truth to that.
I'm in whom I'd question obviously such a great and brave and enduring spirit.
But I guess obviously we live in a world now where people have more agency and
why do we have that agency because people were willing to fight for it and change. So obviously,
the Stoics are mostly right. That so much of what happens in this world is outside of
our control. We should accept it, presenting it, crying over it, whining about it, simply
wishing it was otherwise, does not do anything. And then a lot of the things that there, I think this is referred to are things that you just look, you were born
five feet three, you were born five foot three instead of six foot three, that's just a
reality you're going to have to accept it, right? People in your family go bald, you're
going to have to accept it, right? Your spouse turned out to be a jerk. They ran away with all your money. Left you, broke your heart. It happened, right? That is true. But I do, I just don't want
epictetus to be misinterpreted as some sort of rationalization or acceptance of profound injustices,
including the injustices that epictetus seemed relatively okay accepting, right?
As they say, progress depends on the unreasonable man. I talk about this a little bit in the
courage book. We have to be accepting with the face,
unflinchingly, the reality of our situation, but even as I read this paragraph that I have
written, I would push back on it a little bit and I do think it's important that we focus on
what we're going to do about the situations that we find ourselves in. I feel like Epititus could have done
that a bit more himself. Still, obviously, a great man, a better man than I. Certainly, I could not
have endured what he endured. It's just a thought today. I want you to be okay pushing back and questioning things
from the Stokes as well.
They weren't perfect.
They were products of their time.
They were products of their own experiences.
And we can challenge and debate and argue with them as long as we think we're getting
them closer to what they actually mean, what the wisdom of the Stokes actually mean.
And that's today's message.
Thanks so much for listening to the Daily Stoke podcast. Again, if you don't know this, you can get these delivered to you via email every day. You just go to dailystoke.com slash email.
So check it out dailystoke.com slash email.
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