The Daily Stoic - It’s Not As Unfortunate As It Seems
Episode Date: May 24, 2019Things we didn’t want to happen happen to all of us. A business deal falls through. A grade comes back that we didn’t expect. A person we care about leaves us. Our instinct is to call the...se events unfortunate.Which makes sense. It’s fortunate when you get what you want, it’s unfortunate when, for whatever reason, you don’t. Right?Marcus Aurelius proposed a different way of looking at things. Instead of telling ourselves that we’re unfortunate because our expectations were disappointed, we should do the opposite:“No it's fortunate that this has happened and I've remained unharmed by it -- not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it.” To a Stoic, we’re only harmed when our character is affected. We’re only harmed when we let go of what we believe in or when we drop our own standards. It might not be desirable to lose money or a friend, to fail at something or to be criticized, but how does that make us unfortunate? We haven’t been deprived of our ability to respond. Our character remains intact. There’s no rule that says you have to freak out about this or shattered by it or that you have to start getting anxious about the future. No, you’re still in control. You’re still you. That’s very fortunate. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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insight, wisdom necessary for living good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's
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It's not as unfortunate as it seems. Things we didn't want to happen, happen to all of us.
A business deal falls through, a grade comes back that we didn't expect, a person we
care about leaves us.
Our instant is to call these events unfortunate, which makes sense.
It's fortunate when you get what you want.
It's unfortunate when, for whatever reason, you don't, right?
Marcus Aurelis proposed a different way of looking at things.
Instead of telling ourselves that we're unfortunate because our expectations were disappointed,
he said we should do the opposite. As he wrote, no, it's fortunate that this has happened
and I've remained unharmed by it, not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone,
but not everyone could have remained unharmed by it. To a stoic, we're only harmed when
our character is affected. We're only harmed when we let go of what we believe in or when
we drop our own standards. It might not be desirable to lose money or a friend to fail at something or to be criticized,
but how does that make us unfortunate?
We haven't been deprived of our ability to respond. Our character remains intact.
There's no rule that says you have to freak out about this or get shattered by it or that you have to start getting
anxious about the future. No, you're still in control, you're still you.
And that's very fortunate.
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