The Daily Stoic - Very Little Is Needed | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

We think we need a lot to be happy. We think we need piles of money. And power. And fame. And to get that perfect house and to marry that perfect person. There are so many things we tell ourselves we have to have.They are nice to have. But it’s not what we need.---And in today's Ask Daily Stoic, Ryan discusses the strategies he uses to identify when declining an offer is the best course of action. He also touches on the best ways to teach your kids about Stoicism, and how you can begin a fruitful journaling habit.For an easy way to start the day with the best Stoic quotes from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and others, check out our Daily Stoic Page-a-Day Calendar.✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more, including the Premium Leather Edition of the Daily Stoic.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stood Podcast early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wundery's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. music or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to the Daily Stowed Podcast, where each day we bring you a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you find strength, insight, and wisdom every day life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2000 year old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us dailystoweth.com.

Very little is needed for the happy life. We think we need piles of money and power and fame, and to get that perfect house and marry that perfect person, and there are so many things we tell ourselves we have to have. But for centuries, the wisest minds have been saying some version of what Marcus Aurelius wrote in meditations. Very little is needed to make a happy life. And a little less than 2,000 years later, Gerda wrote one ought to every day, at least, to hear a little song, Read a Good Poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible to speak a few

reasonable words. Seneca similarly suggested that each day we should find a good quote or read a good story or have a good exchange with a friend. That's it. He says that will fortify you against poverty, against death, indeed against other misfortunes as well. Just a few things. A good quote to start the morning, a little song to start the work day. A good poem with lunch. A fine picture next in a few reasonable words spoken over dinner with a friend or a loved one or in the pages of a journal. Do that each day and you will have a happy and a wise

life. And actually, I'm just busting out, I just got home, I was gone. I'm just busting out the new Daily Stoic calendar for 2023. One quote every day. It's the quote in the Daily Stoic book, but if you wanted on your nightstand, if you wanted on your bathroom counter, or I keep one on my desk, there's also one on the counter at the painted porch. You should check out the Daily Stoic Terraway calendar, 365 days of stoic quotes, featuring quotes from Marcus Aurelis, Santa Monica, Epictetus, and more. You can check it out at store.dailystoic.com or I'll link to it in today's episode notes. But check it out, talk soon. Welcome to another episode of Ask Daily Stoic.

You send in questions. We answer them inspired by stoicism. I'm dropping my papers like crazy. So today's question is how can I get better at saying no? This is something I am really bad at and I get the feeling that the stokes were not graded at naturally anyway. I mean, Seneca couldn't have been too good at saying no because he agreed to work for Nero and he refused to leave for far too long. But you Meditations, Marcus really says, ask yourself

at every moment, is this essential? Do I need to do it? Is it a real obligation? Is it actually important? And the truth is a lot of the things that we get pressured into doing are not necessary. They're things that we're doing because everyone else is doing them.

We're doing them because they showed up in our inbox. We're doing them because somebody offered us some amount of money for them. We're doing them because they showed up in our inbox. We're doing them because somebody offered us some amount of money for them. We're not really asking, is this essential? Is this what I was put on the planet to do? If this was by the last day of my life, what I do it? And so if we can ask ourselves this question, I think generally will be better.

I have a sign above my desk that a guy named Jonathan Fader, he's a brilliant sports psychologist. He sent it to me. It's a picture of Oliver Sacks in his office, Oliver Sacks in the pictures on the phone, and then above him is a sign and just says, N-O exclamation point. And it's just a reminder to me, like, have to say, no. Early on in your career, you have to say yes to everything because you're trying to get

established. But as you get older, you realize like, oh, man, I don't have an unlimited amount of time. I don't have unlimited resources. I have to say no to things. And I will say that one of the things that having kids has helped me with is realizing, I think before I was okay harming myself and harming even my wife or my health by saying yes to things I didn't need to be doing. That was too much for me to do. But now that I have kids I realize like, oh, I am taking this time from them. I promised them all my time. Now obviously I have to cross some of that back for work, right? But beyond that, beyond the things that required to survive, to, you know,

to feel fulfilled as a human being myself, all everything left over belongs to my two sons. And so the idea that I'm just gonna strider that away because somebody wants me on their podcast or someone sent me some random email or someone wants to pay me $10 to go do something is ridiculous, right? You are saying yes, you're saying no to something else.

So one of the things I always think about is what am I saying no to? And is that actually a more important thing? So one of the questions we get the most often, this is comments like how do I teach my kids about stochism? Well, you know, the Stoics, like do you look at Kato's life and Seneca's life and Marcus really his life? One of the things they had,

it wasn't their parents teaching them about stoicism, although Kato clearly taught his daughter, Porsche about it, it's that they had really great tutors. So that's one of the things I'm thinking about with my kids is obviously school is important. Obviously, it's legally an obligation, but like who are teachers or tutors, I can bring into their life on a one-off basis or for a month or for a year who are really great instructors I can bring in and have them have have teach them. And so obviously

there's not really like a whole contingent of stone tutors, but maybe there are people who are experts in specific things that are pertaining to stoicism. So if those four virtue maybe a way to think about this is like the four virtues of stoses are wisdom Justice temperance and courage. Who is a teacher? You can bring into your kids life That can teach them about those four things or if you can't afford that what are four books? They or for movies or for stories or for historical places you can go to teach them about those four concepts and how can you do that on a regular and recurring basis. So I think that teachers is really important.

Kato had a stoke teacher, Senika was a stoke teacher, Epic Titus was taught by Musonius, Marx realized was taught by this guy named Judy's Rousticus. So who is your stoke teacher for you and for your kids? That's a really important question. The other thing is don don't think about stoicism as this thing you know and you are teaching to your kids. I think a better way to think about it would be thinking about it as something you're learning together.

So, Seneca talks about how he says, like when you're reading my letters, assume that we are laying in the same hospital word together, we're both sick, we're both trying to get better. So don't think about stoicism as something you've mastered and you're passing along to your kids. Think about it as something you're learning

with your kids that you guys are like learning this together, you're like studying together, you're reading, you're listening to this podcast together, you're sharing the Instagram clips together, you know, you're emailing passages back and forth, you know, you're going on a trip to Rome together Like you are doing this together because you're both sick and you're both trying to get better to me That's the great way and then the ultimate way to teach your kids about stoicism and this seems obvious

But it needs to be said is by example don't tell your kids about justice and temperance and wisdom and courage Prove those things that embody those things. That's things, that's what EpicTidacy says. Don't talk about your philosophy, embody it. Don't talk about it, be about it. The last question for today is, how do I start a journal and have it? So I'm a little biased in that we make the daily stoic journal, can't recommend it highly enough.

Hopefully, you know, talk about, don't talk about it, be about it. I do the daily still a journal every morning. There's a question in the morning and you reflect on it as you begin the day and the idea is that you end the day by reflecting on how you did, you know, per the intention that you set.

But I think the easiest way to start a journal you have and I've recommended this a bunch of times, I use a journal called the One Line a Day Journal. I'm on my third year of it, but you go through and you just write one sentence every day. So there's a mothering version, a father version, and a parenting version, and a college, there's all these different versions.

I just have a Hawaiian and I write one sentence every day. It is really easy to write one sentence per day. So instead of thinking about this, how do I start journaling? How do I have a journaling habit? It's more like what is the least amount of journaling than I can do and start, right? And so I think that's a, that's an easy, nice one. It could just be write it down a quote from one of the stoics each morning and then kicking it around. You know, it could just be, you know be keeping a workout log. Start with something really small or easy, and I think that's a way to start the journaling.

There's some other great journals. The bullet journal is great. The five minute journal also really easy. Starting and journaling habit is hard. Journaling for five minutes is easy. So when you think about these habits that are intimidating or difficult or that you've tried and failed that before, I think what the Stokes would recommend is start with something really

easy and build on it. EpicTidus talks about fueling the habit bonfire. How can you just get a spark going and then add to it from there? So it doesn't have to be this intense journaling conversation with yourself or pages and pages and pages. It takes years to work. It's like, if you wanted to start meditating, meditate for 30 seconds. Don't try to meditate on a 30-day silent meditation retreat. That's going to be really intimidating and hard. So start small and

then build. You know, my journal would have it's probably seven or eight years old now. And as a result, I'm worked myself up to a place where it's natural and effortless. And when I don't do it, it's almost painful, but it took me a while to get there and this one line of day journal is a big breakthrough for me. So thanks for listening. Keep your questions coming. You can send me an info at dailystoke.com and we will keep doing this on the podcast. Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music

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