The Daily Stoic - What To Do With What You’ve Been Given | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

Yesterday we took a minute to think of all that we have to be grateful for, all the blessings life has bestowed on us–even if those things didn’t always appear to be blessings at the time. Well, today, on so called ‘Black Friday’ in America, instead of rushing out to get a deal on a flat-screen television, we should think about what to do with all that gratitude.It is our duty to help others. To serve others. To help people from going hungry. To alleviate someone’s worry and fear. To put food on their table.To contribute to Team Feed Corporate to help end hunger in America, visit dailystoic.com/feeding.If you live outside the U.S., check out Action Against Hunger, and click here to donate. ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemailCheck out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. But on Fridays, we not only read this daily meditation, but I try to answer some questions from listeners and fellow stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy, whatever it is they happen to do. Sometimes these are from talks. Sometimes these are people who come up to talk to me on the street.

Sometimes these are written in or emailed from listeners. But I hope in answering their questions, I can answer your questions, give a little more guidance on this philosophy. We're all trying to follow. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to Business Wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. What to do with what you've been given? Yesterday we took a minute to think about all the things that we have to be grateful for. All the blessings that life has bestowed on us, even if those things didn't always appear

to be blessings at the time. Well, today on so-called Black Friday in America, instead of rushing out to get a deal on a flat screen television, we should think about what to do with all of that gratitude. In the book of Genesis, Abraham is told that he has been blessed, and thus must be a blessing to others. That's the essence of Christianity, but also of Stoicism.

We have been given a free gift, life, talent, success, and we must give freely in return. Marcus Aurelie's Meditations is not filled with lists of items he wants to buy, nor platitudes about gratitude. Instead, he talks actively about helping others lending a hand, doing his part. The great fortune of his life, Marcus, says at one point, is not just that he, himself, has never known serious want. It's that he has been lucky enough to have been able to help so many people, which is why, for the third year in a row, we are inviting you to join us in putting energy towards helping people, not engaging in hand-to-hand combat over deals at a department store. You enjoyed a day of fullness yesterday from the Thanksgiving meal to the company of friends and family.

There was plenty of it all. But it's important that you realize that not everyone is feeling that. In fact, many people are experiencing the exact opposite. More than 828 million people around the globe go to bed hungry every night. More than 34 million people in America are food insecure. And 9 million of them are children. This is a tragedy. It's also an opportunity and an obligation. It's our duty to help others, to serve others, to illustrate those virtues of courage and justice

towards and for and through others, to help people from going hungry, to alleviate someone's worry and fear, to put food on their table. And we could do this together. Last year, the Daily Stoke community came together with feeding America and provided two million meals. That was double what we raised the year before.

And this year, we're again increasing our goal as well as the donation we are. I'm personally putting up the first $30,000 with an overall goal to raise 300,000 bucks. Every dollar we raise provides 10 meals. So if we hit that goal, it'll be three million meals. And you can head over to dailysteoic.com slash feed-in to check that out. I think together we can make a small dent and a big problem. So let's do that instead of rather than let the Black Friday spirit of materialism and

selfishness infect us, let us contribute to something bigger than ourselves. That's be good Stokes today. I want you to give something give something until it hurts, right? Filling out the form to put up 30,000 bucks at hurt. It's a little bit scary But that's that's how you know you're given the right amount. I think Could be a dollar for you could be a hundred bucks could be a thousand bucks, but give something It would mean a lot to me if you've gotten value out of these emails over the years, that would mean something to me. And look, if you live outside the US, check out action against hunger.org, the global humanitarian organization that fights hunger across 50 countries, and I'll put a link in today's

show notes. But for everyone in the US, check out dailystoke.com slash feeding. I appreciate it. Thank you, everyone. So I recently finished the book you recommended last in the New Year New Me Challenge. The storm before the storm. Yes.

I found that Sela and Marius, they had like an envious relationship, they were envious of each other. And I also find that in my life, even if I'm just 20 years young, you know, because oftentimes I think all of us struggle with the stool is that when someone, someone succeeds, sometimes you tend to feel happy freedom, sometimes you get jealous and envious. So, and I also believe that envy can be tied in with ego. So, my question is, how does your story combat envy? Yeah, I have a chapter on envy in stillness is the key.

It is a tricky thing. You know, Dita Roosevelt says comparison is the thief of joy. I think it's true. Envy is no fun. It doesn't really usually get you anything. But then again, I can see why it is a drive in force of the human nature, of the human species, it propels us forward because it makes us want stuff we don't have. I have two things I'd point you to, I have an interview with Mike Duncan about the storm before the storm on the podcast, which I think is worth listening to.

And then I also, I just interviewed Luke Burgess, who wrote a great book about Renas Gerard, whose sort of theory of memetic desire is, I think, very relevant today and sort of an insight into how ND works and how destructive it is. So I would stay tuned for that. And you might like Renas Gerard's stuff as well.

William Woods. Yes, can you hear me all right? I can. All right, fantastic. All right, we've heard several things just in today's office hours. I've heard about guilt. I've heard about envy and jealousy. You know, I struggle a lot with anxiety. And so I guess we're all kind of here in a way

with this thought that we want, we're looking for stoicism and the study of this to help us in our daily lives and real practical type ways. And all of your research, man, you have to still down so much material to where it's like in your daily emails, these little bite-sized pieces. And all of your study of this, how is the most practical way stoicism can help in our daily life? Yeah, this is a great question. I would say that the habit, I would say I have an unfair

advantage as far as the practice of stoicism, because I get to write about it, right? So I get to have this constant dialogue with myself about my own thoughts, but then also with the stoics themselves, right? And that's really what stoicism is though. So there's a reason almost all the stoics were writers about stoicism, not all the work survive, but they were writing about it.

So on the back of the journal, we have Epictetus, he says, every day it. So on the back of the journal, we have Epictetus. He says, every day and night, keep thoughts like these at hand, write them, read them aloud, talk to yourself and others about them. So I moved to your California and on my friends. You know, can we mute everything? You're going to, you know, R.E.I. all the time. Got it. So, so I would say the, the active practice of engaging with the material, whether it's a few minutes with the journal in the morning, whether it's something like this on a regular basis, whether it's a, you know, a philosophical buddy, like, you know, Sennaka writing to Lucilius,

to me, it's that. You don't just read it and absorb it, just like a baseball player knows how to swing, but every day before a game, they have to go through batting practice. You have to work on it like that. So that's how I would think about it. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Gabriel, I don't see your hand raised, but if you can unmute yourself, you can answer. Being following you for about a year now and... Oh, thank you. Being following you for about a year now and reading about. Thank you. Awesome. I appreciate what you're doing.

It's just amazing to have such clear language on these things, because a lot of times we just think everything is so complicated. And when you're seeing a different perspective, a different language really makes sense. So my question is again, to Dears point and the day-to-day lives, how do we apply all this knowledge, everything that we're learning, when people really hurt you, really, just with actions and words, and lie about you and continue to do so towards the people you know, the circle of people used to run around with your family

and just go and do that to you. How do you do, do you identify with an answer to just walk away for a while? Do you, of course I've, you know, I've forgiven them within my heart, but it's, you know, sometimes it's hard to just sit aside and watch them. We know that.

Yeah, look, I think every situation calls for its own unique response. So I'd have to know all the particulars and I'd have to know what's going on in your life. I would say, sometimes you, you know, it's like water off a ducts back. Sometimes it's an opportunity for you to practice, you know, speaking up for yourself.

Sometimes it's an injustice I got an email this morning from someone who had had this horrible encounter with their brother, who assaulted them, you know, over a family argument, and they were going to call the police, but their mother didn't want them to call the police, who had hurt their brother. And, you know, what we ended up talking about was, you know, is this, is you doing this about solving it for you? Or is you not doing something about it? Does it put other people at risk in the future, right? So, so, you know what I'm saying is that in the third situation, just walking away,

just letting it happen might be perpetuating an injustice that you're in a position to stop going forward. So, all of which is to say, I don't think there's a rule. There is no party line here. We take it on a case by case basis. But generally, we try not to let external things affect our character, affect our peace of mind, affect what our job is, affect our, you know, relation or affection to people as a whole. And we try to move forward and progress. Pia. Hi. Hi. Okay. My question is I also been following the daily dad, which I think is a wonderful, wonderful podcast. Thank you. And also, I basically struggle a lot with parenthood, because you talk all the time about,

you know, like, living every moment, and what is the rush? What's the rush to go to school early? What is the rush to do this? What, you know, like, you always mention those things. But at the same time, you have to have that fine line when you accept your kids how they are, but at the same time you know that there is expectations, you also know that there is things that are expected from society for them because you can just know late let kids be who are everybody want to be because they want to do nothing.

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, like I have teens, teenagers, and if anyone in the group has teenagers, you know how difficult it is, we're to draw the line. And also my one of my teenagers suffer from severe anxiety as well. So it's been also debilitating from her to accomplish things. And you want to be like a good, like stoic parent and trying to understand being their shoes big wives understand. But at the same time, you know, where is what is that line? How much you push how much you let it go and also with that acceptance because it's really hard to control what you can control it but let go because it's your kid, you know? So how did you mix that?

Because I know you're at dad as well. And so how do you want your wife handle that? I'm still struggling with it. I don't have any easy, clear answers, but I would tell you two books that have been helpful to me. Actually, I think her episode just came out today. But I really like Jessica Lehi, her book,

her book, The Gift of Failure. There's another great book that I sell on the bookstore downstairs called The Self-Driven Child, which is a great book. And then I would add to that Paul Tuff wrote a great book called How Children Succeed. So I would say those three books have kind of informed, and it is an ongoing project obviously

because my oldest is not even five. But, you know, sort of how do you balance, you know, sort of creating roles and structure, creating opportunities for them to learn things on their own? You know, how do you balance taking things seriously, but not taking them too seriously? That is the struggle. I would say, you know, the virtue of temperance,

that moderation, the middle, that's where this comes in. So you wanna be strict, but not too strict. You wanna give them freedom, but not too much freedom. You wanna be in reach of trouble. Exactly. So that's what we're figuring out. I don't have an in easy answer, but the email that I send out is me trying to struggle with that on

on a daily basis just like you. Can you say the names of the books really quick? I write it down? Yes, the self-driven child, the gift of failure, and how children succeed. Okay, perfect. Thank you. Yep. Margie. Hi. Hi. My question is kind of related to a question raised in the previous office hours. It's on the road of the internet, but I keep coming back to this on social media how it can act as a distraction, how it can encourage negative passions. It has negative effects on empathy or gratification delay. It sometimes feel like I'm mixing into a mob. So of course there are ways we can minimize the use, but I guess my question is,

how should Stoics today view technology and social media given what we are learning about effect, about its effects on people and also given the value system, the Asian stoics are teaching us to live by? Yes, these are great questions. So one of the best ways I heard this described and I literally just got off interviewing him, Cal Newport, and digital minimalism. He says like, look, when you talk to people

who are in great shape and you say, what do you eat? They have a diet, right? They're like, this is what I do, right? They're not like, I just eat whatever, whenever I'm just winging it and I see how it goes, right? They're like, I'm vegan or I eat paleo or I do low carb or, you know, I only eat meat three days a week or I have a chef who chooses what I eat, right? The point is they're intentional about it.

And I think that's the ultimate way to approach social media. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do it, but you have to have a way that you are doing it that makes sense for you. So for me, I have almost no social media on my phone. I schedule all my stuff out in advance. doing it that makes sense for you. So for me, I have almost no social media on my phone. You know, I schedule all my stuff out in advance.

I don't read things that people say about me, et cetera. So I just have a set of rules. These rules change. Usually they get stricter, but the point is, I try to be intentional about it, and I try to have a set of rules that I follow. He intentional. Yes. Thank you so follow. He intentional. Yes.

Thank you so much. Of course. That's my Memento Mori coin. I think about it all the time and we're playing with it on my desk right now. It's something I carry always. It's probably the thing I get asked about the most when I bump into people in public. It's just been a game changer for me. I have a bunch of different momentum or reminders, of course, but if you wanna get this one,

which we make here in the US, and a mint in Minnesota that's been in business since 1882, you can check it out in the Daily Stoic Store, or if you're in Bastrop, you can stop by my bookstore here, the Payton Port John Main Street, where we sell them as well. It's game changer,'s check it out. Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery

Plus in Apple podcasts. Celebrity feuds are high stakes. You never know if you're just going to end up on Page Six or Du Moir or in court. I'm Matt Bellissi. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell, where each episode we unpack a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

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