The Daily Stoic - What Would Less Look Like? | Say No to the Need to Impress

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

“This has not been fun. It’s been brutal. But it has been, at least, an exercise in that question that the Stoic aficionado Tim Ferriss is a fan of: What would less look like? Less flights. Less dinners out. Less meetings. Less income. Less time with friends.”Ryan explains why you must focus on what is essential, and reads this week’s meditation from The Daily Stoic Journal, on today’s Daily Stoic Podcast.This episode is also brought to you by Literati Kids, a subscription book club that sends 5 beautiful children’s books to your door each month, handpicked by experts. Literati Kids has book clubs for children ages 0 to 12, and each club has age-appropriate selections tailored to what your child needs. Every Literati Kids book in your child’s box is hand-picked by experts and guaranteed to spark their curiosity, intellect, and spirit of discovery. Go to literati.com/stoic to get 25% off your first two orders and receive 5 incredible kids books, curated by experts, delivered to your door every month.***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow Daily Stoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/dailystoicInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic/Facebook: http://facebook.com/dailystoicYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke podcast early and add free on Amazon music download the app today Welcome to the Daily Stoke podcast each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stokes illustrated with stories from history Current events and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week, we try to do a deeper dive, setting a kind of stoic intention for the week, something to meditate on, something to think on, something to leave you with, to journal about, whatever it is you're happy to be doing.

So let's get into it. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wunderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. What would less look like? This has not been fun, it's been brutal.

But it has been, at least in exercise in that question that the stoic aficionado Tim Ferris is a fan of. What would less look like? Less flights, less dinners out, less meetings, less income, less time with friends. Some of that has been easier to bear than others. Some of it has been sad and lonely, other parts of it have been downright liberating. The thing about less, why we ask Marcus Aurelius' version of the question, is this essential? Is that less often reveals what more looks like?

Because as tough as the last few months have been, it's also meant more sunsets from the back porch, more dinners at home, more appreciation for the people and things that matter, more understanding of the urgency of Memento Mori. That's what Marcus was saying. What Tim was trying to get us to see, when we do less, we get a double benefit. We cut out what is inessential and we do what is essential much, much better. There is not a lot of redeeming qualities to a pandemic, but we should at least try to take this lesson from it. We are

being taught what less looks like. We are being taught that less can actually be more. Say no to the need to impress. If the desire to impress and be liked by others is innate to humans as a species, then every generation born before social media got lucky. Today we face an unending stream of status updates demanding to be filled with all the impressive things we are doing, the trials we are overcoming, announcements of our dangers averted and triumphs realized. It's exhausting. Centuries ago, Epic Titus saw this pride and narcissism even in his own computerless students and reminded them that it wasn't so innocent.

In fact, he told them that it would destroy their life's purpose. It would distract and fatigue them. Santa Coutue saw the seeking of approval of spectators as one of life's disgraces. Watch those impulses today. Notice how much you seem to need your phone and status updates and ask, is this the person I wanna be? Is this what a philosopher would do? And this is from this week's entry

in the Daily Stoke Journal, which you can check out. I do the journal every morning. I sit down and spend some time with the blank pages. We got two epictetus quotes and one sent a quote to round it out. If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content then to be a philosopher and all that you do. And if you

wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are and you will succeed. That's Epic Titus's Incaridian 23. In public, avoid talking often and excessively about your own accomplishments and dangers. For however much you enjoy recounting your dangers, it's not pleasant for others to hear about your affairs. Epic Titus's Incaridian 3314. How disgraceful is the lawyer who's dying breath passes well at court at an advanced age pleading for unknown litigants and still seeking the approval of ignorant spectators?

Santa Capp on the brevity of life. 20. You know, I think about this. I have a little rule for me. When I'm working on a book, I don't talk about it. I don't tell people that I've finished. I don't tell people that I just finished chapter two. I don't fit. I don't tell people that I just signed a deal. In fact, on my last book deal, I didn't even announce it. I couldn't have gotten a little press. And early in my life, I kind of wanted that validation. Hey, I did it. Maybe medium. Maybe it's good for my brand. Now I see all that stuff as distraction. Even social media, if you follow me, I'm at Ryan Holiday on Twitter and Facebook and, I guess, Instagram and at Daily Still, but you'll notice there's almost no real time

updates for me. I never really got the habit, but when I feel it peaking up, I break it immediately. These are not platforms for me to fish for validation. I don't want to say, hey, look what I'm doing. And then people go, oh, you're so great. Oh, you're so awesome. And I'm not saying they do that because I'm like, well, no, I'm saying like, your friends do this. We want to congratulate each other. We want to encourage each other. And I get that. But that's not why I want to be a writer. That's not why I want to do things. As I

say in the boy who would begin, all the things Marcus Arelius did made him very popular. It's not why he did it. He did it because they're the right thing. So I try not to let social media, I try not to let the chase for validation or approval. I try, I just, it's not a need. I really ever try to say it. I don't feed it because I feel like the more you feed it, the more it wants from you. So I try to focus on just not talk, I try to let my work do the talking about my work. That's not to say I don't believe in marketing. I do. Brand is important. I mean, I have the social media. I just try to have a healthy relationship with it, a healthy balance with it. So I'm using it. It is not using me.

And look Twitter and Facebook and Clubhouse and all these apps. You're the product that's being sold. They're exploiting your need for validation and attention. Right? They know that you want to tell people what you're doing and then you want to hear what people say about what you're doing.

And then you want to respond to the people who aren't liking it enough. And then you want to check back and see how many comments it got or likes it got or whatever. There's a reason Instagram, Instagram did people a public service when they turned off, some of the not everyone can see how many likes or views they're post-gotten. I think that's great. As a public figure, they leave these tools and they are tempting and so I don't even have it on my phone. I don't want to touch it. Every time I never go to one of these sites

and I feel better about myself as a person, I just feel that that insatiable need has been encouraged a little bit. So let's say no to trying to impress other people. Let's not care what other people think. As Marcus really said, it's another quote we could have included in the entry. He says, you know, we care about ourselves we could have included in the entry, he says,

we care about ourselves more than other people, you have for some reason, we care about their opinions way too much. Now, focus on what you have to do, focus on you, focus on what you think, what you know is right, do things for that reason. If you get validation for it afterwards, wonderful, but that can't be why you do it. And if it is why you do it, it's going to break your heart. I promise you, so say no to the desire to impress other people. Plus other people, man, they don't know. They're wrong. 99% of the time anyway. Focus on what you know. Just do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter. Thanks so much for listening. If you could leave a review for the podcast, we'd really appreciate it. The reviews make a difference and of course every nice review from a nice person helps balance out. The crazy people who get triggered and angry anytime we say

something they disagree with. So if you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it. I'll see you next episode. Hey, Prime Members. You can listen to the Daily Stoke early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts.