The Daily Stoic - Where Are You Rushing To? | No Shame In Needing Help

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

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Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic podcast. On Thursdays, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the book, The Daily Stoic, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance in the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful co-author

and collaborator, Steve Enhancelman. And so today, we'll give you a quick meditation from one of the Stoics, from Epipetus Markis, Relius, Seneca, then some analysis for me. And then we send you out into the world to do your best to turn these words into works. Is this thing all? Check one, two, one, two. Hey y'all, I'm Kiki Palmer. I'm an actress, a singer, an entrepreneur, and a Virgo. I'm just the name of you.

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Where are you rushing to? You're in a hurry to get to the office, to get through the meeting, to get to the restaurant, to get the kids to bed, to go on your vacation. We rush because we have somewhere to go, something we want to do more stuff we have to get over with. But it's worth asking, as the stokes did, what are we really rushing through? Because on the other side of whatever you're doing, eventually inevitably it's one thing. What you're rushing towards is death.

And you're doing it at the expense of the present moment. You tell yourself that the future, the thing you're after will be better. That in truth, that's not guaranteed. The only thing for sure is now. Seneca reminds us that death is something that's happening now, even as you read this, the time that passes belongs to death, he says, what is lived, we never get back. We are dying every minute, every day, and when we hurry, we are speeding that along. So slow down, don't rush through this moment, exist in it, be present for it, even if it

is mundane, even if there is something else you'd rather be doing, even if what comes next is slightly better. Because this moment is a gift. Show up for it. Enjoy it. Don't cast a design for door number two, because eventually behind that door will be death. Don't choose death.

Choose now. No shame in needing help. This is the June 16th entry in the Daily daily stoic. And I'm reading to you today from the daily stoic 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living by yours truly, and my co-author and translator, Steve Enhancelman. You can get signed copies, by the way, in the daily stoic store, over a million copies of the daily stooke in print now. It's been just such a lovely experience to watch it. It's been more than 250 weeks, consecutive weeks on the best cellist. It's just an awesome experience.

But I hope you check it out. We have a premium leather edition at store.dailystoke.com as well. But let's get on with today's reading. It is fitting, I guess, today is my birthday June 16th. I am turning 35 that we are going to be quoting one of my absolute favorite quotes from Marcus Realis. All time favorite quotes. Marcus Realis is don't be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle.

So what if you're injured and can't climb up without another soldier's help? So what? That's Marcus Aurelius' Meditations 7-7. You know what? I like this quote so much. I'm going to give you the Hayes one. As well. What is that? It's a 7-. So let me give you seven seven from Hayes. Hayes says, don't be ashamed to need help like a soldier storming a wall. You have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and need a comrade to pull you up, so what? And what's grab? Where is it? Let's grab the but where is it? Let's grab the Robin Waterfeld one too. See what he says about it.

There's no shame in being helped because you've got to do the job you've been set like a soldier storming the city wall. Suppose you had a limp and we're unable to scale the battlements on your own, but could do so with someone's assistance. Right? So what? That's what he's saying. And the reason I love this quote so much, and actually, let me get to the meditations first, no one ever said you were born with all the tools you'd need to solve every

problem you'd face in life. In fact, as a newborn, you were practically helpless. Someone helped you then and you came to understand that you could ask for help. It's how you knew that you were loved. Well, you are still loved and you can ask for help from anyone. You don't have to face everything on your own. If you need help, comrade, just ask. Look, the idea here and why I love this quote so much is it flies in the face of this stereotype of the emotionless, robotic, superhuman stoic that cannot ask for aid, cannot rely on anyone that is an island. You are not an island. That's what Mark's really saying. No, you're part of a failings, you're part of a troop, a brigade, a battalion,

and you're all in this together protecting each other, helping each other. And in fact, to not ask for help to just lay there and to give up is not just weak, but cowardly, right? You have to be able to ask for help. There's a great book, I've read it to my kids a million times called The Boy, The Fox, The Horse and the Mole.

We sell it at the painted porch. If you haven't read it, even as an adult promise you got to get this book. Um, but anyways, there's a passage in the book. He says asking for help isn't giving up. It's refusing to give up, right? Asking for help isn't weak. It's a sign of strength. You don't, you're not afraid of being seen as weak. You're committed. You're unbeatable, right?

You will not go down without a fight and you're willing to do anything and everything to keep going, including asking for help. So I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what's going on in your life. I don't know what you're struggling with, but you should not be afraid to ask for help. You should ask for help. Asking for help is important. I talked to my wife about this sometimes like, we'll be at a store and she's just looking

all over the place for the thing. And I had to go, there are people whose job it is to help you. And in fact, by going and asking that Home Depot employee to show you something, that's like one box that they don't have to lift. That's one, you're giving them purpose and something to do, right? By asking for help, you are giving other people the opportunity to feel and do good.

Think about that way. Like when your friends ask for help, are you like, oh, this fucking guy. No, you're glad, right? When your siblings ask for help, like you enjoy the opportunity. So why would you think that other people would judge you or think critically of you or refuse you help? They would it. So don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to show weakness or vulnerability. This is a good thing.

And I hope that you do it. This could be therapy. This could be opening up to a spouse. This could be opening up to a parent, to a loved one, to a friend, to a total stranger, could be just asking for directions when you're lost. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It is not unstuck. And in fact, to persist in ignorance or air or uncertainty because you are afraid of looking foolish, well, that is to miss the point of stoicism. As Epictetus says, if you want to improve, you have to be willing to be seen as foolish.

I'm not saying you will look foolish by asking for help, but you have to get over that fear of what other people will think, to ask for and get what you need. So please, please do it. And appreciate all of your support here at Daily Stoke. And I'm gonna go have some fun on my birthday. So talk to you tomorrow.

Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us. And it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode. Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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