The Daily Stoic - You Don’t Get Credit For This | On Handling Haters

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

We do what’s right because it’s right. We don’t do what’s wrong because it’s wrong.📕Grab a signed copy of Right Thing, Right Now by Ryan Holiday | https://store.dailystoic.com/��� Pick up a signed edition of The Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on The Art of Living: https://store.dailystoic.com/✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us:  Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to the daily Stoic early and ad free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. We've got a bit of a commute now with the kids and their new school. And so one of the things we've been doing as a family is listening to audiobooks in the car. Instead of having that be dead time, we want to use it to have a live time. We really want to help their imagination soar. And listening to Audible helps you do precisely that. Whether you listen to short stories,

self-development, fantasy, expert advice, really any genre that you love, maybe you're into stoicism. And there's some books there that I might recommend by this one guy named Ryan. Audible has the best selection of audio books without exception and exclusive Audible originals all in one easy app.

And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. By the way, you can grab Right Thing right Now on Audible. You can sign up right now for a free 30-day Audible trial and try your first audiobook for free. You'll get Right Thing Right Now totally for free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. Each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient stoics illustrated with stories from history, current events and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week, we try to

do a deeper dive setting a kind of stoic intention for the week, something to meditate on something to think on something to leave you with to journal about whatever it is you happen to be doing. So let's get into it. You don't get credit for this. Given your success, given your position, given your privilege in society,

given what percentage of crimes are prosecuted or even how many things aren't covered by matters of law, even though they probably should be, it's safe to say that most of us could get away with doing less. It would be nice if people recognize this but they never seem to do they? We can imagine Marcus Aurelius getting frustrated when he took flak. Do you guys not remember how bad my predecessors were? Do you guys not understand what usually happens when people get this kind of power? But here's the thing, you don't get credit

for what you don't do. You don't get credit for the fact that you could be worse. You don't get credit for not breaking societal norms for which the enforcement mechanisms are weak. Nobody threw Marcus Aurelius a parade for not being stained purple, as he wrote in meditations, even if it's an absolute rule that absolute power corrupts absolutely. We do what's right because it's right. We don't do wrong because it's

wrong. Credit should play no part in our calculation. Whether or not we'll escape punishment, whether or not we'll be celebrated, those are not our concerns Our concern is rooted in what we control and who we choose to be by what we do And what we don't do and look that's basically the idea in right thing right now. I'm not talking about law I'm not talking about what you can get away with Talking about the standard that you want to hold yourself. That's the stoic definition of justice It plays into the other part, but first and foremost, who am I? What do I do? What is right for me? What would I never do because I don't think it's okay. Anyways, you can grab right thing right now. Good values, good character,

good deeds, anywhere books are sold. If you want to sign, copy and grab it at store.dailystoic.com. On handling haters. And this is from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, 366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living by me, Ryan Holiday, anywhere books are sold, including The Painted Porch, my bookstore. The Stoics taught that kindness trumps hate. They believed that those who engage in hate are prisoners to a destructive passion, that one that hurts the practitioner,

not the intended target. There's no reason to hate a hater. They are already suffering enough. In fact, when we see them this way, it makes it easier to be kind, good-natured, genuine, and useful. Remember that line in the Bible about how loving your enemies is like pouring hot coals on them because it's so unexpected?

What can surprise you that way? Whose enmity can you meet with kindness and compassion? And how much better do you feel when you've done so? You know, this is something I've struggled with a bit recently, just having watched my stuff on social media get attacked by a brigand of sort of crazy anti-vaxxers and COVID deniers and weird trolls. And you know, sometimes I have fun with it. Sometimes I like to stir it up a bit. I try not to get angry about it.

It's not something that makes me angry, but there is a part of it that makes me really sad, really frustrated because it's not that I can't take it, I can take it. But what I understand is how these ideas are rippling through and influencing other people, making them fall prey to misinformation or participate in antisocial behavior. But I do try to remember this idea that hurt people hurt people. That is a great expression. I found it to be very true in my life. But I thought I would give you that thought

as we get into today's quotes. The first is from Marcus Aurelius Meditations 11.3. What if someone despises me? He says, let them see to it, but I will see to it that I won't be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that,

but I will see to it that I'm kind and good nature to it all and be prepared to show even the hater where they went wrong, not in a critical way or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully. So when I respond, I try to have fun with it. And if it doesn't always come off as I'm having fun, I assure you, I am having fun. You know, the Stokes talk about are you going to laugh or are you going to cry? I think if you can't have fun with it, if you can't troll the trolls back, then in a

sense they are winning. But let's go to Meditations 1118. Kindness is invincible, but only when it's sincere and with no hypocrisy or faking. For what even can the most malicious person do if you keep showing kindness and if given the chance, you gently try to point out where they went wrong, right? As they were trying to harm you. This is the hard part. And I talked about this with Brad Stone in his book about Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos heard very early on from his grandfather that it's easier to be clever than kind.

And I would say this totally drives with my experience. It's easy to have a witty comeback. It's easy to be sarcastic. It's easy to dunk on someone to point out the obvious and ridiculous flaws or contradictions in their argument, or even to focus on the horrific implications of what they're saying and point out the costs of their behavior. But kindness is almost certainly what is going to convince someone, right? Patience is what it's going to take to convince them. And when you attack, you're almost certainly making them dig in more. I have to remind myself of this. And then finally, we have Epictetus in Coridian 20. Keep in mind that it

isn't the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it's really your own opinion that's fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions for with time and distance, self mastery is more easily achieved." I talked about this with Malcolm Gladwell on the podcast. The people who dislike what you do are almost always louder than the people who are like, oh, it's pretty good. I liked it.

Most of the things you like, you just sort of nod your head and move on, but it's the things you really hate. That's what seems to get us riled up. And that's what we seem to talk about most. We complain about most. So anyone that puts anything out in the world has to understand how to handle haters, not to be triggered by them, not to be distracted by them, not to be made bitter by them, not to be made worse by them. Talk soon. be made worse by them. Talk soon. If you wanna come see me talk, if you wanna see me get over some of my own stage fright

and you wanna ask questions and hang out a bit, I would love to see you. I'm doing events in London, Rotterdam, and Dublin in early November. And then after that, Vancouver and Toronto. This is all basically the 12th through the 20th. So it's gonna be a busy November for me. So grab tickets, ryanholiday.net slash tour.

Both the events in Australia sold out. So these will sell out also. So grab your tickets. I'll see you all soon. If you like the daily stoic and thanks for listening, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. And before you go, would you tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey on Wondery.com slash survey.