The Daily Stoic - You Must Do This Dance | Cultivate Indifference

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

While most of us will never be an emperor or a rock star, we can imagine what it would be like.It would be so abnormal as to be dehumanizing. Indeed, this is what a lot of famous people say��that they often feel like an animal at a zoo.The point isn’t to say that we should pity famous people or even that we should try to avoid fame. The point is to say that, when we come across a famous person who seems to have stayed normal, we should learn how they did it.---And in todays Daily Stoic Journal reading, Ryan discusses the power of cultivating a certain type of indifference towards the struggles that enter into our lives.📚 You can get a signed copy of Stillness is the Key at The Painted Porch.✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more, including the new Stillness Key.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke Podcast early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wundery's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target. The new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. on music or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. Each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, illustrated with stories from history, current events, and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week, we try to do a deeper dive, setting a kind of Stoic

intention for the week, something to meditate on, something to think on, something to leave you with, to journal about whatever it is you happen to be doing. So let's get into it. You must do this dance. Well most of us will never be an emperor or a rock star. We can imagine what it would be like. We can imagine what it would be like to be recognized everywhere we go. That thousands or even millions of people chant our name to be constantly interrupted by

a fan wanting the photo to try to put on a disguise to go grocery shopping. It would be so abnormal as to be dehumanizing. Indeed, this is what a lot of famous people say. They say it feels like being an animal in the zoo. The point here isn't to say that we should pity famous people or even that we should try to avoid fame. The point is to say that when we come across a famous person who seems to have stayed normal, we should learn how they did it. In a recent profile of the Grammy-nominated musician, Maggy Rogers, who used her downtime throughout the pandemic to earn a master's degree

from Harvard Divinity School, the writer in residence at Harvard's Divinity School, Terry Tempest Williams, was quoted as saying, the bridge between a public life and a private life is stillness, having time to remember who you are and who you are not. And Rogers dances between motion and stillness, having time to remember who you are and who you are not, and Rogers dances between motion and stillness. As it happens, this is how Marcus Aurelius stayed normal too. It's how he avoided becoming Caesarified, as he put it, died in purple. He took his time to rejoice in perfect

stillness, to borrow his expression. He took time to slow down and clear his mind. He took time to look up at the stars, he said, to consider his insignificance. He took time to remind himself repeatedly in his journal, who he is and who he was not. You don't need to be a famous person to get value out of having some practices in your life that allow you to slow down and check in with yourself. Maybe it's journaling, maybe it's strenuous exercise, maybe it's frequent calls with a childhood friend who knows you better than anyone who keeps you grounded. Whatever it is, you must carve out time for stillness. You must do the things that remind you who you are and who you are not. You must dance between motion and stillness. You must stay normal.

I think as we sort of wrap up this year here, this idea of slowing down, getting to a place of stillness, starting the next year from a place of stillness is all the more important. Still, this is the key now, came out. I can't believe it. Three going on four years ago now. And of all the books I've written, it's the one whose ideas I find myself returning to most often because I need them. I'm busier than ever. I can recognize more than ever, have more going on than ever, but the world feels like it's going faster than ever. And so stillness is so important.

And I'm wishing you much stillness as we wind up this year and start the next one. If you haven't checked out stillness is the key. I hope you do. You can get it anywhere, books or sold. We've got some signed copies at the painted porch or at store.dailysteelic.com. Cultivate indifference. This comes to us from this week's meditation in the Daily Stoke Journal. Some people spend their lives chasing good things, health, wealth, pleasure, achievement. Others try to avoid the bad things with equal energy, sickness, poverty, pain. And these look like two drastically different approaches, but in the end, they are the same.

The Stokes continually reminded themselves that so many of the things we desire and avoid are beyond our control. Instead of chasing impossibilities, the Stoics trained to be equally prepared and equally suited to thrive in any condition. They trained to be indifferent. And this is a great power and a cultivation of this skill is a very powerful exercise.

Of all the things that are some are good, others bad, and yet others indifferent. The good are virtues in all that share in them, the bad are vices in all that indulge them, the indifferent lie in between virtue and vice and include wealth, health, life, death, pleasure, and pain. Epictetus's discourses. My reason choice is as indifferent to the reason choice of my neighbor and as to his breath and body. However much we've been made for cooperation, the ruling reason in each of us is a master of its own affair. If this weren't the case, the evil in someone else would become my harm and God didn't mean for someone else to control my misfortune. Marcus Aurelius' meditations, 856. There are things in life which are

advantageous and disadvantageous both are beyond our control. That's Seneca Moral Letters 92. This idea of good, bad, and then a sort of a third category. It's interesting to be. I talk a little bit about this in lives of the Stokes. The early Stokes were much more cynical, this in lives of the Stokes, you know, the early Stokes were much more cynical and I mean that much closer to the cynics, the philosophical school, the idea that like there's good and bad, there's virtue and vice. And everything is one of those categories. And there's a lot of argument about this. I think it's the later Stokes, the more practical pragmatic Stokes that go, I mean, sure,

but there's also stuff in between. There is such a thing as gray area, and it's impractical and unrealistic to assume that there's not. You know, Seneca talks about sort of preferred indifference. Like, is it better to be short or tall? I mean, it's not good or bad either way, but he says, if you're short or tall, that's is what it is, but if you had a choice, you'd probably pick call, right? You'd probably pick a rich over poor.

It doesn't mean that it's virtuous to be rich, but if you had a choice, you'd choose it. So that's just like a sort of an interesting side stoke debate, but this main thing is like, look, the stoke is good either way. It's not that the stokes love misfortune and the stokes don't want success or ease or happiness or any of these things.

It's, no, the stokes are ready for whatever life throws at them. This sets them up to not be disappointed when life does throw adversity. But it also, and it also puts them in a position where they're not yearning for a craving something good or ease or or luck, or success, they're just cool with however it is. That's what Zen means, right? You're just philosophical about it. You're just chill about it. You've got an even keel. And so,

so this idea of indifference is not like nihilism. It's actually this kind of resiliency, this ability to be good with whatever happens, with whatever life throws at you. What I rather, we not have been through this pandemic, yeah, probably, but I manage to find my space inside of it. I focused on what I could do inside of it. What I have loved for parts of my childhood to be different? Would I have loved to be a little bit taller? Would I have loved to be this or that?

Yeah, sure. If I had a choice, but I didn't have a choice. So I adjust and I make do. You know, Seneca talks, and I think he's quoting from Crescippus, or maybe it's Clientes, but he's saying, like, look, a wise man wants stuff, but it doesn't need it, right? We make do with what it is, we're good with the car, we play the hand, we're dealt. But if you're asking us what cards we want,

if you're, you know, as the cards are flipping over, as they're one, we would prefer probably. So in difference is this complicated tricky thing in stuicism, but I think at the end of the day, it's pretty common sense goal, right? You'd rather be tall, but you're cool being short. You'd rather have use of all your limbs, but if something happened, you'd keep going, right?

You know, Santa, because as you'd rather see, but if you lost your eye and battle, that wouldn't be the end of it for you. You'd adjust, you'd make do. And that's the power of stoicism. We'll respond, we'll endure, we'll survive, we'll make the best of everything. And that we're indifferent, but we're actually quite strong and confident because of that indifference. So think about that this week. If you want

to journal about it in your daily stoke, journal great, but try to cultivate the strength of endurance. These are my keys. You might hear them jangling there. When I come up to my office here, I grab what is the biggest and coolest and paniest of the keys on my key ring. It's a stillness is the key key. As I was thinking about how to create

a physical embodiment of a reminder of stillness is the key. As I was thinking about how to create a physical embodiment of a reminder of stillness. I mean, obviously I've got the tattoo on my arm, but I didn't want to make a coin. I thought I'd make a key. We found this amazing manufacturer and this amazing designer to help us make something super cool. It's a picture of a rock. It has waves crashing over it, like as Marcus really has said, be like the rock that the waves crash over and eventually the sea falls still around. And then it says at the top, it says stillness. And I've loved this thing.

It's not my key ring for my office as I was saying. And I think I'm really gonna like this one. It comes in this cool black box. It says adoraxia. makes a great gift as a reminder for someone in your life that's maybe too busy, too chaotic, doesn't have enough reflective time in their life, needs to step back, needs to create some peace in their lives internally

and externally. You can check this out at dailystillic.com. Slash stillness key, or just go to store.da dailystoic.com slash stillness key or just go to store. dailystoic.com and you'll find it there. Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.