The Daily Zeitgeist - Alexa, Was My Life Good? JFK: Solved! 10.15.18
Episode Date: October 15, 2018In episode 252, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and Bechdel Cast host Caitlin Durante to discuss new Amazon Echo devices, how Amazon found a way to screw over their warehouse workers, Trump want...ing to replace Nikki Haley with a woman because of Kavanaugh, the fact that we are due for another financial crisis, Republican pair posing as communists to make Democratic donation, Democrats needing to push to adopt Australian voter laws, a Mad Max festival in the desert, a new theory about the JFK assassination, a women being kicked off a plane for bringing her emotional support squirrel aboard, bloidwatch, and more! FOOTNOTES:1. Here are the five new Amazon Echo devices available now2. Amazon Warehouse Workers Lose Bonuses, Stock Awards for Raises3. Eyeing midterm gender gap, Trump aides seek woman for U.N. post4. Republican pair apparently pose as communists to make Democratic donation5. Australia election: Why is voting compulsory?6. The Strangest Desert Festival In the World Makes Everyone’s Mad Max Dreams Come True7. Lee Harvey Oswald’s little green book shows JFK wasn't the real target8. Flight Delayed After Woman Brings An ‘Emotional Support Squirrel’ Onboard9. WATCH: Mk.gee - You Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated.
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Hello, the internet, and welcome to Season 53,
Episode 1 of Dirt Daily Zeitgeist.
We're Monday, October 15, 2018.
My name's Jack O'Brien, a.k.a.
No woman, no Brian. No woman Jack O'Brien, a.k.a. No Woman O'Brien. No Woman O'Brien. Hey! And that was courtesy of Hannah Soltis.
Again.
Always. That was also my nickname in high school.
Hannah Soltis?
And I'm thrilled to be joined. No, No Woman O'Brien.
Oh.
And I'm thrilled to be joined, as always, by my co-host, Mr. Miles Gray.
Life is like a hurricane here in Zeitburg.
Over, under, hosnier.
It's a Zeitblur.
Might solve a mystery.
Do-do-do.
Or rewrite history.
Zeitgang.
Woo-hoo.
Every day they're out there making zeitgeist.
Woo.
Tales with Taters O'Brien and Miles Gray.
Oh, woo.
That was messed up.
I fucked the rhythm up on the last part.
But you know what?
Shout out to you, Lauren Pacelle, and your wonderful husband at Just Chen.
That was like a marriage came together to create that wonderful DuckTales-inspired
AAA.
They're like that married couple that wrote Let It Go.
Oh, yes.
Writes all the great Disney songs.
Hey, y'all might have a future.
Yeah.
Well, we're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by one of the hosts of the amazing Bechdel
cast, a hilarious comedian, Latin dancer UTI.
She is Caitlin Durante.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, hi, hi, hi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
AKA, are you ready for another anagram? More anagrams? Oh, yeah. Oh,ante. Hi. Hi. Hey, hi, hi. AKA, are you ready for another anagram?
More anagrams?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, baby.
Caitlin Durante, anagrams to trained in a cult.
Oh, trained in a cult.
Trained in a cult.
You trained in a cult.
Yeah, like I got my training in a cult.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
Your Nike Cortez and purple hoodie look wonderful.
Thank you so much.
Did I wear a purple hoodie?
Oh, yeah.
I thought it was a shroud, I think.
They just had that purple shroud.
I don't even know what color.
It's about Marshall Applewhite, Heaven's Gate, that whole thing.
They were trying to get on the Hale-Bopp comet.
They castrated themselves before killing themselves.
I guess you can't do it after, but it seems like a bad last thing to do.
Yeah.
Please hit me with another anagram.
Oh, I've got one more.
This comes from at Aaron Womack, shared, urine-clad taint.
That's great.
Urine-clad taint.
You might just have the best name for anagramming.
Thank you.
It's so versatile.
What the fuck?
All right.
Well, we're going to get to
know you even better. But first, we're going to tell our listeners what they're in store for.
We're going to be talking about Amazon's five new Echo gadgets and just the ambient computing in
general. Also, we'll mention Amazon's policy. I think the last time we were talking about them,
we were talking about the fact that they went up to $15 an hour. Yay.
We'll talk about how they accomplished that.
We're going to talk about the president's plan to replace Nikki Haley.
We're going to talk about the financial world.
You go to me for financial advice for the market report, and I'm here to continue telling you what's up.
We're going to talk about an amazing attempted stunt by the Republican Party in Arizona.
Straight dumbness.
Straight dumbness.
Mr. Dumbness.
Mr. Tumnus.
We're going to talk about the Mad Max Festival that's going down in California, and I am
going to further solve
the JFK assassination.
Fire up the conspiracy music.
It might not have been a JFK assassination
in the first place.
What?
That doesn't sound like anything,
but it'll make sense later.
Anyways, Caitlin, what's something from your search history
that is revealing about who you are?
I googled Jurassic Park Dr. Grant hat.
Okay.
Because I intend to potentially dress up
as a combination of Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler
from Jurassic Park.
I'm going to do my own couple's costume.
Dr. Nellie Grant.
Oh, huge.
Yeah, thank you so much.
What kind of hat is that?
What is this?
That's why I had to google it,
because it's not a fedora. It's
not a cowboy hat. It's like something in the middle, but I don't know what that type of hat
is called. What's the other doctor's name? Dr. Ian Malcolm, perhaps? No, no, no. Dr. Ellie
Sattler. Ellie. I thought it was Nellie. Okay, anyway. It looks like somebody who owns a coffee plantation in Venezuela
would wear.
I thought it was an
Indiana Jones hat.
It's like a wider brim.
It's like a cowboy hat, but it's kind of
made of organic material.
Like straw or something. It's like a fedora
with a brim that's way too wide.
I don't know. If you know
what type of hat that's called so I can buy it.
I mean, when you Googled it, did you see that there's just fedoras.com
and then Jurassic Park hats?
Dr. Grant's straw hat is a Stetson Retro Panama Straw Fedora.
Oh, okay.
And the Scala Grade 3 Panama Sea Crown hat.
Hello.
With a black ribbon.
Okay, well, now I know.
For the Lord Dern character,
will you have one of your arms
just up to the shoulder
covered in shit?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'll probably get
like a little,
like a plastic glove
and rub some chocolate on it.
Nice.
Or you just go to
any livestock yard.
They have those gloves
that go up to the shoulder.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, I'll just go to
a livestock place. Go up to five, you Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah, just go to a live card, a livestock place.
Go up to five, you know, right there.
One thing I always Googled in Jurassic Park was what the fuck happened to Samuel L. Jackson?
You know what I mean?
Because his arm just pops up.
Right.
In the thing.
And I found out, I interviewed him.
I was like, yo, you have to, like, what the, why did your arm, we saw you and then your
arm just touched her in that room when she was trying to turn on the breakers.
Right.
Basically, the hurricane blew the
set down and he was supposed to have a chase
scene where raptors were chasing
him into that space.
But the hurricane wiped the set out so they're
like, fuck it, we can't shoot it so we'll just
improvise and just say your arm showed up.
I didn't really need more backstory for what his arm was
doing there.
I guess it's weird that the
raptors
put props to his arm.
You're like, yo, yo, yo, act like it's him.
Yo, this is going to freak them out.
Well, they're very clever.
Yes.
Clever girls.
Clever girls.
So what is something you think is overrated?
The Bradley Cooper, A Star is Born.
Whoa.
Is it overrated?
Overrated.
Yeah, I'll be honest with you.
I thought it was a born identity movie.
What?
And Bradley Cooper was the new Jason Bourne.
Is that really what you thought?
No.
And I should say that because people tend to think everything we say on this show is
real.
I knew what pomplemousse was, you fools.
I've had people, I said that, and well, LaCroix does silly made up words for flavors like
pomplemousse.
And people have been hitting me like daily being like, yo, pomplemousse is French for-
It's on the can.
Yeah.
It's no shit.
It's right there.
It's translated.
I don't know if y'all noticed, this is not a real news show.
It's a half-ass second rate thing where comedians talk about nonsense.
That was the joke.
So why is A Star is Born overrated?
I don't know.
I thought it was way too long.
It's over two hours long.
It's kind of sloppy in its storytelling.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know.
Things it could have explored in terms of what it's like to become a celebrity and all this
stuff kind of gets glossed over.
Or having a last name.
The whole, not to spoil anything,
but how it treats mental illness
is like, okay.
Should we not spoil it?
Nah, let people watch it.
My main problem with it is a major spoiler,
but the ending seems unearned.
Let's give people two weeks
and then after that you're like,
I'm sorry, you missed the
book, and regular media consumers are talking about it.
You're really nitpicking the structure as if you know a lot about film.
Well, thank you for noticing.
What is your background?
Well, I just happen to have a master's degree in screenwriting from Boston University.
I don't drop the bomb.
Whoa.
I can't believe I get a sound effect.
I just had to set that up.
Oh, goodness gracious.
Yes, I would never, I hate to mention it.
I hate to bring it up.
Yes, of course.
But I do have those accolades.
I love making you mention it.
And that's why you have that giant belt buckle
so you don't have to mention it
because it's written on your belt buckle.
That's right.
As well as my locket and my shirt.
Right.
Yeah.
Overall, you just felt like he was the overrated part.
Did you enjoy the film as a whole?
No, I mean, Bradley Cooper, as in like, he's the director of it.
He's the auteur, Miles.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
Because there are several other A Star is Born.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's a franchise, if you will.
I thought his performance was good.
Yeah, I thought that, the movie was well acted, I would say.
But as far as a movie that was entertaining for me personally to watch, it was not.
Fell short.
Fair, fair.
So let's move on to maybe a movie you enjoyed more and you're underrated.
Oh, I'd be happy to.
The Full Monty.
Almost as if you have a film podcast it's almost as if what is the
bechdel cast by the way i just forgot uh yeah i'm happy to remind you um it's a podcast where we
talk about the portrayal and representation of women in movies through an intersectional feminist
lens and it's fun and uh jamie frequent podcast guest, Jamie Loftus, is my co-host.
Lil Zayn.
Mensa Nemesis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we pick a different movie every time.
We just celebrated our 100th episode.
Oh, shout out to you.
What did you do for your 100th?
We did Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Oh, interesting.
Which, believe it or not, does not fare well when it comes to representing women.
But she can drink so much.
I know.
I'm very much like her in that way.
Oh, that's right.
That first scene, huh?
Yeah.
Isn't that her just doing wild shots?
Yeah, she's taking like 15 shots of just like hard liquor.
Was the significance of that because it's a favorite of you guys' that movie?
It's a favorite of mine, and it features Alfred Molina.
Oh,
right.
Yeah.
Locked in.
Then diagram.
Yeah.
It's almost like you guys are dismantling the patriarchy one movie at a
time.
Yeah.
It's almost as if you guys are saying boilerplate.
It's one of my favorite podcasts.
We're so thrilled to have you on the network.
What's great about The Full Monty?
Well, there's not many women in that movie either.
That's what's great about it.
Okay, moving on.
But they dance so high.
And there's an Arsenal reference, which I like.
Yeah, check it out.
Not a super well-known film.
I felt like when it came out, though, like what?
Was that 98 or something?
97. Like everyone was talking that 98 or something? 97.
Like, everyone was talking about it, right?
Yeah.
Or maybe I'm in LA,
so I grew up in LA,
so I always, people,
films were, like, a thing that was talked about.
I lived in Kentucky at the time,
and it was still a thing
that was being talked about there,
but it wasn't a thing that really lasted,
I feel like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not, like, one of those movies
that people think of as a classic.
Sure.
But they should.
Right.
I throw it in the category of Billy Elliot and Waking Ned Devine as like British movies
that broke through.
Bolly, Billy?
Bolly.
Bolly.
Bolly.
What is a myth?
What's something people think is true that you know to be false?
a myth what's something people think is true that you know to be false well staying consistent on the movie theme here um did you know that the snowman the 2017 film is not a movie about a man
who was bitten by radioactive snow no i had no, see. I assumed it was a prequel to Jack Frost in which it's just the snowman before it becomes possessed by Michael Keaton.
Yeah.
And it's just the snowman sitting there.
This kid I went to elementary school with, he was a bully who bullied the main character kid in Jack Frost.
Oh, really?
Like one of the snowboard punks.
And then he was just found with a carrot through his neck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his eyes were taken out and coal was in his eye sockets.
That movie is wild.
I rewatched that last year, Jack Frost.
I've never seen it.
Oh, wow.
It's a feat.
With your technical knowledge of film, you would love it.
Oh, yeah.
We'll be sure to cover it on the Bechdel cast.
So The Snowman is that one that was really bad that was like, ha ha, Mr. Policeman.
I didn't see that one either, but I do know enough.
So how do you know it's not about a radioactive snowman?
You're right, you're right.
So I shouldn't.
Wow.
I'm trying to myth bust over here
and I don't even know the myth I'm trying to bust.
And you haven't even seen the source material.
That movie was terrible, right?
Yeah, it was famously.
As garbage.
Right.
That's a recurring bit on Caitlyn's Twitter.
You can...
Every time a movie comes out with man in the...
Oh, yeah.
What was the last one you did?
Oh, gosh.
I feel like I just read one.
Oh, there's all kinds.
Like in the last couple weeks.
Probably.
I don't remember.
Anyway.
Well, we're going to move on to the news of the day, of our moment, of the zeitgeist. So Amazon's releasing five new
Echo gadgets. And I thought this was a good opportunity for us to talk about ambient
computing, just this idea of homes that are run by computers that aren't visible, that we're not
interacting with in any physical way. Because I've been
reading for years that this is the future, and now I'm starting to see it in daily life. It's
probably the most useful piece of technology in my home when it comes to parenting, because you
don't want your kids talking to you, exactly. But you don't want them having to interact with screens too much or, you know, my son can get fixated on like buttons.
But he knows how to just tell Alexa to play a song.
How old is your son?
I don't have to like take out a two.
He can speak in full sentences?
No, he just knows to say, Alexa, play happy.
Oh, he loves that Pharrell song?
Yeah, yeah, he likes that Pharrell song.
Okay, my bad. But yeah, that's one of the Oh, he likes that Pharrell song? Yeah, he likes that Pharrell song. But yeah,
that's one of the first forms of language that he knows. He doesn't speak in full sentences that
often, but he can talk to Alexa pretty easily. And I've read articles from other parents who say
the same thing, that it's just super intuitive to kids and it just, you know, having something that you don't have to take out and look at is just really helpful, at least when it comes to parenting.
What other stuff do kids do on Alexa besides just being like, play this song?
There's, like, games.
You can play Jeopardy.
In fact, when I said the other day, I was like, let's go watch my friend Alex on Jeopardy.
He ran to the Alexa and thought we were going to play Jeopardy on Alexa.
Yeah.
Your son plays Jeopardy already?
No.
I mean, we just like play it together, basically.
I thought he was like into like-
I'm trying to get good so that I can challenge Alex.
Good luck, bro.
Dude, he is so-
Alex Schmidt.
Alex Schmidt is
destroying the world
four nights in a row.
A lot of parents do have their kids
interact with it. I think a while back we were talking
about how there was a nanny mode, like a Mary
Poppins mode that made sure your kids would say please
and thank you. Because too many kids
parents are like, yo, I don't like that my kid is just
getting used to demanding shit
from a thing.
So they have those kinds of things built in for the children.
Well, my biggest problem with these types of things is they're all female or feminized voices.
So it's like, hey, boss this woman around because women have historically been in service roles.
So we as a society feel comfortable just being like, do this for me. Play this song yeah i think you can change like i know on your phone siri can be something else
yeah i don't wonder if amazon can not but google's main voice thing is a young man see there you go
default to right women yeah yeah but the things that they're releasing are pretty echo show.
It's like a TV screen that you're putting on.
So it's an Alexa with a screen, which ruins the thing that I was just talking about.
There's also, they're just releasing outlets that you can control with your voice.
So just all the different devices in your house you can turn on and off with just voice commands.
Doesn't that make you feel more vulnerable though like i don't think it's providing me that much of a convenience where i'm like yeah i want
something that is connected to the internet right to do that i mean the lex i'm fine with whatever
like i'm just asking it to play like jay dillard or something but like a switch i just think of
that part in mr robot where they hacked that woman's house and like had her fucking fire
alarms and shit going off and she had to leave and her thermostats were going wild.
Anyway, that's how I think the real world works.
Right.
That's an insight to my mind.
I just feel like it's going to be so intuitive eventually
that we'll just constantly have a recording
of every conversation that we have just across anywhere.
And we can be like okay what was that
babysitter's phone number or what was like just call up all these things and it'll just be able
to but then we won't use our memories right we already don't i you're right
um but yeah like think about being able to just always have like a record of everything that was
said in your house so that
you can be like you know that was a black mirror episode right exactly and look at all the problems
that caused that couple well that one was that was like all memories right yeah you like could
rewind from your memory like and you're like what happened here again and right wait till your google
glasses do that shit though yeah but they're basically working on making it. This is what they're putting a lot of their R&D into.
And since they have all the money in the world, that's a lot of R&D research and development budget that's going into that.
And Google and Apple and Amazon.
And, you know, they're actually selling these things at a loss to just get them inside your home because they feel like
this is like they're planting a virus yeah like a toehold that they can then build out like an
entire infrastructure on top of these devices they're thinking like fucking dope dealers yeah
yeah yo give them that first hit for free yo all capitalism is yeah it's all dope dealing yeah
there's that movie uh the act of, or is that what it's called?
The documentary?
The Snowman.
The Snowman.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's like this foreign country that had a big genocide, essentially, and the people
who committed the genocide are still in power, and it follows them around as they deal with
the knowledge of having committed a genocide.
But in that country, the coolest thing, the ideal figure is the gangster.
And it's basically that versus communism.
They think of the gangster as the epitome of capitalism.
And they're just like, yeah.
Oh, that was the one about Indonesia, right?
Yeah, the act of killing.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember that.
And they were reenacting shit, right?
Yeah, they were reenacting the murder.
It's a great movie.
Anyways, Amazon screws their workers.
They took away all their benefits to pay for those higher hourly wages.
So employees will actually make less money overall with this wage increase, quote unquote.
That's how they keep all the money in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so funny where they're like, wow, $15 minimum wage, but we're eliminating your
bonuses and stock awards.
Yeah.
It's not good.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
But now you can, when you're in the kitchen, just say, Alexa, set my egg timer for 30 seconds.
So, I mean, that's good. Alexa, find me a job.
Right. There you go. All right. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017,
was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I've been thinking about you.
I want you back in my life.
It's too late for that.
I have a proposal for you.
Come up here and document my project.
All you need to do is record everything like you always do.
One session.
24 hours.
BPM 110.
120. She's terrified
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this?
We passed the review board a year ago
We're not hurting people There's nothing dangerous about, you're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television,
iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from?
Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs?
Hi, I'm Eva Longoria.
Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon.
Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back.
Season two. Season two.
Are we recording? Are we good?
Oh, we push record, right?
And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history.
Saying that the most popular cocktail is the margarita,
followed by the mojito from Cuba,
and the piña colada from Puerto Rico.
So all of these...
We have, we think, Latin culture.
There's a mention of blood sausage in Homer's Odyssey
that dates back to the 9th century B.C.
B.C.?
I didn't realize how old the hot dog was.
Listen to Hungry for History as part of the My Cultura podcast network,
available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
When you think of Mexican culture, you think of avocado, mariachi, delicious cuisine, and of course, lucha libre.
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Cultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts.
Ever used stream podcasts.
And we're back and the hunt is on for a replacement for Nikki Haley.
And the Trump administration apparently has some ideas about who they want to go with, right?
Yeah.
Well, so obviously Nikki Haley, she resigned as a UN ambassador and somehow resigned without Trump like tearing her down on Twitter and like had this really nice thing where they're like, oh, I love her.
And so now that she's leaving, they're like, OK, we can only have a woman replace her because
right now they're looking at the optics and they're so one dimensional.
They're thinking they're like, OK, well, what's his approval rating with women?
OK, 30 percent.
Now they are in a scramble to crown some lady, some woman to be queen smoke scream of patriarchy
before the midterms to help people.
And now this is a quote from an actual White House aide.
They want to have a woman, announce a woman before the midterms to help people, quote,
get over all the Kavanaugh stuff.
All the Kavanaugh stuff.
All the Kavanaugh stuff.
My new podcast, all the Kavanaugh stuff. All the Kavanaugh stuff. All the Kavanaugh stuff. My new podcast, all the Kavanaugh stuff.
Wow.
Yeah, so that was very, I mean, you know,
they're very transparent to what they're thinking here.
But then, you know, Dina Powell was someone
that they were talking about bringing back,
and she is actually just raking up the leaves
and the cash at Goldman Sachs
and basically withdrew her name. They're like, no, no, no, I don't want anything to do with this. I'm making and the cash at Goldman Sachs and basically withdrew her name.
They're like, no, no, no, I don't want anything to do with this.
I'm making so much money at Goldman Sachs now.
Please leave me alone.
So, you know, the hunt continues.
I know Trump would love for Ivanka to be the UN ambassador,
but he's like, oh, but they're going to think it's nepotism.
Right.
He said she's obviously the most qualified in the world but because she made handbags in
china right like i really have you have no foreign policy experience but whatever you know jared
kushner solving the middle east with muhammad bin salman so yeah maybe she's it's good insight
into the mind of somebody like a corrupt person who you know he's convinced himself that his
daughter is literally the smartest person in the world so he doesn't have to who, you know, he's convinced himself that his daughter is literally
the smartest person in the world. So he doesn't have to feel like, you know.
Or he just knows he can control them.
Right. Well, yeah, there's that too. But I think liars and people who are corrupt,
like have convinced themselves of convenient details.
Right, right, right.
So that it's not so hard to-
Make those decisions.
Make those decisions.
He just gets to believe that his daughter
is the smartest, most competent person
in the history of the universe.
Yeah, well, hopefully this will help people
get over all the Kavanaugh stuff.
Right.
Just like that.
So speaking of Dina Powell being at Goldman Sachs
and just absolutely raking it up,
and we think that Nikki Haley, at least partially, is leaving to go just make tons of money because right now is just high time to be robbing the country of all its money.
And I think there's some acknowledgement on their behalf that this won't last forever.
So better get in while we can.
While the getting is
good right so this story's been on the dock for a couple weeks that it was the 10-year anniversary
of the financial crisis uh last month and a lot of the stories about that were kind of acknowledging
that they never really solved the problem at least the structural problem as it exists, because the-
Of the crash, you mean?
Yeah, of the crash. They solved it in the sense that they funded the shit out of the banks,
and the market has gone back up, and they've made it really beneficial to make money on the stock market but they haven't like the way they solved it is just
could cause additional structural issues they like treated the symptoms but not the actual
right yeah problem yeah yeah and by the way so i talked about the stock market dropping
last week and uh you know it's just been a real roller coaster ever since then, guys. But somebody explained it to me in plain English.
They said, essentially, the stock market has been accelerating in growth and the federal bank got worried about inflation and raised interest rates.
That makes government bonds more attractive.
So people sold their stocks to buy bonds.
So that's what all that stuff that sounded like.
Wow. Shout out to the person who spoke
plain English. I know. That person's name is Master Defenestrator. Oh, shit. Darvitt C. on
Twitter. But anyways, there are studies suggesting that the good times, you know, America, since the
financial crash has experienced just nonstop growth and expansion of the markets. But The Economist just wrote an article saying,
you know, we're due for a recession. All the conditions are right for an eventual recession.
And one of the things they're pointing to is just that the American economy has never experienced
growth and expansion at this rate for more than 10 years. And they're saying that the
state of the global market is not prepared for another recession. And the thing that just struck
me when reading about the last market crash is that the first one basically happened when Wall
Street banks preyed on people
who couldn't pay back the loans they were giving them. And the way we got out of it was to bail
out the banks. And so today, the banks are making more money than they've ever made before.
And the people who kind of got screwed during the first crash never really got made whole in any real sense.
And they were saying that today, 20 million more people rent than own homes compared to before the
financial collapse. So that was like a big part of the financial collapse was the real estate market.
And the way they addressed it was by just giving all the money to the banks. Now the banks own all
the homes and they just like rent them out to people essentially. Yeah. Now the banks own all the homes and they just rent them out to people,
essentially. Yeah. So the market's doing extremely well because banks have all the money and
corporations are doing incredibly well because of the tax cut. So it seems like it's an experiment
in they don't want the stock market to crash because that's how you kick off recessions. So what if you just fund like the top 10%
and only fund the corporations and the banks and just don't worry about the rest of the country,
what's going to happen? And whether it's pitchforks and torches or some sort of market
crash, it will probably eventually manifest itself in some way or another. Well, the American empire is collapsing as we speak.
So that makes sense.
That tracks with most empirical collapse.
Yeah.
It just seems like not an overall sustainable model.
It's amazing how everything you just described was the actual plot of the snowman.
That's right.
And he was the one to save us.
He's our savior.
He's like, whoa, guys, let me get a hold of this thing.
I'm a snowman.
Let's talk about the Arizona congressional race between Democrat Tom O'Halloran.
Yeah, Tom O'Halloran, he's an incumbent congressman in Arizona, Democrat, and he's running against a woman named Wendy Rogers.
But that's not really the point here.
So apparently last week at Tom O'Halloran's campaign office, two young men came in and
they said they were college students and they came with a jar of money and they said,
we would like to make a donation to the Tom O'Halloran campaign.
And they're like, OK, cool.
Give us your jar of money.
They had about 39 bucks in it. And they're like, they're like, oh, cool. Give us your jar of money. They had about 39 bucks in it.
And they're like, they're like, oh, can we get a receipt for this? And they're like, oh, yeah,
sure, sure. And they're like, we're from the Northern Arizona University Communist Party,
like young communists. Can you put that on the receipt? Like they really wanted a receipt that
basically said, I take money from communists essentially was like something they were like,
they're like, I need, I just need this receipt.
So the second they were like really insisting on that, they knew they could smell some shit.
They knew some dumbness was going down.
And the finance director for his campaign, Lindsey Coleman, was not here for the dumbness.
She took the money, drove immediately to the local Republican like field office.
And just there's like a video of it where she's like, hi, I had two young men who came in.
They said their names were something and something.
They tried to donate money to our campaign, but I felt like something was wrong.
She's like, oh, wait, there he is.
And one of the guys in the campaign office sees the camera and goes in the door.
He gave a false name to them.
They're like, oh, I think his name was Jose or something.
And the guy's like, no, that's Oscar.
And they're like, okay, well, then Oscar came and said his name was this other thing.
He's like, and that's illegal.
So this is kind of where they're at now, where they're like resorting to the dumbest fucking tactics to try and get any kind of advantage.
As we've seen just with voter suppression is obviously the most aggressive one. But then it all trickles down to shit like this
where you're like,
hey, make it look like he took communist money
or whatever.
And like, are we living in the 50s?
Like, you think that's going to swing your race?
I mean, I don't know all of the factors
that are being weighed in this race
that if somehow tying him to communism would do it,
but it just felt like really odd
and a sad attempt at trying to get one up on your opponent.
Yeah, what was their plan then?
They were like going to run a smear campaign to be like,
he takes money from communists.
I think quite literally, yes.
And then they would be like,
wait, those guys work for the Republican Party.
And it's just so, it's really sloppy.
It's just so-
Well, so brave of them then for pretending to be communists
when they're actually Republicans.
Thank-
Yes.
Brave.
I think, yeah, you're right.
We're overlooking the real heroes in this story, not the finance director.
I wonder if they were dressed like Castro era gorillas from the 60s.
The cigar revolution.
Cuban revolution.
Yeah.
One guy's dressed like Che Guevara and the other dude is like Stalin or something.
And there is video that you can check
that somehow got out of Lindsay Coleman,
the finance director, just going in and being like,
hey, we just had some, oh, there he is.
It's so weird, and the guy immediately goes, yeah,
and then walks into another room
and closes the door and tries to hide. It's so weird. And the guy immediately goes, yeah, and then walks into another room and closes the door and tries to hide.
It's so bad.
And this is like, just so you know, it's illegal.
I'm going to probably tell the FEC and the police about this because this is nonsensical.
Yeah.
There's just all sorts of more news at the end of last week about voter purges. I think there was something happening in Indiana where
they purged 200,000 people from their voter rolls and like 20,000 of them were illegally purged. And
yeah, just insanely aggressive attempts at suppressing the vote.
Oh yeah. And even North Dakota too had a voter ID law upheld by the
Supreme Court that would keep a lot of Native Americans living in that area from voting, too.
What is the possible argument? When Democrats go back aggressively at this, or let's say the
Democrats, once they get into power 50 years from now after the Third world war let's say they say we want australia's law
in place where you have to vote or you face like a small fine uh but you do have to vote like that
it's a it's the law you know uh and australia has like a 98 percent you know uh participation 98% participation in voting, and therefore Australia's population is better represented by their government than they are in our country.
What is the possible ideological argument?
Because the government can't force you to do anything.
Right.
Just like when they were talking about with Obamacare and stuff, they trying to argue that like they can't force people into a plan or whatever that
you know what i mean like they're it's it's gonna fall on some kind of freedom argument
right like you shouldn't they shouldn't if you don't want to vote then fine it's a right you
have but it's not a when they're making it harder for people to vote uh what is what is their
argument like other than like i know why
they're doing it it's voter fraud it's always voter fraud they just claim voter fraud so they're
still leaning on the voter fraud thing even though there's that's why i just go the other way and be
like well then fucking prove it right well no that's they have said that fucking prove it and
they can't and right but i'm saying that's why just at the very least it's like saying well
we're worried about chemtrails right whatever like well i don't care saying that's why just at the very least it's like saying, well, we're worried about chemtrails or whatever.
Like, well, I don't care because that's not real, but this is what's actually going down, sir.
So you can keep talking about that shit, but this is what's right.
Like there should be no laws that are infringing on someone's ability to vote.
And that's really what the argument is against all these like wildly aggressive voter suppression laws.
Yeah. Because that's really, like after 2012 when they took that L,
Republicans just went whole hog on like ramping up the dumbness,
the fuckery to keep people from voting.
Because they didn't like what the electorate was starting to look like for them.
And they're like, okay, so how do we just disenfranchise all these people?
Right.
Yeah.
I feel like somebody isn't saying something obvious or something.
Or at the very least, start small, right?
Give people the day off to vote.
Yeah.
Like in other places, too, where it's like, yo, nobody works today, so fucking go vote.
Yeah.
Like, you don't have an excuse.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some people will do the, you know, close Disneyland, make sure nobody's fucking partying.
Right.
Well, you have to, because everybody has a day off.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing, is that I've heard it argued, well, if you do that, then there's still going to be stores that are open.
And, you know, those people who are like more blue collar or like hourly employees will still have to work.
And it's like, no, just make it a national holiday.
Make it a paid day off.
Yeah.
No, it's one day.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? So don't start doing these capitalist tactics of being like, well, our bottom line of blah, blah, blah.
Or like, oh, you know, these people could lose money.
Then just pay them.
I think at the very least, all people should be able to get on the boat of let's make voting easy as possible so everybody can participate in this representative democracy.
Yeah.
Now, that's the hopeful version of our future.
Let's talk about the actual version of our future that people are preparing for because
there is a legitimate Mad Max festival in the California desert going on with an actual
Thunderdome.
With a Thunderdome.
Now, do you like the movie Mad Max?
Fury Road?
Fury Road is amazing.
Yes.
I have recently seen all of the other Mad Maxes as well.
Not such a big fan of those.
Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
But the aesthetic is something people love.
Sure.
And that idea, that world, right?
So on, I think, Jalopnik on that blog,
because they love cars over there,
they found out, they got into this thing that there's this Mad Max weekend, the Road Warrior weekend.
And that, it started eight years ago.
And that's what they called it.
But then they wanted to do something bigger.
And they started, I think it's called, I think it's called like the Wasteland Festival.
Yeah, Wasteland Weekend.
Wasteland Weekend.
And like the last one, there were were over 4,000 people that came.
And yo, they do not fuck around.
These people put so much time and energy into the costumes.
The journalist who was there was like, everyone is in costume the whole time.
And he's like, people like me or other Burning Man type people who are just more on that other wave,
they said looked like assholes.
Because everyone is wearing skulls on their heads and like,
like,
you know,
full on Mad Max garb.
And like,
you know,
they spend like weeks or like months,
years making custom cars that are just sort of like feel that they come
from that universe.
It's just a really,
the pictures are wild to me.
And I've kind of,
I'm interested in it. Just because it's,
like,
I just like seeing people take,
have such an attention to detail
for like,
like a movie thing
or any kind of IP
or something that they're into.
But they have all kinds of events.
They have a,
like I said,
Thunderdome
where people beat the shit
out of each other in armor.
Right.
And like,
you can watch.
I mean,
it's safe,
but there's still,
people are,
have just amazing suits of armor
and weapons.
Then there's a all gender, gloriously weird swimsuit competition, as they write in this article.
There's a bunch of bands that play, burlesque, fire dancing, and even a teetotaler meetup for people whose commitment to sobriety extends into the apocalypse.
You've got to have your A meetings in the apocalypse.
So it's for everybody.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Even in the apocalypse, sobriety is important.
It does seem like a cool, like I know there's like a big Lebowski festival in Kentucky on
an annual basis.
This feels like a very cool sort of universe to play in, like a cool sandbox.
Yeah.
Because like you can build stuff out of old scrap metal and like old cars and shit.
Like it just seems like there's more,
more to do in inside this universe.
Yes,
sir.
I mean,
uh,
yeah,
the Thunderdome definitely looks like the California love video.
Uh,
but like,
yeah,
there's like people who like rig like a coffin on a go-kart.
So if you were just like driving a car,
like a rusted coffin through the desert and shit,
I mean,
I,
uh,
I don't know how diverse the group is that participates in there.
I mean, I'm looking at a lot of, in another context, this would scare the shit out of me.
Right.
Is it all white guys?
Yes, there's mostly a lot of beards.
I would be like straight out of the deserts of East Oregon.
But no, these, you know, it looks like, okay, I'm seeing some people of color up in there.
All right. But, you know, the apocalypse shall not know hate because we are all dirty and dusty and dehydrated.
We all need a drink of water.
Yes, sir.
To go swimming in in our weird bathing suits.
But would you go?
No, absolutely not.
I would probably, I would love to see a documentary about it first.
Yeah.
But I just, yeah.
I mean, just seeing people live it
though there's something that just i don't know for someone who has like other fandoms i'm into
when i see this i'm like yeah all right you guys all got your little harry potter world going on
yeah it's a post-apocalyptic world yeah this maybe i would go actually this feels like a
more fun like universe to get into than like your harry potters and your other other worlds that
have wide devotion i mean, if they're like about
people's sobriety there, they have an all-gender
swimsuit competition, I can't feel like it's gonna be
that whack where I'd be like, ooh,
shit. Right. But also,
there's also a thing where it's like, this feels
almost too close to what a world
I could experience in the near future.
Right, right.
Do I want a preview of
my dusty life?
Can you do the, like, even if you are sober, can you then, like, use somebody who is drunk or on drugs as your blood bag to then get high off of their blood?
I don't know.
I don't know the bylaws, but you're welcome to find out.
All right.
We're going to take another quick break.
We'll be right back.
We're going to take another quick break.
We'll be right back.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
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I've been thinking about you.
I want you back in my life.
It's too late for that.
I have a proposal for you.
Come up here and document my project.
All you need to do is record everything like you always do.
One session, 24 hours.
BPM 110, 120.
She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this?
We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. They're just dreams. bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast,
Hungry for History,
is back.
Season two.
Season two.
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Oh, we push record, right?
Okay.
And this season,
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out of the most delicious food
and its history.
Saying that the most popular
cocktail is the margarita,
followed by the mojito
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and the piña colada from Puerto Rico.
So all of these...
We thank Latin culture.
There's a mention of blood sausage in Homer's Odyssey
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B.C.?
I didn't realize how old the hot dog was.
Listen to Hungry for History
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When you think of Mexican culture, you think of avocado, mariachi, delicious cuisine,
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It doesn't get more Mexican than this.
Lucha libre is known globally because it is much more than just a sport and much more than just entertainment.
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And we're back.
And yeah, it's already in.
Uh-oh, what are you about to talk about?
It's already begun. Uh-oh, what are you about to talk about? It's already begun.
Microwaves in Cuba?
As we know, Mondays are Bloid Watch Day.
Bloid Watch.
And we are going to get to some Bloid Watch in a moment.
Bloid Watch.
But first we want to start this segment off talking about one of the tabloids' favorite subjects, the JFK assassination.
favorite subjects, the JFK assassination.
So there's a new article in this crazy conspiracy theory outlet known as the LA Times.
Oh no, they've given you an inch now.
So basically, there's people who have said this for a long time that I wasn't aware of this theory, but a lot of people think Oswald wasn't trying to shoot JFK.
He was trying to shoot Connolly, who was in the front seat and who he did shoot.
And apparently he had like a long simmering beef with Connolly, who was, I think, the governor of Texas at that time.
And so Connolly did get shot.
And, you know, the bullet just went through the president first.
That was the second shot so
there are three shots uh in the jfk assassination one uh from oswald misses the car hits nearby
pavement like the pavement comes up and like hits the side of connelly like connelly got a little
cut and i think jfk you even see him like touch the side of his neck and then the
second shot goes through Kennedy like through his spinal cord like around his neck would have killed
him even if the third shot hadn't come and uh that shot is the one that like Oliver Stone was like
this magic bullet oh right but it's not there's nothing magical about it if you actually see the
way the bodies were lined up,
it's just it goes on a straight line through Kennedy into Connolly's, I think, arm.
And it goes through his arm and through his wrist.
Anyways, then there's the third shot, which, as I've talked about before,
I believe was not fired from Oswald because Oswald was shooting a weapon that had full metal jackets,
which means the bullet stays together. It goes through things like the second shot did and keeps
traveling. And the third shot just disintegrated. And, you know, as if you've seen the Zapruder
film, it like took off half of the president's head. And, you know, that bullet was never found,
presumably because it disintegrated. And that's a different type of bullet than the one that
Oswald's gun would be firing. Because Oswald was firing from such a distance, you need like heavy
bullets that can, you know, fly a long way. Maintain its velocity.
Yeah, maintain its velocity. And the third shot was this fast spinning type of thing that you see from assault weapons like the AR-10, which is basically the guy who came up with this theory was a munitions expert.
And he was like, well, it's just weird that the third shot didn't seem like it came from that gun at all.
And it also didn't seem like it came from the same place.
didn't seem like it came from that gun at all.
And it also didn't seem like it came from the same place.
And his theory was that one of the Secret Service agents in the trailing car,
after the first two shots, like pulled his gun, cocked it, getting it ready to go. And then when Kennedy was hit, the cars stopped, slowed down.
That caused the Secret Service agent to fall forward.
And he let off one shot that ended up being the third
shot that took off the side of the president's head. And then all of the cover-up that came
after that was just, you know, them trying to cover that fact up because it's not as,
you know, cool or legendary if the president dies in an accident. And also they didn't want
to ruin this guy's life. That Secret Service agent has since passed on.
But, you know, there's just all sorts of reasons to suggest that.
But this Connolly theory also fits really well into that
because it's like yet another accidental thing.
So Kennedy, he was trying to shoot the governor of Texas
and accidentally hit and killed the most popular president of the second half of the 20th century just like by accident.
And it's weird because they tried to cover that up too.
Like when they went to Oswald's house, there was like a notebook, like his diary open on the table.
And there was like a thing with like connelly's name and
a dagger through it like dripping with blood like junior high type right junior high type shit and
then that page just went missing from his yeah so what yeah and oswald's wife like said multiple
times during interviews like oh he was trying to kill connolly. He wasn't trying to kill JFK.
Like, wow, he's trying to kill Connolly.
Like that's it's been like a long held thing where there's just all sorts of evidence.
But it it also fits with the third shot coming from the Secret Service agent because it's the sort of thing that conspiracy theorists like don't want to believe because it's not cool it's just like history is like a
messy thing where people fuck up
constantly and are like doing the thing
they didn't intend to
and it's just not fun to believe
oh Oswald wasn't even trying to kill JFK
JFK was just like a
accidental bystander
like how Marvin got shot in Pulp Fiction
right exactly
boom oh shit and that's holding a gun and then boom, oh shit.
Yeah, and that's how a lot of deaths happen.
Yeah, actually.
Wait, so what's in the op-ed that is giving credence to this theory now?
It's somebody who had seen the-
Oh, Diary or whatever?
The Diary, yeah, back in the day.
And also, so they saw that back in the day and then had just always known that Connolly was the target or that Oswald had this grudge against Connolly.
Going back to he was trying to get the military to not give him a dishonorable discharge, essentially, because he went to Russia and tried to defect.
And Russia was like, we're not that interested.
Why don't you get out of here?
And so he came back and couldn't find work because the military had dishonorably discharged
him.
And he wrote to Connolly, who at that time was the head of the Marines in Texas, and
was like, look, as a fellow Texan, could you help me out and take this off my record?
It would help me get work.
And Connolly just kind of wrote him back and was like, like fuck off dude yeah see caitlin don't slowly walk out he knows what
he's talking about don't be weirded out this is the truth okay so i don't know it's it's just
interesting that they would try and cover this up that they have tried to cover it up it's also
they think that this op-ed doesn't suggest that they're covering it up because they don't want like history to know that it was an accident.
They say that Lyndon Johnson had a motive because he was friends with Connolly and didn't want Connolly to feel bad about being the sort of target of the Kennedy assassination.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
sort of target of the Kennedy assassination. Oh, right, the catalyst for it all, yeah.
But I don't know.
It just makes a lot of sense that all of the shots
that killed Kennedy were accidental, too.
Yeah, well, you know, I know who killed JFK
because I saw the end of The Rock.
I was just going to say that.
Yeah.
You think that's what he was looking at?
Nick Cage knows.
You think that's what he was looking at in that microfilm?
Oh, yeah, well, because he says, he's like.
It's the photo of the Secret Service agent.
He's like, what does he say?
He's like, hey, babe, do you want to know who shot JFK?
I like you and Jamie's versions of Nick Cage because hers just sounds like Nixon.
Whenever Jamie pretends to be Nick Cage, it's Nixon.
All right.
Well, I mean, did this op-ed just put everything to bed for you, Jack?
Can you sleep at night?
It just adds to a version of history that makes sense to me.
Yeah.
That things happen by accident, by people who are fucking up at their job, rather than
by evil geniuses who are super good at their job and pulling off these insane, vast conspiracies.
I also like how he was like oh i
can't get a job because of my dishonorable discharge so i'm sure uh being a murderer
right right well you know at that point i think all bets are off he's like you know what fuck
this guy yeah well i still like i still like to think about what it was like for him being up in
that book depository.
He takes two shots at Connelly and he's like, God damn it, I just hit the president.
He's like, shit.
And he's getting ready to go and then looks down and Kennedy's head blows off.
It's like, oh, I didn't do that, though.
I didn't do that.
I didn't do the other part, though.
I didn't do the third one.
Shut the fuck up.
Oswald.
He did spend a lot of time claiming he was a patsy and he was set up.
And I'm sure you would be like, what the fuck?
How long between his arrest and when Jack Ruby shot him?
I think it was like 24 hours.
Oh, it was that quick?
It was quick.
I think it was on a Sunday that he got shot.
So it might have been more than 24 hours.
That's my favorite fucked up historical image,
when people make it look like they're in a rock band.
Yeah, that's great.
Look up Jack Ruby rock band photo.
It's so awesome.
It's so bad.
But so sad.
And not to speculate, but I'm pretty sure this whole story
is going to be the plot of the Snowman 2.
The sequel.
I just picture, instead of like the
hello mister police it's like that page
from the diary
yeah just like a photo
hello mister police
fantastic snowman so good
in case you're hearing
what sounds like a drop
of
gastrointestinal
a drop of Jupiter
gastrointestinal, a drop of Jupiter,
of gastrointestinal distress.
That's just me.
Sorry, everyone. My IBS is not controlled.
It's my UTI.
It's my Latin dancer UTI.
Hacking up.
Finn, he's right next to me.
He's giving me power right now
to get through these stories.
Another thing that can give us power,
another animal that can give us power
to get through dark and depressing times is squirrels, apparently.
Yeah.
Okay, I mean, you know, emotional support animals, I understand.
I get it.
I understand the benefit of an ESA.
But this story is very interesting to me because last week there was a woman who was on a Frontier Airlines flight from Orlando to Cleveland.
Okay, I already know enough. America's two greatest cities. Two greatest cities. week there was a woman who was on a Frontier Airlines flight from Orlando to Cleveland. Okay.
I already know enough.
America's two greatest cities. Two greatest cities.
They are actually.
I love Cleveland.
Love Cleveland.
Love Orlando.
Love Penny Hardaway.
I don't know.
I'm talking like Trump.
But essentially she told the airline, she's like, hey, I'm bringing an emotional support
animal on.
And they're like, okay, fine.
That's fine.
We allow emotional support animals on.
She pulls up to the airport with not a dog or a cat, but a motherfucking squirrel,
an emotional support squirrel.
So when she got on the plane
and they saw it,
they're like,
oh, hold up, hold up,
you can't bring this on.
She's like, why?
Like, oh, we have an actual policy
of like no rodents on this plane.
So I'm sorry,
you may have to find another way
to get your squirrel to your destination.
And she was not having it,
made a huge scene. It was like, well, you have to, have to like i'm not getting off me and this squirrel are going to
cleveland and so they had to clear the plane and the police had to remove uh the woman because i
think i don't know if it was because they were like trying to like it's like hey no one can
shoot a camera phone while we like rough up this squirrel owner or something right anyway uh and
then the flight took off two hours later i just really like this story because i like the idea of a person with their emotional support
squirrel who is so ride or die about their score and they're like i'm sorry we this is my squirrel
and i think a squirrel would be a cool pet if you could get it to like not shit everywhere i had a
friend who found like a young baby squirrel that was like abandoned in his yard. And it was like so in need of food.
And he like nursed it to health.
And like he had it for like four months.
But the thing was wild.
Jump around his house and then just shit on you.
Oh, and it was so it was a terrible pet.
But like he was the little squirrel was very comfortable around humans.
And then I was like, have you taken this to a vet or anything?
Make sure it's not rabbit.
He's like, nah.
I was like, I've got to go,
my man. This is not the
place for me. How does that story end?
He tried to get it onto an airplane?
Yo, the squirrel, no, the squirrel
died. Because
it went outside or something and it was
too cold one night or something. It was a really weird story.
It could have been a cover up. But that
reminds me of yesterday
when we were at lunch,
Anna Hosni was talking about how like a lot of the rich Saudis like to pal around with emotional support falcons on the plane.
And then she showed us that photo of like the dude bought out a flight
and like there were 50 falcons on the plane with their little leather mask on
so they don't wild out.
That's the sort of shit you learn from super producer anna hosnia's
podcast ethnically ambiguous is that uh falcons are the dogs of the middle east like the flex pet
yeah like how many falcons you got right exactly how quickly can it catch a hair right yeah also
falconry is dope we interviewed a falcon falconer back in the day, it cracked. And they talk about their hobby as just being like going hunting, but with a living gun
that you've trained to do the hunting for you.
Yeah, you probably feel like Aquaman or some shit, or Birdman, who has command of the birds.
Who was not a man who was bitten by a radioactive bird.
Aqua.
Bitten by a radioactive aquaa one of the members of the dance
group aqua who did barbie girl yeah it's not bitten by them to turn into aquaman although i
would watch a weird cartoon based on that so wait what are the laws doesn't like with emotional
support animals don't things have to like honor people with animals like that to be able to or no i think
it depends on the state i know like in california right if you like if you have a emotional support
pet and they're like oh we have a no pets policy i think you can argue that like you should be able
to rent the unit i'm not entirely sure i don't know about voter renters rights right but i do
know that falcons need passports right according to a Geneva convention. I think the reason the squirrel part of it seems so weird is because like,
I don't think there's any like pet store where you can buy a squirrel,
right?
Like squirrels.
I'd imagine.
She trapped that thing.
Yeah.
Unless like,
you know,
it's like someone has like a squirrel business at the back of their house
where they've been domesticating them.
Like,
Hey,
you know,
if you want a squirrel,
you go over to Roger's house.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm on deck for like five bucks.
I think they should have a,
has to be purchasable at a standard pet store
to be considered an emotional support animal.
Well, then you could buy a rat at a pet store.
Right, well, that's what I'm saying.
I wouldn't have a problem with a rat
because people have pet rats and like, you know.
But they have a no rodent policy.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, how do they reconcile it to?
I think their policy
needs to be adapted
to just like
trainable animals
yeah be more inclusive
or if you have a wacky pet
be like
can it do tricks
right
and if it can
you're like alright
squirrels not just gonna run wild
and shit
like it clearly understands
basic commands
right
and like I don't want them
to be able to bring
emotional support
snakes on
but on the motherfucking plane that's motherfucking snakes yeah uh all right sorry
snake people i like you guys just fine uh and snake people by the way are not people who have
been bitten by a radioactive snake thank you not according to what i've learned
movies unless you're one of those snake people who goes around busy commercial areas,
like restaurant areas, just to get up,
like charge people for a photo with you and your snake.
Yeah.
Then work on yourself.
All right.
Real quick check in with Bloid Watch.
Bloid Watch.
We wanted to do something a little different
because the covers of the Bloids are just more tired shit tired shit about Kate Hudson had a baby us weekly this week.
Is that us or star star?
Yeah.
Star has a cover with Kate Hudson and it says just married secret behind baby
joy,
the low key ceremony,
all this shit.
And it's two people.
It's apparently it's Kate Hudson,
but Kate Hudson looks to me like she could be
any of the girls from the hills.
That's a compliment to her.
Yeah, no.
Very youthful.
They're very pretty women, but like they, I don't know.
And then her husband is not somebody who's famous,
so they don't even label it.
They're just like, as you know,
this is iconic couple, Kate Hudson and her bearded husband.
It says with hubby Danny.
Who's her husband?
Danny, bro.
The homie Danny.
We wanted to check in on what the teens
who still buy magazines
are up to.
I was really disappointed in the tabloids
this week. So many weird fake
stories. They're acting like they have
Justin Bieber and Hailey
Baldwin's wedding album.
But it's like the most aggressively
propaganda
Photoshop job I've ever seen.
And Justin Bieber looks way too healthy
for that to be him. But we had to pick
up J-14.
Because I think now we need to really start
turning our eyes towards what the youth
are reading. That's like
MS-13, but it's what you graduate to after.
MS-13 to J-14.
Yeah.
And it's just funny, like, is this one, you know, 17 is kind of, you know,
they're a little more woke where they have, like, talking about, like, you know,
accepting your body, like, don't buy into all this other weird body image shit,
how to be happy and things like that.
And then J-14 is just like, school secrets never revealed before.
And then they have one that is-
School secrets?
I don't know.
About your school?
There really is a pool on the third floor.
They have the guy guide in here.
Is that a Shackers reference?
That was just every middle school I went to, there was like a rumor that there was a pool
like somewhere in the building.
Yeah.
That happens in the movie Hackers.
Oh, really?
Oh, they're like, there's a pool on the third floor.
Yeah.
And then he goes up and there's no pool, but he does get caught in the rain.
Wow.
Great moment in cinema.
But this one is just like, this one's interesting because, you know, this is where you're starting
to see how we are socializing children.
They're like, the hottest guys in Hollywood share how boys really think.
Oh, nice.
Oh, I bet it's really progressive.
How do we think?
Oh, yeah.
Five ways to Caden's heart.
I don't know who Caden Conrick is.
You don't know Caden?
Oh, okay.
Catch Caden in the new season of Chicken Girls on YouTube.
So, number one, put down your phone.
If you're into influencer and Chicken Girl star Kaden, avoid doing too much texting.
And this is from him.
When I'm getting to know a new crush, I prefer talking in person because it is always better to talk face to face.
It's hard to get to know someone over the phone.
Wow, that's very mature.
Squad up with his sister.
Okay.
Always stay humble.
Jump into outdoor fun and treat him like a normal person.
Don't treat me like some motherfucking celebrity that's on YouTube.
No, actually, I would like you to treat me like a celebrity, please.
Yeah, I think we decided the hierarchy.
It's movie, TV, YouTube, podcast.
Yes.
And then there was another one that I thought was funny, and maybe we can just do this all together.
This one says, are you falling for your crush too quickly?
Oh.
Now, let's be careful.
I've been worried about this.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, let's just have a hypothetical crush in our minds.
Okay.
And let's say we're J-14 years old.
Okay.
And here we go.
We're going to start.
Okay.
Now, be honest.
Yes.
How long have you known your cutie?
Not that long or basically forever?
Let's live in a hypothetical world.
Okay.
Are we at school?
Is it a new kid?
Let's do that one.
I think everyone can relate to that.
Sure.
Where is school?
It's a new school year.
There's a new kid.
Right.
And everybody's like, ooh, who's the new kid?
Because the new kid is looking like something fly.
Well, I don't want to say a snack because we're adults pretending to be minors right now.
Okay.
Looking like a pack of shark bites.
Okay.
There we go.
Okay.
So let's just say not that long because it's new kid.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, are you the type to get jealous when your friends have BFs but you don't?
When your friends have BFs?
Yeah, when your friends have boyfriends.
Oh, got it. oh well i'm very petty
so yes okay so yes uh so your answer would be two two options are yeah or not me so we're gonna go
yeah okay next caitlin do you know your crush's middle name to be honest i don't or of course
uh yeah of course of course now that leads to only time will tell.
It's unclear how this crush will play out.
You already know you have genuine feelings for your cutie,
but sometimes you're a little confused about what he's looking for.
Check in with your crush to make sure you're on the same page.
If you're not honest with each other about what you want, it could mean heartache.
I mean, that's pretty good advice,
but I don't know how they determine that from whether or not you know their middle name.
Very, very interesting.
Yeah, the only other way to get there was if you started off saying you've known this person forever,
and then it says, like, does your crush know your most embarrassing secret?
And that would bring you to the same conclusion.
Now, this is the advice if it says yes or no.
If it's no, it's not going to too quickly.
It says, nope, so far so good.
You may be falling fast, but your crush is giving you no reason to doubt the connection you two share.
If you both feel happy and confident about what you have, don't feel pressure to follow a certain relationship timeline.
You're allowed to move at your own pace.
Okay, I like that.
And then if you are, if you're some Stan over here, some stalker.
If you're moving too fast.
Moving too fast on the highway.
Snowman.
Sorry to keep bringing up the snowman.
You're a regular snowman.
It says, hold up.
It says, hold up.
Yes, you're no snowman.
Slow down.
New crushes are exciting, but you might be forcing a relationship that isn't ready to happen yet.
Ask yourself what you really want.
You may just be obsessed with the idea of having a BF, not actually ready for one.
Really get to know your crush
before taking things further
or else your fling will end faster than it began.
Now, those words won't mean shit
to a 14-year-old who is in love with somebody
that they just met.
Also, it's assuming that they love you back, right?
It's like, slow down on the relationship.
Oh, right.
It's like very one-sided.
This person might not even know
that you have a crush on them
where is this
one of the questions
would be like
does your crush
know your fucking name
no
okay put this magazine down
and please get your parents
on the phone
right
yeah but I guess
yeah there's all kinds
of really cool
cool stuff
posters
I realize just now
how like old I am
cause there's a whole
new batch of celebrities
and like sophie upstairs uh super producer sophie lichterman she knows a little bit more she's a
little bit younger and like so many of these names i'm like who is sky cats or kelsey ballerini
are these real names kelsey ballerini that sounds like a cool name. I don't know them.
I don't know.
I mean, I know Zendaya.
I know Dove Cameron.
Who's Dove Cameron?
That's a cool name.
James Cameron's Dove.
His Dove.
That's funny because it is a bird here.
So I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
You know, David Pecker, you got to focus on your bloids, man, because you guys are slipping.
And we're getting tired of the same thing over and over.
Yeah.
It's all Ben and Jennifer's divorce.
It's weird.
It says Jen's finally free from Ben Affleck for their divorce, Jennifer Garner.
It says wins $60 million from Ben.
Oh, she won it.
That's an interesting way to describe that.
Yeah.
Like, what do you say?
Hey, she won $60 million, that. Yeah. Like, what do you say? Hey, she won 60 million, man.
Congrats.
Her marriage collapsed
and her husband was struggling
with alcoholism,
but she won 60 million.
And that is Bloid Watch.
All right.
Well, thank you, tabloids.
We've learned a lot here today.
Caitlin, it's been a pleasure
having you.
Thank you so much.
I've had the best time.
Where can people find you?
You can follow me at Caitlinaitlin dronte on twitter and instagram you can follow the bechtel cast at bechtel cast and that is spelled because recently people are like we don't know how to
spell that it's b-e-c-h-d-e Cast. Bechtel. Check that out.
And I've got a few show dates coming up in Boston doing stand-up,
and then the Bechtel Cast is going on a little mini East Coast tour in early November.
Aren't we doing well?
Yeah, we're going to Philly, Washington, D.C., and New York City.
Ever heard of it?
New York City?
Goddamn. Wow.
I just saw a video on Worldstar, by the way, where it was a Nigerian woman.
She was about to marry an old Texan man.
And she's like, I'm going to New York City, blah, blah, blah.
And it's like this gross older dude from Texas.
And he's like, hell yeah.
She's coming to me to Texas.
And she keeps saying New York City.
And he keeps saying Texas.
And then at one point she goes, yep, I'm going to New York City, Texas.
And I'm like, oh, my God, what did this man tell her?
Like, yeah, New York City is in Texas.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Anyway, but I digress.
That's 90 Day Fiance?
No, no, this was WorldStarHipHop.com.
Oh, WorldStarHipHop.
But it felt like the Pace Bacante ad playing out in a very bizarre way
where you were hearing something about Texas and then New York City and he was almost shocked.
Anyway.
Sorry, Finn is coughing up a lung.
He's feeling bad.
He's doing much better, guys.
This person on Worldstar.
Kaylin.
Yeah.
What's a tweet you've been enjoying?
Oh, this is an oldie but a goodie.
Katie Dippold tweeted a couple of years ago,
TBT to Halloween when I dressed up as the Babadooks,
but my friend's house had more of a grown-ups drinking wine vibe.
And then you really have to see this photo accompaniment of this tweet
because that is the real, the funny part of it.
It's like a screen-accurate Babadook costume almost.
Like, it's, like, so intense.
Let me see.
She looks like the Babadook.
You've seen this before.
She's, like, just covered in, like, black makeup
and, like, has, like, the top hat
and is just terrifying looking.
And everyone else is just dressed normal, drinking wine.
She's just sitting by herself in the corner
it's awesome too
because it feels like
people know
like they're embarrassed
for her
and aren't trying to
bring too much attention
to the fact
that she looks like
Helena Bonham Carter
like on a weird day
if you have trouble
finding this tweet
the Bechtel cast
recently retweeted it
so go there
yeah
Miles where can people
find you
find me twitter
instagram
at miles of gray
couple tweets I'm liking
one is from Andrew T
on delay on delay mommy T.I.
at Andrew T.I.
he had a tweet
so he did a screenshot of twitter
had a retweet they did
and someone, a user Summer Ray said
your Halloween costume is sexy plus your biggest fear
and then twitter said sexy edit button.
And then Andrew says, well, we all knew it wasn't going to be sexy.
All the fucking Nazis we let on this site because they would definitely have no problem with that.
And now, and another one from their handle is at PetaCalf.
It says, me, you got to learn to love yourself, friend.
Huh?
Don't you fucking hate yourself?
Me.
Yeah, but this is about you, stay focused.
I love when people give all that advice.
You can follow me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien.
One tweet that I have been enjoying