The Daily Zeitgeist - Got Milk (Lobbyist Talking Points)? MARINATE Your Diet Cokes! 12.15.23
Episode Date: December 15, 2023In episode 1598, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and musician, Ian Lockwood, to discuss… Biden Impeachment Inquiry Is Here…Without Any Proof! This Is What It Sounds Like When Lobbyists Write... All Your Words…, I Need Help Understanding This…MARINATED Diet Coke? And more! Biden Impeachment Inquiry Is Here…Without Any Proof! This Is What It Sounds Like When Lobbyists Write All Your Words… Check Out Ian Lockwood's Music Video for Orbo out now! LISTEN: Accordion by Abstract OrchestraSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I'm Jess Casavetto, executive producer of the hit Netflix documentary series Dancing for the Devil, the 7M TikTok cult.
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hello the internet and welcome to season 317 episode 5 of their daily night guys
day production of iheart radio this is a podcast where we take a deep dive into america and it's friday december 15th 2023 my name is jack o'brien aka giants balls
giants balls these are for sure giant no that's wrong this is supposed to be the silver bells
not jungle bells giants balls giants balls These are for sure Giant's balls.
And his dick.
And his dick.
And his dick.
Don't forget about his dog.
That is courtesy of EC Gearful.
1229 on the Discord.
Shout out to you.
Shout out to the British physician who thought a dinosaur's femur
was a giant's hard testicles we have i'm thrilled to be joined at i will keep talking about as long
as you keep writing the aka i'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co-host mr miles gray
oh before i begin my aka i would be remiss of me to not actually tell you what December 15th is.
Okay, so let me just run that back.
Look, Jack's got the holiday jacket on.
I got my holiday, my boiled wool holiday.
Learned a new fabric, boiled wool.
I'm wearing a boiled cotton t-shirt, which is just something I washed on hot in my washing machine.
But it's also International Tea Day, but the herbal kind, not the tea.
National Wear Your Pearls Day.
National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.
National Cupcake Day.
National Underdog Day.
Cat Herders Day.
Hey, don't I got rights?
No, but it is Bill of Rights Day.
So there is all that.
And anyway, who am i i am miles gray
aka give me gravy give give me gravy call my dinner play with gravy baby uh shout out to
first blood 522 on that one crazy town but gravy town with it gravy town baby also one of my
favorite bass lines ever dude it's so that shit's timeless dude with the harmonics that's one of my favorite bass lines ever dude it's so that shit's time wow like that's
one of those songs that first two seconds i know what it is oh yeah oh yeah it's time to
take a little trip time to board the train where are we going crazy crazy ow
ow miles we're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by a hilarious and talented
comedian and performer uh he's a staple of the brooklyn underground comedy scene his song videos
like orbo and your dad never go in the direction that i expect and always make me laugh my ass off
please welcome to the show i Ian Laqua! Ian!
Hello, hello, hello.
Thank you guys for having me.
It's boys time.
It's boys time.
Also, aka Valley Boys time.
Valley Boys time.
You're also 818.
And it's nice to have, you know,
fellow San Fernando Valley folks on here,
even though you are coming to us from Brooklyn.
But hey.
Yes, but I still have that 818 area code.
I will never give it away.
And that is because my dad is paying for my cell phone
bill. I would hurt that.
Hell yeah.
Valley pride and...
On the family plan.
On the family plan. You feel me?
I ain't never letting go.
That's kind of what I did. My partner, Her Majesty,
her mom was paying her phone
bill until we got engaged and
then i was like i will take over for the phone now she will be on my family plan and it was like
it felt very weird to go along with it when you have her hands you're like and i will and they're
like equivalent of a dowry and you have a compatible phone plan for her to be on as well
that's one thing before I
let you take my daughter's hand. That's their first
question. Do you have a comparable
phone plan with good coverage?
I'm sorry, you're on
Sprint?
Wait, they still have
Nextel phones?
Alright. Ian, we're going to get
to know you a little bit better in a moment.
First, we're going to tell our listeners a couple of things we may be talking about today.
We don't always get to all of them.
No, but we're going to talk about the Biden impeachment inquiry is here.
And it's not like your grandpa's impeachment inquiry.
This one got no proof.
Yeah, it's based on nothing.
So we'll talk about that. We'll talk about we got a little clue into what it sounds like when a lobbyist just write all your word for you. And then we'll talk about marinated Diet Coke. This is a little simpler than it sounds.
than it sounds.
It's simpler than it sounds,
but it's,
I'm,
I'm really at that age where I don't know if I'm being a curmudgeon and I'm like,
this is bullshit.
Like what's wrong with the kids?
Or if it's like two people doing it,
but after doing some research,
it's a thing,
it's a thing.
And we must discuss it.
And what,
what is happening?
I love a crisp DC personally.
I am Ian.
Are you a,
Oh,
Ian, your eyes rolled Ian. Are you a, Oh, Ian,
your eyes rolled back.
You were like transcending.
Honestly,
normal Coke,
get it out of here.
I don't need it.
No,
it's too,
I don't know.
Then y'all are going to fucking love this development because this is,
this shit is like purpose designed for the,
the vibey diet Coke drinker.
And I feel like I have two right here.
I was so anti-Diet Coke when I was younger.
I was like, this tastes like metal.
Tastes like I'm drinking a machine.
Drinking a machine.
And then it's now probably my favorite drink.
And I think like a true marvel of modern technology.
One of the things that america
should be most proud of it's it just had rough branding for me because i was associated with
my stressed out elementary school teachers yeah yeah like that was always on their desk was yeah
they smelled like fucking capris and they had fucking like a bunch of diet coke cans on their
desk and i and to me i was like i don't know if i want that life but yeah uh go ahead turns out you do yeah because uh the crispiness i gotta
marinate i gotta marinate this has made me realize in real time i think drinking a lot of diet coke
as a kid might have made me gay that's right so you just have to find front of congress yeah my
mom had a ton and i just remember I was a normal kid.
Then I started drinking all of her Diet Coke, and I'd be like, girl, how was book club?
Jack says you fucking took a cack out.
Yo, I almost had a spit.
You can't spit them out.
Girl.
Damn.
My life could have taken a different turn if I hadn't had that anti-Diet Coke diet.
Jack, what's your experience?
Oh, wait.
Well, you didn't get it early enough.
I didn't get it early.
No, my older sister was drinking it and I was like, sometimes our drinks would get mixed up and I would be like, I would do a literal spit take.
I was very dramatic about it.
I was like, this is terrible.
What are you trying to kill me?
terrible what are you trying to kill me and i also like because there were people in my family be like i don't know can you taste this and tell me if it's diet coke or regular coke
and i took great pride in being a super taster of that particularly i could always tell the
difference you can feel that aspartame running through your brain yeah yeah and to this day i'm very like i there are restaurants where
i'm like oh they have bad diet coke you know and then like restaurants where the diet coke
is good and it's usually like the fancier the restaurant the worse the diet coke unless they
give it to you in the little bottle like a lot of times if they're giving it to you from the bar
it's going to be kind of watered down and in a tiny glass. Okay. Let's save it for the segment. You go to Olive Garden.
If you look at this slideshow behind me. Look at where the red strings go and you'll see that it
forms a very clear pattern here. Yeah. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk about some movies
coming out in 2024, all of that, plenty more. But first, Ian, we do like to ask our guest,
what is something from your search history?
Okay, I'm looking right now.
The most recent thing I searched is Sonic the Hedgehog Hentai.
Yes.
No, no.
Wait, never mind.
Not that.
No, actually, the most interesting thing I found in my search history
in the last day or two was, this is how I phrased it, safe way to do live pyrotechnics, amateur.
Wait, so in your mind, what's the pyro display that you're thinking?
We're talking about explosions, flamethrowers?
Vertical flamethrower.
I do comedy music and I do a lot of my own music
production but I have people help me on that amazing talented producers I also do a lot of
production of like my live shows and I just like adding I have confetti cannons sometimes I want
to get fans in there I flew exposed me for growing up in the 2000s but i flew to chicago to see fallout boy perform in their hometown at
wrigley field oh hell yeah wow and pete wentz had a flamethrower on his source yeah yeah exactly
you gotta get that right in my veins yeah and i was in love with patrick stump growing up and he
was when he was telling stories i was like i want this man i want to pay this man to hit me but
anyway but anyway p went out of flame
on his base and i was like that's so stupid and i need it right now yeah wait like coming out of
the like tip of the neck of the guitar basically or the head it was attached to the very head of
the guitar just shooting flames whatever god was it for like a power chord kind of like was it or
just like randomly while you play it was already phallic guitar and he's a very phallic guy but it was just a pretty random the flames just randomly
came out whenever it was so funny and it was just random it wasn't like he hits the peak of the
solo and then like honestly no because what solo are you really doing at a base it would just sort
of at different intervals be like, okay, fire.
And he'd look at it and he'd go, yeah, and he'd stick his tongue out.
He actually didn't know that was going to happen.
It was their first show, so I doubt he really knew when it was going to happen.
Right, right.
Oh, man.
Shout out to the Jamaican biracial, the homie, Pete Wentz, too.
You know what I mean?
He's holding it down.
Yeah.
That's why it was hard for him.
I don't know what his hair looked like, if it was wavy or something.
But when he was doing it all flat, I was like, oh, you let the real texture come through, Pete.
I have bad news.
It did look absolutely insane.
It was like straightened down to his hips and the lower half of it was yellow and the upper half was black.
Oh, no.
Pete, Pete. He'll figure it out he's doing good yeah what is something you think is overrated okay hear me out on this one eating
eating is overrated i'm tired of it i have to do it all the time i have to do it like three times
a day i'm starting to get bored i get i'm starting to lose weight because I'm like, I don't care about eating. Give me the pill. You know, where's the future pill? That's like,
you don't have to eat anymore. This is the pill. It is. And I don't like anyone telling me what to
do even God. So don't let me don't make me eat twice three times a day. I'm not into it.
Right? Is it just what you just wanted to get you want it done efficiently? You're like,
you don't have time. You're just trying to you got your mind in other places you're not someone who thinks about
food all the time like me that could because of weed but i don't know well sometimes i mean when
i spoke weed yeah i of course i want to eat something delicious or like for dinner i'm like
yeah i hit it for like a lunch i'm like i don't want to stop what i'm doing to eat to have a
sandwich yeah so there's like stuff that happens with like energy when i eat a lunch i'm
just like i'm not allowed to take it like spain has it right like there needs to be a nap after
that mother oh yeah yeah you know yeah or yeah i just i totally don't take a nap after every
single lunch i ever eat yeah that's a wild idea um this did did you ever, did you, you said,
did you ever try Soylent when everybody was getting super into Soylent?
Yes,
absolutely.
Oh,
so you really are about that.
You're like,
I don't have fucking time right now.
Yes,
but I got tired of it.
Yeah.
Right in the veins.
Yeah.
I want the pill.
Give me the pill.
Right.
I mean,
they've been promising it for a while and here we are coming to the end of
2023 and still nothing, still nothing. I mean, they've been promising it for a while. And here we are coming to the end of 2023 and still nothing.
Still nothing.
I mean, I'm sure there are like soylent, I guess, was an attempt at that.
But it's still, you know, you got to gulp that shit down.
You still got to gulp that whole fucking thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And does it fit?
Does it keep you full?
Like, do you feel full after you have some soylent?
I feel like I'm ready for my next my next meal
I mean they pack a lot of shit into
that little bottle I remember like
at the height of it when I was like making
videos and shit for magazines like we bought
like cases just to do like content with
it and we were drinking some leftovers and I
was like damn I'm like I don't like the taste
but I'm pretty sure it's delivering on its
promise that you don't want to eat after this
so I mean power hours yeah exactly but I'm pretty sure it's delivering on its promise that you don't want to eat after this.
Soil power hours.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Doing a bunch of shots.
It's just Slim Fast for boys.
Right.
Yeah.
Which is like, I'm like, is this disordered eating?
Like, is this this can't be good, right?
For but I don't know. It's fine.
Slim Fast for tech bros.
Yeah.
I was working in tech when I got really into drinking Soylent.
So I was absolutely a walking stereotype.
Oh, so yeah.
This is exactly.
I mean, then that was like the perception too.
It was because everyone was like, dude, out up here in the valley, the Silicon one, not
San Fernando.
You don't have fucking time.
We're fucking too busy doing acid and drinking Soylent coming up with the next app.
That'll just destroy a bunch of industries.
That's right.
Let's just make your life unlivable.
What is something you think is underrated?
Okay.
You guys got to bear with me on this one.
Underrated?
Taylor Swift.
Hear me out.
Okay, go on.
Now, what is it about Taylor Swift?
I've been wondering.
Okay.
Yes, she is so overexposed.
We're hearing news about her every single day. She's a billion-dollar business. She has been wondering. Okay. Yes. She is so overexposed. We're hearing news about her
every single day. She's a billion dollar business. She has like a million products. She's always
selling something. But the way I still see like half of people would be like, Oh, I don't like
her. Oh, no. She's like, I don't like her music. Get her off my TV screen. The thing that I love
is we now have like another, like a princess Diana,
a Michael Jackson.
We have a single person to focus our whole culture on,
which is so unifying and fun.
And I think I don't want people to like her.
I don't care if they like her.
I want them to accept that it is her world.
She is our leader.
We're the Taylorverse.
Yes.
When the aliens come down, why would I send Joe Biden a test?
Send Taylor Swift.
You know what?
If the aliens are smart, they might just pull up straight to Taylor Swift's place in Manhattan.
Oh, she's got the aliens.
I remember early on, we were like, is she?
She just has has she looks alien
a jace can you run a full marathon while singing songs i know okay or are you is that some kind of
alien technology i feel like she would be if i had to guess who has access to the alien technology
a la independence day it would probably be her right like that's who first of
all they would want to give it to because they're like you're like i think what do they call the
really tall slander like pale aliens gray thing made the grays the no the grays are the short
little ones with the big eyes oh then the nordic Nordic, the Nordic, the Nordic aliens.
I feel like they might be like,
yeah.
Or they might be like,
you're one.
You're not one.
Okay.
She's like,
Oh,
you're just really rich.
She's they freak her the fuck out.
I'm not with the fuck.
I'm a person.
Yeah.
No,
no,
you're one of us.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We've talked about this before quite a bit on the show as a show that like tries to take a look at the national shared consciousness and the zeitgeist.
Taylor Swift may have come up a time or two.
And the question that I feel like we come up against is, is she like so time person of the year has never been a entertainer.
Really?
It's been Bono made it for his
humanitarian work yeah with and i am making the jerk off hand gesture yeah as i say that but
she's the first one who's just like she was so popping this year yes exactly so is this one of the theories that we like to talk about is that as humans in this modern world have lost access to religion, like our Beyonce's and Taylor's Swift have come in to replace those foundational spiritual myths.
spiritual myths.
Do we think that she is on par with
Michael Jackson and Princess Diana?
Or is she even
above that at this point?
She's not quite there.
I still contend she's not quite there.
Not quite MJ level.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're going to need
to pull up to
Sub-Saharan Africa, show the picture and they all gotta be like
like if they're not doing that then it's not quite you're not hitting globally but
i because like everywhere else you know like europe uh fucking north america and
south america even i that's definitely i mean she could be on
her way for sure i think at this moment it's it's not quite there but i think more interestingly
we were talking about an episode i hate to show our hand for a future episode that's coming up
you know we're actually asking is she the antichrist
in like and not in like a get away but the know, the influence that she has and the fear that she strikes in the hearts of conservatives and religious figures.
I'm like that.
See, there might be something there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And people love people are always looking for labels for themselves so that they can feel like they have a spot.
That's what religion does.
That's what being a Swifty is.
Yeah, she could.
She could use those.
I mean, not that I'm not a Swifty.
She could kill all of us if
she wanted she could just be like swifties attack honestly i have a feeling she could manage to do
like irl damage in physical space more than like trump could with maybe mega people if she really
wanted to start turning the dial up you know so it's you know with just world war z level
the dial-up you know so it's you know with just world war z level waves of humans just running like i feel like could scale like a wall you know but they're all like 17 year old girls yeah
which i mean don't never underestimate a 17 year old girl no yeah i i like this argument i think i
think it is counterintuitive but i do do think that people are sleeping on Taylor Swift.
I just want people to stop resisting.
Stop resisting.
It's beautiful.
Go with it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Just fucking become one with the Borg that is Taylor.
Yeah.
You'll be happier.
Do we just see this continuing?
Like, on some level, I've heard people that, like, she can't get much bigger and america loves to
see someone torn down right on the other i think saying it can't get she can't get any bigger is a
little like saying like well it's not like it can get any worse politically it's like well you just
lack the imagination yeah hold all these beers please yes. Yes. So I do think she could get any bigger. But I think as she gets bigger from here, we do start to enter unprecedented territory.
Because she's been re-recording those albums and just putting them out in the middle.
So she's been in the news every day for over a year now. And usually with, you know, Olivia Rodrigo just put out her new album.
And that was huge, too.
But we didn't hear from her for a couple of months before that.
We got a breather.
So I have no idea what it's going to look like.
You know, is it going to explode and everyone's going to hate her all of a sudden?
Do you think like that sort of like American misogynistic pattern is going to hate her all of a sudden. Do you think that sort of American misogynistic pattern
is going to come for her?
Because like you say, Jack,
anytime anyone gets big,
there is a teardown phase with entertainers,
no matter what.
And I'm curious,
because I know even in reading interviews
how she said she was much more affected by things
that people said when she was younger,
but she's older and now it doesn't nearly affect her.
So maybe she's like, I've reached my final form.
You can fucking try, motherfuckers.
But I'm Adamantium.
Collecting Infinity Stones and Horcruxes.
Horcruxes, yep.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, I feel like, I think Oprah, like, left the planet a long time ago.
But it's still very consistently Oprah. You know like there's nothing that changed i feel like i
could see taylor swift just evolving in that direction of like no longer on this planet
because i think the thing that often happens first of all people want to see a giant giant
celebrity taken down just because for the same reason they watch like buildings being detonated but i i think that also just it
is such a strange like level of fame and like psychological experiment that it's hard to
maintain one's like coherent gravitational equilibrium of reality at that level and then
so it you know if the whole world is rooting for you to
fail spectacularly kind of even if they don't admit that and also you are in a bizarre psychological
experiment where like nobody has told you the truth in 20 years you know like everybody around you is just like whoa yeah killing valentine that it
it's almost an impossibility that you maintain anything resembling normalcy but the kind of
how you get weird can go in a direction that just keeps making you more and more famous
right like so and she's so weird by the way, Taylor, I saw the, the concert,
the way she like pauses for applause after every three words is so funny.
And I,
I love how crazy she is.
And,
but like also,
yeah,
that's a good example of she is every single gesture and micro gesture and
micro expression is perfect
like that's how she's gotten
weird that's how she's become in
human well that's like that's Michael Jackson
dialing it in tighter and
tighter into exactly
what people want from her
right yeah
so I feel like that's got to be the
point at which fame actually is purely worse than it is good when
nobody's being honest with you anymore oh yeah oh yeah that's gonna be it the thing that like you
really don't want to see is when they like build their own universe that has its own name like
graceland and neverland and right right right i right. I think Eddie Murphy had that for a little while.
And then he came out Jamaican.
Right.
That reggae album.
And we were like, what the fuck, Eddie?
Yeah, yeah.
Prince had it.
And Prince maintained his Prince-ness up until the end.
And he got weird, too.
You know?
You got to get weird.
I think that's the thing.
It's like, we got to get weird.
Oh, yeah.
But he was weird. He was known for being being weird that was kind of his whole thing and he's just like
kind of honed it and honed it more and more she is famous for being like very broad and miss americana
but she is seems able to hone that more and more and more somehow right yeah yeah yeah we seem to find out
that she has like a like a secret dunkin donuts in her garage or some weird shit like that you know
like bring on the like dunkin donuts more i feel like i know right that's what i'm saying i don't
that's why i need to see the weird taylor phase like get weird taylor and take everybody with
you please to the weird lane i just like want to see what her media diet like what her just like intake is like like is she reading barbara streisand's
memoir or is she reading books about napoleon right now right you know like what is what what
does she think is next for her right she's like's like, I'm reading a lot of bell hooks, actually.
Yeah, I'll be done.
Damn, nice, Taylor.
All right, Taylor.
All right, let's take a quick break, and we'll be right back. and now is the time to get ready to dominate your leagues. The best way to crush your opponents this season
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In 1982, Atari players had one thing on their minds,
Sword Quest.
This wasn't just a new game.
Atari promised 150 grand in prizes to four finalists, but the prizes disappeared.
And what started as a video game promotion became one of the most controversial moments
in 80s pop culture. I just don't believe they exist. My reaction, shock and awe.
That sword was amazing. It was so beautiful. I'm Jamie Loftus. Join me this spring for The Legend of Sword Quest,
a podcast about the fall of Atari and the disappearing Sword Quest prizes.
We'll follow the quest for lost treasure across four decades.
It's almost like a metaphor for the industry and Atari itself in a way.
Listen to The Legend of Sword Quest on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi.
On my podcast, Table for Two, we have unforgettable lunch after unforgettable lunch with the best guest you could possibly ask for.
People like Matt Bomer.
Thank you for that introduction.
I'm going to slip you a couple of 20s under the table for that.
Emma Roberts. When it came into my email inbox, I was like, okay, I know I'm going to love this a couple of 20s under the table. Emma Roberts. When it came into my
email inbox, I was like, okay, I know I'm going to
love this so much that I don't even want to read it
because if I can't be in it, I'm going to be bummed.
And Colin Jost. You know,
your wife was the first
guest on Table for Two.
It's come full circle. As long as I do better than her,
I'm happy. Table for Two
is a bit different from other interview shows.
We sit down at a great restaurant for a meal,
maybe a glass of Rose and the story start flowing.
Our second season is airing right now.
So you can catch up on our conversations that are intimate,
surprising,
and often hilarious.
Listen to table for two with Bruce Bozzi on the I heart radio app,
Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back.
We're back.
We're back.
And the president's in hot water, back in hot water.
We got another impeachment coming. And this one is unique because there's no reason for it.
Yeah.
I mean, as much as I like to criticize Joe Biden, my God, the Republicans, they're really, they're fucking trying anything.
And by anything meaning nothing, because they have been shrieking about impeaching Brandon ever since they got a majority in the House.
And since then
they've pretty much done fuck all to prove a single thing like one one of the last things
or one of the last times we even discussed the potential of an impeachment we heard like gop
congressman saying like we'll see like we need to open the impeachment inquiry to find the evidence
and they're like but you have no evidence to even to suggest that you need to open an inquiry and
they're like well i'm not because we haven't opened it yet because we haven't opened it kind
of a catch-23 they're like uh you mean catch-22 they're like no catch-23 but anyway so they're
trying to find evidence of wrongdoing they're trying to find the evidence and so the plan was
always to go on a snipe hunt, just to give a Boy Scouts reference
there, and hope that they can conjure up something that resembles an impeachable offense. And so
anyway, on Wednesday, all the Republicans voted to open an impeachment inquiry, and they still
have no evidence. They only have the art of projection. And to kick off the PR tour for this horse shit, the three horsemen of horse shit, Jim Comer, Jim Jordan and Jason Smith, went on Sean Hannity show and couldn't even give an answer that resembled a legal argument.
And this is with Sean Hannity trying to, like, set this up to be like, and you got the goods.
Tell us all about it.
Here's them on Hannity.
Exit question for all of you.
Congressman Smith, I'll start with you.
Is this now an investigation about Joe Biden being involved in what would be a bribery scandal, a money laundering scandal and an influence peddling scandal?
Which one? This has always, Sean, been an investigation in regards to Joe Biden.
The IRS whistleblowersowers when they came forward
they highlighted how the justice is it about those three issues that's what i'm asking right
influence it could be a multitude of numerous items and we're just continuing to follow the
facts oh my god bro Just getting caught like they're constantly getting like just gotcha by the biggest softballs.
He's just fucking toss underhand tossing meatballs up.
And they're just like, well, can't can't quite say that one.
Because it's in regards to Joe Byron.
I just gave you three options that would have sounded like a legal argument.
He said, it's like all this stuff, like IRS whistleblowers, bro.
So all we got was this like horseshit word salad after that.
Yes, Joe Biden, correct, Sean.
Also, I know this isn't a visual medium,
but they were showing the most handsome old pictures of Joe Biden next to the video the entire time.
It was like, oh, we hate this guy.
And they're showing the best.
I hope they do that to me when they do a takedown piece.
Right.
Only use your good headshots like your approval almost.
It felt like.
But yeah, the ones where he's eating an ice cream cone
while riding a Harley.
Yeah, exactly.
For the listeners,
they were showing pictures of him at like 40.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He got holding two AR-15s
and wrapped in an American flag.
And they're like,
ah, this Joe Byron guy.
So which one is it?
Is it one?
I just love that he,
Hannity even tried to be like,
no, right, right, right, right. It's in regards to him. But which one is it? Is it one? I just love that he, Hannity even tried to be like, no, right, right, right, right.
It's in regards to him.
But which one of these three things that actually sounds like an impeachable offense is it?
And don't just say.
We're trying to help you.
Yeah.
Hey, all right.
Forget it.
Dipshit.
Thanks.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
I guess that's so inquiry.
Here we go.
Wow.
Because yeah, on Fox and Friends, like Doocy hates the impeachment inquiry.
And it's funny because Jim Comer has been crying about it.
Like, he's been going on Newsmax, and he's like, I just don't understand, like, why Doocy on Fox & Friends, he always tries to just throw cold water on what I'm trying to say.
Why is he so mean to me?
I just don't understand, man.
And CNN, it's like, it's just all bad.
That's why I like to come to Newsmax.
I'm done with Fox.
It's like, because they're, because they, even they know, they're're like bro like it only it helps if there's some kind of actual evidence you
can't just do this thing but here we are again just to note they only have fantasies in their
heads okay with little sugar plums dancing through their heads they're so creative i know they
couldn't even say it that all they can come was with was in regards to Joe Biden. It is correct that you say as such in regards to Joe Biden.
The meaning of dark brain.
How dark has he gone?
And that's the real question we were going to ask.
We also just like to check in with what the lobbyists are up to.
Sometimes you can just hear them writing for politicians, like hear the writing just come forth transparently.
Where's the teleprompter on this one?
And a lobbyist handing them a bunch of papers.
Just fucking start with page one.
Go to the bullet points.
Okay, okay, okay.
So I support this bill because fossil fuels will heal the earth.
Fuck, this is bad copy, guys.
So this thing has happened recently in the House because with all the real issues that are happening on planet Earth and even on our own country,
they decided to go all in on an old Michelle Obama thing that she did to the dairy industry back in 2012,
that the industry just cannot get over.
And that was banning 2% in whole milk from school lunches over health concerns.
And she was all like, let's try and get healthier school lunches for the kids.
How about that?
And right now, the USDA is considering even banning flavored milks
because they're like, yeah, these are kind of like loaded with added sugars that milk already is
incredibly full of sugar is something I realized like having kids.
I'm like,
wait,
why the fuck is there like 17 grams of sugar in this glass of milk?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
So what is an imperiled industry to do?
You get your lobbyists to write really fucking bad talking points that will not
resonate with a single rational human being. And you give that to one of your bot representatives
in Congress. This week's lucky winner of read from the lobbyist written teleprompter is Virginia Fox
of North Carolina. She took the mic as a bill to bring back the milks was being debated and offered these honestly just bona fide, scientifically ironclad arguments as to why the rules need to change over bringing the milks back.
And I will let her say it in the lobbyist. I'm sorry, in her own words.
it in the lobbyist i'm sorry in her own words the nutrients in whole milk like protein calcium and vitamin d provide the fuel santa needs to travel the whole globe in one night whole milk is the
unsung hero of his christmas journey protein helps build and repair s. Placing heavy sacks of gifts up and down
the chimney is no...
There's a young person behind her that is
doing the jerk off the end of the show.
Doing her best to keep a straight face.
It is calcium that keeps Santa strong and
sturdy as he dashes from
rooftop to rooftop.
And vitamin D is essential
to a strong immune system.
Santa absolutely needs one as he braves the cold, wintry night.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, you hear that, Obama?
I mean, they're trying to be cute, but...
Santa is fucked if he doesn't get that whole milk.
Yeah, this just feels like it's like a rejected copy
for the latest Got Milk campaign or something.
Yeah.
Also, by that logic, it sounds like, honestly,
if Santa needs this help, I got to be like, okay, plain chicken breast, brown rice.
Yes.
Right, right.
He doesn't need fat.
If that doesn't convince a room full of very unserious Congress people, I don't know what will, to be honest.
But then part of me, I was thinking, I'm like, am I being cruel to Virginia Fox?
Or is she just doing like this old school teacher like logic?
But she the shit she says, like, is always fucking stupid.
So I'm like, no, this feels the way she was like on par with.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because other things like when she was like in like labor hearings, she was like, the problem with Americans is they don't like to work.
Yeah, they're lazy.
And I'm like, OK, that that feels like very conservative brain but this i think it was just sort of like the labored reading from the
paper that made it feel very like you got them with this shit because there's already a war on
christmas so i don't have a war on santa too american labor needs to take a page from santa's
book and he does it all himself. Yeah, exactly. Pulls himself
by his sack straps.
Now, she's an older
woman who is apparently
an expert on Santa. Have we ever seen her
and Mrs. Claus in the same room? Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Actually, she's got that look. She's not in the same room because
it's going to turn into a real Housewives brawl.
Exactly.
Mrs. Claus was like was like oh so you
brought your side piece through okay okay virginia i know so much about santa okay oh you know about
how how he likes to drink milk huh okay all right okay let me take my earrings off for i fuck up
this lady from north carolina real quick yeah something with ho ho hoes i'm thinking about it
yeah that's oh yeah santa you You think Santa's not out here.
Come on.
Yeah.
I wish.
Let me tell you, man.
He wasn't delivering gifts to me, so you know he's just fucking.
That's right.
I have no evidence of him dropping gifts off.
So, Mrs. Claus, you need to be worried about where the fuck he's at on Christmas.
That's true.
Could you imagine?
That's a really good point.
Yeah.
He's building up to one night a year to go have sex with Virginia Fox.
Yeah.
He's like, oh boy, I've been a good boy.
Talking cool to take my sleigh to North Carolina.
Daddy's been a good boy.
I'm jealous.
This is a rich older man who loves giving gifts.
This sounds perfect for me.
I know.
Right.
Take me away in your sleigh.
Yeah.
He has real estate and a company.
Come on.
Yeah. He owns his own home
yeah okay i'm writing a letter this year yeah and you could probably wait him out he might not be
living that long anyway you could do like an anna nicole type thing you know what i mean
following somewhere the whole north pole wait i love the idea that he's been going for centuries
but like now it's like he's on his way out because he hasn't met you yeah that's what it is
ian you will unlock the health the health problems that we've seen before and i'll do it again and i
changed my name many times yeah but just the dairy industry so that there there's a study that the
only time that like heart disease has like significantly dropped in U.S.
history was when milk was rationed during World War II. And then I think it started going down
again, like once people found out about skim milk and stuff like that. But for the most part,
part it's well that's bad for you yeah the milk fat is bad for you but u.s dairy industry is incredibly powerful it's like yeah the oil lobby they get the fucking government to buy their
leftover cheese all the time they're like well you gotta someone's gotta buy this they're like
fine we'll put it in a fucking strategic reserve they want skim milk we got to do something with this large can you sell it to domino's pizza for buy it from us reagan please it makes you realize that
everything's kind of a little bit fucked because they got us all were you guys milk drinkers
growing up my parents would make me every dinner i'd have a glass of milk and then you learn that
like no it's not good for you you vegetables are good for you
milk is bad for you it's sugary and and then you realize you look into why and you're like oh
because of lobbying and then that was kind of my way into being like oh everything is lobbying i
see it is an easy way to get them to eat i have a five and a seven-year-old, and it's hard to get kids to eat protein.
And so milk is the one way to do it, and it's because it's loaded with sugar and bad for them.
That's easy.
Fair.
Also, every once in a while, I'll drink a glass of milk just to be like, you want to do something fucked up today?
I'm feeling nasty well
because like our our whole milk right is like three and a half percent i think out here and
like i thought it was three or maybe three yeah yeah yeah and then skim is two or whatever the
other one's two percent but i would like in japan right like i'm about to go to japan and the milk
in japan is so like you can buy it like over four percent really oh my god
it's just like heavy whipping i know but guess what i'm fucking sick jack i'll fucking pound
that shit i remember as a kid right going to japan like my grandmother would always buy like
fatter like fattier milk because she know i would just pound it all the time my mom was like
and i was never when i came back to the u. My mom was like, and I was, I've never, when I came back to the U S I'm like,
what the fuck?
The milk tastes like shit over here.
My mom's like,
yeah,
cause it's not fucking just piled up with all the fat in it.
Like it is over there.
Like they don't have the government just cuts people off at a certain
point.
And I'm like,
Oh,
that's that's horseshit.
Eating a bowl of like sweetened cereal,
like honey nut Cheerios or,
you know,
what one of those classic staples of
the cereal aisle with
whole milk I know
some people it's not it's not for some
people but for me that is like
a revelation of
like what oh this is
what cereal is supposed
to be it's so
fucking you want to you want to
ascend to Christ consciousness yeah half
and half oh my god jesus christ that's how you get to christ levels of consciousness i will just say
that and maybe i was seeing christ because i was having a mild cardiac event or something like that
but it is fucking crazy yeah i did it when i like ran out of milk and all i had was creamer for
coffee and i was like well i gotta eat this gran milk and all i had was creamer for coffee and i was
like well i gotta eat this granola and i was just like at the end i was like oh this milk is fucking
wild yeah it's so good it's crazy it really feels like you're eating ice cream i mean that's yeah
well i eat it for dessert i i could never eat that at practice anymore it's too sweet but i
will fully high midnight i'll be like fruit loops baby let's yeah oh fruit loops with some yeah some thick milk i feel like we've not done i feel like we've done
what virginia fox wanted to do with this segment we've been like this is how it's done bitch yeah
you want to see something fucking wild have some half and half with your fucking honey nuts
honey nut cheerios that's right all right let's a quick break, and we'll come back and keep talking about food that's terrible for you.
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on their minds, Sword Quest. This wasn't just a new game. Atari promised 150 grand in prizes to
four finalists, But the prizes disappeared.
And what started as a video game promotion
became one of the most controversial moments in 80s pop culture.
I just don't believe they exist.
My reaction, shock and awe.
That sword was amazing. It was so beautiful.
I'm Jamie Loftus.
Join me this spring for The Legend of Sword Quest,
a podcast about the fall of Atari
and the disappearing Sword Quest prizes. We'll follow the quest for lost treasure across four
decades. It's almost like a metaphor for the industry and Atari itself in a way. Listen to
The Legend of Sword Quest on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's not. It's not that way at all. They're very accepting. Jeff Goldblum. Are you saying secret fries? Secret fries.
What?
That's what you're saying?
Yeah.
And Kristen Wiig.
I just became so aware that I'm such a loud chewer.
My husband's just like, sometimes I'll be eating and he'll just be looking at me.
I'm like, I'm just eating. Like, I don't know how else to chew.
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and we're back we're back and we talked about how diet coke i didn't realize this was like a
tiktok like so many tiktok trends are just like thing that i've been doing or like that i've known that everybody's been doing
for a long time but so diet cokes like taking a little dc break is uh has gone viral on tiktok
and there's one part of the trend where they're talking about marinating diet coke let me just
yeah let me let me play this clip for you where I was caught a little bit off guard
by what I was hearing.
And it turns out this is very normal,
but here's a bit of TikTokery about Diet Coke.
Now for the mixology.
We are using all of the principles
that I've used in past Diet Coke break recipes
to make the ultimate Diet Coke right here.
So we have a frozen glass.
We have a super cold Diet Coke
that's been marinating for days.
We have our Diet Coke ice cup.
Okay, that was the part I said, what?
The marinating.
Marinating for days.
I said, what the fuck is a Diet Coke marinating for days?
What does that mean?
I will let them speak in their own words
as to the science behind a marinated diet coke that was over a week
long i don't you guys understand what this means for me i've had a diet coke marinating in the
fridge for 10 days 10 days and she's about to make like limes and diet coke and pebble ice if you
haven't seen a house christ diet coke break video before i center myself on the values principles
and belief that the best diet cokes are those that come in a can that have been marinating in
the fridge for over at least three days three days is preferred five days is really good over
a week is phenomenal in two weeks plus we're talking a really crispy diet coke i respect it. I respect it. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
This is every molecule is like getting aligned.
I just love these sort of like Gen Z driven trends, too, because it truly is like vibes over science.
Like, I'm pretty sure like once it like there is no real bona fide scientific research that would back up these claims.
But it reminds me of when you start smoking weed and you just love it.
So everything becomes about how to make the experience that much better, even if it has nothing to do with what's real or scientific.
You're like, yo, dude, you've got to cough out the hit.
And then if you cough harder, you're going to get even higher.
Is that not true?
I always thought that was true.
No.
That was true for me.
No?
Well, it's probably just because the lung expansion that occurred because of the smoke made you cough and you got higher.
I mean, there's nothing to suggest like that's going to affect how much THC is entering your system.
But anyway, but it does follow that thing where you're like, bro, I will fucking take anything to get this shit to the next level.
And that's what i definitely see here and then when i asked around i was like okay i super producer becca she's like
bro dc dc culture is huge especially like we're in the south like she's like in texas there's
fucking it's diet coke everywhere all things diet cokes and i was like damn so i looked at some of
the other trends are like other videos like around
this hashtag there are like it's full on and they're like now people are debating if diet
pepsi actually gets crispier than diet coke no it does not well you gotta there's a whole fucking a
whole brigade of people just came through and they're like no it's actually diet pepsi that
is the crispiest if you marinate for at least four days first of all it can't be
i don't know science zeitgang uh i'm curious is there any possibility that the dc or dp are
getting crispier between day three and day four that feels that specifically impossible to me but
maybe not maybe there's like an inner lining that is
like slowly cooling like an inner lining of the diet coke right man right but i definitely had
the experience of it a diet coke that seems like it's going to be perfectly crispy but it hasn't
been in long enough and it's just like oh there's a little like warm core yeah yeah you got to have
that refrigerator around like 36 degrees
oh you know what i mean for that crispy shit but like i've never you know like i've had i've
discovered like cans of soda that i've like were in the back of my fridge for weeks you know and
i was like oh shit that's right i saw one more from that like 12 pack and then i drink it and
i'm not like fucking blown like my fucking eyes are opening and i'm seeing like the source code
because i'm like this shit was so crispy fam you're breathing out like an icy mist yeah like a denty ice commercials
yeah nothing's cooler than ice i love a diet coke i'm a diet coke girl i respect this girl but i
gotta say this is what makes me sad about gen z being trapped inside during the pandemic because
this is what they got into but this girl would have been so big into like psychedelics she would have been like this is the way you take a trip man she
would have been bringing her friends out she would have been like we're all gonna do a half an ounce
of mushrooms and i'm gonna be your trip guide but instead she's focusing that energy on diet coke
which is fine yeah it's like it's got to be a frozen the other thing is frozen glass which just means a very chilled glass i get that that's this like
same principles with beer like and i get it uh and also a glass straw is another thing everyone
swears glass straw yeah i heard a metal straw glass that's probably because they i don't know
maybe they're smoking tweak with it or something after. And that's how that works out, chasing the dragon. My god, when this woman discovers drugs, holy shit.
The, yeah, I don't know.
I'm very picky about my Diet Cokes.
I love a crispy Diet Coke.
When you get the right mix of ice, coldness of the diet coke pre-ice and coldness of the glass like it's really
an unparalleled experience the fact that she's gone with pebbled ice is interesting to me because
that's just more surface area than i would typically want but i guess if diet coke crispy
enough then maybe the pebbled ice doesn't melt so quickly yeah then well the other thing in
that one video i showed you which is like i'm sticking to my principles she what she did was
she made pebble ice with diet coke right but then you're just having flat diet coke melt into your
they're not understanding where the crispy comes from and that's why again i'm like this might be
the white girl version of standing like mcdonite. Yeah. You know what I mean?
It's like,
Oh,
the shit,
the way it come out and stuff like that.
Then.
Cause I'm,
you know,
I'm,
I'm definitely the McDonald's Sprite gang in that sense,
because I,
I think it tastes better or whatever.
I'm really fucked up in that sense.
So I,
I get where you're going with the diet Coke thing,
but I think if you're really trying to like push the envelope,
what you need to do is invest in some kind of like cryo tap system where you can ensure that
you when you pull the tap you have diet coke coming out of like a half degree above for
like freezing so it can still maintain its liquid state i feel like look like let's fucking talk
about science like i feel like i'm coming there it feels like flat earther type shit, too, where it's like, well, hey, they're interested in science.
You know, even though you can't marinate a fucking can of fucking soda.
I don't know a process that is.
But we can talk about what maybe the optimal temperature is and how to get that to come out of a surf like a serving thing like a tap or something.
But hey, you know, we're on our journeys.
Yeah.
Wait, I just, I'm sorry.
I just got so nervous for this girl
because I just know she's going to try to put Diet Coke
through a soda stream and blow her house up.
Oh my gosh.
I just know.
If she's listening, don't do that.
Dozens of people die that way every year.
Oh my god.
In search of marinated Diet Coke.
Like, marinate?
It's like, do y'all even understand what marinate even means for fucking cooking?
Like, I don't even cooking.
I love that.
Oh, man.
Well, hey, he's setting it up.
I've been setting up this diet Coke.
Aging.
Refridge aging.
Maybe that's what it is.
Crisping it.
Let's call it that.
I don't think the diet coke girls are
the girls who are cooking a lot and i respect that yeah yeah what did she pull out she was
like and i like some lime with it but then she like pulled out what looked like a green tea
packet or something yeah what she was here i'll show you what it was like a lot she's doing lime Flavoring with limes. Lime flavor. Well, she has.
That pour is violent.
Yeah, the violence of the pour.
I feel like she doesn't like the crispiness as much.
But wait.
Oh, it's that weird crystal.
Yeah, it's like water TikTok.
It's water talk, too.
Second, for good measure.
Yeah.
It's also an essential.
Wait. talk too second for good measure yeah it's also an essential wait she just poured a packet of like lime crystal light yeah no i i've seen these it's like it's like lime juice crystallized but
wait no i've just i would had so much respect for i just completely turned on her she doesn't
like diet coke she likes diet coke with a huge amount of lime juice yeah she likes lime juice
she likes yeah she likes a cocktail that's on like almost like a jack and coke with a huge amount of lime juice yeah she likes lime juice she likes
yeah she likes a cocktail that's on like almost like a jack and coke at a bar without yeah without
the whiskey getting like smacked in her taste buds huh hey look jack they're interested in
science though yeah yeah no for sure you know and hey do you know where the concept of vibrational
frequency even comes from oh no science science you know what i
mean welcome come on in come on in come on in diet coke tiktok come on water talk let's talk let's
talk about science well ian lockwood such a pleasure having you on the daily zeitgeist uh
where can people find you follow you all that good stuff you can find me online on all the platforms
at mr ian lockwood you can watch that new video for Orbo that I put
out that I'm so happy about. And you can see me all over Brooklyn and sometimes all over the States.
Just look me up. There it is. And is there a work of media that you've been enjoying?
Actually, yes. So I think I'm a musical comedian and I think we're kind of entering a golden age
of musical comedy.
So there have been two things.
The first thing I've been listening to my good friend Kyle Gordon's a couple of tracks.
He's putting out an album in March, but he was the guy who did Planet of the Base.
And I cannot stop listening to that if you guys know what that is.
And the other thing more seasonally is Matt Rogers' Have You Heard of Christmas?
It's a Christmas album.
It's comedy
music it's so so funny there are uh tracks like the hottest female up in whoville have you heard
of christmas the title track rockefeller center which is my favorite it's one where they just
sort of talk about tourists who visit rockefeller center and then they the whole song is just them
listing people who work in the building it's a really good album definitely
recommend you check it out that's so funny have you have they even heard like not i'm not asking
do they know it's christmas have they even heard of christmas that is exactly the bit yeah it's
so fucking great miles where can people find you is there a work media you've been enjoying yeah
find me at miles of gray, wherever they have at symbols.
Obviously, we got the basketball podcast, miles and jack out mad boosties.
And if you like 90 day fiance, catch me on for 20 day fiance with Sophia Alexandra.
I don't have a piece of media, but I just did.
I didn't want to share something, you know, we were talking about Kenny DeForest.
He was in an accident last week and we had sent people the information to give
to his GoFundMe. Um, and tragically we found out that on Wednesday he passed away. Um, and I just,
he was such a beloved guest, uh, and such a good guy. And, uh, we were just like, just so,
just so devastated, honestly, to, um, to hear about his passing. So I know,
I don't, I don't know how many people may have heard about what had happened, but I just did
want to bring that up in case you had heard about, you know, what he'd been going through,
because it, it, it's definitely something that's affecting this show and many other people in the
comedy world. I'm sure you've seen people, many people post when eulogize him because he was
really a fantastic person and, uh uh it's just a very kind guy
and so funny yeah yeah yeah um so i just you know i i just want to have people keep his family and
him in your prayers or your thoughts or whatever spiritual practice you have because uh we we lost
a really really great person and and sadly a good friend of this show so uh rest in peace to kenny um man
yeah that's that's that's my piece for the moment uh yeah i just wanted to share that yeah i've just
been that my my work at media is just going through and like all the pictures of him and
you know just short clips of him backstage or you know clips of his stand-up i've been really enjoying he left behind
a lot of great work and was was great while he was uh with us so you can find me on twitter at
jack underscore o'brien you can find us on twitter at daily zeitgeist we're at the daily zeitgeist
on instagram we have a facebook fan page and a website dailyzeitgeist.com where we post our
episodes and our footnotes,
where we link off to the information that we
talked about in today's episode,
as well as a song that we think
you might enjoy. Miles, is there a song
that you think they might
enjoy? Yeah, this is
just a nice instrumental track by Abstract
Orchestra. They like to take, you know,
seminal pieces of hip-hop
instrumentalism and give them full band
arrangements. This
comes from the Mad Villain album.
Obviously, that's a collaboration between MF Doom
and Mad Lib, and this is their
take on Accordion, which is a lot of
people's favorite song from that album. So this is
Abstract Orchestra with Accordion.
Alright, well, we will link off to that in the
footnotes. The Daily Zeitgeist is a
production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
That's going to do it for us for this week.
We have the Weekly Zeitgeist coming out over the weekend and then back on Monday to tell you what was trending over the weekend.
And we will talk to you all then.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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