The Daily Zeitgeist - Introducing Critical Energy Theory! Late Capitalism Induced Delirium 12.08.21
Episode Date: December 8, 2021In episode 1045, Jack and Miles are joined by musician, author, and comedian Chris Crofton to discuss We’re fucked: Introducing Critical Energy Theory!, Speaking of regressing…, Justin Bieber-Bran...ded Donuts are Taking Canada by Storm, For Some Reason and more! We’re fucked: Introducing Critical Energy Theory! Speaking of regressing… Justin Bieber-Branded Donuts are Taking Canada by Storm, For Some Reason I Tried Justin Bieber's New 'Timbiebs' & As Far As Snacks Go, I'm A Belieber Would you wear the new ‘Timbiebs’ merch? Justin Bieber and Tim Hortons unveil collection McDonald's Launches a Line of Mariah Carey Merch to Celebrate Holiday Collab — and It's All Free Follow: @thecroftonshowListen: Cold Brew Got Me Like PodcastPre-order: The Advice King Anthology by Chris CroftonListen: If I Take I Need by Sideshow Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I'm Keri Champion, and this is Season 4 of Naked Sports.
Up first, I explore the making of a rivalry.
Kaitlyn Clark versus Angel Reese.
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Listen to the making of a rivalry.
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Okay, everybody, we have exciting news to share.
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hello the internet and welcome to season 214 episode 3 of your daily zeitgeist a production
of iheart radio and this is a podcast where we take a deep dive into america's shared consciousness
it is wednesday december 8th 2021 which of course means that it's pretend to be a time traveler day fun for some boring for
other boring for us because we are time traveling every day you know yeah i don't know if it's about
i think it's a doctor who reference but also like it's to celebrate all time travel content
pretending to be a time traveler is like also just being like
super fucked up
and confusing somebody
by insisting it's a different time.
But I don't know.
Go out there and pretend
to be a time traveler, folks.
Hop out your TARDIS.
Yeah.
We pretend to be a time traveler
every day
by pretending we're in the future
while actually coming to you
from the past.
Think about that.
So yeah, try and think about that.
Without your fucking head exploding.
My name is Jack O'Brien,
a.k.a. Simply Catchin' the Omicron Strain this time.
That's Kirstie Yamakandikane.
He's nothing if not a wordsmith.
Usually Yamaguchi, man.
But for the holidays, Ky Yamakandy Kane.
And I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co-host,
Mr. Miles Gray!
One, this is a dream come true.
Two, COVID should now be through.
Three, girls, it's plain to see
that this is looking endemic to me and four repeat shots one through three
five you think you'll get the fifth for free and if you ever believe covid is done
then it'll start back at one shout out to la caroni for that wonderful Brian McKnight inspired,
AKA you probably picked up that.
I did learn how to play anytime on the piano.
And that is how we got that.
But anyway,
shout out to you.
Were you playing the piano that time?
No,
but we were talking about like,
I think when sorrow was on playing piano and how I really only learned to
play two,
I,
cause she was trying to play the succession.
And I said,
the only songs I try to remember or learn how to play yeah everything in its right place and anytime by
right there it is well we are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by one of the very faces
on mount zeitmore he's a hilarious stand-up comedian actor and musician with a seven a 7.6 rated album on Pitchfork? Sure.
7.4, but yeah.
Nah, 7.6.
That was the last thing cut from their revisions list
where they were like,
do people need us to revise this 7.4 up to a 7.6?
Yeah, they do that.
They secretly change their ratings if some hip album is messed up.
So they're going to fix mine, I'm sure.
They did. 7.6.
They let us know.
Finally, now I can go
backstage at Zebulon.
You can listen to his podcast, Cold Brew Got Me Like
or stream it on Twitch. His new book,
The Advice King Anthology,
is available for pre-order.
Hold on to your butts because the poetry window is
open. It's Chris motherfucking
Clopton!
Holy shit.
What's up? Wow.
Man, oh man. Man, oh man.
Boy, oh boy. I'm just
sitting in Monrovia. I've been
writing so many poems
that I'm just
just trying to find a tweet that i liked you know for that segment of the show segment and i just
can't find anything except for fucking poems machine and um yeah i got this book coming out
on vanderbilt university press oh that's right vanderbilt university the one that's right. Vanderbilt University. The one that's the one in America, the one that's spelled right.
People are like Vanderbilt where?
Oh, I'm like, no, the real one.
They're like, yeah, sure.
So that's coming out in April, but you can preorder it now.
And that's my main.
That's what I've just been like.
I've been so excited about that. I mean, it's just so fun to announce a book i mean i don't even it's such a
i mean i don't really know what it means but man oh man people seem to be impressed author
academic yeah people really it's really great i'll talk about it because it's one of my like
overrated underrated things but it's your upcoming book yeah oh i mean no no just like
the experience of telling people you have a book coming out yeah i mean it is nothing beats oh yeah
it opens doors it is very rich experience have you tried that like at a restaurant yet
i'm gonna talk to people get very pale the blood drains from everybody's face excuse me what
working on my book because everybody wants to put a book out.
Everybody.
Even people who are just like stockbrokers who don't know anything are like, I thought I might have a book in me.
You know, it's like the American myth that you have a book in you.
You got a book in me.
Yeah.
Like, you got a book in you until you say to some like person.
I mean, but you, I feel like of all the people that have been on this show without even second thought, I'd be like, yeah, Chris has a few books in him.
Yeah.
That I think he can get out.
Yeah, but, oh, man, anyway, I'll talk about it.
Yeah, so I've been having a good time.
I've been promoting the book and announcing it.
It just recently got announced because they were fixing their website.
And that's it.
I don't know.
I'm sitting in my fucking garage.
I'm sitting in my landlord's garage, even better.
Hey. With my friends, themx bikes of his children that i don't touch because i don't want to get a mad oh no i'm careful in here i tiptoe around
this property the way of the way of 50 the way a 52 year old tenant should because he doesn't even
know you're in there hey chris i saw a dirt, a little mud on the mud guard on the rear tire of the BMX bike.
You weren't riding it, were you?
Because we told you to not ride it.
I don't even know how to ride a bike, sir.
Okay, okay.
It's just weird because it's, I know we just hosed the bikes down.
I just noticed some mud.
But I trust you.
Sir, I'd never have ridden a bike.
Okay.
I would never mount a bike.
I would never be so bold as to mount a bike, sir.
Certainly not your children's bikes.
I don't know why I think I have to be in 19th century England.
I mean, landlord.
They're a lord.
You should treat them with respect.
I washed the horses.
Right.
Oh, okay.
Well, then.
I don't have any horses.
What the fuck did I wash?
That's not all.
Crofton, the blacksmith said he saw you riding our horse through town.
He is a liar.
Certainly, I don't have to tell you what happens when you are insubordinate.
That lying blacksmith.
Never trust a smithy.
That's true.
I mean, that's just good advice.
They're even bigger liars than barrel makers.
Oh. Coopers. That's even bigger liars than barrel makers. Oh.
Coopers.
That's what they're called.
Coopers.
Exactly.
One of the few things I remember from my whole education is that barrel makers are called Coopers.
I love the American education system teaches you drills into your head that a person who makes a barrel is a Cooper.
Who the fuck needs to know that ever?
Not even once do you ever need to know that.
Turns out you did. I need to know that, and I even once do you ever need to know that. Turns out you did.
I need to know that and I need to know Nina Pinta
and Santa Maria. There it is.
The fucking names of Columbus's ships, which means
that basically when we were growing up, it's like
memorizing the names of Hitler's dog.
I mean, Christopher Columbus's
ships. Oh, yeah.
Why did we need to learn that?
Some creep. 100%. 100 some creep and that's
what i know that's what i know i don't know anything else i couldn't do a algebra thing
if you asked me you know if you put a gun to my head i could tell you all about the nina the penta
the santa maria and the goddamn cooper yeah only i could remember when he sailed the ocean blue
unfortunately that's uh i bet if you asked madison Cawthorn, I snuck up behind Madison Cawthorn and you were like, what's that? You'd be so psyched. Like a pretend interview. Yeah. The other thing you just want to close this up with, uh, do you know how, what the name of, I've been just trying to figure this out. The name of someone who makes a barrel. It's a Cooper. Cooper. It's a Cooper. And what would you call in the antebellum period,
the person who would be in the fields with the slaves
to make sure that they were working efficiently?
Do you know what that work was called?
I don't know.
It's overseer.
I never heard of that word.
He's never heard of that.
I know what a Cooper is, though.
We're taught bygone jobs rather than history.
I'm just mad at his parents.
Anybody who names their kid Madison Cawthorn
is looking for trouble.
Madison Cawthorn.
I think they thought he would grow up
to be like an American
girl doll with a name like that.
It feels like very like,
this is Madison Cawthorn.
Yeah, just name him Insurrection.
There you go.
Madison Cawthorn.
That name drips with white myths.
Yes.
All right, Chris, we're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment.
First, a couple of things we're talking about today.
We're talking about critical energy theory.
Introducing some new bullshit that the Koch brothers cooked up one coke brother the other
one died we're going to talk about regressing a new toy for adults that will have you regressing
and wearing diapers in no time we're going to talk about some new celebrity focused fast food
crazes all of that plenty more but first ch Crofton, we like to ask our guests,
what is something from your search history?
Well, besides abandoned mine exploration,
which is like my main, I mean, honestly,
it's like become a problem.
Yeah, you've been on that pretty consistently.
Yeah, and I've never been in a mine.
But I mean mean why would you
ever go into a mine they're so dangerous and people are doing it on youtube for you they're
loaded with false floors that's all they talk about would you go to an abandoned mine if we
took you to one fuck yes i would and i would go in underprepared right i'd go with my cell phone
light i'd go with like my cell phone light be like 10 battery left on my cell phone light. I'd go with my cell phone light. I'd be like, I don't care. 10% battery left on your cell phone light.
You got flip-flops on.
They're like, dude, you might want a covered toe at least.
Oh, my God.
I would totally go.
You know, but I won't go because you have to, like, you know.
Trespass.
You have to, like, go do it.
I mean, I'm not really.
If someone took me there, it'd be one of those things where I'd have to, like, join a tour.
Right.
Zeitgang, if you know any abandoned mines that are safe, please hit us up.
We'd love to make a tour happen for Chris Cro crofton i just want to talk about the stuff you
know like gobbing gobbing is when they store the rocks in the wall and like what the the big hollow
part where they already pulled all the ore out is called a stope and i mean i have all these
meaning i know everything winds is and drifts and i mean, I know every word. And the people in the videos, that's all they do, too.
I mean, they think they're hot shit.
Right.
They catch up.
You're like, that's just a word for where they got the ore out.
Yeah, they're not fucking miners, but they love fucking saying, like, beating each other to saying, that's gobbing, that's gobbing.
Right.
You may think you're a hot shot, abandoned mine explorer YouTube star. But you ain't shit in my book, okay?
As far as I'm concerned, that's blackface in that you smudge your face with coal to look like a coal miner and trying to act like you know about the mine.
Wait, so what do they do with the rocks that they got while hollowing out the part that they stick the rocks in?
I'm very confused by the physics.
They take the rocks that they've taken out of the stope, which is the part where they pulled the ore out of.
Right.
Which, you know, people enjoy saying that because they say stope.
That's one of the main things.
Yeah, those are great words.
These are awesome words.
Gobbing and stoping.
One of my favorites.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Winds.
They talk about false floors.
False floors they talk about a lot.
That's just like a hazard. They're like, that. They talk about false floors. False floors they talk about a lot. That's just like a hazard.
They're like, that's a false floor right there.
And are those specifically designed that way? Like by just mischievous miners with murder on their mind?
Like wizards?
Like Donkey Kong or something?
No, I don't think so.
It was because these mines were done before.
These are like mostly like turn of the century, like 1900.
They didn't know about Donkey Kong.
Yeah.
But they probably did some.
They probably rolled barrels at each other and had to jump over.
I mean, it was boring as fuck down there.
Yeah.
All they did was smoke Prince Albert.
I mean, that's all there is in there is like Prince Albert cans.
And anyway, they take the rocks out of the stope and then they put them behind.
Sometimes they put them behind some timbers, like in the wall.
Yeah, okay.
So it's just like closer, a closer place to put the rocks.
Yes, basically they're just like trying to like figure out how to not take it to the surface.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they like to put it behind wall, but they put it behind some timbers, that's called gobbing.
Right.
And then if they put it in a tunnel they already went down
then they they call that backfilling and they like to speculate whether it's a collapse or
backfill they're always like is that a collapse or is that backfill and they're like if you have
like a mini argument you know and it's also the same by the way this is not your search history
this is just welcome for first-time listeners to a first cropped episode
i mean i'm all right i'll get all right back to the subject at hand even though uh the subject
at hand for me is always abandoned mine exploration and uh i guess i would say i
since i have this podcast called cold brew got me like that you can listen to on all the platforms
i i've been looking for videos or stories
that I've... When I was younger,
I read this story about this guy who ordered
food from a UFO.
I've always been looking for
that story. It's like a guy. It's a
chicken farmer from 1961
who said he saw a craft
that had men
with turtlenecks with
Italian accents in it. they offered him food and
he said yes and and then he he actually has one of the pancakes like he kept one of them
like and he took them to a lab and they said that like they tested it quick yeah they tested it in
like 1961 so i doubt they probably just like put
their tongue on it you know right right and they were like they said it was mostly made of grease
which i also don't even think is a scientific term right wait so this is a non-fiction story
yes this is supposed to be a non-fiction story and i just like on the last podcast we talked
about this but it's something i've been looking for because i couldn't find it i think when i was younger i bought this reader's digest i think it's called
strange mysteries book it's like a hard hardcover book like anybody who grew up in the 80s or
70s late 80s i'd say knows when they did those like uh time life series like like world of strange monsters get a volume
every like one month to get bigfoot next month to get yeti i mean this is right old golden age yes
and um you know they chopped up the book into like 20 volumes but this was like before readers
digest figured that out so they put out one hardcover book with all the strange mysteries
of the whole world and it's really pretty exhaustive it's like wow and his and one of the stories was this guy who ordered food from a ufo
and i just thought i just i just it blew me away because i mean if this first of all if you saw a
ufo would you be hungry anymore yeah even if you were hungry before i mean maybe the ufo picked
him out as somebody they were just like guy, based on our amazing futuristic technology, that guy could use a fucking pancake.
There's so many good parts about this story because he's from Kansas.
So he said Italian accents.
What does that mean to him?
That's what he calls an alien accent.
He sounded like my buddy Terry Facinelli.
He's like, there was a UFO with Italians in it.
You know, and it's like, he just means aliens.
Yeah.
Right.
People with dark hair.
They were short Italians and huge heads and they were green.
You know, typical Italians.
Right.
And then I just think the idea that somehow you have the presence of mind during UFO sighting to agree to eat some food.
He also said he got them some water and he said they were wearing turtlenecks.
And I just like the idea of like, what did this drunk chicken farmer actually right yeah right i think he
wandered into like back in the area of a bowling alley where they set the pins right
and ate like a thing of uh yeah and he met some like like yeah he met a couple of italians who
were like wearing turtlenecks.
And they just like, he gave him some french fries and told him to go home.
And he kept one of them in his pocket and took it to a lab.
There you go.
It was a frittata.
They're like, I'll have some of that pancake.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, it was like a Mexican food truck.
It was like something like that.
It was like, yeah, Italians wearing turtlenecks.
I like if it were aliens, though, who are like, yo, check this guy.
Let's see if we can get him to eat our shit.
Call it a pancake.
Just like, yes, idiot.
All right.
Want to probe him?
No, it's boring.
Let's try and get him some pancakes.
Call it a pancake.
Oh, Judy ate it.
Later.
Idiot.
That was mostly grease.
Yeah.
The lowest stakes alien encounter. love it i just i've always wanted to know what that guy really saw right because if you're a chicken farmer in 1961
you are drunk oh yeah and is there is that has that myth like extended like is does he have
extended fan like is has that can we find someone now who's like i spoke to him i would like to have
a podcast where i would like to have a podcast on iHeartRadio where I could do that very thing with a team.
And I've pitched it to you guys over and over again.
Find the fucking chicken farmer.
Before you just said on the hunt for Italians.
And I was like, what is this?
Turn of the century xenophobiaophobia i never said that yeah it was something about uh payback for
columbus i want to call the podcast italians and turtlenecks but wait there's more but wait
there's more it's aliens serving pancakes no what do you mean this isn't a money what are you
talking about you can't monetize there's no more out of your mind give me one episode
give me the president What are you talking about? You can't monetize. There's no market for this. Get me one episode.
I'll show you.
Give me the president.
He'll fucking understand.
He'll get it.
Yeah, Joe Biden will get it.
What's something you think is overrated?
Overrated.
I put Hinge and the Beatles.
Hinge and the Beatles.
The dating app and the documentary. Yeah, so just a couple.
What do you guys want to talk about like i don't know if
anyone else has talked about how annoying it is everybody's going crazy for the beatles for the
nine millionth time yeah and then i mean i'm fine with the beatles they're fine i used to like them
but i mean for goodness sake stop selling me footage of your childhood you boomer piece of shit have you heard about this guy paul mccartney though i mean oh yeah we need
to hear about him again i know more about paul mccartney than i know about myself right right
i keep hearing people be like about that documentary be like and you just watch him
and he comes up with like let it be on the spot or he comes up with, like, let it be on the spot.
Or he comes up with... I guess the get back one is a little bit more accurate.
But, like, let it be.
He, like, clearly came in.
He, like, wrote that song the night before.
And then, like, through the magic of editing,
he's suddenly playing it.
People are like, that's fucking amazing.
He just, like, wrote that right there.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know,
and the fact that he first
called uh yesterday scrambled eggs and stuff i mean if you've ever you know scrambled eggs like
people are like imagine the world if it was called scrambled eggs like that would have changed the
whole world like anybody anywhere besides like i don't know 1 million 69 year olds give a shit
about that stuff right but you know but they just happen
to run every tv station yeah but you know it just makes me mad it's just like fuck you man i you
know the public enemy was my beatles and how come you didn't do a nine hour documentary about making
the making of like it takes a million and billions to hold us back i want to see that shit yeah well
yeah but you know there's not a camera team.
What? I think the closest we got was
Flavor of Love on VH1, unfortunately.
Right. That's how seriously
they take it. Many hours, though.
Yes, and no one even
treated that seriously.
No, they didn't. No one even treated that
serious documentary Flavor of Love.
No, and we saw Buck Wilde.
She was adopting uh some
ebonic accent affect there and we said nothing and that's why we got january 6th it was right
there supremacy shit they get a i mean this is really true and i don't want to bring it to white
supremacy but it is one of my fucking being mad at white people is you know this is the time
so you know of course the beatles had 25 cameras shooting them you know
how many people how many people were shooting public enemy you know nobody right because these
guys were already you know they were already the darlings and they already had 25 cameras on them
and and people are already kissing their ass for whatever it's it's just it's just a thing where
it's like there's no making of i mean it's it's no surprise that they had 25 cameras during the making of their album and that there's no record of Straight Outta Compton being made.
Right.
Because they didn't have a nine-camera crew of British guys being like, would you like some tea while you write your genius shit?
Right.
Oh, Paul first said, you wouldn't believe it.
First, Paul said, scramble eggs instead of let it be
he's a genius oh my goodness what would we do without that soft rock song right yeah okay so
that's one thing and then hinge is me just being on hinge which has been like first of all i thought
that like i was like listen i'm a loner tired of a loner. I think I'd like to get a girlfriend.
And I thought it would take like one day.
How'd that go?
Oh, my God.
It is the loneliest place.
I feel so bad for everybody on there, including me.
Even the people you're like matching with.
Oh, my God.
It's just a parade of the lonely.
It just underscores how alone we all are and how we
will die alone it should be called die alone or like escape from dialogue seriously it's seriously
like it's just everybody just wants to do the same thing so then it becomes because they've
all been influenced by magazines and they're all like i want to taste wine and stand next to a boat and and so that's what everybody wants so then it just becomes who's hotter because i mean if
you all have the same interest it's just a sweepstakes for who's hotter yeah right it's
like every single person's trying to be beyonce or fucking daniel craig or whoever i'm not i'm
looking at men but i mean like they come on there actually. I mean, it's like people impersonating celebrities, you know,
except then it just becomes who's hotter.
Which one looks actually more like Jennifer Aniston or who looks more like,
I don't even know any celebrities.
It's okay.
Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Enrique.
Yeah.
It's all like who looks like Sarah Rochelle Geller and who looks like
Enrique Iglesias.
Exactly.
We're in 1998.
I'm always in 1998.
1998 represent!
But you don't have a profile kind of set aggressively honest,
where if someone sees you, they know they're not getting wine tasting by a boat with this profile.
Yes, but I think Hinge is the wrong place for that,
because Hinge seems to be, at least in my age group which is 90 to 140 they are there are people who have retired
from life and they do not want to go to record stores like i do right right right you know you're
not going to find anybody on hinge who's 52 years old who wants to go to thrift stores and that's
what i'm marketing on there.
And they're like, oh, cool.
I mean, my profiles will just say poor.
Right.
Right.
You know, on every category.
Has anybody done like the just like hanging out dating app that's like for just people to like hang with
without the dating side of it?
It feels like that would be...
What's that called?
Is there such a thing? Oh, you mean like
Plutano or something?
Yeah, Plutano.
I mean, it sounds like something
you couldn't get
trash men to be honest about, that they were
entering something platonically.
No, they would sneak and that would be
a nightmare.
They'd be like, yeah, I'm really feeling you.
Maybe this could be a date.
Like, oh, fuck.
I just wanted to
get wind by this boat.
I'm so excited to get to know you
and show you my dick pics.
That's the first message.
You're on Platano.
Yeah.
You're on Platano, Fred.
No D pics on Platano. Jesus. You're on Plutano, Fred. No D picks.
Plutano.
We don't know that.
Jesus Christ, men are trash.
Yeah.
They'll even.
So, yeah, I don't know that.
I think I'm on the wrong one.
I do think.
I think Hinge is like, at least it hasn't.
I went on one date and it was okay.
But the woman talked about astrology to the point where it was like way, way, way too much.
Like, even if you like astrology you can't
talk about it that long on the first date right the whole time i glazed over she's talking about
planets rising and all kinds of shit and i seriously forgot i was even anywhere i was like
i fell asleep with my eyes open right you astrally projected somewhere else yes and i was trying to
be polite so i was like oh yeah i don't know. I think also, like, yeah, it's crazy, the universe and everything.
But, you know.
Chris, I asked you what time of day you were for.
She didn't buy that as, like, you being interested and engaging.
She was quite nice. Looking around.
Actually, I didn't have a bad time, but there was zero chemistry.
And that's what you look at at this thing.
It's like, really, everybody's looking for a person that's imaginary,
which is just this hot traveling
wine tasting boat you know it's like this captain yeah like it's kind of like a joke you know it's
like i mean everyone and that's what makes it sad because everybody's looking for somebody that they
can't get and i tried to be like honest but i mean then it's like i mean i just put some stuff like
uh you know getting to know you or you know you might like me if you like jonathan
richmond i put you know and that's like yeah for that app there's like what the but they don't know
who that is right i mean not a chance and once they found out they'd be like oh that guy's poor
i mean like that guy jonathan richmond's poor by extension that means i mean i feel like i'm hung
up on money obviously i'm but yeah i'm not like i don't feel
like i'm doomed but i think maybe a hinge is not my my place yeah you need to be on raya bris it
sounds like you need to be on raya that's what i want to meet i want to meet people who are such
pieces of shit they need their own they need their own but they have to date other pieces of shit in a special zone.
It is really interesting that everybody's doing the same shit.
It's the ultimate kind of late-stage capitalism where it's turned people into products
that are all chasing the same trends.
We're going to talk later about how Tim Hortons
is now chasing the celebrity food trends. It's kind of sad for real but then again it's like i feel like
eventually that's a big big topic but i think that it is depressing to see when it used to be
like if you went to a certain region of the country they all dress differently like if you
went to like seattle yeah it was like people like there actually was like a oh people here wear flannel shirts and
you go to texas and they wear some stupid kind of sneakers they like or whatever and they're
really popular there and then you go to like florida and they got a different stupid thing
they're into but there really was regional shit now it's just like people can look at instagram
for 10 minutes and find out what they're supposed to wear and then it's just really hard to figure
out who's nice and who's not because they all look like generic monsters.
Anyway.
Anyways, let's take a quick break and we're going to come back and talk about what you think is underrated.
This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts, separated by two months.
These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago
when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.
President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.
I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer.
This is Rip Current,
available now with new episodes every Thursday.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks
Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the
culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country
into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere
starting September 25th on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I've been thinking about you I want you back in my life
it's too late for that
I have a proposal for you
come up here and document my project
all you need to do is record everything
like you always do
one session, 24 hours
BPM 110, 120.
She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this?
We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller
from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sure, totally normal humans. We'll talk about life, love, laughter, and why you should never argue with your co-pilot.
Especially when she's always right.
Right, and if we hit turbulence, just blame it on Mercury retrograde.
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And don't worry, we promise to avoid any black holes.
Most of the time.
And we're back.
And Chris, we do like to ask our guests,
what's something you think is underrated?
Okay, I'm going to tell you this is one I really am enjoying.
I'm so stupid.
This is one I'm really enjoying. I said nothing yet.
The underrated thing is telling people that you have a book coming out.
Not just like the first question they have is like, oh, self-published?
No, as a matter of fact.
Oh, on Amazon?
That's neat.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you're just like, we're probably stapling them together?
No. You need help going to Kinko's to staple them? matter of fact on amazon that's oh yeah yeah oh you're just like we're probably stapling them together no you need how many staples does i take i mean seriously people have no problem like saying that right to your face oh self-published right what yeah i didn't finish telling you yeah you
fucking aggressive motherfucker no it's not self-published. Right. Which there's nothing wrong with that.
It's published by Vanderbilt University.
Yeah.
Oh,
and they're like,
ever heard of it?
I mean,
it,
because Vanderbilt University is actually valued more by fucking assholes than anybody.
Right.
Like,
like the most superficial white stockbroker,
whatever.
The most like empty white person on the planet, like your CEO even will be like, oh, Vanderbilt University is a great school. That's one of the things. It's one of the five things you press a rich person's chest buttons. One of them will say Vanderbilt University is a good school. Oh, Vandy? Yeah. Oh, Vandy. Yeah, yeah. Vandy. I used to date a girl from Vandy. Yeah.
Yeah.
Or I went to Vandy.
Right.
Yeah. Or I got a BA in money shuffling or whatever they do.
Yeah.
And, you know, I got a BA in paper pushing and being miserable.
But what was the road to this book, though?
You know, like.
My whole life.
I know.
But how did it come about?
Like, you had it and you said, hey, you were knocking.
Vanderbilt. Let me in. I know, but how did it come about? Like, you had it and you said, hey, you were knocking. Vanderbilt!
Let me in!
I've been rattling their cage for years.
Just screaming outside.
I just saw that image of, like, Jerry Lee Lewis at the, you know,
Jerry Lee Lewis went to Elvis's gate with a gun.
That's why I just pictured myself pictured myself like with a cold brew instead
and your stapled man yeah just like pulling on the gate
so uh uh anyway no i the good thing about the good thing about nashville back in the day
early 2000s was that there was nobody there really but there was sort of like a
it was set up like,
they had all the setup for arts, like they had a local weekly owned by the Village Voice,
which was a Nashville scene.
But because it was a music town, they had like sort of the infrastructure for the arts,
but there just weren't that many people there doing art.
So it was like, or especially anything besides country music.
So when I started playing rock music there, I immediately, like, I was able to walk into the Nashville scene in 2001, two, when I moved there in 2001, and just be like, can I talk to the music editor?
And my friend Jim, who has now passed away, he walked down the hall and was like, hi, I'm the music editor.
You know?
Nice. he walked down the hall and was like, hi, I'm the music editor, you know? And, and like, nice. It was like,
that was,
you know,
if I,
I just moved from New York where if I'd wanted to talk to Robert Crisco,
who was the current music editor of the village voice,
they would have fed me to sharks.
You know what I mean?
It was,
it was like a whole different.
So Vanderbilt,
I just had a couple,
I had a couple of fans that are like people who liked my writing on the
Vanderbilt university press staff.
Yeah.
So they reached out to me,
which is even better.
Oh,
because when I talked to the hinge bio,
Chris,
I know when I talked to my therapist,
I think my therapist,
she,
I think she must've wanted to publish a book one time because,
because I said like,
Oh yeah,
I got this book,
this book Vanderbilt's put in my book.
You?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah. Right. You're self publishing it. No, I just said Vanderbilt's putting out a book. You? Yeah, right. Yeah, right.
You're self-publishing it?
No, I just said Vanderbilt.
Vanderbilt what?
What did we say about your book?
Vanderbilt what?
Vanderbilt spelled how?
Vanderbilt where?
Sorry, I'm just taking that down.
And wow.
Also, the cover of the book is your face.
Like that's pretty, is that right?
Like that is the cover?
Yes.
And it's a drawing by this guy named
nicholas gazon who is a a really great artist and i found him on my friend was a fan of his and i
found him on whatever i saw his art online and just basically reached out to him and uh i mean
there's nine drawings a lot of people who get a book published that's you know like a ya thing
that's like i don't know but like what's a ya oh young
young adult thing or i don't know like just no it's just a like that's it's a book by you
about you like that's yeah that's the next level of book publishing i you know it's like with the
thing what's great thanks i mean i i take that as i mean as a compliment just because i'm like
i i don't really get it because what it happens. So sort of like I started writing this advice column when I moved to Los Angeles, the whole thing was just started very strangely, which I described in the book.
advice as an advice column and henry rollins does and you're kind of like that kind of person for nashville so and you know jim who's the editor and i bet they'd give you an advice column have
you ever thought about doing that you know and i was of course like no what what you know like
right just like well you write jokes and you write songs or whatever so and then i it just was like
i had nothing else going for me when i moved out here i moved out here kind of like you know with
typical ideas about oh i'm going to be the world's most famous standup because it's merit-based and everybody's
good there or whatever. You know, there's all these crazy ideas about LA that it turns out I
took out of a movie. And, you know, and so this advice column became all I had. I was living in
an apartment in Glendale, a four bedroom that the kitchen occasionally spit out like gallons of black water out of the sink
and i just hid in my room and wrote that advice column every week for for two years you know and
i was living with three comedians were like half my age and they all played dungeons and dragons
and shit i mean i was like thank god for that column you know so i put my fucking everything
into that column well i'm glad uh it worked out seven years later yeah right you know
so it's just like it's just but you know i knew that writing was good i knew it i knew it was fun
i knew because i would read back because i get in kind of a trance when i write them because i write
them late at night and i'll read them back and sometimes i laugh at my own shit and i know
i just know and you know i've i've always had my mother is actually a really good sounding board
for shit so she would have told me i mean in a good in a bad way you know she's always been good
for her that's no good or that's good you know right are you really gonna wear that hat right
you know that kind of shit like you know i don't think that's super valuable you know all the way
back to my mom saying like you might need a weave wow she really said that to me and she also
described bald people as people who need
weaves. I mean, that's the funniest part. She's like, there's a lot of people running around out
there could use a weave. I'm like, mom, I don't think you know anything about weaves. Yeah. Or
hair restoration. First of all, what are they going to weave to? Have you seen the top of my
head? Do you know what weaving is? Anyway, so that's one of the things my mom said. She also
said, I think you losing your hair bothers
you more than you know which is like the most insidious mom thing that is that is some real
shit right there wow sniper shot through the heart you might want to look into being sadder chris
well you're not sad as much you're not sad anymore with this book so make sure people go out there
and get it.
It's called the advice King anthology and it's available through Vanderbilt university presses website right now as a pre-order,
you get 40% off if you use the code 15 pre.
Yeah.
Okay.
And it's like,
sure.
It's like 13 bucks with the discount.
And,
um,
and then it comes out in stores because it's going to be distributed in
April.
But yeah,
the most fun thing is seeing
the smoke come out of the ears. I'll tell you real quick. I know this is long. I'm going to
tell you real quick. I was working at the wine bar where I work on the weekends. Right. And one
of the customers was like, what have you been doing during the pandemic? You know, he's like,
I haven't seen him forever. He's like, oh man, so glad to see you. You know, but we'd never really
been, you know, we've seen each other a million times at the wine bar. He's a regular. Right.
Yeah. So he said, what have you been up to and i just went crazy and i was like maybe i should
just tell him what i've really been up to you know so i was like i've been like i've been writing an
advice column for he already was like what so i was like i just already had to follow through i
was like i'm writing an advice column for seven years, and Vanderbilt University is putting it out.
And he was like, what?
He didn't want a, like, rude answer, like an impressive answer.
Yeah.
All right, asshole, just give me my wine.
I come here to feel better than you.
I do not want to hear about whatever craziness you're talking about.
So he didn't know what to say, so he just goes, are you going to sell it at the wine bar?
Just go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So follow your dreams.
People.
One day when you're 52,
you can tell a wine bar customer that you have a book coming out and they can
ask you if they're going to puzzled and angry.
If you're going to sell it at the,
you're like,
Oh,
let me guess the parking lot guy.
He's a,
he's a delegate to the UN now.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Have you ever worked? Have you ever worked food service?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know how, like, I once had a customer, a drunk, and this was at a really expensive
restaurant, a drunk guy look at me through like half-lidded eyes after he had like 19
glasses of wine that cost a million dollars.
He just said, have you ever read Atlas Shrugged?
Oh, my God.
Yeah. I mean, it doesn't get worse as if yeah when i read that i won't be a waiter anymore right that was what his message
was you should probably read that because i read it you obviously didn't so i said yes i did just
because i knew it would make him mad and he was which of course i haven't i'm not gonna waste my
time reading that shit well speaking of that guy the person who told you to read Atlas Shrugged, the Koch brothers, the Koch delegation has this like meeting the American Legislative Exchange Council where they talk about all the cool ways conservatives can make the world a worse place.
I'm just assuming that person is probably a member of this board yeah or at
least subscribes to it yeah and like it's like one of these groups like where like coke aligned
people definitely frequent this function because they were sending a letter like hey here's a good
chance to start talking about this other thing that we're trying to get into the movement which
is this new climate change tack a lot of the uh people who
you know they're they're looking at climate change and believing that it's just so unfair
how like all this talk of like responsibly not destroying the earth it's just so unfair to all
the people with massive fossil fuel stock portfolios and i mean what's that mean for us
not to the people you know countries are being destroyed or you know who don't have no no no they these people who are over leveraged on in
their fossil fuel portfolio they are being screwed by what they believe are woke banks that won't
give them money anymore because they fear earth death or some shit so their plan is was basically
they said when they're there let's try and get this like two pieces of model legislation sort of through there.
So we can kind of explain to people what we're thinking as it as it relates to this sort of optics messaging campaign around climate change.
And the whole thing is that they're trying to and we bring up critical race theory because this is sort of how they described it in the New Republic.
up critical race theory, because this is sort of how they described it in the New Republic.
They're essentially wanting to reframe this whole conversation that it's discrimination against fossil fuel companies by woke banks is their whole thrust. They have one piece called
the quote, resolution opposing securities and exchange commission and White House mandates
on climate related financial matters, basically urging states to like take up legal challenges against these
kinds of rules that are coming from the federal financial regulators, like as it relates to
climate change. They also have another one called the Energy Discrimination Elimination Act that
these are, again, model legislation that hopefully they can get their lobbyists to put in the ears
of state legislators or federal legislators to start putting some terrible laws through the legislature.
But this one directs states to compile a list of entities that are supposedly boycotting fossil
fuel companies, explicitly citing banks that are, quote, increasingly denying financing to
credit worthy fossil energy companies solely for the purpose of decarbonizing their lending portfolios.
And this is all sort of modeled around the anti BDS laws that you see.
Obviously, BDS movement, like as it related to supporting a free Palestine of boycott, divestment and sanctions.
They're they're like the same way they did that.
They're like, we're just going to start doing this for people who want to start acting all woke by not getting the dirty fuels.
Right.
That's crazy.
I mean, it makes sense that they would.
They have these people.
They have people working full time on how to.
I mean, not just people.
They have thousands of people working full time on on developing these crazy strategies.
And they're all basically trolls professionally.
And so they're like, wow wow what if we made it like it
was racist to be mad at people who pollute right right which is hard right because this is like
here's the thing like the banks haven't been shy about getting in bed with the fossil fuel industry
at all and if you know it's one of those things that that the cop26 summit you're like oh no man
like not even the banks are really having their shit together like trying to do their part so again like critical race theory this is just a play to
give conservatives the thing to scream scream about without them realizing that they're fighting
for fucking nothing right like just with critical race theory it was like this fear of a thing that
wasn't even being taught in schools but that was their reality that they were pushing back against
yeah now i don't know if this is like a one to one comparison, because, you know, with critical race theory, that made
sense because conservatives like can't stomach acknowledging that America has a sordid past.
So actively denying this or being hostile towards the realization or acceptance of historical facts
about America, that that would help the conservatives like sort of maintain their sense of
righteousness.
I don't think climate change is as loaded as they think,
because there's also,
there are groups where you're seeing parts of the country where people have
been affected by climate change and conservatives being like, yeah,
that the storms are getting worse, actually.
There is a thing that might need to happen.
So I don't know. mean i'll never i'll never
underestimate the power of wealthy conservatives to convince people it's racist to save the earth
yeah but it's we'll see it is just kind of an instructive to you know look at how conservative
america is that it's like at the a very cellular level that doing like not enough
for about climate change doing not enough about teaching people the truth about america's history
is like causes this outsized reaction because it's just like it or like saying police shouldn't
Or like saying police shouldn't murder unarmed black people is like causes this massive fucking backlash and is treated as like this extremist position. I do just want to add the detail that like so the idea that they are over leveraged on oil like they they were the first people to find out about climate change through their own
research like they above everyone should have known this was coming like it doesn't even like
make any sorts of logical sense that they would be like a victim in any of this they found out
about climate change suppressed the research but they could have also been, you know, investing money in alternate fuels.
And instead they invested it in continuing to fuck the world.
Yeah.
Just doubling down.
A continuing doubling down until you double down to the core of the earth and there's nothing left.
Right.
Right. And it's kind of amazing that, I mean, the history of just fossil fuels, like being basically, you know, like getting rid of like in Los Angeles when they used to have streetcars and they, the car companies made them get rid of it. Like they basically lobbied against public transportation so everyone would need a car in Los Angeles.
So there's like pictures from 1920, whatever, of just like heaps of the old street cars
from la that used to like go around and they're all just like decommissioned because of car
companies i mean it's like we're just gonna have the worst like this the century or the you know
the industrial from the industrial revolution to tiktok is just to be looked at as such a fucking ridiculously sped up way to destroy everything.
And then it's going to get pieced together.
But it's sad to sort of be in this where it's like you can really watch like the breaking of just cars being invented two minutes ago.
Right.
Really?
Right.
And everyone just getting so fucking excited because we're just like basically monkeys.
We're fancy monkeys.
And we get to go in a thing that goes fast that has a radio in it.
Right.
Cut to, we can't have cars anymore.
You don't take a car from a monkey.
Right.
Yeah.
It's as simple as that.
Right.
You don't take money from a monkey.
You don't take a guy who makes money off oil you
don't take away his oil banana and and then there's there's we're all gonna be you know we're
all gonna be living on hills and you know the worst thing is like when people are living on
hills when the when the water's up to our necks you know those people who are people who did it
are still gonna have some stupid comeback that they developed. They're going to say, yeah, well, if it wasn't for, you know, they're going to have some team of people working on a way that they can say this was somebody else's fault.
And anyway, it's so sad to see, though, that the car companies and the oil people have like, you know, knowingly pushed for this stuff.
But then you just look at humanity and you say, well, you know, God is a jerk, you know, for putting this together.
Yeah.
You know, I wish I didn't have to shit four times a day.
Right.
I don't really.
Too many people are blaming Susan Sarandon.
Start blaming God.
I don't really shit four times a day.
But you know what I mean?
I remember that Jack Kerouac said in some, Jack Kerack said in some book i think it was big sir one of my favorite quotes that he said americans he thinks are in a bad
mood because they don't have bidets he said america's walking around with dirty asses yeah
yeah and that contributes to their general feistiness i believe it bad temperament yeah
a clean asshole is a clean seriously just like simple things like that
like whenever i eat a hamburger my life is ruined most people eat hamburgers all day every day and
energy drinks and then they're like fuck this world is fucked up but it's really their ass
that's fucked up yeah my father-in-law was telling my kids this thing fresh mouth fresh mind which is
like a korean saying where like
why you should like brush your teeth before you do anything and i wish i had had this conversation
before that because so i could have been like actually a fresh asshole fresh fresh mind i just
couldn't believe like kerouac got into that it was just like some little part in the book i was just
he was just like he just sort of sort of like mused for a second maybe the problems with america is that everybody in america has a
dirty ass and i was like wow yeah all right let's take a quick break on that note and uh we will be
right back this summer the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts separated by two months.
These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.
President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.
I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The
story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now with new episodes
every Thursday. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhearts the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere starting September 25th on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session. 24 hours.
BPM 110. 120. She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved
and everything?
You're allowed
to be doing this?
We passed the review board
a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous
about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence
is a new horror thriller
from Blumhouse Television,
iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
How do you feel
about biscuits? Hi, I'm
Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited
about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit,
where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky
and try to convince my high school to change their racist
mascot, the Rebels, into something
everyone in the South loves, the Biscuits.
I was a lady Rebel.
Like, what does that even mean?
The Boone County Rebels will stay the Boone County Rebels with the image of the Biscuits.
It's right here in black and white in print.
A lion.
An individual that came to the school saying that God sent him to talk to me about the mascot switch.
As a leader, you choose hills that you want to die on.
Why would we want to be the losing team?
I'd just take all the other stuff out of it.
On segregation academies, when civil rights said that we need to integrate public schools,
these charter schools were exempt from that.
Bigger than a flag or mascot.
You have to be ready for serious backlash.
Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iheart radio app
apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
and we're back and you know as part of what what we've been talking about since the show started, but just in the previous act of all
of us being in a state of forced cognitive dissonance where we're like, but that's not
the truth. But we live in a world that doesn't acknowledge the truth and exists on the foundation of a lie. So one of the kind of embarrassing, from the outside probably,
to anybody who's like kind of viewing this objectively in the future, one of the embarrassing
trends that will show up in history books from this period is regression, like how much we need
to regress to our childhood to get through day-to-day life.
And there's a new kind of high watermark in that with this Fisher-Price working baby phone.
Yeah, I think every person knows what we're talking about.
Just picture the iconic 1961 Fisher-Price chatter phone.
It's a phone with the rotary wheel and then literal like
car wheels on the side has like a smiling face on it and it's all very colorful they've made a
bluetooth enabled accessory out of this and the promotional photos are just so funny to me and
haunting because a lot of the pictures are full-blown adults in their 30s and 40s
like using this toy phone and they're like haha i'm talking to mom on toy phone yeah and i get
look nostalgia is huge but there's just something about this that just really i don't know like it
to see people seem like they're being saved by using this instead of their phone, I think speaks volumes.
But at the same time, part I would be lying if I said that's just kind of funny to me.
That would be stupid to have.
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of, you know, sort of what the what the mission is right now with Fisher Price.
They found a new niche for themselves to be like, come on, babies.
Yeah.
Bring it back to one.
Bring it back.
Oh, yeah. for themselves to be like come on babies yeah bring it back to one bring it back oh yeah like
they're selling like like reselling the products to the adults now that they used as kids as
repurposed as like yeah oh hell yeah this is the future they're gonna sell an actual car that you
can drive on the highway but it's shaped like that fisher price car like the orange one with the yellow roof and you know people will drive it even though
you will die immediately and regular people driving 1996 camrys have to put up with that
shit right right like hello i'm driving a ironic car how are you yeah right or like mini mini
little tykes kitchens they're like i prefer to actually cook in here. It's a lot simpler.
Yeah, there's a little house.
We have an open floor plan and we have a Fisher Price kitchen.
We have a kitchen is done.
We had it done by a developer or whatever kitchen people are called.
And we had it.
Yeah.
It's the whole thing is like your kids.
It's like, that's an easy bake oven, but it's really like, you know, very expensive oven.
Oh yeah.
They're like, that's a Viking. That's a Vikingiking range it's a viking but it's like we got
the stuff on the outside right it looks like all repurposed which means like we're fun people
yeah also i noticed and do you guys have a regular toilet in there i just saw the
my first body no that's it and what okay so when I'm done with it, do you empty?
Oh, yeah, yeah, you empty it.
We have people who empty it.
Yeah, yeah.
For your chamber pot.
And we make them dress up like little Fisher-Price work people.
Yeah, it's really fun.
Yellow helmet and stuff.
Where the fuck am I?
But it seems like, yeah, this trend is going to continue.
But there is something.
This just felt like really, truly.
I don't know, like we're I feel like this is like we're only going to see things ramp up from here.
Yeah, because it does seem like a huge thing.
Like people love, especially with the pandemic, too, and like trying to just resort to whatever quite literally makes you the most comfortable and people being like yeah i'm just gonna wear like sick ass pajamas or like this like influx i've seen of like just like leisure
robes for people to wear everything's just about comfort at this point so if if you need to be a
baby on your phone yeah i you know it's hard enough huh i do have a lawnmower that has a colorful
ball uh popcorn popper on the top that I do my chores with.
But that's actually, that's just cool.
Like, okay, like that has nothing to do with me regressing.
In defense of these people,
the capitalistic model of endless growth
means these people are like,
listen, Fisher-Price is done.
We've done it all.
There's nothing else we can do.
But they still have to have meetings and stuff.
So someone's like, wow, I guess we could.
What about those customers from 40 years ago
that were buying stuff?
I don't know, sell it to them now.
Repurpose it.
Make it relevant to them now.
They're not babies anymore.
The lawnmower has gotten as good as it can get.
But not if it shoots up little plastic pebbles when you roll it around.
It looks so much more dynamic.
When it comes right down to it, it cuts the lawn.
Right.
But you guys don't want to hear that.
Right.
Because you've gone crazy.
A cross brand with Fisher-Price?
We're John Deere.
Yeah.
Well, oh, my God.
Yeah, watch.
And then suddenly, like, more people are using those than, like, traditional, you know, John Deere riding mowers.
Like, I don't know.
There's just something about it, man.
A lot simpler.
Yeah.
Can you hear my mom bringing the dinner bell?
Yeah, I wonder if steampunks cut their fucking lawn with those, like, you know, those old push mowers that, like, are just a rotating blade?
Oh, yeah.
I'm always wondering how committed, committed like rockabilly people are i have seen people cutting
their lawn with the simpsons lawnmower like that from you know the one that's just like you push
and it has it's like wheels with like blades connecting yeah that's what i'm talking about
yeah yeah i've started i've seen i've seen more and more of that and they never look like they're
having a great time with that thing it always you were talking about time traveling were you
talking about that on the show or were you talking about that before the show on
the show no that was on the show oh wednesdays are time traveling day what does that mean
pretend to be it i think it's just a nod to like all the science fiction shows and films that have
time travel in it so it's like a day for people like that it's okay so that'd be like use that
lawnmower yeah like use or blade lawnmowers yeah however you want to interpret it man if you want to get out there and buy a shitty push lawnmower a manual lawnmower then fucking do it
yeah yeah and put on it and wear like a roll up some cigarettes in your sleeve and exactly get a
pompadour going and pretend it's 19 imaginary year yeah put on that little skull cap with a propeller
on top i like when they mix up the times.
They look like a prospector slash Danny Zuko slash.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You're wearing a prospector.
You're mixing up your genres.
Those pants are from the 1890s.
Exactly, man.
That hairstyle's from 1956.
We actually call these pants denims.
That's what the French people called them then.
Oh, man. That's taking me
straight to people finding denim in old
mines.
Taylor's oldest time. That's the dream.
They're looking at that. They like to find the
cigarettes like the Prince Albert
and they'll sometimes find a minor
cigarette from like 1940 that's half
smoked. Do they smoke it?
No, they just pick it up and go,
imagine who smoked this!
Which is like, my shit.
Smoke it, you coward!
Most of Abandoned Mine exploration is just
imagining. I mean, that's what it's all about.
It's like, imagine who used this pick! Oh my god,
it's a pick from, god, the last
person who used this had a crazy mustache!
By the way, it's not all Wednesdays are pretend to be a time traveler day
this is december 8th 2021 pretend to be a time traveler before you start to need your habits
chris oh okay yeah we acknowledge all the uh international days now at the top of our show
there's uh just another one of these trends that i don't know if this one will even make the i mean i guess
celebrity obsession will make the history books of like just embarrassing shit from late stage
capitalism when everybody had to distract themselves from oh what was happening there's a
new justin bieber branded tim hortons donut coll. And people in Canada are really into it.
There's promotional material with Bieber at Tim Horton's HQ.
This is a new trend that I've noticed in a couple places.
He is on a conference room table, sitting in the middle of the table.
He doesn't know how to do it.
He doesn't know how tables and chairs work
because he's a rebel dude that was like that reminded me of the machine gun kelly thing
where they're like yeah anybody who thinks it's not lit to work at spotify uh check this out and
he's like right doing air guitar down the middle of the conference room table do you remember in
the office the british office when david does like like motivational
corporate speaking yeah and he's like all right let's take a photo really quick and he hops on
the table and does like a burt reynolds pose and they're like just standing is fine he's like
british office fucking rules yeah extras rules too yeah yeah and yeah so people are they're also
doing the duncan thing with the merch and it's selling out and then being resold for lots of money.
Oh boy.
And, you know, McDonald's is launching Mariah Carey's Christmas menu, which they have imaginatively dubbed the Mariah menu.
Oh, I love some alliteration.
Yeah.
What the hell's on that?
but some alliteration yeah what the hell's on that is this just like her favorites and it's like stuff that's been there like that's everyone's favorites like the big mac have you heard about
this one no way the big mac the bigger who the big what now i'm sorry the hot a are they calling it
like the big mariah or something for the holidays it's so've designed it like it's an advent calendar
with a different McDonald's
item every day. I can't even
tell what some of them are, but
you got the soft-baked chocolate chip cookie,
the apple pie.
There's nothing novel about it. It's just like, okay,
you put your menu in calendar
form and then co-opted Mariah
Carey's name, which for me personally,
I refuse to believe Mariah Carey would ever
eat McDonald's.
No fucking way!
I don't eat McDonald's.
If I don't eat McDonald's, fucking Mariah Carey
has never even been near a McDonald's.
That's just how I feel.
I don't see how these two worlds combine,
but I guess for marketing
purposes, that's...
Yeah, what's another one like what would be
another non-believable cross-branding you know i mean like anyone who's been on friends i feel like
i mean fucking mcdonald's or something like papa john's menu
you probably like killed a delivery person and hid the body like one day like that's that's your
closest interaction with papa john's the rachel is now a uh pizza whenever i'm eating four dollar
garlic knots hi i'm jennifer anderson and when i go to wiener schnitzel you know i'm getting
chili cheese dog refuses to eat it on camera of course or even be even be in the same room as it
right or she's like they're doing a thing where like she's bringing it towards her mouth and then
they do a insert where it's a close-up of like clearly a dude's mouth who was like had to just
be a must she wasn't gonna eat it right right right but like putting like a nice
manicure on the hand we're like y'all come on now we all know that's why i'm curious to see
if this resonates because i think with bieber like you appeal to younger kids younger kids
sure they're they're still eating junk food have less money but like all their clothes are made by
dunkin donuts exactly or you know thrifted or
fast fashion but i just don't mariah look i get it mariah carey for dollar general
whenever i'm a dollar general right what is dollar general i feel like it's a lame observation to be like celebrities are our modern day like Greek gods.
But they're like that's something I've always just like kind of thought was true.
And there's this article, this New York article about somebody who like basically documents dreams and has been documenting dreams like during the pandemic to see what they're if they're like shared things and all the stuff you would expect is pretty much there like like what you would expect a pandemic dream to be like
but they said that like it's known among dream like people who pay attention to and analyze dreams
that like celebrities are officially like filling the purpose that gods did in ancient Greece, like that because they were keeping track of their dreams back then.
And it's just like all the same dreams, but just swap in celebrities instead of like Zeus.
Oh, no.
So, yeah, that's you know, that Maria Bamford bit about Jennifer Aniston being the like the monkey that knows where the most bananas are like when
people follow celebrities because they they have access to the most bananas basically you know like
that's the same thing where it's like right and back to like i somehow ended up like you know i'm
on youtube looking for shit and i'll like run into something like you know what what nichi said
you know like some four minute video where it's like do you want to know
what nichi is so you can say it at a dinner party which i've never been to a dinner party but uh
okay we're all aspiring a whole different lifestyle oh i love that guy's youtube videos he's the best
that's so that's so sad that that's so sad that he passed away he was one of my favorite edm djs who nichey yeah that's spelled like n e c h e e
uh uh well actually that's too many e's they would have less vowels the nichey anyway just
nichey the whole god is dead thing like how you know that period when he was talking about it
was it seems like a long time ago but you know it's not a long time ago it's like 200 years ago
which you know big picture it's no time so just the idea that without his point being god is dead and then culture is going
to go bananas because you know he's like he was talking about the secular secularization that was
going on then right and and that was like nothing compared to now you know so it's like people really
need to have something to do or to believe in i mean otherwise you just mill around and that's
what we're in right now in america is just this point where people are like or to believe in. I mean, otherwise you just mill around. And that's what we're in right now in America is just this point where people are like,
don't believe in the government.
They don't really believe in fucking anything right now.
And it's a dangerous period.
And that's where these fascists come in and say, I'll tell you what to believe in.
We just need someone to yell at everybody to get people in line.
You know, I'll be your new God.
And that's what trump filled i feel like that
like that was the thing that that revelation that like psychologically that's where celebrities are
they are like the modern day gods like that made me what less like surprised but like more certain
that that is like celebrities role at the center of our culture is probably headed for a fall.
And like it starts it starts making sense of the like why the president at like from 2016 to 2020 was like live tweeting the Oscars and just like shitting on everybody because, you know, like he's positioning himself as the anti like, you know, Hollywood celebrity.
positioning himself as the anti like you know hollywood celebrity i don't know if it's on purpose or because they don't like him but it works the same you know yeah yeah he sees them
as his comp his only competition right right yeah well yeah yeah that's uh that's uh it's a bummer
i just remember this the one i remember one of my first like interactions with nichi was in my like
lutheran elementary school like on a field trip one of the teachers wore a shirt that had a quote
it said on the front it said god is dead and then it says it's subscribed to nichi and then on the
back it says nichi is dead god boom okay holy shit and i remember asking my dad i was like what is that he said who had that
like he was mr so that sounds like critical race theory to me he's like that dude
he's like have you seen how much he sweats playing that acoustic guitar he's not getting it
why did you just say did you just say he's not getting it in? No, no.
Definitely not. You didn't say that?
Very crude description.
Is that what you said, though?
Yes, it is.
Okay, because I don't know.
So is that the new slang for like not getting it in?
Is that what it means, not getting laid?
Yeah, just, you know, getting, you know what I'm saying?
Getting whatever.
Yeah, but getting it in has a different connotation.
I got it.
Okay, so because I was over at my friend's Thanksgiving, and they have kids, and they were talking about now kids say that if no one ever admits they're dating anybody, they just say they're talking to them.
Did you know that?
Yeah.
Like, they just say, we've been talking for three months, and that means fucking.
Yeah. Like, that just say we've been talking for three months and that means fucking. Yeah.
Like, that's what kids say.
And it was girls talking to me, like young, you know, teenage girls just complaining, like my friend's daughters.
And they were like, yeah, like these guys are just using it as a they won't they just say talking.
They want to say talking because it gives them an out, basically.
You know, it's just like I wasn't just talking.
Right.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, we're not. They were. It's like they're like it's basically like i wasn't you were just talking right yeah like well yeah
we're not they were it's like they're like it's basically an idea men came up with so they just
couldn't wouldn't have to commit to having a girlfriend yeah so you even in high school now
people are trying to be players right i mean i remember when i was growing up yep if you got
late in high school you thank jesus And you asked that woman to marry you.
And she went to college and forgot about you like a normal.
I feel like every generation has their own like euphemism.
But talking is like really that's like very impersonal when you're.
Well, yeah, because I feel like that even because I feel like when I was in college sort of really began like the earnest push to like completely obscure what kind of relationship you were in you'd be like nah nah nah we just nah we just kind of
seeing each other like that's your fucking girlfriend right right and you're like nah
nah nah we just seeing each other she's pregnant and we are uh codependent in a very unhealthy way
it's like okay bull but i think that was just me to convince myself I wasn't about to be my parents. I was amazed.
Like,
yeah.
Like do you Marcy take what's his name to talk to for all eternity?
I mean,
you know,
I don't know.
I just,
I was surprised by that.
I didn't know.
I mean,
of course it makes sense.
I mean,
as opposed to our model didn't work either,
which was fall in love with your high school girlfriend and say,
you're going to get married and stay together forever.
Yeah.
Until she has a nervous breakdown.
Which is also madness.
Which is also complete madness.
There you go.
And then you call her at college.
Yeah.
And some guy answers the phone.
Yeah.
That's what the greatest song of all time.
And she says it's just your friend.
Yeah.
But then you call a bunch of times.
Yeah.
He keeps answering the phone and then you start to sweat.
Right.
Mm hmm.
And that you is me.
I prefer just making whoopee.
That's that's the the term that I prefer.
Oh, you.
You know, another another field trip thing we got in trouble for my boy, Nick.
He wore a hat from Macon, Georgia. That was spelled like m-a-c-o-n like macon georgia and it said macon whoopie
wow and i remember yo the the fucking lutherans trip the fuck out at the mark taper theater when
we went to go see huckleberry finn or some shit anyway i had uh you were raised lutheran miles
no no i was just like the cheapest school
That my parents could afford
In North Hollywood at the time
That sounds like hardcore Lutheran, I think
Oh, no, no, it was like
I definitely, I learned the ways of the church
But like in a very like outside way
I'm like, okay, I'm not too invested in this
But interesting, interesting to see
Miles still wears a hair shirt underneath his
Outer t-shirt for our recording.
He doesn't feel comfortable or creative.
I feel like people barely ever mention hair shirts on podcasts anymore.
It's about time we changed that.
Hair shirt!
Yeah.
Chris, such a pleasure having you, man, as always.
Where can people find you and follow you?
Thank you.
I had so much fun.
I love being on the show.
And you can find me on at the Crofton show on Twitter and on Instagram.
You can listen to my podcast.
Cold brew got me like with my brother, Greg, me and him do it on Twitch.
But really, it's mostly consumed by people on Spotify.
We put up like an audio podcast.
So cold brew got me like on all the
platforms that podcasts are on. And then mainly, um, please go pre-order my book on the advice
King anthology, which I am proud to promote because I just dig it. I think it's a great book
and it's a lot of laughs and some serious shit too. And you can get it right now for 40% off at
the Vanderbilt university press website
which i've heard is kind of an antique website so good luck but the discount code is 15 pre
15 pre for 40 off and um yeah it's always great to be on the show yeah so i can go go support
chris with some book purchase i've already gotten so many pre-orders from Zeitgang.
Man, Zeitgang is like.
Even more.
Holy shit.
Let's help Chris out, baby.
We had over 50 orders on the first day, which is.
You're going number one.
Let's take this shit number one, folks.
I want to fucking be on Bill Maher just to tell him he's an idiot.
That fucking sucks.
I mean, I seriously do.
I want to be on Terry Gross.
I want to be on Terry Gross and tell her she's part of the problem.
There you go. You know what I mean? Of course I won't. I'm so happy to be on Terry Gross. I want to be on Terry Gross and tell her she's part of the problem. There you go.
You know what I mean?
Of course I won't.
I'll be like, I'm so happy to be here.
Edge Lord and author Chris Crofton.
Of course, once you get in there, you're like getting nervous and you're like, I love you, Terry Gross.
I think you're the greatest thing that ever happened to the audio medium.
Terry Gross, I'd like to just thank you for, I don't know.
I don't even know who you are, but I love you.
Truly a breath of fresh air.
I am in love with everybody here.
My phone just updated me that from Wired, that Fisher Price phone you. Truly a breath of fresh air. I am in love with everybody here.
My phone just updated me that from Wired,
that Fisher Price phone you had as a kid,
now you can call your friends on it.
So, you know, it thinks I want to know.
Chris, is there a tweet you've been enjoying?
First of all, anything Blair Saki tweets.
I love Blair Saki's tweets. They're always fucking good.
She did that one where she said at Thanksgiving, if your uncle asks you why you aren't married, ask her why he was in jail for wire fraud or whatever.
So the tweet I like is by someone named Miss Monday M, also known as Monday Morning.
And she said, rest in peace, velociraptors, you would have loved nitro cold brew.
True words never spoken.
And she only has 354 followers.
Damn, go follow Miss Monday Morning.
Someone go help out Miss Monday M.
She's driving science.
The audacity to have such imagination with such a low follower count.
It's impossible.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
This is an undervalued property.
Go get in.
You have a book coming out?
Self-published or?
How do you spell that, Vanderbilt?
Yeah, Vanderbilt.
Oh, and you set up a little webpage to try and convince people that it's real nice
no that's great yeah that's cool that's nice so you where are you gonna get that goes to like what
what where's the money go to you're like you know like to get like a charity or something
miles where can people find you what's a tweet you've been enjoying twitter instagram miles of
gray at miles of gray also the other show 42020 Day Fiance, where Sophia Alexander and I talk 90 days.
It's going to be wonderful.
And also, tomorrow, Thursday, December 9th, I will be doing a live show for Will You Accept This Rose?
With Arden Marine and people like Gareth Reynolds, Padgett Brewster, Carl Tartt, Ina Hosnier.
Fucking who? Everybody's going to be on it.
Ina Hosnier production.
Yes, 100%. Come through for that. Check Fucking who? Everybody's going to be on it. Ina Hosnier production. Yes, 100%.
Come through for that.
Check that out.
It's going to be fantastic.
You can get tickets on Moment House or just check out anybody's profile.
We'll be retweeting promo stuff for that.
Some tweets that I like.
First one is just about that weird cube that they found on the moon.
We didn't talk about it, but maybe we'll talk about it on Trends.
We'll talk about it on yesterday's Trend because we are time travelers time traveling so this is this is from
at heber old h-e-a-b-e-r-a-l-d summer tweeted i hope the cube on the moon is something really
scary that changes the trajectory of all of our lives i yeah i thought that we could use something
like that like an ozymandiasias type shakeup in our world.
The next one is from AtTheHype with Four Wise.
This one said, you want me to drink water?
The thing that killed Jack in Titanic?
And along with that construction, Jay Zucks tweeted, you want me to go to a dinner party?
The thing that killed Jesus?
That's funny stuff.
That was mine, too, because I'm going to actually use
that to get out of dinner parties.
You know, this killed
Jesus, right? When you're there.
I'm not participating. I can't wait
until this book takes off so I can get invited to dinner
parties. Hell yeah.
Pass the stew, Mary.
Wow, you've already
got it down. what kind of fucking dinner
party is this you're not even being served you're eating fucking stew from a i've been an alcoholic
my whole life i never was an alcoholic for so long i missed every dinner party i mean you know
it's like dinner party i'm a poet see See you guys later. At Skanks17
tweeted, I dumped my girlfriend in
8th grade and by the end of the day she was
dating someone else. Yesterday she
married him. A little much to get
my attention, don't you think? Move on
babe.
That's funny.
Yeah. You can find
me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien.
You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeitge'brien you can find us on twitter at daily
zeitgeist we're at the daily zeitgeist on
instagram we have a facebook fan page and a website
dailyzeitgeist.com where we
post our episodes and our footnotes
where we link off to
the information that we talked about in today's
episode as well as a song that we think
you might enjoy miles
what song do you think people might enjoy
this is a track by the
rapper sideshow who
i just started you know listening to and i caught my attention because he was spitting this next
track that's called if i need i take over the gangsta instrumental for skills uh if you remember
that track really i love that instrumental shout out to dj from here but yeah this is sideshow with if i need
i take and it's just nice to kind of see i i don't mind when like new rappers kind of use just these
like legendary instrumentals to kind of give us some new something so you did it well sideshow i
like it so yeah check this one out all right well go check that out the daily zeitgeist is a
production of iheart radio for more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
That's going to do it for us this
morning, but we're back this afternoon to tell
you what's trending. We will talk to you all then.
Bye. Bye. Thank you.
I'm
Kerry Champion, and this is Season 4
of Naked Sports. Up first, I
explore the making of a rivalry.
Kaitlyn Clark versus Angel Reese. Every great player needs a foil. I know I'll go down in
history. People are talking about women's basketball just because of one single game.
Clark and Reese have changed the way we consume women's sports. Listen to the making of a rivalry.
Kaitlyn Clark versus Angel Reese on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons?
Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.
Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising,
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Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals.
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New episodes every Thursday.
In California during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles,
two women did something no other woman had done before,
try to assassinate the president of the United States.
One was the protege of Charles Manson.
26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nickname Squeaky.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer
this season on the new podcast, Rip Current.
Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free
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Captain's Log, Stardate 2024.
We're floating somewhere in the cosmos,
but we've lost our map.
Yeah, because you refuse to ask for directions.
It's Space Gem. There are no roads.
Good point. So where are we headed?
Into the unknown, of course.
Join us on In Our Own World as we uncover hidden truths,
navigate the depths of culture, identity, and the human spirit.
With a hint of mischief.
One episode at a time.
Buckle up and listen to In Our Own World on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Trust us, it's out of this world.