The Daily Zeitgeist - The Dark Zeit Rises 1/8: Harry & Meghan, Grimes, Lyme Disease, Oscars, College Humor
Episode Date: January 8, 2020On this edition of The Dark Zeit Rises Miles and Jamie discuss Harry & Meghan leaving the Royal Family, Grimes is gregnant, Justin Bieber has Lyme disease, the Oscars have no host this year, and C...ollege Humor has its doors closed. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years.
I have a proposal for you.
Come up here and document my project.
All you need to do is record everything like you always do.
What was that?
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
Can Kay trust her sister or is history repeating itself?
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
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How do you feel about biscuits?
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It's right here in black and white and prints. It's bigger than a flag or mascot.
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Hi, I am Lacey Lamar.
And I'm also Lacey Lamar.
Just kidding, I'm Amber Revin.
What?
Okay, everybody,
we have exciting news to share.
We're back with season two
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Just listen, okay?
Or Lacey gets it.
Do it.
Ooh, spooky time.
What?
It's the time for... Hello?
The Dark Sight Rises.
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Hi, it's me, Miles Gray,
and I'm joined by...
Judge?
Judge Jamie Loftus. Judge Jamie Loftus.
Yes, thank you so much for joining me, Judge Jamie.
Hey, you're welcome.
And we're here to bring you, you know, just kind of seeing what's trending as of right now.
Yes.
You know, because there's so much news.
By the time other shows come out, it's like, what was the point?
People are complaining.
The culture's going crazy.
Gosh, the culture.
Oh, it's out of control.
The culture's losing it. Now, the culture. It's out of control. The culture's losing it.
Now, what's trending?
First up, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
They're out.
I don't know what this means.
They're saying they're moved to, quote, step back as senior members of the royal family.
Well, I think this is smart.
Personally, I mean, I think that they're doing.
So basically, they're just like, we're not going to play ball with the Roa family.
They said they're going to be back and forth between North America, which is needlessly
broad, but whatever.
I guess, I mean, she knows Canada.
I feel like it would look weird if they're like, the UK and the US.
I don't know.
Who cares about how they worded that?
Maybe they couch it.
But like, yeah, I think...
And this means that Megan can continue to work
as an actor if she wants to.
Which is kind of nice. Also,
Harry was never going to inherit the throne.
Yeah, he knows. Like 500 people
had to die for him to inherit. So he's like,
well, fuck it. Might as well have a life. He's like, you think I'm going to
club my nieces and nephews? No.
And he's like, I've thought about it. I've thought about it.
And I decided it's not. And now there's too many of them.
Yeah. Ask me if I thought about it. Yes. But would I do it? No. He's like, okay, if they only had one, I I thought about it. I thought about it. And I decided it's not. And now there's too many of them. Yeah, ask me if I thought about it.
Yes.
But would I do it?
No.
He's like, okay, if they only had one, I would think about it.
Yeah, I mean, we're kindred spirits because we're born the exact same day.
I keep saying this.
So now I'm telling you I'm going to manifest this.
I will be smoking weed with Prince Harry within 18 months.
That's a bold timeline.
But you got to set bold. He might be around. He is definitely going to be around. That's okay. That's a bold timeline. But you gotta set bold.
He might be around.
He is definitely gonna be around.
He's gonna be around.
I'm gonna see him at the Calabasas Commons
or wherever he's at in the Valley
or maybe on Hollywood Boulevard,
maybe in front of Mann's Chinese Theater
if that's something he's into.
Do you think people who are born on the exact same day,
they should meet each other, right?
They should.
They should.
I'm born the exact same day as Francis Bean Cobain. You are? Yeah. Francis Bean loved Cobain? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we should meet each other right they should they should i'm born the exact same day as francis bean cobain you are yeah francis bean love cobain yeah wow yeah we should meet that's funny i have
uh one of my really good best friends uh had the exact same day as one of our same birthday as one
of my roommates introduced them and they get along swimmingly oh i thought you said they got married
and they got married well wow big narcissist but. Wow. Kind of a big narcissist.
But I like that in their statement, they were saying, after many months of reflection, internal discussions, we have chosen to make the transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution.
We intend to step back as senior members, blah, blah, blah, and work to become financially independent.
Good key line there.
Yeah.
I like, I mean, that just means that what they, I don't know what the royal rules are,
but they can make their own money.
They don't need to like be tied to however.
But it's sort of like, don't worry, we'll still do like the formal shit when we got to
and like baby will know he's baby royal.
We'll dress up.
We'll dress up.
We'll do the dress ups.
They're not, they've never been adverse to fashion moments.
They'll continue to deliver on that front.
I'm sure.
I mean, also, I think just like the way the media out there has been treating her and has been.
Yeah.
Why would you want to stay there?
Also, though, I mean, it seems like there might be a little bit of back and forth here because I don't know.
I mean, I wonder how much permission they got before they released this, because Buckingham Palace also released a statement saying, quote,
Fine, then go.
Okay, bitch.
Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage.
We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.
So like a little bit of shade from Buckingham Palace.
Oh, wow. It's like saying, I'm going to get a lip ring.
The queen is like, you think you're getting a lip ring.
Exactly.
Like, well, I didn't give you permission.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, what does this mean for the suits hive?
I know.
What does this mean?
Do we get a guest appearance or not?
What does this mean for the royal hive?
What does this mean?
You know what I mean?
I mean, I don't know.
Which hive do you care about more?
Someone was, Sophie was-
Literally, what hive do I care about?
The state of our actual beehives.
Because bees are dying at an alarming rate.
It's a true disaster.
And I think if we're going to concern ourselves with any hive, it's our beehives.
You really brought the mood down.
They're pollinators.
What about Babu Freak Hive?
Babu Freak Hive. Hey, Freak Hive in in the building where are my freaks at okay what else um i just like just is there news about grimes
jamie miles grimes is gregnant no grimes isonette? She's a pre-gangonette. She's pre-gang seenette? She's pre-gat.
Oh my
Wait, with legitimately
Elon Musk's baby?
Elon Musk's child?
This news just came through but she posted
to her Instagram. She got a bump.
She did a funny edit
on it to put a little alien in her
stomach because it's Grimes and even though
she's bearing the child of evil she's still kind of funny sometimes.
So, yeah, she's having, as of right now, it would seem that she's having, she's pregnant
with-
Little musker.
Greg Musks.
Yeah.
With Greg Musks' Greg.
Do you think, how-
What, I mean, the letdown of the century is Grimes turning on us like that.
Yeah, but hey, you know, but maybe that's just sometimes we find out who people actually are, not who we want them to be.
A spaceship musk.
I know.
Coming to you.
She couldn't resist his space musk.
She couldn't resist a space.
And now she'll never be free.
I was hoping that Grimes would get free and then she would write a great book and we would all be like, oh, that was scary for a while there. Right, right, right. But now she'll never be free. I was hoping that Grimes would get free and then she would write a great book and we would all be like, oh, that was
scary for a while there. Right, right, right. But now she'll
never be free.
Well, you know, much luck to them.
Well, congrats on your
pregnancy, Grimes. Yeah, yeah.
Pregnancies are always celebrated here.
Pregnancies are beautiful. What else?
Lyme disease is trending.
Because the twist. Justin
Bieber said that he goes, I know, like, it was some shit that people have been
saying, like, I look like shit.
It literally said in this post, quote, his Instagram post, while a lot of people kept
saying Justin Bieber looks like shit on meth, et cetera, they failed to realize I've been
recently diagnosed with Lyme disease.
Not only that, but had serious case of chronic mono, which affected my skin, brain function, energy, and overall health.
Wow, wow, wow.
And he said he has a docu-series coming out to explain all this.
That's the part of the story that I'm like, oh, and at the end, he's battling a life-threatening disease, and it's a commercial.
I love 2020.
2020.
And it's a commercial.
I love 2020.
2020.
2020.
I mean, it could be that it's just like a legit, I don't know.
Who knows? I mean, obviously, no one wants to battle Lyme disease.
Lyme disease is no joke.
That's like a, oh, God.
And he had Cronmon?
Chronic mono?
Let's give this guy some space.
I mean, my God.
Yeah.
That's so sad.
Did the looks like shit part resonate with you?
Because that sort of description of things is part of-
I was waiting for a second part to come.
Like can't read and looks like shit?
Yeah.
He's like, oh, everyone's been saying I look like shit and I can't read.
And I am here to announce I have accepted the role of Dan Santa in the upcoming theatrical-
Santa University.
I'm no longer singing.
Best wishes to him.
I have an aunt that has Lyme
disease and it is no joke. It is tough.
Isn't it hard to
what's
the word? Treat? The treatment options
are very limited. Well, it's very hard to diagnose.
It takes forever to diagnose.
Oh, because people think it's a million and one other things.
And there's a lot of
theory that I can't
speak to, but I have a dear friend with Lyme disease who has done stand-up about it.
And it's basically a disease that was manufactured as a weapon of war, and so it's really hard to get it diagnosed because then you have to admit that it exists.
Wow.
It's a weird, complicated thing that I hope I didn't butcher the facts of.
Yeah.
But something like that.
I just learned about it from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Because Yolanda Foster.
Oh, does she have lime?
She says in her Dutch accent.
Lime is tough.
It's treatable, but it's tough.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I guess he's saying he you know, he's going to have tour.
He's going to have a tour, I guess, also, that him and Haley are going to start.
They're going to get Greg Nant, too.
They're going to get Greg Ann and Ant.
You know, I like Justin and Haley.
That's my hot take.
They seem happy.
I just don't care anymore.
Like, I don't have the energy to hate Justin Bieber.
No, it's people have been demanding that we hate Justin Bieber for, like, 12 years.
I think I'm living in a post-hate world.
Wow.
Beautiful.
The only thing I hate is IHOP.
Okay.
Sorry.
Said it.
Goodbye.
Sorry.
Just kissed that endorsement deal.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
And that was a big check, too.
Would have been 200 bucks and a free-
Before or after taxes?
Before.
So we'll call that about $80.
Oh, the things I've done for $200 before taxes
would shock you. Oh boy, yeah.
No, I won't. I've lived here too.
With very little options for
income. What else?
It's a no-host year for the Oscars
also, this is true? Again, yeah, that
broke a couple hours ago.
Oh, that's old news, huh?
Oscar tweeted, they're like, celebrities, check.
The stars, check.
Prestige, check.
Host, rant.
Uh-oh.
So whatever.
I don't care.
Whatever.
I mean, I think they should.
Someone was tweeting, let Hasan Minhaj do it.
I'm like, yeah, that'd be great.
Yeah, I don't care.
Why not?
I don't know.
Have someone do it. If you want to do it, give it to someone'm like, yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, I don't care. Why not? I don't know. Have someone do it.
If you want to do it, give it to someone who is not a cishet white man.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
I don't know.
Did you watch the documentary, the Kevin Hart docuseries?
For some reason, I watched every second of it.
The one on Netflix?
Yeah.
Is that Netflix?
It's Netflix, yeah.
Yeah, no, I have not.
It's weird.
I mean, it's weird, but you're just like, huh.
It's a docuseries that'll make you go, huh?
Huh.
Things that make you go, huh?
He really did cheat on his wife, didn't he?
Huh.
Oh.
That'll make you think.
He really did kill his friend on a plane.
His apology was terrible.
Yeah.
That was a...
It could have happened.
He could have just been like, I'm sorry.
And then he was like, I...
Babu Frick would have never handled a situation like that.
Why not let Babu...
Give Babu Frick a shot at it. Babu Frick should host with Baby Yoda. I like, I... Babu Frick would have never handled a situation like that. Why not let Babu... Give Babu Frick a shot at it.
Babu Frick should host with Baby Yoda.
I mean, honestly...
You're welcome, ABC, Disney.
That sounds like something that they would do.
You know already there's going to be a cameo from Babu Frick or Baby Yoda.
You know, I love...
It'd be wasted.
I know that everyone thinks it's corny as hell,
but whenever a cartoon walks out on the award show stage, I cheer.
Yeah.
When Shrek was at the Oscars, I'd cheer.
The Simpsons are at the Emmys, I'd cheer.
Who was the last animated person to show up at the Oscars?
Was it Shrek?
It might be a Shrek.
Oh, my God.
I mean, I have no choice but to cheer.
People love it.
How many more years must go by until Babu Frick can set foot on that stage?
I wonder if Babu Frick has staying power.
I wonder.
Because Baby Yoda, I feel like, already secured in the zeitgeist forever.
Absolutely cemented.
I mean, I think that maybe it might be a flash in the pan.
With our influence and our outsized celebrity.
We just can't calm it down.
We can get the Babu Frick movement at a fever pitch.
Don't let the hive settle.
Okay.
And lastly, rest in peace to College Humor.
I know.
College Humor Media, basically Sam Reich, who I believe was running it forever, basically
said that IAC, the parent company, said that they are no longer financing the company,
funding it.
And about 100, over 100 people
pretty much lost their jobs like that.
Which, been there.
Yeah, right?
It's like same old song.
Have you ever been in a layoff like that?
Well, when I worked for this YouTube show,
we felt it coming.
Okay.
Yeah, and it was like an unceremonious unplugging
of the entire production.
I got a
sudden layout i i had one in 2018 oh it just it's like it comes for us all and then i left uh play
boy before the heads rolled there boom oh my head also rolled there but oh yeah did you did you take
video too from uh that meeting when they're like hey sorry like everyone's fired no no there was a
meeting where yeah apparently like it was a really lame way to tell people
that the cuts are incoming.
No, I got magazine cuts.
I didn't get media cuts.
Oh, yeah.
Well, the additional took a big bite of the apple there.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, yeah, I mean,
they were pretty much one of the last ones standing.
I know.
I mean, they had a good run.
If you're like a fan,
there's,
I've got some friends
that were still working there.
Yeah,
I know some people
that are working there.
Some people who started there,
like people who I know in LA
who College Humor
are the reason they're
in Los Angeles.
Totally.
From New York.
Yeah.
They've moved on,
I believe.
And you know,
some are still there,
but yeah.
Yeah,
Rekha Shankar and Tao Yang.
Keep an eye on them.
Yeah,
hate to see it. Yeah. All right. Well, Rekha Shankar and Tao Yang, keep an eye on them. Yeah, hate to see it.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thanks for sticking around for, I guess not for, with us.
We have.
But sticking around for us because we look at all the metrics and we know who respects us and who doesn't.
And when you're mean, we cry.
Yeah, exactly.
But I'm actually, I think, I just do want to be really honest.
After we get off mic, I am going to need some time to process this pregnancy, this Grimes
pregnancy.
The Grimes pregnancy.
I mean, unfortunately, I'm going to be following this pregnancy very carefully.
I may as well be in the womb.
You should get that app.
I may as well be there with her.
Yeah.
You should get that app, you know, where people who are pregnant, it updates you every like
stage.
It's like now it's a little acorn.
I hate that app.
And now it's an eggplant.
My cousin,
my cousin is very pregnant
right now
and she texted me
and she was like
the Greg is the size
of a Furby.
You're like,
ugh.
They tell you
it's the size of a Furby.
Ugh.
Furby.
Me Coco.
Ah.
You me mommy.
Me Coco.
I was like,
oh yeah,
you got a little Furby
humming in there.
Yeah.
Yum, yum.
With it's weird beak. Ugh. Could you imagine if you gave get a little Furby humming in there. Yeah. Yum, yum. With its weird beak.
Could you imagine if you gave birth to a Furby?
Like, legit.
Of course, I have that dream every night.
Yeah, it's a dream.
It's not a nightmare.
Yeah, no.
It's my Furby.
It's a dream.
Wow, it's so manageable.
And what do you want to name it, miss?
Fabu Frick.
Greg.
You give birth to a Furby and then you go,
Oh my God, this is breathtaking.
This is groundbreaking news.
The name is Greg.
Greg.
Okay.
All hail Greg.
Thank you guys.
We'll see you tomorrow on Daily Zeitgeist.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years. I have a proposal for you. itself. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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