The Daily Zeitgeist - The DEA Drug Slang Glossary, What Trump’s Like In Private 4.20.18
Episode Date: April 20, 2018In episode 131, Jack & Miles are joined by comedian Josh Androsky to discuss 420, the Southwest Airlines pilot who landed the disastrous flight, the DEA's official drug slang list, how the Comey m...emos show how annoying Trump is to hang out with, the Democratic Party filing a lawsuit against the Trump campaign over Russia collusion, Chuck Schumer to introduce bill to decriminalize weed, bloidwatch, & so much more! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you stream podcasts. Hello, the internet, and welcome to season 27, episode 5 of Daily Zeitgeist.
Yeah.
For April 20th, 2018, it's Hitler's birthday.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, and also 420.
My name is Jack O'Brien, a.k.a.
Nark Wahlberg.
I'm the only not-high person in the studio.
And I am thrilled to be joined, as always, by my co-host, Mr. Miles Gray.
Last dance with Miles of Gray.
One more time to kill the pain.
Hell yeah, daddy.
This is by Tom Petty, a.k.a. me, Mr. Miles Petty.
Yeah, thank you so much to, I think, Genius.
Certified Genius on Twitter for that
AKA on this lovely holiday
And Jack can I just ask you
Straight up do you hate me?
Oh no
I just want to make sure
Anyway
Yes
It's 420 guys
Welcome to the show it's a very special day
Also the anniversary of the swamp rabbit incident when Jimmy Carter was fishing and
an enraged rabbit came after him and tried to attack his boat 39 years ago.
Yeah, we all remember that.
Brought to our attention by Alana Mahler.
Yeah, I don't know.
What?
A swamp rabbit?
Yeah, a rabbit.
He was fishing in a lake in Georgia and a rabbit just came at him and started attacking his boat,
and he had to beat it off with an oar,
which really seems like the sort of thing that would happen while you're high, I think.
Yeah, or a story you'd make up.
Right.
You're like, oh, man, this swamp rabbit came at me.
There is an actual photograph of the event, so look that up.
We are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by the hilarious comedian,
the skateboarding rabbi himself, Mr. Josh Androsky.
Hooba Stank.
Hooba, hooba, hooba stank.
What's up?
Great catchphrase.
Yeah.
Hooba, hooba, hooba stank.
Hooba, hooba, hooba stank.
I am so high right now. Yeah. Hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba, hooba I was in the bathroom, took way too long in the bathroom. There's a laundry going on in your bathroom.
So it's like uncomfortable to like sit on the toilet there because you feel like you're in the middle of someone's living room.
Well, hey, it's fine.
It was great.
Yeah.
I'm too high and I'm ready to fucking get weird.
Yeah.
Let's talk.
Hell yeah, dude.
Josh, you are just I made reference to skateboarding rabbi.
You once were on the Price is Right on Mushrooms, correct?
Yes.
Yes.
Your honor.
And that's cool to you?
On the evening of, no, and people can look that up on YouTube.
It's amazing.
Well, what happens when you get 20 comedians to all do mushrooms is that one of them is guaranteed to be on this
american life and 20 comedians all do mushrooms together right uh there you go yeah i told drew
carrie i was a skateboarding rabbi yeah on television and then they cut out a bunch of parts
uh and then i said the highest thing that's ever been said before on TV in that moment.
What'd you say?
So, like, long story short, I was kind of blacked out.
And I just looked at Drew Carey and he, like, put the microphone in front of my face right after I had spun the wheel.
And he's like, is there anyone you want to say hello to?
And I said, I just want to say hi to everybody who loves music.
And that is on television.
That's the highest thing I think that's ever been said on premium network,
or not premium, but network television.
Yes, almost definitely.
Josh, what's something from your search history that is revealing about who you are at this moment?
I would say you can always know what my mental state is, how depressed I am by how much British antiques roadshow I'm watching to try to turn my brain off to politics.
Because it's just the calmest, nicest show.
Like they have shit, like no joke in one episode,
it was like, here's the very sword
that Cornwallis surrendered to the Americans
to end the occupation of America
and start the independence of the United States of America.
It is worth the number you cannot put on it.
And the person who sorted it was like,
when the person appraised it as worth like,
you know,
Priceless.
$50 zillion or whatever,
the response was,
oh, well, isn't that a tickle?
Wow.
That's lovely.
If you want the smallest mood,
if you just want to have a tiny mood,
watch UK A Little Tiny Time.
What is something you think is underrated?
Getting too high.
Getting too high.
And having a panic attack.
People really fucking sleep on that.
Because it's a thing that people complain about.
It's like, oh, I get too high.
I get anxiety.
I have a panic attack.
But how else are you going to be forced by your own brain to confront every problem you're currently running away from
right you know what i mean yeah interesting yeah i think some people yeah like can get anxiety i
think for sure that's some of the times when people say oh man mushrooms are so great sometimes
when you really have a bad trip it really is because you're like man i'm really fucking up
i could be helping my mom out exactly exactly and you're like wow okay that was a terrible eight hours right but you know what mom
i will take out the trash and i'm not gonna say fuck you as i do it right yeah yeah i i do feel
like i've been running away from the fact that i don't know what to do with my hands uh my whole
life and getting too high has always helped me confront that fear.
What is something that you think is overrated? I think the current legalization process of weed
is overrated because- Med men and such. We talked about this earlier this week.
Basically just that John Boehner is making millions of dollars doing the thing that a bunch of people of color are currently in prison for.
Right.
You know, that that's okay is overrated.
I would say people are just sort of being like, yeah, legalize it, and then not looking at the systems of power that are now.
Right, right, right. Which is like VCs up in Silicon Valley, like tech millionaires and billionaires.
Right, venture capitalists.
And fucking tobacco companies.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Huzzah.
There you go.
Well, I think, yeah, too.
What's good are some of the bills that people are putting.
In certain states, they're expunging people's records and letting people out of prison.
I think that's really the thing that has to happen simultaneously for,
you know,
the legalization thing to really be a,
a really dope thing for the country and,
you know,
the people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But John Banner needs a break.
I think we can all agree.
I mean,
come on.
I mean,
good things need to happen.
He's been getting high.
You could tell.
He just looks like a,
I mean,
the way he smokes cigarettes,
I can always see him also being like,
I smoke a little.
I know somebody who golfed with him and said he smoked a cigarette on every hole that wasn't a par three,
which is a lot of cigarettes.
Jesus.
To burn through.
Hey, baby.
That's how you look young.
Exactly.
Yeah, you get those vaunted Boehner looks.
And finally, Josh, what is a myth?
What's something people think is true that you know to be false?
That your material life will be affected in any way by the James Comey, Mueller investigation, Russia, FBI, blah, blah, blah.
Right.
You just think it's-
I feel like Jack and I have been saying the exact same thing a few times now.
That's tight.
We're having that best friend thing.
Jack and I have been saying the exact same thing a few times now.
That's tight.
We're having that best friend thing.
You feel like it's kind of we're overrating it by living and dying with every sort of little drip and drab of information.
Because fundamentally, your material conditions, your bank account and your electric bill and your health insurance, like the things that dominate your everyday life will not change at all.
Right.
Based on this.
So don't fucking stress about it so much.
Yeah.
It's not like,
it's not like Mueller's investigating income inequality.
Right.
Maybe get upset about that.
Yeah.
Robert Mueller.
It's like,
actually,
you know what?
Shit's like really unfair.
That'd be so funny.
If he just keeps investigating other things.
It's like, why do bad things happen to good people?
Mueller's on the case.
He's like, how do I know?
What about the prison industrial complex?
Do you ever think about that?
What am I even trying to indict these people into?
Do I think Michael Cohen's going to be a better person after this experience?
Am I the destroyer? Do I think Michael Cohen's going to be a better person after this experience? Am I the destroyer?
Do I think Michael Cohen's going to be better?
Oh, that's amazing.
I love stoned Mueller.
That's great.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I definitely find myself overly concerned with the investigation and being like, well, if he fires him, then we're all going to start an armed insurrection.
Am I right?
And that's probably not a rational way to think about things.
At the same time, you know, we don't want to get too complacent with this administration.
But I think there are ways to, you know, reject complacency.
you know reject complacency well at the same time not putting all our eggs in the basket of we're gonna find a picture of trump and putin 69ing each other right exactly because we're
not gonna find that picture anywhere but on like bill maher's twitter feed right because
he would photoshop that right and be like Like, I don't know. Just the smarmiest.
Just, I don't know.
Yeah.
All right, let's get into the news of the day.
This is actually a story that we kind of neglected earlier this week,
but that I've been quite taken with for the past few days.
I just got British on everybody.
I've been quite taken with for the past few days.
I just got British on everybody.
But so that Southwest flight in which part of the engine exploded,
that flew back and like crashed into a window, which led to somebody being partially sucked out of the plane.
Oh, what?
Yeah.
And that person unfortunately passed away from injuries sustained during that process.
However, it could have been way, way, way worse.
And so Sully got very famous the last time something like this happened.
His plane flew through a flock of geese and got all sorts of fucked up.
People saw the movie.
Anyways, this time we have a pilot who we can actually hear how she
navigated this uh it is a woman who was the very first uh fighter pilot yeah fighter like i think
she was the first woman to even fly the fa18 right uh and a really decorated like fighter pilot so
right i think flying a southwest flight is a little uh low stress for her yeah to say the
least her name is tammy joe schultz and uh we have audio god i can't wait till she runs for
congress in illinois jesus fucking christ that's the backstory but anyways it's pretty dope she
sounds like she can barely stay awake uh during this crisis let's's listen to some audio. Yeah, we have a part of the aircraft missing, so we're going to need to slow down a bit.
Southwest 1380, speed is your discretion. Maintain any altitude above 3,000 feet.
Okay, could you have the medical maintenance there on the runway as well? We've
got injured passengers.
Injured passengers, okay. And are you, is your airplane physically on fire?
No, it's not on fire, but part of it's missing.
They said there was a hole and someone went out.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, you said there was a hole and somebody went out?
South of 1380, it doesn't matter.
We'll work it out there.
So the airport's just off to you.
Does it matter?
Jesus Christ.
I feel like a dick for laughing at that.
But the guy's just like, wait, did you just say that somebody went out of your fucking plane?
Like in the calmest, most like, and it looks like somebody went out.
Talk about nerves of steel.
And also just sounding like a librarian, like telling you the library's about to close.
Like, hi, I'm sorry.
The doors are closing in 15 minutes.
Really calmly. And doing the pilot, like,
and we're gonna
take it up to
10,000 feet, and
but yeah. I just
love the guy was like, when he was like,
wait, there's a guy coming, doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, yep. You're gonna say somebody
fell out of your plane? You know what?
Forget it. Yeah. What do you need? We need to get this plane down. What a funny thing to say doesn't matter yeah somebody fell out of your plane you know what forget it yeah what do you
need we need to get this plane down what a funny thing to say doesn't matter to because like he's
not he's clearly not a callous man you know what i mean like he's not saying like oh the loss of
human life it doesn't matter like but for the purposes of his job which is to make sure that
this airplane doesn't like explode or whatever right Right. Right. Like it doesn't matter that there's one.
Like,
okay,
I can't get hung up on that.
We have to move forward.
It's technically correct in that moment that it doesn't matter,
but wow.
What stakes.
Right.
To say doesn't matter in correct context.
Right.
He's like,
sorry,
I was getting away from myself.
Excuse me.
Because like,
she just made it seem like such a fucking
just matter of fact thing.
Part of the plane's missing.
Right.
Did you say that somebody is out of the plane?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
All right.
And then before we go to break,
we wanted to talk about,
we learned some new slang yesterday.
Yeah, the shins.
The shins, baby.
Exactly.
We learned some new slang. All the, the shins. The shins, baby. Exactly. We learned some new slang.
All the chords to that album.
No, the DEA's
official drug slang list
is apparently something you can
just go take a look at anytime
and it's
pretty amazing. It's like the NARC
vocab list. Right. It's so dope.
You know, it says... Stepdad101.
Yeah, this DEA intelligence
report contains information from
a variety of law enforcement and
open sources. It is designed as a
ready reference for law enforcement personnel
who are confronted by many of the hundreds
of slang terms used to identify
a wide variety of controlled substances,
designer drugs, and
synthetic compounds. It's just question marks
coming over his head.
Okay, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to read you one of these names,
and you try and tell me what drug this is.
Okay.
Oh, this is so fun.
Everyone will try.
Okay, so the first one is...
Juggler's Lament.
Is Shmagma.
Shmagma?
Yeah.
Shmagma.
Let me think of...
That feels like an upper schmagma.
No, I'm going to say heroin.
Okay, Jack.
I think I told you about this one.
Yeah, is it weed?
Yes, it's weed.
They're saying that people are calling weed schmagma somewhere.
Schmagma.
Okay, cool.
They heard four 16-year-olds say it on a walkie-talkie to each each other. And they feel like the DEA agents like the kids.
They say shmagma now.
Shmagma.
I heard them.
Okay.
How about this one?
Hamburger helper.
That's got to be something that looks like hamburger.
Like powdery, right?
Hamburger helper is powdery, right?
I don't know, man.
I just think of a glove.
I think it's when a cartoon glove comes and helps you cook.
Yeah, I mean, that is true.
Okay, which drug comes in a cartoon glove?
Yeah.
Well, you'd use plastic gloves to shove heroin up your ass.
Okay.
You want to go heroin?
Yeah.
I think heroin's a good guess.
I'm going to go heroin two in a row.
It's crack cocaine.
God damn it.
Hamburger Helper.
Yeah, Hamburger Helper, guys.
Oh, because it's like you cook it with baking soda in the kitchen.
Got it.
Oh.
Okay, how about this one?
Sweet Jesus.
I mean, that's not anything, I would imagine.
SJ?
Is there something about it being...
I feel like...
It's one of the big drugs.
It's not an obscure drug.
It's not a little drug.
This is one of the headliner drugs.
Hey, bro, just hook me up with a bag of some Sweet Jesus.
Weed?
Heroin. God damn it, the one time time the one time i don't guess heroin yeah the ones for weed are really actually out there like it's it's insane
how out of touch some of these are like one it said tweed which i think is a reference to friday
when craig's dad calls oh smoking them tweeds and he's like it's weed dad and they put in i think
someone just went i think that's a word for weed.
Right.
Then like other ones are, one is.
But weed is in the word.
Right.
Yeah, but tweed is just sort of, I don't know.
That's awful slang.
That's horrible slang.
You can't add one letter to an already existing word.
There's another one, smoochie, woochie, poochie.
You just made that up.
I did not make that up.
This is what the DEA,
this is how the DEA thinks people are talking about drugs.
It's funny because I think this means,
you know when there's a warning sign on a coffee that's like,
warning, this coffee is hot.
Don't pour a drug on your lap.
It comes from a moment when that actually happened.
Some really dumb person.
Right.
So I'm just thinking of the people that the DEA encountered
who called the drug smoochy-woochy-poochy or whatever.
Like where they're writing it down.
Yeah, they're like, oh, God, this is good.
Everyone's going to use this.
It's like, oh, what is this weed?
No, it's smoochy-woochy-poochy.
Right.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
Wait a minute.
You're not the wallet inspector.
Smoochy-woochy-pooie is I'm going to go with cocaine.
No,
that's actually weed.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah.
Did you say that earlier?
Oh,
is it Snoochie boochies?
And they thought it was Smoochie.
I have no idea.
Oh my God.
Maybe that's really what it was.
I have,
I truly have no idea.
Wait,
what is that from?
Clerks. That's what Snoochie boochies. was. I truly have no idea. Wait, what is that from? Snitches. Clerks.
That's what snitchy bitch is.
Wow.
I mean, all of this could just be stuff
that one group of friends came up with
while watching Clerks or while watching Friday,
and the cops just assumed everybody said that.
Right, or they get in a text message
where they're like, they said this or whatever,
and they're like, well, if this one person used it, that must mean we gotta throw it in the pile. Right. Or they get in a text message where they're like, they said this or whatever. And they're like, well, if this one person used it, that must mean we got to throw it in the pile.
Right.
Right.
Well, that's where 420 came from.
Like, it's so weird because you think like 420 is like the code.
You know how like 187 is like the code for like murder or whatever.
You would think, no, it was just like a bunch of teens that would meet every day after school at 420.
Right.
It was just like a bunch of teens that would meet every day after school at 420.
Right.
And to be one of those teens.
Right.
And not have a 30 for 30 about you.
Like, how dare you?
Yeah.
It didn't something.
Where was it?
Where were they?
I don't remember.
Oh, yeah.
But the fact that there isn't an oral history about that group of lunkheads that. No, there is.
Something came out recently.
Oh, really? Yeah, they got
them to get, like, they interviewed them, who I think are
probably just the most annoying middle-aged dudes now.
Right. They're probably just like, yeah, I work
for Morgan Stanley. Right.
They're the VC people who are, like, funding
the... Exactly.
Yeah, there's also probably
30 different people who
claimed that it was them who made it up.
Right. It's like the guy that
invented fantasy baseball right right is that not verifiable no i mean it is but also like
i'm sure there are a bunch of dudes that were like yeah i was there i was part of it right
and with fantasy baseball i bet it was invented by multiple people independently of each other
but 420 has to have had a single, it's too random and specific.
Right.
Yeah.
That would be an amazing film, like a mockumentary,
about two competing origin stories who are claiming the title of the people.
No, it was us.
Yeah.
All right, we're chasing them down.
That's our mission.
Hell yeah.
Here on the Daily Zodcast.
New podcast.
All right, we're going to take a quick break.
We'll be right back.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, The situation is desperate. And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
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Hey, I'm Gianna Prudente.
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We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline,
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When you're just starting out in your career,
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Girl, yes.
Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.
Think of us as your work besties you
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podcasts. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president
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mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life
in less than three weeks. President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim
of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.
I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer.
This is Rip Current.
Available now with new episodes every Thursday.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I've been thinking about you.
I want you back in my life.
It's too late for that.
I have a proposal for you.
Come up here and document
my project. All you need to do is record
everything like you always do.
One session. 24
hours.
BPM 110.
120. She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this?
We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.
So the Comey memos leaked, dropped last night, partially redacted Comey memos. is being investigated by the Department of Justice to determine whether he leaked classified information
because I guess some of the stuff in the memos that he leaked,
he was like, well, this isn't classified,
but then they subsequently made it classified.
Of course they did.
Yeah, and if there's a way for...
Yes.
Exactly.
Dude, what's with all this time travel bullshit they try and pull?
Well, because it's all fake.
Because everything's fake.
Fuck.
Because it just requires you to believe that everybody knows what they're doing. bullshit they try and pull because it's all fake right because everything's fake fuck because all
it just requires you to believe that everybody knows what they're doing yeah anyway i'm clearly
they're all making it up as they go along i digress but if there's a way for trump and
co to get at comey or you know find a way to prosecute comey they're going to do that yeah
immediately but so we read through the memos,
or at least we did. I don't know if you got a look at him, Josh.
No, no. He was watching Antiques Roadshow.
Yeah. It's a lot of awkward moments and bizarre claims from Trump that are just piling up.
He assures Comey that the P-Tape story about hiring Russian prostitutes was untrue
because he didn't need to, quote, go there, meaning hiring prostitutes, which we knew.
That's so funny. That's so funny. He's like, yeah, no, I just, I would. I'm not against it,
but personally, I don't need that. I had Cheryl Teagues. I had Cheryl Teagues.
Right, right.
I don't go there.
Tracy Bingham from baywatch
yes the black one i'm not racist right uh like that's a hundred percent he's like defending
himself against multiple things at once right yeah yeah just weird sort of uh critiques linda
hamilton and his ability to have sex with everybody in the world that he constantly has going in his mind.
Why would I need to be urinated on by a prostitute?
I had Linda Hamilton at the Terminator premiere.
We went behind the dumpster and we did it.
And I said, I'll be back.
The Terminator premiere.
But then this is my favorite detail of that part.
That part.
But then this is my favorite detail of that part.
That part.
Trump just says 2013 out loud while his mind drifts away.
That's how that exchange ends.
He just goes, 2013.
And that's the end.
It's got to be so strange.
That's the end of it. Hearing about how Comey was letting other people know that he was taking memos.
And that was his code for, that was a fucking weird conversation I just had where he would be like, you know, tell I think other people in the FBI leadership being like, yeah.
So I spoke with Trump and I'll be writing a memo.
Right.
Like that's all they were just like, oh, OK.
That was his code for that meeting.
Yeah.
That it was getting that weird that he was even like, oh, so was it a memo type conversation?
He just speaks in fucking
like a personal narrative like twitter i mean he's he's human twitter yeah yes yeah no comey
specifically like at one point really sounds like a robot trying to make sense of right just nothing
because he says like he calls trump's speaking style jigsaw puzzle like and just like that it's just different statements mixed up
and completely out of order.
Right.
And yeah.
I saw Grayson Allen in Peter Luger's wearing shorts.
What?
Yeah, exactly.
And he's just like, wait, what?
Who's Grayson Allen?
From Duke.
Oh.
He's just like, what the fuck are you saying?
I was saying Graydon Carter for a second.
Anyway.
Is that who it is?
The Duke basketball player?
I meant to say Graydon Carter, the Manny Fair guy.
But it doesn't matter because Trump would have seen either of them wearing shorts and
just been like, how dare you wear shorts at Peter Lugar's steakhouse?
Showing that he's very sensitive to the
many, many accounts of him
committing sexual assault.
He keeps bringing that up in
these memos, and at one point
defends himself against claims of sexual assault
with particular mention of a stripper,
which is worth noting because
none of the women who have
publicly accused him are strippers.
So he just apparently assumed.
We're talking about Comey?
Trump.
No, I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, Comey has assaulted many strippers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know what Trump is thinking, too.
He's just like, okay, get it out of the way.
Let him know how none of that is true.
Okay, that's good.
Now you're innocent on that.
Now tell him about the pee tape.
Okay, never happened.
Great.
I'm innocent there.
So as long as the FBI knows that. I don he's playing he's playing whack-a-mole
every time a little thing pops up he's like great just what i'll do is i'll go ahead and use my
mallet which is bringing it up apropos of nothing and saying that i didn't do it hi this is the
first time you and i are having dinner as co. And I just go, yeah, so, you know, this stripper said that I groped her or some shit.
It's not true.
Nailed it.
Anyway, man, how's your food?
Like, it's just like so great.
It's well done.
So the one thing about that is he would never ask, how's your food?
It really sounds like Trump is like one of those dolls with a pull string.
He's just like constantly rotating these different things.
with a pull string.
He's just like constantly rotating these different things.
At one point, he's talking to him,
just cycling through crowd size
at his inauguration.
The claim that he had mocked
that handicapped reporter
and then talking about how he had
He's still talking about that?
Yeah, it's just like all his greatest hits.
It's just whatever was on TV about him that day.
Did he mention the wall?
Presumably, yeah. One of the more interesting details is he offers the completely unnecessary caveat while denying the Russian collusion story and the Russian P-tape story. He just tells Comey
that Putin once told him, we have some of the most beautiful hookers in the world, which is weird because there's
like weird things redacted around that story.
And I wonder if that's because he wasn't supposed to have had conversations with Putin at the
point that he's telling this story.
Like he had said during the election, like, I'd never met the guy.
Like, I don't know him at all.
And according to his official timeline now, he met Putin for the first time at the G20 in July of 2017.
He fired Comey May of 2017.
Right.
So he is talking about having talked to Putin and some stuff Putin told him about hookers before he's supposed to have ever met him.
Clearly they met.
Right.
Well.
But also it's just the kind of thing
like some fucker like trump would lie about right just to be like you know the president of x
country told me how good the hookers are you know what i mean like as if that gives him some kind of
cachet or some shit you know what i mean like let me tell you i know everything about like i know
everything about the popular opinion of uh hookers of sex workers i love woke
trump sex workers which is another interesting thing too that the news always is saying prostitute
prostitute and i feel like shouldn't they be saying sex worker yeah but it's like but they
want to sort of grease it up so they they want to say prostitute anyway from this point on we'll say
sex workers russian sex workers peed on trump
russian sex would pee on him anyway so yeah woke trump yeah woke trump's so funny to just be like
listen gender is a many splendored thing like to see like anything woke coming out of that just
like awful fucking he kind of recently to me reminds me me of a frog from Wind in the Willows.
He definitely does. Right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like there's an underrated frog comparison to Trump that just isn't being exploited by
our nation's political cartoonists.
I feel like I'm going to call them out.
You're doing shitty work.
You're fucking slacking political cartoonists.
Yeah, make them look like a weird frog guy.
Making them look like a weird frog guy and also because none of it has been relevant or made any sense for about 50 years now.
Yeah.
I feel like 99% of political cartoonists are just drawing pictures of David Hogg.
Right?
Right.
That's what they're doing now.
I feel like that's what they do now.
And I think that says a lot about how we as a country value illustration. And just last little detail I wanted to pull from the memo
is that at one point he asks if Comey thinks Trump did a good job on the Bill O'Reilly show,
which is just like, wow, so pathetic. Hey, did I do good? What'd you think? Do you think I did good?
But yeah, now, now comey's moved on
he's hanging out with the wu-tang clan yeah that was a weird photo jesus christ took a picture
backstage with method man and he's a fucking cop yeah exactly he's a fucking cop like the biggest
boy scout shit cop ever like that's why i'm also kind of sick of like this new i'm out here james
comey fuck you dude whatever like it's so funny because
in the i think on the daily today he was talking about how he was like you know i don't want my
like self-righteousness or my ego to get the best of me blah blah blah and it almost sounds like
you kind of sort of are with this like press tour he's been doing yeah what the fuck really being so
like i don't know he he's just had this little bit of swagger about him that it seems different than how he was before all of this went down.
Well, yeah, because, dude, if you have like super important information about the country that would lead to the country moving in a certain direction, you don't sell a book about it.
You know what I mean?
Right.
If you were like the head of the FBI.
book about it you know what i mean like right if you were like the head of the fbi so like even so the fbi sucks like historically has just been used to just trample over various people of
the left forever right and if you take the insane thing to me which is believing the fbi is like a
good organization and like has a meritous place in America, then not using
the information within the system to affect change and instead going on Colbert with your
information and hanging out with the Wu-Tang Clan and like posting pictures on Instagram
of all that shit, like says like, oh, you're just trying to be a celeb.
Yeah, no, there's something rings
hollow fuck that no he's definitely not a good you know figurehead for the left to like get behind
no he spent his career entrapping mentally disabled muslims into saying they're gonna commit
fucking terrorist uh attacks and like you know there's it dark dark yeah so there are two legal actions that
uh are in the news uh the u.s attorney's office has been meeting with andrew mccabe's legal team
in recent weeks uh basically uh that's funded by a gofundme right jesus christ and they're
trying to determine whether mccabe is going to be prosecuted for his leaks of information to the media, I guess, and for not being fully transparent.
The inspector general report was apparently scathing about Andrew McCabe.
We'll see.
That's that.
Does the inspector general have to wear a special hat?
Yes.
It has to be a foxcatcher, I believe.
With a monocle. hat. Yes. It has to be a foxcatcher, I believe. With a monocle.
Okay. Tight.
That's the noise I hear
when I... With the walrus mustache.
Indubitably.
I'm the inspector general.
And then the Democratic
Party filed
a lawsuit suing
Russia in the Trump
campaign. Great. Great job job that'll do a bunch right uh i
guess we're gonna sue russia the democratic the dnc filed a suit against uh nixon back during
watergate sure but yeah i don't know partially you might think well like it can't hurt every
little bit helps but at the same time anything that suggests that the democratic party is not taking ownership of the huge l they took in 2016 is probably not a good thing yeah
yeah we're gonna sue you that's why we lost it wasn't because yeah we don't even know where the
fuck we are it's a party like that it's mixed up it's. That's the most Gwyneth Paltrow ass fucking thing.
Like it's like
we've tried nothing.
Cool you mean?
Like goop.
Like the fucking
awesome.
What's the Flanders parents
the moment where
Flanders parents
are like
we tried nothing
and we're all out of ideas.
That's exactly
this moment
for the Democrats
where it's like
why don't we fucking
sue them. Hell yeah. We'll sue
Russia and then a bunch of dudes in this
like really tacky kitchen
like drinking huge
glasses of wine are like oh that's bad.
Yeah let's
be bad. You want to be bad?
High fives going around at the DNC.
I think I mean on one side it could be
coordinated because they think somehow they can
conjure up some documents or testimony or whatever.
Yeah, like as another way to put more pressure on the administration.
But yeah, at the same time, I think if this is in any way trying to be as like an excuse or a justification for like the outcome of the election, I think that's like pretty misguided.
But yeah, also, I don't think that's exactly why.
pretty misguided. But yeah, also, I don't think that's exactly why. But clearly, I feel like that's also part of it, too, is like the lawsuit is about the fact that, well, because of this,
the election was swayed to the Republicans. Here's a quick question that I have.
Just to step back, I think the Democratic Party, right, has like a pretty singular line on Putin,
which is that he's a totally insane lunatic who doesn't know what he's doing, who's capable
He's a totally insane lunatic who doesn't know what he's doing, who's capable of creating and sowing chaos in America and fixing our elections.
Right. Right. Which is like a totally coherent like thing that he both is like the stupidest man in the world, doesn't know what he's doing, but also can take over. Right. Now, regardless, the thing is that he's dangerous.
So why are they constantly trying to provoke him right like on one
level like it's like it just seems like a run-up to an unnecessary war with a very unstable leader
who also has a bunch of nukes still yeah that's what my friend on the right is always pointing
out he's like what like it's not a terrible thing to not want to start shit with Russia. Yeah, that's right. Like for what are we trying to prove? There's so many like.
So I'm willing to completely compromise and say that Russia had some sort of something to do with the election.
Right. Let's just say that they did something that they were the push, the final push.
You still needed all the other shit to go wrong that the Democrats did, right?
Right.
And so is the answer war?
Because it sure seems like we're ramping up to that shit.
I don't know.
I mean, on one hand, it seems like from the White House standpoint, they don't really
want to do anything.
So in that sense, I don't see it from the administration standpoint that it's going
to be like that.
Sure.
But also told Russia well in advance, these are the places we're hitting and they were like that sure but also told russia well in advance
these are the places we're hitting and they were places that the russians weren't operating i mean
like you know it was done in a way that was the least provocative version to russia and iran
bombing right and the most kind of sort of like rah-rah type shit it was more of like a flirtatious
bombing it was like yeah it was a little chaos yeah sure um unlike a city without declaring war on it
right yeah well that brings up all the other questions about the executive power that he has
and what that means for other conflicts that may arise and super quick huge thanks to obama for not
getting rid of those so that a bunch of yosemite sams could fucking convince the dude who was in
multiple wrestlemanias to almost start world war Three, like super tight of Obama to keep those there to keep the powers there.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although he did try and get Congress's approval.
But that was more about him just not wanting to put us in war.
I mean, all of this goes back to going to a war in Iraq.
Right. And it's like, oh, you could have undid the things. Obama really could have undid
the things and, you know, used his constitutional law knowledge that he was a scholar on and could
have really done a lot of cool shit. Boy, oh boy. Well, whoops. All right. We're going to take a
quick break and we'll be right back after that.
We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back after that.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country
into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradente.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline,
a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?
Or can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes.
Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice.
And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do,
like resume specialist Morgan Saner.
The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job
and the person who gets the job is usually who applies.
Yeah, I think a lot about that quote.
What is it, like you miss 100% of the shots you never take?
Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your
career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts separated by two months.
These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.
President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
Czar Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson. I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer.
This is Rip Current.
Available now with new episodes every Thursday.
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It's too late for that. I have a thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that.
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Come up here and document my project.
All you need to do is record everything like you always do.
One session.
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BPM 110.
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She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that? You didn't figure it out? 120, she's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not.
What was that? You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this?
We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing they're just dreams dream sequence is a new horror thriller from blumhouse television
iheart radio and realm listen to dream sequence on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever And we're back.
And so we have some weed news.
I said that like a cool person, right?
Yeah.
Hooba-hooba-hooba-snake, y'all.
So Schumer recently introduced a bill decriminalizing weed.
Yeah, decriminalizing shmagma for everybody.
So feel free to smoke on your shmag uh so yeah he
announced i mean it was an amazing marketing move like with vice news during weed week that
chuck schumer sits down with them to tell them and sign a bong for them that he's going to introduce
a bill he signed a fucking bong for them good it bong for them. Good. It was like. Good. Yeah. Wait, he really did this as part of a Vice segment?
Yeah, because it's like Weed Week on Vice.
That is incredible.
So like, yeah, I'm pretty sure he used Vice to tease it because that's how fucking tight he is.
He is Jack Lemmon in Glen Gary Glen Ross, dude.
And I fucking love it.
And I love any moment where he had to be so embarrassed because he's a longtime rich piece of shit.
moment where he had to be so embarrassed because he's a longtime rich piece of shit you know like wall street tied fucking just worst minority leader uh in like our lifetime one of the worst
uh and worst meaning like not in his ideas but in his effectiveness as at his job uh but like
he had to be so fucking like uh indignant during that bong signing.
He just had to have an inner moment where he had to just sigh.
Really, Chuck?
This is where we're at?
Like a Veep, like Iannucci moment.
And I love that he had to feel that because fuck that fraud.
So all that Bill does is just sort of decriminalizes it.
And I think takes it off the list yeah list
of lists of controlled substances right and then give states authority how to regulate it but you
know it's one of those bills that doesn't really do shit because if you're not talking about people
who are locked up for it then fuck that kind of a bill like i think you know cory booker had a
marijuana justice act that was like you know gonna eliminate its status as schedule one drug and
require federal courts to like expunge people's records and to like relate it to use or possession.
You know, like that's the kind of shit that needs to happen because if we're really going to go there, like let's address like the damage that this prohibition has done.
Right.
But it needs to go beyond that and there needs to be like a form of reparations with this money.
Yeah, there's other ones.
Yeah, suggesting like of giving people a piece of like the new legal market or whatever.
Yeah.
Because that's a new revenue stream
that people can exploit.
Because this is economic imperialism.
What we're seeing now is like,
we have allowed wealth inequality to grow so much
that the formal economy now needs
to incorporate the illicit economy into itself in order to keep sustaining itself.
You see it in like, you know, like the only real places that have like surpluses now are
like weed states.
Right.
And it's just incorporating something that already existed in our societal economy into
the like, okay, legal, taxable economy and so now like if it doesn't involve like real
redistribution like white people are completely owning it because they locked up all the other
people who ever did it right you know and then like which brings us to mitch mcconnell who's
also putting a bill out about you know relaxing the laws on growing hemp like for industrial hemp
yeah because in kentucky it makes sense for him because a lot of the tobacco farmers are like, hey, tobacco is not
really the thing anymore. And they really want to grow hemp. So now he's on that train. I can't
imagine who he's invested with in that, just like John Boehner. But yeah. So those are some things
happening. It seems weird that it's all happening during this week. Maybe just stellar marketing
from both parties.
Yeah, it's kind of a bummer that the people who created all the injustice,
like the politicians and that class of people,
are the ones who are now like,
and now we're going to profit off of the reversal of that. Signing bongs.
Fuck you.
Because John Boehner's like, hey, man, I can go in there.
I could probably turn some heads.
Right, exactly.
So give me 57% of your company. I mean, I'm the smoking guy., hey, man, like, I can go in there. I could probably turn some heads. Right, exactly. Like, so give me 57% of your company.
I mean, I'm the smoking guy.
Yeah.
Come on, man.
I mean, seriously, like, that is just, like, the.
It's crazy.
The fact that there are people in jail.
Yeah, exactly.
For, like, life sentences under, like, three strikes laws or whatever.
Like, I'm sure there are still people.
Like, let these non-violent offenders the
fuck out of prison like get like what it's fucking chuck schumer has the fucking nerve to go and sign
a bong while literally anyone's in prison for minor possession well it's crazy too when they
asked him like what helped you come around and he said it was the polling yeah no shit you know
you said the loud part exactly the quiet part loud shut the shit. You know what I mean? Oops, you said the loud part. Exactly. The quiet part loud.
It's like, dude, shut the fuck up.
You know what I mean?
And that's why this bill is like, it doesn't go far enough.
I hope this brings this kind of a debate to the floor if this is really something that's going to happen.
But, yeah.
I can't believe you literally admitted, like, well, what made you change your mind?
Oh, popular opinion changed, and so I have no personal stance or values of any sort.
I am a modern neoliberal Democrat.
I just do whatever 52% of the people want to do.
No, right.
And well, at first he did say the thing where, you know, too many lives have been ruined,
et cetera, et cetera.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
And then-
Easy for him to say now.
He has to say that and then goes, yeah, well, the polling.
I love that that Kennedy they trotted out earlier this year is still like railing anti-marijuana.
Is he really?
Yeah.
The redhead?
Big time.
Oh, he's anti-weed?
Oh, yeah, huge.
Big time.
Oh, you.
Yeah.
What is wrong with him?
Oh, generations of inbreeding.
I mean, off the top.
Hemophilia probably is like a thing that's wrong with him.
Wow, I didn't realize that about everyone.
I was so everyone was so taken aback by his sort of like stance on everything else that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Well, assuming he doesn't rise to too much power, they are speculating that legal weed
will outsell soda within 15 years.
Good.
Yeah.
Fuck soda, man.
Except for LaCroix.
Sweet, sweet LaCroix.
Still looking for that sponsorship.
They might not be listening. Literally
haven't asked.
I think obviously because people are getting a little
more aware of the
terrible, terrible effects of soda. People are opening
their minds. They're opening their minds, bro.
You know, don't want that sugar water.
Alright, I'm not Edgar from Men in Black.
So that's a deep cut. Deep cut reference.
Thank you.
Wow.
Sugar in water.
Was that Sonnenfeld?
It was.
Yeah, very Sonnenfeld.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It was a Sonnenfeld joint.
And you're back.
So they were saying that legal cannabis industry will probably reach the 75 billion mark in
sales by 2030.
Hooba, hooba, hooba stank.
Yeah.
So, yeah, tax that. The B in hooba, hooba stank. Yeah, so tax that.
The B in hooba stank stands for
billions. Yeah, and then the soda,
I think that, yeah, the soda
is going to be much less than that because I think
that's where it's at right now. Good. Fuck soda,
man. I'm sure
soda is going down, right? And
legal weed obviously is going down. Well, yeah, I think that's
why a lot of these soda companies are starting to invest
in these health food brands too
like Pepsi
they have such huge
stakes in all the
natural food business
too
because they know
right
writing's on the wall
gotta get your foot
on that life raft
yeah people are
gonna realize that
this shit is poison
and killing us
right
but I love a
Kern's Nectar though
oh boy
still looking for
that Kern's Nectar
sponsorship
man
you know how to
target the top earners right the fortune 500 kern's is like a fucking pixie stick like it's
like i think it's 900 grams of sugar i feel like it's like 9-11 for your body
uh 420 is 7-11 is 9-11 by the way that's a lot of numbers
I'm checking your math
actually that works out
420 is 7-11's 9-11
hi what's up I'm 2012 Twitter
alright let's get into
Bloid Watch
so the royal wedding is less than a month away
what is this segment? this is Bloid Watch you haven't been here on a Friday So the royal wedding is less than a month away.
Wait, what is this segment?
This is Bloidwatch.
Oh, you haven't been here on a Friday.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we look at the tabloids because people are reading them as they check out at grocery stores every day.
And so we actually look at the articles behind the headlines because they love to put some crazy shit on the cover.
And then on the inside, it's just nothing.
Billionaire turns 92.
Ooh, look at his 42-year-old partner.
So one of the big stories on the cover of Us Weekly, it's all royal, all the top secret I do details and it's the royal couple.
And at the bottom it says, plus why the Obamas really aren't going.
Oh, wow.
Which suggests that there's like some conspiracy or something.
And the explanation is just the fact that they didn't want to invite the Trumps.
And so they didn't feel like they could invite the Obamas or any other American political family because it would have been improper.
If they didn't feel like they could invite the Trumps because they didn't want the Obamas to come.
That would be the number one story on Drudge, on Us Weekly, like because the royals hate the Obamas.
But no, they just gloss over it.
They're like, you know, they don't want to invite the Trumps.
So having the Trumps there could jeopardize attendance.
Now a source says it was mutually decided.
It would be wise.
It's so weird when like an outmoded form of governance that's just basically gasping its last breath
is like, nah, not you.
We're like, yeah, generations ago,
before any of you were born,
people decided that we didn't matter.
Right.
But we don't like you.
Yeah, right.
Bye, bitch.
A couple other stories that are everywhere.
There's the Khloe Kardashian story.
Right as she was going into labor, there were multiple videos of Tristan Thompson cheating on her.
That sucks so hard.
I know.
And so I heard a conspiracy theory.
From where?
From inside sources. I think it was a Ringer podcast that Kris Jenner set the whole thing up
to create chaos and basically break them up
because she didn't like Tristan.
Holy shit, palace intrigue.
I know.
And these are our royals, obviously.
Right.
But the videos are weirdly,
everybody the second they came out were like,
I mean, obviously this wouldn't be set up because why would it be?
But it looks set up like the girls like looking back at the camera and like it just all looks very like.
It's like the most salacious parts like she grabs his crotch.
He like buries his head in her chest.
They kiss.
It's like all this like damning shit.
There's not even like any gray area with it.
Right.
Oh, this is pure fuckery.
Yeah.
And why is there a camera there and who's filming it guess because it's a nightclub you know like i'd
imagine yeah you have tapes there but who knows if they knew that and could get that but everything
like it's like this this is the same shit as comey it's like yeah you're gonna sell it chris
jenner's gonna like ruin her fucking daughter's life this is her first child i assume yes clothes first yeah
so during like a life you know changing super important moment in your life to have your mom
be like oh my god did you see what your boyfriend did even even if it's not real the fact that
it could happen that your mom could do this and that everyone in america knows that your mom could
release videos of your partners cheating as a human is coming out of your body is so nice
terrible place to be in but it's oh this is like a horror movie i know it totally lines up with
i mean the way this is black mirror this is the way she's built her media empire is by exploiting tragedy and drama in the lives of her children.
Absolutely.
And creating it.
I mean, she's the showrunner of the lives of her family.
And then the only other story on my end, I had Star in touch in Us Weekly.
The only other story that was widely covered is Carrie Underwood came out. So there's
this weird thing on New Year's. Her
face was badly injured.
She had to get 40 stitches in her face.
She wouldn't show her face to anybody
but was just like really building up.
Like you guys are gonna like freak out when you
see me. I look totally different. Just be ready.
Like the Joker or some shit. Just be ready.
And she finally showed her face this week
and you guys it is
weird because she doesn't look
at all different and there's no way she got 40
stitches so people are like wait what the fuck
were you doing like what are you talking about
yeah is it that
different I'm really looking no it's
not different at all it looks
legitimately identical it's just that there's
just a like a line why
basically why did she get 40 stitches she walk into a glass door she said she It looks legitimately identical. It's just that there's just a line, basically.
Why did she get 40 stitches?
She walk into a glass door?
She said she fell down or something?
I'm not sure.
It has to be that she was wasted, right?
Yeah.
It's New Year's.
I don't know too many people who fall and don't break their fall with their hands other than me when I was blacked the fuck out.
I know people who have buck-fiftied themselves with broken like, broken wine glasses, like falling down on a wine glass.
Oh, yeah.
That's a lot.
Buck-fifty?
Yeah, 150 stitches.
Oh.
Yeah.
You don't know that?
Damn.
Anyway, the more you know.
So, anyway, yeah.
So, what else we got?
On an OK, Kate Hudson is having twin girls.
This is, like, nothing great.
It's an announcement, basically.
They paid to announce that, much like how Pink paid to announce it.
This is how she's raising strong children.
Well, but they're paying her, right?
I mean, they're paying her.
For access to the photographs.
Her, but she needs it because whatever,
she must be selling an album or a book or whatever.
Right, right.
The machine feeds itself.
Right.
So the Inquirer gets interesting.
OJ's son watched dad murder Nicole.
And this is based on-
Hell yeah.
Throwback.
OJ's friend who was dying told them that he's like-
Is it the guy that talked like this?
From the interview or from the documentary?
You know the guy I'm talking about?
That guy's voice is amazing.
That guy was like, yeah, OJ's dad gay.
That was the best part of that fucking movie.
That's right.
He just threw that out there yeah that movie was so
wow in the middle of it's like yeah man we saw him in a rope
it was amazing oh okay thank you for that that implication that like oj lost his mind because
ron gold Goldman was gay.
Oh, really?
That was what was sort of implied.
That's what I got out of it.
That's interesting.
Well, look, that's not as good as them blaming Meredith Vieira, who may be responsible for Matt Lauer's divorce.
Not the fact that he could be a sex crim.
It was this woman's fault.
It's a woman's fault either way. In this reality, yes.
Because as we know, this is the darker corner of Donald Trump's imagination.
So National Examiner, again,
the one tabloid that's
just for octogenarians and up.
I mean, I don't understand
any of these people. 1960s
child stars, where are they now? I don't
know who Jay North is
or Lisa Loring or Lauren Chapin.
Any of those names ring a bell?
No.
Okay.
Well, again, that's why this is for.
Where are they, though?
But I do need to know.
Where are they?
Where'd they go, though?
Are they okay?
And then also the top part is free inside 20-second stroke test that will save your life.
Oh, wow.
Which I'm pretty sure is just sort of you raise your arms above your head and you smile,
and then you have to say a sentence, right?
Right.
Mariska Hardigay is on the cover.
You know that.
Because what?
Is she in JAG or?
Law and Order.
Law and Order.
Law and Order, yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
Come on now.
I think she probably has made some special appearances in JAG.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
There's crossover episodes.
And then last, The Globe.
Humiliated Melania.
Shocking reason she'll never divorce Trump. World exclusive. Which is weird. crossover episodes. And then last, The Globe, humiliated Melania, shocking reason
she'll never divorce Trump,
world exclusive.
The only thing that is-
Which is weird
because so this is AMI,
this is Trump's homie
who like runs this
and all the stories
seem specifically approved by,
if not directly inspired by,
Trump's like pull string
talking points.
Yeah.
So it's weird that they're
like talking about how she can never leave him.
But Trump does have a history of like basically leaking to tabloids that he was cheating on someone.
Right.
Yeah.
That's like his thing.
He doesn't want to like leak that he's a good husband or like, you know, nah, the like all those rumors aren't true.
He leaks that they are true because he wants everybody to know how much sex he's having.
Right.
Fuck his kids.
God,
I wish his secret was just that he was so impotent.
Right.
You know what I mean?
That's why he's like,
yeah,
so,
uh,
yeah,
I'm having an affair or whatever.
And like all these women were actually paid to just admit that they had sex,
quote unquote,
with Donald Trump or something.
It'd be so funny if one of them just said that.
Right.
You could just say that. Right. You could just say that.
Right.
Like, I'm calling on any porn performer
to just say it.
Just say it.
Just fucking say it, dude.
Just say his impotence.
No, but just do it because it's funny.
Right.
Nothing's going to happen,
but just be like,
yeah, he paid me to say that we fucked,
but actually, you know,
make something weird up.
Like, oh, he just made me, like,
play in a pile of wet leaves
and he just watched and said oh my this is nice yeah yeah just make some shit up just say it it
just be it'll be fun at the same time the last time we really emasculated a sitting president
we got the first iraq war yeah so let's not don't call him chicken. Yeah. So chicken.
Melania.
So she won't dump him.
Right.
Is that the exclusive is that they just spoke to a relationship expert who's just wildly speculating.
That's the only exclusive thing about this.
And the,
I guess the conclusion that she drew was exclusive,
but basically saying,
well,
she knew what she was getting into.
He's never been faithful.
So it's not that she was surprised,
but she's so devoted to
Baron and keeping the family together for his
sake, she will endure the end,
basically, but with a lot of extra words
being written around it that essentially
just say the same thing.
He is who he is. He is who he is.
He is a penis
with a wig on, essentially.
Josh, it has been wonderful having you, as always.
Thank you.
I'm very stoned.
On this holiday.
Where can people find you?
You can find me on Twitter at ShutUpAndrosky.
I have a show called Democracy Dies After Dark, Thursday, the 26th of this month, this upcoming Thursday in Los Angeles.
And I have a podcast called Left Coast with Sarah June.
Yeah.
We just put out a new episode about Marxist feminism, which rules.
And it's just kind of looking at the different types of feminism and including an analysis of who's in power and how power has to do.
And that was really cool to learn about.
Nice.
Check that shit out.
Miles, where can people find you?
Find me on Twitter and Instagram at Miles of Grey.
You can follow me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien.
You can follow us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist.
We're on Instagram at The Daily Zeitgeist.
We have a Facebook fan page and a website, dailyzeitgeist.com, where we
post our episodes and our footnotes.
Footnotes! Where we link off to the
information that we talked about in today's episode.
That is going to do
it for today. Miles. Yes.
What are you going to ride us out on? I was
trying to pick so many songs
because I have so many songs I want to share.
And, you know, today I was just
one track was like a Japanese producer beat song
that I thought maybe to do.
And then I just had to think,
wait, what is a song that I always just like to smoke to?
And Spodey Odie Dope Delicious by Outkast
is by far one of the greatest songs
to just bump in your car and just smoke.
Now, I'm not saying smoke and drive.
Oh, wait, hold on.
I'm not advocating for that.
I am.
But yeah, who knows? Exactly. Anyway, I just have to shout and traffic. Wait, hold on. I'm not advocating for that. I am. But yeah, who knows?
Exactly.
Anyway, I just have to shout this song out.
It has an amazing horn line.
The groove is amazing.
It's just off an amazing album.
So yes, Spodeo De Dope-List by Outkast
on the album with Clem and I.
That is taking us out.
And you guys have an amazing weekend
and be safe and love each other.
Can I make a shout out to good getting stoned music?
Yeah.
Real quick.
C Monday.
C Monday.
Yes.
C Y M A N D E.
Yeah.
Like a European funk band and their first album.
Just listen to it while you're high and driving.
Drive while high.
It's fine.
Don't do that.
Please do it.
That's going to do it for this week.
We will be back on Monday. Talk to you guys then. Bye. Don't do that please please do it that's gonna do it for this week we will be back on monday
talk to you guys then bye don't do it Damn, damn, damn, damn Damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damn Damn Damn Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn
Damn Damn I love you. Right now, talking shit Nigga, where you wanna go?
You know
Club don't close to four
Let's party till we can't no more
Watch out, I come to fall
Damn Oh, yeah. That's the plot, Dickens
It gives me the Dickens
Reminiscing of Charles
A little discotheque nestled in the ghettos
Of Nickerville, USA
Via Atlanta, Georgia
A little spot where Young men and young women go to experience their first little taste
of the nightlife.
Me?
Well, I've never been there.
Well, perhaps once, but I was so engulfed in the O.E. I never made it to the door.
You speak of hardcore.
Why the DJ's sweating out all the problems and troubles of the day.
Why this fine, bow-legged girl finds it all outdoors.
Love's lukewarm lullabies in your left ear.
Competing with set it off in the right.
But it all blends perfectly.
Let the liquor tell it.
Hey, hey.
Look, baby.
They playing our song
And the crowd goes wild
As if Holyfield has just won the fight
But in actuality
It's only about 3am
And three niggas just done got hauled off in the ambulance
Two niggas done started bussing
One nigga done took his shirt off, tongue by
Now who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Co? Two niggas done started bussin'. Bam, bam. One nigga done took his shirt off. Talkin' bout.
Now who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Cole?
It's just my interpretation.
Of the situation. Thank you. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, Stallion horse with skates on, you know Smooth like a hot comb on Napa ass health I walked up on her and was almost paralyzed Her neck was smelling sweeter than a plate of yams
With extra syrup
Eyes beaming like four carrots apiece
Just blinding the nigga
Felt like I cheated the whole order at presidential
My heart would be so damn fast
Never knowing this moment would bring another life
Into this world
Funny how shit come together sometimes, you dig?
One moment you frequent the booty clubs,
and the next four years you and somebody's daughter
raising y'all own youngin'. Now that's a beautiful thing.
That's if you're on top
of your game and man enough to handle
real life situations, that is.
Can't gamble feedin' baby on that
dope money. Might not always be sufficient.
But the United Parcel
Service and the people at the post office
didn't call you back because you had cloudy
piss. So now
you're back in the trap. Just that.
Trap.
Go on and marinate on that for a minute. Thank you. موسيقى Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti.
And I'm Jermaine Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career.
That's where we come in.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice.
And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert
Maury Tahiripour.
If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort
of eases us a little bit.
Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts. Señora Sex Ed is not your mommy's sex talk. This show is la plática like you've never
heard it before. We're breaking the stigma and silence around sex and sexuality in Latinx
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We're your hosts, Viosa and Mala.
You might recognize us from our first show,
Locatora Radio.
Listen to Señora Sex Ed on the iHeart Radio app,
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There's so much beauty in Mexican culture,
like mariachis, delicious cuisine,
and even lucha libre.
Join us for the new podcast, Lucha Libre Behind the Mask,
a 12-episode podcast in both English and Spanish about the history and cultural richness of lucha libre.
And I'm your host, Santos Escobar, emperor of lucha libre and a WWE superstar.
Listen to Lucha Libre Behind the Mask on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts.