The Daily Zeitgeist - Weekly Zeitgeist 173 (Best of 4/26/21-4/30/21)
Episode Date: May 2, 2021The weekly round up of the best moments from DZ's Season 182 (4/26/21-4/30/21.) Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informa...tion.
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Hello, the internet, and welcome to this episode of the Weekly Zeitgeist.
These are some of our favorite segments from this week,
all edited together into one nonstop infotainment laughstravaganza.
So without further ado, here is the weekly zeitgeist.
We're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by the very face of Mount Zeitmore.
She is the brilliant, the hilarious, the talented Jamie Loftus!
A.K.A. straight out of Brockton.
I'm an ice resurfacing Zami.
Can't make an emoji so people call me Yammy.
Never called soft.
That's not my dentist cough.
My mouth was open and she sneezed with her mask off.
Mask off.
That's from Uncle Brew.
Shout out Brockton Mass every day, all the time.
I was just, I'm not joking.
I just watched a little poopy again over the weekend.
Brockton legend.
I know.
How's he doing?
It was an old video.
I was telling, I didn't tell something.
I thought of something that I, you ever do this where you were going to offer something in a conversation and then you don't say it?
And then you think of it later, like, wait, I want to explore that curiosity on my own that i didn't have the courage to say out loud and then
i just watched the first little poopy video i'm like yeah he had something going little poopy
little poopy was such a yeah that was that was a big local moment everyone was so excited there's
like one exciting thing happens in brockton every six to seven years what's the what was what's been since
little poopy and he was on the rap life with jermaine dupri the most the most recent thing
that's happened in brockton that everyone i know from high school was really on top of
was that they filmed a couple scenes from uh the new adam mckay movie about climate change in
brockton okay and uh jennifer lawrence and timothy chalamet were
making out in brockton hey that was pretty exciting for us it's kind of fucked up because
brockton is used in movies every once in a while but it's only used to be like hey isn't this a
fucked up looking place like it's like the the apocalypse yeah, Brockton appears in the movie Detroit as Detroit.
Oh, wow.
A broccolips.
Yes, it's a broccolips now.
But Brockton's misunderstood.
It's the greatest place in the world.
And you know that because Timothy Chalamet was kissing there.
Would he kiss just anywhere?
I don't think so.
No, definitely not.
was kissing there exactly kiss just anywhere i don't think no definitely not uh i i missed little poopy but uh he's is he still out here what's i mean i don't know about little poopy
in a while and now he's like adult poopy yeah now he's like big poopy yeah he's compacted shit in
the colon like i don't know what he is now but he's he's mr shit yeah mr
mr feces to you jb we like to ask our guests what is something from your search history
that is revealing about who you are what you're up to uh that sort of thing you know i've been
doing i got these two two big-ass dogs man, you know, watching a big ass dog is a chore.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm telling you, man.
How big are we talking?
I got two Gordon Setters, man.
They're both two year old siblings.
See, here's the thing that they have not developed yet is maybe it's out there.
I've been Googling and see if they have a power washer for a fucking dog.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I mean?
Something that can get down,
not hurt them,
but get into the fur
and clean it real good
from their skin outward
and pull all the grime and dirt
because these dogs run around
and fight all goddamn day.
Got slobber all over their goddamn neck.
Like anything you think of, these dogs wrestle wrestle they fucking dive in the pool sometimes i got time to get the fuck out the pool you know what i'm saying right right so and they go behind
my trees i got a i got a row of trees privacy trees they go behind the trees and run between
the trees and the fence they squeeze behind there they hunt for lizards all day they
love it right they know they love fucking lizards man they love them like i love candy fish they
like fucking lizards they fucking love them and they just chase lizards all day anything that
moves every morning these fucking ducks these fucking crazy ducks land in my pool every morning
and every morning i open my eyes because i have my little patio door open. I can
see the pool when I
get up. And the fucking ducks,
two or three ducks, there's a family
of them.
How many times I say, get the fuck out of my pool,
they come back every morning.
Ducks don't understand
profanity or English at all.
Yeah, they don't respond well to
aggression. You figure by now, they would know
get the fuck out of my pool because I say it
enough times and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the
neighborhood where these fucking
dudes are using a landing pad into my
damn pool every morning and my dogs love to
chase them. So every morning, I open
the door, let the dogs chase them away.
It's a game now.
Animals play games with each
other. You know that? Right. The ducks are fucking with the dog. The squirrels it's a game now right animals play games with each other you know right
the ducks are
fucking with the dog
the squirrels are
fucking with the dogs
the squirrels sit on
top of the fence
knowing the dogs
can't reach them
and their tail
and their tail
is just fucking
moving like
like a
like they're just
waving their tail
you mad
you mad
you can't get this
baby
you know what I'm saying
unless you got a
fucking ladder
a doggy ladder
but I was searching
to see if there's
any way I can get down without having to scrub saying unless you got a fucking ladder a doggy ladder but i was searching to see if there's any
way i can get down without having to scrub i spent an hour a piece on these dogs washing them
you know so i was looking for this mobile uh several mobile doggy groomers right they got a
van it's equipped with all the shit they need you know you got the water built
in already and they wash your dog for you right wash your dog then they do something where for
no charge no extra charge they do the anal glands or some shit like that i said what the first i
said what the fuck is that right yeah you feel me what the fuck is that and why is it free for you
hey the way i see it if they offer it free for you? Yeah, what do you think?
Hey,
the way I see it,
if they offer it,
it must be something that I'm supposed to be doing
when I'm washing my dog.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
And I'm not qualified
to do no anal probing and shit.
Right.
I'm not qualified for that shit.
It's supposed to be
just legendary stink
coming out of those things.
Now,
that's my second search.
So,
I was like,
am I supposed,
so I searched Google, am i supposed to check
my dog's anal glands right just to make sure you know is it something i'm supposed to do while i'm
washing them you know what the fuck what is my responsibility to the to the anal glands right
as an owner right as an owner so but they they provide that service for you they threw that in
there so i'm guessing that's what they do when it comes to mobile groomer comps.
It's funny that you brought up the pressure washer because I was just reading a story about the, there was a, like a car, like a self car wash place where the owners are getting mad because someone keeps bringing their horses there.
Oh, and they're just hitting their horses with their car wash.
And then just getting out real quick. If you're far enough back and it's not, you know, the closer you get, that's going to hurt them.
If you get far back, it's going to spread out.
It's going to spread and get nice.
No, that was the idea.
I think the same owner was like, yeah, this distance, I can get all my horses done in about 15 minutes.
Wait, one of those like sponge cave things?
They were just riding their horse through that?
Yeah, like, no, no, no.
You know how like some of them, like you see them in LA, like it'll be like a concrete stall.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
You just go.
Yeah.
Self-washing.
Yeah.
Self-car wash.
Yeah, yeah.
Not a drive-through.
No, not like a ride-through.
I was picturing a drive-through.
Hey, not a bad fucking idea though.
Not a bad idea.
A horse is a fucking vehicle.
So you can't sit there and say a horse is not a vehicle.
A horse classifies, that's classifies that is someone's car.
That horse is someone's
transportation in their fucking car.
So you can't exclude a horse
from the equation.
And we measure all vehicles in
horsepower. They're the
original vehicle.
Don't hate on a horse.
This is a landmark lawsuit.
Hell yeah, man. Landmark.
What is something you think is overrated, Kate?
Okay.
The number 420.
Okay.
Okay.
It's kind of a hot take, but it ties into what I think is underrated, which is the number
69.
Yeah.
I think we talk about 420 a lot listen i love weed i smoke it
pretty much every day in some form but you know i think in in terms of like funny numbers and
like good numbers i think 69 is way better yeah way better 420 like no one can get a straight story on what it even means like is it like the
police code for weed like or is it something else old friends from the northwest who started it
that group of friends like who cares like no one knows it's not a clear backstory it's like
confusing it's i'm like 69 is so you get exactly what you're looking at.
Yeah.
69 is funny.
Like it's one of those things where like I'll be on Reddit and upvote.
I'll be I'll see something at 68 and I'll be like, ah, maybe I'm gonna get that to 69.
And then 420, you just kind of see you like and then you keep moving.
Like there's a little more mischief involved with 69 than 420.
This is coming from somebody who, again, you heard my AKA.
I love the weed.
I have a fucking podcast called 420 Day Fiance.
But it's not because I think this shit is like the funniest thing.
It's just like shorthand for weed.
But whenever I see the two. Show your 420 chest piece, Miles.
Show it.
Oh, I'm actually getting it lasered off.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's a whole story.
It's becoming like beer o'clock, right?
I think I was saying Joel Kim Booster, I think, posted something about how 420, especially like the holiday, because we just had the quote unquote holiday or whatever, the day 420 feels like very specifically millennial and will probably end with us because like now that we're in a world where there's
recreational legal weed right it's not as counter culturey and i even find myself like having i did
so much work on ford i've never worked harder on 420 in my life this last year oh yeah i'm like
i was on like 900 live streams because i've distilled my whole identity to weed and like
you gotta come here smoke this this, and talk about this.
It's like you were doing a 24-hour phone marathon.
Like Le Mans of weed smoking.
It was just too much.
But I think it does feel like now that it's gone,
it's not like, yo, we can get kicked out of fucking everywhere for this shit.
Now it's just like, can you smoke weed over there?
It's the same thing.
I think there was a time when 420 like had a lot of magic to it,
especially like when we were younger,
you know,
I was like,
when I found out about 420,
I was like,
Oh my God,
like that's a funny number.
Let's say it all the time.
Let's put it in our aim screen names,
you know,
like,
but now,
now as I mature and weed is legal,
yeah,
it's,
it's lost some of the magic.
And I'm way more into 69 these days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
69 is way funnier.
666, where would you put that on the-
Oh, wow.
666 might be number two behind 69.
Yeah, I think so.
666 is great.
66.6, like any variation of 666.
Yeah, yeah.
Now that I think about what your take is, it's really about the offense that it great. 66.6, like any variation of 666.
Now that I think about what your take is,
it's really about the offense that it causes.
Right. Because we live in a very puritanical society.
The idea of 69ing can cause an older person to be,
oh, 69.
And 666, we got the whole satanic panic.
But again, weed, it's just not, it's lost.
Weeds lost that sort of ability to to access people's pearl clutching reflex yeah the edge isn't there the edge isn't
there sorry grandma 69 is happening whether you like it or not yeah so is do people like make a
big deal of june 9th like does that come into play that's why i wanted to bring
this up because i wanted to like soft pitch this to you guys like what if we did make june 9th like
69 day and we like kind of like started it could start right here on this podcast episode right
maybe a campaign to get everyone 69ing on 69. Or just celebrating 69 culture, which is, you know, mutually beneficial joy.
Yeah.
And, you know, cum.
Sexual liberation.
Cum.
It's all about dual cum.
Dual power.
Yeah.
And now, you know, fuck D-Day.
Who gives a shit about June 6th?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
June 9th.
Oh, my bad.
June 9th.
I'm thinking of June 6th. June 9th. Wait. 6, 9. See, I'm so bad with numbers. June 9th. You know what I mean? June 9th. Oh, my bad. June 9th. I'm thinking of June 6th.
Wait, 6, 9. See, I'm so bad with numbers.
June 9th. What happened?
Anything good? I just want to make sure we're not...
I don't want to step on another.
The Athenian coup of 411 B.C.
and Nero took his own life
in A.D. 68.
I do celebrate the Athenian coup.
Isn't 420 also like
Hitler's birthday?
Yeah. I guess we need something to overshadow that a little bit but yeah the the nazis already fuck with 420 i'm not
saying like end 420 the holiday i'm just saying like let's build up june yeah i'm kind of i'm
kind of for ending 420 as a whole it's because it's not a it's not really a holiday you know
what i mean it's and plus i holiday. You know what I mean?
Plus, I'm at this point, most of us
now who used to be like, yeah, man, 420.
We're smoking weed to fucking get by.
It's not the same
shit where it's like... Times are hard.
We need it now.
I think 420
is great and we should continue
to take it back from the Nazis, but I
do like this idea of
number ranks. Yeah, it's
plummeting in terms of value.
Yes. May 4th being
bringing up the rear, I'm assuming.
May the 4th be with you.
Yeah, that's
fine. Yeah.
I can go die somewhere.
I mean, I don't celebrate that one because
I'm not a Star Wars fan.
Right.
I celebrate that one by 69ing.
That's kind of a weird thing.
You can celebrate any holiday by 69ing.
That's the beauty of 69.
But I think it needs its own day, you know?
I mean, it's right there in the numbers.
Six, nine.
right there in the in the numbers six nine and yeah june 9th is is lacking yeah in terms of uh like what actually you know like there's not something huge happening there's like a lot of
historical things happening around that date but nothing where you're like all right six nine
right so it's like we need a we need a holiday at that time like. Like a month before like 4th of July-ish.
Let's have a holiday
on June 9th.
It's a good time for it.
Yeah.
And it is like
kind of the beginning
of horny season,
the beginning of summer.
Horny summer.
Horny summer vibes.
Let's have a horny...
We have no horny holidays.
I guess Valentine's Day...
Yeah, what's the horny holiday?
Valentine's Day is like the only horny holiday we have.
And I don't consider it.
And that's laborious.
If that's the horniest we have, we can do better.
You know what?
This is perfect because the solstice this year is June 20th.
And you need like 11 days just to warm your body up for official horny season.
So 6-9, you 6-9.
Get ready for June 20th.
Longest day. Yeah. I mean,
the longest day to 69.
Yeah. Let's have some babies
born nine months. Actually,
I guess not.
I don't know. Yeah.
You can't have a baby from 6-9.
That's why it's also great.
It's great about it.
Why do you want to have one of those". That's why it's also... That's also what's great about it. It's what's great about it. There you go.
Why do you want to have one of those?
Yeah. Let's keep it mouth baby only.
Yeah.
That sounds like a Yahoo answers question.
Get pregnant from 69?
Yes.
What is...
I mean, I don't think I have to ask
what's something that's underrated.
I think we just already...
That was it.
That was it.
It's a relation between 420 and 69.
69.
Damn.
I've been thinking about this a lot.
Like, I'm very passionate about it.
Yeah.
It's been on my mind.
Yeah.
They make, look, they are numbers that make you laugh, but in terms of raw power, like
you could power a car off of 69, not off of 420.
I mean, 69, it transcends even being a number.
Like,
it is a picture.
It's a painting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I think of like the first time
my friend Ty,
he was like a few years older than me.
He told me,
he's like,
you know what 69 is?
I was like,
what?
You know what I mean?
Because this is how you learn about shit
when you're a kid.
Yeah.
And I was like,
what's that?
And he goes,
it's a,
so he's like,
he's like,
okay,
so here's a six and a nine. And I was like what what's that he goes it's a so he's like he's like okay so here's the six and the nine and i was like all right and then he like but then he took them
and he like tried to manipulate them so the the tail of the six and the nine they like went into
each other he's like and then that's like when you both do that stuff i'm like okay but what is
what is head right this is very early on in my life I was like okay got that part
but I don't know what these other things
so she like blows on it
a blowjob
like so there's honey
it's so crazy
when you're like a kid and you find out what blowjobs
are I remember being just like
that's not real like that's a joke
that's stupid
that's where the pee pee goes.
Yeah.
I was like,
so blown away.
And yeah,
you know,
it's,
it's,
it's forever funny.
It's forever funny.
It is.
It's a fun,
like,
uh,
catching your parents having sex,
gross,
catching your parents.
60.
There's not like,
that's funny. You you can't you gotta just
wait would you rather catch your parents 69 or having sex i mean i want them under the covers
but no you gotta see you gotta you gotta you gotta fucking take this in with your eyes yeah
what will cause less trauma you think 69 would 69 would cause less trauma. Because you'd have a laugh about it.
You'd have a laugh. You can't not laugh.
Yo!
What are you guys doing?
Wait, Josh!
Okay!
I'm just like, what are they...
Because someone will have to say something,
and they're going to have genitals in their mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
When they're like...
Yeah, yeah.
Get out!
Get out!
Like, if the birds and the bees talk was just about 69ing
and not about anything else, actually, that'd be like way less pressure.
Yeah.
That would be a great psychological experiment to do where somebody just explains that as the only sex act and see how the person grows up.
You know, like there are those psychologists who like raise their kids not knowing, like never describing a color or something like that.
Or pain or using the word pain and using things like sensations.
That's a thing people try and do with language.
One guy raised his kid full Klingon to see how that turned out.
I mean, that would I think that would create better outcomes, equitable outcomes for people to know that it's about mutual satisfaction.
Right.
You know, 16, 19, I think by saying that you're already establishing the relationship of this synergistic sex act where one and the two people have to supply each other with the pleasure rather than like fucking.
Yeah.
Because then you'll go down some thing, just search a weird porno,
and you'll be like,
just pump away,
and that's it.
Exactly.
Rather than getting in that good 69 literature.
And it transcends like sexuality,
gender,
like anyone can 69 anyone.
Like you don't have to presume
your kids are going to be like doing,
you know,
straight,
straight sex.
Yeah.
Right.
It keeps it vague.
Keep it vague.
No genital descriptions. Yo, your mouth on what they got, their mouth on what straight sex. Right. It keeps it vague. No general descriptions.
Yo, your mouth on what they got,
their mouth on what you got.
That's it. That's all you need to know.
Get it popping, baby.
And they're like, Mr. Gray,
we've had a lot of complaints
for whatever you're teaching when you're
substituting in the math class.
What's numbers, ain't it?
Oh, I got some math for you.
Okay, six plus some math for you. Yeah. Okay. Six plus nine
equals
satisfied partner.
Okay.
Okay.
What are we learning about?
Oh, you're only doing division yet?
Okay.
I forgot.
Sorry, kids.
I was just thinking
the two things we've projected
is a world
where the Titanic
doesn't sink
and a world
where 69ing is the basis
for explaining all sex to people.
Yeah, let's do it.
Incredible. Better world.
Chills.
What is something you think is
underrated?
Underrated, and if any of you listeners
follow my Twitter, you've seen me talking about
this a lot recently, is this artist named Swarty.arty and i texted miles about this yesterday swarty is this
artist who was formerly of the group the m machine and has struck out on their own solo i used to i
mean struck out is it i feel like it's the wrong phrase because it means to go out on your own but
it also has the obligation of like failing because you strike out but like they've gone out on their
own to home run on their own exactly home run on their own right as this as this odd yes in my personal opinion as this artist
extra base hit i don't know what that means but um it's just you know in this time of everybody
doing all of these like internet-based live sets like as music has tried to continue on in the
world of places like twitch and youtube and live stream format, you see a lot of people
doing performances where it's like their band or their DJ set either in front of a green screen or
in their garage or something. And it's like, that's really all people have right now. It's
like, I don't expect everyone to be performing on a fake huge stage or even a real stage of any kind.
But when someone takes the medium of like a film performance of some kind
and really goes all out with it,
I just have an extra appreciation for that.
And this set from this festival called Secret Sky,
hosted by Porter Robinson,
this artist Swarty did probably my favorite performance
I've seen in the last year.
I could not recommend it enough.
35 minutes long, beginning to end,
so well produced,
directed by this master puppeteer,
has all of this awesome music and awesome performance.
I really can't recommend it enough.
So if you get an opportunity,
go look up Swarty Secret Sky set on YouTube and you will not be disappointed.
Now we're going to need a spelling on that
because when I Google Swarty,
the first thing that comes up is Urban Dictionary,
a game played by homosexuals in which
they use their penises in the place of
swords replicating the popular sport
of fencing.
It is not that.
Maybe it's Swarty, but it's
S-W-A-R-D-Y.
What is that Urban Dictionary
fucking intro?
Mitch McConnell? Urban Dictionary is what we have now that Yahoo Answers is gone.
There you go.
But yeah, Swarty Secret Sky.
S-W-A-R-D-Y.
Secret Sky set on YouTube.
You just sit back, relax, and enjoy 35 minutes of really enjoyable vibes and masterful puppetry.
Very cool.
Very cool.
Oh, by the way, two things that have been recently,
or I guess Ana was saying, Chad,
is something worth
checking out
while we're talking about underrated shit.
I wanted to shout out
shows on Amazon Prime.
I'm on my second Amazon
Prime streaming show
that has no coverage.
They don't even have reviews for the second and third season.
Goliath with Billy Bob Thornton.
It's fucking good, man.
Netflix gets all the attention because everyone has it.
Nobody really pays attention.
I watched Patriot before.
That show's fucking good.
You can't find very many people there's just like a small subreddit talking about it yeah it took
somebody to tell me to watch it yeah for me to watch it that's the one where the dude is like
the cia spook but he does like folk music yeah yeah right and yeah it's good like it's i don't
know if it if it was on netflix people would be uh talking a lot
about but instead it's on earth fucker bezos channel right so i just want a bad press i feel
like he gets too much bad press and i just want to shout him out uh is his brand toxic
but like for these people who are making good shows that are just getting buried on his shitty platform like getting to see
billy bob thornton be a dirtbag lawyer uh is is fun anyways uh let's take a quick break and we'll
be right back how do you feel about this kids hi i'm ak Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit,
where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot,
the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the biscuits.
I was a lady rebel. Like, what does that even mean?
The Boone County Rebels will stay the Boone County Rebels with the image of the biscuits.
It's right here in black and white in the prints of a lion.
An individual that came to the school saying that God sent him to talk to me about the mascot switch.
As a leader, you choose hills that you want to die on.
Why would we want to be the losing team?
I'd just take all the other stuff out of it.
Segregation academies.
When civil rights said that we need to integrate public schools,
these charter schools were exempt from that.
Bigger than a flag or mascot.
You have to be ready for serious backlash.
Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
It was December 2019 when the story blew up.
In Green Bay, Wisconsin, former Packers star Kabir Bajabiamila caught up in a bizarre situation.
KGB explaining what he believes led to the arrest of his friends at a children's Christmas play.
A family man, former NFL player, devout Christian, now cut off from his family and connected to a strange arrest. I am going to share my journey of how I went from Christianity to now a Hebrew Israelite.
I got swept up in Kabir's journey, but this was only the beginning.
In a story about faith and football, the search for meaning away from the gridiron
and the consequences for everyone involved.
You mix homesteading with guns and church
and a little bit of the spice of conspiracy theories that we liked.
Voila! You got straight away.
I felt like I was living in North Korea, but worse, if that's possible.
Listen to Spiraled on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
When you think of Mexican culture, you think of avocado, mariachi, delicious cuisine, and of course, lucha libre. get your podcasts. It's tradition. It's culture. This is Lucha Libre Behind the Mask, a 12-episode podcast in both English and Spanish
about the history and cultural richness of Lucha Libre.
And I'm your host, Santos Escobar,
the emperor of Lucha Libre and a WWE superstar.
Santos! Santos!
Join me as we learn more about the history behind this spectacular sport
from its inception in the United States
to how it became a global symbol of Mexican culture.
We'll learn more about some of the most iconic heroes in the ring.
This is Lucha Libre Behind the Mask.
Listen to Lucha Libre Behind the Mask
as part of My Cultura Podcast Network
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you stream podcasts.
Hello, everyone. I am Lacey Lamar.
And I'm Amber Ruffin, I am Lacey Lamar. And I'm Amber Ruffin,
a better Lacey Lamar.
Boo.
Okay, everybody,
we have exciting news to share.
We're back with season two
of the Amber and Lacey,
Lacey and Amber show
on Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network.
You thought you had fun last season?
Well, you were right.
And you should tune in today
for new fun segments
like Sister Court
and listening to Lacey's
steamy DMs. We've got new and exciting guests like Michael Beach. That's my husband. Daphne
Spring, Daniel Thrasher, Peppermint, Morgan J. and more. You got to watch us. No, you mean you
have to listen to us. I mean, you can still watch us, but you got to listen. Like if you're watching
us, you have to tell us like if you're out the window, you have to say, hey, I'm watching you outside of the window.
Just just you know what?
Listen to the Amber and Lacey Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back and let's talk about just vaccines in general uh and how the republicans are handling the whole situation on like you know what the fact that there is clear science saying
this is good for the country yeah what so where are we at
imagine telling your child sex is missionary style their whole lives and then you introduce
someone called 69 and you're like what the hell i thought it was it was just straight boring
missionary what is this 69 thing i don't know i don't like that this is kind of where republicans
are at with screaming at their base about how no one knows
what's going on with COVID.
Not even science.
Not even the doctors.
Not even the experts.
So why are they making us do this stuff?
They don't even know.
If you remember, that has been like the rhetorical thrust of their entire fucking everything
they've been saying this last year.
Nobody know who gives nobody knows anything.
So there's a real problem now because on top of that they
also had you know trump who almost died from the fucking virus and then refused to let people see
that he got vaccinated even though he told people he did he's like i don't want them to see my upper
cover of night can you put an up jewel sheet over the my arm when the injection is given
sort of feels like what his vibes may have been but i would have now to see that just
to him in like a sleeveless going in for the jack for the backs we've been through enough man we
don't need to see him but just now but if you're looking at the numbers like clearly we're the
numbers are falling off in terms of inoculations and like the people who want them seem to have
be in the process of getting them which leaves a huge chunk of people who are like not fucking with it at all.
And when you look at who is not getting the vaccine, if you're a vaccine skeptic, you might be a Republican because and male essentially more than anything.
And when you look at how herd immunity is absolutely what we need for any semblance of the olden days to come back, none of that's going to happen.
We have millions of these assholes who are treating the vaccine like the last chance saloon for their toxic egos to put up a fight, to be like, no, I'm not giving in to this.
This is the last thing I'll do.
So now there's a thing called the Republican Doctors caucus where they're members of congress who are
also doctors physicians eugenicists and they are here to give a stern talking to to the republican
voters that are passing like i'm good i'm not getting that 5g shot and i want to play this
commercial for you because it's so fucking creepy that i'm already becoming a vaccine skeptic based
on all these republicans being like man, you should get the shot.
So here is the message from the concerned physicians of the Republican Party.
You today, not only as a United States senator, but as a physician concerned for the health and safety of our nation.
And today I want to talk with you about getting your COVID vaccine.
Last year, the entire world was forced to face the COVID-19 pandemic head on.
And now we, the American people, have the opportunity to achieve peace of mind.
And live life as free as before by choosing to receive a COVID-19 vaccine.
Okay.
Everybody had to wear their fucking doctor's coat to remind you.
It's like, I'm not just a racist on TV.
I'm a doctor on the side, too. I'm also racist on TV. I'm a doctor on the side, too.
I'm also a sous chef.
I mean, doctor on the side.
You can tell.
They all, like, have the same face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do I have face blindness?
Or do they all have the exact same face?
No, no.
They all look exactly alike.
It's wild.
Like, I could have drawn all these guys before this video started.
And I've never seen them before in my life.
And for people who have not seen this, you can catch catch you can see the link in the footnotes but it has like it feels
like a sketch where you're in a dystopian world where like you're like wait y'all are believing
these fucking people because like i'm already suspect of them like just even though they're
saying shit i'm like that's right people should uh you know think about their futures and being
healthy uh this thing is two minutes long, but I just want to go.
They start going on by talking about how we will get our freedoms back,
and they start using this freedom pitch.
So I just want to play you the last 30 seconds.
The freedom to do whatever Bill Gates tells me.
Yeah, exactly.
Where this angry man in a lab coat tries to just softly encourage you
to get your vaccination.
And over 90% of doctors in the united states have already chosen to get vaccinated i look forward
to the freedom that i along with my loved ones will regain once the vast majority of americans
are vaccinated if everyone does their part in the coming weeks we will once again be able to worship
together as a congregation gather Gather with extended family.
Okay, so there you go.
They're on the freedom train.
We'll have freedom.
And 90% of doctors have been vaccinated.
I don't know if that is going to necessarily convince those people.
They're not very charismatic, should we say?
The backdrop is also a giant syringe,
which I don't think is the thing
that you want to put forward like at the front of your message to these people who are just clearly
very scared of needles and don't like ouchies and are trying to incorporate that into their uh
into like some brave political belief yeah what they need to put in the background is like a brett michaels concert right yeah yeah
it's almost like whoever made the video just searched covid clip art yeah because yeah it's
so like just fucking archaic looking but i just want to say this remember the guy who
just we saw in the lab coat who was like 90 of doctors blah blah blah his name is senator
roger marshall uh-huh and he also for some reason put out an op-ed uh in the kansas city paper today
kind of going against everything he just said in that video which he's towing this weird fucking
line where he's just like i don't know if you guys know what the heck's going on because like he had
to pivot to biden bad or everything bad.
I just want to read you some excerpts from this.
He says, he talks on talking about why,
why are vaccination rates so low in Kansas?
What's going on?
He says, in fact, almost half of Kansas,
Kansas adults are uncertain about getting vaccinated.
Why?
Because like with most information surrounding the virus,
politicians and bureaucrats in Washington,
DC have not been transparent or consistent as they share the science surrounding the vaccine.
Oh, man, you were just trying to tell people easy, nicey, nicey.
Get the vaccine.
Get the vaccine.
Then you put out your op and be like, man, these people don't the fuck they're doing.
They have they have these people on such off footing constantly. He then says federal bureaucrats have changed directions with no meaningful explanation, no end game in sight and no consistency.
And blaming Anthony Fauci. It's like, were y'all do you not forget you?
You were the problem. You were everything you just described.
You were the virus with the politicians not being transparent or consistent.
are consistent yeah i mean it does make me feel good that like all the times that their central message is just incompatible with survival like it's just they can't they can't coexist like that
ideology and then just like anything about a healthy community like they just can't do it
and right so he has to completely contradict himself to
to get out there like that's got to be killing them a little bit right like just slowly on the
inside no like doesn't that give you cancer if you're like going out there being like and i am
a doctor also so i know that this is where cancer comes from going out there saying the medical
truth in like a poorly produced video
and then screaming at the top of your lungs,
they're lying to you!
At a certain level,
your soul dies a little bit.
You have to imply that they had a soul
to begin with.
I feel like for the most part,
people like that
don't have an inner world.
I don't think that they give a fuck.
They're just lizards out in the sun.
They are.
They're lizards out in the sun baking in the hot LA weather.
Right.
And then, hey, with a high of 84 and a low of 60.
Yeah.
But it really, like, I think with...
Sorry, I don't know why I took it back to a place of local weather but i had i don't know
we had to yeah we had just called genius comedy it's a callback and with and these republican
doctors i think because more than anything they when you're a republican doctor you don't take
you don't take the hippocratic oath you take the hypocritical motherfucker oath where you will
constantly contradict yourself and not say anything consistent and he goes on to just saying
bureaucrats can't keep us from worshiping,
gathering with extended family,
traveling near and far with friends,
enjoying life mask free.
I hope you'll join me in choosing to receive the vaccine.
Wait,
which one is it?
You're mad at them.
You're being like,
yo,
they fucked up.
It's like they're,
cause they're trying to keep the energy up that Bideniden bad still but also like let's be real all the business
owners that donate to me they know people need to get vaccinated for their businesses to actually
pick back up because the science will prevent that from happening so i don't know they're i
think this is the other thing too is they don't realize or, is they don't realize or rather. Yeah, they don't realize we've constantly talked about how the Republicans whole sort of platform of just untethering their supporters from reality is just a weird game to play, because if you really need to explain something to them, they're not going to understand.
Like, because the whole platform has been off.
No, that ain't shit.
That ain't real.
Nothing's real.
And you went from, OK, well, actually, we need y'all to get the vaccine, please.
Actually, that was
just a lot of nonsense. Or, you
know what? Actually, the election wasn't
stolen. It was just a lot of
fuck. All right, too late, huh?
Like, I don't know how you come back.
It's, yeah.
They're completely fucked in terms
of, like, internal cohesion
and internal, like, integrity of any sort of message.
I mean, I think it's like they can have the worst PR plan of all time that completely just eats its own ass.
And still, as long as everyone just hates the same thing enough, they'll just be fine.
Because it's all just based on hating the same list of like they'll just be fine because it's like all just based on like hating
the same like list of things like really hardcore well yeah it's just truly all they can do now is
just try and create hatred because yeah they can't do policy they can't do anything else they really
can't do anything else you know it's like fuck it we need to put hate towards trans people
fuck it we need to put hate towards the scientific community or
vaccines because they don't have the wherewithal anymore to actually like they're not they're not
fiscal conservatives or balancing them they're not any of that shit anymore and it's so no it's
just it's just like let's all hate the same let's all just be like incredibly hateful and like
ride the hate wave like the player haters ball let's talk
Tucker
Tucker Carlson
what's he reaching for these days
I mean just again
there's so many real things
to talk about but right now Republicans have to
find anything but the actual
things to talk about so right
now because our president joey badass is
out here saying like we're relaxing the mask uh fucking protocols you don't have to wear it if
you're vaxxed and outdoors unless you're in a crowd and all this stuff because that's been a
huge thing of being like where are we at with masks outdoors what are you saying to do what
are you saying not to do so tucker carlson spent so
much time about this idea of masks as a few different things first he was likening it to
child abuse where he is like as for forcing children to wear masks outside that should be
illegal because he's going on this whole thing about how it's like part of your mental obedience
to like the party so it's like wearing a Kim Jong-un pin or something in North Korea.
That's what you do to wear your mask to show fealty,
to demonstrate fealty.
And so he's just talking about like,
if you see someone like a child wearing a mask,
like it should be no different than what your response would be.
If you see someone beating a child in a Walmart,
call the police is what he says.
How is it hurting the child? Does he have a
read on that? Well, what you're looking at is abuse. It's child abuse, and you are morally
obligated to attempt to prevent it. If it's your own children being abused, then act accordingly,
which I will play you this clip because he starts talking about what to do if, again,
if let's say it was your kid
and you are morally obligated to attempt to prevent it if it's your own children being abused
then act accordingly let's say your kid's school emailed you to announce that every day after lunch
your sixth grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher how would you respond to that
that's precisely how you should respond when they tell you that
your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field that is unacceptable dangerous and we should act
like it because it is dangerous because he says like they're zealots only zealots wear masks then
he had this other thing he's like 64 of white liberals have been diagnosed with some kind of
mental health issue and so that's why they were called them neurotics
yeah neurotics wear them uh it's like this whole it's just so all over the place it's truly you're
like i don't even know like that's a jump right to say yeah they're punching your kid in the face
every every time tucker carlson speaks it's like when somebody like you know in in like your class
in high school when you were like assigned what side you have to be on for a topic and it's like when somebody like you know in in like your class in high school when you were
like assigned what side you have to be on for a topic and it's just like he like didn't do the
work he's just like really trying to like hustle on this side that like doesn't make any sense and
he just is like saying insane shit like he was talking earlier i watched the clip that you guys
had in this in this doc about like he's like if you see someone wearing a mask stop them and say please take off your mask you're making me uncomfortable
so is your maga hat yeah let's just be on our way huh you're a piece of shit and i believe in
science all right see you later it's like yeah you're making me uncomfortable as well. What? Again, it's just all this weird way to try and he's trying to create more outrage among the base to be more confrontational in public.
It's so transparently clear that this is meant to whip them into a friend.
Just get everybody so excited about this idea of masks that all he can do is be like they're punching your kids in the face
they're zealots what's going on you better tell them to not wear a mask like it the outrage is
really it's wearing thin and you know what's wild it got fucking weirder in the episode
in terms of what he's likening to mask wearing he had look i'm just he had a guest on and i don't know
it was oh actually it's actually fucking matt walsh and they were talking about like cb yeah
matt washington he's the big one of the four he's out here uh but again talking about what it means
to be a man wearing a mask uh-huh oh you know i had the same experience you're talking about i
was in austin uh a few days ago and i'm walking outside without a mask on and people are staring at me
like I'm the crazy one for not having a mask on. Meanwhile, if you're if you're walking outside
with a mask on, I should be looking at you. And I do look at you like like I would look at a grown
man hugging a teddy bear and having a pacifier in his mouth while he's walking down the street.
This is your security blanket. There's no reason for you to have it on. You're just afraid. You're afraid of fresh air.
That's what's happening. People are afraid to breathe air. And we're making it so that kids
are afraid of air, too. And that's insane to me. I agree with you completely. I would even actually
up the analogy and say a vaccinated person with antibodies wearing a mask outside is like watching
Grumman expose himself in public.
That's disgusting. Put it away, please.
Okay. What the fuck are
you talking about? What does that even mean?
What? I don't
again, this is like the same shit
as like, this has nothing to do with you. This has
actually nothing to
do with you. If you want to be
the freaky piece of shit who alienates themselves
because they don't want to wear a mask to consider others then so be it but someone else wearing it has a fuck all to
do with these people but like that's why it's so bizarre that like tucker's like yeah i mean you're
basically like you're you're gay if you wear a mask dude like you're what are you gonna be like
a fucking little boy with a baby fucking like what are you gonna do take your penis out but he's like his sense of
the world is so like just dominated by misogyny and white supremacy like because because uh
guys running around exposing themselves as a crime that is like only perpetuated by like
middle-aged white guys like him he is like he's like that that i feel like he can't
think of that as being a like that bad a thing so he's like i mean it's the same thing basically
because i personally think it's weird and so that's anything i think is weird is the same
across the board same as uh sexual assault basically it's like hanging brain in public it's also like were
people looking at you or were you like mad dogging people who were wearing masks and then they look
back at you like why are you looking at me yes these people yeah that's exactly gives this shit
about you yeah so thirsty to be able to turn your fucking cell phone on and record your stupid
rhetorical martyrdom video where you're like
and i i actually i'm wearing it because i believe in science actually it's all of you all in here
who are afraid of air no one fucking said i just want to say i am afraid of air though just to be
clear i'm scared and i am a neurotic and i am neurotic neurotic to the bone no doubt about it
you know what i mean i sometimes I do give myself the creeps.
Just continuing the lyrics.
Sometimes I like to
kiss Fauci.
That was the only thing in that video.
The only safe person to kiss, by the way.
He calls him Tony. He's like Tony Fauci.
It's like, you don't know him.
I'll call him Tony.
It's like when he talks it talks about his friend
antonio bandera says tony flags we're close so uh all right let's talk about marco rubio the other
we we might as well just get through all of the shit that is happening in the soul. Mental inversions. The tortured soul of the Republicans right now.
So Marco Rubio is pissed at corporations.
To the point that he's basically threatening to become a socialist.
Is that basically where we're at?
Based Rubio.
Dude, Comrade Rubio.
Hold it down down fucking throw down
the gauntlet for these corporations please vis-a-vis your op-ed that you wrote he's got this
whole thing in the new york post where all my favorite op-eds are yeah exactly that's when you
know it's some real next level analysis coming through from a racist and they can't believe like his whole thing is like
these corporate monsters we fed for so long. Why are they going to pivot to like woke stuff
and do things like act in their own self-interest because they're reading the tone of society?
What's happening? So this is what he says. He run this op-ed in the beginning. This is just
like sort of in the middle. He said, said quote to help our corporations fulfill their patriotic role the gop especially enacted
business-friendly policies we kept tax rates low slashed red tape where appropriate and limited
the reach of labor unions but wow but somewhere along the line corporations began prioritizing
short-term financial windfalls and ruthless offshoring yeah wow okay that's true and you did do all that
you have been limiting the ability of labor to organize go on sir he says quote corporate
america began to view these good jobs families communities and even the nation as an afterthought
american workers of all backgrounds suffered as a result corporate greed annihilated an entire way
of life yep yeah, so you were aware
of all that? And you were still
doing this shit?
The quid pro quo that he
outlines here
is way too
honest. He's like, no, we were helping
y'all out so you would keep us in power
and you were annihilating
the American families and we were fucking
cool with that. But now it's gone too be on now you're gonna be on fucking megan markle's side
like it's so dumb because it's all just about the fact that they don't that because
anyway let's keep going because he's like because i'll do something about it yeah this is what he's
gonna do quote cutting corporate taxes and especially investment taxes makes sense if U.S. companies are going to invest in American industry.
But if they're instead prioritizing offshoring operations or simply returning windfalls to shareholders, then policymakers are going to start being more careful in how we structure tax cuts.
Oh, what?
Go on. structure tax cuts oh what go on like i'm gonna tell the fucking truth if you don't start uh
backing us in these fucking political you better defend de facto white supremacy you fucks so then
he goes on so first he's saying i'll get rid of your tax cuts next employer-friendly labor laws
make sense in a world where corporate ceos feel an obligation to their fellow countrymen and workers but the logic of resisting labor representation on behalf of corporate management
falls apart if an american worker is no different to the corporation than any other input wow yeah
you will cut these tax breaks and make it easier for labor to get organized thank you marco what what does he start talking about the wokeness like
is that the beginning of the article or where where does this come from i mean this is yeah
in the beginning he's just sort of talking about all the things that's happening with georgia
and like companies just starting to like speak up about societal issues when they're like you guys
used to do this like what, what is this now?
Right.
And it's just,
it's,
and I think this is the problem they're finding themselves in.
They're so confused and they don't realize the absurdity of their ideology,
which is so,
it's so regressive that you're not going to go anywhere except backwards and
eventually hit a wall because you've,
you're burning up any chance you have of any kind of forward movement.
So yeah,
you're someone like Marco Rubio.
You're like, you have to be against all this wokeness from these companies. But since you've been on the side of corporate profiteering,
your only pivot can only lead to progressive policy.
Like that's the only thing.
So you know what?
Congratulations.
You won an iPod.
Wow. Wow. the only thing you so you know what congratulations wow wow i have a headache from this essay by by marco like they don't i don't know it's just so many different directions yeah blunt to them for
being like blunt to the court companies like we'll get rid of your tax breaks and we'll let people
get you want you want organized labor it's's like, yeah, the people do.
Actually, it shows that people have better outcomes when they're when they're unionized in every industry.
But the stuff he's like saying, if you do this, that's stuff they've already been doing for 20 years that you're talking about, like offshoring all your profits and treating the workers like shit.
like offshoring all your profits and treating the workers like shit like what the only like it has nothing to do with whatever fucking wokeness he's objecting to so he's just basically describing
like the state of the american worker and i'm like corporate america and then being like, and that's, well, I'll describe it out loud again if you keep criticizing us.
Yeah, even the company's like, yo, shut up, dude.
Right.
I mean, like, we get what you're saying, but like, do you hear yourself?
I feel like this started as an email, a private email.
And he's like, you know what?
This makes a lot of sense.
I'm going to turn it into an op-ed.
of sense i'm gonna turn it into an op-ed because yeah the shit he's saying like that logic works in an email where it's like between donors and politicians who are like look we let you fuck
people over and in return you do the you fuck people over in the specific way we're describing
but yeah that's that's wild man yeah there you love to see it this has been another
segment of uh you hate to see it uh where we check in with the republicans with the based
republican yeah all right let's take a another quick break and we'll be right back.
Hello, everyone.
I am Lacey Lamar.
And I'm Amber Ruffin, a better Lacey Lamar.
Boo.
Okay, everybody, we have exciting news to share.
We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network.
You thought you had fun last season?
Well, you were right.
And you should tune in today for new fun segments like Sister Court and listening to Lacey's steamy DMs.
We've got new and exciting guests like Michael Beach. That's my husband.
Daphne Spring, Daniel Thrasher, Peppermint, Morgan J., and more.
You gotta watch us.
No, you mean you have to listen to us.
I mean, you can still watch us, but you gotta listen. Like, if you're watching us, you have to watch us. No, you mean you have to listen to us. I mean, you can still watch us, but you got to listen.
Like, if you're watching us, you have to tell us.
Like, if you're out the window, you have to say, hey, I'm watching you outside of the window.
Just, you know what?
Listen to the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
It was December 2019 when the story blew up. In Green Bay, Wisconsin, former Packers star Kabir Bajabiamila caught up in a bizarre situation.
KGB explaining what he believes led to the arrest of his friends at a children's Christmas play.
A family man, former NFL player, devout Christian, now cut off from his family and connected to a strange arrest.
I am going to share my journey of how I went from Christianity to now a Hebrew Israelite.
I got swept up in Kabir's journey.
But this was only the beginning in a story about faith and football, the search for meaning away from the gridiron, and the consequences for everyone involved.
You mix homesteading with guns and church
and a little bit of the spice of conspiracy theories that we liked.
Voila! You got straight away.
I felt like I was living in North Korea, but worse, if that's possible.
Listen to Spiraled on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
How do you feel about biscuits?
Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit, where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the biscuits.
I was a lady rebel.
Like, what does that even mean?
The Boone County Rebels i mean the boone county rebels
will stay the boone county rebels with the image it's right here in black and white and prints
a lion individual that came to the school saying that god sent him to talk to me about the mascot
switch is a leader you choose hills that you want to die on why would we want to be the losing team
that just i just take all the other stuff out of it.
Segregation academies.
When the civil rights said that we need to integrate public schools,
these charter schools were exempt from that.
Bigger than a flag or mascot.
You have to be ready for serious backlash.
Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
When you think of Mexican culture, you think of avocado, mariachi, Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and much more than just entertainment. Lucha Libre is a type of storytelling. It's a dance. It's tradition.
It's culture.
This is Lucha Libre Behind the Mask,
a 12-episode podcast in both English and Spanish about the history and cultural richness of Lucha Libre.
And I'm your host, Santos Escobar,
the emperor of Lucha Libre and a WWE superstar.
Santos! Santos!
Join me as we learn more about the history
behind this spectacular sport from
its inception in the United States to how it became a global symbol of Mexican culture.
We'll learn more about some of the most iconic heroes in the ring. This is Lucha Libre Behind
the Mask. Listen to Lucha Libre Behind the Mask as part of My Cultura Podcast Network
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts.
And we're back.
So there's a couple that were planning their dream wedding in Florida.
They had the venue picked out.
They did not let the fact that they had no access to that venue stop them from literally planning their wedding and going there on the day of.
They did everything.
They set up a wedding website.
They got motherfucking vendors to set up for this wedding.
Everything.
Invitations, all this happening, where they said,
inviting friends and family to celebrate at their dream home and estate.
And you look at the photos, like, this shit is gigantic.
It has a tennis court and bar and pool, all that shit.
But unfortunately, even though they did say in their wedding website,
they actually said that God had intervened to reunite them after 30 years for Courtney and Shanita to get married at this estate.
Except the problem was on wedding day,
the owner of the house just saw a bunch of people setting up.
And I just want to take it from this call where he calls the police so confused
because there's a bunch of vendors and shit trying to set up a wedding at his property.
When the wedding party showed up Saturday morning to set up,
the homeowner called 911.
I have people trespassing on my property and they keep harassing me, calling me.
And they say they're having a wedding here and it's God's message.
Perturbed and so they kept telling him.
The whole thing was this old man had put this house on the market a few months ago.
And this dude came through through saw the house and was
like hey i think we might be i think we could have a wedding here and nobody would fucking figure it
out hey man i say this fucking genius if the shit had worked yeah right if the shit had worked
execution execution if this shit had worked this would, this is a story you tell to your
motherfucking kids. Let me
tell you what we did for our wedding.
This is a story of a lifetime
if this shit worked.
If that motherfucker didn't come back in town
and he wasn't there,
let me tell you something. And this shit
got executed and you made it,
you made it to your motherfucking honeymoon
and that's a story that people talk
about how amazing your fucking wedding was.
Yo, you are legendary.
You are fucking legends.
Your wedding goes down as
wow, that's the best wedding I've ever been to in my life.
Right? But in your
story, you know what fucking
you know that shit ain't yours.
Hey, this shit
trumps. This shit just trumps
going to someone's
motherfucking barbecue
and you riding down the street,
you see a dope ass cookout
and you say,
shit,
I'm about to pull over,
park this motherfucking car,
put these fucking flip flops on
and I'm going to blend
the fuck in.
I got a case of beer in the trunk.
I'm going to carry this
case of beer.
I'm going to carry this fucking case of beer in this motherfucking backyard.
Put this bitch down.
Open it up.
So I put these motherfuckers in the cooler.
And no one's going to know the difference.
See, now this shit right here, it's a lot more moving parts.
See, the more moving parts you have, the harder it is to get this shit executed.
This is not like going to a motherfucking cookout.
I promise you.
No.
There's levels to this shit.
But if this fucking dude wasn't home,
if he wasn't home,
let me tell you something.
This shit would have been down in history.
Now, what do you think they told their guests, though?
Because that's the second part.
Because at a certain point,
they'd be like,
wait, what happened to the wedding? it's like ah shit if i was if i was my if that was my wedding invitation i say look i would write down and find print at the bottom of that
hey don't ask me a motherfucking thing i would have that right there in tiny writing
don't ask me a motherfucking thing enjoy Enjoy yourself and mind your motherfucking business.
Right there.
Right at the base.
Right at the bottom of that fucking invite.
Shut the fuck up and enjoy yourself.
It's wild too because like, and they were cool about it.
Once the cops came, they're like, do you own this place?
They're like, nah, but God has willed us to be married here.
And they're like, nah, you don't own this.
So God ain't doing shit.
That's your go-to.
That's your go-to. That's your go-to.
You go to that, that becomes your alibi and your excuse.
You know how people use God as an alibi?
Right.
God is everybody's alibi.
You know what I'm saying?
You throw that in there, you're hoping that this cop is religious and he understands that
sometimes you're calling, you get a call in sometimes and you got to do what you got to
do.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, hey, I hear you.
This falls under the category that I call when you want to make something happen and you're at the threshold of trying to make something happen.
You are subject to what a lot of people in prison are subject to, the fuck it syndrome.
Fuck it.
fuck it syndrome.
When you are past logical thinking and you
enter the realm of fuck it,
a lot of people are in jail
because of fuck it.
They were at a threshold
and they said, fuck man,
I'm fucking broke. I need to hit this bank,
man. I got this fucking mask. I'm going
to this fucking bank and make it happen.
You have officially crossed
the fuck it, the fuck it line. Fuck it. I got nothing to go on this fucking bank and make it happen. You have officially crossed the fuck it, the fuck it line.
Fuck it.
I ain't got nothing to lose.
Fuck it.
These people had nothing to lose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If this shit work, this shit work.
If this shit don't work, fuck it, man.
All you're going to do is say, get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck off my property.
And they did.
And it was all good.
That's it.
No citations, nothing.
That's it.
Of course.
We tried.
You took a swing at it. You took a swing at it.
You took a swing at life.
And shit didn't work.
It was almost like, yeah.
It didn't fucking work.
It's like that Embiid half court shot that almost went in the other day.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Full court.
Or full court, yeah.
Exactly.
You're like, fuck, it almost went in.
It was so close.
Almost had the wedding.
But hit what they should have done.
The only person they should have let in on everything would have been the officiant or the pastor or whoever they got running things.
Make it the religion of the homeowner.
Exactly.
You say, look, man, we had to make this shit happen.
I love this woman.
She loves me.
We need to make this shit happen today.
So I need you
to be on the same page
as my wife,
my future wife,
and myself.
If you see anybody,
if you hear police cars,
if you see fucking
cars rolling up,
if you see motherfuckers
walking into the backyard
four or five deep
in uniforms,
or if you see
a homeowner
come out that
fucking back door,
you rush that shit as fast as you can back door, you rush that shit fast as
you can and say, you may kiss the
bride, motherfucker. Just get it done.
You feel me? Just get that shit.
Speed the fuck, man. You speed the
fuck up, man. Because we're taillights in about
five minutes. We're taillights. You speed
that shit the fuck up and say, everybody enjoy
yourselves. And you say, I want you to
say this. I want you to say this too.
Say, hey. You say, I do.
May kiss the bride.
Everybody, we're going to meet at Buffalo Wild Wings or wherever.
Or wherever you want to fucking meet.
You yell out something so everybody know where the after party is going to be at.
After party, you know, at our real house or whatever.
At our real house over on Culver Drive.
Shit.
It feels like something. Y'all know where I live something y'all know where i live y'all know my other house is that you know that's where we're gonna cook out
at my other house yeah actually or my mama's house whichever one whoever gets there first
it feels like one of those things too yeah where you like you heard about this happen
generations ago we're like you know my uncle did this in the 70s where he saw a house
and it feels
like that idea tried to be done
in 2021 and you're like, yo, technology
is so far gone. There's no way
you can just pull up to a big ass mansion
like that and just make this thing work. But it feels like
it was inspired by a
true, like they got this idea
from somebody.
This is going to be a good rom-com
for sure oh yeah you got oh yeah yeah a stressful people have this has worked people have had full
ass parties right in these fucking mansions in beverly hills they have gotten away with this
shit i'm telling you you can do it the person you gotta research the person make sure they're out
of the country or somewhere right and you know but and you gotta you can do it. The person, you got to research the person, make sure they're out of the country or somewhere.
Right.
And, you know, but, and you got to, you know,
but also everybody's fucking alarm system
is hooked to their phone, all their cameras and shit.
They can see everything going on
through their fucking phone at their house.
You got to find some way to conceal that motherfucker.
Yeah.
Got to have a loop.
You got to do the camera that's in the back
that's aiming towards the yard.
You got to get like a fake ass bird
or some shit
that motherfucking thing
that's a fucking bird
in front of the camera
I hate those fucking birds
you'll never think
you won't think twice
fucking bird
you'll turn your phone off
and continue your motherfucking vacation
out of town
meanwhile
that bird is concealing
that full ass wetting
in that backyard.
Right.
Ooh, that fake-ass bird.
That's all you fucking need.
Fake-ass bird.
Just off the strength
of this episode,
right now we have
a vegan cooking show
with you, JB,
and also JB Wedding Planner.
Wedding Planner show, too.
I like Wedding Impossible.
Wedding Impossible.
I was going to say that.
Wedding Impossible.
Oh, shit.
That's the name of the movie
right there.
This is about love.
This is about fucking love right now. I'm trying to unite people
and shit. These people want to be together
by any means necessary.
They're going to be together. I'm going to make that
shit happen. I'm going to make that shit happen.
I'm just thinking of how you... So you have them win a fake
contest for like a cruise
and then you just pay for their cruise maybe?
But it's a shitty cruise.
So there's a little money spent up front to get the owners out of the house yeah to get the owners out they
win they fucking win something yeah yeah yeah exactly you gotta get them a fuck out of there
get the fuck out of there yeah yeah another great thing is this you hire a fake ass uh what do you
call those guys uh exterminators and shit yes this fucking house this fucking yeah
this is i'm telling you you tell them that several homeowners in the area it's an infestation
of fucking termites right fucking bugs and they're all inside your fucking walls
you wouldn't see them they're in your walls just eating your fucking house away so what should i do
right what do you what do you suggest well you what? Here's what we have, a special sale going on at
our company. We are, what we're doing is
this, you know, for your business
and for your referrals to your other friends
and anyone who has any problems with insects,
we're giving away a free cruise
to the Bahamas.
Wow. To the Bahamas.
Exterminator cruise. But it's worth it
because, it's fucking worth it because
what does it cost?
A wedding costs way more than that? Yeah you can invest to take a portion of your budget and put that shit towards that trip all expense paid yeah take care you don't worry about it you
gotta drink tickets you get all that shit enjoy yourself enjoy yourself you come back you're gonna
have a fucking a fucking uh a home that's safe and fucking insect free.
Boom.
Shit.
Find out what washed 90s band they're a fan of.
Oh, man.
Yo, it's the 311 crew.
Oh, right, right.
Enjoy themselves.
Enjoy yourself.
I don't remember entering this contest.
I don't remember doing this.
They're like, Poison is doing a cruise.
Do you want to go see that?
What?
I love Poison.
Yeah, great, great, man.
Here, we got your van right here.
Take you to Fort Lauderdale so you can bomb voyage it.
You know what would be a dope-ass cruise?
The Wu-Tang Cruise.
That should be dope.
That would be dope.
Woo!
The Wu-Tang Cruise?
The 36 Chambers?
Like, I mean, whoa.
What do you call that?
The whole thing is themed out.
Oh, my God.
I would go on that shit.
Woo!
I mean, woo! Call that shit. Woo. I mean.
Woo.
Woo.
Call that shit Woo Cruise.
Okay.
Woo.
Come on, man.
Damn.
Woo Cruise.
We need that.
That shit kind of dope.
That's dope.
I need that shit in my life.
The Woo Cruise.
Woo.
Woo.
But can they get all nine members to show up at the same time?
That's the hard part.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
If you do that shit in advance and let people know what's coming up
I just don't want Capadonna
to step in for somebody
who's not there
I'm like Capadonna where's you
God where's you God
I don't see golden arms up here
this is a fucking tragedy and I want my money back
alright that's gonna do it for this week's and I want my money back.
All right.
That's going to do it for this week's weekly Zeitgeist. Please like and review the show if you like the show.
It means the world to Miles.
He needs your validation, folks.
I hope you're having a great weekend, and I will talk to you Monday.
Bye. Thank you. We'll be right back. cuisine and even Lucha Libre. Join us for the new podcast Lucha Libre Behind the Mask,
a 12-episode podcast in both English and Spanish about the history and cultural richness of Lucha
Libre. And I'm your host, Santos Escobar, emperor of Lucha Libre and a WWE superstar.
Listen to Lucha Libre Behind the Mask on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
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