The Daily Zeitgeist - Weekly Zeitgeist 66 (Best of 3/11/19-3/15/19)
Episode Date: March 17, 2019The weekly round up of the best moments from DZ's Season 73 (3/11/19-3/15/19.) Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informat...ion.
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Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated.
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hello the internet and welcome to this episode of the weekly zeitgeist uh these are some of
our favorite segments from this week all edited together into one uh non-stop infotainment laugh stravaganza uh yeah
so without further ado here is the weekly zeitgeist what is something you think is overrated
eric oh countries uh i think nation states i'm starting to get done with it, right? I'm very thankful that, you know,
in my first 12 years of life,
I lived in seven countries
and now I live here and stuff.
Right.
And so I'm very lucky
that I get to actually experience life
in all the countries
and all the countries have problems,
all the countries have good things.
They've all got races.
They've all got lovely people.
And I'm like, let's just open up.
I'd like to just try and experiment
where we just open up our borders,
every single country, just to see what happens.
Oh, yeah, it'd be a party.
Because so far, borders haven't really worked.
Right.
So if anything, I'm like, fuck it, let's just open it up.
And also, surely, if you look at what's happened in history
and presently and in the future,
ultimately, we are going to become just one planet, right?
We don't need borders.
Let's just open it up.
Let's just party.
A free-for-all, yeah.
Let's party, baby.
International Federation, let's get it done.
Also, when the ice caps start melting and stuff,
the layout of the land is going to look so different.
We're going to have a mass migration everywhere.
Yep, there's going to be water everywhere.
People are going to be talking Portuguese.
Netherlands isn't going to exist anymore and stuff.
It's going to be beautiful.
I know.
That's really...
I know the Dutch are very worried about that.
Yeah.
Because they are below sea level.
And they're like, how do we fix our...
We're kind of in a bind here geographically.
They have like locks and like all sorts of...
Oh, yeah.
Like there's a very...
Yeah.
Like it's pretty remarkable what they've done.
Yeah, that's smart.
They'll work it out.
And actually, they flooded themselves a couple of times before in history
during the Spanish War that they had.
Whenever Spain would sort of come to attack them,
they were like, no, we don't want this.
Just flood the land.
And they flooded the land.
Because they're better at dealing with their land flooded than...
Which I quite liked.
I was like, oh, that's kind of cool.
Yeah.
It's what I do anytime I think there's a burglar in my house. Just flood it. Just flood it. Just keep flushing the toilet. If I quite liked. I was like, oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah. That's what I do anytime. I think there's a burglar in my house.
Just flood it.
Just flood it.
Just keep flushing the toilet.
If I hear something.
Oh, oh.
Turn all the sinks on.
Get all the showers going.
Yeah.
Shout out to William of Orange.
I will say open borders versus closed borders.
Open borders have the much better optics.
Like closed borders looks, if you want a quick way to make your country
look like world war one go to the border where the most locked down border it's just all fucking
barbed wire and people in like gas masks and are you saying open borders less scary less scary
and yeah and just you know acknowledge people's right to live and move around if they
like people that need opportunity like what the fuck are we doing i know that i know that like
i'm very lucky with my job that i get to travel and stuff but you know and it's not easy if you
want to travel and you've got two kids and so you know i appreciate that it's difficult for some
people but people need to get out of their own country yeah this is the world because and this
is every country but when they go my country's the best country in the world and i'm like oh yeah where else have you been i haven't been anywhere
else because it's the best and i'm like okay mate good data right right good yeah that's amazing
analysis there right this pizza is the best it's a margarita yeah what else have you tried have you
tried like a nice vegetarian one or supreme no i don't know what's that? Yeah, I'm like, oh, mate, come on. These bagel bites are the best pizza I've ever had.
Hey, you ever had a real pizza?
No, I don't need to.
Because this is the best.
Okay, well.
I bite my food, therefore, henceforth, bagel bite.
Herein, bagel bite is the new one.
I mean, when pizza's on a bagel, you can have pizza any time.
Yeah, that's true.
So let's be real here.
That is not wrong.
Miles has his pockets filled with bagel bites most of the time.
Yo, if I'm ever at your house and you have bagel bites, watch them disappear.
I won't cook them there.
I will put them in my pockets and I'll walk out with them.
You know what?
One day you two need to come to my house and maybe have a cup of tea and some bagel bites.
Yeah.
Oh, I would love to.
I've known you now for long enough that you should maybe hang out like real people what kind of tea uh well i actually have a nice variety oh wow
variety i didn't mean to do that check it just okay it came out the only tea i drink is brisk
baby iced tea yeah brisk okay that's the only kind i've ever had it's the only kind i ever need to
have jesus is there american but lipton is still an english product isn't it not i think so right I've ever had. It's the only kind I ever need to have. Jesus. Is there American,
but Lipton is still an English product.
Isn't it not?
I think so.
Right.
Because I don't think Americans,
you know,
tea wasn't our thing.
We're about the tabaki.
I don't think England created the brand
with like the giant block letters.
It was like brisk.
No, right.
Yeah.
And not to say that even English created tea.
Get your iced tea.
Remember those commercials that were claymation
and it was like Frank Sinatra and like fucking Sylvester Stallone,
and they're like, whoa, that's British, baby.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then he like came back to life.
Yeah.
Just love that shit.
Why don't we sell products like that?
My favorite British imports culturally, I think.
Sylvester Stallone?
Yeah.
What is, what's a myth?
What's something people think is true you know to be false
front of camera diversity solves the problem okay so now uh uh this is what i mean by that
uh and zig kind of tweeted something about this when he was talking about how uh uh he had to
fight the ad people over at the podcast company that he works at i I won't name them. Earwolf.
But like the problem is
we see, like you know, I'll even give you
an example. Captain Marvel I watched and I
thought it was okay. I thought it was fine. It wasn't
bad. It was definitely a good movie better than
some of the other superhero movies
that have come out. But when I saw
that a dude
also directed it, like it was a dude
and a woman, I was just like, that's not right. That's not right. It should have also, it was a dude and a woman I was just like that's not right that's
not right it should have also it should have just been a woman because I think that we think oh it's
a female-led superhero movie and we stopped there right but Black Panther would not be good even if
it was just a black dude if a white man had directed it it needed to be a black man directed
it it needs to be a black woman being a production designer it needs to be a black woman being a production designer. It needs to be as many black people behind the scenes because that's where the most important of decision making is happening.
It's not happening with the cast.
The cast has to show up and read their lines.
And it's dope to see people in those roles. that what's trash is like we have still a lot of white people behind the scenes that are making
these kind of decisions and things get lost in translation and it becomes like really hard to do
like i think about atlanta right where atlanta needed to hire david sims was a very very amazing
writer but he has to deal with fx on that on the show atlanta's behalf because the execs they're
dealing with are all white and they don't understand anything that this all black writer's room is telling them so you have to hire a white man in between
versus if they were just black execs at fx yeah at least one at least one sway the others like
i get it i get it bro gerald i get it and as someone who has been dealing with this shit like
you know all this time i'm i'm seeing it i'm hearing it i'm like you know i just wish sometimes that
there were more people of color behind the scenes you know casting directors execs producers all of
that stuff that would make the life so much easier because you have these black creatives
who are doing amazing work but their support systems are still white yeah the actual yeah
the infrastructure behind it is still, yeah, for sure.
Beale Street, I went to a screening at the Arclight, and I loved it.
Loved the movie.
I cried.
It was a beautiful fucking movie.
They bring out the talent.
Of course, you know, you got Stephon James, you got Kiki.
And then these are the next three people.
Dave Franco and the two white producers from Plan B.
And I'm just like,
and then they asked this question about like how,
like David O'Hara was the moderator.
And he's like,
how important is it to make a movie about black people that isn't about black struggle?
And the person who answered the question was the fucking white producer.
And that shit hurt me because,
and the white producer gave a terrible answer to the point where Lacey Mosley,
you know,
who is ballsy as fuck got up and went, you didn't answer the question.
She, like, yelled that shit out.
Which, like, you know, I would never do because, you know, I respect my money.
You still know the game.
I'm just kidding.
Lacey makes way more money than I ever will.
But, like, that, like, hurt me because I was just like, there was no black producer who could answer that question.
Because Barry wasn't there, you know what I'm know like like when green book won and you saw everybody
get on stage bro i'm sorry marsh the only fucking black guy that's what i'm saying and that's what
i'm saying is like and then i had this dude i was going through my instagram stories and i remembered
on like because you know i'll be roasting people and i went on and i remember that this dude tried
to explain to me that green book was a better black movie than Beale Street.
And I was just like, what makes that movie black besides the fact that there's one nigga in the movie?
Right, right, right.
But there's no black people on these teams.
There's no black people on it.
Like, you know, so I love front of camera diversity.
I love it.
But I want more black people behind the scenes.
It's about inclusion at every level.
That's why.
So like, I want to like tell people, you know, there's some people.
But this is where my call to action gets kind of trash look there's some of y'all out here that
are you know trying to be actors oh shit y'all trying to be writers look y'all just not as good
as it as some of the other people bro but y'all can still have an impact y'all might be a great
producer y'all might be a great producer bro we need it you might be a great casting director
like oh look it sounds like i'm joking, but I'm being for real.
There are other ways to be involved in this shit if you really care about it.
Because that's what these white people do.
They go in and go, shit, I want to be an actor, but I'm not that great at it.
So I'm going to go and I'm going to be a producer and I'm going to get my friends on.
We need to all do the same shit.
Also, good money in producing.
Great money in producing.
Real good money in producing.
That's why most actors, when they get on, the first thing that they do is make a in producing. That's why most actors when they get on the first thing they do
is make a production company.
That's the first thing
that they do.
Brad Pitt has produced
all your favorite black movies
from the last five years.
To be true.
It's crazy.
That is crazy.
But that's my myth
is that front of camera
diversity fixes the problem.
That's a great myth.
What is something
from your search history
that's revealing
about who you are?
My search history earns. I about who you are? My search history, urns.
I'm searching for urns right now.
Urns?
Yeah.
Someone pass away?
Yeah.
No.
For myself.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's where I am in my life.
I want to see how much they cost.
Right, right.
A lot, right?
If I get one on sale, I'm like, Amazon, what's good?
If I could get a Groupon urn, that's what I'm looking at right now.
I don't see you as a Groupon urn type person.
Actually, that is really me.
That's on brand for you?
Yeah, I would want an urn that looks nice, but is really cheap.
I'm actually just trying to get a cocktail shaker and make it as an urn.
Oh.
If you could bedazzle a cocktail shaker, make it an urn.
Is that your brand?
That's my brand.
Your remains should be interned into an urn that is a cocktail shaker.
Yes.
I used to be a waitress for 10 years.
So honestly, it's very on brand.
Now, do you do the shake above the shoulder?
Like over the shoulder?
Actually, that is the corniest bartender ever.
So no.
I'm more about the mixologist that stirs.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
You know me.
You get me.
You buy with me.
What's your cocktail of choice?
Do you drink?
I'm sober.
Okay.
That's why I should ask
the first part first.
Do you drink?
No.
When you used to.
When I used to,
my favorite cocktail was free.
Whatever is free,
I'm in for it.
All right, I like that.
Cocktail shakers, I kind of fuck with cocktail shakers now, even though I'm also sober.
Oh, yay.
Because you put ice in there, and you shake that shit up, and it gets your drink cold
in five seconds.
It's beautiful.
Wait, are you drinking other things with a cocktail shaker?
Yeah.
Yeah, we still got cocktail shakers in our house.
Wait, but what are you-
If I have to get a drink cold, it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Anything.
Not soda, obviously, you can't shake that shit up. No, not drink cold, it doesn't matter. Not soda, obviously.
No, not soda.
I guess water, usually.
Just get the ice water really cold.
It's usually for my son.
My son wants water cold really quick.
You're the coolest and corniest dad ever.
I go over the shoulder, so I'm sorry.
I'm going to call CPS, so when they look through the window,
you look like you're pouring your kid a martini.'re like and there you go he does drink it out of a
martini glass which is the like literally i couldn't even handle a martini glass without
spilling try and give it to a two-year-old that shit wouldn't even make it to his mouth
the more you know yeah exactly all right let's talk about people who are worse at cheating,
who managed to get caught cheating in a way that people,
I assumed everybody was cheating based on my experience.
Of what, getting into college?
Of the people that I went to college with.
So there is an emissions scam that has been exposed featuring a gentleman by the name of Rick Singer,
scam god, man.
This guy was really doing it.
He set it up.
He set the whole thing up.
Yeah.
He had a nonprofit, a phony nonprofit, and he'd go around to the wealthy and be like,
look, I can get your kid in a fucking any school, basically.
Yeah.
For a price.
Yes.
Now what you do, you pay my nonprofit, you know, whatever the fee is. And then I use that money to then go bribe school officials or proctors of the SAT or ACT test to get your kid into the college of their dreams.
And you get to write it off at the end of the year because it's a charitable donation.
And how long has he been doing it?
For years.
It's been a few years now.
I mean, but the latest batch that the IRS and FBI uncovered is dealing with mostly kids
that are still in the schools right now.
Right.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
Scandal.
Yes.
There are kids going to class today who have this shit on the front page of all the newspapers
and they're just being exposed.
They said they arrested like 33 parents from some school officials, some coaches.
Aunt Becky.
Aunt Becky, yeah.
Lori Loughlin from Full House and her husband Massimo, the guy who started Massimo Clothes.
Damn.
Fuck out of here.
Yeah, their daughter went to USC.
Fucking bought her way in.
Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy's daughter bought their way in.
But my thing is, is like you bribe the school, right?
But if your school is,
but if your child is not
that good at school,
how can they maintain?
Right, well, here's the deal.
Okay, so it worked two ways, right?
One was the academic scam.
So they would be like,
look, my kid's grades aren't good enough.
I don't know how they're gonna get into Yale.
And they said,
this is what you do.
He's a fucking idiot.
I know.
Have you seen these SAT scores?
I have, but I have a plan.
Okay.
Rick Singer, baby.
Pull your kid out of high school,
enroll them in an online school,
and I'll have someone else take all the course forms
so the kid has straight A's going into the application.
Get the fuck out of here.
Or if they have regular grades,
but their ACT or SAT scores are fucked up,
he says,
okay,
what you need to do is get your child an ADHD diagnosis
so they can then
take the test sort of isolated and for a lot longer time, they can take their time on it,
in which I already have proctors paid off who do those specific tests,
who after the kid is done with the test, they will just correct it before submitting it.
So they had the SAT, ACT proctors-
On the payroll.
On the payroll.
Yeah.
And they would just correct, would erase the answers that the dumb rich kid put in.
Right.
And put in the right answers.
Yes.
And then that kid would get a good score on his SAT.
Whatever.
And it was almost like to order.
They'd be like, okay, do you want it near perfect?
Right.
Because you don't want to get too much scrutiny.
Right.
Or do you want it just underneath so it sounds super smart?
Right.
And they could basically pick the score they wanted.
Yeah.
I just want to say shout out to Rick, okay?
Because I wouldn't even have thought of anything like that.
You have to be, he's low-key Billy McFarlane, yo.
Yeah.
Shout out to these dudes just scamming their way through.
Exactly.
Blue collar crimes.
Yes.
Doing it.
White collar.
White collar.
White collar, right.
And the thing is, is just like school is a scam too. Yes. Let's get into it. Oh, white collar. White collar, right. And the thing is, it's just like school is a scam too.
Let's get into it.
Like college is a sham-a-wham.
Well, in the sense that they've made it so hard for anyone to get in that it's just become this unattainable thing.
Yep.
I think education is a good thing.
But yeah, in the way that they sort of frame it as like you need to go into crippling debt to achieve this degree.
Is it college a good thing? Because into crippling debt to achieve this degree i think so is it
a good thing because yeah you get all this information nine times out of ten you're not
gonna whatever your major is when you get out of college you're not gonna do that i think it all
depends on i think it's not for everyone right right i think that very specifically there are i
i certainly benefited from going to college i wanted to go oh look at you yeah but i wanted to
but i wanted to yeah but i also know also know I have a degree in history.
I'm not using that shit.
Right.
Aside from dropping weird references on the show.
In the end, is it worth being in debt your whole life?
No.
I don't know.
I can't argue that.
But this is basically a more like bald-faced,
like fraudulent version of a thing that happens all the time.
Like people get into these schools based on legacy,
like based on the fact
that their parents went there that like doesn't make any or their grandparents built a building
there yeah it's just no hold on hold on my grandparent put a building in a school i'm going
to the mother don't you dare do that and that's what it used to be so that's what a lot of these
people are saying there's a there's a difference A lot of people, it used to be like,
just make an outrageous donation to the school,
and there's a little more quid pro quo.
Oh, it's still like that.
Yeah, of course.
This is outright fraud and bribery.
So another way was the athletic track.
So coaches, they have their allotment of people
they can recruit to bring in to school.
And so other times they can be like,
look, I might be able to get your kid on the Yale soccer to as a way in because the grays aren't that good and they're
like wait but my kid has never even played soccer yeah yeah that's all good because this is what i'm
gonna do i'm gonna stage a photo shoot soccer so we're not what are the things not that high he
would stage photo shoots to make it look like this kid was a real legit recruit or if the kid was uncoordinated
they would just straight photoshop the face onto shit and then submit that so when it looked like
it looked like a legitimate recruit they're like oh look at these accolades and committing like
that fraud yeah then it turns out you can bribe the yale soccer coach with like a payment of
five hundred thousand dollars he's gonna be like yeah uh welcome to Yale. But it's Yale, though.
I feel like half of it is our fault in terms of thinking like, oh, these prestigious universities
is the way to go.
Right.
You are the creme de la creme of when you graduate, you should be able to get whatever
job you want.
And it's just like, that's not how life is set up.
Right.
I think it's just because the culture of these specific parent groups are like well our kid has to go to yale you know what i
mean because they live in that world where if you don't go to yale you're not shit but that okay yes
we do it on the parents but also society too oh yeah yeah no absolutely and we get mad at the
whole system but it's just like y'all made the kardashians hot so don't be mad when the scams
get scammed don't don't be mad when the scams get scammed.
Don't be mad.
It's all us.
Right.
Yeah, we've built it up to the point where now parents are like,
by any means necessary, I have to get this child in.
Right.
And Aunt Becky's daughter, once she got into USC,
like got on her, she's an influencer, you guys. She got on her thing, on her social media thing
and was like having a conversation. I don't know what outlet it was but i think it was youtube and was like you know
i don't like school guys but i think it's gonna be like fun that i get to go to games but i don't
really plan on attending classes so yeah she's just like is that a character or that no that is
her she's dead ass serious and she's like i just want to be that a character or that she was dead ass serious? No, that is her. She was dead ass serious.
Yikes.
And she's like, I just want to be able to live that life.
Yeah.
Of someone who went to college.
She wants to do the version of Cod's they see on TV where there's no studying.
But this is such a-
I'd say one of the biggest wasted resources in all of America.
We're supposed to have this meritocracy.
in all of America.
We're supposed to have this meritocracy and there's so much time and energy
being spent on rich people
trying to get their kids
to have good lives.
Just be like,
it's like your kid just doesn't want to do shit.
You waste it.
You're ruined.
Yeah, you're trying to push this kid
in a direction it's not going to go.
It's just not going to happen.
Well, I will say this,
especially with
like the sats and just like the test and then going to college like it's not a system based on
like intelligence no no at all right yeah it's all based on like if you're a good test taker yeah
also who your parents are the system is flawed as it is like Like, I don't know. I went to college and I'm really hard at like memorizing things and just understanding stuff.
And I didn't do well.
And it was frustrating because I would try to apply myself.
And then I became depressed because it's like, am I stupid?
Am I not worthy of being here?
And, you know, look where I am now.
A comedian.
worthy of being here and you know look where i am now a comedian yeah well i think it it helps you sort of realize things too in the process i guess for you even right you sort of realize you're like
this whole academia thing i've been sold like for what yeah and there's a whole cottage industry
that uh i think robert evans is gonna do a story on but we interviewed a bunch of kids when I was back at Cracked.
There was a bunch of these kids
who were basically writers for hire.
They would write your college paper for you.
That's what these kids do once they get in.
They just pay kids to do the schoolwork.
And then they become politicians
who then have existed in a world
where they don't need to do anything.
They can buy their way out of anything.
They're in a consequence-free world
and then they start robbing the working people
and then look at where we are.
I could keep going, y'all.
This is the conspiracy.
But there are those moments
when you see a politician
and you're like,
wait, this person can't be that dumb.
They just looked dumb.
They're like, he went to Yale.
Right.
They just looked dumb in that moment. No, no dumb. They just looked dumb. They just looked dumb
in that moment. No, no.
There are ways. Yeah.
And I guess also too, so like when you look at it,
people were paying anywhere from $200,000
to $6.5 million
to get these kids in. And they were
saying at the press conference today, there were some
parents who didn't want the kids to know
that they were fucking pulling the strings
behind their back. And they said they have other instances
where the kids very much knew what was going on
and what they had to do to get in.
Yo, could you imagine if you thought
you got that score on the SATs on your own?
You thought.
There's no way, though.
And then you're just finding out in the paper today?
There's no way.
You know if you're good at test taking.
You just know that.
But also, I know there are people who have been encouraged their whole life to a point where they think they are much more capable than they are.
And I'm sure there's a sliver of people who are like, yeah.
Yeah, let's talk about it, white men.
Let's get into it.
All right, guys, come on now.
Wait a second here.
We get a bad rap.
I've studied really hard on my SAT test.
Right. And yeah, all my family hard on my SATs. Right.
And yeah, all my family went to the same college.
Right.
And lacrosse is a real sport.
Oh my God.
Georgetown, where I went, is also tied up in this.
No.
And lacrosse is the cool sport there.
Stop it.
It's so whack.
I'm glad I went to one of these schools that was good enough for people to scam their way
into. Yeah.
The USC part doesn't surprise
me at all because for rich
people in Los Angeles, that's sort of
like the, you just go to
USC if you're not really serious about
anything. You'd be like, yeah, of course. I'm going to go to
USC, dude. It's fucking sick.
That's why I meet with all the other conservative kids in LA.
It's all about titles. It's fucking sick. I mean, we're all the other conservative kids in LA. Yeah. It's all about titles.
It's all about status.
And we drag it, but it's a thing.
Yeah, no, no, absolutely.
And everybody can say what they want because they're in one level.
But imagine when you get money.
Imagine if you're at that part in your life where you're like,
I could pay for my kid to get into this school the wrong way.
Right.
Right.
If you're that type of parent, you're going to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Like, you never, your kid never had to sell Girl Scout cookies, and it was pretty low,
and you were like, all right, I'm just going to buy all these boxes of cookies.
Right, right.
I'm going to do it.
Yeah.
It starts there.
It starts there.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
It does.
Just let your kids take the L early. You got to let your kids fail, though. I think that's true. Yeah. Oh, wow. Just let your kids take the L early.
You got to let your kids fail, though.
I think that's true, man.
Oh, hell yeah.
If my parents have to do it, no fucking way.
My mom wouldn't even turn the air conditioning on.
You know what I mean?
And I was sweating in the house.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Anyway, the thing that we still don't know is what the schools are going to do with these
kids that are still enrolled.
What are they going to do?
And that's where I'm like, ugh.
And are they going to return the money?
Hello?
That's what I want to know.
But it's not many of the schools, even the FBI, they tried to find, make sure that there were no administrators involved.
And it seemed like it was purely just these coaches and these proctors.
And only in one case, USC, ha, where an administrator was also caught up and took bribes.
No, those administrators are involved.
There's no way.
They're still investigating.
So we don't know the full extent yet.
But from what they have so far and the charges they made, they could only find these people
culpable.
But I am curious, though.
I mean, it sucks for the kids, especially if they didn't know.
But at the same time, it seems like you have plenty of resources that this won't
fuck up your life trajectory this is it's so embarrassing though yeah it's fucking embarrassing
and at that age stuff like that is like it feels like the end of the world yeah how am I gonna
move forward on this right because then it's all on social media your name is all up and through
the the blogs.
It's rough.
At least Aunt Becky's daughter was like, fuck that.
I don't do school.
So she's owning it already, even before this happens. I feel bad for William H. Macy's kid who knows.
Maybe they're like, yeah, I'm smart.
I'm going on her IG.
What's her stories right now?
Oh, my God.
Nope.
It's probably.
Bury your head in the sun.
Is it blocked?
No, no.
Is it private?
Olivia Jade's Instagram is wide open, but she hasn't posted since the end of February.
How many followers she got?
She's got 1.3 million followers.
Yikes.
Influencer.
And you, too, can cheat your way through an education.
Oh, my God.
We'll be right back.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
who on October 16th, 2017 was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradente.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions.
Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?
Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job?
Girl, yes.
Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer,
we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Santer. The only difference between the
person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies. Yeah,
I think a lot about that quote. What is it? Like you miss 100% of the shots you never take.
Yeah, rejection is scary,
but it's better than you rejecting yourself.
Together, we'll share what it really takes
to thrive in the early years of your career
without sacrificing your sanity or sleep.
Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the
target of two assassination attempts, separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly
50 years ago, when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.
President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close
to being the victim of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of
that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.
I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife
working undercover for the FBI
in a violent
revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange
and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now with new episodes every Thursday.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Substance use disorder and addiction is so isolating.
And so as a black woman in recovery, hope must be loud.
It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable.
It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay.
When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible.
Find out how at StartWithHope.com.
Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council.
And we're back.
Let's get into the best places in this world to live. I guess it's a HR company, Mercer, that ranks all the different cities around the world in terms of livability. And people usually pay attention to the top 20. And you will not find a US city in that top 20. What was the top U.S. city?
The top U.S. city was San Francisco and came in at a cool 34, I believe.
Oh, boy.
It's a great city to live in if you have 34 million dollars.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a weird list.
Then Boston.
I guess if it's U.S. cities, then Boston, Honolulu, New York, Seattle, Chicago, D.C.,
Philly, and Pittsburgh.
Yeah, I do think they are assuming a certain amount of disposable income on the behalf of the people who they're talking to because they are placing professionals in these cities.
That's what they do, and so that's kind of who they're speaking to, who they're thinking about.
I mean, but the things they're ranking based on are recreation, housing, medical and health consideration, school and education, public services and transport.
So they are all things that we look for.
Well, I mean, Geneva is famously known for being a very affordable place to live, as
is Zurich and Basel.
Like, there's three Swiss cities.
I mean, I would love to go.
Shout out to Vancouver at number three.
Vancouver is number three, yeah.
BC, Zeitgang.
It's pretty wild because natural environment is also one of the things that they take into consideration.
And there are five Canadian cities on the list before you get to a single U.S. city.
You've got Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa, and Calgary,
which are all frigid nightmares, I'd imagine.
Ottawa with a bullet.
Wow.
I was not expecting that one.
Ottawa, baby.
Yeah, where they skate to work.
Yeah.
You know?
I like Ottawa because you can't say it without a Canadian accent.
It sort of forces you into, oh, I'm from Ottawa. Yeah. Ottawa know? I like Ottawa because you can't say it without a Canadian accent. Like it sort of forces you into, oh, I'm from Ottawa.
Yeah.
Ottawa, eh?
I really, look, I'm glad Sydney's on there next to Amsterdam.
Mm-hmm.
Wellington, New Zealand, sounds great too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What was the top two?
The top two are Vienna and Zurich.
Oh.
Other top U.S. cities and, you know, the U.S. cities start coming pretty
fast and furious after 34. You got Boston at 36. Honolulu at 37. You don't say New York is at 44.
New York is the only city that has moved up in the rankings. All other U.S. cities have gone
down and they credit that with just the rise of
I think they said populism
I was going to say the machines
I think they said machines
I'm just glad LA's not on there
people don't need to come out here
the traffic's fucked
LA's on there
we're at 66
we're tied with Houston
and Miami
I like Houston I like Papa Do's I like Ponchatrain sauce Ooh. We're tied with Houston and Miami. 866.
Hey, I like Houston.
I like Papa Do's.
Yeah.
I like poncho train sauce.
Right behind Atlanta.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
It does seem like a suspiciously white group of cities that have scored high on this ranking.
Yeah, probably not a lot of color in Zurich, I'd imagine.
Right.
Yeah, I don't think so let's talk about the president's attempt to buy the buffalo bills back before he decided to run
for president uh this is just a wild story yeah who would have thought yeah that uh trump always
likes to use shady stuff no matter what it is, whether it's real estate or covering up affairs or even
something that seems as straightforward as simply just buying a NFL team.
Right.
I mean, this has been his white whale since like the 80s, right?
Right.
He had a USFL team and he was trying to leverage that. He got the USFL team because they wouldn't
let him buy an NFL team. And then he tried to leverage the USFL team into an NFL team
and it ended up killing the entire league.
Right.
Yeah, he wanted to have it be like an ABA thing
where they merge with the league.
So he was like, yeah, we're going to take the USFL
and put it at the same time as the NFL.
And they're going to be so sorry.
Yeah, they're going to be so discredited.
And then just nobody ever watched the USFL ever again.
And yeah, he's a brilliant business person.
Yeah, well, I think the reason this story came back up is because when Michael Cohen was testifying, he talked about, oh, you know, Trump also like inflated his assets by $4 billion.
So you get a loan from Deutsche Bank to buy the bills.
so you get a loan from Deutsche Bank to buy the bills.
And what we're figuring out now,
or as our writer JM was pointing out from old articles that were written about this time,
it was down to like a three-person war,
like bidding war over the bills.
It was the guy who owns the Buffalo Sabres,
Donald Trump, and then Jon Bon Jovi
and like a consortium of rich guys from Toronto or Canada basically
who are going to buy it.
And Trump tried to, he figured out a way to basically poison the well for Jon Bon Jovi.
Yeah.
So he created a false flag group of Bills fans.
Basically this group of Bills fans called themselves 12th Man Thunder.
And they started doing protests like establishing Bon Jovi free zones in local bars.
And like one time a cover band
tried to play some Bon Jovi music
and they got like booed off the stage.
I kind of like these guys so far.
Yeah.
So it turns out there was nothing organic
about this grassroots movement.
It was purely astroturfed.
Donald Trump fronted affair just to basically make people.
The idea that he was trying to get out was that Bon Jovi and his Canadian business partners were going to move the bills to Toronto.
Yeah.
And take away your precious bulls or bills.
Bills.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think it was just, know it's it's right on
track baby just xenophobia yeah like these canadians are gonna fuck up the bills i mean
the border war are the buffalo bills like the root of all white nationalism i mean like so if
right if trump buys the bills maybe he doesn't run for president right um, Timothy McVeigh bet $1,000 on the Bills in the fourth
Super Bowl that they're in and lost it. And yeah, this was a story, actually, it's from Boomtown,
the book I mentioned earlier. But yeah, so Timothy McVeigh was this lifelong Buffalo Bills fan,
and he bet $1,000, supposedly the last money he had because he's like, there's no way they're going to lose another time.
And then he lost it all.
And supposedly that helped him spiral down into a crazy Turner Diaries obsessive guy.
Wow.
Yeah, because I think right after Trump lost his bid for the bills, he launched his presidential campaign nine months later.
Yeah.
If we would have just given him an NFL team, I feel like the country, if it was like,
all right, so Trump, you can either have Trump as president or as an NFL owner.
We would have been like, well, sure.
Give him an NFL team.
I mean, he's perfect as an NFL owner.
Right.
Isn't it really Don Beebe's fault?
You know what I mean?
Because wasn't he the one holding the fucking football up and then Leon Lett just fucking
bashed that shit out on the one yard line when he was like feeling himself too much?
I mean, that's really what we need to be looking into.
Him or Scott Norwood.
Right.
To see the kicker who missed the kick.
Wide right.
Was Don Beebe in the second Super Bowl?
That was the second time?
I don't remember.
I just remember in my Sports Illustrated for kids, it was in my worst moment ever illustrated part.
And I was like, damn, Don Beebe.
I've never fucking let that go as a kid.
Thank you to sports illustrated for kids.
The perforated trading cards in the middle were kind of shitty.
They were terrible.
Yeah.
And I loved cards.
I love trading cards.
So when I was like,
Oh,
it comes with cards.
And I'm like,
what the fuck is this perforated bullshit?
My upper deck at,
but anyway,
so this group,
right?
The crazy thing is this,
the Trump hired this guy,
Michael Caputo,
who like,
like helped Oliver North out during the the Iran-Contra stuff.
He was like boosting the careers of Boris Yeltsin and fucking Putin.
Right.
So then he's like, oh, perfect.
I need you to fucking destroy Bon Jovi.
And yeah, it was just amazing.
Like, you know, using political operatives who are like real good friends with Roger Stone and shit.
I just love the idea of the asterurfed anti-Bon Jovi group.
Right.
Yeah.
Especially like, how are you going to get a bar to be a Bon Jovi free zone?
That's impossible.
Living on a prayer comes, what the fuck?
In the United States, that cannot be done.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Drunk people love Bon Jovi.
Right.
And then the wild part, the guy who fronted
this organization, this guy Caputo,
he found a double amputee
cancer survivor to be the face
of the organization because he was
basically saying like, yo, if he's at the front,
who's going to criticize you? You're a
double amputee cancer survivor.
And the thing was, the university, was the university
of Texas? I have no legs.
Or Texas A&M. Texas A&M, I think.
Or Texas A&M, yeah.
Yeah, they sued, they hit him with a cease and desist because they're like, we actually trademarked the phrase the 12th man.
So we're going to hit you with a cease and desist.
And Caputo immediately marks the guy out there and he's like, look what they're doing.
Texas A&M suing a fan who's a double amputee cancer survivor.
They're sick.
Keith Olbermann even hopped on.
He's like, they're the worst people in sports.
I don't remember that, actually.
Well, and then to make it up, they get Texas A&M to donate $25,000, you know, to help this organization, quote, stop the Canadians from buying their team.
And then as like a sort of like, look, we'll settle.
We'll just change our name to Bills Fan Thunder.
And, you know, still again, circulating petitions around the city.
Keep the team in Buffalo.
Again, something that was never uttered by Bon Jovi or these Canadian business people
that are interested in buying the team.
They never for once said, we have any interest.
Like, no, we just want to buy the buffalo bills right and own this team
like yeah bon jovi was talking about moving to buffalo right and the only thing that was that's
canadian about i know exactly the only thing that was canadian about the entire thing was that the
his business partners were from toronto and then trump was like oh oh, we're going to fucking use that. Yeah. They're foreigners.
Oh.
Yeah.
He's got a gift.
This does kind of make me think of him as more of an evil genius than I did going into this story. Well, he's just, I think that's just always his tactic.
You know what I mean?
If I don't like someone, let me create some fake outrage about him.
And it's also kind of the U.S.'s playbook in general when they want to topple foreign governments.
It's like, how do I astroturf some outrage in this country or whatever?
Most of the day. Anyway.
So, yeah.
Is the Buffalo Bills the node that all the evil energy travels through?
I think, yeah, it has to be.
It's so weird to actually think about like these little things, right?
Yeah.
Of like the Buffalo Bills winning the Super Bowl
and that connection to Timothy McVeigh.
If Trump owned it, would he have been too distracted
to try and run for president?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
And he probably would have put the bills,
like the bills wouldn't exist anymore.
We can all agree on that.
Somehow, right?
They barely exist now.
Yeah, he would have driven that franchise into the ground,
the first NFL franchise to go out of business in the modern era.
Like nobody wanted the golden seat package where the seats were made of gold.
It was either he got to experiment as the,
like an experiment in failure as the owner of the Bills
or as the president of the United States.
And we got the shit end of that stick. Hey, well, look, you know, shout out to the Bills or as the president of the United States. And we got the shit end of that stick.
Hey, well, look, you know, shout out to the Bills backers.
You know what I mean?
At least you're safe.
Congratulations to the Bills.
Yeah.
Hey, and thank you for the Buffalo Wings, too.
Yeah, absolutely.
And salt potatoes.
Yeah, and white nationalism.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are salt potatoes?
Actually, that's Syracuse, my bad.
What's a salt potato?
It's just you boil potatoes in water that is basically saturated with salt, and they're really good.
Really?
Yeah.
It's just a boiled salty potato?
Yeah.
God.
And then you butter them.
They're incredible.
Wow.
Highly recommend.
All right, salt potatoes. Dinosaur Barbecue in New York is like a Syracuse barbecue joint.
Oh, yeah. They do them. Right. You can get that on that website. I'm not doing that. recommend all right salt dinosaur barbecue in new york is like a syracuse barbecue joint oh yeah
right you can get that on uh that website that moves i'm not doing that i thought that's just
how you boiled all vegetables well this is like apparently it's a lot of salt yeah it's you like
the amount of salt that you would usually see used during a snowstorm i think in fact that's
how it came to be in buffalo is just they had a little extra.
They had been spreading on the streets.
They're served in the summer when the young potatoes are first harvested.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Well, I would love to have some salt potatoes for dinner tonight.
I think we're all learning a little bit about Buffalo.
Yes, sir.
All learning a little bit about Buffalo.
Let's talk about a corporation that does not understand what we see in them.
And that is the Budweiser Corporation.
They have released a product.
They've released a line of products. Announced them.
Okay, they've just announced them.
So these probably will never hit your shelves.
They've just announced them.
So these probably will never hit your shelves, but they have announced with confidence
that they will be releasing a line of meat products.
And one of those meat products is Budweiser pulled pork.
It's everything.
No, it's a whole line of Budweiser meats.
I know, man, but Budweiser pulled pork is so gross to me.
Does Budweiser, is there Budweiser in the pulled pork?
Like, do they use it as a braise at all?
I think that must be what it is, right?
They say it's using like brewmaster sauce, whatever the fuck that is.
I mean, to be honest, like beer does help in the cooking of these kinds of things.
Not Budweiser.
I think it's funny that they have like their whole ad campaign now is to position themselves as anti-foodie and anti-connoisseur, basically.
And they're like, well, no, but check out our line of artisan meats.
Well, this is the thing.
What are you talking about?
I thought this was for the many, not the few.
They're trying to capture millennials.
In the press release, it says Budweiser is an iconic brand that is recognized throughout the U.S. with impressive advertising and marketing.
And they're teaming up with this group, Coleman Natural Foods, who is actually making
the meat.
And it says the Coleman and Budweiser partnership will help create awareness for the millennial
consumers to stop and shop in the processed meat case.
Now, this smacks again of old motherfuckers thinking like, how do we get these millennials?
How do we get these millennials how do we reach these
kids because if they know if they knew this generation yeah you know we love budweiser
and processed meats like come the fuck on we already know we're killing the beer industry
right and they say very health conscious people you know the i think the the sort of snarky
perception is like all millennials are like oh oh, they like, they only eat like grass and things that don't cast shadows.
Right.
But yeah,
I don't know.
It's just,
it's just funny to me.
And it just smacks of like some pitch guy really being like,
this is the next wave for you guys.
Yeah.
This reminds me of that,
that leaked document from the Pepsi logo design.
It's just somebody selling complete rubes who are running a company,
like something that is just bullshit,
but they,
they get away with it by being like,
no man,
it's like what the kids are into.
Right.
Yeah.
Being like the,
the ambassador to youth culture is always like a lucrative position.
Cause you can just convince like business people of anything.
Right.
Well,
which is what's funny about this last one,
the,
one of the founders of this family ranch, the Coleman's the way this line is in the, in the press release, it just
smacks of like the thing, the advert, the marketing people told him, cause he says, this is a quote
from him introducing classic Coleman natural Budweiser products to a new younger audience
will bring generations of consumers from the beer aisle to the prepared meat case.
Our great tasting product and recipes
will continue to bring them back time and time again the fuck they will right i'm sorry coleman
but you know on does your grocery have a prepared meat case like i just think of it as that weird
part of the meat case where like the johnsonville brats are it's like oscar meyer and shit right
well in i don't know about the at the grocery stores i go
to the hot dogs are in a different area than like the lloyd's pre-made you know sloppy joe shit or
whatever that stuff is okay anyway uh the one thing i will give them though is they're pretty
actually this the foods themselves they're trying to be pretty health conscious because saying it's
slow roasted all natural coleman, which contains no antibiotics ever.
No added hormones.
100% crate free pork raised by Coleman farmers fed all vegetarian diet.
No animal byproducts.
So I feel like they're they knew like that part.
Like I would be like, oh, OK, I see what's going on.
And then I'm like, wait, Budweiser spare ribs.
Yeah.
Well, Budweiser is doing the whole no corn syrup thing.
So now they're trying to position themselves as a health food also.
Right.
Exactly.
Yes.
The healthiest.
You know, if they were smart, I would be drinking Bud Light pulled pork.
Yeah.
That is the only way this could be grosser.
I feel like they are very confused, whereas Coors Light has been selling the idea that
their beer is colder
right for like 35 years at least and that's I mean if you just find that and you stick with it this
just smacks of them grasping at straws you know it's it really is an amazing campaign the Coors
Light one because it's basically look you don't want to taste our beer you want to just experience
it like a shard of ice going down your throat slicing your esophagus right where you don't want to taste our beer. You want to just experience it like a shard of ice going down your throat.
Slicing your esophagus.
Right.
Where you don't realize you've drank it because you're just too distracted by its temperature.
Our beer evokes the image of 500-foot-tall Gen Xers playing football in the mountains.
Do you remember those commercials?
It was always just gigantic humans humans fucking around the Rockies.
I'm like, I guess this is a wave.
I like it when it would just start snowing and then everything got awesome.
Right, right.
Because someone would like open one or something.
Yeah, they crack one open and then suddenly like everybody's tops coming off.
It's weird because it was like the snow would come down,
but then people would take clothes off somehow.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's how we get down in Coors Lighttown.
Yeah, that's right, man.
All right.
We're going to take another quick break.
We'll be right back.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate
price. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradente.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions.
Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?
Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job?
Girl, yes.
Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice.
And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do,
like resume specialist Morgan Saner.
The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job
and the person who gets the job is usually who applies.
Yeah, I think a lot about that quote.
What is it? Like you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take? Yeah. Rejection is scary,
but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to
thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep.
Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts separated by two months.
These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.
President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president.
One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.
I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground.
Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer.
This is Rip Current.
Available now with new episodes every Thursday.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not
even know. Keep yourself and others
safe by knowing the real deal on
fentanyl. Get the facts.
Go to realdealonfentanyl.com
This message is brought to you by the
Ad Council.
And we're back.
Guys, I want to talk about LaCroix.
They're not doing well.
It's time for an intervention.
Was it before or after the lawsuit where the two pilots are saying the CEO was groping them in the cockpit?
I think it was right around that time.
Yeah, I think that's when we were sort of like, ugh.
So LaCroix.
LaCroix.
LaCroix was just coasting on the fumes of, I don't know, just like goodwill and people kind of just being like, yeah, if you drink it like so, so super cold, you can actually get it down.
It's funny.
We're all in agreement of this, but I just remember three, four years ago when LaCroix first was really having its moment.
Yeah.
People were like, what do you mean you don't like it?
You haven't tried the right flavor.
What flavor did you try?
You know what?
You got to try another flavor.
Oh, coconut.
Yeah.
You don't want to start with coconut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go with lime.
Keep it simple.
And then shotgun three of them at once.
And then the taste will be, it'll be fine.
Yeah.
I mean, I like a flavor seltzer.
Right.
I, you know, before LaCroix, truth be told, I was a talking rain kind of guy myself.
But yeah.
New York seltzer is great.
Yeah.
I'm trying them all.
Waterloo, or I think that's the one.
Yeah.
It was so good.
It's fine.
Yeah.
And it is apparently a very easy thing not to fuck up because everybody flooded the market
with their own version.
Yeah.
And some of them are a little bit better than LaCroix.
And it's just
everybody who goes to business school like I you know they have these classes where you just like
study the a case study of like how Nike became Nike and like all that shit you should have to
look at LaCroix and like study how they fucked up because it's like okay we're having like this
moment well we're gonna like over leverageleverage ourselves and just invest in it.
This moment will never, ever end.
And it's pure growth from here on out.
And we're going to make a LaCroix theme park where you ride LaCroix roller coasters.
And it's just, yeah, they just over-expanded.
Well, and I think they also just didn't realize that what they do, like, we're the only people that can make vaguely flavored water.
Right.
Like, we got this shit cornered.
But, yeah, cut to now, the prolific, the arms race of flavored seltzers.
And now they're, like, lagging.
Because last year, in the last 12 months, fucking profits fallen by nearly 40%.
Revenue's down, like, almost another three percent 40 percent and
so this is really why we're talking about it because the ceo nick caparella we've talked in
the past about how his like letters to like shareholders are just wild graphic horror shows
where it's like comic sans and like all kinds of weird clip art and just rants. So this time, in this letter to the shareholders,
so all the stats are there.
It's like, look, revenue's down, profits are down.
And it says, quote,
we are truly sorry for these results stated above.
Negligence nor mismanagement nor woeful acts of God
were not the reasons.
Much of this was the result of injustice.
Managing a brand is not so different from caring for someone who becomes handicapped.
Brands do not see or hear, so they are at the mercy of their owners or care providers
who must preserve the dignity and special character that the brand exemplifies.
You cannot write that shit.
Like, not he can't.
Like, a fiction writer writing satire could not have come up with something that fucking brilliant.
I feel like the onion would be like, who did you copy this from?
Right.
That is so good.
Was this a story we rejected?
Yeah.
He builds in that it's not like caring for a loved one.
It's caring for somebody who becomes handicapped because brands can't see or hear.
It's just amazing.
It's weird because he starts off saying like, look, profits are down because of injustice.
But then goes on to say that also a brand is at the mercy of their caregiver, in this
case, me.
Right.
So then are you the negligent one?
Yeah.
Like he's calling himself out.
That's what's confusing.
So what is the injustice, Miles?
What happened to them?
It doesn't even make sense because that's literally i read that there was no space in between that thought
and there's no further explanation about how there's some conspiracy it's just like okay
injustice right and i mean he owns i think 70 of the shares anyway so he's the one taking the
biggest hit out of anybody right which is why he's probably so unhinged about it. He's like, my money's in trouble.
Listen, guys.
And then it's just like, he literally just,
I don't even remember,
like back when ransom notes came out in magazine clippings,
you remember people would cut out the letters?
That's how he's like sending notes.
It really feels like that.
And then at the end,
he has like an even more sort of rocky, weird,
wild explanation to sort of like,
come on guys, give old Gil another chance here.
Where he goes, there is no greater passion than the kind that creates the wonderful refreshment and contentment described as unique.
No doubt, the sound and personality of the word LaCroix, coupled with the awesome experience of its essence and taste, is unique.
One can be induced to purchase by cheapening price
or giving away a product.
But falling in love with a feeling of joy
is the result of contentment.
Just ask any LaCroix consumer,
would you trade away that la-la feeling?
No way, they shout.
We just love our LaCroix.
I am positive they respond this way each and every time.
This letter was brought to you by cocaine yeah holy
shit dude that la la feeling what is it that ashley simpson song you make me wanna la la
on the kitchen oh yeah wow they should do a collab oh that would be incredible for two dying brands
you literally are dead love ashley simpson personally yeah shout out to evan ross yeah
he literally got high on his own supply.
Like this is somebody who has fully built their personality out of marketing material.
Right.
And is just buying everything that they've been selling for the past.
Yeah.
I forget what episode it was, but when we sort of like tracked the evolution of this man and his beverage company, because I think what they used to, like he owns Faygo also.
And then suddenly like LaCroix started popping and it blew his mind.
He was like, I'm the smartest guy ever.
Right.
I once – when I worked in retail, I was not upselling enough.
So a manager was very upset with me, took me into a private room.
He's like, I'm going to –
And beat me with a phone book.
And he's like, you're not selling enough.
Like you're – I hear you sell.
These are terrible pitches. And I'm like, but we're not on commission. He's like, yeah, but don't. I hear you sell. These are terrible pitches.
And I'm like, but we're not on commission.
He's like, yeah, but don't you like working here?
And I was just in my head.
I'm like, no.
I'm in college.
So he goes, well, I'm going to show you this clip.
Let's see if this helps.
Cues up the TV, walks out of the room.
It is the opening 10 minutes of Glengarry Glen Ross.
No.
This is the kind of shit.
This is exactly what it reminded me of.
Right.
Where he's like, I'm like, you realize in my head, I'm just like, that is making fun of what you're doing to me right now.
Right.
Do you not get that?
And I just – I was just very – that's the first place in my head when I'm like, oh, I remember this.
I was 19 when I got this letter.
Right, right.
Working at a small retail store.
Always be closing.
Yeah.
And he told – afterwards he goes, just remember if you can't sell a service plan
they sold you on why they couldn't buy it and i was like wait he for sure took that from somewhere
it took me a while to figure it out it was from boiler room and another movie commenting on this
plague wait where did you what was this place was that best buy i was trying to be very modest
about it it's like it's a small retail store.
Yo, Best Buy.
I love that.
The manager was taking this shit that series.
He's like, I'm going to whip this sales team in a fucking shit.
Oh, it was.
This was years ago.
I mean, this was, I think, almost 20 years ago.
It was wild.
Like, the shit that they talked about on how to sell stuff was incredible.
I love it.
That guy loves Gordon Gekko.
Oh yeah.
That's what's crazy about it.
It's like, I picture him at the end
in the morning before he leaves.
He does a thing where he like kisses his hand
and puts his hand on up like a poster of Gordon Gekko.
Right, poster of Gordon Gekko, for sure.
We're selling today.
Also meant to be a cautionary tale.
Oh yeah.
And also does like an American psycho style workout
every night.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And fucks with a mirror around him and flexes his muscles.
The worst kids I went to college with
were all into American psycho for the wrong reasons.
Wrong reasons.
Yeah, exactly.
Which also like.
Like he's so fucking smart.
Yeah.
Right.
And then everyone, everyone else who watched Fight Club was like, this was so liberating.
Yeah.
Like I can be a man and fight and not go to jail for it.
Right.
Like, uh, that's not what they're talking about.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
What?
Yeah.
You just literally got the Fight Club part.
Ikea is turning us into c about. Yeah, I'm sorry. Whoop. You just literally got the Fight Club part. IKEA is turning us into cucks.
Yeah.
All right.
That's going to do it for this week's weekly Zeitgeist.
Please like and review the show if you like the show.
It means the world to Miles.
He needs your validation, folks.
I hope you're having a great weekend,
and I will talk to you Monday.
Bye. We'll be right back. Defne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
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Crooks Everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks
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