The Daily Zeitgeist - YouTube Videos We're Thankful For, Thanksgiving Myths Part 2 11.22.17
Episode Date: November 23, 2017In episode 34, Jack & Miles are joined by comedian Jamie Loftus to discuss Nick Carter, Trump's defense of Roy Moore, the myth of the first Thanksgiving, Trump's Turkey pardon, & YouTube video...s the team is thankful for, & more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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How do you feel about biscuits?
Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit,
where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school
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I was a lady Rebel. Like, what does that even mean?
It's right here in black and white in print.
It's bigger than a flag or mascot.
Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello, the Internet, and welcome to Season 7, Episode 3 of the or wherever you get your podcasts. People don't know about that. And I'm joined by my co-host, who wrote that, a.k.a. Mr. Miles Gray.
That's right. It's your boy Armin Tanzarian, a.k.a. Principal Spinner, because I'm nice with the fidgets.
And we're thrilled to be joined by our, now, I think we could just call her sometimes co-host,
the hilarious stand-up comedian, Jamie Loftus.
Hello!
There she is.
Jay Log.
What is this, five?
This is five.
Number five?
This is five.
We're going to just stop counting.
Once we get to ten, then you'll have too many rings on.
Double-digit.
I need more fingers for more rings.
Exactly.
Let them know.
Like the heat.
But Jack, people don't know about you and the listicles.
I did not invent the listicle.
Okay, who was fucking with the listicle?
I just made it great.
Oh, see, what a modest guy he is.
I didn't invent it.
I just mastered the listicle.
I mean, like, every media company relies on the listicle to get clicks.
So, I mean, like, you are...
No, there were plenty of listicles before.
You're not even Trick Daddy.
You're Click Daddy.
Start using listicles.
Okay, okay, Mr. Modest Mouse.
Jamie, what is something that you've searched in the not too distant past that you believe is revealing about who you are as a human being?
Okay.
Well, I rewatched Casper 1995 last night, which prompted the following searches.
Bill Pullman hot.
As a question?
No, I just wanted to see if there was any comprehensive image collections of Bill Pullman hot. As a question? No, I just wanted to see if there was any comprehensive image collections of Bill Pullman hot.
Like a Pinterest board.
Like lifting weights with his shirt off or something?
A lot of people think Bill Pullman's hot, it turns out.
Bill Pullman hot, Bill Pullman ghost, because the CGI ghost of Bill Pullman that briefly
appears in Casper 1995 is nothing short of horrifying.
Also, somehow manages to take a flannel into the afterlife with him.
And then finally, Bill Pullman on Bill Paxton, because I want to know, because people mix them up.
People like I feel like there's a good 20 percent of people that think that Bill Pullman is dead and not Bill Paxton.
Did he release a clarification statement?
Did he say, I wish it had been me?
What did he say?
He said nothing.
He said nothing.
Oh, really?
He was silent on it?
He was silent on the issue.
His silence is deafening.
I know.
Coleman, we get it.
Also, rest in power to the God, Bill Paxton.
Dude, Bill Paxton is the best.
One of my favorites, Coconut Pete in Broken Lizards Club.
That's a Paxton deep cut.
That's a deep cut.
I just rewatched Paxton in Nightcrawler.
So good.
He's great.
He's a, yeah.
What does he play in Nightcrawler?
He plays Jake Gyllenhaal's enemy who always is like, hey, work with me.
And then Jake Gyllenhaal films him when he gets killed.
Oh, right. Yeah. That's Jake Gyllenhaal films him when he gets killed. Oh, right, right, right.
Yeah, that's a gnarly movie.
Yeah.
But yeah, Paxton's the god.
Bill Pullman, however, we have to hand it to him.
In 1995, he was hot.
Pullman is the president from Independence Day.
I always need somebody to say that to me so that I know which one he is.
Uh-huh.
So Pullman, president.
And I mean then yeah paxton
true lies true lies yeah you're gonna shoot me well paxton titanic yeah paxton titanic twister
all that there used to be a video of bill paxton uh in like the twister ride at universal like one
of those intro videos he'd be like hi i'm bill paxton what you're about star of twister what you're about
to witness is a twister simulation and then it's like the worst ride of your entire life
oh was it wait is that at universal in orlando yeah yeah it's a really i don't even know if
it's there it's probably akin to like what the backdraft ride was out here which wasn't a ride
it was just like stand on this uh like metal floor and then a bunch of shit is gonna be on
fire in front of you and then you leave. And then you leave.
Yeah.
My favorite roller coaster intro video ever is the old one to the mummy where it's Brendan Fraser.
He'd be like, hey, this is Brendan Fraser.
Just that frenetic, psychotic energy he has.
He's like, you're about to go on the wildest ride of your life. And then at the end he's like, whew, that was fun.
Remember to take your stuff and unbuckle.
I love it.
Oh, Brendan.
What a strange form that the like roller coaster intro video where someone at some point decided, no, we're going to pretend like you are actually you.
You're not your character from the movie that we're simulating. You are yourself.
And then but then you are telling them that they're about to go on an adventure.
So like the decision to suspend disbelief in one very specific place.
For a ride that is so fantastic.
Like, we're not going to go whole hog.
It's like the animatronic Indiana Jones on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.
It's like, hi, I'm Harrison Ford.
Guys, get the fuck out of here.
Guys, this is pretty.
I think the most perfect version of that is, and also the most baffling roller coaster possible,
is the Aerosmith roller coaster at Disney World in Florida.
What?
There is an Aerosmith roller coaster.
And the intro video, Stephen Tyler, like current Stephen Tyler, is like,
Guys, it's Stephen Tyler.
From Aerosmith.
From Aerosmith.
Here's Joe Perry, the guitarist.
Joe the guitarist Perry, as he's known in the band.
And he's like, do you want to drive our tour bus?
And then it goes, wow!
And then you go in.
It's great.
Buckle up for more twists and turns than my toenails.
That's a deep cut for Daily Zeitgeist.
Long time listeners. Long times. Steven Tyler has fucked up toes. Really bad feet. That's a deep cut for Daily Zeitgeist.
Long time listeners.
Long times.
Steven Tyler has fucked up toes. I didn't know that.
Yeah, the tabloids.
There was one that was just harping on how bad his feet are.
The voids?
His feet look like hobbit feet.
And it is my favorite joke that we've had on the Daily Zeitgeist.
Miles said his toes look like they're throwing up gang signs.
I don't know what set he's claiming, but we'll find out.
Jamie, what's something that's overrated in your opinion?
Overrated right now, the Jim and Andy documentary on Netflix, Don't Care For It.
So what is this documentary about?
So the documentary is basically dredging up all this old footage of Jim Carrey method acting not assing.
More like method assing.
Sick burn, Jamie.
So it's like all this behind the scenes footage of him
method acting as Andy Kaufman
during the filming of Man on the Moon, which I think came out
in like 99?
But it's all like, it's Jim Carrey
just getting, being
a real jerk. There's a lot of great shots
of the crew of the movie just being like, this is like not necessary.
And he's, you know, he's like walking around, he's doing the Tony Clifton character.
And then there's a lot of interviews with Jim Carrey at present just saying like, I don't believe in free will.
And then like a soft piano bed like,im carrey doesn't believe in free will
i'm gonna have to check that out oh because i'm a jim carrey fan i'm a like jim carrey was one of
my favorite things growing up like on a living color and then east ventura yeah but he lost me
immediately when i was like 11 and he ruined a series of unfortunate events just a bullet like
ruined it and then wow that just made me feel real old.
I was way out of college, and I was like, I'm 14 years old.
I'm 14 years old.
You're the smartest.
That's why we have you.
You're one of the most intelligent 14-year-olds we've ever met.
I'm a little boy genius.
Whiz kid, Jamie Loftus, is here with us again.
I'm basically Jimmy Neutron.
Jimmy Neutron.
I'm a little Jamie Neutron.
That's great.
I'm Jimmy Neutron's little sister.
But yeah, it sucks.
It's just him being super pretentious.
I think you said that at one point he says that Andy tapped him on the shoulder and said, I'll take it from here.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, and he's like, and so and then that whole stupid method acting thing where they'll call him and he'll be like, Jim's gone.
Jim's not here.
And it's like, Jim, like we what is your shoe size?
And he's like, well, I guess it's more of a question of what Andy's shoe size, you know.
Fuck off.
I don't know.
I just I can't get on board with Jim Carrey.
And maybe it's just because he was such a bad count all off.
But God damn it.
What's something that you think is underrated?
Oh, Casper 1995.
Casper 95.
Starring Christina Ricci.
Starring Christina, little goth teen icon Christina Ricci.
Yes.
Falling in love with a bulbous-headed ghost.
Brad Garrett plays a fat ghost.
That rules.
Eric Idle phones it in.
Bill Pullman hot.
It's a fun one and i i cry every like okay
so you ever like watch a movie when you were like and when you're little you're like oh my gosh this
person's so cute and i have a crush on them and then you re-watch it as an adult and you're like
oh that's a literal child yeah i had that moment where they're at the end of casper casper comes
to life for a second and i used to be like oh my god he's so like jonathan taylor thomas like style beautiful and then last night i was
like oh that is an 11 year old boy and i was getting pretty horny for watching the scene
that is just an 11 year old boy now pre-horny? Pre-horny is just the anticipation of, I know cute Casper's coming up soon.
And I was getting pre-horny.
I was already post-horny for Bill Pullman because he's hot.
Actively horny, right.
That's how I know I'm a woman now is I'm horny for Bill Pullman and Casper.
Right, right, right.
And not for Casper.
That's like when I used to be in love with Natalie Portman in The Professional.
Yeah.
Ooh, yeah.
And then you get older and then you're like, wait, hold up.
And then this movie's creepy as fuck.
This dude is in love with her.
Yeah.
Well, also, when you look at the deleted scenes from like the international version where
like they're going on dates and shit.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
There's like a moment where they're just on a date.
Kind of.
Hey, you're not above it, America.
American beauty.
Yeah, exactly.
You're not above it. God. I think. Yeah, exactly. You're not above it.
God.
I think people know you by now, Jamie.
Yeah.
And if they don't, I don't know what to say.
Get to know me.
I'm 14.
All right, let's get into the format.
We're trying to take a sample of the ideas that are out there,
changing the world, whether you're looking or not.
We talk about politics, our president, and the news,
but we also talk about movies and supermarket tabloids.
And, yeah, we're trying to take a temperature of what's affecting the national shared consciousness,
which sounds a little more hippie-ish than we actually are.
But let's get into it.
And one of the ways we'd like to open is by asking our guest if there is a myth, something that is believed by that national shared consciousness that you think is incorrect based on your life experience.
Well, my myth today is perhaps a little more specific, but it's based on everyone I've told this does not believe me, which is that my my screenplay, Santa University, is really bad.
It's a myth I've been trying to bust for years.
Right.
Santa University.
Santa University.
OK, go on.
I'm intrigued.
It's OK.
OK.
Here it is.
Santa University is a movie about a university full of Santas.
But they're young. They're like teen Santas, but they're young.
They're like teen Santas.
They got big dreams.
They want to be the real Santa.
But it's also a very competitive environment
because there can only be one Santa.
Oh, interesting.
So by the end of the year,
all the Santas have to die except for one.
So it's actually a pretty intense...
They have to die?
Yeah.
It's a very violent movie.
So it's like Hunger Games mixed
with Harry Potter. It's like a school
with classic Santa mythology.
It's a musical.
It stars a
young Santa named Dan Santa.
He's majoring in Santa
at Santa University along
with everyone else at Santa University.
And you're not just making this up as you go along right now?
No, no, no.
I have record of making this up as early as 2012.
Wow.
It's been being workshopped.
Super producer Anna Hosnia is nodding.
She's aware of this.
Is this script fully written?
No, no.
Wait, does it have an outline?
You know, it's in various Evernotes.'s in various Evernotes from the past five years.
I know how some of the songs go.
It would be great if we could do a reading of Santa University as maybe a Christmas episode.
That would be beautiful.
I mean, it's a beautiful story.
There's a song called The Perfect Santa.
It's a bit of a ballad sung in the cafeteria while the Santas are lunging.
They're knifing each other.
The Santas are dying.
Okay.
Well, what is it?
That is a myth that has been busted.
Give it.
Give us the movie poster for Santa.
What does that look like?
Oh, Sandy.
So, of course, Dan Santa's front and center.
Dan Santa is the greatest character name of all time.
Is he just like a ripped hot dude or is he like more of a G underdog type he's an underdog santa young giamatti there's a part in the beginning where
where santa's girlfriend from high school breaks up with him because she's like i don't believe
in santa and everyone's like haha it's a double mean it's a fun movie does he have a meet cute
in it at some point uh well he falls in love with the with with I think it's I think it's Sarah Santa, who is the daughter of the dean.
But she's in a relationship with Cool Santa, who's the captain of the team.
And his first name is Cool?
Cool. Yeah.
Cool Santa.
OK.
And then Dan Santa's roommate, Goth Santa, is going to be on the poster as well.
He's a bit of a fun B character.
There's the elves that want to start a punk rock band. They're going to be on the poster as well. He's a bit of a fun B character. There's the elves that want to start a punk rock band.
They're going to be on the poster as well.
They start a lot of the musical numbers.
To be honest, this seems more like a series to me.
This seems like there's just too much meat on the bone.
You can stretch this out over a few seasons.
Extended universe.
Yeah, I mean, like, okay, I like this.
Cool.
Myth busted.
You sold it in the room.
It's good.
I'm in. All all right let's get into
uh the stories uh and really it's basically a story that uh has been dominating the news for
past couple weeks uh we've called it any number of things a sex crim watch or men gazi Or Mengazi. Mengazi. Sucks crumbs. Yeah, sucks crumbs.
But yeah, so not too much.
There hasn't been any bombshells of new people added to the list.
Except for Nick Carter.
Oh, Nick Carter.
Wait, that was real?
That was on TMZ.
God, damn it. He's a member of, is he from the-
He's the famous member of that meth family.
Oh, the meth family.
Aaron Carter.
He's the king. He's basically the member of that meth family. Oh, fuck. Aaron Carter. He's the king.
He's basically the king of meth.
Oh, God.
Nick Carter.
He was so cute.
Yeah.
Was it that he raped someone or attempted to rape someone?
He did rape someone.
Yeah.
Today in Hollywood harassment, Nick Carter denies rape.
You sound very distraught over that one.
I loved the Backstreet Boys.
They were like my favorite band.
They were my first concert.
I saw the Backstreet Boys the night before 9-11.
On 9-10?
On 9-10.
And I went to school the next day with my little t-shirt.
I'm like, everyone's going to want to hear about this.
And lo and behold.
First thing in the morning, I was just like, this is unbelievable.
What a microaggression against me, you know?
Right, right.
And that's how 9-11 touched you.
9-11 was really, yeah.
It affected people in many ways.
Where were you on 9-11?
The question is actually, where was I on 9-10?
And was I having a killer time?
Right.
So Charlie Rose has been fired.
I think that was yesterday. But I've actually heard people be like, man, it seems like we're equating Charlie Rose and Al Franken with Roy Moore.
And that's not fair because we're more the pedophile.
But, man, those Charlie Rose stories are really fucking creepy, man.
Like he working at CBS or like at any company that he was working at would have been an absolute nightmare.
Like he would like go up and whisper creepy shit into people's ears while like grabbing them inappropriately on a private plane.
Once he like got up and just laid down on top of a woman that he worked with.
That's horrifying and also very weird.
Yes.
Yeah.
Aggressive.
We also, so the president weighed in on sex crim watch in general,
but specifically the case of Roy Moore.
Came through with a stellar defense.
Yeah.
Did he say sex crim watch?
He hushed all the haters, hushed the haters.
I think we actually have the audio where he explains why.
We're talking about sexual misconduct. You have your own allegations against you.
Let me just tell you, Roy Moore denies it. That's all I can say. He denies it.
And by the way, he totally denies it. Go ahead.
Mr. President, what what is your message to women?
This is a pivotal moment in our nation's history.
Women are very special.
I think it's a very special time because a lot of things are coming out.
And I think that's good for our society.
And I think it's very, very good for women.
And I'm very happy a lot of these things are coming out.
Do you believe the accusers? I'm very happy a lot of these things are coming out do you women are very special they're very special very special it's such a just generic and oh god what
a cute way of just being like women are like that's so diminutive yeah they're very special
they're very special i don't believe them i don't like them and you don't know how special they are to grab them by the pussy.
Right.
And then you really know, oh, this is a special being.
How do you let a lady know she's special?
This Christmas.
It almost sounded like during the first answer, it almost sounded like Roy Moore was a like
he was speaking about himself in the third person because the woman was like, you have
allegations against you.
What do you say about this?
And he was like, Roy Moore denies it. moore says that's it dead it's dead yeah
uh at this point the conversation we've been having around the office is just like who would
surprise us at this point because it seems like if charlie rose is like turns out a secret creepy
pervert probably the guy who nobody had thought of in a sexual context
in their life at the risk of their sanity.
Like, who would we be actually surprised by?
And I think our list like this is the same conversation people are having, like when
it turned out every baseball player was on steroids.
And I remember people being like, the only person that surprised me is G to bro.
He's totally clean.
And Pedro.
So we're in a position where we're doing the same thing
for famous people and their sexual assault.
Good guy power rankings.
Good guy power rankings.
I think we decided Hanks would surprise us.
Obama would surprise us.
Will Ferrell would surprise us. Obama would surprise us. Will Ferrell would surprise us.
Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert.
That's it for you?
That's my list.
Am I dead?
I'd like to throw in Alfred Molina.
I know he's not the most famous man.
That would break you.
That would literally snap me.
I know you have a special place in your heart for Mr. Molina.
I'd have to drain all the marrow from my bones
if Alfred Molina turned out to be a perv.
I'd have to turn myself into gel.
For me, yeah, I would say Chris Brown.
Ben Roethlisberger.
Yeah.
I would really be devastated.
Can we just take you outside for a second?
If something came out about those guys, that would be really terrible. Who can you trust, man? burger yeah yeah i would really be devastated yeah just like taking a good guy if something
came out about those guys you know that would be really terrible jimmy's saying that she has
something to talk to you about i guess during the break but yeah don't worry about it yes what
happened it's fine it's fine just bring it just bring a change but those guys still have careers
no they have careers still and i think mel gibson and i think mel gibson too mel gibson good guy
feminist icon mel gibson i mean he did know what women think about in that movie that is true and
it was always wow what an ass on that guy mel gibson but again if you guys have any information
on if chris brown or ben roethlisberger anything's up with them again we'll just chat about it yeah
yeah okay we'll just maybe just bring a new, yeah. Don't worry about it. Maybe.
Just bring a new pair of undies.
You'll be fine.
Oh.
Yeah, you might.
Shout out to me undies.
Oh, my God.
Jeez.
All right.
We're going to take a quick break and talk to Miles about some of his heroes,
and we will be right back. I've been thinking about you
I want you back in my life
it's too late for that
I have a proposal for you
come up here and document my project
all you need to do is record everything like you always do
one session
24 hours
BPM 110
120 she's terrified should we wake her up? absolutely not 24 hours. BPM 110, 120.
She's terrified.
Should we wake her up?
Absolutely not.
What was that?
You didn't figure it out?
I think I need to hear you say it.
That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.
This machine is approved and everything?
You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago.
We're not hurting people.
There's nothing dangerous
about what you're doing.
They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence
is a new horror thriller
from Blumhouse Television,
iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence
on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get
your podcasts.
In a galaxy
far, far away.
No, babe, that's taken.
We're in our own world, remember?
Right. In our own world, we're
two space cadets and totally normal
humans. Sure, totally normal humans.
Embark on a journey across
the stars, discovering the wonders
of the universe one episode at a time.
We'll talk about life, love, laughter,
and why you should never argue with your co-pilot.
Especially when she's always right.
Right, and if we hit turbulence, just blame it on Mercury retrograde.
Or Emily's questionable space piloting skills.
Hey, join us on In Our Own World
for cosmic conversations, stellar laughs, and super corny dad jokes.
Listen to In Our Own World as a part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And don't worry, we promise to avoid any black holes.
Most of the time. When you think of Mexican culture,
you think of avocado, mariachi,
delicious cuisine,
and of course, lucha libre.
It doesn't get more Mexican than this.
Lucha libre is known globally because it is much more than just a sport
and much more than just entertainment.
Lucha libre is a type of storytelling.
It's a dance.
It's tradition.
It's culture.
This is Lucha Libre Behind
the Mask, a 12-episode podcast
in both English and Spanish
about the history and cultural richness of
Lucha Libre. And I'm your host,
Santos Escobar, the emperor
of Lucha Libre and a WWE
superstar.
Join me as we learn more
about the history behind this spectacular sport
from its inception in the United States to how it became a global symbol of Mexican culture.
We'll learn more about some of the most iconic heroes in the ring.
This is Lucha Libre Behind the Mask.
Listen to Lucha Libre Behind the Mask as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts.
Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from?
Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs?
Hi, I'm Eva Longoria.
Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon.
Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back.
Season two. Season two.
Are we recording? Are we good?
Oh, we push record, right?
And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite
out of the most delicious
food and its history.
Saying that the most popular cocktail is
the margarita, followed by the mojito
from Cuba, and the piña colada
from Puerto Rico.
So, all of these... We have, we think,
Latin culture. There's a mention of blood
sausage in Homer's Odyssey that dates
back to the 9th century B.C.
B.C.? I didn't realize how old the hot dog was. Listen to Hungry for History as part of the And we're back.
You're lying about Chris.
You're lying about Ben.
Those are lies.
Listen, listen.
We'll take you out for a milkshake after this.
Why would they still have careers, though?
Why would they still have careers if they did that awful shit?
Listen.
It's a really good question.
We've been asking ourselves this the whole time.
Man.
I saw Quentin Tarantino at a diner the other day,
and one person in the diner yelled out,
How's Harv?
Oh, shit.
And then Quentin Tarantino got right the fuck out of that diner very quickly.
All right.
So it is the day before Thanksgiving as we're recording this.
And we are going to do a couple Thanksgiving-themed stories.
I wanted to bust a couple Thanksgiving myths for you.
Me.
We talked yesterday about how Thanksgiving is not a pure non-commercial holiday.
not a pure non-commercial holiday.
Another myth you'll see on your local news is this idea that on Black Friday,
everybody just goes crazy and starts beating the shit out of each other.
Well.
There's just mayhem at every store. Reddit does a good job of aggregating those one videos a year that end up being on every news broadcast right when it's
like two women fighting over like a blender or like two dudes throwing down over like a flat
screen tv or whatever so basically this is just a genre of story that uh has become a thing that
they know get ratings and it's an incredible it's basically the slowest news day of the year is like
right thanksgiving and the day after thanks Thanksgiving because everyone's just eating themselves into a coma.
And so the things that they'll do are they will report other crimes as though they were frenzied, like attacks based on people trying to get toys or Christmas presents.
Like there was a couple of years ago a shooting at toys r us that was like
reported everywhere i was like yeah there was a shootout over like over hatchimals right and it
turns out it was just an unrelated gang shooting that took place like in toys r us parking lot
um there's also just tons of violence that happens in like walmart's on any given day uh so it's not abnormal hear about it yeah you
don't hear about it a walmart is a epicenter of evil right in general so it probably changes
someone's like structure like i'm in fucking walmart i feel more aggro when i'm in a walmart
yeah yeah like i just i don't know something it's a stressful place to be well they all they also
like come into communities just suck them drive all their resources and then transport like all those resources back to Arkansas.
So like it makes sense that like all around our Walmarts, it would just be like crime and horrible shit going down.
It's like Mordor.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly. But the big myth I wanted to bust is our myth about the founding of America and that first Thanksgiving.
They were friends. Yeah. First of all, they're friends.
Before you try and fuck this up for me, Jack, we all know the pilgrim pilgrims came because they were looking for religious freedom.
And they met up with some with Squanto and Tonto and Bonto.
The religious freedom thing is actually interesting.
They were coming for religion, but it was actually to create a theocracy.
So it was like the opposite of religious freedom. They didn't think religion was strict enough where they were coming from, so they were coming here to ISIS.
Ooh, with the ISIS drop.
The tangentially the ISIS drop. The tangentially
related ISIS drop.
So they were
coming here to create
a crazy theocracy,
which they succeeded in. It is crazy
because I grew up in Massachusetts,
so you're going to Plymouth
once a year with your class, and
they have the Plymouth Plantation, which
is just a bunch of people role-playing false history right before your very eyes every single year uh through high
school right it's insane so the reason that uh the pilgrims came and were the like kind of the
first big permanent uh settlement Jamestown was permanent in a sense, but it was also a complete disaster.
So we tend not to focus on that as much. And we'll get to Jamestown. But so when the pilgrims
arrived in Massachusetts Bay, 95 percent of the Indians in that region had just been wiped out
by plague. So they basically walked into fully functioning towns that had just been completely evacuated of all the people.
So they were just like, oh, this is great.
Like we have like, you know, all these fields of corn like pre-planted and stuff.
So they're like the first gentrifiers.
Right.
Exactly.
The white settlers were arriving in the Native American equivalent of Manhattan and I am legend, basically.
in the Native American equivalent of Manhattan and I Am Legend, basically.
And, you know, anytime white settlers tried to settle pre-apocalyptic America, they failed. This is why there's like that long period between Columbus arriving like 1492 and discovering the new world for white Europeans.
the New World for white Europeans and pilgrims showing up in the 1620s is because it was a fully settled, fully occupied and inhabited country.
There are some people who think there were more Native Americans in America than there were people in Europe at the time before the plague came through. There's like a written account from a sailor who like talked about sailing down the east
coast of America.
And you could just like he called it like it was basically like starlit with clusters
of bonfires.
And there were so many bonfires you could like smell the smoke before you could even
see the land.
So, yeah, that's why there's that 50 year gap.
The plague came through, depopulated the country and white people came in and settled whatever land had been cleared by the plague.
Vikings had actually tried to settle America before the Native American apocalypse and got the shit kicked out of them by the natives.
That was like in the 10 hundreds, I think.
So, yeah, I don't know what one of the weird legacies.
I feel like the story of Squanto is actually one of the craziest.
Like the fact that it's not a movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis or an actual Native American actor is completely insane because this dude like so he was captured
when he was younger and like taken to england to be sold into slavery uh and he like managed to
escape and convince people to take him back home like across the ocean it was like this long
insane journey basically like the movie gladiator and when he
arrived back to his hometown it was like the year after the plague had just completely wiped out his
entire tribe the year before oh he came back to the aftermath yeah he came back and his town was
just empty and he was like what the fuck just happened? And then the pilgrims show up. And, you know, rather than going and getting the like nearest surviving tribe and having them kill the pilgrims, he was like, well, somebody should use this town. corn with like dead fish to like help with the soil and stuff and it's interesting to look at
like when uh people who are trying to settle america didn't have the help of the natives like
uh jamestown they came in and they were like were trying to enslave the natives and also only cared
about like digging for gold and so the natives just like kind of sat back and were like, OK, yeah, good luck with that.
And the first winter was so bad that, you know, when they got there, they were trying
to sell Native Americans into slavery.
And by the end, they were offering themselves as slaves in exchange for food because they
were like starving so badly.
That's a tables have turned moment.
Right.
For the books.
Right.
There's another thing
that they make you do in Massachusetts
when you're a little kid.
You go to Camp Squanto
and they show you,
it's the weirdest thing.
It's like just a normal camp,
but at the beginning,
they show you this video
that tells you that story of Squanto.
I'm like, this is the coolest guy.
Everyone he knows died.
And then he made friends with white
people. Isn't that cool? Anyways,
go outside and jump rope.
Welcome to Camp Squanto.
We tell you about Squanto
and then we give you a jump rope. We will sanitize
the shit out of history.
Use this rope and jump up and down.
Yeah, I mean, and
Squanto didn't last for too much
longer he ended up dying they think he might have been poisoned actually uh by the local native
tribe because they thought he was like kind of uh double dealing which he might have been i thought
he was a russian bot right but uh there was a war pretty soon after called King Philip's War that they still say is the bloodiest, most violent conflict ever fought on American soil that was between settlers and the surviving natives.
But again, this was the very last stragglers after a plague had basically completely depopulated it.
And we're just saying people just moved into their, like,
the vacated homes of the dead and were just, like, using their plates and shit?
Yeah, when you look at the actual firsthand accounts of the pilgrims,
that's what they're talking about.
They're like, yeah, we took the most beautiful, like, bowls and stuff
from their homes and covered up the dead bodies that were still there,
like, buried the dead bodies that were still there, like buried the dead bodies that were still there.
And yeah, they basically just used they moved into a town that already locks it.
Yeah, this house looks cool.
And I mean, this is the reason the worst because like, you know, people I think people just
think, oh, you know, white Europeans came in with their superior weapons and, you know,
gun beats arrow.
So that's why today when you think of America, you picture, you know, white Europeans or whatever. But like white Europeans also tried to do the same thing in Africa, tried to do the same thing in Asia. And when you picture those countries, you picture Africans and Asian people because they were fully populated and you can't like
depopulate a country.
It's just that America had a plague that went through it that.
So to put it in perspective, I think they think that 90 percent of the America's population
was wiped out by the plague eventually.
And the black plague that is like the most famous plague that we know of.
Top plague.
Yeah, top plague.
Top one plague.
Top ten plagues.
Was, I think it wiped out a third of Europe.
Right.
So 90% versus a third.
And they got the plague because of the, like, Colombian exchange, right?
Is because they weren't living in close quarters with animals?
And like once pigs came through, they're like, right.
So the Europeans have been living for, you know, hundreds of years in close quarters
with like pigs and livestock.
And so they had, you know, over the course of years been exposed to all these different
illnesses that had jumped species.
And, you know, the natives didn't have that.
They did like sort of have a type of agriculture that they did where they cleared trees from
the forest so that like forests were not like were still livable.
like forests were not like we're still livable. Uh,
they think actually that when the natives died off,
so many trees grew back,
uh,
that it caused the mini ice age in Europe because it's basically reverse
global warming.
the,
the more trees,
the cooler the climate gets.
Um,
so,
but they didn't live in close quarters with like animal shit so they
were totally unprepared for you know some of the illnesses that came through interesting and yeah
i'll i'll mention massachusetts one more time because this is the only one of the massachusetts
expert jamie loft is coming one of the only times that the state is relevant in the year is around
thanksgiving uh so and it's it's interesting
watching like people that like there were people i knew growing up who were like distantly related
to pilgrims and and between being very young and being like i'm related to pilgrims i'm cool and
then by the time i was in high school they were like i don't really like the fucking genocider
right like you're great great great great, great, great motherfucker. Right.
You're a great, great, great motherfucker.
My fifth grade teacher, I remember that was like one of the first times that I realized that Thanksgiving was perhaps not so chill, was my fifth grade teacher, Mr. Brewster.
Shout out, Mr. Brewster.
It was related to a famous Mayflower passenger.
Punky Brewster.
A famous Mayflower passenger.
Punky Brewster.
Mr. Punky Brewster, who was like the first preacher that came on the Mayflower and just like was a really active participant and just wiping out another culture.
And so we're like, oh, that's so cool.
You relate to a Mayflower guy.
And he's like, I am.
The thing about that is.
I am related to him. There's no getting around it. Right thing about that is. I am related to him.
There's no getting around it.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, and there was a lot of, you know, slaughter and wars that followed it. But again, they were fighting them at like one twentieth of their previous strength.
So what are we trying to say?
Should we still celebrate Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
Or just look at it in context.
So what are we trying to say? Should we still celebrate Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
Or just look at it in context, right? White people of European descent should be thankful because their ancestors got the luckiest that any group of people has ever gotten because they just rolled over and moved into a completely pre-settled landscape.
Right. But, yeah, I guess it's probably worth keeping in mind that the most important event in – like most historians who know of your thinking right and but it's been completely sanitized of its actual history
and like the actual history of of the experience of being an indigenous person in the americas
right that it's like yeah let's let's remember that too and also do we also forget and i just
realize this is that november is actually uh native american history month yeah
i didn't even know and we don't even know that and it's happening in november so yeah guys let's
think of you know the real things we have to be thankful for too right like the redskins
blackhawks um yeah that is a lot of team names. Yeah. After we take a break, we're going to come back and talk about things that we're thankful for.
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and we're back um so real quick wanted to talk about the uh presidential turkey pardon
because that happened um and which was the most awkward shit if you actually watch the whole thing
with donald trump pardoning the turkeys he's like can i touch him and then donald trump's not
comfortable asking for consent so it's just a very tense experience right and then he like
awkwardly pets it and then he was like i hereby pardon you and everyone was like what the fuck
and then he had to start clapping i was like like, oh, shit. Okay. Was that the end?
Oh, okay.
It was so weird.
Man can't even pardon a turkey.
Can't do anything.
So dumb.
But is turkey pardoning dumb?
Why do we do that shit?
Does it matter?
Because don't they fucking die anyway?
Yeah, I thought it went back way further than it did.
Like, apparently there was an accidental turkey pardoning.
Like Lincoln's son, Ted, was like pardoning, like Lincoln's son.
Tad was like, no, I like this turkey.
Tad Lincoln.
That sounds like a movie that needs to be made.
That's got to be a cartoon right away.
So he made his dad pardon the turkey.
He named it.
His name was Jack Turkey.
And I think it lived a long, happy life with Tad.
Oh, my God.
Tad married that turkey.
I know you believe it.
But like after that, I think there was there was another president who pardoned a raccoon,
which was sent to him for his feast.
Like he was supposed to eat a raccoon.
And he was like, now raccoons are cute.
They have little human hands.
I want it to be my friend.
And so he kept it as a pet.
But the next person to pardon a turkey was Reagan.
Someone asked him about Oliver North.
Like whether he pardoned him?
Yeah, whether he was going to pardon Oliver North.
And he was like, no, I'm going to pardon this turkey.
I'm Reagan.
I'm fun.
And then H.W. Bush got in on it and was like, I hereby pardon this turkey.
And then it's been a thing ever since then.
But, yeah, the people have pointed out that the turkeys usually don't make it a full year because as opposed to in Lincoln's time when you pardoned a turkey and it just got to continue being a turkey.
As opposed to in Lincoln's time when you pardoned a turkey and it just got to continue being a turkey.
These are genetically modified beasts that have been made to last exactly as long as they need to. To get peak physical plumpness and then immediately dispatch.
So we can feast on their corpses.
So they, you know, don't make it a year because they are just over plumped and over.
Right. That's like even sadder. You know what I mean? uh, don't make it a year because they are just over plumped and over.
Right.
That's like even sadder.
You know what I mean? Like you get part and then like you're honestly,
you're going to probably die some kind of heart failure because your body is
too big to sustain your life.
Yeah.
When I'm not going to pardon my hamster for Thanksgiving this year,
there's no excuse for you.
And then I'm just gonna,
yeah,
I'll bring a fork.
Um,
my hamster is the size of a tater tot.
It's like there's not even a point in eating it.
Not good eating on those bones.
She's worthless.
Bring a good eating hamster through.
Give me a guinea pig.
Like a little substance.
All right.
But let's talk about things we're thankful for, guys.
Well, first, can we talk about, this is one thing I just want to throw this in at the last minute.
What's your favorite Thanksgiving food?
Sorry to make this an AM or FM morning show, but I'm always interested to know what everyone's favorite food is because sometimes I find common ground with people.
The best part of the Thanksgiving meal for you, Jack?
Probably the stuffing.
Okay.
Jamie?
I was going to say stuffing.
I also love green bean casserole oh yes
yes i don't have that often but yes i love stuff stuffing is my stuffing thing oh really i could
almost eat i wouldn't even really need the turkey i could just eat a lot of stuffing with gravy on
it well yeah turkey is almost inedible without the stuffing because the turkey can be super dry
can be dry if someone's fucking up in the kitchen i
went to a friend's giving the other night and it was like no one brought turkey six people brought
stuffing and it was the best thanksgiving i love that i love it i love it yeah because you know
thanksgiving's right because it's state-sanctioned gluttony yeah you know there's also there's like
this i feel like some families have like Thanksgiving signature dishes. Like my grandma rests in paradise.
She's up there hanging out with Bill Paxton.
Oh, they're saying she lives in paradise, Nevada.
Oh, no, she's literally in heaven making out with Bill Paxton.
But she, she used to make this trifle, like a dessert trifle, but she was, but would never,
like everyone was like, grandma, like does not wash her hands before she makes that trifle.
But the trifle would be so good, but you knew it was dirty, but like you had to eat it, but it was dirty.
Wait, what is a trifle?
A trifle, it's like basically a five-layer dip, but with like pudding and like, yeah, berries and cake.
And like, it's really good.
But my grandma's dirty little hands were also just fully, but we would always like, you would just stare at it. You're like, I'm not going to eat it this year because I know grandma's dirty little hands were also just fully but we would always like you
would just stare at it you're like i'm not gonna eat it this year because i know it's dirty i feel
like a grandma's hands could never be dirty though you know what i mean like and were they that dirty
that like even your family oh grandma did not wash her hands again well she'd be doing it and then
she'd be doing the finger licks and then she'd go back into grandma though that's your grandma
those aren't germs grandmas don't have germs.
She's not like...
I believe that.
Okay.
My grandma, I don't know.
Rest in paradise, but also...
Clean your hands, grandma.
Yeah.
Wash your hands, grandmother.
Come on.
She's like, I've never washed them, and I never will.
My grandma was a badass.
She was a widower, or no. Widow. Widow. She was a badass. She was a widower.
Or no.
Widow.
She was a widow.
But she would have all these framed pictures of hot cowboys around the house.
She was a horny, weird lady.
Who didn't wash her hands.
Who would not wash her hands.
My type of grandma.
Don't eat that trifle, dude.
It's bad.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
What are you thankful for, Miles?
Well, I guess we were going to go around, right right and just talk about things we're thankful for yeah and rather than do like the
usual like oh i'm so glad i'm healthy my family boring i'm gonna hear more about jack's baby
yeah it's like grow up dude get a baby get a baby maybe i should um you know we want to go around and talk about YouTube videos we're thankful for because that does sometimes bring us a little bit of joy when you can see the right YouTube video or they just get you out of a funk.
Right.
So let's go around and let's just talk about a YouTube video we're thankful for that we've seen.
One that you showed me yesterday is just this.
It's maybe 25 seconds.
we've seen one that you showed me yesterday is just this it's maybe 25 seconds it's uh an enormous man uh taking a video of himself and he's just out like in a cornfield and uh i think i think
we have the audio of he's smoking a blunt out here in amish smoking big doinks in amish hell yeah
big old doinks in Amish? Hell yeah. Big doinks. Big ol' doinks.
He's hitting a blunt. Big ol' doinks.
He's just said it again.
Hitting a blunt in a cornfield.
Big ol' doinks.
Empty road.
Gang.
Ooh, gang.
Close that with gang.
It's really one of the great things.
Doinks was amazing.
Big ol' doinks out in Amish.
Referring to the country as Amish
is just amazing.
Calling blunts doinks.
They all doink.
And then just signing off with gang.
Rather than doink.
It's my fucking spirit animal.
Wasn't doink a wrestler?
Like a clown wrestler in the WWF back in the day?
Really?
Doink is just a sound of something like bouncing off someone's head.
Yeah, doink the clown.
Remember?
Doink the clown.
Yo, he looked like Beetlejuice on meth.
Dude, that does look like.
So anyway, shout out to Doink the Clown.
Feminist icon Doink the Clown.
Feminist icon Doink the Clown.
Other media I'm thankful for, Sesame Street, Dr. Seuss, and Goodnight Moon.
That shit keeps me sane.
Hell yeah.
Wow.
Good for you.
Yeah.
I mean, it's almost the time of year to watch Chuck Jones' How the Grinch Stole Christmas,
which is one of my favorite cartoons of all time.
It's so good.
Narrated by Carl.
What about you, Jamie?
What what's a YouTube video you're very thankful for?
Well, I'm an ASMR head.
I love ASMR.
You get the tingles off that?
I get the tingles off that.
Yeah, I love I love it.
I've been listening to it to fall asleep for like maybe four years now.
Whoa.
Yeah, I've been I got I got it.
So you were like an early adopter. Yeah. Yeah, I got in on the ground. Oh, so you were like an early adopter, yeah.
Yeah, I got in on the ground.
You're an ASMR hipster.
Right.
Guys, not to brag, but I've been listening to creepy-ass videos every night for a long
time.
They lull me to sleep.
But there's one of my favorites that came out this year because now that it's been around
for a while, people are getting kind of like they're running out of ideas and they're coming
up with new stuff.
So there's this great user who I listen to all the time called ASMR Glow.
But she did an ASMR version of Pennywise kidnapping a child.
For people who don't know what ASMR videos, give them like the elevator pitch.
Okay.
So ASMR, it stands for auto sensory meridian response and basically it's just when uh
a user it's basically just a video of someone whispering and it's usually taken in like a
simulation of something or like a role play so it'll just be like a really quiet video of like
i'm gonna paint your hands or like right i think you're really cool and nice and do you want to be my friend
okay go to sleep like like they're on paper they sound horrifying but they actually are super like
relaxing for it's like 15 of the population has a certain thing right where it causes a physiological
response yes we can just play the the video this is pennywise abducting a child
you will know if you are asmr sensitive right asleep yeah
jamie's out oh
what is this you awake okay okay so that's the start of the Pennywise video.
Pennywise is just for setting to just relax you.
Pennywise is just taking you down into the gutter.
You are trapped.
You are drowning.
You are dying.
And that's how you go to sleep.
It's a 45-minute video of like, hey, so where are your friends?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I hate your friends.
Do you want to go to prison?
It's scary.
Hey, so if anybody, if you had a particularly tense Thanksgiving, just toss this 45-minute abduction simulation.
Honestly, I recommend, I think it's one of the top 10 art films of 2017 is the Pennywise ASMR video.
It's insane.
Miles, what about you?
the Pennywise ASMR video.
It's insane.
Miles, what about you?
Mine, in the grand tradition of people smoking blunts videos,
I have to say, after we were talking about doinks and Amish,
it reminded me of one of my favorite ones,
which is like rapper hits blunt and passes out.
And it's just like this dude acting so tough on his webcam.
I guess you can call it rapping to camera.
And then he's like, does this, he hits a blunt so hard and he's just not built for it.
Just, I don't know, listen to this one.
For anything.
Put a grand on there. You'll get two G's.
On the rim.
Bitch niggas trying to do me.
Get smoked
like that blunt. I just love it because he's like, get smoke, like, just blunt and immediately.
He also looks like he's, like, about to burst into tears at the beginning of the video.
Like, he's got a really sad face and his eyes
are a little far apart.
So guys, you can check all these
videos out in the footnotes
so you can know
the joy that we have from these videos.
I love that it's titled Obese Guy
Faints After Trying to Rap and Smoking
a Blind. That's like a Hemingway story.
That's really sad.
Very sad. Alright, that that's gonna do it for us for
this this Thanksgiving week I hope you
guys have a good Thanksgiving Jamie
where can people follow you I can follow
me on twitter.com at hamburger phone you
can listen to my podcast the Bechdel
cast about women in movies
every Thursday. Great podcast.
And Jamie's a great follow
on Twitter. Miles, where can people follow you?
You can follow me
on Twitter, Instagram,
at Miles of Grey. And you know,
I probably will be outside of the Best Buy
in Burbank,
trying to get a $3 TV. Wait, seriously?
No. Oh.
Just challenging people.
Just staring at people.
Yeah.
Hoping they try it.
What kind of deal are you trying to get, man?
Cool.
You frugal, too?
I like that.
You can follow me at Jack underscore O'Brien.
Oh, and the one where it cracked the day after, or the Monday after Thanksgiving was always
a big traffic day
I think because people would tell
each other over Thanksgiving or
tell their friends or their family
about Cracked. So
yeah, tell your friends and family
about Cracked.
No, I'm just joking.
About the daily Zeitgeist.
We could use it.
Geist fam. Welcome to the Geist. Zeitgang. Tell your We could use it. Geist fam.
Welcome to the Geist.
Zeitgang.
Zeitgang.
Tell your family you're part of the Zeitgang.
Zeitgang in the building.
And, you know, yeah, spread the love.
Because I'm sure if you live in a town where you might be the only person talking like this,
it's a good show to spread around.
It's your other snowflake cuck friends.
You know, the soy boys.
The soy boys.
Tell all your soy boys. Tell all your Soy Boys.
Tell all your Soy Boys. When you're smoking
a fat doink in the parking lot
of 7-Eleven in your hometown this weekend.
Hell yeah, and just looking at everybody like,
dude, I was in the Daily Zeitgeist, man.
Fuck y'all wrong. You can
follow us on Instagram at The Daily Zeitgeist.
We have a Facebook fan page,
The Daily Zeitgeist. You can follow us
on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist. And we follow us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist.
And we have a website, DailyZeitgeist.com, where you can find our episodes and also our footnotes.
Footnotes!
Where we link off to all the sources for all the crazy stuff that we do.
Nice.
And that's going to do it for today.
We will talk to you on Monday.
Have a good one.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead,
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