The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Episode Two Hundred - Eighty - Nine
Episode Date: August 2, 2024Izzy is worried he is getting too skinny and that has Chris Cote furious. The Craters then dive into Izzy's vegan lifestyle and how he can make Greg Cote a carrot hot dog he will love. Juju has questi...ons about the true rules of "Uno" while Fuentes shares his idea for a Meadowlark game night. Later, Greg Cote makes the argument that there are too many group chats after hearing about the Meadowlark "Poop" chat and Izzy sends a text message to the wrong Charlie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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That's BetterH-E-L-P.com. As we sat down here to record Mystery Crate today, Izzy said one of the most obnoxious
things I've ever heard anyone say to me.
I have a tendency to do that around here.
He was like, man, I did the show today and I'm looking around at everybody and I'm too skinny.
That's not what I said.
What a jerk, seriously, what a jerk.
I said, wow.
The last few times I've done the show,
I've been looking up at the camera and I've said,
man, I've got to put on some weight.
I took that as you looked around at all of us
and you were like.
Different sentence.
You looked to the right at me in that chair
and you're like, oh man, I'm skinny.
No.
It's obnoxious, dude.
I'm kidding.
I don't even like skinny.
I think skinny can be ugly.
You are skinny.
You've gone vegan.
Is that why you've gotten skinny?
Are you working out as much as you used to?
Yeah, I think it's just in theory.
I mean, I just probably not as much protein as I used to
because it's a little harder to find.
And I don't know if this could be true or not,
but it feels like it's just like a bunch of animal nonsense
waste just left my body.
And like, cause I still work out the same amount.
I still eat in terms of the amounts, roughly the same.
Maybe stop cutting as many, maybe work out less.
I know that doesn't make sense for most people.
But you're doing mostly weight training, right?
Mostly, I'm not doing a bunch of cardio.
Yeah, but yeah, weight training isn't really like a high calorie thing
like you're not burning a lot of calories so I think it's probably just
your are you like now I do get antsy a little bit and if I haven't done cardio
in a while like I go yeah you're four miles and then during football season
flag football season I'm running around like crazy so I get my cardio and I
probably have to do extra just to eat more you think you go vegan for a week
dad for a week yeah dad? For a week?
Yeah.
That's about it though?
Yeah.
If I was your personal chef, you could do it
for at least a month, guaranteed.
Well, I've never developed a taste
for the plant-based fake meat.
And so that's a spanking against me.
What if you tried it though?
I think you're doing that thing that Dan accused you of
earlier in the week on the show where you're,
I'm not gonna criticize it
because I haven't really tried any
Of that stuff. Yeah, even I think I think I've had a vegan the burger like I think that's all I've ever done
I'm saying that's what Greg was talking about is like the the fake meat, right?
The that's not I don't eat that anymore
the first time I went vegan had way too many of those because it was too easy and
I would just you know have it for dinner and be like, okay, we're just eating plant-based burgers
But now I have my niece meal prep for us every week
and I pay her.
And then, yeah, so we've got good food for the week
and none of that fake meat stuff, it's actual food.
I've never had a vegan burger,
so I'm not gonna say, ah, that tastes like shit.
I don't know.
I just, I have a metal block against it.
Like, you think it would taste like shit. Like, if I want a know. I just I have a metal block against it I think you think it would taste like if I want a burger and I have a burger, you know
I don't want to have a fake burger that's trying to fool me into it being a burger when I
When they had the impossible whopper at Burger King
I had a good amount of them and they taste kind of the same. Yeah, they always come with cheese and mayo
No, that's how they mask it because like after a while it just all tastes like a combination of mayo and lettuce and.
Greg, I'm gonna make you a hot dog
that is made entirely out of a carrot.
And you are gonna love it.
Out of a carrot?
A carrot.
Isn't that just a carrot?
Yeah, but it's a carrot dog,
so it's flavor of a hot dog.
A carrot dog, yeah, okay.
What do you put on that thing to make it hot dog flavored?
Well, you just kind of shape it into as much as you can,
the shape of a hot dog.
And then you basically, it's a boiler broil broil in this liquid, and this liquid is a combination of soy sauce,
ketchup, liquid smoke, a bunch of other stuff.
I'm listening, I'm listening.
And then you just let it sit in there until it gets fork tender and let it sit there for
another 20 minutes.
I happen to make a vegan slaw with it, and you put it all together, but you don't even
need the slaw.
Like, you can eat it with ketchup and mustard, it tastes like a regular hot dog like a regular hot dog. I'm kind of in on this. I would sample that.
I like carrot. You don't even have to wait for me to make it for you if you want.
The next, if they still have them this vendor here, the first time I ever tried these
was at a Miami Heat game. I asked him out for a vegan vendor. There was one he had
vegan quesadillas or vegan hot dog and I picked the vegan hot dog and I asked him three times
I was like are you sure this is vegan? He's like dude it's a carrot and I was like what?
And yeah he showed me what he did and I was like I'm gonna have to mimic that.
I think the key for me would be that you cook the carrot just enough where it has the mouth
feel the consistency of a hot dog.
That's correct. That's for most people. And then you get the flavor and then boot.
In Atlanta we got something called slutty vegan I promise you, you eat some of those
burgers, you would think you're eating the real deal, daddy. And also some chicken patties I got
at the house. I got these from your local grocers, the Morningstar Spicy Vegan Patties.
Those are good?
I promise to God.
Wow.
Try them out.
I'm always afraid of the vegan chicken. And I think it's just because they put a little
apostrophe in it and it's like C-H-I-C-K apostrophe N and I'm just like I don't know
that apostrophe is like doing a lot of work.
Are you full vegan?
No.
No, no, no, absolutely not.
I was going to say, I was going to say, I think you'd throw it out.
People should try it.
I mean, if you've ever been like, if you've ever been to a planta queen, I think they
have a few of those across the country.
I think there's two of them here.
There's one here, yeah.
Yeah. They're, it's just like really good.
Like the idea that you, it's a struggle
to make good plant-based foods.
It's expensive though, right?
There's so much, no.
It's not really expensive.
You're not buying expensive proteins.
You buy two steaks, what is that, like $50 if you've been
in a nice place?
You know how much I paid for frozen peas last night?
I went to Publix yesterday on the way home,
I'm like, I'm gonna make a little dinner.
There's your first mistake.
Frozen peas.
A bag, a little bag, it's not like,
350.
I'm sorry.
Damn.
350.
Two for $7?
I almost didn't get them.
Peas are super underrated.
I like frozen peas.
I'll throw peas in anything.
I was making pasta last night with a little sausage.
Throw a little pea, some peas in there. I love peas. last night with a little sausage, throw a little peas in there.
I love peas.
Anthony has a core memory that makes him hate peas
because one time, and this is,
I don't know if this is a Spanish thing,
Juju, if you could help me out,
it might be in your background,
but does your family force you
to eat whatever's on your plate?
Absolutely.
So that happened to him one time
and it was at his aunt's house and it was peas
and he just did not like peas and she's like,
you're not getting up until you eat all those peas.
Not only she forced him to eat it,
he threw up all over the table.
All over the table.
I was with that way with eggs for a long time
because my grandma was like, you're gonna eat those eggs
and you're gonna eat this banana
and I was like, grandma, I'm dying
and she's like, oh, so eggs I hated for a long time
and now, but not back now.
My granddaddy done woke me up plenty of night
at the dinner table, go to bed, to bed bro just go to bed and throw out
the peas mm-hmm fall asleep I'd rather fall asleep and have to eat something I
don't like but vomiting on the table I feel like if you're a parent you learn
your lesson they're like never do that yeah it's sort of inhumane isn't it to
force someone to eat something till they vomit yes your grandma used to make you eggs a lot, huh?
Mine too.
My grandma, God rest her soul, your mom, Nana, lover,
did not make good eggs.
Very runny.
Very watery.
Very runny eggs.
While you guys are both here, I know why we say,
who won, but Juju doesn't know why we say it.
So can you guys rehash that inside joke?
Yeah, every time, it would usually usually be my brother was down visiting so Christopher my brother and I would play golf
My brother and I stink Christopher's really good
So there's no doubt who won but every time we walked in all sweaty from golf
My mother would be there on the couch also visiting and she would say who won
And it's like Nana every time it was just like oh Christopher did Nana, but she would say, who won? And it's like Nana, every time.
It was just like, oh, Christopher did Nana.
But she would say it just like that.
Who won?
Would she be surprised every time?
Yeah.
It's like, oh, that's nice.
I think Dicky's gonna win this game.
You have a great old lady voice.
You do.
The best was going to the grocery store
with my Nana and my Uncle Dick and like them being,
like they would get separated
and my nana would just, Dicky.
Dicky.
Did you ever get lost at the grocery store Chris?
I didn't because I'm a big cart rider.
Like I'm riding that, I'm getting on the front.
I'm riding like a garbage truck.
You guys know you hop on, hop off.
I'm not getting in, I'm not sitting in the kid chair.
My daughter does it now, she takes after me in this.
She loves to just ride on the front of the train.
My parents lost me at UNO's once.
What?
They tell everyone this story.
The Italian joint.
I was like three, and they were at UNO's,
and the waitress, or waiter, sat them at their table.
That's deep dish, UNO's?
Yeah.
Chicago.
Yeah. It wasn't in Chicago though, apparently it was somewhere. That's deep dish? Who knows? Yeah. Chicago. Yeah.
It wasn't in Chicago though.
Apparently it was like somewhere in Orlando.
Yeah, I think it was in Orlando.
We were like on a Disney trip or something.
I don't know how to do that.
This is actually a great segment potentially
for it could be this show, it could be the main show.
Old show bits that you don't get,
that you just need a reminder of.
I have one and I don't really know if it's a show bit,
but I don't know what COB stands for.
When Stu Gott says COB, I'm like,
was that some sort of acronym that we don't know about,
like cash on delivery, and did he just screw that up?
Like I have no idea what COB stands for.
Should we all tell him, we all know this, right?
Close of business, that's what it was.
Oh. Oh.
I don't know that acronym either.
I actually didn't know that one either.
I know it as EOD.
End of day.
End of day, end of day.
Or EOB, end of business.
I thought everyone knew.
It was just me and Juju that knew.
I thought that was a stew thing that he just messed up.
COB is when Willow nibbles you.
She's cobbing.
Yeah.
Well, I actually have another.
This is sort of in a similar vein, a story that I have told on the show before, but you said your parents losing you at a pizzeria.
My parents lost me in a New York City.
New York City.
You guys watch what we do in the shadows?
No.
I've seen two.
You are the most devious bastard in New York City.
I thought you were talking about the El Paso salsa.
New York City. I thought you were talking about El Paso salsa. New York City. New York City.
Yeah, so I was being babysat by my father,
and everybody else in the family left.
And we lived on the 26th floor of an apartment
in the east side of Manhattan.
And my dad fell asleep, and somehow I left.
I was, I think, one.
I think she said I was like 11 or 12 months old.
Wow.
Somehow got down, all those, probably just hopped in an elevator, I think she said I was like 11 to 12 months old. Wow. Walked, somehow got down, all those,
you know, probably just hopped in an elevator,
looked around and said, hey guys,
and just jumped in the, and a friend of the family
found me like a block and a half down the street
in like a long t-shirt.
He said I looked like a girl,
because I guess I had like fluffy hair,
and so he pulled up my shirt to see if I was a boy or not,
realized I was a boy, and then said, oh, oh I know this kid and then took him back to
my grandparents house and my mom had basically gotten home about three
minutes before I got turned in if you will and she was about to kill my dad.
I have a lot of questions about this good Samaritan.
How good of a Samaritan is he?
If I was a girl you're saying there might have been a different entity?
I'm just going to maybe ask.
I would just kind of just either way I'm going to save you.
Now listen, I don't remember every detail.
I was a toddler.
Obviously I don't remember any of this.
They told me this story a bunch of times.
How he figured out I was a boy I'm not sure.
I'm like, are you Israel Gutierrez?
No.
Who are you? Who won? Speaking of UNO's though, I got a question. The world
most famous question ever. Do you stack a draw two over top the other draw two that
someone else put? Oh, and UNO? Can I put two draw twos out? That's how I want to play.
My wife and my kid, I don't play that way. I think it's funner when you stack them up. Yeah, official rules.
And Uno did this on Twitter a couple years back.
They said, no, you can't stack them.
Don't tell me my house rules.
House rules are house rules.
Just say we're with pool.
You can play pool like the traditional, really strict way
at every bar you go to.
But nah, you're going to play the way friends play.
Once I purchase the Uno cards, the rules are mine to create.
I can do whatever I want.
Make it your own game.
Exactly, so if I wanna, and it's funner if you stack,
like oh, draw four, draw four,
the next guy's drawing 12 cards, that's great.
That's fantastic.
You can't stack a draw four on top of draw twos.
No, no, no, that's different, no, no, no, no, no,
totally different, yeah, this is the tweet right here.
Also.
Like who are you to tell me?
Uno needs to know who it is to be Uno.
Like Uno now has, not surprisingly, this Uno brand,
they're like, all right, how do we grow and make more money?
So there's different versions of Uno now.
There's like two sided, it's over complicated.
I'm telling you.
I might be a violator.
I think I might be a violator because of a, yeah,
the draw four rule because in college,
I used to be like, draw four, draw four, no, drop to drop to drop to drop for uno out. Yeah
So I think I have violated if you get dealt that good a hand, I mean you deserve to win
Yeah, I mean they have this one uno game that if you pick a card at the wrong time a bunch of cards shoot at
Your face. Oh
That just seems random like how did I lose just because the machine told me I was gonna lose There are far better feelings in the world than having like three cards left and they're all wild
It's like my daughter sitting over there and I'm like, there's nothing you can do
And then she hits me with like a draw for and I'm like damn it
Got your ass. She beats you a lot. What's awesome. You played, you know, um
You guys are speaking a foreign language. I don't even know I know the name
I know the name of the game. I knew it was a card game
I couldn't tell you the rules when you guys are talking about draw to draw for stacking. This is crazy
No idea. It's a very simple game of colors. That's all you have to see what kind of childhood
I had never played it. So it's not numbers
It's called no there are numbers and you can match numbers or you can match colors
Okay, and you go around trying to get rid of your cards
And then when you get to the last card You know or you have to draw here
There's a question how many cards if if you yell uno for me, how many cards do I pick up?
I think it's also like a two really. That's it. It gets to yeah. I think that's what we do
Yeah, okay
What is the rule on when you are able to say uno and when somebody can catch you because most of the times?
People say it with the card in their hand as they're putting it down.
It's like I didn't put the card down yet. I thought the rule is you got to put it down before you can say it.
I am so slick with my six-year-old with this. I'm like, Uno!
Juju is correct. You draw two cards when you do not get Uno.
But I'm gonna need Juju's ruling on this then too. What is the rule on saying Uno?
Read us the rules for calling Uno, but go ahead. You got to get creative. You got to
deke out the other players,
kind of like, uh.
Or you act subtle.
I'm always like, oh man,
I guess I have to reach for a card here.
Oh no, I'm just kidding.
Like, you always gotta do the little,
I'm not, you can't separate.
You gotta keep them together until the last second.
And so you don't, it's not like poker.
You don't have to show your cards.
You can make it seem like you've had one card
the whole time. That's another move. Because if you only have, some people hold their cards under the table make it seem like you've had one card the whole time.
That's another move.
Because if you only have to,
some people hold their cards under the table,
I'm like, no, no, no.
Cards gotta be above the table.
I have no idea how many cards there are.
Have you ever met this person,
you play with this person,
where they're like, all right,
the color's blue and seven right now,
so the top card here is blue and seven,
but I'm throwing down like four cards at once.
People get slick with like,
you stack them up against each other,
so it's like, look, here,
I'm throwing out this blue seven, but they really just put down three cards. That's like next level cheating yeah
it's a little bunch. It's some 69 guys out there too where they put a nine on top of a six because
it's upside down you have to pay attention. Watch what that line is. 69 guys. Where's that line?
Where is that line? It says if you don't yell uno and you're a cop before the next player begins
their turn you must draw two before the next player begins their
turn you must draw two cards.
Once a player has no cards left, the round is over.
The controversy is when I'm putting the card down, before I release the card, someone tries
to catch me on uno.
No, you have to have it released because you don't have uno left until you put it down.
Right.
Graceland, is that Santa?
Uno!
At the same time, you cannot call it, you can't pre-uno. You don't even know.
Is there a false uno penalty if you yell uno for somebody else thinking they only had one card and
forgot but they had two? I think that's a penalty. I think you pick up two cards for that. I think
you should. I self-imposed that penalty on myself when I was in Orlando last month with my family
when I called uno and my nephew and he had two cards and I picked up two cards because I'm a good player.
Nice.
Self-imposed penalty.
A little pre-annual.
A fair player.
Yeah.
Fair player.
Probably not a good player.
Man of integrity.
Yeah.
A man that reminded the teacher that homework was due.
Welcome to Mystery Club.
Yeah.
Welcome to Mystery Club.
Hey.
Hey.
I've been wanting to do like a, not a Tony show style thing,
but like a metal arc after dark game night thing.
Yeah. Because me and Danny GQ figured out how we can hang a camera from right above where you guys are sitting
Oh, I got a camera game will be pointed down and we can play and the and the board will have like its own camera
Oh, that's great. So like if you would do risk or something like that, you can see the game board at all times
I like to phrase you play catchphrase. Is that uh, there's so many versions of this type of game where it's like they get a list of things you can't say kind of thing.
Well it's no, it's basically hot potato or musical chairs but in a game right?
So it tells you what you have to give the other person to say and there's no rules, you just can't say that.
I mean the rules are you can't say it rhymes with, you can't say it starts with silly things like that.
But you can do whatever you want and then the timer's going off as you're talking and so it goes faster. Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick it goes faster tick tick tick tick tick and then when it gets to the end everybody's nervous and
They can't really say and then if it goes off in your hand the other team gets a point and if you
Steal it like if they give enough clues where the other team can now steal your answer you get two points and that game
Is fun by the end people start throwing the thing at each other after they get the clue. It's it's chaos
Love a good game night. Yeah, what was the game where?
You were trying to give somebody a clue on a word you were thinking
of?
Clue.
No.
Taboo.
You couldn't say anything aloud.
It's taboo.
You were drawing.
Pictionary.
Pictionary is a great game for something that we're trying to do here.
Yes.
Because then you show people drawing and it would be good.
Right.
We played taboo, the first Tony show, and it was like you have to give hints.
There was no drawing, but there was certain words you can't say shortly after tic-tac-toe not surprising my dad is a good drawer
So it's not surprising that Pictionary would be like he's the kind of like right now you should do this and you can show the
Camera after just draw like a face. He my dad is way
She's a sneaky good artist well the key to the key to Pictionary though is that you need to be able to draw something
Just like that like what animal is that what an animal a bird it's a spider no spider I guess the key
to talking like Michael Cain I drew it too quick I mean I just said you're a
good artist never never that's wrong radio draw someone's face like I just
said you're a good artist never Who faced you when I drew him? You never talked him up to such disappointment before.
What a sad cat.
Like I just said my dad's a good artist.
I drew it in two seconds.
Draw, like flex a little here.
Draw something impressive.
I don't know what to draw.
All right, we'll talk while you're doing it.
We're not gonna watch you.
I don't know, I just wanna watch.
I'm just saying he's better than me.
Like I do not have, or like drawing is not a skill of mine.
It's not my thing.
So I'm really looking into this Uno rules here,
and I don't really see a mention of calling a false Uno.
And apparently there's customizable cards
where you can draw your own rules.
I've never played with any of those.
I have.
It's not good.
Wait, you're saying that other people can't call Uno?
No, no, no, like if you put down the card,
or someone calls Uno on you and you don't have it, there's no- If you actually have two cards. Yeah, there's no like if you put down the card or and like or someone calls me to on you And you don't have it. There's no you have two cards. Yeah, there's like a penalty
Yeah them for them Richard Nixon there. Wow. I I'm sorry to the audience
Show the camera
The cat that you could not discern what it was to a pretty decent Richard Nixon
The one right in front of you. Yeah, there you go, he's got it.
On the preview, there you go.
It's not good.
He can do way better than that.
It's not terrible.
It took me 10, 15 seconds.
I just remember you doodling at a restaurant
and all of a sudden you're holding up a napkin
and I'm like, wow, that's pretty good.
If you were to ask me what US president this was,
I would say that is either Richard Nixon or George W. Bush.
Either way, it looks like a president.
Okay, Thank you
Like who died and maybe Pablo Picasso
It looks like a president so it's just a regular human being
Into a balloon there
What other game should I consider for my game night idea?
I'm thinking like tabletop games.
I saw a post online on Instagram the other day
that a family was renovating their house
and they pulled up the carpet and underneath the carpet
there was a full-sized Monopoly board.
Oh wow.
Like a human-sized Monopoly board.
Yeah, like I'll look it up right now.
Human-sized?
Yes, so the humans are the pieces.
Right, that was a good situation probably. That probably was I'll look it up right now. Yeah, so you human side. Yes, humans are the pieces
Situation probably it probably was like a hostile before they move it. I'm gonna see if I can get the picture well Wow, so how big are the dice?
They need to make a speed Monopoly game my only problem with Monopoly is it's just too long it goes on forever forever forever
Well, it needs to be like a one hour Monopoly game. Monopoly Deal.
I think Jessica Smetana, she does Monopoly Deal.
It's like a card game version of Monopoly.
Really?
Like Uno, you don't know Uno, but I think it's like a...
Oh, I would play that.
You know what?
I was at a house warming party the other day and I was about to mention the fact that...
Did you bring a gift?
Well, that's what annoyed me.
I was about to mention the fact that they offered Settlers of Catan.
Yeah, get your thimble ass over herean. Mike we can hear you. Oh shit.
Me and Juju were talking about how they probably use Monopoly War to play like crazy sex games.
See that? Well you guys could probably bear that.
Oh wow that is huge. Yeah underneath the living room carpet. Wow.
Yeah, so I was I was gonna mention that I was annoyed that they offered
Settlers of Catan as a game night game
But that's what really bugged me Chris is if you have a housewarming party now you can register for a housewarming party
Oh, that's like so now when you when you get married people give you gifts when you have baby people give you gifts when you have
A housewarming you can register for that that seems like a bit much. Yeah. That's like friend inflation.
Like you shouldn't have to pay that much
just to be friends with someone.
Yeah, you're getting a toaster and you're loving it.
That's it.
You're not getting anything.
You're not getting anything.
I'm coming over, your house will be warmer
because I'm in love.
You're getting a bottle of wine.
Yeah, you're getting a mid-price bottle of wine
or a hanging plant.
Correct.
That's how you're getting it.
Or the live, laugh, love sign.
Yeah, what we actually did is pretty much to that thought is we bought him a bottle of extra
Anejo tequila.
Drank about three quarters of that thing before we left.
Before you left, yeah.
It's a gift for everyone.
We're all here together.
Alcohol is the play for sure.
And also like for, I feel like that's always a safe gift for like an older man.
Like my dad after a while, you can't get him anything.
He buys everything himself and then like,
you know I could take him to games and stuff,
but after a while it's like, what are you drinking lately?
Here you go.
Because it's just easier to do it, you know?
One time I Ubered straight to my cousin's house.
I totally forgot.
I'm like, oh you're drinking whiskey?
Jameson.
I'm not ready.
30 minutes later I was there.
Did you guys see that there was, transition.
Did you guys see that there was a list
from Awful Announcing of the top ten around the horn?
Panelists of all time and you made it did not
Salting I made the Oli. I made honorable mention. Oh, I saw you. I saw I know the thing you I saw you on there
So I mistook you for top time
Pablo Tori some people at least now it proves that if you're on the honorable mention, some people
just associate you in there.
There you go.
Right.
It didn't really bother me that they misspelled my name.
It's kind of like the SNL cast thing.
It's one of those things where you don't expect to be on the top 10, but when you start seeing
people who are, that's when you get mad.
Yeah.
No, it wasn't so much that I wasn't in the top 10
that bothered me.
It wasn't so much that they didn't spell my name correctly.
They put it in the bold one.
In print it was correct, like in the actual text of it,
but in the bold listings of who made the honorable mention,
I didn't make it.
What bothered me is in that explanation
of why I wasn't all honorable mention,
it called me, and this was the best, I guess,
compliment I got, a volume shooter.
Oh God.
So first of all, if I'm on Around the Horn a lot,
it's because they asked me to be on Around the Horn a lot,
but secondarily, volume shooter?
Like I'm somebody that just gives
take after take after take after take.
Say like, oh, he pours his heart out every once in a while,
he shows, but volume shooter?
It's like they didn't even,
they've never seen an episode that I've been on.
That one didn't make it.
Did we invent that term for Carmelo Anthony?
I thought it was Allen Iverson.
It could be, but yeah.
Jorge Sadano?
Well, I mean, what's wrong with George?
They must've just been talking about your Halloween costumes.
That's the other thing.
You're a volume Halloween costume shooter
because you are impeccable.
Conor McGregor, Drake.
I fell off toward the end and that's probably because
I had to do that stuff at home
because I had the studio at home
and I didn't have any help.
But that's their most famous episode,
their most popular episode.
And they call me the king of Halloween
and I'm an honorable mention with two T's.
Now, this didn't bother you, of course.
That's right.
No, you weren't bothered.
Yeah, I don't bother at all.
I started looking at the list.
I have not gone to the top five yet.
Woody Page has to be number one, right?
I've seen Woody Page.
I don't remember.
I don't know if it's signed, not gonna be signed.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I don't remember seeing.
Maybe Black Stone.
Of Woody Page.
I don't remember.
Kalashaw.
I'm just talking about like the old Jackie McMullen.
I don't remember seeing an episode
where I don't see Woody Page.
I think Woody was number two.
If I recall the list correctly.
Man, I'm gonna scroll here. I know. J.A. Adonde's gotta be up correctly. Man, I'm gonna scroll here.
I know.
J.A. Adonde's gotta be up there.
Yeah, J.A.
J.A. not only.
I wonder what J.A. stands for.
I was gonna say, I've been sitting on this joke forever.
If I ever said like a goodbye, J.A.,
you're not only a great friend,
but a great starting hand in poker.
But I'm not really gonna get that.
It's not a bad joke, but if you don't play poker,
you don't think about it.
It's a good joke.
We can actually, let's make some news here. Why don't you come once you comment on around the horn ending? Oh, is it?
Story that said it might come to an end August 25th. Yeah
Like they've announced that it might
Not confirmed. Oh, that's just reports. Okay, sorry
You know how those are they're usually pretty true, but I know I had no idea about that
I've no idea about the future of the show or anything back haven't been on the show since June. Oh
Hmm. Okay then
Nice. That's why that's why I disrespected you on that list. They just haven't seen you probably recently biased recently biased
You got something to say Chris we'll be back
Folks a lot has changed.
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slash ymx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Chris I have something to admit. Oh boy. But it's like I'm not ashamed to tell you. I'm
ashamed to tell like Mike Ryan and Amin and them but I very much regret asking to be a
part of the shit chat. Why? First of all I mean. I feel like people have mailed it in
with that. There's like. Not Amin Elhass has there I was like a mean and Zack Harper and Brad Williams are really into it everybody else
I feel like has
Yeah, no there see a mean we probably should have known this right like he's so descriptive when he talks about his dreams
Annoyingly descriptive as descriptive when he's talking about yeah pooping Like smell, texture, and everything.
And I'm just like, ugh.
And I never get more scared than when I see on the previews
shit chat, image attached.
What is that picture?
What is that picture?
I don't want to see it.
Luckily for you, we've never had anyone throw in a piece of shit.
Because I had a roommate in college who had a very long turd, was super impressed by it.
No, just one.
Oh, okay.
Super impressed by it.
Took a picture of it, put it on a t-shirt, and wore the t-shirt.
Oh my god.
To go out to college.
So that had me scarred.
A shit shirt?
Wow.
I got a homeboy who randomly every now and then, he'll take a massive dump and just send
me the picture.
Yeah, you son of a-
I feel like we all have that friend.
I've been sent a few shits in my life.
For sure.
Honestly, I've stopped, there was one time
where Brad randomly, Brad Williams randomly texted me,
he was like, please participate in the shit chat.
I was like, was this a conversation?
Were you guys talking about me behind my back?
Like hey, maybe he's got some incontinence or something.
But yeah, so now every once in a while,
I'll throw the emoji on there, but then, I don't know,
I just feel like it's gross.
You don't need to know if I'm pooping,
and if you're doing it at the same time, is that cool?
I do often, sometimes I'll wait 10 minutes.
If I'm actually pooping and a text comes in
from Mike that he's pooping, I'm like,
I don't wanna just put back right now.
Then he'll think I'm pooping only because he's pooping.
So I'll wait 10 minutes later and be like,
now I'm pooping, even though I'm really done. Even though I'm really done pooping. So you're worried that he's thinking that you're only pooping only cuz he's pooping so I'll wait like 10 minutes later and be like now I'm pooping even though I'm really done even though I'm really done pooping
So you're worried that he's thinking that you're only pooping cuz he decided I don't want Mike thinking that I'm just pooping cuz of him
Oh, right, and I also don't know how to ask out. I don't know how to ask you just leave
No, you just you should wait till the next notification come up and then just take that as I'm leaving
Yeah, and so that person would always feel bad. Yeah, my shit was one too much the next time you're repulsed is this conversation proof that there really are too many group chats
Yes, any chance. Yeah, it's a good proof of that. There's way too many on Mike's phone. Oh, yeah
Let me ask you this in all seriousness. I'm proud Lee. I am NOT in the the shit
Jack what is a typical?
Comment it's just about one zone. The way it started was poop emojis. When you poop, it's just like a logging system to make sure we're all regular as a group. So it's like, yeah, it's good to know poop, poop, emoji, poop, like when am I pooping? Now I can look back at the week and say, oh, okay, I tend to poop in the morning. Like, yeah, I just tell you where like what city're in. I mean, as I was like, pre-radio, ate Indian food last night
and it's all like, he gives like way too many details.
Like, whereas most people are just poop emoji.
I'm pooping.
It's part culinary chat, it's part travel chat,
it's part group chat.
You complaining about group chats is hilarious
because the one group chat I'm in with you
is our bowling group chat.
And it's literally my father-in-law,
my good friend Anthony, and my brother.
Those are the people outside of me and my dad in it.
And my dad is just so confused by this.
He has my brother's number, so now there's two other numbers.
My friend Anthony and my father-in-law.
He's just like, why doesn't it say their name?
What's with the, and I'm like, dad,
you can save their name.
I don't know either of their phone numbers by heart.
Right, but it's one of those things where that's your control.
Like if you went in, you can set, OK, this number is this person.
I don't want to work that hard.
They're texting me.
But it's so funny the way he's just like,
how do I know which one's Al and which one's Anthony?
All I see is phone numbers.
And I'm like, oh, this is such a funny conversation.
How about put Al or Anthony instead of a phone number?
But you can do that. Let them do it for me. They need to sign their text. That's what Greg is about.
That's the first initial. We went to one more together, the Fantasy Football League.
He's in that one as well. In that one, people had the courtesy to sign it at first.
Hey, this is, I'm Ju. Yeah, thank you. He does that group chat? Oh my God, he's just like, I don't, you tell me when I need to be,
like I'm not even reading that group chat.
Well, I mean, group chats, come on.
That's good to Alex, salute to Alex.
Yeah, Alex be, yeah.
I had my first spinoff of a group chat
where I think Ethan over here started a Puck Boys chat
off of our hockey chat.
And I'm like, I don't, I can't keep up with this much.
It's basically the hockey chat for people who don't want to use invisible ink when
they talk about other stuff yeah that's basically what it came like we want it's
that it's not even really a hockey chats more like rules social guys chat yeah
I'm offended it's a we're tired of Mike's rule I hate dude yeah no
church is just something about being in a group chat with Mike Ryan is the
invisible link it's just his friends do, I'm not blaming him.
He's not even often the biggest culprit of this.
I hate the pictures where I don't wanna like scan a picture.
If you're putting a picture in here,
just have it be a regular picture.
And if it's invisible, I better be Sam Wildman.
I better be blown away by whatever that picture is.
It's like, oh, this guy resigned with Calgary. Oh, I don't like that
Well, that's the thing because the invisible ink in that chat is supposed to be for non hockey items
I think I never told me these rules
I'm assuming the non hockey items are a chug like you're not supposed to go in that chat with any that's what I what's the puck
Boys chat. Why am I not I'm offended?
Why is there a why is there a section of the hockey chat?
So I'm not a part of? Ethan created this chat.
This Ethan is very eager.
Yeah, one of these days when he was like, probably had a little too much to drink up
right inside.
But what's the real, like what is this, like the Puck Boys talk what?
Because there were guys in there who were like, he wanted to chat but we didn't want
to have to invisible link everything, like he said.
So we just like started talking and then he's like, who should be in here?
I'm like, I don't know, it's your thing.
So he invited like some people.
Look at him trying to distance himself.
He said everybody except Chris. This is Fuentes and Ethan coming up with a group. First of all don't put me in it.
Ethan came up with that. This eager Ethan. Ethan and Mo Cheddar. Quote.
New chat for the hockey homies that want to talk to each other but don't
necessarily want to talk hockey all the time. Signed, Ethan. Ethan thank you.
Thank you for absolving me. Signed Ethan. Who's in that chat? Why wasn't I added?
Real quick, Fuentes, I don't have your number saved so I only know there's two people in
this chat that I don't know. Read off the names that you know. I'm livid right now.
He right now he in Paris I think with Ethan. Fuentes am I okay? Am I gonna get in trouble?
Am I gonna get kicked out of the chat? No. I'm okay. We're here. Josh Appel. Yes. Mauricio. Ross. I'm livid.
Fuentes. Those are the ones that I have. I am livid. You're in. I am livid.
Hey Ethan. Talk to Ethan. Whenever he gets back from Connecticut or whatever he's doing.
Why are you livid? I'm not. He just talked about how he wanted less group chats.
I'd be thrilled to be left out of somebody's group chat. Are you kidding me?
My Ecuadorian brain in there.
Who?
Mike's Ecuadorian.
Oh yeah, that's Joel, I think.
Joel.
Yeah.
He's in the main hockey chat.
As much as I hate this many group chats,
if there's not a response to my attempt to be funny,
Oh yeah.
F you guys.
Oh no.
There is something about,
Give me a courtesy ha ha.
Oh no.
Something.
I'm with you. If you write something in a group chat and then like nothing is written for six hours
It is a bad feeling
That also applied to the shit chat where you make a very solid description about what you've just done in the can
And it just sits there. It just dies nobody probably response nobody says I wish I was you that sounds like a glorious experience
There's some back and forth, but it's usually Zach and Amin Nobody responds, nobody says, I wish I was you. That sounds like a glorious experience. Nothing.
There's some back and forth,
but it's usually Zach and Amin.
Okay.
Like right here, here's today at 10 41 a.m.,
Amin, first dump back on the mainland.
Oh, God.
He was in Hawaii for a wedding.
Well, see, that's historic.
Hawaii, wait. So I can see that.
Ain't Hawaii considered the mainland now?
I, yeah.
I think he make a 50 continuous right? Yeah, 48 continuous.
And then he sent an Instagram video and said watch this video
It looks like it's just like something oozing out of a cup that looks like shit. Yeah, that's worth it. Did anybody respond?
No, that's it like it's 120 now. That's a good three hours. Just no response.
Oh, yeah.
Sitting there, I mean, just let it sit.
How do you feel?
Yeah, that's soul-crushing. No
Worse than sending out a joke and crickets and then some other topic comes up. Oh, no. Oh god
Somebody just put the tweet in there of like someone signing somewhere. It's like but what about what I just yeah I'm gonna start apologizing when I have throw a bad joke. Sorry guys
It's new this Ethan you got a reply to your own bad joke. Yeah, like you guys did you see it guys?
Did you see it? Yeah, hello kicked off. I thought it was funny. Yeah, I'm texting Ethan right now
Do you want me to give you some samples? No, no, I don't want to but yeah
I just want to get there's been a lot of money give you a lot of Olympics talking there a lot of
Olympics I think there was some some soccer talk in a little bit
I mean sometimes I'd be with my girl and then the guys group chat I'm in with this uh, it's a
Counting things, uh, yeah, and so I'm sitting there and these brothers are single so they be sitting in some wild shit
And I open the phone and there's some ass
Damn it, baby. They crazy as hell like they baby you see this
There's been some questionable activity in the hockey chair
There's been some questionable activity in the hockey chair, and I feel like Mike polices that just for me.
Just for me.
He's just like, hey, not everybody.
It's like, whatever. It's hilarious.
I don't really care.
Thank God you're not in the golf chat. Thank God you're not in the golf chat, because that thing is...
It's a Republican chat, if I've ever been in one.
Izzy dropped a banger of a joke the other day that had me
fucking laughing all out I'm not gonna. Oh and the puck boys one? Oh this is great. Maybe you'll hear it one day.
It was hilarious Izzy. Thank you. Just so you know it was great. Man. I thought we were out of time.
But yes I'm always shocked like how many group chats Mike Ryan's in and because I
If one of those group chats is going off. Yeah, it's like yo quick
Like notifications off so I can't imagine like four or five of them in my car
When I'm like I have my Bluetooth hooked up like the chat pops up on like my dash thing and my wife like now
She kind of gets it. She's just like, what, shit chat?
And there's a shit emoji.
She's like, what is this?
And then like, Puckdale talent.
Like, what are these things that you're in?
I'm in a baseball bunt, Asfai Garcia or something.
It's Bleep Asfai, how do you say his name?
Avaciel Garcia or something?
Yeah.
Close enough.
That's who we don't like in that chat.
But yeah, I'm in different chats, and my wife sees wife sees them pop up and she's just like what are you?
What is this? Yeah? Yeah, like I well it helped me in one thing
I didn't have Izzy's number saved either and all of a sudden everybody's wishing him happy birthday
I'm like, okay
Now I have this number that I might need for work one day
If I want a bitch about having a boat invite or something like that, you know
Check the check the check the puck boys chat I wrote I just wrote to him secret hockey
chat dot dot dot hurtful just add dead to me you're getting the boat
repulsed so if we have one little little Dan LeBattard show day,
come on down. All right. Take about seven. As long as Ethan's not there. I will be more than honored.
I'm gonna do a little shout out right now for a random listener. We're gonna do two
shout outs for two random listeners right now that you're just sitting around and we
appreciate you so much for listening. I want to shout out Derrick Gilman right now. Wherever you
are Derrick Gilman, I hope you're having a day you deserve.
D-Gil.
Also, Michael Graham.
Oh my God, big Michael Graham.
I hope you're having a day you deserve as well.
Salute to you for donating to Camp Fiesta.
We appreciate you.
Salute to Jeremy Tachay.
I have one too, actually.
Eddie Fuentes, who I met at Brightside,
he gave me a great video of me crying like a baby
when the Panthers won the Stanley Cup.
Yeah.
Is it your brother?
No, no, it's a guy I met there.
And he said, I was there with Cynthia, and the guy came and said hi to us like oh man
I love the show love mystery crate. I'm a Fuentes too. I'm like oh okay that's cool
and then he had this video and I'm like oh send it to me I'm like oh thank you
and then I just I've been trying to shot him I just keep forgetting and now good
shot he just reminded me so thank you Eddie for the video. I got one quick
question for Greg Cody because jumping Charlie I just learned this week is a
peer is an excited peer do you know ways to calm that down because I don't want to visit
you if your dog's gonna pee on my foot I haven't figured it out yet I really
haven't cyber you sorry do we hear that part of the sniffle part of the bump
was that yeah well you don't know we were starting as you were counting down
yeah I didn't know it was myself.
Your countdown snuck up on you, huh?
Correct, it did.
You, oh Roy, hey Roy.
Roy!
You betcha!
It's presented by DraftKings,
staying tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings
and all it has to offer throughout the show.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
It's a gambling company.
It's, yeah, thank you.
You're gonna learn more about it throughout the show. So informative. Anyway we're stuck on no run first
innings particularly because the show gets recorded in advance and I can look
these games up in advance. So we're gonna do no run first innings we're gonna
parlay at Mets at Angels this weekend Tampa Bay at Houston and San Francisco at
Cincinnati. Yes you're just gonna bet under on the first inning so basically
you're betting on all these teams to score zero runs in their half of the first inning.
You're waiting for a lot of excitement in those first ends.
You betcha!
You betcha!
I want to talk about another thing,
and that is obviously when you're watching the Olympics,
you're into a lot of sports you normally don't watch.
This past weekend, I discovered air rifles and air pistols and the outfits are so cool
we talked about a little bit on the main show what you guys did about the
Eyewear what was her name makes you emotional. It's okay. Yeah
I think Kim I think Kim so that was the air pistol the South Korean air pistol
That's it correct you put that up and we're talking about the eyewear
Had a really good joke about this Indiana Jones villain. It looks like something out spy kids Yeah, youwear. I had a really good joke about, looks like an Indiana Jones villain.
It looks like something out of Spy Kids.
Did you just say I had a really good joke?
He did though.
I did.
Tony laughed for like three days straight.
We have a great collab on the Dr. Jones.
Yeah, you followed my plan for the last time, Dr. Jones,
and then boom, she shoots.
But the rifle contestants,
they had like these full blown futuristic outfits,
and I don't know really what to make of them.
Seems like a lot for a shooting competition.
Seems like these are kids who played video games
who grew up to be actual accurate shooters here.
Yeah, I think they're gonna have like
an e-sport Olympics pretty soon.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's happening too.
Thanks for being engaged on this, guys.
What was so great, we didn't see the outfits though, did we?
Well, you know, I have like the C team back there. I thought you might have more on it.
The C team? Well, I said it looks great and you guys all stared at me.
Like so you didn't even have like any kind of yeah one of them's my brother
and the other one's Jason who probably has a mouthful of rice right now.
Jason's part of our A team. So is your brother. But Jason is like doing so much all day
that like you got to to get him in slots.
Including eating the largest lunches I've ever seen.
Jason could put it down.
Also the creator of the pizza roll-up
that we never got to see.
The pizza blunt.
Yeah.
We got to get a picture of that one day.
Share it with the audience.
Speaking of the future, I saw the ISS
pass over Miami this week.
It was pretty neat.
Have you guys ever seen that happen?
Is it just a big ship?
No, so it looks like a little bit bigger
than like the brightest star
and it moves kind of like an airplane
except it stays like in the same spot in the sky
and it just like kind of moves over you.
It's very cool.
I saw one of my meteorologists follows that I've been, have
you guys been keeping up with this tropical disturbance that's not far?
Oh, it's coming.
No.
It may not be coming. It's still too early to come.
It usually doesn't come.
Talk to me when it's a cane.
I follow a number of nice South Florida meteorologists. One of them is, his name is John Morales.
Oh yeah, I love that guy.
He's great. And he tweeted out a little like,
hey, the ISS is coming, it's gonna be over Miami
tonight at 9.39 and sure enough, I went out there,
boom, right there, right in the sky, it was great.
Is that why I saw on social media,
you and Lehman were out and about last night.
Was it to go see that?
We were out and about, yeah.
Were you going to a restaurant or something?
We went out to eat also.
Nice, I think it made a night of it.
You know, I'm not a big fan of going out to dinner
when I have to get up early at like 6 a.m. the next morning.
And this morning I remembered why.
It's terrible.
Really?
Yeah, it's not, I just feel terrible the next morning.
You feel terrible.
I only had like two glasses of wine.
See, that's the difference for me.
I can go out to dinner, but I won't drink.
You can't drink.
Yeah, that's right.
Even like eating a lot of restaurant food.
Like I just woke up this morning,
it was, this is an unnatural time for my body to be awake.
Yeah.
At the same time, like I don't wanna dilute my whole week
down to two nights of having fun.
Yeah, that's also terrible.
I'll just, but I'll tough it out.
Like I'll have a bad morning until like a little bit.
Are you guys, do you have to give yourself pep talks
in the morning?
Yes.
Like to get up this early, as early as we do?
No, I just lay down in the bathtub.
Well that's old me, all right.
New me just lays in bed and.
What is your pep talk?
What do you say to yourself?
I just think of what day it is.
Like Monday's hard, because it's like shit,
it's just Monday.
Once you get to Tuesday and Wednesday,
you're like, all right, we're almost there.
Tuesday's easy, because Tuesday,
if I'm on the schedule, I know your dad's here,
and then there's like built-in content.
Like I know I'm like, all right Tuesday's a good day cuz Greg's here
I don't know if you guys do this
But whenever I'm on the show and I get here at 8 a.m
Which means for me since I live in Lauderdale, it's an hour drive same. Yeah, I'm you know way earlier than normal
I'm out like a light for three hours like after what you're saying
Like I might actually miss the gym sometimes
when I do the show.
I have to take out my contacts when I get home
because the lights bother my eyes so much
that I have a front headache every day at like 1.30.
It's coming right now, I feel it.
So as soon as I get home, I take the contacts out,
get under a blanket, two hour nap, like out cold.
Monday is a big post show nap day for me.
That's really the only day I'd say a nap post show.
Have you guys, did you guys have Charlie Kravitz
on Mystery Crate when he was here?
Yeah, we tried to kidnap him, it didn't work.
Tried to kidnap him, like keep him?
Yeah, I think he'd be fun to keep.
Do you remember anything you talked about on Mystery Crate?
It doesn't matter if you don't.
TV shows I think.
We did the drag, there was like a skit.
Yeah, I did the TV show rankings.
Yeah, TV show rankings that I found on Twitter.
I love Charlie.
I worked with Charlie as a producer when he was on HQ
and Debatable.
Bonifides.
Yeah, and now I love that he's like,
you can actually see his face now.
You went from only hearing his voice
to then seeing his fingers on Debatable
to now seeing his full face.
Nice fingers.
OK, I don't.
Himbo.
Nice face.
Yeah, like Himbo.
Yeah.
Nice guy.
Kind of like that.
And so I, but every time I see Charlie, I have a little. Hembo. Nice face. Yeah, I like Hembo. Nice guy.
Yeah, kind of like that.
And so, I, but every time I see Charlie, I have a little bit of a scare in my body because
it happened to me that thing where you accidentally send a text to the wrong person, and the text
that I sent him took some explaining.
So, you, he's the one you meant to text, or you sent him a text on accident?
I meant to text my buddy Chris.
Ah, thank you.
And instead, not you. Oh. Chris to text my buddy Chris. Thank you.
Not you.
Chris C, also, but also not you.
C what?
And.
C.
C Chris.
C-O?
C-A.
Oh, damn it.
And so.
I'm further down.
I want to explain what time,
this time of year,
this or time this was for me.
Like this was post divorce,
like when I am sort of making up for lost time when it comes to partying
Oh boy, having some fun, whatever. Like I was I was just buttoned up like just did nothing as a kid
Like didn't drink till I was in college. Did you text? It was very guarded. Did you text him you up?
No, I did not do that.
That would have been easier to explain.
Would have been easier to explain.
I text him
Man, I text him, man, I text him,
I'll take half an ounce.
Oh, my man.
Oh, there you go.
And 10 tabs.
Oh, yes.
My guy likes to party.
At the time, I was, I'd done some hallucinogenics,
did some LSD, by the way,
for those who ever want to do it or talk like look
anything you do just do it super responsibly, do it super responsibly, I did a little bit, a little bit, a little bit
all right you don't do a whole lot otherwise maybe you can turn it into stugots, but uh
I sent that to Charlie Kravitz and holy crap
Oh my god
Did I did my stomach just go nuts?
It could be way worse
For like five minutes
It could be way worse five minutes it could be way worse
I mean, but I'm Charlie Kravitz is like on the list of people that I could just easily be like my bad
Which is why?
We said tabs you met Tylenol ten tablets of time now see that would win the work
No, because I asked for half an ounce what else am I asking for a half an ounce of right tequila
I just said no
Like maybe not the best combination.
I was like I like look if I'm going to send a drug order to one of my
producers I better just make it one drug and I said first of all Charlie
obviously that wasn't for you. You could just be ordering the smallest steak ever
like a half ounce steak. The tabs. The tabs is what lost me. I was trying to find the joke of like what could be half ounce steak. Get it? The tabs. The tabs is what lost me.
I was trying to find the joke of like,
what could be half ounce.
Here's where I just crossed my fingers
and I said, man, I hope this dude smokes, right?
Because I was like, tabs.
I meant potatoes.
Dabs?
Ah.
Dabs being a typo.
If that was your makeup, he did not believe you.
He responded, I said, first of all, that wasn't for you, second, sorry about the typo. Yeah, if that was your makeup, he did not believe you. He responded, and I said, first of all,
that wasn't for you, second, sorry about the typo,
just to clear things up, I meant dab.
Oh, you made it worse.
Doing too much.
You made it worse.
And he responded super nice.
He was like, oh, that makes much more sense,
and then said other things about being green friendly
or whatever.
And to this day, I have been wanting to tell him
and ask him if he just assumed I was some,
you know, the Bill Walton just doing LSD all the time.
Can we text him and ask him about it?
Yes, let's do that.
I'm gonna text him right now.
For sure.
Should I call him?
He told all his friends about this.
He's like, you guys won't believe what he's doing.
Well, this is what I'm wondering,
how many people he told.
I know he didn't tell Dan.
Definitely told Dominique.
He told other people.
Should I call him or text him?
Oh, call him on speaker, for sure. I'll call him on speaker for sure Chris Cody
love Kyle loves a call on air love the call Kyle I don't know if I'll answer
I've never called Chris Cody so excited cuz now he's not the one doing this is
great I've got him being like hello hey Kyle you're on Mystery Crate. I think you called the wrong person.
Oh, are you not the person who Izzy accidentally texted a drug order to?
Oh, no, that is me.
I was actually...
That's hilarious.
I was just thinking about that the other day.
Can you recap the story for us, Charlie, from your angle?
Yes. Yeah. Can you recap the story for us, Charlie, from your angle?
Yeah, I had just started producing Highly Questionable.
And I knew Izzy very tangentially because he had just started hosting the show.
I don't even know how I had his number saved.
Yeah, I mean, you probably didn't. That's probably the reason why.
And you sent me like,
hey man, can I pick up a bunch of then tree, tree, tree
emojis and then cap, cap, cap emojis at like six today.
And I was like, wrong number, but tight.
Did you say cap emojis?
I think they were cap.
No, I didn't use any emojis.
You sent an emoji drug order?
You loser.
I might've used the tree for the weed order,
but I don't know if you remember this part, Charlie,
if you can hear me okay.
I said I ordered the weed portion
and then I said a number of tabs.
Tabs?
Yes.
And then, right, so that's when I text you back
and I said clearly that wasn't meant for you
and I tried to fix my mistakes
because yes, I was ordering tabs of LSD.
Instead I tried to convince you that it was dabs.
And.
Oh no, I knew.
That's what I was trying to figure out.
I was like can I get away with a typo here?
Full disclosure.
Yes.
I remembered it was tabs
but I didn't know if I could say that.
That's the only reason I'm calling you is to make sure.
By the way, I'm a very responsible partyer,
just so you know.
Yeah.
I believe it, sounds like it'd be a great time.
Thanks, Kyle.
Appreciate you picking up, bye.
Those 10 tabs are for him and Anthony over a few times.
I honestly don't even think we used them all,
because it is a lot. Doing LSD is a lot of work. Anthony over they're not just I honestly don't even think we use them all because like
Doing LSD is a lot of work like you've got to prepare you got it's it's just too much and haven't done it since like
2018 I like that he still tried to protect you there. That's what I love about Charlie Just came up with a totally different text even though we called him on another guy that you can hear smiling when he talks
Yes, like public or here the smile. Hey, what's can hear smiling when he talks. Yes. Like Pablo Tore.
Oh yeah.
You can hear the smile.
Hey, what's up guys?
He's like, yeah, I do remember that.
Crazy.
Check out the Greg Cody show.
Yeah.
With Greg Cody.
If you ever can't find Stugatz,
we're probably hanging out.
Eh.
I saw that there's a Deadheads for Kamala Zoom call
on Thursday, so if Stugatz was not at work yesterday.
Joe Burrow will be on that.
You know why.
He'll probably smoke some weed and forget about it.
Ha ha ha.
This is special.
This is special.
This is special.
This is special.
Folks, a lot has changed.
We're at a new studio.
My daughter's six years old,
my father's turning 70, but you know one thing
that hasn't changed?
The great taste of Miller Lite.
Another thing that hasn't changed?
That it's less filling.
So what is the best thing about the original Light beer?
Miller Lite sparked this debate in 1975,
and we still haven't settled it.
I was just talking to my dad yesterday
about how much I love drinking Miller Lite
because you can have a couple and it's not filling you up.
It's the great taste of a great beer,
but not that bloated feeling afterwards.
Miller Lite keeps it simple,
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It's the beer that strips away everything you don't need
and holds on to what matters most.
A light beer that tastes like beer,
the original light beer since 1975.
You don't have to choose what's best.
Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling.
Tastes like Miller time.
To get Miller Light delivered right to your door,
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