The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Lack of Joy Roy
Episode Date: April 24, 2024Dan is convinced Roy's lack of joy is a bluff, and Zaslow says the anxiety of his fandom is like drugs. Then, it's time for AGAINST! THE! SPREAD! as Billy gets himself into some trouble. Plus, Orlando... Brown Jr. is here to make fun of Greg Cote's draft video and talk Chris Cote's traffic altercation and how he'd handle it, the stress of being drafted, memorizing area codes, and the Top 5 Shit Talkers in the NFL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is the Don Leventor Show with the Stugats Podcast.
For so many years, Aslo, at ESPN, we, because the Panthers always kind of stunk.
They never made it to the playoffs never won
Playoff games so the entire time we were at ESPN our entire hockey
conversation for eight years would be some form of aren't the playoffs great in hockey and
Then we'd move on we wouldn't talk about any of the details even though right now in hockey
You have six or seven teams that any of us details even though right now in hockey you have
six or seven teams that any of us could say wow those are great teams
championship worthy teams and it's the first time we've ever said it about our
local hockey team and that's the goal for our local hockey team goal it's it's
that or it's a failure
it is i'd i wouldn't say it's a failure because i
can appreciate uh... a team being great and i can also appreciate if hockey
happens
and they run into vegas again there are something like the biggest again because
what you know the rangers are also good
they can get knocked out and i will be disappointed but i will understand that
they are still great
and hockey just happened to them it will be my, but I will understand that they are still great, and hockey just happened to them.
It will be my pleasure to watch them eliminate this champion
in a sport where they made,
Tampa made hockey matter in Florida.
And now the lower tip of the peninsula is feeling
what is a legitimate hockey town in hockey.
No, we want to end them. We want to finish them.
We wanted to begin with them
and we want to end their reign.
A lot of sensation right now down here.
And on top of that, what you get is,
and this is the part of playoff hockey
that I really love, okay,
because the goal horn is the best sound in sports.
It's the best, when it's on your side,
there is no better sound.
So you get three goal calls from last night and you got roy bluffing over here with
on laughing you're crazy I don't send the penalty box just go see the penalty
box right I'm tired of your bravado right because you're bluffing about
you're watching overtime hockey and you're like I'm totally relaxed you're
allowed to be nervous human and you don't care enough if you're someone who's not scared in those moments there is no sports fan so
psychotic
as to be really the one who always fails as a panther fan for thirty years but
now suddenly totally confident that hockey can happen in overtime my team's
always going to win it's bulls**t.
You've known me for 20 years have you ever seen me nervous at all?
The anxiety though when you're watching last night the anxiety is good like I'm
I'm watching in horror the entire game but it's my drugs the anxiety during
big heat playoff games and big panther games
I'm a mess the entire game, but it's my drugs
I want it pumped right into my veins and I can only enjoy the final result after we wind up winning
I love the anxiety you're sitting there and like that's cool
I don't even kill doesn't even make sense like the anxiety is so good
Yeah, but who are you talking to here? You're talking to me?
Wait, come on. Wait when we went to Toronto for Luongo getting inducted. I'm pretty sure you called some guy
We were interviewing the wrong name. No, I didn't call him by it was Brian McCabe. I didn't call him by the wrong name
I just were you nervous. No, I was cold
No, I was cold. It was cold.
25 degrees.
He was cold.
I was cold.
I was cold.
It was freezing.
So you're now claiming that you're never nervous, Roy.
Yeah.
I don't think you're experiencing it
at the height that you could be experiencing it.
Well, he's a journalist, guys.
You forget this.
You think he's just some sort of fan.
He's impartial.
He's up in the press box.
I get what Roy is saying.
He doesn't root for anyone.
Yeah, Roy, it's cold in the press box. He doesn't root for anyone.
Yeah, Roy, it's cold in this room
and sometimes my teeth chatter
and it makes my voice kind of shaky when I'm talking.
And it probably sounds like I'm scared,
but I'm actually just freezing
because you guys keep this room at 65 degrees
like it's an ice rink and it's not.
I'm with Roy.
And also if you're giving two minutes for bravado,
then I'm sorry, half of this room should not be in here.
This is the most bravado-filled Miami Heat room in the entire peninsula full of sensation.
So thank you for bringing this up because I don't feel there has been, one voice has
been missed in the last three days of what has been the crazed insanity of the Miami
Heat have played a single playoff game and this room is threatened to be destroyed from the insides on the level of disagreement
about what this team is. Jessica I have not heard from you as someone who I have
noticed when this show suffers some sports sportsdom you enjoy it in a way
that makes me happy to see i don't like that that our
that are misery that you speak on behalf of the audience in really relishing that
it is funny when teams that are cared about in here lose and what roy is
denying the audience is i'm never scared i'm never nervous if i give you know
our motions you can never hurt me because I'm never nervous when you know good and well that Jeremy cares about the results
and he shits himself at the end of the game.
It's not satisfying to root against the Florida Panthers at all.
The Florida Panthers carry none of the Miami Heat rabid fan base vibe that the Miami Heat
do, mostly because Roy is their spokesperson on the show.
Less obnoxious, less obnoxious.
Well we know we've been losers for 30 years.
That helps.
I mean there's really nothing,
I'm not gonna laugh at the Panthers.
I'm on, rawr, I'm a Panthers fan.
To Jess's point, I hear a lot of this from our audience.
They root against the Heat,
but a lot of them have taken the Panthers as their team.
America's team?
Yeah, I mean our fans, I think our fans tend to root for the Panthers and root against the Heat, but a lot of them have taken the Panthers as their team. America's team? Yeah, I mean, our fans, I think our fans tend to root
for the Panthers and root against the Heat
because of how we talk about them.
I think that that's fair.
And if we're talking about the Heat, to be fair,
the Heat are playing Boston right now,
and really, it would be funny if both teams
could lose the series somehow,
because I think most fans of the show
would probably fall into, ugh, Boston or Miami, I don't know.
It'd be funny if Boston lost though.
As long as neither one wins the championship.
But funny if Boston lost.
Again, really funny.
At this point, it would be hilarious if they lost this year.
Well, funny if Boston lost, but I don't think that our audience,
the entirety of it, because we've got a much larger audience than just Miami,
I think they'd be perfectly happy with the heat being eliminated today
so that we would stop talking about all of it,
because they don't want us to become a sports show rabidly
emotional about both
uh... but here is uh... the voice of heat fandom as expressed by jeremy
let's go
and it's annoying and everyone hates it
your jessica you just did your role in a way that was so indifferent it was so
it was so casually indifferent that it gave me nothing
I'm gonna need better passion from you if we're gonna have a Jeremy's
Help me out. How do I how do I do this? Give us give us a real roar? I mean go
What some basic yeah, you got to feel it in your throat put some bass into your voice a little bit here
Yeah, nobody's scared of that thing. Let's go
But it was indifferent you'd agree that there wasn't a lot of passion behind your roar come on
It's a dangerous species get behind it
Dan it would be like
Hurricanes no one wants to see them win anything the heat heat are like, that's a 1A1B situation
with the hurricanes and the heat.
But then it's like, the Marlins, I think,
dolphins maybe third, Marlins and Panthers,
it's like if Billy's happy, then I'm happy,
if Roy's happy, then I'm happy,
if anyone else is happy, I'm probably not happy, sorry.
It's a great list, and I can't believe that
in some ways here, sports has brought you guys together,
and where Mike Ryan resides and Jeremy reside
It threatens to tear us all apart
Wait, I have a question Roy if you like are impartial and you don't feel like the nervousness or what?
Are you allowed to feel happiness if they win or are you not allowing yourself happiness either?
Yeah, what's your reaction when they score the winning going over it like is it a fist pump? What do you do?
Yeah, it it's Dan with the fist pump.
You're being like quiet in the press box guy?
Yeah, I'm crying.
Well, you can't do that.
It's like Dan, the fist pump, when
Udonna's has him score that bucket.
I imagine it's like, you know how like,
Dan, you said your dad and Whitty both do the thing
where they flip people off under the steering wheel.
It's like that, but it's a fist pump,
like under the steering wheel, you're like, boom.
Well, you gotta be careful in that press box.
Tim Reynolds will come for ya.
I don't think you're enjoying it
the way that you should be enjoying it, dude.
Well, I'd go another route.
If you wanna judge his fandom,
and I understand what you're saying has some disappointment,
because yes, he's gotta be objective.
He's a journalist.
I maintain that one day, that name,
his name in a picture will be somewhere in the press box
saying this is a Roy,
this is where Roy ate potato chips, right next to Jeff Rimmer he's been
going for a long time but what you're describing what you're describing is how
you watch games is absolutely to me feels like your Dexter of sports fans
whoa wow there's a psychosis there that I don't even understand that you don't
fear or care enough to be
broken by it's over time and i know i'm unreasonable about how i care about this
i'm scared of it this is not fun why i'm an adult i'm a parent i shouldn't care
about this way
my sports identity is tied up right now in whether we're one one or two oh and
i'm scared of the tamper bay lightning because i've seen for the last five years as they win in these spots. So I'm a sociopath basically.
I'm saying that- No you're lying. It's very clear you're lying. It's not the
truth. You're like you would shoot yourself in the foot with a nail gun and
be like that didn't hurt and then you'd bleed out and die and that's how you get
your face in the Panthers press box because it happened at the Panthers
arena. But like you enjoy this this you like this you're nervous
What it happens you're just you're like are you embarrassed that if you get excited people are gonna look you like wow you're super
Unprofessional guy are you embarrassed by that no, that's just not how I go through life
I don't I'm very even keel and very stoke person all right cuz like I was on the heat broadcast for 13 years
We won two champs. I got two champs to bring some a two-time champion
Broccoli mentioned already and we've established I was still a maniac sitting there next to Mike English and John karate like every hey
You all know who I am right? I'm not hiding anything
I think I think I think you could get excited man. Oh, yeah, it's Roy. He's judging your lack of joy Roy
He's saying Roy's joy is something that you're doing it all wrong. What are we doing it for otherwise? Well, I'm keeping my joy internal
Why is that better for you? Why as you can't hide yours? That's why externalize it. Well, you're right
I can't and you know what you put me here. You know who I am
I don't need interest. You know what this is
I definitely knew who you were this morning when I said the name of
The guy who runs HBO says loud yeah
Speaking of joy also sports banglem, that's correct. Joy Taylor one of the many proud South Florida sports stories
Hey everybody, it's Mike and typically I record these Miller light spots in the studio
But I requested that I specifically record this one from my home office because I got
a window and I'm looking outside at those beautiful fishtail palms knowing that in just
a few seconds I'm going to go out there and crack open a can of Miller Light because while
sitting outside by my fishtail palms is usually a good time, I like to take it up a notch
and make it a Miller time.
That's right, you crack that puppy open and you don't have to think about what you're drinking for a darn second. A lot has changed over the
years including my backyard. Lots of landscaping being done right now. But the one thing that
hasn't changed is the undebatable quality of Miller Lite. You don't have to choose
what quality is the best. Miller Lite has great taste and it's less filling. Tastes
like Miller Time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere
that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories
per 12 ounces, fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer. Don LeBattard. While I was gone,
a third Zagacki was born and I think I heard, correct me if I'm wrong here,
Jeremy trying to partake in a fourth Zagaki and I am here for a future where I am surrounded
by a chorus of clucking Zagakis.
Stugats!
You know what it means when you have four Zagakis dead.
You don't have one.
This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the StuGats. Chris, are you gonna go to your whiteboard now
and tell us what you were dealing with in traffic?
Yes, I am.
Okay, here we go.
We have a classic right here.
The traffic's on the record.
We got two lanes of cars.
This went back dozens of cars.
Two lanes of cars here.
Those rectangles are cars.
Yes.
Hold on a second.
Where is-
Can you tell us straight?
Yeah, hold on.
Yeah, where's your car?
You said there was a guy up in the curb.
There's nobody up on the curb.
I'm trying to get there, folks.
I need to get stuff that's off of the parking lanes.
Like, are they here and you're already, like, in the thing?
Like, is this a canal into the lanes or no?
A canal.
I don't know what you're talking about.
So this is a curb.
There's a curb right here. There's two curbs
Okay, just give me a second
For people who don't understand where where this arena is because this is funny
This is swampy marshland this arena is sinking. Yes, Dan. It's Florida physically into the
It does the reason that it has something to do with this story. It does. The reason that it has
something to do with the story is only what I'm about to tell you, which is this is the
vastest of parking lots that has as many exit ramps as you could possibly have in the history
of South Florida. Nothing has been built, been built better than this in terms of getting
traffic out of a place because it's the Everglades. There's space for miles. It's just sinking into the sea.
And I found one of the rare lanes where they're converging.
It's two lines of cars right here on the left,
right here on the right, converging into one.
So when you're exiting up top here,
there's only one lane of cars.
This is past the point of the different lanes
of parking spaces is what I'm asking.
This is just leaving a parking lot.
No, I know, but no, this is like,
when you're in a parking lot in an arena,
there's multiple lanes, and then you can kind of
just cut in at any point.
This is beyond that point.
Now which car are you?
Can you put like your initials maybe?
I'll be here.
Put a little star.
Little CC on the left here.
Okay, so this guy, this guy, old guy with his wife,
was way back here, and he decided,
I'm not waiting in this line,
I am going to hop on this curb. So he had two of his tires here, and he decided I'm not waiting in this line I am going to hop on this curb so he had two of his tires here and two up on the hair roll for the canals
So yeah, so he's driving now, so he is skipping the line, and I'm sitting here, and I'm like this mother
What does he think he's doing so now the power really?
So now car was he ended up right here, and this car decided you know what this guy's come far enough
We're not letting him in.
So we trapped this guy here and all the cars started moving
and this guy who skipped like eight people
was stuck right there and when I got up there.
Wait, how did those cars behind that car move
if that car was stopped, they're trapping him.
Because it was up on the curb
so people were still able to go
but people just had to do that thing where it's like.
It was like a bottleneck thing.
The guy set a pick.
People were inching, like people were on each other's asses.
It was just, I am not letting you through.
So I get up to the spot now.
I'm of course not going to let him in either.
Shockingly I following this, but I have to say something.
So I get up to this part.
Once Mike, did anybody else say anything?
Nope. There was not a lot of comments.
You're the driver. I'm the driver.
So you have to scream over a passenger.
I did. I rolled down my I rolled down the passenger window.
So should things go awry,
you would have coverage. And this guy,
when he saw my window go down,
he put his window down and I go,
cheaters never prosper.
Now how much thought did you put
into what you were gonna say before?
Like was it the first thing that came to your mind?
Ooh, is that the only thing he said?
It's just what I thought he was doing.
I thought this guy was trying to cheat.
How much time elapsed in this whole process?
I would say the guy jumped the curb
and I watched him get, probably for like five minutes
it took me to get up to him.
So I was, for five minutes I was watching everyone
just like, nope, not letting you in, not letting you in.
So when I got up there, I had to say something
and I said it.
Cheaters never prosper and I'm telling you.
Where is that from?
It's just a saying I have.
Where did it start is what you're asking phrase right yes and
you're saying it's my saying oh no you're asking it's a cliche it's a cliche
is it's not a ten commandment is it biblical though I don't think it's
biblical and the guys getting yelled at a part that I didn't sell the first time
telling this the guy's wife is just yelling at him the whole time she hates
that he did the thing but this is this is where I think this sociology of this gets interesting
Okay, cuz you guys should be joyous. Everyone's leaving a Panthers game gloriously. We were slaying the dragon
This is a glorious time to be a panther fan
But you are now yelling at somebody across other cars and across a passenger seat where I'm assuming you and your buddy
You've talked out. out hey look at this like
My buddy was saying not today
That was what he was adding
From this guy what I said was amazing he got a cheaters never prosper this guy yelled as angry as he could
Side I would look at you like what did you say?
You mean my friend the rest of the way home all we kept saying was I ain't cheating I know
I think he got I got a Chris Chris won this one for sure now that I Jeremy it was great
Did you ever think of saying something else? Yeah? No what I say is great cheaters never prospers exactly
That's a perfect saying for right there. What did Lee Harvey Oswald yell when he shot Lincoln six tempered tyrannus
I would have went with what your friend said yeah
Not today's not today pal a finger way like I'm a tumble finger wag that would agree. Yeah, what you said
I would lose that yeah, don't do that one again
That would be great. Yeah, what you said, I would lose that.
Yeah, don't do that one again.
Can you find for me the origins, please,
of cheaters never prosper?
Because I did just think it was something biblical,
but it doesn't seem, it's the never prosper
that makes me feel that way.
I don't think it is.
And so now I wanna know what it is.
Chris is saying, and it's ridiculous,
he's saying what else could be said?
It's the perfect thing.
It's not only that-
He's trying to cheat, and I'm letting him know
Hey, you try to take a shortcut not today. You're getting to impart across two lanes of traffic your moral judgment
No, but your your principled stand of that look
We might be in traffic and I might be denying my joy to instead to partake in rage not today
and I might be denying my joy to instead partake in rage, not today, but also I'm going to infringe
on all the things in your life by showing you,
you're a bad person, I'm a good one,
and there's no prosperity in you being that kind of bad.
There's a cheaters never prosper trivia team
out of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Not helpful, not helpful.
I've got it from Oxford Reference if you'd like.
Boring.
The saying is recorded from the early 19th century,
but a related idea with an ironic twist
is found in John Harrington's epigrams
of the early 17th century.
Treason doth never prosper.
What's the reason?
For if it prospered, none dare call it treason.
I think that would have been better.
The Book of John Bible.
Shall not pass.
That would have been good.
I've noticed that Jeremy doesn't have any of the self-consciousness You shall not pass. That would have been good.
I've noticed that Jeremy doesn't have any of the self-consciousness that professional
broadcaster Chris Whittingham had about the pressure of reading because Chris Cody has
choked a couple of times under the weight of having to read for the show and you were
reading Old English with stumbles and the broadcaster in you, Chris Whittingham would
have ravaged his own face off.
I just persevered.
That's how you got to do it.
Look, when things are live,
when you're going through a live broadcast,
you have to just persevere whether there's a tumble or not.
These are the types of things that you learn
if you're a professional broadcaster, like me,
not with a championship ring, though, Zaslow.
Have you ever felt,
so you don't feel the pressure of reading the way, Chris Cody,
we were overhearing one time,
it's one of my favorite moments of vulnerability
where we surreptitiously taped someone
who did not know they were being listened to.
And Greg, didn't you have some trouble with the reading
in a way that was uncomfortably?
You mean the betting company that I read the ad for
and then I made a lot of money because of that bad read that I
Did I knew I was being recorded? I didn't know you guys were watching me do it
I was doing an ad read and I was just butchering it and you guys saw me on zoom
Just like mother effing myself because I couldn't read well which one feels worse though with the pressure of reading
I'm much better at it now like we're about to do against the spread in a little bit
I'm gonna crush that read. Are you kidding me?
Draft cranks.
He also made, to what he said, a lot of money,
so how much could he really feel bad about that?
Well, just the vulnerability of reading
is something that people here around here
are self-conscious about.
Okay, yeah, he did prosper.
["Pomp and Circumstance"]
It's time for... Against the Spread!
And it is sponsored by Draftkings.
Stay tuned because you'll hear more about Draftkings and all it has to offer throughout
the show.
Draftkings, the crown is yours.
Roy, get us going.
Alright, we got game two of the Kings and Allersers tonight the Allers won 7 to 4 in game 1 I think
that's gonna continue go with the Allers as a favorite by one and a half goals
against the spread! Against the spread! Jessica!
It's always going to be joyless!
Tonight, Heat Celtics.
14.5 points is the spread.
I'm taking the Heat!
Yeah!
How do you learn that?
Why are you taking the Heat? Any particular reason?
I mean, no.
They narrowed the gap in the fourth quarter, and? I mean, no. Okay. There you go.
They narrowed the gap in the fourth quarter
and then they widened the gap again.
They narrowed it for a little bit.
Yeah, I'm embarrassed on behalf of DraftKings
that we don't have better gambling analysis.
Well, you know they want people to lose, right?
That's how they make money. Whoa!
All right, we've got the Oklahoma City Thunder
and the New Orleans Pelicans tonight.
No again.
I think.
Hold on, Tom.
Hold on.
Trying to save a teammate here, Dino.
I heard you stumbling through it.
Billy, go walk in traffic.
Whoa!
I take the Panthers plus one and a half
Against the spread the dogs because this practice is pretty
Also put her on the pole juju does draft Kings want you to lose it let's not put that one up why not
Rising executive Billy at metal arc media that was enough we could leave it there
Why? Why shouldn't he sink into it?
Alright, I'm taking the Oklahoma City Thunder thing Shane Gillis Alexander's doing an incredible job
I think he broke the pelican what what who Shane Gillis Alexander
Don't act brand-new Dano don't act brand new with me. Stop that. Oklahoma City Thunder minus seven and a half tonight
I'm taking the Thunder. No again. Okay, so spread why?
Why yeah, I just they broke their spirit I said that already
Okay, so that last game Shane Gillis Alexander hit a clutch shot to break the pelicans
It was a neck-and-neck game right shake up. I'm sorry Detroit, Michigan fell
the pelicans it was a neck-and-neck game right shake up I'm sorry Detroit Michigan fell it was a neck-and-neck game Shane Gillis Alexander broke their
spirit and I think they're gonna cover seven and a half okay so broken spirit
broken exactly no no Zion Williamson broken spirit the part that I'm trying
to explain to you guys okay as someone who is compromising whatever
journalistic integrity I have left in my career, shilling for a good
old gambling company. We want you to bet on these games because it is fun to bet
on these games, but everywhere else on the DraftKings Network,
DraftKingsNetwork.com, the analysis is exceptional. In the lineup of things that
we have happening here, we're the outlier with we come in here and give you
gambling advice. Juju's very good at it, the rest of our that we have happening here, we're the outlier with we come in here and give you gambling advice.
Juju's very good at it.
The rest of our show stinks.
Juju takes great pride in it.
Juju does analysis.
Juju is careful about it.
The rest of our team is just reckless with other people's money and Billy's reckless
enough to tell DraftKings, tell everybody the great big secret that the gambling companies want you to lose.
So you don't think the heat are going to cover?
I don't know.
I'm torn on that one.
Zazzle bring us home.
Yeah I do.
I'm actually going to treetop what Tony said there.
I think the thunder went big tonight.
Blowouts breed under so under 211 and a half.
Thunder pellets.
Against the spread. Against the spread. Against the spread. Against the spread. Against the spread. Thunders so under 211 and a half thunder pellet against
Okay, but why are you guys doing this the real analysis of that game because the pelicans without
Zion I've been as interesting as the basketball playoffs are to me the fact that so many people are hurt at the starting point of This so that we can see whether OKC is really going to be tested because as a young
team I only see two teams that I think can play with the Celtics and I think
it's Denver and OKC maybe Minnesota maybe maybe Minnesota but those are the
teams that I think might give Boston a challenge but the knock on OKC is
they're young and everybody's waiting around in their first playoff game to say
women how'd you get held to the nineties once it becomes playoff
basketball and now the rest are going to hold the game in the mud
yeah i a i don't i'm not with you on the thunder i think the funding of past
this series i think that was the game day you know had a little bit scared put
into them
but uh... i i for me it's it's denver and I think Minnesota. I think Minnesota can get Boston Iran as well
Not okay
Phoenix is gonna make it look different in Phoenix. I don't know what that no
Not take that against the spread. It's always the analysis when anyone is up to oh, that's always the analysis
And then somebody steals the game Don LeBataard Billy somebody has written in here. I need way more
Just said in his headset haven't you been tall of them too it sounded like you were speaking aloud my bad
Stugats! But that goes without saying.
Right.
That it couldn't have happened without me.
Well, now he said it.
He didn't say it.
He said it off the air again.
Greg, why?
My apology is sincere.
Greg, why?
Greg.
Yeah.
Greg.
He apologized.
Greg.
Sincerely.
This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stugats. This man is a Super Bowl champion.
He is somebody usually in the shadows, these offensive guys.
Now that there are Kelseys roaming around, some of the interior linemen are showing their
personalities and stuff, but this guy has interest in video.
He has interest in being creative. And last year he had a four-year deal with the cincinnati bangles so thank you
or landell brown jr. for joining us and i i just want to show you something as
we got started here because
uh... chris cody's father greg cody is very proud of his mock draft
uh... chris what is this grainy video you're showing us from nineteen sixty
four here of your father are promoting what he promoted well first i want to tell
orlando that my dad is it a writer for the miami hale to be weird if my dad's
like this
my producers dad wanted to do a mock at so sorry for a little uh... a person who
does the show are show
has a dad figure who's in the old timey newspaper writer go ahead chris
and he is excited about his mock draft.
He tries to predict all the first round picks
and he's trying to get his audience excited for the draft.
So I wanna play this video for you
and get your thoughts on it.
All right.
Hey, Instagrammys, Greg here.
It's a big day.
It's a big day.
It's release day for my 33rd annual
NFL mock draft find it online
Find it online book it
Bank it. It's big
It's extremely big and I got nothing else to say
He's out of my draft so bad like anything more Orlando
Please tell me how sad that video was.
I mean, that is some funny shit though.
That's some funny shit right there though.
That's top of the line.
That's top of the line.
And he's talking that shit.
He must know something.
It's extremely big.
Extremely big.
Holy cow.
And yo.
All right.
If you wanted to make your front camera that blurry,
what would you put like lotion on it?
Like what do you think is on the front of his camera?
That's the first thing that came to my mind.
He must've just took a phone call or something.
I was like, I mean, there was just no way of hell.
I'm like, but you know, sometimes man,
older people are like that.
How old is your dad, bro?
69.
Shit, makes plenty of sense.
Makes plenty of sense.
Hell yeah, i love it
uh... do you find and i love when there's a personality like you hiding in
the trenches because uh... you got the offensive lineman have to be so careful
about uh... i don't know they seem very scared publicly about causing a
distraction
so it's pleased me to see you exploring your creative side because you like
okay i've had great success.
Now I can have the confidence of playing around
with some creative things.
It's nice to see and it's rare.
It's a few people get that kind of confidence
this early in life.
Yeah, well, man, I've been very blessed and fortunate.
You know, obviously my dad played in the NFL.
My mom has a history in broadcasting.
So I feel like I just, I spend a lot of time being myself.
And some of my parents always vocalized to me was
be yourself and be expressive in that way.
And, you know, kind of what you,
what you guys see with the mini mics or anytime I'm miked up,
messing around with teammates or anything like that,
that's just me being me.
And I've always been like that, man.
And, you know, it's weird because offensive lineman, as always been like that man I'm and you know it's weird because
offensive lineman as you as you know that you know they get the stigma of being the quiet guy
they're more reserved people you know and it's not that I'm necessarily attention seeking but
I'm gonna be me and you know I'm a somewhat of a loud personality not annoying but a loud
personality. It's so rare though it really really is unusual. You don't fit necessarily, do you?
Because there are so few I've met in my entire career
that are this comfortable being like,
okay, I don't need to be as reserved
as everyone at this conservative position tends to be.
Yeah, not at all.
And also too, you gotta keep in mind,
offensive line is such a physical position
and you're always battling.
And you know, this person that you guys see right now,
I mean, I'm not this dude on the field
when the helmets and shorter pass come on, you know,
and my competitive side comes out
and I'm able to be somewhat the aggressive side of myself.
And so, you know, I think all of that stuff kind of,
kind of goes hand in hand.
Obey, when you talk about the mic, mic dub thing,
how much, what percentage of it doesn't make air?
Like the stuff that you hear and say inside the trenches,
inside the line, can you, can you give us like a little bit
of a taste of it?
Oh, yeah, man.
Well, I mean, I've, I've had some battles, man.
You know, one of my favorite guys to compete against is my teammate now,
Trey Henderson.
And we've had some battles talking plenty of cash money shit.
And, you know, it gets really vulgar in there.
It definitely gets personal, but not to the extent of anything.
Extremely disrespectful, more so within the game.
But I mean, it's a lot of trash talking, man.
I've you know, guys have said all different types
of things and you know, a lot of times to be honest, man,
some of your better players are normally
your best shit talkers too.
So.
How about this?
Me and you, we do a side business together, right?
We take this to the NFL.
We give them the mic'd up rated R version, right?
But you have to put it behind a paywall
and then we get to hear what you guys actually say,
but you gotta pay for it.
Oh man, I mean dude, that would do numbers, bro.
That would do numbers and I'm with that.
How's your trash talk in traffic?
We were talking earlier about, I had an incident
where I hit somebody who was trying to, you know,
cut a bunch of people off.
I hit somebody with cheaters never prosper.
How do you feel about that one?
That's crazy.
I'm not a big road rage guy.
I kind of got a lot to lose.
I'm also big as hell.
So, you know, I don't think anyone necessarily
will use fist to fight me,
but I'm not a big trash talker in traffic.
I have had the bird thrown up at me a few times,
but that quote,
that's a hell of a quote though. I don't know what I would respond to that with.
Well, what the guy responded with was, I ain't cheating.
That's funny as shit.
So what do you do when people kind of start something with you because you're so big?
And like, that is probably one of the most rare of occasions, man.
I don't think anybody has done any stupid shit like that since maybe I was like 13 years
old.
I don't like a very, very, very rare situation where someone is going to approach me in that
manner.
I really, in my adult life, even in college,
they'd be a full play. Have you ever had a situation where you're in a spot
where there's an altercation and you're sitting,
so you don't do anything aggressive,
but just to give the idea of your size,
you just simply stand up and it all ends right there?
just simply stand up and it all ends right there?
Shit, I don't, I can't think of anything
off the top of my head.
You know, I can't really think of anything off the top of my head,
but I think I'm definitely somewhat normal looking.
You know, sometimes you see bigger people
and they're kind of funny looking.
You know what I mean?
Like something's up.
I don't know, like a funny feature,
nose, ears, eyes, face looks weird and shit.
I somewhat look normal.
You know what I mean?
So I think a lot of times what happens to me is,
people see me sitting down and then I stand up
and they're like, holy, you're way bigger
than I thought you were.
That's always the response I would imagine would I don't think anyone has any idea
The the size and strength of what has to be out there to win a championship
I don't I don't I don't think the average human being can you articulate it to them?
Yeah, um just in terms of size like well when it to you, the thing that I'm amazed by with everything you guys do
is I don't know what someone like you, your build, what you find strong.
Like when you're up against somebody, I would imagine when I'm watching football and I see
Miles Garrett, I'm like, that person is just stronger than everyone is playing against.
Yeah, he's a very strong individual. You know a lot of
times for me myself man. I'm a big dude and I pack a big
punch. I'm you know, I'm heavy as hell, you know, I do a good
job creating leverage with my hands and my hand and arm
angles and things like that. But you know there are guys
man and there are times where I mean a guy like miles Garrett is incredibly strong and you know that. But, you know, there are guys, man, and there are times where, I mean, a guy like Miles Garrett is incredibly strong. And, you know, that's more so his
functional strength, you know, his ability to bend in the ankles, the knees, the hips,
and create leverage through that type of movement and explosion. So, I mean, man, it's very football,
especially offensive line, offensive tackle is a very, very difficult position to play,
period. But man, every now and again, you run up against
those freak athletes, man.
And guys like Myles Garrett,
I mean, incredibly strong football player.
Yeah, draft day is tomorrow.
You were drafted.
How stressful is that for someone
who's in the process of being drafted?
Man, very stressful, man.
You know, for me, man, like I, it's always so weird because for so long,
you've been on the team, you know, I was in college for four years in high school. And,
you know, it's like that transition to the pros, you know, somewhat a little bit strange because
it's a lot of uncontrollables. And it's a lot that you don't know that's going to happen. Or,
you know, I was told I was going to be a top 100 pick. I could go anywhere between 20 and 100,
you know what I mean?
But that's a lot of picks and that's also two different days.
So, you know, it's a lot of uncertainty,
you know what I mean?
That kind of comes with it, man.
It's extremely stressful in the weirdest way,
but everything goes away, man, when you get that call.
I remember getting that call.
I remember getting that call from the Baltimore Ravens and,
you know, seeing that 410 area code come up, man, and Ozzy Newsome on the other line.
I mean, at that point, man, nothing else mattered, man. I was I was just happy to have the opportunity.
If you're a draft prospect, are you memorizing area code
so you know as soon as it pops up on your phone who it is?
Hell, yeah. I mean, I got a call from Lincoln Riley.
Coast Riley called me in the middle of like day two.
And I can't remember.
Maybe he had just spoke to a team or something.
And he called me and I remember like, because I had stepped away from the TV.
It probably was man late second round at this time.
And I like my phone was facing down
and I was like, holy shit, who is it?
It's Coach Riley.
I'm like, damn, what the hell does he want?
Not today, Coach Riley.
Yeah, exactly.
So, but yeah, no, I kind of try to keep up
with the area coach everywhere.
There's this story of former player Larry Izzo
having to use the bathroom, but he couldn't leave the field.
So he had to poop in a bucket.
And because he pooped in a bucket bucket he was able to stay on the
field and again got a game ball for that. Have you ever witnessed something
happening like that? From Belichick a game ball excellent question Roy have
you ever have you ever witnessed someone shitting on the sidelines? I've never
seen a shit on the sideline I've seen someone shit themselves I've never seen a shit on the sideline. I've seen someone shit themselves. I've seen somebody who take on a double team and shit themselves.
But thank God, I guess we didn't have white pants on.
But I can't.
Who? Yeah.
Not name dropping. No name dropping.
It's cool. No, no, no name dropping.
OK, but he's but you know who you are and you know that you shit yourself.
That's just plainly put
Can I get from you?
I don't know if I push it when you say that there are some guys who are shit talkers because I
Believe that you would find stimulating the challenge of ad lib if I made you put together a top five list right now of
Guys that you had to rank in order shit talkers that you against, even though you're not much of a shit talker.
You say they tend to be the best players.
Can you put that list together for me?
Would you give me five names in reverse order?
Yeah, I'll try.
I'll try to give you the best in order.
Jadavian Clowney.
Hold on, hold on.
Yes, that's number five.
Jadavian Clowney.
Do you have a memorable back and forth with him? He seems like a terribly menacing man.
Yeah, he is very menacing, man. We have a lot of competitive battles, but it's just a lot of shit talking out there. He's a great athlete. He knows he's a really good player and he got a great feel for the game too, man. He's got a great IQ.
So, you know, everything is, I guess you could say he's playing chess with his shit talking, but he's really good at what he does.
Okay.
But he doesn't seem I'd not heard before that, and this is a strong list.
If you're starting with him at number five, I'd not heard before that he was strong here.
He seemed like the quiet type.
He tells you how good he is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's going to talk a little shit.
He's going to talk a little shit.
You know what I mean?
Like he might, you know, take a little, take a little shot here and there or off of funding
games within the game, man. But he's a guy, man. I love competing against.
He's he's going to he's going to talk. He's going to talk a little trash. Number four,
Travis Kelsey. I got to tell you, Kelsey, Kelsey Kelsey is going to talk that shit now. And he's
going he's going to do his job at a high level. He's going to let you know that he's doing his
job. I probably should have him higher on my list, but I'm going to leave him at four now. He's going to do his job at a high level. He's going to let you know that he's doing his job. I probably should have him higher on my list, but I'm going to leave him at four now.
He's he's a baller now.
I've I've seen him do some funny.
I've seen him do some funny stuff.
A good listen. All right. Number three.
Number three, I'm going to go with Melvin Ingram.
Melvin Ingram.
Melvin caught me plenty of times.
I played with him in Kansas City, Kansas City.
My rookie year, we played there on a Saturday night.
And I remember he made a comment to me.
And I kind of like, you know, the figuratively shot myself in the foot.
I I don't want to butcher it, but I think it was like
he said something to me.
He said something to me like, you sorry as hell.
And I was like, you sorry as hell too.
And he's like, you admitted that you sorry.
No, I was like, all right.
Yeah, gotcha.
All right, you too then.
You really got checkmated there.
You admit, you did admit you were sorry.
Yeah, oh yeah.
But he's on my list.
He's a dog.
Number two, number two, Brandon Graham, Philadelphia.
Hey, everybody knows BG, gonna talk that trash man.
He's a great football player.
I mean, he's ton of respect just around the league,
but I had a joint practices against him
my second year up there in Philadelphia.
And then I played him my third year, played them in the Super Bowl.
Lot of shit talking between me and BG, man.
Just a lot of just a lot of back and forth.
But it's all fun and games within the game.
I got a lot of respect for him.
And finally, number one, I got to go with my man, Trey Henderson, man.
Hey, it's just it's a dogfight.
If I imagine if Rocky Marciano talk shit, man, it's just, hey, it's just a dog fight.
If I imagine if Rocky Marciano talks shit,
it'd be how Trey Henderson does it.
I don't know what that means, but there you go.
It sounds good though.
White guy talking shit.
You're an ambassador for the Juvenile Diabetes Research
Foundation.
This is something that means something to you.
I'm sure our audience fell in love with you.
To learn more and help support the worldwide effort
to end type 1 diabetes, you wanna go,
what is the website that you want people to go to?
What is it that you want them to do?
Visit jdrf.org, man.
Type 1 has pretty much been in my family, man, forever.
My dad passed a ketoacidosis when I was 15,
which is a form of a diabetic coma.
My brother was diagnosed with type 1 at eight years old.
I was nine at the time.
So, you know, both of my grandparents, man,
passed with complications of it.
So it's just something that hits home for me, man.
I've spent a lot of time around it.
Man, one of my best friends, Mark Andrews, in Baltimore,
we went to college together and played together
in Baltimore.
And I've seen it firsthand with him being an athlete
and my brothers, man, my brother.
And so, it's a cause of his home for me, man.
And continuing to fight to make things more affordable
for diabetics, whether that be pumps, insulin,
whatever it may be. And,
you know, just continuing to, you know, look for, look and research work here as well.
Do not let them alter you with their conservative ways, sir. Thank you for being on the show with
us. Travis Kelsey said that when you left Kansas City, he said, quote, it hurts, it hurts my soul,
man. It hurts my soul. It's like watching your best friend just turn evil on you
You're somebody that he loves and loved
But now you're on the other team. So you got to go away. Thank you, sir. Yeah. Yes, sir. I appreciate you guys
Thank you
Hey everybody, it's Mike and typically I record these Miller light spots in the studio
But I requested that I specifically record this one from my home office because I got a window and I'm looking outside at those beautiful fishtail palms knowing that in just a few
seconds I'm going to go out there.
I'm going to crack open a can of Miller Lite because while sitting outside by my fishtail
palms is usually a good time, I like to take it up a notch and make it a Miller time.
That's right, you crack that puppy open and you don't have to think about what you're
drinking for a darn second.
A lot has changed over the years, including my backyard.
Lots of landscaping being done right now.
But the one thing that hasn't changed is the undebatable quality of Miller Lite.
You don't have to choose what quality is the best.
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