The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Mike Schur's June Observations
Episode Date: June 18, 2024Mike Schur has been mysteriously missing from this show for a while, but he happened to be on our show schedule for the day after his Boston Celtics won banner No. 18. After he explains the confidence... the Celtics group chat felt all year and how Boston fandom works these days, he delivers his June Observations in order to roast our crew and tell Jimmy Butler, Bam Adebayo, Mike Ryan, Coach Spo, Jeremy Taché, and all of Heat Culture to go to hell. Then, we steal a segment from The Greg Cote Show and launch a new clapping competition on the Dan Le Batard Show. Does everyone need a 5-pack in order to have the loudest possible clap? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dan Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
Here comes Booth down the other way. Throws it over the far side, shoots, he scores! Stephen Wise takes the feed from David Booth and puts it top shelf where Mrs. Baller keeps
the peanut butter. Here's Campbell and he fans on it. Rebound
by Olez. It's a score! Who's your daddy and what does he do?
High slot to Horton, turns around back to Stillman, fire, scores!
Oh we're gonna need a bigger bowl. Wrist shot right in, he shoots, he scores! Say hello to my little
friend. Stillman shot, rebound, he shoots, he scores! Get in my belly! Feeds a point to Ballard, wrist shot right on that, he shoots, he scores!
He kills for pleasure, he hunts for sports!
Stillman right out in front, he shoots, he scores!
Make me a bicycle clown!
Those are some bad hockey names in there.
Cory Stillman had a season, huh?
So much Ballard, so much Ballard.
Raceslav Olesh. I deserve this. Corey Stillman had a season. He's ballard. So much ballard. So much ballard.
Rostislav Olesch.
I deserve this.
I deserve this.
We have a concern going into tonight's game that involves the only important championship
that we won in sports this week.
Chris Cody is very concerned because Jack Nicklaus is going gonna be the one who gets to start banging the drum
The golden bear at the beginning of the game and he he's 84 years old
I don't want to be ageist about this because I saw a recent video of Dick Van Dyke at
98 years old Dick Van Dyke who has lived a life of laughter and fun. Look at this guy. Oh, it's unbelievable at 98,
the way that he moves around and how sharp he is.
Watch out for that ottoman.
After a lifetime of pratfalls.
He has aged better than,
this is an even recent photographic evidence
of Jack Nicholson, who not a lot of people have seen recently.
He's been in a bit of hiding
since being out
on this boat eating hoagies this way.
A really unfair position to put Jack Nicholson in.
This is many years ago.
He put himself in that position.
That's correct, but we're doing it anyway.
Chris, your concern is what?
That an 84 year old Jack Nicholas, the golden bear,
isn't gonna keep up the tempo the way he needs to there's a pace to this thing
I watched Dan Marino because for the final they like to bring in the biggest names they can get and it's last year
Marino came in
I don't know which game it was one of the games and he just was off and it just kind of gets the whole crowd
Reacts weird. It's a big moment right before the game and I'm just worried
I kind of need to see Jack Nicklaus send in a video of him doing the beat before he does it.
Oh you think he has to be vetted?
He has to audition.
I need an audition.
I agree.
There's a pace to it, it can really,
it just gets the whole crowd, there's murmuring start,
like the crowd, when there's not a good drum beater,
it affects the crowd, and I just don't need the crowd
affected on this huge night.
Like I love the golden bear, but it's just,
I do love the golden bear, I don't know,
like is he a Panthers fan, is he gonna be wearing a jersey? I'm not really, I'm's just I do love the Golden Bear. I don't know like is he is he a Panthers fan?
Is he gonna be wearing a jersey? I'm not really I'm confused
But I'm just yes, I I have my concerns
Well, I have a bunch of concerns too primarily because of what this show is doing
But I have a stat for you that'll make you feel better headed into tonight's possible clincher in game five
you feel better headed into tonight's possible clincher in game five. Vladimir Tarasenko is 1-0 in Stanley Cup final clinching games when the Marlins and
St. Louis Cardinals play at Lone Depot Park. Boom. Wow. That is empirical proof.
Guaranteed. That they know that they're jinx proof that this team can say
whatever you want Dan. Yeah we're reaching back way deep to try to find a
stat to combat what this show has done.
All right, I will put this radiant man
out of his suffering now.
Did you like Nick Gordon tagging up
and trying to score to tie the game in the 12th there?
Yeah, make the last out at the plate.
It was a shallow fly, but go for it, right?
That's what I'm thinking.
Be aggressive.
Why not?
Yes, even if you get thrown out by 50 feet.
Which it almost was.
It was not close at all.
Ball barely got out of the infield.
But you know, I like the effort.
I like going for it.
Mookie Betts is hurt.
Yes, he's eight weeks.
How's that team gonna survive it?
They're third best player.
I do like the way that they are now
playing extra innings in baseball,
and not just because of the overs.
I like that they put a runner on second
and they speed everything up
and they forced the Marlins last night
to try and take home plate because of course,
St. Louis scored in the top of the inning.
They started with a man on second base.
Well, you're riding a high, right?
He hits a triple, brings in a run.
He's a third base, why not go for it?
He's fast?
Yes, he is fast.
Not fast enough, though.
Not nearly that fast. There is no human being that fast, fast enough though not nearly that fast there is no human being that fast fast enough to score that's not true I
saw Fernando Tatis tag up on a fly ball to second base and he scored they weren't
expecting him to to take off from third base on an infield fly but he scored.
Stugat said yesterday that Ellie De La Cruz ended up in a situation where he
scored from second on a pickoff attempt. He's fast, huh?
The Seattle Mariners have 43 wins and 46 quality starts.
Play that Paul O'Neill sound again.
This radiant man who joins us now, Stu Gotts, I'm going to tell you some of the backstory
now. uh... this radiant man who joins us now so that's going to tell you some of the backstory now uh... big hollywood mike sure helped in the strike and save all
of creativity
and all of the future for writers he's been very busy and our guest bookers
who can be annoying
have been looking for him for a long time but he is one of these people who
fears jinx is the same way you guys do
and so last night i heard from our guest bookers and they're like, can you reach out to Mike Schur
and make sure that he'll be on with us tomorrow
if they win?
And I'm like, you think I'm gonna have to reach out to him
if they win?
And so what I wake up to this morning
is a note from Mike Schur saying,
I want to get up in the morning
and just log on to your show
and just listen and watch you guys because he wants
to listen to this show the way Mike Ryan was listening to Boston Sports Radio after big
losses last season.
And so now he joins us.
Look at him smiling.
He's got a lot of Hollywood things in the works and he's had time for a June observations.
He's got several top five lists.
He is so ready to work today
when we couldn't get ahold of you for weeks Mike Schur.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I make time all throughout every month to be here with you.
And there were just some scheduling issues that came up
that meant I couldn't be here as often,
but it has nothing to do with the timing
of the Celtics championship.
It's just, it happened to to be this morning I was free
and so I said I'd love to come by
and hang out with the gang, you know?
And how many things have you prepared?
It's really just, I've made some observations
over the last month, so I have June observations.
Within June observations, there is a top five list.
Wow.
And that, but that's it?
Because I was threatened with several top five lists
and I'm not saying that you're not doing enough.
I'm just simply saying, I wanna get it right
and I wanna know what to go to here.
I'm gonna do June observations.
Within June observations, there is one top five list.
I showed a lot of restraint.
All right, do you want to do it now
or do you need more than five minutes for this?
Because we have about four seconds.
We have four seconds for you to do all of this and then we've got to go. No I need I need more time than
that. All right. It's pretty long. All right we will do it next segment then and I will
ask you before we do it how radiant are you because you have had what is clearly
the best team in the sport all season? Well that was the thing you know this
subject comes up a lot on this show of like the whether
the regular season matters and the way that the heat in particular approach the regular season.
The joy of this regular season is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Like,
if you don't watch the regular season NBA, either because the guys who play for your team phone it
in and don't care, or just because you don't tune in until the playoffs you're missing the potential for like a wonderful journey like this team the Celtics all
year were so fun to watch and from day one of this season I got endless amounts of joy from just
watching them play basketball and I don't understand the mentality of not caring about the regular
season as a fan it's so much fun to follow a team especially one this
great for the whole regular season I'm sad that Jimmy Butler has deprived you
and that market from caring about the regular season because it's great it's
six months of joy you are a weirdo though in that generally even if you
have the greatest of teams you are perpetually afraid of everybody.
You showed no fear with this team all year.
That's the thing, that's the thing.
That is the old mentality.
Charlotte Wilder and I have been talking about this a lot
is like the old mentality,
the old like Boston doom and gloom was that you,
you were miserable in if they lost to the, you know,
to the sons in a game in November,
that went away with this team.
This is like the 2018 Red Sox that won 108 games
and then blew through the playoffs
and won the World Series.
Like, I, they drove the fear out of me.
I wasn't really scared at any point in the entire season
until they lost game four of the finals and got blown out.
And then I started having like an old school Boston spiral
of like, oh God, no team has ever been up three oh
and lost a series.
And now what if they, what if Derek Lively was like
we figured them out is what he said after game four.
And I was like, what if he's right?
Meanwhile, he's a 20 year old rookie.
What does he know about anything?
But I was like, what if they're right?
And what if the Celtics lose?
And before you could even have that thought,
this team is so good. They're just up by 20 at halftime
in game five and they cruise to victory.
And it's just so amazing as doom and gloom as Boston fans can
be, as any fans can be, that to not have that feeling
at any point, I never thought really,
all the way to the finals, that they were going to lose.
Yeah, it actually makes a lot of sense
that the first time that you felt that was in the finals
because it was the only series in which the team
had their best player that you were playing on.
So I imagine why those feelings only crept in
for the final because it wasn't like you had
a fear Jimmy Butler or Halliburton or Donovan Mitchell.
Yeah, yes, I love, keep going, keep going, please,
keep going.
No, I'm done.
Keep going, no, no, no, go, go, go, go go go. I'm done. I'm not gonna do this
You're gonna love June observations Mike. Yeah
Mike did they get the finals MVP right? I thought it should have went to Al Horford
I mean obviously should have gone to Horford
He should have been the Eastern Conference finals MVP to should have been the regular season MVP frankly yep
But I actually know there's not a joke. I think Tatum should have gotten it. He did not shoot well.
He was only like 40% for the series, but 31 8 and 11 in a clinching
game. He had he averaged like an assistant a half more a game than
Luca did who everyone can't shut up about how what a great passer is.
They ran the entire offense through him.
Nearly every play in the clinching game was run through him and he did an
incredible job.
He had seven assists in a quarter, eight assists in a quarter in game two or
whatever it was like most in Stockton, most in a finals game in 25 years.
Like I, it was not the gaudy scoring numbers that everybody wants from your finals MVP, but
I'm fine with Jalen winning it. He played incredible defense.
There was a mic'd up moment where he said to Missoula if Luca stays in keep me in. He guarded Luca
incredibly well. He and Jura Holiday both guarded Luke incredibly well straight up. So I'm fine with it. Jalen won the
MVP,
but I actually think that Tatum
was the most important player in the series.
Mike, are the ghosts gone?
The ghosts of the Celtics?
The ghosts that just haunt bosses.
You and Simmons and everyone always scared
of all the sports ghosts.
Or ghost, personal ghosts you seem to have in your house.
25 years or whatever.
It would have been five very long years, Mike.
Yeah, I'll say this.
This is how unscared we were of this season.
The famous Boston text thread
that I've referenced many times on this show,
Simmons renamed the thread banner 18, like in January,
and no one had a problem with it
because we all were watching the team everyday and being like yeah they're
gonna win the championship for the ben jane
yet but we didn't but like that's a thing that you don't do
in it for a fan to any sport would never say like we're winning at all
six months out boat
we just did because we felt like it was going to happen
and we were right
so yeah i'd say the ghosts are gone, Billy.
Mike, there's one obvious blemish
on the otherwise great season.
Have you reconciled that the Celtics
failed to win the in-season tournament?
No, you know what, I'll never get over that.
That's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.
It's a blemish on the resume.
It really is.
It's the one thing that I lie in bed at night and rue.
And went to the hated Lakers.
We're gonna, we're gonna get, we're gonna, Jerry West got to enjoy that and he didn't
have to suffer this nonsense at the end.
We're gonna get to the June observations in a second, but I was trying to parse through
the history of Boston poorly.
I did it with Charlotte and I'm gonna ask you the question a different way
winning a championship in which sport matters not to you mike
to boston the most today now winning a championship today in which sport is the
most important for the city of boston i know you're a baseball dork i don't know
if everyone has your sensibilities in boston
uh... you know it's interesting is, you know, the Patriots like spoiled everyone six times over.
Red Sox not only got over there, Schneid,
but won four times.
It had transferred, the answer to that is
that it had transferred to the Celtics.
This mattered more, I think, to the city
because of how close Boston has gotten
for six straight years.
And the reason that those feelings crept
in is because that anxiety had been transferred to the Celtics. And now, I don't know. I honestly
don't know. They've won, we've won so many titles. It's an embarrassment of riches. My guess would be,
and I don't know, maybe Roy or Mike could answer this. My guess would be that the anxiety is now
going to transfer to the Bruins that because the Bruins
Lost to the Panthers as the one eight a couple years ago
And because they've been really good every year and have fallen way way way short of a cup in the last few years
My guess is that the city's gonna care about the Bruins now, but I don't know
I mean, it's it's wild like the the my son my 16 year old son is
It's wild. Like my 16 year old son is waking up in a world
where his favorite teams have won like 10 championships
in his lifetime.
And it just doesn't make any sense.
It's the antithesis of what we were all raised as
and what we experienced.
So I have no idea what the answer to that question is.
I'm guessing it's the Bruins.
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Rance Mullinex.
Tom Candiotti.
Juan Guzman.
Tom Henke.
Pat Henken.
Dave Steeb. Todd Stottlemyre. Pat Henken Dave Steeb
Todd Stottlemyre
Ed Sprague
Derek Bell
Candy Maldonado
Corey Snyder.
Let's do the June observations.
It is a suffering. It's a horrible thing to hear.
He just said it.
So matter of fact, my 16 year old son, all he knows is winning.
He doesn't even know.
All he knows is he parades.
He's 16 years, 10 parades or something.
It's insane.
I mean, the Bruins is the second best team in that city now, so yeah.
I did ask the Kaseya Center to see if they could raise a banner saying the Bruins, when
they went head to head against the Boston Celtics in the first round, outrated them
locally.
The Bruins last won in 2011, so I think that's the team.
The Red Sox won in the team. Yeah, my son was alive for that too.
He doesn't remember.
The June observations have been a half long years.
He suffered so long before the first Bruins champion.
He had to see Tom Brady win one with the Bucks.
Ha ha ha.
The floor is yours Mike sure
June observations
Can you is there a beeping I can't hear the be there is no internal sound turn on his original sound it is on
Can you turn I?
Can't hear it so I'm gonna this is gonna be a we're gonna we're gonna just flow here
We're gonna feel like you're doing it acapella, and it's just I got it now
Yeah, you only gave them spot for one maybe hold out for a large area. I pulled my guy start over Mike We're gonna just flow here. You're gonna feel like you're doing an acapella and it's just gonna be- Oh, I got it now.
Yeah, I got it.
You only gave them spot for one,
maybe hold out for a larger sample, my guy.
Start over, Mike.
Yeah.
June Observations is brought to you by
all the products Jimmy Butler has been advertising
during the NBA postseason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Miklobaltra, Mountain Dew, Hotels.com, I think, boys to Carl Farnsworth Subaru off that was for Gainesville bad boys.
Whatever.
And it was also Miller Lite.
I saw it for sure.
Yeah.
Somebody really thought he was going to be playing deep into June.
Jimmy Dan, a marquee franchise dripping in banner stuff. You're gonna be playing Deep into June, huh Jimmy? Dan!
A marquee franchise, dripping in banners from years past,
but they haven't been to the promised land
in Mike Ryan's adult lifetime.
But after a dominating performance,
on the biggest stage,
Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it the Edmonton
Oilers are back oh no oh no Leon dry sidling down boys huh
that's all the good and they look real good game game four. Strong on the forecheck, right, Roy?
Mike Ryan is an adult.
The Celtics won a title.
So guess what, Mike?
It happened in your adult lifetime.
Credit where credit is due.
In the last few weeks, this show's basketball coverage has been excellent.
Just as one example, in this postseason, in a story no one was talking about,
some of the players on the teams the Celtics played were injured.
And Meadowlark Media was on it.
That's right.
You guys covered the shit out of that story.
That's right.
For the first time in NBA history,
some of the players were injured
and missed games in the postseason.
You deserve an award for the way you reported that story.
It's the opposite of a Peabody.
Here's another story you were all over.
The Celtics easy path to the finals.
And honestly, I got to admit,
I got to admit you had a point.
I mean, beating an eight seed, a four seed, a seven,
and then another eight to win a title
has to be the easiest path ever.
Oh, sorry.
That wasn't this year's Celtics.
It was last year's Nuggets.
And it's weird that I don't remember you
ranting at all about that.
That's correct.
Al Horford. Yeah.
Basketball Hall of Fame.
Elision course. Yes.
Perfect Al Horford lines, dude.
Did you see his line? So good.
Now what he's at? Plus 20.
Nine points, nine rebounds, two steals, plus 20 in 32 minutes.
I thought he had a quote after the game.
The line, of course. That's all I looked at. I didn't watch the game. I thought he had a quote after the game. The line, of course.
That's all I looked at.
I didn't watch the game.
He was looking for a quote.
What did he say?
He took six shots, made three, won a ring.
That's hell.
Jalen Brown can now dribble with his left hand
straight to the basketball hall of fame.
Now dribble with his left hand. Straight to the basketball hall of fame.
Derek White.
Send the broken tooth to the hall of fame.
Then what's ready for him when he's inducted.
Jason Tatum.
Aw, was he not scoring enough for you guys?
You guys were very mad that he wasn't scoring more points.
He's not being the man. I want him to be the man.
I'm Dan Leventhal and I'm Mike Ryan and I'm Jeremy Tachay.
We think Jason Tatum is good enough at basketball
because he should be scoring more points
because that's the right way to be good at basketball.
That's what Jimmy Butler did.
Jimmy Butler scored more points and he's a man.
That's right.
Speaking of Jimmy Butler, top five guys who have more rings than Jimmy Butler scored more points and he's a man. That's right. Speaking of Jimmy Butler.
Top five guys who have more rings than Jimmy Butler.
Yes.
Oli, Peyton Pritchard.
Sveemakailuk.
Sam Houser.
Luke Cornett
Chris Stapps for Zingas
Yeah, that's right five white guys
Hey Stu, I just put Luke Cornett's rings in a box and I put Jimmy Butler's rings in a box
And you'll never guess which box has more rings
It's Luke Hornet's box.
Top five guys with more rings than Jimmy Butler.
Number five, future Hall of Famer Jason Tatum.
Number four, double postseason MVP Jalen Brown.
Number three, Drew Holliday's corpse.
Number two, he's got that dog at him guys.
It's Derek White.
And the number one guy who has more rings than Jimmy Butler.
Al Horford.
Mike Ryan has not smiled through the last five minutes. Not liking it.
Joe Mazzula wins the title at 35.
Three years ago, he was coaching the Portland, Maine
Baby Lobsters 9U Kids Rec League All-Star Team.
And now he's an NBA champ.
Jimmy Butler, do it in the finals.
Coach Spoh, do it without LeBron.
Dan Levatard.
Getting his revenge for these heat jokes
by telling the story about how someone once took a dump
in Bill Russell's bed.
Collision course.
I mean, that happened in Boston.
A human being took a dump in a champion's bed.
That's forever.
Collision course.
That's forever. Nailed it. Collision course. That's forever.
Nailed it.
Collision course, yeah.
Here come the Mets.
Yeah.
Wow.
Grimace.
Steltix owner, Wick Grousebeck.
Called Lisa Salter's Michelle.
Hey Wick.
This dude gots.
Is strong in you.
Wic.
Amin Elhassen called Drew Holliday a corpse.
Said the Celtics trading Marcus Martin Grant Williams
was risky because they had that dog in them.
You know what the L in Amin Elhassen stands for Dan?
No.
It stands for L, as in take the L
64 and 18 plus eleven and a half points in the regular season
16 and three in the playoffs plus ten point seven in the postseason
Do you know how good the boss of the Celtics were this year guys?
They have a guy whose only job is to hit buzzer beater threes at the end of quarters and he does it perfectly that was annoying annoying I turned it off
dare you keep an eye on the links one foreigner Oh Kayla Kayla McBride and Demgirls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nafisa Collier, low key MVP campaign.
Yukon legend.
Sorry, Charlotte Wilder.
We did it.
Finally, something goes right for Boston fans.
Juju Gotti.
We did it.
Light the beam, Celtics in three.
I just want to say that after last night,
the Miami Heat and all their fans and Heat Culture and Jeremy Tachay and Coach Spoh and Bam
Adebayo and the corpse of Kevin Love can all go to hell. And when they get there, say hello to Parakeet Cortez for me.
And then tell Parakeet to say hello to Art Brails.
Dan, those are the June observations. An action packed fight card is taking over Las Vegas for UFC 303 Alex Beheda vs Yuri
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Don Lebatard!
Cody decides to give his opinions on things right when we're coming back.
He started yammering about,
don't you hate the phrase, controlling your own destiny? Destiny can't be controlled.
Right.
An oxymoron.
Stugats!
I fully thought you were going to go in with, take the oxy out of it, that's what you are.
I didn't say it. I'm saying that's
I love you. You didn't say I love you back
You're mad at me
Put it on the polka air mode does two gods throw it. I love you's only to get I love you back
Greg, I love you. I love you. Okay, feel better This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats
I'm a little bit bummed here Stugats by two scheduling changes that we have had with
Animal related guests right now Ron McGill
Has had to postpone until next week and we were gonna have on and I don't know which of the guests I was more upset to lose because Karen Wickerson was going to be
on with us and she is basically the head of the rat patrol the rat czar in
Edmonton she is what keeps rats out of Edmonton we learned yesterday that there
are only 26 28 or 31 rats in Edmonton. And it's because this woman
knows how to keep rats out of Edmonton, but unfortunately she had to postpone as well.
Hopefully we can have her on tomorrow. In the interim though, we have Greg Cody here,
and we have not, because we've been talking too much Boston stuff and too much local championship hockey stuff.
We have not done enough with Greg Cody or his podcast, The Greg Cody Show,
featuring Greg Cody.
With. Fine.
Thank you.
Which this week features his family Olympics.
And Billy, I thought you'd appreciate this in an audio medium.
I don't know if the family Olympics began with this or whether it was just a featured item in the Greg Cody show
Featuring Greg Cody, but it had a staring contest in it
Genius in an audio medium the family Olympics had a staring contest
Well, how long did the staring contest last because I I imagine that if it was, you know, a willful Olympian situation,
that that could last for a long time.
You'd be surprised.
I bet we did. I think we did three out of five.
You know, we want a big sample here. We're not just doing one time.
Best three out of five?
Yeah. Well, I believe it was best two out of three,
and then the loser was a sore loser.
So the winner was like, fine, we can do three out of five.
And then the loser may have protested the result
because whoever lost hasn't been feeling well lately and his eyes were sore you
know like it's ridiculous but that kind of thing and so forth okay good good
ending to your thoughts there what are some other Olympic events that might
come later in the summer I mean we you know we have bobbing for Snapple
Bobbing for Snapple. It's not we're not doing that one. Yeah, bad joke when you made it on the
Full bottles of so let me understand what just happened there in the rhythms in the chemistry
Thank you for explaining it. I wasn't sure you and your son have he tossed you the same thing that you had time to work out
On your podcast and your answer the second time you the same thing that you had time to work out on your podcast and your bet
Answer the second time was even worse than the shitty answer the first time his idea was the staring contest not mine
I'm saying we listed a bunch of random stupid events like a staring contest and I was like here
Let's tee that up so the audience can see what's down the road and you just made the Snapple joke
Okay, we're gonna nail it in the garage
We're gonna see who can pound a nail the quickest
in a four by four.
And things like this.
I mean, we're trying to get away from the classic cliche,
free throw shooting contest and all the sports stuff.
You've walked in on your son nailing in the garage before,
yeah?
That's why I was confused.
Baby!
It's a rumor, I think that was just outside the garage,
on the side of the house.
Another one that, and maybe we could do this one here another one that we're gonna do
Is my dad wants to do my dad wants to do this one arm wrestling? Yeah, he thinks he could be worried about Greg there
Well, I also want to do holding breath underwater. That's another one. I don't want to do right you're gonna lose
No, no, I mean you have asthma. Yeah, but before
that, as a kid, when I'm 12, 13 years old, oh my gosh, I could hold my breath for well over a minute.
But you're not anymore. I know, but still, you know, and I will be using my inhaler. That's cheating.
Before I do that. It's not a... It expands the lungs. It's called a snorkel. It could be a
performance enhancing drug. I don't know what the commissioner would decide.
Put it on the poll.
In deep sea breathing, is the asthma inhaler
a performance enhancer?
Aren't you the commissioner?
I mean.
Normally we reconcile.
We don't have a big controversy.
Another future event is going to be hand clapping,
because as a child.
We did this one on this week's episode., as a child I was renowned for how loudly I could clap my hands.
And so that's gonna be a category.
Why don't we do it right now?
I'd like to do a couple of these right now,
including the arm wrestling.
They already did it though, the clapping.
I mean, that's what Chris is saying.
It was hard to pick up on Zoom.
Yeah, we snuck it.
You believe you are better. Hold on a second
Let's try this you believe that you are appreciably louder as a clapper than everyone else here. Sure. Okay
Let's let's know for hand clap. All right, let's test this not true. Let's let's let's well, we're tested
We'll test it instead of arguing through a raspy voice that is just barely hanging on. Let's try everyone.
Mike, you begin with what you're competing.
You're trying to compete the loudest single clap?
Or is it one clap?
Or how many do you get?
How does this out of the Olympics work?
There's a lot of pressure going first.
I like the five pack.
Would you like me to go first?
You prefer a five clap.
Can you go first just so I can establish what I have to be?
So it's five claps, but it's all,
we're trying to get loud. That's what we're trying to do?
Volume.
Well, hold on a second, is there like an online
like decibel counter or something
where we can actually get information or we just?
I feel like we're stealing content
from The Greg Cody Show, but that's okay.
How buoyant is Snapple?
It's okay.
When you got something this good,
you can't keep it to yourself.
You've gotta share it.
You've gotta share it. You've gotta share it.
You can chip your tooth.
I'm excited about the Snapple one.
I know, it's a good one.
Pre-consider.
It's a terrible idea.
He's afraid.
Oh, just your teeth gnawing on the cap.
Oh, that's a big cap.
So you can't really open the maw.
Yeah.
You gotta unhinge that jaw.
Yeah.
Bobbing for Snapples is disgusting
and more difficult than bobbing for apples.
Yes, thank you.
Because those bottles are unpleasant.
You're on to something there.
Thank you.
But do you have any tips for me on how it is as the king of hips?
I'm not going to give away my tips.
I'm against you.
The king of loud clapping.
Well, I thought, I'll go last.
I'll go last.
You know how Larry Bird
used to be so confident in what he did that he'd just tell you where he was
shooting from beforehand I thought he was good at this I didn't think he'd
give me some tips and I'd immediately be better than so good that he would give
the secrets away matter if he gives them away right because he's so good because
he's saying that he's the best at this and that he's gonna be as a child as a
ute wait you you only get one clap though.
He said a five pack.
A five pack?
But then you get a cadence and a rhythm.
You gotta be perfect if it's just one.
Yeah, we recommend a five pack.
We're gonna do one so that it's not quite the same.
Yeah, it's gotta be different.
One totally changes the game.
I'll do five.
No, you'll do what we're all doing.
We're competing.
How about three?
Let's compromise on three. We're. We're competing. How about three? Let's compromise with three.
We're only counting your first.
How about two?
We're going one, and we're going with Greg's going last.
Nobody's loudest on their first clap, though.
Look it up.
I know.
You got to build up.
That's why I put it on the poll, please, Juju.
At Levitard Show, is anyone loudest on their first clap?
Do you have the guts or not?
What are the gut?
What do I need the guts for?
No, I'm asking Chris, because like, oh, I got to build a head of steam. No, this is a real challenge.
I'm better with a five pack. Cody's are. We struggle with the one. I grew up with a five pack.
Well, we're going to make it. This is the show that questions the pressure on athletes all the time
and do it the one time you get the chance. You don't get five chances at it. Yeah, you do.
At most you get four please
win tonight Conor's got like nine
I'm gonna go first ready solid solid but I also don't know what a bad one is
Roy let's see what you have here oh Dan's winning I! Dan's winning. I think Dan's winning. Yeah, and I'm following on the sound meter here.
Here we go.
That was pretty good.
Thank you.
Yeah, your fingers might give you an advantage here.
Put it on the poll, Juju.
Do fat sausage fingers help you win clapping contests?
I don't know if this is an official way to do it,
but it's the best meter that I have.
I'm looking at the sound waves, and that one registered the Chris Cody go ahead and like I said I'm a five pack
guy but all right you've already made the built-in excuse that's pretty solid
it's right up maybe we have a clap-off between you and Stu Cody all right let's
see Mike what you've got I'm so bad at it oh what shame I almost missed my hands you did
almost miss it was weird you hit your wrist right, should I take off my ring?
Solid. Oh wow. Oh wow. That was an explosion.
I could see the wind.
It cried. The wind cried.
I think Billy's winning.
All this buildup for a guy that's known for clapping.
As a Ute. He's passed his prime. I think Billy's winning all this buildup for a guy that's known for clapping
How do you how do you applaud a good clap cuz it would be redundant he's an old veteran here
This is the big the big finish
Let's see if he can I feel Billy's might have been the best Billy's was really good We'll see the throws of bronchitis. We've got all Billy also had the best form
Went back like an awesome the excuses. Billy also had the best form. He went back like an ostrich.
I stretched out the fingers, you guys.
Really confident.
Bruncaitis as an excuse for a clap.
I think the ring really did it.
All right, are we ready?
That was it.
We've been ready.
That was your clap right there.
Silence, please.
Me maximum clapping.
Oh, no.
That didn't count.
No. That's a five clap. Oh, that's a five clap. You're disqualified. Oh
Climb you disqualified known for clapping
Okay, I when he was a kid
That was like his golf shot that was really bad
So well, I think Billy one I think I want to take my ring off Oh, I want to take my ring on right everybody go again. It's your ring a sausage casing. It's just twist. Yes
I thought I was pretty strong remember. I'm a Cody. Oh, that was good. I have a rhythm
It was a five pack though. Oh, thank you. Nice. All right one more for Billy. Yeah one more
It was pretty I'll blame you take the ring off again
You're pretty good at it I'm on the metal stand Cody you want another shot cuz I think I feel like you finished like
Next to last yeah, I
underperformed
No, see I need a five pack.
There's a hesitation.
Yeah, hesitation.
All right, we'll give you the five pack.
We'll give you the five pack.
I don't think you're gonna beat anybody with your five pack.
All right, that was closer.
All right, let's do that clap thing that you slowly clap
and then when we get to it, then Greg does his claps.
We do that slowly. You do a clap.
Lighter.
I don't know what we're doing.
It's a slow clap.
At the end, when we're done, you're doing yours.
Of course it's a big finish.
There you go!
And...
Lay out!
Ow.
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