The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Nobody Wants To Eat a Wet Banana
Episode Date: January 13, 2025The Meadowlark Media crew was finally able to close the loop on something: there is a new Pat Riley statue atop the Elser looking down at the Miami Heat's arena across the street. Billy explains why h...e was frustrated with NFL Network yesterday and Dan and Stu have dueling Stats of the Day. Then, Greg Cote takes us through some classic Greg-isms before educating the group on Ruth and Nellie Doogie, eating a peck of dirt before you die, and why it's okay to rinse off a banana that's fallen. Plus, Jessica saw celebrities in New York, Greg Cote saw valet guys crash into each other, there's nothing better than a FAST channel, and "it's Columbo time." Also, is Justin Herbert an all-time great QB like Jim Harbaugh says? And is Nick Sirianni the greatest Eagles coach of all-time like Stugotz says? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the StuGuts Podcast. This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show with Stu Gotz is presented by Venmo.
I came very close last night to having an incredible bad beat story because I'm chasing
at the end of the day and I'm having the general sadness of, good god, you've got to be kidding
me, I'm watching the Utah Brooklyn basketball game.
Ah!
Ah!
But the game is tied late.
I don't know, did you guys see this?
Utah's obviously terrible.
Brooklyn's terrible, though inexplicably.
Brooklyn, on a West Coast road trip earlier this year,
like one at Sacramento, Golden State, and Phoenix.
That's when you thought they were good, right?
I remember that.
That was last year that I thought they were good
when they weren't good.
You learn your lesson.
Yes, they are not good.
They are decidedly not good.
But at the end of that game yesterday,
you've got a tie game.
And it's only tied because Utah doesn't have
any good players and their lead is leaking
because they can't get any good shots
the last two minutes of the game because they don't have anybody who can get good shots
when the game tightens up at the end of the game.
And they've got the ball tie game 26 seconds left, okay?
26 so you're not going to lose this game in regulation.
You've got the ball you're inbounding with twenty six seconds left shot clocks twenty four
but still i'm just laying it out there i got all all of them and i think the
detail here's what happens though sexton and collier are arguing as they come up
the court about who should bring the ball up the court may do it so slowly
that they get a second violation
while the ball back to Brooklyn.
That's the jazz.
Because they're walking down the court
and they're like, they're not agreeing
on who should bring it up.
We have an update on the Lamar Smith follow-up game
to that 200 yarder, the last Dolphins playoff win.
We gave you the stats from his performance
against the Oakland Raiders at the time,
but there is a great detail.
So he had eight carries for five yards in that game.
I've now learned, thanks to Taylor out there
crunching the numbers, he had an 11 yard run in that game,
which means the other seven carries
were for negative six years.
Just a little detail, a little update there.
Thank you, I do appreciate it.
That registers as one of the great
Dolphin highlights of this century. a little update there. Thank you, I do appreciate it. That registers is one of the great dolphin highlights
of this century.
We've got a number of things to get to.
Stu Gotts' weekend observations are gonna be at some point
in the next two hours.
We've gotta unveil finally our statue.
We said we were going to make a statue here at the Elser,
put it on the roof, something that pointed down
at the arena of Pat Riley
to reverse course on my criticism from early in the week
where I was saying that Pat Riley had failed
and all Metal Arc resources have been poured into.
Pointing, look, if you look right now.
What are we doing?
If you look right now.
I told them, I gave them.
Finally closing a loop this company.
This was the big unveiling.
This is good.
Not even the roof.
We did it.
It looks like a carrot.
You can see the arena right behind him.
It's a great shot.
Were we not allowed on the roof?
Is that what happened?
We just stopped halfway to the roof
and just put one of those car sale inflatable men.
Wacky inflatable
armed man thank you the technical term plus the Gus when he had that high up
it's just totally what a tape job because it's really windy up yeah
really so that's not a bronze statue then no is that what I'm okay does look
more like him than the Dwayne Wade statue. It really does, that is true. Nailed the face. Nailed the face. Yeah, took all on him, yeah.
Let's play the start of the day music here, please.
Start of the day, start of the day,
it is the start of the day.
Start of the day, start of the day,
it is the start of the day.
Start of the day, start of the day,
it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day, start of the day,
start of the day, it is the start of the day.
This is from Barstool Sports.
I knew it, but I didn't remember it,
and I had to be reminded of it yesterday.
Mike Vrabel has 10, he was a linebacker,
10 career receptions.
All of them for touchdowns. Wow. Wow. It's a good stat.
It's a great stat.
That's crazy.
That's insane.
10 for 10, huh?
My guess is that you can find some decent players
on offense that don't have 10 touchdowns.
I just saw McBride have like 100 catches for Arizona
and it took him till the last two weeks of the season
to get his first touchdown.
Do you have a dueling stat of the season to get his first
First touchdown. Do you have a dueling stat of the day that you think can beat that stat of the day Stu guys? I do do you want the imaging again or do we just do it right here?
No, right here is fine
Marcus Freeman has more wins against top five teams in the last ten days than James Franklin has in 14 years
Which is conference than James Franklin has in 14 years. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha good thanks for nothing stats no less 10 days they're both exceptionally good Smith agreed Craig you gotta pick a side you can't it's like can't be a tie what's the point of doing that what's the point of being an arbiter if you're
just gonna sit there and have no judgment okay then the winning stat is
Marcus Freeman versus pens you're just lashing out at me for making you do it did that the consequences
Sore loser take the results move on really Billy. Why are you mad at the NFL Network?
Mad is harsh, but they played a dirty trick on everybody yesterday
I don't know if you guys saw put it on the pole juju do you get mad at dirty tricks?
I mean a little bit of a dirty trick, but
so when I go to watch TV,
you see the games that are on, right?
And they continued yesterday just to play
opposite new games, old games of the teams
that were coming up later in the day.
So I would go and I would be confused
because I was like, wait a minute,
the commanders aren't supposed to be playing
the Bucks right now, but I don't want to watch that game.
What, what am I missing?
Did I look at the schedule wrong?
Like what happened here?
And I kept going back to the NFL network at the wrong times because they were
playing games between when the teams previously played at the times that the
current games are going on.
And I wonder how many people didn't see like in a little corner that it said,
like 2023 or 2024
and watch the wrong games thinking they were watching
the right playoff game because they were like at a bar
and just someone auto like, oh, put on the game.
They put on the wrong game because NFL networks
spend the entire day playing games opposite
the present games.
They were just old and wrong games between the same teams.
Now that week one matchup, I believe, was in the afternoon,
which, if you're still confused at that point,
you got bigger problems.
I wish I was watching the 2009 Steelers Ravens playoff game.
Much more entertaining.
There's Troy Palabalo when you need him.
The games were bad, but the palate cleanser
is the way the last one ends.
It's not even that that game was that great,
but the ending of it.
Tonight, yeah, I think the way that they scheduled these out,
the two prime time games were always gonna be
the most competitive.
Last night lived up, I thought that was a real good game.
Looking at the box score, I'm a little confused
as to how more points weren't scored.
Because it's not like, I know that there were timely stops,
especially on fourth downs, but it was a little confusing.
And tonight is a really interesting game
for a lot of different reasons.
That one happens to me all the time though.
Look at Russell Wilson's box score and tell me how it is.
They only scored 14 points and why he's being run
out of the league.
It's because every guy in the league can go 20 for 29
for 250 yards and score 14 points.
Well, they also only had the ball for 20 minutes
the entire game where the Ravens had it for 39.
Like they just didn't have the ball.
That'll do it.
Yeah.
Also, I think fans,
we need to reset our expectations of football games.
If they all were one or two point games
where you're watching someone kick a game winning field goal
or lead a late drive,
then those games wouldn't be as special
and as meaningful to us.
We need to embrace close games when they happen,
and when blowouts happen,
just understand that that's part of the sport
Not every game is gonna be a one possession game
You say this but because of what the sport gives us in the witching hour every week
Even if it's Jacksonville in Carolina, I've come to expect that all the games are going to be closed
I'm surprised by the blowouts because every time I'm watching football on Sunday
They give me eight games and I think they sort of distorted they fool
me exactly four or five of the i have to ask for a ride of the marmite's only
same across the board you remember it like while that was a crazy game i went
into six over times and you just forget the fact that there were forty five other
games at the same time that ended with at twenty one point difference i think
though one of the things that's absolutely happening to the consumer as this thing continues
to get larger and larger is it wasn't enough football for me this weekend.
Watching one game at a time is not enough for me.
If that game's a blowout like the four o'clock window, this is how spoiled we've gotten.
When that four o'clock window has three games
and two of them aren't close i'm bored because i need the stimulation i need
i need give me nine games give me stakes and now the spot but these are
playoff i'm not i'm i'm i understand what you're telling me that this isn't
happening to the rest of you one game on at a time doesn't feel like enough
tell me it's not happen to Tell me I'm wrong about this.
I disagree, because Championship Weekend
is my favorite weekend in the NFL.
When it's AFC Championship, NFC Championship,
it's the best two and the best two
playing against each other, watching one at a time.
That is the best Sunday of the NFL year.
It's better than Super Bowl Sunday.
It's better than wild card weekend.
It's just simply the best.
So this weekend was, I mean, it was good.
This coming weekend is pretty good. This coming weekend is the best. So this weekend was, I mean, it was good. Like this coming, this coming weekend is pretty good.
I was going to say this past weekend,
it was like Thursday night, we got the orange bowl.
Friday night, we got the cotton bowl.
Saturday all day, Sunday all day.
And now we get one more game tonight.
Like I know some of the games like, yeah,
you're not locked into every possession.
You, you knew like the Ravens game was over by halftime,
but I don't know.
Like it's not every single football game is gonna end in a one possession score. All the games
were bad except the last one. They were. Yeah but I like where Jess is coming from.
This sport out of like the non-combat sports lends itself to if you have an
advantage tactically or just talent wise given the physical nature of the sport
the goal on that on that final spread is going to be larger than basketball or hockey or even baseball. So I think we should actually spin this and
cherish the close games that we do get when you get to this level. We don't
think this sport enough. I agree with Chris Cody and Dan you're gonna complain
ourselves into a 32 team NCAA tournament style NFL playoff and then it's gonna be
like a 40-week season and the
Quality is gonna get worse and we're all gonna be like this
Well now we have too much football just like we did with the first round the college football playoffs
I the system I actually preferred the old NFL playoff system before they changed it most recently
But I may be in the minority there, but like I think it's fine. We don't need we don't need more
We can one more game. We get a Monday nighter I enjoy watching one game at a time. Okay. I'm anti red zone isolated. Yeah, I mean my wife's watching red zone
It's like a flurry of in its overload of information
Going from one game to the next and then back to here and back to their red zones playing
Showing plays are even in the red zone. It's a it's a misnamed network
You got to get a feel for the game the subtle little nuances that happen during the game,
the momentum changes, all of that stuff.
You don't get that on the Red Zone.
I wanna slip into the rhythm of a game.
I wanna see every play, even the bad plays.
I wanna see a guy take a knee.
I wanna see a timeout.
I wanna see a motion penalty.
I want all the minutiae of a game,
not just the highlights.
Well then, what didn't you like when Red Zone
would show you non red zone plays
You know what it was it was a breath of fresh air. I will admit that I think red zone should show you the worst plays as
Well confusing red zone should you like all the commercial breaks outside the red zone right? Yeah, I have a good idea for you Greg
We should start our own network called all the other plays you know all the minutiae
I want to join the 40s. I want a network that shows me the shank one We're gonna start our own network called All The Other Plays. You know what? All the minutiae.
I want a network that shows me the shank wanties.
Uh huh. The shank punt.
Shunts. Yes. Careful.
All punts. That would be a good...
The all punt network. Why not?
I like the APM.
Wonstead would be addicted to it.
He would be.
Yeah, sure thing.
Hey, you sold that car yet?
Yeah, sold it to Carvana.
Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.
The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest, over 36 months?
Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot.
It was so convenient.
Just like that?
Yeah.
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Don LeBataard.
Quiet man.
Yes.
You know, I'm a married man.
I don't cheat on my wife despite that gratuitous line in back in my day.
That you wrote.
Stugats.
I wish you were here, my wife.
I really miss her.
No, I don't.
That's the thing about being married.
You know, you're not allowed to say, I don don't miss my wife I've been gone two days I haven't been
gone long enough to miss my wife I'm sorry I call her I'm on the phone with her for 30 seconds you know what am I
hello alright alright we'll see ya alright and then you know I'm gonna see
her in two days I was jumping Charlie good. This is the Don LeVatar show with
the Stugats. Can I ask Chris Cody a question here? I thought of you yesterday Greg because, or Chris, I'm
sorry, I thought of you because something happened to me. I am peeling a banana in the
kitchen and I'm about to throw away the peel
and as I do so, I drop the rest of the banana on the floor.
What do you do?
This is your home kitchen?
Yes.
Okay.
This is a three stew just get.
I'm picking it up and I'm giving it the old once over
and I'm looking at it and if it passes the eye test,
I'm eating it.
Are you a shoe household?
That's just very important. I don't wear shoes in the'm eating it. Are you a shoe household? That's just very important.
I don't wear shoes in the house, no.
Do you wash your feet?
Yes.
Okay.
Dear cats.
Well this is the thing, I threw away the banana
because I have pets.
Oh yeah.
But my floors are clean twice a week,
so like this is not.
Twice a week.
This is not, it's not a dirty floor, but I felt guilt about throwing away the banana because it's
a perfectly good banana and it's fallen on the floor.
But my instinct was to try and catch it and my first thought was I'm just going to eat
this and then I had to have the second thought of this is by a garbage can and it's near
where the pets eat.
But do the cats wear shoes?
You didn't answer the question.
The cats do not wear shoes.
So you go Monday, Thursday,
or Monday, Friday cleaning day?
What's the deal?
Right, you're breaking out the mop two times a week.
Friday and Monday.
That's so cute when I have shoes on.
It's like, well, I don't wear walk.
I know, like a sweater on a cat.
Come on, get out of here.
Unless I'm in a really disgusting place,
I shouldn't surprise people.
My taller, I don't get afraid of a little like you know I'm gonna say dirt
But I I will eat things if it if it passes the eye test take a dirt before you die
I follow the the five-second
No, you were gonna get immediate buy-in Nana doogie
I think come on God rest her soul yeah, but the banana is sticky
Okay, the banana is gonna pick up lint and dirt in a way that hard shell apples and pears will
not.
Exactly.
So what you do here is you pick up the banana, you give it a rinse under the faucet, then
you roll it very carefully, gingerly, in paper towels.
You can't rinse a banana.
Yeah you can, but then you gotta dry it.
You gotta dry it. It's his banana. It feels like it's got a sponge material. You don't rinse a banana. Yeah, you can. But then you gotta dry it. You gotta dry it.
It's his banana.
It feels like it's got a sponge material.
You don't wanna eat a wet banana.
No.
Okay, nobody wants to eat a wet banana.
What if it's like one little peck of dirt on it?
Do you get a little?
You can, you can.
Yeah, I've done that.
Peck of dirt before you die is a real thing.
You know, and a peck's a big vessel as well.
So, people worry too much about germs and everything.
I'm not the guy wiping off my thing at the cart.
You clean your fruit?
Not always, no.
So you're blowing on a wet banana, Greg?
I wouldn't blow on a wet banana.
I would wrap it in a paper towel to dry it.
Put it on the poll, please, Juju at LeBittard Show.
Would you eat a wet banana?
And also put on the pole at LeBittard Show,
you've dropped a banana outside of the peel on the floor.
Do you eat it or do you throw it away?
It's a wordy pole.
It really is.
You have to put on the cats don't wear shoes also.
Also do you gotta eat a pickck of dirt before you die?
Well this is the thing that I wanted to get to because the fact that Greg Cody and Billy
just did the musical dance of Billy goes, I just imagine someone listening for the first
time and Billy says, peck of dirt before you die and Greg Cody's like, exactly!
I mean. What about a peck of dirt before you die. And Greg Cody's like, exactly! I mean. It's.
What about a peck of norovirus?
No one's ever responded that way to a peck of dirt.
Well, because he was gonna say it,
and Billy said it first,
because they have such rhythm between them.
Usually on Tuesdays, but today we're getting lucky
on a Monday.
It's a beautiful thing.
Billy is quicker thinking of, Greg was going to say it, he had it loaded
up, I saw him, he had it loaded up.
Oh yeah, cocked and loaded.
Cockin' it.
Thank you.
Now, will you explain, you want to explain to the audience again for those who do not
know what a pack of dirt and Nellie Doogie, what the whole thing is, so that those who
might not have understood the back and forth that you guys had for just yourselves, right?
That was my grandmother on my mother's side Nellie Doogie
God rest her soul. She's been gone a long time. She died in like the late 60s
I think I barely remember her big heavy woman and one of her sayings was you're gonna eat a
Peck of dirt before you die
I thought a peck was more honestly you die. Was she a chain smoker, Greg?
I thought a peck was more, honestly. It seems like it's only two gallons.
Well, still. That's a lot of dirt.
That's a lot of dirt.
Yeah, but no, she died, she went to her grave referring to it as sugar diabetes. Everybody now just calls it diabetes.
But she was a woman who never went to a doctor. It was a sad story, because she fairly young She was in her early mid 60s like 63 ish, but peck of dirt before you die didn't serve her particularly well
But as a general life rule, I think it's something
Second so I just want to be clear
The person who advised you have to eat a peck of dirt before you died died early because she ate a peck of dirt
Well, no, she no sugar a lot lot of sugar. I never went to the doctor. Yeah and here's the other thing.
She would have more served eating dirt honestly. I don't, it sounds like I'm
bragging when I say this but in effect her coining the phrase eat a pack of
dirt before you die was the forerunner of what we all know now as the three
second rule. So in effect just like my mother invented the handheld fan, my grandmother invented
the three second rule.
What's your mother's name by the way?
It's escaping. Ruth.
Ruth.
Ruth Doogie.
Put it on the poll please. No middle name either.
Juju, are we still making Ruth?
What don't you like? No middle names?
I like commitment, let's get a middle name.
My wife doesn't have a middle name, why can't we decide?
Well, do you guys know that Zane Gonzalez,
Zane can't be his name, right?
Like, it's not his name, there aren't-
It's in Zane.
There are not Zanes and Gonzalez's, that can't be his.
The old West was full of Zanes.
Wait, if Zane is his name, Dan, Billy Zane,
for your game, first name, last name.
His name's Holden. Yep. I'd go with Zane. his name Dan Billy Zane for your game. I've a child name last name his name is Holden
Yep, I'd go with Zane Holden Gonzalez. He's not the holder no
Louis's name short Lewis is telling me in my ear that his middle name is for to Nado
Confirmed he was yesterday. I was afraid to say it
Is that what happened you looked it up?
Didn't know how to say it That what happened you looked it up Didn't know how to say I was intimidated. Yes, I said it like count Orla
Scary the way said it
Yeah, you will obey
Zane's a lot easier. It is I don't know how holden for to not
became Zane.
How did that happen? I know how.
He goes by the name Zane as a result of his father, Joseph,
discovering the name in the movie Maverick,
where James Garner's character was named Zane.
It's a great flick.
Great movie.
It's an old west name.
The chemistry from Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson,
it bubbles off the screen.
James Garner is a classic.
Well, wasn't he, was he in the original Maverick,
the source material, and that was kind of like
a callback among generations?
I think it was, yes.
Wow, what a flick.
I got a call on late Saturday night
that I was not expecting after receiving a text
that I was not expecting, that I believe to be the only text of this kind
that has ever been sent, ever,
in the history of people texting.
My mother, late Saturday night, about 11 p.m., writes me,
are you watching Columbo?
Yeah.
Ah, Columbo.
There's evidently a marathon from eight to midnight
that her and my father watch every Saturday of Columbo.
So good.
Do you know what episode it was?
I do not.
Do you watch these marathons?
I was told it was chili con carne,
there were some updates, but it was four hours.
It wasn't an episode, it was many episodes.
There cannot have been another person in 2025
writing or receiving the text,
are you watching 70s detective show, Columbo?
I literally texted my boyfriend like two days ago,
it's Columbo time.
Wow.
Wow.
Is that what you guys call it?
Yeah.
What is Columbo time?
Do you do this Saturday night marathon as well?
Unfortunately I was watching the Steelers game,
but no, it's on streaming now.
I can just turn on Columbo whenever I want,
pop on any old port in a storm.
What a great episode.
Put on my little jammies.
Oh, my boyfriend's mom got me these really comfy,
cozy socks for Christmas. Oh, put put those on get under the covers pop up on
my iPad do some online shopping while I watch Columbo that's Columbo. Fast
channels are the best I love fast channels and I know they're growing in
popularity we're available on quite a few of them but now you have fast
channels that are just it's Walker Texas Ranger 24-7 get your fill and you can
just put it on in the background and be entranced by these things what's a fast
channel fast channels essentially so they live on streaming platforms we're
available on the NBC fast channel we're available obviously on DKN which is a
fast channel you go to a smart TV or or a streaming platform piece of hardware
and you they many of these own like Roku has their own fast channels.
They present their own lists of,
it's basically we're going back to cable television
within the streamers.
But it's devoted to usually,
cause they can have like hundreds and hundreds
of fast channels that they provide.
It's usually devoted to a certain genre.
So you have like a thriller channel
or you have a straight up Baywatch channel. It's just Baywatch all day, every day.
You have Walker, Texas Ranger all day, every day.
You get Jag all day, every day.
Colombo.
The Greg Cody Show needs a fast channel.
I was thinking, Greg, you and I are so aligned today.
I was thinking just that.
Don't you guys have video from all your episodes?
You should sell your library to a streaming service
and just have 24 hours of Greg.
We should. Christopher, get on that make a call do
something about it. Dan you reminded me I speaking of Colombo Steven Spielberg
directed the first ever episode of Colombo I happen to be walking down the
street last week and two weeks ago in New York I saw Steven Spielberg walking
his dog how funny is that and then I was in Whole Foods later and I saw Michael Imperiali. Oh, what a Saturday in New York
Wow, the stars were out
Great. Did you go up to them and say hello? What a cute dog course not. I'm playing it so cool
I see Steven Spielberg. I'm walking past him and then I'm going
The dog does give you an in though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the ultimate conversation starter
Right, you know if you're trying to pick up a woman or a man
and they're walking a dog.
Steven Spielberg.
With a beautiful dog and then you're in.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Is Jess trying to pick up Steven Spielberg?
People love your dog to be complimented.
You know what I'm saying?
You think Steven Spielberg.
You compliment my dog?
They're my best friends.
Went home and told whoever,
I saw Jess today.
I wanna walk in the dog.
That's right.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
Greg Cody today hasn't been the same, Stugats.
I don't know if you saw him.
He came in a bit disheveled.
He came in a bit discombobulated, disoriented because-
Better than a new shirt.
In our parking garage here, two valet guys crashed into each other.
Oh my God, yeah. You're acting as each other. Oh my god. Yeah.
You're acting as if you're surprised by it.
You're the one who told me.
I'm oh my god-ing at the memory because it was not just a little fender bender.
It was bam!
It was one of these metal on metal.
And I would guess that both of them were going like 20 miles an hour, which is pretty quick.
That can't be right.
You're unsure.
No, no, Dan, in this parking lot, is it bad that I'm not surprised by this news? In fact, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.
Was it on the ramp?
It was on a corner, yeah.
It was taking a corner.
You know how I know Carson Beck will be fine in Miami?
Because he has a Lamborghini, he probably doesn't know how to drive it either.
He'll fit right in.
A Lamborghini.
But you were surprised to hear that, Dan?
Like two valets getting in an accident in this garage.
The corners are tight.
They usually honk when they're coming around the corners, and I appreciate that because they're letting me know that they're coming,
but I'm not surprised by it. There are mirrors there to help you and they are the valets.
It is their primary responsibility to not crash those cars.
It's their job. Valets love to take a good joy ride, man.
A valet's primary job is to see what this thing can do.
How do you play this?
Do you wait till the person comes back
for their car to tell them,
or do you try to reach out to them, or you just put it on?
I think you just are like, I don't know how that happened.
It's so weird.
Hope they don't notice.
No, you come out and you're like, that was there.
Yeah.
That was there.
I mean, there's cameras everywhere, right?
No, cameras, can I tell you something about cameras?
They never work when you need them.
There's never a camera who you would benefit from
functioning that is actually functioning,
or they'll just tell you that camera doesn't work.
Anytime I've been in peril, and I've needed camera
to support that I was a victim of said peril,
the camera was disconnected, it wasn't working,
it was pointing in the wrong direction, that
camera doesn't record, it's only a live feed.
The cameras never work when you need them.
Same with in Colombo.
Mm-hmm.
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I knew they all like beer and they all look like people who want to drink beer that actually
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Don LeBotard.
I heard that as a woman faking pain.
I didn't think that sounded real.
I really didn't, you know.
It was not fake.
It was in no way fake.
Yeah.
You can spot a woman faking it.
Stugats.
Yes, I can, Jess.
Expert.
I've been married 40 years.
This is the Don LeBotard Show with the StuGards. Put it on the poll please, Juju, at LeBotard Show.
Is the Valet's primary responsibility just to see what this thing can do at LeBotard
Show?
Yesterday, during the game, during the Philadelphia game, and I was a little surprised to see the Packers not be able
to do anything but I suppose given how injured they are they're the youngest
team in the league and they didn't beat anybody good this year and so they get
to the playoffs and they get to Philadelphia and Philadelphia rolls them
during the game after Juju gave you the three leg parlay
of McConkie over four and a half catches Pickens over three and a half catches
and oh AJ Brown over oh ouch yeah he didn't get it on AJ Brown but AJ Brown
during the game I imagine Philadelphia is tired of A.J. Brown. It's been a little bit confusing to see A.J. Brown not be super dominant.
I don't care what Philadelphia is tired of.
I'm tired of their fan base.
How does that sound?
They wanted to fire Nick Sirianni like a month or two ago, and now they're all celebrating
Nick Sirianni.
He is the greatest coach in Eagles history.
I said it.
Better than Andy Reid, better than Dick Vermeel.
This is the fourth consecutive season.
He has led this team to the playoffs.
He's the only Eagles coach in Eagles history
to do that for first four seasons, going to the playoffs.
He was a play away from beating Andy Reid and Patrick
Mahomes in a Super Bowl.
I don't care about what Philadelphia fans think
about anything. And I'm talking to you, Spike Eskin anything and I'm talking to you Spike Eskin and I'm talking to you Angelo Cataldi. I
don't care what you have to say. You wanted to fire Nick Sirianni 35 days ago
and I'm not going to allow you to celebrate Nick Sirianni moving forward.
How about that? Wow it's been announced. Wow. You saw it. I don't even know if Kataldi's still on the air. I have no idea.
I don't think Spike Eskin is there.
Spike Eskin is there.
He went from WFAN,
I was going to take his job as the program director,
and now he's doing afternoon drive.
How about that?
Howard Eskin to Spike Eskin.
No nepotism there.
I mean, nothing to see.
Burt Bell was pretty good, Stu Gatts.
Pretty good Eagles coach.
He loved the Eagles so much, he had a heart attack
because he couldn't stay away.
His doctor was like, stop going to Eagles games,
you're gonna die.
And then he couldn't stop and he died.
But there is something pretty ridiculous
about seeing Eagle fans now celebrate Nick Sirianni
when two months ago, they wanted him fired.
They did, they were yelling at him at home games.
I know, but Stugats, the sports fan is-
Of that sports fan
emotional and uh... not rational not shackled to consistency or or the
rigidities of having to stay on the same path all the time you know what i would
give for nick sir i need to be my coach you know what i would give for the last
four seasons of the eagles anything
anything
but the finger
does still got to have it right when he says that uh... syriana is better than
andy reid because i don't think that's accurate
justin herbert has more passing yards than any quarterback ever through five
seasons has a one a playoff game has the same number of playoff wins
as to uh... does uh... and i seasons. Hasn't won a playoff game. Has the same number of playoff wins as Tua does. And I look at
Justin Herbert and I say that winning is not a quarterback stat. I look at Justin Herbert and I
think that him having more passing yards than any quarterback ever through five seasons means that he's a good quarterback but i would not proclaim him
based on that statistic
harbaugh is saying of him that
justin herbert is already an all-timer
in terms of skill set
when you say siriani the criticism seems fair to me of Sirianni, he's got a loaded team.
He's got a team that all of us.
He's 48 and 20 with that team.
Yeah, and should be.
Because.
But he is.
Yeah, and he has gotten to a place
where he has put the standard at everyone knows
how good that team is.
It is one of the six good teams, right?
Like we're all, we all know who the six good teams are.
Correct?
We'd all have the same list for that.
And whoever's seven would be after like a good distance
from what it is that we know.
It's pretty rare for us to know this like this.
It's pretty rare to have a bunch of teams
that only have two or three or four losses.
It's not a normal thing to see the Packers
in that division not be able to beat anyone good.
And when they go into Philadelphia,
you're like, yeah, that's how that's gonna go.
They surprised me on the road at Dallas,
but I know Philadelphia is good.
I wasn't sure about Dallas.
Even with Dak Prescott and then having thirteen wins that season we all could have seen
them losing
at losing at home or whatever was that what i would have twelve wins of thirteen
wins that season
everyone listening to this knows philadelphia's good and knows philadelphia's
been good for four years and furthermore
don't give serianni the credit for that. Right. Like don't look at that team and say that's because of
Sirianni. When you say six good teams and we all know it,
you're talking Chiefs, Ravens, Bills, Eagles, Lions, Bengals.
I'm not certain if the Vikings are. Who is the six? I was
like saying that back here. I was I assume there's five definitive, right?
Yeah, yeah, the Texans would be that like who is that?
It would be the Vikings. So you guys are not buying on the Vikings like you're not not with those other no
We'll see I'll let you know after tonight. Okay, fine. You don't that's fine. I I've done the same thing all season
I'm like Sam Darnold's gonna lose at the end. Fine, but they have been good all season
Like there's not there's not any disputing of that the couple of times they played the they played the
Teams that we think are good. They've played with them except they the Detroit game at the end
I guess probably changes your mind on the Vikings, right? I mean, they're 14 and 3
No, I think they're good. I just don't know if they're in that group of five
Very good, but I mean it's a little bit different now that the game's been relocated to Arizona
But losing a road game to Sean McVeigh and the Rams like is there a great deal of shame in that
This is what everybody was kind of afraid of if Sean McVeigh got into the postseason
Which is why I would have voted for him to get in if they didn't make it if I was given the chance
I would have kicked out the Vikings and just been like, ah, Arnold. Not the Bengals. Wow. You're kicking out a 15 and 2 team or were the Vikings 14 and 3?
Really really good team. Yeah, their record in one run games was fantastic. Run games? One score game. One, one, uh, what did I say?
One run games. Yeah, their record overall was 14 and 3 so it stands to reason.
Right, well that's true, but no the point is they didn't win that many routes I don't think they played a lot of close games but won them that
means something what was Minnesota's point differential can you give me the
can you give me the teams obviously it's going to be those five that have the
best point differential but is Minnesota in there with those five in terms of
having won games by big margins? What are the point
differentials? The Bills have the biggest one, correct? Or is it the Lions? The
Vikings were plus 100. The Packers, just to put that into perspective, the Packers
were plus 122. I'm seeing Bills and Ravens both plus 157. And the Lions plus
222. So that's ridiculous. You read the reports that because it's unfortunate that Minnesota has to go against the Sean
McVay team on the road. The NFL is finally looking at this asinine rule that if you went
into division, you host a playoff.
Whoa, asinine.
He hated about the NFL.
What?
Hated about the NFL.
I'm with Mike.
All winning a division should guarantee you as a playoff spot. Home field advantage is
so immense in that sport that I really hate it for a team like Minnesota. It's been really I'm with Mike all it should guarantee all winning a division should guarantee you as a playoff spot home field advantage is so
Immense in that sport that I really hate it for a team like, Minnesota
It's been really good, but they just so happen to occupy the same division as the Lions that they have to go through this
Impossible path I disagree
I think the division that this is why the division rivalries are so good because winning your division gives you a reward that you
Wouldn't otherwise get I know it's a reward still
It's just like no more home game is for you.
But if you're Tampa Bay playing in a weak division,
you have a leg up before the season even starts,
as opposed to Minnesota playing in arguably the toughest
division in football.
I think there's such an obsession with trying to even
the playing field.
Just like the system's fine.
It's fine.
It's good.
But Greg, in fairness.
You don't have to keep trying to adjust things constantly.
Right, in fairness, no one headed into the season,
everyone thought Lions Packers in that division.
It was not the Vikings.
The Vikings were supposed to be a bad group.
People thought the Bears were gonna make the playoffs
before the season.
No, the Bears are making the Super Bowl.
I said that in Kansas City.
I'm very staunchly in the camp
that you should only get a playoff spot, not host,
but just be warned, this means for worse playoff games. Because the better teams are going to get home field advantage
and that usually, you know, evens things out a little bit. I am pro more blowouts, I guess.
Pete Billy, can you please update me on a couple of things, both your listener league
and how the voting is going for the Sports Podcast Awards that everyone in our audience should
help God Bless Football win because God Bless Football should win with or without your help,
but you should help Billy and Stugat win with God Bless Football, which is already award-winning.
Well, not just us. You can also help Pablo, you can also help David. There's a number of
shows that are up for Sports Podcast Award, and guys, today's the deadline. So,
if you're listening to this tomorrow, it's too late.
But I appreciate the effort.
But if you're listening to this today, vote.
And vote right now, don't put it off
because these awards are held across the pond.
They're over there in England, right?
And here's the thing, I don't know what time zones
we all know are tricky, a situation there.
I don't know what time the polls close.
They close today, but is it England time or is it situation there. I don't know what time the polls close. They close today, but is it England time
or is it America time?
I don't know.
Just vote now.
Just try to get, be sure to get your vote in.
So vote for us, go to sportspodcastscoop.com.
Now you ask about the listener league, Dan.
How'd you do this week?
I didn't participate.
What do you mean?
Why not?
It's so much fun.
I really think you would like fantasy,
especially this fantasy.
It's not like a commitment. Every week is a new roster, so you don't have to worry about it
You can dress up if you want. Yeah, that's true. You can it has nothing to do with it at all
But if you want you you can dress up more fun. Yeah, let's make a pact all of us together
We're all gonna participate next week the act
Packed Dan pinky promise pinky promise my pinky Dan, put your pinky around Sue's eyes.
When's the last time you pinky promised, Dan?
Like a legitimate one.
Are you shocked that it's the same size
as all the other fingers?
Really, before your pinky touches my pinky,
make sure you wanna do this.
You're committed to it?
I've never before pinky promised.
Now you have to kiss the hand.
In your marriage?
You have to do this.
I do, my wife always does.
Exactly.
You kiss your thumb.
Yeah. Stu, you have to kiss now. Exactly. You kiss your thumb. Yeah.
Stu, you have to kiss.
Now, and now you kiss Lips.
This would be the same time, yeah, Dan, lead in.
Yeah, give the image.
Now you guys are at the same time.
Get your timing, go.
Give the image at that image.
Now you're married.
Yeah, there you go.
There you go.
It's adorable.
You're gonna regret that immediately.
I already do.
From fireside conversations to football Sundays,
winter means more moments with the coolest people
in your life.
Make these moments even better with Miller Lite.
I know I do.
The grape tasting light beer for people who love beer.
A new year is a perfect time for friends, family, and grape tasting light beer.
Tastes like Miller time.
Recently I had family over and while everyone's palate is different, I knew they all like
beer and they all look like people who want to drink beer that actually tastes like beer.
So I brought out a nice little silver platter of Miller Lite.
That beautiful white can was an instant winner.
Trust me, learn from my experience, set that bad boy out, and you will be making people
happy left and right.
Because Miller Lite is brewed for taste.
It hits different than other light beers, the original light beer since 1975. And still the very best one. Miller Lite,
great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery
options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they
sell beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing
Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.