The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The Dolphins New Pro Bowl QB
Episode Date: September 16, 2024We take a listen to Lucy's most recent Off Rohd-ing from the tailgates in Madison, Wisconsin ahead of the Badgers' matchup with Alabama. We also check out Greg Cote's new "Back in my Day" book cover. ...Then, who dressed Moose Johnston this weekend? Plus, the crew dives deeper into Travis Kelce's recent struggles in Pat Mahomes' Chiefs offense, and the Dolphins have signed a PRO BOWL QUARTERBACK. Also, was the Great Wall of China built with Porridge? Is a wall a series of forts? When we start holding down forts? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is the Dan Leventor Show with the Stugats Podcast.
-♪
Are you in the shower right now?
This guy is based under the shower.
Hey, Dan, it's me, Lucy, and after taking last week off,
not going to any game, just staying home,
nothing really happened. You don't need to look into it we are back this week
in Madison Wisconsin for Alabama Wisconsin and what is supposed to be the
greatest college town in America so I'm gonna figure out if it is not to worry
about the game though I think Wisconsin's gonna lose by 50
Are you guys scared of Bama? No, absolutely not!
Well, I know.
Look around.
These people aren't scared of anything.
Should they be?
Yes.
Yeah, and they should be.
Absolutely they should be.
Have you seen how big those guys are?
All right, baby, we here, we coming.
This is going to be a blowout.
It's going to be a bloodbath.
Noah's scared of Bama.
We got him.
I got the Badgers by 21, if not 28. Let's go, we coming. It's gonna be a blowout, it's gonna be a bloodbath. Noah scared of Bama, we got him.
I got the Badgers by 21, if not 28.
Let's go, Badgers.
Ain't nothing but the time.
I love your hat.
Thank you.
Thank you, I made it myself.
Okay, what do you have today?
We have Alabama every way you can get them.
It's Bama every way, pretty much.
It's Bama's day.
And they're definitely using the DraftKings app.
DraftKings makes every game day worthwhile.
Look, I hate to say it, there are a lot of fans around us.
I feel like everyone should be more drunk right now.
Well, it is 9 a.m.
It's Wisconsin.
Madison, the best college town in America.
Can you let me know, what is this hat situation we got going on here? Well believe it or not, this hat I found on the road dead and I got a permit from the Wisconsin DNR to make it into a hat.
Have you guys ever heard of the Dan LeBretard show?
I have not, but I will tune in.
Because you were on it.
Correct.
Stu Gutz.
Stu Gutz.
Stu Gutz.
Stu Gutz does so much dumb
**** man. He really does. He's so good at doing dumb ****. Dan, watch your mouth. Stop talking
about LeBron. So one thing that I do like over here is the Tua, Tua song. Tua tapua.
It's just amazing. Everything is amazing. Madison's amazing. Lucy's amazing. The show's
amazing. We're putting the town on alert and we're having a great time.
Who is your favorite person on the show?
Does Greg count?
Yeah, he's...yeah.
Billy is the second, but Greg makes me very, very happy.
So that's the end of the list.
That's the end of the list, yeah.
Alright, well thanks for talking with us.
So...he left out the Lucy on the list.
How has the Tyler Van Dyke experience been for you so far?
The experience was great.
I don't know what else to say.
He is your starting quarterback.
What's up?
He's your starting quarterback.
Give me a multiple choice question.
I think I got it.
So I already asked you about him.
Do you think that hint will answer it for you?
I already told you. Yeah, he got it! He knows the Badger starting quarterback!
How do you guys feel about PJ Fleck? Yeah, how do you feel? I don't know who that is.
They're doing so good. He should be coaching seventh graders the way he runs up and down the field all the time.
I mean you can't be acting like that 500 in the Big Ten now. Come on.
Guess who PJ Fleck is? Who's your guess?
Linebacker. He's got to be a linebacker.
Okay, that is the head coach for the University of Minnesota.
How badly do you miss Nick Saban?
Very badly. I drink from him every night. How badly do you miss Nick Saban? Very badly.
I dream of him every night.
What would you do to have him back?
Probably eat Greg Cody's toenail.
It's so nasty.
This trip to the best college town in America
was presented by Powerade.
It takes more.
Good job, Nick.
It's Jane.
I believe that everyone says they're the number one fan.
I think that Jane actually is the number one fan.
We lived in California and an Alabama game was on, but our neighbors didn't know it.
So they called the police because they thought it was a domestic disturbance because we
were yelling so much.
And we heard your voicemail. Bama's got a new coach in town. Heard he's been going around getting this team ready to win.
I can't wait for football season to begin. Roll call.
Everybody loves my jingle.
See her red shirt? A lady came up at the bar and said, your shirt's inside out.
And she went, that shirt's inside out.
And she went, that's Wisconsin underneath you.
That's what I think about Madison.
Roll Tide.
I can die happy now.
She's gonna take my job.
Roll Tide, roll.
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, in Wisconsin as much as I wanted to hate it and I wanted to hate it so much. It's actually really really awesome here. However the bad news about this whole
thing is we are three weeks into the college football season and I am 0-3.
The home team has lost in every single game I've gone to. So if you don't want
to take your chances and you want to cheer for your team, drown out my bad luck,
download the Game Time app and use code Lucy for $20 off your first order term
supply. You guys know what time it is.
It's game time. Except for here, this game is over. This game was over a long time ago.
I am delighted by some of the things happening around here. Greg Cote's
publisher just left moments ago because Stu Gotz and Greg Cote both have dueling
books and Lucy is keeping the socials along with Juju. She's
keeping everything vibrant on the weekends. You enjoyed the holy hell out
of Madison. Why didn't you have a report last week? What happened? I just was
reminded of that at the top there. I had forgotten that you didn't have a report
last week. I don't know what happened. It's as good as mine. But don't you work for us every weekend?
Not last weekend, nope.
I was off last weekend, nothing was going on.
Real chill weekend, everything's good, vibes great.
Did you trip a kid last week?
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
I feel like you guys are just making stuff up.
Was there some sort of disaster that I don't know about
that is the reason that Lucy didn't have her report last week?
No, she definitely had one where she tripped a kid with her mind.
Yeah, we saw it. You guys are, you sound really crazy right now. I saw her say into a camera, I
wish this kid would fall and he fell. Yeah. That really doesn't sound like me.
Greg, your publisher just left here delighted, skipping on air because our
listeners have made both
of your books, even though Stugatz's isn't quite out yet, but I saw, I saw the galley
last week. It was very exciting.
I love a galley.
It had, it had words in it. There's a book with words in it. Many of them written by
others, but still there is a Stugatz book with words in it. And your publisher just
left because back in my day,
the book now is, this is the first time
I've seen the hard copy, it looks like a dolphin book.
It's dolphin, it has some dolphin colors to it.
Wow, I never noticed.
Also Jetson vibes.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, well it should.
I think the Jetsons are mentioned in this book.
Perhaps more than once.
Do you have a back in my day today?
No, it's Monday.
Yeah.
That's a Tuesday.
But the book comes out October 29th.
Mark the date.
And pre-sales now, Amazon, wherever you buy books.
Why do they have to mark the date if they can get it now?
You know, mark the date.
Because a lot of people like to buy a book the day it comes out.
They go into
a store, it's a tactile experience, instead of it arriving coldly in a package on your
doorstep, you go, you pick it up yourself, you steal it, you put it in your jeans and
you walk out. You don't have to pay for it, although I recommend you do. But October 29th.
Why are you just yammering about theft?
Someone should steal your book?
No, they shouldn't. Put it in their jeans?
No.
Did you get a cut based on sales
or did you already get your money?
Cause then who cares if they steal it, right?
You know what?
If you already got your money, what difference does it make?
Yeah, I don't know how that works.
Oh.
I don't do it for the money.
You want it to sell well though.
The publisher left very happy.
Mango Publishing and Greg Cody said,
well, Stugatz is in real money on his book star greg cody is disparaging his
local public no
now we we love mango public yeah yeah but it is not great part of it is not
quite the monetary cash cow of an unnamed
uh... random random random how would be an example yes to use a random example
when frankly your book was smaller than i thought not in terms of pages in terms of like height
It's a it's a it's it would fit in your pocket. It looks like I'm saying yeah, you could steal it
How'd you decide on that size? How do we decide? I love this size. It's a good size. It's five by seven
It's a good put it on a Walgreens good toilet book. Whoa
seven. You could put it at a Walgreens. Good toilet book. Whoa, what is that supposed to say? That's not an insult? No, I don't disparage. It's not a compliment. Put it on the... You wouldn't say that about the Bible, would you? Put it on the... It's not a good toilet book. I would say it about a book that's good near the toilet. The Bible is too heavy. It's cumbersome. It's not... Leviticus is not easy reading. I mean, it's not a little something light
that you get in and out on.
Very small print, the Bible always, huh?
Just an observation.
Yeah, useless one, largely.
But I am very excited, Greg,
that both you and Stugats have books
and that Lucy is able to have so much fun on weekends
around this ridiculous, stupid thing that we get to do.
Stupid?
That guy had a hat made out of a dead badger.
What's stupid about that?
You got a permit for that hat.
How do you do that?
Okay, so I asked.
He's made 12 badger hats over the years with dead badgers.
So you go to the DNR, and he's been to the DNR so many times,
they know him by name now, like he knows his DNR guy and that he'll get the approval
Usually pretty quick because they know I'm there and then he goes to a taxidermist and they turn it into a hat and he gives
Them to like friends and family
You don't believe that was actually a dead thing that no it absolutely was because I was I was like looking at it
I was like the detail on this is phenomenal and I was going to ask
to touch it, but I said, what on the off chance that this is a real badger?
So I was like, hey, what's the deal with this hat?
Then he told me it was real.
I was like, thank God I didn't touch it.
But yeah, 100% that was a real live animal.
One of the many things that I enjoy about what it is that you're doing with a smirk in your coverage
is these things are a fundamentally insane snapshot of America on Saturdays.
Like it's a wonderful look at something that feels wildly, should feel wildly foreign because
it's nothing but lunatics and so many are drunk by 9 a.m.
Yeah they were very very drunk in Madison and they tailgate kind of differently in Wisconsin
because there are so many bars there and so many bars close to the stadium that there's a lot of
people who will just go to a bar at eight in the morning there which is really really cool but yeah
that's kind of the goal of this series. I'd like to show why you know how college football sort of
shapes these cultures and how everyone is different in why, you know, how college football sort of shapes these cultures
and how everyone is different in like school by school,
but they're all sort of the same.
I loved Madison.
I am a huge fan.
I would go back,
but I think their football teams pretty bad.
My favorite part of off-roading this week was
this lady paying homage to the Puka Nakua song.
Yeah.
Hit it.
So one thing that I do like over here is the Tu-a-tu-ka-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- Nakuwa. over. Nakua hopped into the car. McVeigh has maybe found a star and then that staffer threw
him 25 in two. Oh there's a brand new kid in town out of BYU. They call him Pooka. Pooka Nakua.
Did all of you have the main question that I had from the football weekend,
which was who dressed Moose Johnston?
Oh, not are the Raiders for real, huh?
Put it on the poll, Juju at Lebatard Show,
are the Raiders for real?
But who dressed Moose Johnston?
Because he was trendy for concussions
before concussions were trendy, and I could not believe what it is that he was trendy for concussions before concussions were trendy and I
Could not believe what it is that he was wearing
The combination of things that he was wearing
Meryl hodge did some of this on television Peyton Manning does some of it on
Just tries to trigger me every time he's on television
He's on television. Is that what he's doing?
Yeah.
That's exactly what he's doing.
He's going out of his way to try to trigger you.
We trigger Mike today.
He's got a floral pattern tie, plaid jacket, striped shirt.
Like, what are we doing here, pal?
You're just trying to set me off.
The outfit that Moose Johnston was wearing,
I hope that you guys can find it.
But I just don't
understand what he is doing with the combination of jacket, tie, and shirt, none
of which go together in a way that somebody's got to say something to him
before he leaves the house. I don't know if the, if the rest of you had the same
reaction I did. I don't know whether Greg Olson was doing, which
game was he doing, but it made me sad that he was doing a lesser game than
Saints and Cowboys, which is the one Brady was doing in sitting in Olson's
seat. Can you throw the image of Moose again? Because it looks like he's at a
Jim Ursay convention. Yeah, There's just like a certain swag.
And like, Bushadi has this with Baltimore too. Like they just, they all have the same stylist.
Folks, The Dan LeBattard Show with Stu Gotz is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's something
that you'd love to learn? As an adult, do you make time to explore the new things as often as you'd like?
Or has that sense of curiosity been left behind?
Kids are always learning, always growing, but as adults sometimes we lose that spark.
What's something you've been wanting to pick up?
Gardening, a new language, maybe finally beat your best friend in bowling.
Therapy can help you reconnect with that sense of wonder.
Your back to school era can start at any age.
BetterHelp, because learning and growing should never stop.
If you're thinking of starting therapy,
give BetterHelp a try.
It's entirely online, designed to be convenient,
flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Just fill out a brief questionnaire
to get matched with a licensed therapist,
and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.
Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp.
Visit betterhelp.com slash D-L-B
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Don LeBattard.
Quiet man.
Yes.
You know, I'm a married man.
I don't cheat on my wife despite that gratuitous line
in back in my day.
That you wrote. Stugots. I wish you were here, my wife despite that gratuitous line
Two gods I wish you were here my wife. I really miss her
No, I don't that's the thing about being married. You know you're not allowed to say I don't miss my wife I've been gone two days. I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife. I'm sorry I call her
30 seconds you know what am I hello all right? All right? We'll see you all right, and then you know I'm gonna see her in two days. I was on the phone with her for 30 seconds. You know, what am I? Hello, alright, alright, we'll see ya. Alright, and then, you know, I'm gonna see her in two days.
I was jumping Charlie, good.
This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stugarts.
I want to ask you guys about what happened in and at Baltimore because the Raiders winning
that game after the Chargers wiped the floor because the Raiders winning that game after the Chargers
wiped the floor with the Raiders and I think with Minshew as the quarterback
you kind of know what a Minshew quarterback team, what their
ceiling is. It's only going to be so high. For the Ravens to again be up 10 points
for a two-time MVP to have a team that runs the ball very well largely because Lamar runs it well but that runs the ball very well
being the worst team at the league at protecting ten-point leads in the fourth
quarter being a team that lost only four times last year and now has lost twice
this year and Greg said earlier they were a toe away from winning no they
were not they were a toe away and an extra point from tying the game they've now lost twice you
guys last week said to me when i'm talking about the bangles being oh and
two all they always start slow and they rebound i'm like i don't think that's a
repeatable thing i don't think you can keep starting oh and two and then just
be good enough the following year to fix it every time like this they are slow
starters but i don't believe they're just going to be able to fix it every time. Like, yes, they are slow starters, but I don't believe they're just gonna be able to fix that
because they're the Bengals.
Well, they've started 0-2 three consecutive years
and they fixed it, I mean.
But you think that's a repeatable thing
that they could do that every year for 10 years?
Cause I don't.
Well, they play the commanders
on Monday night football next week,
so I think that they'll be on the right track yet again.
And that was really unfortunate.
I wasn't a fan of that call.
I don't think many people were.
It's not like the Kansas city chiefs need anybody's help,
but the Baltimore thing, it's been a thing for a couple of seasons.
Now where they're reputed to blow big leads.
And it's weird because if you would think of an offense that is kind of designed
to protect leads, it's that they've always had a solid rushing attack,
spearheaded by their quarterback, who seemingly can get six yards whenever he wants to with
his leg. And you watch these games and it's a little confusing as to how these
things happen. Usually it's a turnover. The game flows make no sense when you
watch the Baltimore Ravens blow some of these games. Billy's put Justin Tucker,
he's got an eye on him on god bless football he's now one for seven
uh... from fifty yards plus which is a bit stunning for a hall of famer they
need a long distance guy they do
i mean specialist
yeah they said he was kicking him from seventy yards at the end of that game i
don't know what you guys wanted when they were seventy yards from the end zone
but i did want a seventy seven yard field goal try by Justin Tucker instead of what they did,
which is just Lamar Jackson is gonna try running
straight up the field on the last play for 70 yard.
It's the better option though, I mean Lamar.
Which one is?
Lamar, I mean, Tucker can't hit from 50,
you want him to hit from 77?
I wanted them to get within 70 yards.
I wanted to see Justin Tucker try a 70 yard field goal.
He could make it.
I would have liked to have seen that more.
Which one do you like your chances on better?
Hail Mary from 63 yards out or a 70 yard field goal?
Or I guess it'd be 53 yards out.
I'm going with more.
When he started running, I was like, what is he doing?
And then as he was doing it, I'm like, this might work.
This was actually a good idea.
You don't have to bother about having someone actually
catch the ball.
You just kind of keep throwing it backwards to your own team.
He got like a good 30 yards before anyone
was anywhere near him.
Stu Gotz mentioned that what he had at the end of the Jets
game felt like a bomb, which is, oh, I've
got a quarterback who could lead me down the field and is going to do so without panic and i don't
expect him to turn the ball over
are we officially
at the status where my homes is in tom brady land which is you cannot leave
him time he is going
you have to fear him at the end of the game no matter what his timeout
situation no matter travis kelsey one catch for five yards no matter that his offensive weapons
are clearly reduced and he's thrown for a buck fifty you cannot leave him time
at the end of the game we are all expecting him to come back and win the
game I think that's been the case for a while now with Patrick Mahomes not just
this year I think what's interesting about Kansas City in the start they've
gotten off to here is they have done so With a Travis Kelsey and Dan pointed out the reasons why earlier in the show
He is not focused but Travis Kelsey is not playing well, but Checo is hurt
Hollywood Brown is out and they're still 2-0 and it's a 2-0 against the Ravens and the Bengals like that's pretty impressive
Yeah, and and I think one of the things Mahomes has proven is that a couple years ago okay he's got tyreek hill he's got travis kelsey in
his prime
he didn't have either of those things now but he is so great
that he makes
nondescript receivers seem great you guys say you guys say this but it is a
monumental effort for right now for kansas city to get to twenty six points
the salary cap has decimated that often side used to work
i used to think every time out there gonna get four touchdowns like it and
i'm going to be selling for field goals
and you should expect them to score in the thirties what that often sees now
compared to what it's been and i know it was much of this last year it's not
recognizable he's great but that often does not scare me what we're doing is not giving the chiefs defense and steve spagnola enough credit because
he's been great since he's gotten there i mean the defense has been really good
with the youngest defenses every year but still what i'm telling you can't be
disputed stugance travis kelsey is now at an age where that does i mean look at
the wear and tear on that body how he's had to play to be the best receiver to feel
like the best wide receiver in football as a tight end because of what he can do if I give you him
one catch for five yards when I've always known he's good for 14 targets a game and he's going
to have nine catches for a buck 30 like you know it coming in and that's what it's going to be for
both games this season for him to be feel like a non-factor and for when that game is being decided yesterday
Patrick Mahomes has a hundred and fifty yards passing like that's yes
That's not that and and he'll complete the passes but a hundred and fifty yards passing
That is no you will every team in the league will take that before the game as a Patrick Mahomes start
He's also turned the ball over a lot this season. Like he turned it over twice yesterday. He turned it over once the week
before. Like he's kind of a little wild with the ball this year. I would say that when your offense
is not as good, that's what's going to happen. And there's not a disputing that in the last five
years, what we've seen through these two games is the worst version. This offense has been in decline for a season and a half.
It's being held together by the greatness of its quarterback.
And so is Kelsey, by the way.
And then he had the arrow pointing down,
and then he had the greatest postseason a Titans ever had.
So I'm not going to start saying he's done.
And certainly what I thought you did earlier in the show was really out of line
Totally yeah
Stu gots would you do me the favor of looking at the last two game logs that looked anything like what Travis?
Kelsey has just put up in the last two games where it's one catch for five yards in the last one and the one before that
Whatever it was three for 32. So you want a two game stretch earlier in his career?
before that whatever was three for thirty two so you want to gain stretch earlier in his career i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i no matter who was in the kansas city chiefs hustle travis kelsey is good for nine targets again he's never one catch five yards that's not
but kittles do that once in a while weirdly in a way that i don't understand
but it's not
it's not travis kelsey and so i'm
i'm confused by it through two games and it doesn't matter cuz they're two and
oh anyway right but if the defenses are taking away
travis kelsey that's why the white house no but but but right my point is there
is no such thing every defense is always trying to take away
travis kelsey what you've seen in the last couple of dolphin games where
tyreek hill has been neutralized
it makes me assume
he's injured even though he's largely not done anything against the bills
historically because there is no neutralizing that every week
somebody's trying to stop it it doesn't get stopped but the last dolphin game
you get a situation where waddle and hill don't do anything in every week
somebody's trying to make sure that someone other than waddle and hill beat
us they also haven't really targeted trevis kelsey at all right they had three
targets this week four targets last week.
This could be reading into it like too much and maybe I'm crazy, but like these
two teams and the Ravens and the Bengals are teams that the chiefs are probably
going to have to go through at the end of the season, possibly in the playoffs.
Right?
So maybe you don't want to show them everything right now.
They're not really going after Travis at all.
So they have enough pieces that they
can get everybody targets.
He has like seven, eight guys that he's
hitting a game in terms of targets here.
Maybe they're not giving them everything right now.
2021, he had back to back games against the Raiders
and the Broncos, six catches, 54 yards.
Total.
Yeah.
I didn't want to go back further.
I mean, I was getting tired.
OK.
But what Billy is saying seems shocking.
Gotta play it close to the vest.
That the Chiefs are playing possum.
You've got them playing, it's not, which is it?
Which is it?
Is it close to, which is it?
Close to the vest or possum?
Which are they doing?
You have the Chiefs not trying to activate Travis Kelsey.
Doing just enough.
Just enough to beat the Ravens.
They have little things here and there.
What happens game one?
Xavier Worthy.
Wow, this guy's a star.
Next week, like three targets.
This is what they're doing.
They're just showing you all the ways they can beat you.
And then you prepare for one and then boom,
someone else beats you next week.
Right, but postseason they put it all together.
Yeah.
Let's keep Travis Kelsey under wraps
because people don't know about him.
Well, which one is it? Is it close to the vest? Let's keep Travis Kelsey under wraps because people don't know about him. He's only been in the league for 10 years.
Which one is it?
Is it close to the vest?
Is it under wraps or is it playing possum?
I like possum.
I mean...
So they're playing dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
2-1-0.
Dead is that Wisconsin guy's badger on his hat.
The Dolphins just signed a Pro Bowl quarterback.
Find out who next.
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Don LeBattard.
I heard that as a woman faking pain.
I didn't think that sounded real.
I really didn't, you know.
It was not fake.
It was in no way fake.
You can spot a woman faking it.
Stugats.
Yes I can, Jess.
Expert.
I've been married 40 years.
This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats.
Mike Ryan with the dirtiest of tricks. He said a Pro Bowl quarterback has been signed by the
Dolphins and Stugats' immediate response was Tannahill. He just shouted a Tannahill into the
distance. It could mean anyone. I mean, really. Everyone makes the Pro Bowl.
That is true. It could be anyone. You were lamenting at the beginning of the show about
the Pro Bowl voting. Who is it, Mike Ryan? You tricked us because the audience, you've
teased that it was somebody who was- It's Tom Brady, folks.
Wow. Wow.
The day is no longer nigh. It is here. Wow.
He made a Pro Bowl.
It's not Tom Brady.
Who did they get?
Why did they get him?
And it's less exciting than you made it sound.
Tyler Huntley.
Ah!
The Ravens practice squad.
Yes.
This is Tyler Huntley's third team in like three weeks.
A quarterback that can hold down the forts.
I mean.
Kenny?
Yes.
He made a Pro Bowl, Dan. That's what he does. Technically he did.
Wait a minute. He's a fort holder downer.
Yeah. When Lamar Jackson was injured,
this guy came in held the fort down so well, he made a pro bowl.
Can you guys help me with that saying why and how does one hold down a fort?
Is the fort being overrun by insurgents?
Like what's happening?
You're losing one of your best players.
You need someone to come in until that guy is healthy again
to kind of keep everything in order.
Stugats, I understand what you meant by the cliche.
I'm just clearing it up.
I'm asking for the origins of why is one holding,
why and how is one holding down a fort?
Oh, clearly a general leaves a fort
and then turns to someone second or third in command,
says, hey, I gotta go do this diplomacy thing.
You hold down the fort.
I think it involves wind.
Forts used to be built differently than they are now.
Then they eventually did it with limestone
or whatever you were stoned,
but before that, I think forts were kind of flimsy,
and if a big gust of wind would come
and people weren't holding it down, it could just blow away. I gotta be honest, I don't were kind of flimsy, and if a big gust of wind would come and people weren't holding it down,
it could just blow away.
I gotta be honest.
I don't know in my mind right now,
as we talk about this, visually what a fort looks like.
It looks like Bob Greasy getting hurt
and a whole moral slotting in.
He's in my top five.
That's what that looks like.
I understand, I have top five quarterbacks
that hold down the fort.
The saying may have actually started there.
You know what a fort looks like?
How is that possible?
Do you not have a childhood?
A lot of wood.
I am unclear about the general that would be in my childhood fort.
That is not what a fort looks like when a general needs a lieutenant to hold it down.
Not the ones from my childhood.
It's medieval. Yeah. The fort of my childhood. Hmm. Hmm. It's medieval
Yeah, the word of my child right my ute. Yeah, I think of a medieval fort quick fact the
Great Wall of China was built with partly with porridge
Like the kind of porridge you eat was mixed in with the cement interesting to make the great wall Fort you know the same courage did yeah, well the the Great Wall of China forts the Great Wall of China is not a for
Tying anything he tied together with porridge
With the fact or the fact that didn't have anything to do with what we were talking about fascinating if true. It's true
Yeah, great wall reminded me of fort.
The same similar construction.
I don't think it is.
A fort is not a wall.
A fort has walls.
No, no.
I think the difference is that it's not closed off.
Had they closed off the Great Wall of China, then it'd be a big fort.
Put a moat in front of it called a fort.
There you go.
Sort of, yeah.
There you go. I believe a fort needs called a fort. There you go. Sort of, yeah. There you go.
I believe a fort needs like a roof.
No.
No.
Open-air forts.
Open-air, yeah.
Retractable forts nowadays.
Never mind.
By the way, Mariah Carey went to the Great Wall of China this weekend.
She tweeted about it.
Really?
She tweeted, didn't know I wasn't supposed to wear heels, so five inch heels walking
the Great Wall of China.
Wow, did she mention that porridge was in the making?
I've confirmed that, Greg. She did not tweet it but she looked fabulous.
My dad is actually right. I'm seeing builders of the great wall of china added sticky rice
porridge to their lime mortar. He said it was a fact. I didn't dispute the fact. I disputed
the placement of the fact in a conversation about forts. A great wall of china is not
a fort. It doesn't have anything to do with what we were talking about
similar construction exactly you know they were built around the same era
yeah you know that's that's the way it might i'd still don't know what
visually the most traditional for that you have tyler hundley holding down i
don't know what it physically looks like.
Yes, he held down the Ravens Fort,
but that doesn't mean he can hold down this fort.
Well, hold on a second.
When we say fort, what do we mean?
That's what I'm asking.
Because like, fort, some would argue,
is short for fortification, correct?
Is that not what a fort is?
And right here, I Googled, is the Great Wall of China
a fort?
And it says the Great Wall of China, fort and it says the Great Wall of China
Literally is a series of fortifications. Thank you. Yes. Yep. So it's a series of forts
For Lauderdale. There you go
That's another fort
Fort drum top five forts
Forts. Frank Forts.
I like his name.
Local sports.
Yeah.
Frank Forts.
Very good.
One of the greatest Forts ever.
Just like Tyler Huntley's the best Huntley since Chet.
Huh.
Many are saying that.
They are.
He's going for a sip,
look, he's going for a vigorous sip of the coffee
when he's very pleased.
Huntley Brinkley.
Pleased by his jokes.
Heard it on the train this morning.
I'm going to transition here awkwardly. Why'd you wanna talk about Forts, Dan? It's weird. So I heard it on the train this morning. I'm going to transition here
Why'd you want to talk about Fort stand to so I didn't bring it up Billy
I do appreciate you. I said a quarterback that could hold down the fort
Anarchy do you like the signings football experts? I wanted I wanted Jamis so bad
Jamis would have been so much fun. Yeah, you guys don't think that would have fun
I don't think he's the kind of guy they should have signed in the sense that he doesn't have a
lot of experience. He's got like nine career starts. Tyler Huntley, he holds down fours.
To me, if you're going to bring in a quarterback, it's a veteran who has been there and done that,
a Ryan Tannehill type. I don't you you want to bring in another quarterback who's
inexperienced
you know just hasn't played that much he's twenty six years old i want
brady
he's got nine career so brady doesn't hold out for brady tries to steal the
four tell me that brady's not tempted by this you cannot has to be you cannot
tell me that he was attempted he already was tempted once
and i think there's a lot of baggage here and I know he still has a home down here,
but I think maybe the NFL, I don't know if they ever made a ruling that said, Hey, if
you ever do try to come back, don't go there. Right. He owns part of a team. He's 50 years
old. You can't be serious. To be fair, he owned the dolphins for 20 years. He's also
making $37 million or whatever it is to just like not have to go to meetings because he owns a team
And just go call a game once a week put it on the pole
Please that levitate show is Brady tempted by this dolphin situation
You crack the top five you can't tell me he's not tempted you can't say you can't say it with a straight face
You can't I mean it's to tempted. You can't say it with a straight face. You can't.
I mean, it's to re-kill and Jalen Waddle.
He has to be tempted.
It's not to re-kill.
You've been saying it's to re-kill for years and years.
Ty re-kill.
There you go.
I mean, he has those two weapons.
Those would be the best two receivers he's ever had.
Seriously.
Well, he had Randy Moss.
The best two.
Well, I mean, were Moss and Welker not on the same team?
No, they were not?
Welker was there.
Dante Salworth was on that team.
It's a ridiculous thing he just said.
He was just on a team with Godwin and Mike Evans.
Beyond ridiculous.
You wouldn't take Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddle
over any two receivers he's ever had?
I would say this would be his.
Troy Brown was the name you were fishing for.
No, I would say that he was his most recent Super Bowl champion those wide receivers were better and Antonio Brown was like the
Four-string wide receiver on that team
He also has an Odell Beckham who just like at the end of the year will be cleared to play and just play in the
Playhouse should they make the play?
I'm not willing to say that any tandem is better than any tandem that has Randy Moss in it
I'm not I'm not John who Smith not gonna do that. John who Smith wasn't on those Patriots.
Just Moss and anyone?
Yes.
I'll tell you what, Ryan Tannehill's playing
a dangerous game of musical chairs right now.
He's gonna find himself without a chair.
He needs to pick a team.
This whole I just wanna start the rest of the season game
is not gonna go well for him.
There's plenty of time though.
There's always another chair.
It's gonna be so many chairs open
before the end of the season.
You don't think so?
Dangerous game of musical chairs he's playing right now.
Listening audience, a lot has changed over our 20 years together. One thing that hasn't? The great
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