The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The GOAT Pen
Episode Date: February 13, 2024Lucy and Jeremy have extra details on the interaction between Drunk Jess and Drunk Greg at the airport which leads to a conversation on boarding airplanes. Then, Andy Reid enters the GOAT Pen, and Dan... has BONUS FOOTBALL THOUGHTS! Plus, Pablo Torre is here to discuss Nick Wright's success, Greg adding a new first line to his obituary, fact checking compliments, Joel Embiid, and Victor Wembanyama. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. minutes to get it together! So head to 1800flowers.com right now! 1800 Flowers has amazingly great
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This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
So earlier Greg accused Jess of stealing his water and she is my best pal.
I do not want to betray her but I can confirm she did steal your water.
As we were going through the line to get on the airplane, which one she went a boarding
group early,
that girl was wild that night, crazy.
I've learned you can do that just to stop you real fast.
If you have confidence,
you gotta read the person that's doing it.
A lot of times, once you get past group two,
they aren't really checking it.
You just stick to the person behind you,
put your phone face down over the scanner.
Some people hand the phone to the person
for that's where a dangerous game.
You gotta be confident, put your brightness all the way up,
face down, you can make your way through,
I'm telling you, you can do this.
I've always wondered about that.
It's like the person that's actually doing it
doesn't care, right?
And they don't know exactly what group is by,
what group, right?
Because then you don't know where the cutoff is,
you say, yeah, we're by group boarding,
group three now, whatever.
I've always wondered, but I don't have the confidence
to just decide I'm gonna do this.
No, I've witnessed my dad get stopped in this situation. Really? And it was a
nightmare. That's my worst nightmare. I think it depends on the worker. You gotta really do your
homework. You gotta study the person and see if they're checking phones. There are people who
take the grouping on flights very seriously. So I believe Jeremy when he says that that has happened
to his father because people take it very, very seriously now. I am confident, and I'm always a group one guy.
Even when I'm a group four guy, I'm a group one guy.
I'm going on that plane first.
See, that's danger.
I feel like group one, they're checking.
That's the only group, like once they get to three,
if I'm like a five or a six, I'm going in group three.
That's the moment.
I'm shocked you don't go when they ask for military people.
Yeah.
I'm really honest with you.
Thought about it.
Where are your khakis to the airport
Khakis back to Jess though. I don't know is this dog tags
Is it stealing a water if because this is how went down as Jess was going to reach for the water
She said can I have your water?
So it's one of those things where it's a combo. She was taking it regardless, but she did say.
It was already on the whip back.
Can I have this as she's grabbing it?
So is that a steal?
Yeah, she was not waiting for an answer.
At that point, she was emitting tumbleweeds
from her mouth because her throat was so dry.
She could barely get out the words,
can I have your water as she was grabbing it.
So she needed it, man.
She was that kind of thing.
Am I right?
So I have a huge update.
We have been talking about different water.
She was taking like a glass of water from you.
When we were walking through the line to get on the airport,
she handed me a bottle of water saying, this is yours.
I said, go from that.
It's not mine.
Wow.
And she was like, oh, well, I definitely
took somebody's water.
The rare two bottle.
That's amazing.
Multiple waters.
I don't know who the second water was from there, but I think she drank it regardless.
Dad, you see the lesson here though is when you're drunk, drink water.
Yep, this is something I had to-
Anyone's water.
I had to pin my dad down and pour water into his mouth.
I'm telling you-
You handed him water when we were still at the hotel.
When we were still at the hotel and he was drunk.
You handed him a glass of water and he was angry at you for giving him the water because you felt he felt like you were treating
Him like a toddler. It's just like what are you might supposed to do and like chug it drink the water chug it dad
I don't drink enough water. I admit that there's water and beer right? Yeah, like 80% and every time I do drink water
I I love it so much. He's like oh
Man, yeah, it's good. It's like a revelation.
Every time I drink water, like, where's this been my whole life?
You're discovering it for the first time every time?
Yeah.
Really?
Water is so great.
I think you and I had a moment where
you had me dressing like a military man,
walking onto an airplane.
Right, like an admiral or like a general,
where you rent all those stars, you know.
I have dog tags, I have camouflage on, army boots.
Everything.
Literally, there's few things you can do less than if you did that.
That would be worse.
See, I can't do, I don't have the nerve.
If I'm in group two, I don't have the nerve to try to get in with a group once.
I just don't.
I'm such a, I'm never more of a rule follower and a law-abiding citizen
Then with things that don't matter like I will not get in an express lane with an 11th item
I just won't do it because I feel like people are counting my items and I don't want to be the guy who's seen as the
You know the a-hole you know so right, but I hate the people that line up for the gate, right?
Like those are the worst people in the world.
Are the people who line up who are in group five
and are just sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting.
It's infuriating.
Why are you in such a rush?
You're stressing me out for no reason.
There is nothing more annoying in an airport
than a group four person lining up for group one.
Exactly, right?
It's a nightmare.
I don't understand why they do it.
Yes, either decide you're gonna be a group one person
or don't, okay?
Even if you are a group four person,
get out of my way.
Either get in line and hope no one catches you
or get the hell out of my way.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
That's the way you have to handle it.
And I can imagine that drunk Greg
or drunk Jess would have done it
because the best part is that
I spoke to each of them the following morning.
I was with Greg at the airport and I said,
oh, one of the funniest things I've ever seen
was watching you and Jess interact so drunk.
And he went, Jess was drunk?
And then when I texted Jess about it and said,
oh man, Lucy and I were saying it was like
National Geographic watching you and drunk Greg interact.
She went, Greg was drunk?
That's how drunk each of them was.
They didn't even notice the other one was.
I really didn't.
Even when she stole my water,
I didn't put two and two together.
She has such like an easy drunk tell.
Like her face is just like permanently like,
really like smirking.
So when she walked up, I was like, she is hammered.
Oh my God, you can tell right away.
All right, what's yours?
I'm gonna file that away.
I don't know
I don't know right his eyes are a little closed slurring
Did you guys did you guys take notes on each other?
Just mental notes like during the trip because I took notes of who is an airplane
Standard because I was way at the back of the airplane who and I went to see who exactly what I looked around I go
Hmm who are the people that stand as soon as the airplane lands I got money I'm the halls Lewis Tony
Mike Funtas was one of them. Oh
Tony's flying the plane so well that's Tony Tony Tony has a constantly be in the aisle just in case there's a situation
Right as our plane was taking off to leave the woman next to me was like hey
I got to get up for a second. She just went and talked to the pilot and I was like
What's up?
What was that conversation?
That's an air-martial for sure.
She took her shoes off.
She absolutely was not an air-martial.
It was so weird.
I was like, girl, what's going on?
Is there something I need to know here?
Odd behavior.
Do you guys look for the air-martial?
Are you trying to seek out the air-martial?
Because I am told the air-martial rarely
looks like an air-martial air marshal because I am told the air marshal rarely looks like an air marshal
That's what I'm told whatever you imagine an air marshal look like
The person who looks least like that is the air marshal. I don't think there's air marshals anymore
Really this feels like one of those lies they tell us just so we feel safe
There's not an air marshal in every plane anymore get out of here how I
Don't know I don't believe that's still happening
And they tell you you're not gonna know what they look like and then you're just like trying to play the guessing
There's no air marshals anymore get out of here. I like to think that there's one there though. I know well, that's the trick
Yeah, I feel safe. Yeah
They should have a combination the air marshal
Server like steward so that they can do both.
Like the person can give you the peanuts
and your thing is also heavily armed.
He's ready for anything.
Combination air-martial steward.
Heavily armed?
Yeah, that way you have three or four on every plane.
I think it's a good idea.
Yeah, why not?
They should.
Heavily armed.
Yeah.
Like deep undercover. Yeah
Hidden weapons everywhere serving you a coke
Oh, and you're a jack and coke knives in there. How about this ankle? How about this? I have a way to
reinvent this
You know, you have them pulling out a ninja star. Yes
You know when you sit down they ask like if you were ready to be like in the exit row
Yeah, how about if they just pull one passenger aside on each plane and hand them a gun selected at random
Are you ready to be an air marshal nothing more American?
Yeah, just hand a stranger a gun and a couple of knives to go in your socks. Yes like this Lucy
Are you ready to be an air marshal today more than anything? Oh, it would be great if it was a Nerf gun
That would make it even better
I'm reading that there are only air marshals on 1% of flights really that they still are in existence
But it's just impossible with over 44,000 commercial flights operating every day
It's just impossible for them to be how do they choose what flight? I don't know hmm think about how many videos we see of like horrible
Passengers don't you think an air marshal would have stepped in and be like, hey, girl,
you got to stop singing for everybody.
That has happened on a plane.
We should probably I don't want to.
I don't want to go to this because I'm enjoying the show today,
but we should probably get Greg's thoughts of the Super Bowl.
If you haven't.
And Kyle Shanahan hot seat.
Yeah.
That's funny.
This is probably not a revelation for me to be saying this, but I think there's no doubt now that the goat pen has opened for both Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid.
I think that win and the way they won it coming from behind four different times in the game and winning their
last three games as underdogs. I think that's cemented the status of both the coach and
the quarterback among the all-time greats. You know, for me, there's not just one goat
in a sport. It's a goat corral.
Right. A pen.
Yeah, a pen. And Mahomes, I feel, and Andy Reid,
both entered the pen of goats.
I think they both now can say,
we are elite, we are as good as they ever have been.
And especially Mahomes, 28 years old,
to have done what he done.
But not the head goat, they're just in the pen.
They're in the pen.
Yeah, they're in the pen.
I've heard a lot of people making the Mahomes comparison
of like he's entering that. I haven've heard a lot of people making the Mahomes comparison of like he's entering that.
I haven't heard a lot of people putting Andy Reed
up there with Belichick in that pen.
I think people are saying in this era,
he's the best going currently,
but you're one of the few people I've heard of like,
no, no, no, he's in the conversation now
with the all time great.
Well, he has three Super Bowls,
he's been to a bunch more.
The problem is he never won with the Eagles
and he hasn't won without Patrick Mahomes.
That's a problem for him. It's kind of like Belichick.
I mean, Belichick, many people consider him to be the greatest quarterback of all.
It doesn't sound like Belichick has a real problem in that.
Well, it's almost in reverse.
He does get criticized because Brady left and made it look so easy in Tampa Bay.
But now, right? Because that's the part that's interesting, is Andy Reid got to Superbowls
and didn't win them with the Eagles. But that's more success than Bill Belichick had at his
other stops in the NFL. And then Belichick was given the credit for creating Tom Brady for so long.
But then as more time went along, we were giving more and more credit to Brady. And so now Belichick
loses some of the shine. But with Andy Reid, the interesting part is,
he had some success at another franchise,
and now that he's blessed with one of the great
quarterbacks of all time, he goes to four out of
five Super Bowls and wins three of them.
So it's almost the anti-Belichick in terms of
the narrative, which is interesting.
You guys just made me realize that what Kyle Shanahan
is doing right now is what Andy Reid did in Philadelphia.
Yeah, exactly. So let's be careful here while we criticize Kyle Shanahan
as we praise a guy who is on the same exact path
that Kyle Shanahan, like it's almost impossible for us
to anoint Andy Reid if we're going to criticize Kyle Shanahan.
Well, why?
Because Kyle Shanahan is currently doing
what Andy Reid did in Philly.
Andy Reid had a McNabb. Andy Reed knew the rules.
That is an odd thing that people are misinterpreting. I'm not gonna let him slide on this. Kyle Shanahan, genius coach.
No, Chris, he had a 20. Use checks. The only guy I've heard that was like I was a little confused.
They were all confused. 28 to 3 offensive coordinator, okay? He had that lead. He blew it.
He had a 10 point lead against the Kansas City Chiefs. The first time they played him the Super Bowl He had that lead, he blew it. He had a 10 point lead against the Kansas City Chiefs.
The first time they played him
the Super Bowl in the fourth quarter, he blew it.
And then the head coach apparently did not know the rules
or he did not communicate those rules correctly to his team.
That is a terrible job by Kyle Shanahan.
He should be criticized today.
Mike McCarthy has had a better career than Kyle Shanahan.
Mike bleepin' McCarthy.
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Valentine's is officially here.
If you're still empty-handed, terrible job by you.
You should have done this earlier.
Now you've got hours, maybe minutes to get it together.
So head to 1800flowers.com right now.
1800Flowers has amazingly great last-minute
deals on sweets, treats, and beautiful roses and arrangements. This is your last chance
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go to 1800Flowers.com slash Dan. That's 1800Flowers.com slash Dan. Don Lebatard! Are you back on the caffeine? Are you back on the Red Bull? Yes.
We are! Something's wrong. I mean, it's unbelievable how manic he is and he sort of just he keeps, he keeps you know chewing on his bottom teeth in a way that's scaring me a little bit. Stugats. I've been up since 5.30 a.m. producing content.
And in terms of being able to be on, my body needs a little boost.
And that's why I turn to caffeine.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings.
Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings
and all it has to offer throughout the show.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
It's two gods.
I'd like to see guidance from you as an editor, program director on how to produce the best show.
I've got for you some juicy industry talk because things are elevated.
McAfee and Simmons are going at it.
Shannon Sharp and Mike Epps are going at it and
Everyone's seen what McAfee has done still guts the business of it business of it is fascinating right Shannon Sharp He's just gotten into the game bang because he saw what McAfee did and he's willing to work his ass off
Shaq is now sprucing up his podcast because he's like oh wait a minute
I fell behind there for a second and all these people with power can become the Kelsey's if you've got an entertaining brand and a
lot of fame and a following we're all our own brands now and the industry stuff
that's going on has it so that nick wright has zigged and zagged so much with the controversial
takes of LeBron's the greatest my home's is the greatest that he's at the top of the
game he's the face of fs one he's going to get all the money from there because Bayless is throwing out there today,
two days late. He's throwing out there. What if Kelsey were black? Wrong game. Bayless.
I was playing at 15 years ago. Keep up. We didn't even bother with that yesterday. AJ
Brown tried to drag us into his Tyreek Hill tried to drag us into it. We didn't even do
that. Do you want to talk industry or
I've got some bonus football thoughts that I think all of you are going to find interesting.
Wow. This is a tough choice, but since you're asking, I would say bonus football thoughts first and then we get to the industry.
Alright, so let me ask you this question. Because it's rare that you have bonus football thoughts.
Okay, alright, so let's see... You're always talking about the industry.
You're never talking about football.
All right.
Let's see if this is valuable to you.
This question I'm going to pose to you.
Can you ever have a historic one of the best ever defenses if your quarterback is Mahomes?
Because what the Chiefs just did, they ransacked the number one offense, the number two offense, the number four offense, and the number six offense.
No one's ever done that.
The Ravens of Ray Lewis did not do that.
They wrecked Rich Ganon, they broke his arm, and then they beat a 14 or 15
offensive team.
A defense has never done what the Chiefs just did in this postseason,
holding those four offenses to nothing in the second half.
So I ask you, if their quarterback had been Dilfer,
would be talking about them as the best defense
we've ever seen?
Well those teams, Trent Dilfer, the Ravens,
they get best defense that's ever played.
The Bears with Jim McMahon,
because they didn't have a great quarterback.
So it's actually a great question.
I'm trying to think of a team that had the great quarterback
and a great defense.
Jim McMahon for the 85 Bears
was not a great quarterback.
He was, I don't know.
That's what I'm saying, yes.
I don't know if you can have a historically great defense
if your quarterback's too good.
Kyle Shanahan, the way he decided
to not to take the ball first, he made it so.
If he would have done it the way everyone said
he should have done it, given the Chiefs the ball first,
then the defense of the Chiefs could have ended the game.
I feel like our narrative is more with Mahomes now because he was put in that spot where he needed to go first, then the defense of the Chiefs could have ended the game. I feel like our narrative is more with Mahomes now
because he was put in that spot
where he needed to go down, get the touchdown.
So we forget to your point Dan,
that this is a defensive lead team.
The defense was the best unit on that team
and we forget it because Mahomes-
I'm not saying defensive lead.
What I'm saying is history will forget
how great this defense is
because we're making it right now
and we're talking about Mahomes.
The story was Mahomes and Andy Reid.
It's because that overtime situation put Mahomes in the spot where he had to do the
thing.
And Kelsey, you want to show me something mutating fame into what Kelsey has mutated
it to?
Don't make it with a tight end.
Make it with a defense.
Good luck.
Make the defense that famous.
The interesting part would be if you look at the 2007 Patriots who went undefeated they only gave up more than 20 points five times that season but they had Tom
Brady and Randy Moss and so they're known for their offense but some of those Patriots teams led
by Belichick as a coordinator in some ways were led by how dominant their defense was especially
at the beginning of the Brady era. You have to have have a Ray Lewis But it's not just that because Ray Lewis went through I'm reminding you what those games were the Giants were a mediocre offense
Tennessee was a mediocre offense
Denver had a decent offense and Oakland had the MVP but Baltimore immediately injured the MVP of the league rich gannon
And so what the never had Peyton? Yes, right? Yeah, but a bad payton uh... i know is at the same time period i think
i don't i'd i'd never had a good offense
that year
but the reason i'm bringing it up is only because
what you just saw because the point totals in that uh... it was three ten
three and seven right that those ravens allowed
but the chiefs just did
less than that they weren't quite that good but against the
four of the six best best offenses in the sport
the other thing i wanted to ask you
did the chiefs lose a game after their temper tantrum meltdown
they complain about the officiating they that mohomes embarrassed himself was
that the game against the bills
that was that seems like a long time, but they were getting crushed in the media for melting down in an
embarrassing fashion because they were complaining about the officiating and Kelsey had the flip
back to Kaderi as Tony and they melted down and they were an embarrassment.
A champion never behaves that way during a regular season, correct?
Yes.
Did they lose after that?
They lost to the Raiders two weeks later. Right.
How do you how do you survive what that team was losing at home two weeks later and that game? I believe what was the score of that game? The Raiders 20 to 14. All right, because the the other standard my homes
I wanted to give you was he's played 96 games, okay and
three of them only three of them has he been
Finished the game down than more than one score. So basically every game he plays in he's in if you included the playoffs
It's four of a hundred and fourteen. He never loses by more than one score and it indicates to you that
He's always in the end of a game
And he's going to win some of them and lose some of them,
but they're never gonna lose by more than one score.
He's gonna win most of them, I mean.
I don't like what's happening here,
because you're putting us in a position
where we can't give one person or one side of the ball
all the credit for why it is that they're so great.
Well, he's just saying this defense
is going to get forgotten.
It is, because of Patrick Mahomes,
Kelsey and Andy Reed,, he's probably right.
Do you remember that the Chiefs used to be 30 points a game?
How many times, Jeremy, did the Chiefs used to be,
every time you knew bet over 28 and a half,
bet over 29 and a half, bet over 30 and a half
because they're gonna score four touchdowns in a field goal.
They only scored 30 points or more,
three times this entire season,
and the last time they did it
was a win against the Raiders in week 12
I'd be on I'd be interested to have an honest conversation with Chris Jones and like Trent McDuffie
Like do you think that there is actual any resentment or it's just like my homes is our goat
So I don't care who gets the credit were the champions like it would be funny to talk to them in a real like alone
I tried to go to I tried to go to Von Miller and others
to say, did Brock Osweiler give you some of his 50
millions contract that he got simply because you won
a couple of games being great at defense?
And no one would bite on it.
And Osweiler was the worst.
You could make the argument that Trent McDuffie
was better than Patrick Mahomes this season.
Dude, those corners for the Chiefs were elite.
You could probably make that argument.
And it's just so funny that nobody,
like everyone says Chris Jones, Mahal.
Like Chris Jones, I feel like at least gets a little bit.
Like those corners have to be like,
but I feel like they're not.
Like we're just doing the thing right now.
We're trying to split them apart.
I bet you Trent McDuffie has not had that thought in his head.
I know where Billy is going here and please say it's true.
Billy, go ahead.
You guys want the defense to then like come out
and say we carry Patrick Mahomes.
He's overrated.
It's what you guys are hoping.
Like an honest defense, it's like,
you know what, we can do this without Patrick Mahomes.
People are saying he's the greatest of all time.
We're carrying his ass.
Dead weight.
Listen.
Him and Kelsey, off season.
For most of the year, though, the Kansas City defense was getting full credit and most
of the credit because Patrick Mahomes, by his standards, had an off year.
He did not have a great season.
This defense will be forgotten outside of Kansas City.
Yes or no?
Forgotten.
I'm talking, history will forget this defense and that it was great because Mahomes won the playoffs
He went on the road and he won he won at the end of games Mahomes Mahomes Mahomes Mahomes
It is Mahomes Super Bowl in the end
Mahomes is justifiably getting all the credit. He won the last three games saying justifiably and I'm stopping you with this
Is one of the great defenses ever again
Yes, no defense has ever done this in a playoff run going to win the championship against four of the top six
Offenses in a modernized sport when the difference between the sixth offense and the 16th one is huge
We knew who the best offenses were in that sport and we saw all these guys ground to dust in the face of this defense,
including the MVP of the league.
That defense gave up 10 points to the MVP of the league
at home, the Ravens, who beat the 49ers 35 to 19.
I feel like this is similar to Brady, no?
Do we, Brady had some good defenses
and do we think back on any of those
as like defensive led superpowers?
My point to you is, if I could take any time in history
and show you a league MVP in his prime
who got 49 of 50 first place votes,
that person never gets stopped in the playoffs period.
That person never gets stopped at home period.
That person, that kind of MVP, that kind of greatness,
your defense has to match it with something that makes Lamar Jackson something to us
that was unrecognizable.
We did not recognize that defense did it to him.
What were we talking about?
Mahomes after the game.
He got him to 17 points.
Even though they didn't do anything in the second half.
It's funny back in 86, the Giants who had a great defense
went up against the Buffalo Bills who had a great offense.
The Giants won that game. The defense was not the story. Buffalo Bills, who had a great offense, the Giants won that game.
The defense was not the story.
It was, I'm telling you right now,
it was Phil Sims and it was Bill Parcells.
Oh, but that's a historic defense
that's remembered for all time.
Bill Parcells is a defensive coach
because he won with that quarterback.
Like, he became golden forever.
That's an all-time defense.
It is, but when I think back to the 86 Super Bowl,
it's not one of the first three things I think of.
It is Sims, it's Parcells, it's Whitney Houston.
Can I just, because we've been doing a lot of talking
about the Goats.
You may have been later, though.
Greatest coach in all this, Belichick, Andy Reed,
great defenses, all this stuff.
Can we just, you know, give a shout out to Chuck Null,
who has four Super Bowls,
has more than Andy Reed and no one is talking about
just being a great coach and a defensive coach.
A lot of people were defending Terry Bradshaw.
Has everyone rushed to talk about how Brady and Mahomes
are the best?
There it is, the Steel Curtain, that's the guy.
They had a great quarterback.
Well, he wasn't so great.
He had an average quarterback,
but we remember the defense.
But you also remember the quarterback.
Terry Bradshaw won five championships
and wasn't that good for that.
We always talk about Joe Namath being the most overrated quarterback in the
Hall of Fame. If you look at Terry Bradshaw's career statistics, not the
rings, the career statistics, they're terrible. Not real good. Don't do this.
Not really good. I'm gonna do it. Well the Steelers won all the championships then
because there was no free agency and they kept all their players. That's right.
The game changed after that. It's a ridiculous glitch in the system
They didn't lose any of their players who had no real freedom. I feel like we are gonna look back 20 years from now and be like
There was that one chiefs team that was carried by the defense
That's my wonder is if if my home way if what if my homes carries it with these
Offensive juggernauts
for the next several Super Bowls that he wins
and it's because there's 30 points per game being scored
and it's all about the offense,
I do wonder if we remember the one season
where it was carried by the defensive.
I'm never gonna forget the way Andy Reed
jumped on Chris Jones.
Like that is gonna just,
that will be the thing that I'll be like,
remember he jumped on Chris Jones and then awkwardly it's great I love it every time he gets
pushed over there it is we're celebrating Jossel all right I'm gonna get up
one two three four five and then the last hand right there careful
Jesus careful come on respect the defense let's all get together respect the defense respect the defense
Don lebatard kensley jansen I gotta be careful here. What I just do there
We start again still guts. He's the closer comes in ninth inning
Closes the game out. His name is Kenley Jansen
He has blamed his recent...
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
Pablo Torre finds out is climbing up the charts to God's I see him on the morning
Joe the morning Joe after the Super Bowl couldn't wait to talk to their good
friend Pablo Torre their their neighborhood sports friend.
He came over and he made himself very comfortable with his Super Bowl observation. So what are the
ones that you have that no one else has? Two days later as you come to this content trough,
what are your football thoughts that are more interesting than anyone else's football thoughts?
So first of all, I have realized that like my comfort zone is if there is at least one
70 year old or older person in the vicinity somewhere on television, that's just where
I shine I think.
I get to be younger, I get to be somehow presenting the internet in ways that they've never heard
before.
Shout out to Greg.
You're welcome.
The second thing is that I heard you guys as I was joining the Zoom talk about like what
you're gonna remember or not and my basic
Observation about all of this is that we're just trying to change the first sentence of our obituaries
Like we're never gonna remember anything past that we all get summarized and flatted into one thing and
Patrick Mahomes changed the first sentence of his obit. You know, we just don't give that grace. We don't
William Howard Taft, he is a president. Oh, hold on a second, go ahead and set the fat one
that did fit in the tub.
There it is.
Get the pretentious music though.
If he's gonna go the full name William Howard Taft,
you have to be ready with the pretentious music.
Come on, we gotta be quicker than this Billy.
Hold on a second, Hold on a second.
Billy's typing.
Billy's learning more.
Keep it moving.
No, no, no.
Don't keep it moving.
No, we're gonna stay right here.
We're gonna stay right here.
Yeah, sink into it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You were saying Taft said what?
So Billy actually got to the point I was trying to make in a beautiful way, because he said,
is that the fat guy who got stuck in the bathtub?
That is literally all we remember about this man, who was an actual president of the United
States.
And so everybody, when we're doing anything in life, just think about that.
In decades, no one's going to remember the second sentence.
All right, but Pablo, okay, that's nihilistic, yes.
Conan O'Brien recently walked over.
Nihilistic.
Conan O'Brien recently walked over a graveyard
and just muttered, when's the last time anyone talked
about Calvin Coolidge?
Yes, nobody cares.
After 100 years, everything dies.
That's not what we're asking you.
No, that is.
You're saying, what are my takes from the Super Bowl?
My take is Patrick Mahomes edited the first sentence of his obit.
Because his obit is now going to be greatest quarterback who ever lived.
And that is, I guess that's my take, that is the same as everyone's take, but I put it around some other stuff.
But you're using Taff, and that's how you make it different.
No, but still, God said, doesn't even agree with you. Like, what kind of take is that?
Mahomes is the greatest when still God's will tell you Brady won twice as But Stugotset doesn't even agree with you. Like what kind of take is that? Mahomes is the greatest when Stugots
will tell you Brady won twice as much and beat Mahomes.
Patrick, I mean, we're really gonna do this
where I have to argue that Patrick Mahomes
is the guy who has only lost one game in regulation
in the playoffs.
The other two were over times in the AFC title games.
He's the guy who has been to four Super Bowls
in six years, has won three of them.
Right, lost to Tom Brady.
As a matter of just percentage, Stu,
like you're taking this snapshot of right now
as if his career is done.
I am trying to, I didn't realize Nick Wright left
any stock for anyone else to buy,
but if I can buy any more Patrick Mahomes stock,
I would love that if that's what I'm being offered right now.
Well, let's go here for a second,
because guys, get that video of Nick Wright showing up to work yesterday because Nick Wright wins
I was so jealous of all he wins all the things and Fox pay that man
He's underpaid and he's gonna break all the contracts and he should when he he's made he's the face of your network
And I didn't know he had a truck that he drove this part is new to me
Yes, he shows up to work in a red suit chiefs red
Never a doubt to make fun
of those two guys he's carrying around
because he's the star of the proceedings.
Love you, Wilds.
He is killing the media game.
I wanted to talk to you about this.
How are you noticing everything that's happening
between McAfee and Simmons and Shannon Sharpe and Mike Epps
and JJ Radick and JJ Radick
because JJ Radick found a lane different from McAfee's to get some of the
stuff he wanted. Yes, am I noticing that we need to develop a better shtick? I am.
I'm realizing that my whole shtick has been thoughtful journalistic inquiries
that are smart and funny and I need to get myself into the driver's seat of a truck with my face on it. I don't think that's the way I'm
gonna get there, unfortunately. Yeah, I want that too.
I really do. Get on there. You deserve it. Yeah, thank you. How do you want a truck that brings you in?
Yes, and by the way, I can totally relate to what Pablo was saying about
changing the narrative and rewriting your own obituary.
My obituary now leads with lead singer of the He-Haul 3.
Yep.
So I get what Pablo was saying.
Does it?
No, wait a minute.
Are we willing to concede that?
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
Pablo, wait, Billy, Billy.
I know.
I was watching from home and I could not have been more impressed with Greg.
I don't even, I'm not kidding.
It was deeply impressive.
Yes. What Greg was doing.
It's clearly, yeah, first sentence, obit territory.
Thank you, Pablo.
I think he means it.
You believe you've erased a 50 year journalism career
with a week of drunken song?
Yeah, I wouldn't say erased,
I would say sort of demoted or set aside.
What about 50?
Fins at 50?
Fins at 50 is right.
The word below my owning 2% of a racehorse.
The word that got edited into Greg's first sentence of his obit, Dan, was crooner.
That word needs to be there.
It could be other stuff too, but the word crooner now officially has to be in the first
sentence.
Crooner.
I like the way Pablo thinks.
This guy is so Pablo finds out my favorite podcast.
Now I know why.
This guy.
Is it your favorite?
Well, second favorite other than the Greg Cody show.
What was the last episode?
Chris, how many has he heard?
Chris, how many has he heard?
Has he listened?
Does he know how to download Pablo Tory finds out?
Yes or no?
I don't know. I would take the under.
No, I click on Spotify.
Boom.
Which is your favorite episode?
Tell us one episode that you like.
There's been so many good ones.
I'm not going to take a quiz.
Seriously, I'm not going to take a quiz.
Trust me on that.
I'm not going to ask any follow-up questions.
Thank you.
I'm just going to take it at face value.
Why are you guys trying to fact check compliments?
Seriously, I don't inquire about
journalistically his compliments.
I will take all of the compliments
and go back around to it.
Because it's very sincere.
It's very sincere.
You disagree?
I particularly love the podcast he did
where he had me singing on his podcast.
What was that episode about?
It was like a Christmas episode or something.
What in the world? That kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, that's been a while. singing on his podcast. What was that episode about? It was like a Christmas episode or something.
What in the world?
That kind of thing.
Yeah, I mean, that's been a while.
It was exactly that kind of thing, actually,
in a couple of months.
Whether Greg meets it sincerely or not,
if Pablo's joy is sincere, then who's to say Greg's common
isn't?
Correct.
Billy's nailed it.
Now I feel sad.
Billy, coming to my assistance there,
did make me feel a little bit sad.
Pablo's right.
Can you tell me as quickly as you can your most fascinating thoughts on Joelle and Bede,
because I thought we were headed toward this being the story of his lifetime.
It's an amazing, amazing achievement that he happens to be physically like five players ever.
They just all happen to play against him
Yes, he was having I just want this to be recorded for posterity
When the rubble is dug out they find this tape that verifies that Joellen B. Was having the greatest season in NBA history
Until the thing that happened to him that always happens to him happened to him him. And the first sentence of the obit
lands this thing that I'm trying to brand as I guess my way of talking about sports,
Joel's is heartbreaking. He is everything that Victor Wimbanyama is supposed to become,
guy who's gained weight, who can shoot threes, who can play defense, who can shift the game,
whenever he steps on the floor. All of that was true as of this season, as of this regular season. But because the human body is, in his case, a
deeply frail and deeply unreliable meat sack that betrays him, whenever good
things happen, the first sentence of his obit is going to be that this man, whose
entire career was supposed to save the city of Philadelphia,
became a metaphor for why that city cannot have nice things.
And that to me sucks, man. I just want him to be...
I want him to be on the floor, just doing cool things.
And he's become a metaphor for the process in ways that are legitimately painful to me
We have not talked yet about Wemba Nyama last night anywhere on the show make what you will of these numbers because
Ten blocks. He's now doing the triple double with blocks. He's not playing that many minutes
He's ten of fourteen from the field and you make what of him distorting basketball that way
It's just hard not to see him through the lens of injury.
Right?
That's the MB'd thing has made me like a wounded rescue animal
where I don't trust this stuff
because these people don't make sense, Dan.
There's something to the idea of like,
the aliens are among us and they're dominating the game and everything's different now and
Eat it Bob Coosie
Somewhere Bob Coosie is thinking to himself. That's why they don't make people that big and so I hope we get more of this
It's ridiculous. I hope he gets to be as good one day as Joel and bead has been before he got hurt, but
Every second of these people's careers
got hurt but every second of these people's careers turns out to be a fleeting gift a gift that we should appreciate because it's miraculous that
they're even doing it right now. If I may hear Pablo when you say a precious gift
and when Nick Wright dominates the game by having the controversial stands of
I'm pro LeBron James and I am
it's an incredible scam pro Patrick Mahomes it is isn't it right but the
thing that I would say here's the best part of the scam to me Pablo I think we
all watched the Super Bowl yesterday I don't know how many people take
inventory of Sunday Sunday excuse me thank you Stu guys yes Vegas that the
San Francisco 49ers have gone longer
without winning a Super Bowl than the Dallas Cowboys that the Miami Dolphins go an entire
quarter century without being able to win a playoff game.
That's not just that Mahomes wins it's that the way that we talk about sports these days
forgets how hard it's f**king is to win.
Like the 49ers haven't won a title since 95.
The Cowboys have won more recently
and we've been laughing at them for 25 years.
Like, do you get how hard it is
to do what Mahomes has just done?
No, the distortion of Patrick Mahomes
is that he has turned the most random game
into one that we can take now for granted, seemingly.
That's the best comparison to Brady, right? Is right is that the look my take on football for the
medley is that the ball is oblong what does this mean it means that it's meant
to bounce in unpredictable ways that you cannot possibly control it's meant to
break your heart if you're a dolphin's fan or certainly a cowboys fan and
Patrick Holmes has been so good that he is distorting the complexity of football by making it feel
very simple.
And that again, first paragraph, first sentence of the obit sort of thing that he's doing
is he made football look easy.
Football, the hardest, most random sport he made predictable.
And it makes all of us honestly a look it makes us
just look stupid for letting Nick Wright somehow trumpet this as if he is a
prophet as opposed to the one guy who got there first to say yeah he's just
one of those Tom Brady characters once in a generation Pablo thank you for
being on with us I do want to throne I Get that thrown. I know. God, it is amazing.
Gold in it.
His hair, by the way, his hair,
he's getting away with his,
the things that Nick Wright is getting away with
because of LeBron, James and Patrick Mahomes,
it's a staggering list and his hair is foremost among it.
Thrift store Jesus, he is, look at him.
He is a wizard who has hit hard times
and he's crushing, he is crushing the meaning.
Doesn't look like hard times.