The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The Requirements to be Florida Man

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Scott Van Pelt joins the show to a VERY kind introduction from Dan to give his thoughts on the NBA Finals, break down the LIV Golf and PGA, and more. Then, Brockmire is back with us to discuss Dan's a...ttire, the Trump indictment, the NBA Finals, and the incredible run of the Oakland A's. Plus, Amin is doing his best Benoit Blanc as a scandal has broken out at Meadowlark Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunluba Tarshou with the Stugat Spatcast. One of the few people anywhere in the industry that when I see his face I am made happy He has earned it at ESPN and he has done it his way in a way that's really cool And he's carved out his own space where he gets to have his life in Washington and it's not great hours For somebody who is a star in our industry But he has moved his life around so that he can occupy a space in sports where he's got an hour at the end of your night that still matters that you know is going to be crafted and well done by a generally likeable person in a climate that is so polarizing that none of the people talking
Starting point is 00:00:57 about sports on television get to be like what a kind introduction by you perhaps the kindest introduction I've ever heard for you I really respect this guy's work that he's navigated the labyrinth and that he's nice to people. He is not horrible to co-workers and he is not threatened by co-workers in the vanity business. So Scott Van Pelt, we welcome you in. He's the Midnight Sports Center. It's his. It's a space that he dominates and he does it extraordinarily well. So thank you for being on with us I I don't think that anything I said is untrue. I think I've got it all right. Yes I mean you're asking me to agree to an incredibly kind thing. I'm horrible at taking compliments
Starting point is 00:01:37 I do that self-deprecating things sincerely. I just I find it easier to deflect and to say thanks So I'll just say thanks because that was very nice. Does everyone like you? It was what Dan is doing. No, absolutely not. You take pride in the way that you do your job still. You care deeply about what it is you're doing. You're never mailing it in.
Starting point is 00:01:56 You're, no, you couldn't. You couldn't. If you're just sitting out there by yourself and you just stop paying attention or caring, it would be real evidence. But you know what? I thought about this the other day, Dan. Driving home after, particularly after Denver won, where you talked to Malone and you talked
Starting point is 00:02:13 to Jamal Murray, you talked to Jeff Green. God, that was so cool. There's a guy, 15 years, 11 teams and it's landing in his lap that he's won. And he literally just said, I would like to go now because he was the enormity of a person in the moment of their greatest professional achievement and you get to share that with him. I wish there were a better word than cool
Starting point is 00:02:37 but that's just a really cool thing and we get to do that. And look, there's some nights that just hurt some nights but nights like that are really fun. I was stunned and don't think it can be covered enough that the MVP of the league. Yes, great for Murray, fun. You know, you've got Gordon running around the streets of Denver enjoying it with the fans, but the MVP is telling you everybody hates their job. Don't they? It's the most interesting thing I've ever heard you'll get to say. I've never seen a true superstar on the certainly not on the NBA stage, Dan.
Starting point is 00:03:11 The didn't at least kind of like the icing a little bit, right? Let me put my finger in the ice. Just wanted to taste like doesn't care. And you can't, that can't be performative either. He sincerely doesn't give a crap about any of the ancillary. He just wants to go back to Serbia and see his horse And he means that and he's brilliant on in a way really no one's ever been I find that I fly that fascinating
Starting point is 00:03:34 You can find it fascinating, but it's not charming and I mean I'm not sure it's good for your sport Like I'm not sure that having a guy that joy list about like welcome to the party pal No, but no his game is wonderful to got. I don't think his game is boring or garbage. My claim. But I don't think that he's terribly interested in sharing the joy with the customer. Like the customer is feeling like the customer is more joyous than the guy who's winning the MVP. Yeah, Scott, the thing I said is part of the job,
Starting point is 00:04:07 and there have been recent superstars that try to stew this part of the job. Quite Leonard is a great example. Yochitch is a new example, but part of the job is selling the game. Like you do that when you're, you're not just, oh, I play basketball and that's it. I don't have any other responsibilities outside of it. And so when Yochitch takes something that the league promotes as this is our biggest event, this is the most important thing.
Starting point is 00:04:31 This is what all these people are killing themselves over. And he's like, oh, whatever. Like, he's lessening the importance of it, much like music artists who say, I'm not going to the Grammys. They make the Grammys into something that's not that important for people to pay attention to. The difference is, the Grammys are subjective,
Starting point is 00:04:49 whereas the NBA Championship is objective. That's the objective, both in the sense of that, it's not according to opinion, but also objective in terms of, that's the objective of everybody working in this business. So I think he does the league in the game of disservice when he plays that I'm too cool for this or I'm not interested in that. That's a really and that's an interesting way. I mean to frame it because the
Starting point is 00:05:12 Grammys are the MVP right and he didn't care about that either and he didn't care about the voting but then when you win the chip which is the prize that everyone's participating for and you don't have joy in that. I hadn't really considered that. Maybe it's funny slash funny the first time, but then if it happened again and it was, you know, he reaches the dirt digler phase of Boogie Night's where he gets the trophy and just goes, thanks. I mean, there needs to maybe be some joy in the achievement. I really hadn't considered that.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Scott, the live PGA merger is fascinating. You and I love the sport. Let's just put aside because we know no one likes where the money is coming from, okay? But Phil's initial reason for joining live was because some of the things that were happening on the PGA toward did not sit well with him. You know, the money wasn't enough, the name and likeness,
Starting point is 00:06:04 the ability to sell their social media. A lot of the stuff that he was fighting for, he turned out to be right because the PGA cave, it's interesting, right? Well, what is often the only thing that's understood in a negotiation is a loaded weapon. Live was that. And the PGA tour responded almost immediately to all of the very pointed criticisms that those that went to live made, and suddenly they found millions under couch cushions. But what's interesting to got is that this war chest, if you will, that the tour had
Starting point is 00:06:43 was short-term. Their burn rate was way too high. And I mean, when Rory essentially said, look, you can't go toe to toe with people who have a bottomless well of money. You're never going to be able to compete. And it seems that's what happened. There's still so much that's totally unknown about it. And you've got the government saying they'd like to look into it.
Starting point is 00:07:02 I don't honestly have any clue what will happen ultimately other than that what once was as related to that game that sport won't ever be again as it was constructed. Does it bother you? Like how often do you get personally offended by things happening around the sports you love? I'm I'm pretty pragmatic and I think I'm pretty much an adult about when it comes to money, that if we're looking under the microscope or under the black light for the clean money, I don't know that it exists necessarily. Maybe I'm wrong, but no, not really. I just, I don't know, I've never had a nine-figure decision to make in my life and I have a hard time judging those that do. I understand you can say, hey look this is there's some there's some real atrocities here and that's that's accurate I just don't I don't know if with a hundred million dollars before me I don't know what I do so no I it doesn't
Starting point is 00:07:59 it doesn't bother me just because I think I'm just honest with myself about it do you feel that Jay Monahan's credibility has been permanently damaged and is that going to impact the way that you cover him and the story going forward? No doubt. No, I mean, again, I think just because my answer to that would be the same as my answer to Dan. I don't know how you can't just take the facts in front of you. He said, he said you can't take the money to players that were on the PGA tour.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And then he took the money and he went on with Jim Nance and Canada last year and talked about 9-11. And then, and he said, he said it as much as he said. I know I'll be seen as a hypocrite. Well, yeah, because that's hypocritical. So I immediately said that because I believe that's what it is. Now, again, I want to be clear. I don't know what I don't know about this. And so I'd love to know what are you exactly doing?
Starting point is 00:08:55 What will this look like so that I can be fair? I mean, I think being fair is important. And it's hard to know what to say about something when I have absolutely no clue What is there beyond what has been reported Scott beyond the money that they're gonna be making out of this deal How much of this or what are the positives for the game and for the fans of golf? Oh, they're gonna grow the game of me They're gonna grow the game. That's the biggest nonsense.
Starting point is 00:09:25 What the hell does that mean? What are you growing? I mean, you're gonna happen, so you're gonna go have a tournament and do buy or Portland, Oregon or wherever you have a tournament and suddenly, oh, you know what, let's see, some guys sitting around going,
Starting point is 00:09:38 you know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna play some golf today. They're growing it. I honestly, I think it's more fun when the, as it will be this week in LA. When you get the best players in the sport together, that's what's fun. When you have a fractured sort of deal where a number of the best players here are a number of the best players there, it would be like if they were competing league for the NBA and you just didn't see,
Starting point is 00:10:05 you didn't get to see Jimmy Butler and Nicola Yoke share the floor. Well, now you're going to get to see that more. It's not an apples to apples comparison, obviously an individual sport, but my sense is just if you enjoy that sport, seeing the best play more than less is the win. So basically back to where it was before Liv Golf existed. Essentially, and just everybody will be, everybody will be obscenely compensated because there's this fun that that that truly has limitless resources to give them the money that I guess you listen.
Starting point is 00:10:36 When you look at NBA super max, like it doesn't trouble me if a bunch of guys playing golf get to get eight figure nine figure deals either. Scott, I love that the best golfer in the world, at least of the majors is a guy who is going to Panthers game, who is drinking with the Panthers, who really doesn't care that much about golfer working that hard. And he's headed, you know, into the US open with a chance to win his third. And not many people, as you know, have won the PGA in the US open three times a piece. Does Kevga have a chance at Jack Nicholas? Do you think he has a chance? No, I think that's a bridge too far. Really?
Starting point is 00:11:13 No. Well, to get to 18? Yeah, I mean, hey, look, I started covering Tiger a hundred years ago when he was, you know, 21 and he wanted a gust. And he just brooks his older and he's coming off significant injury. I mean, if you ask me double digits, I'd buy that. He's demonstrated that when he's healthy, he's absolutely as good as anyone. And he does have a pretty well-rounded sort of view of what I mean hopefully all of us look at our jobs and we take them seriously but do they matter that much in the grand scheme
Starting point is 00:11:51 is opposed to other stuff you'd like to do. Capcus, Capcus wants to go to sports do his thing and he wants to play in the majors that matter. That's what he cares about. He doesn't care about the rest of them. He really doesn't and he doesn't seem to be real pro one Tourer another either. He's pretty pro Brooks and I think they gave him an opportunity to wave that flag after the PGA championship He just didn't care either did least didn't seem to I should say
Starting point is 00:12:16 He's a bad-ass player when he's healthy and he is again. We are out of time unfortunately the US open is this weekend and I failed to ask Van Pelt about his voice just totally giving out on air. Man I should have a las partes. A raíz, bluque, a raíz. Escuchéis lo que escuchéis, tapados los ojos. La calle vamos todos a cieras, pero lo más aterrador es no saber en qué confiar. Uy de las personas que os piden que mireis, si queréis seguir convido. Birdbox Barcelona, estreno en Netflix el 14 de julio. Te atreves a ver. the 14th of July. Te atreves a ver. Dan Levatard. At the end of our conversation with Alex Smith,
Starting point is 00:13:09 and we talked for about 30 minutes, but I feel like nobody is gonna remember anything about that conversation other than how you fell flat at the end with your very last word. Listen to how Stugots here at the end of this interview says goodbye just exhausted to Alex Smith. That's Stugats. What happened?
Starting point is 00:13:35 Alex? I'm dead. I'm exhausted. I haven't stopped talking in a month. I mean, I don't know to tell you. This is the Don Lebertar show with the Stugats. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Stugats just got done saying to me.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Just glanced up at a television and said, no one in sports media looks more wiped out than Brian Windhorse. Put it on the pole, please. Juju at Levitard show. Does anyone in media right now sports media look more wiped out than Brian Windhorse? This guy always looks clean and ready. Even though he's irresponsible and often unprofessional and smells like booze, he always seems like
Starting point is 00:14:17 he smells good as well. Jim Brockmeyer here for his weekly hit. I am very happy to have you here as always, Brockmeyer. Thank you for making the time, the last few times. You've been very mean to me to start the segment. So let's get that out of the way now, I suppose. Do you have something else for me? Because you've been pretty mean.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Well, I'll try not to be as mean to you as you were just to windhorst. Amazing that you guys are pointing out somebody else's appearance. I mean, holy cow. Wow. First of all, a little disclaimer. I'm slightly more lit up than usual. I missed time the segment. This is usually my second. I'm on this my third. So, you know, I'm playing a little game today. If I mess up because of, you know, if I trip over words, because of my, an ebriation level, I'm gonna do a shot. I'm gonna play like a reverse.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Okay. Yeah, all right. Every time I mess up a new shot. All right, so Sam, I think it'll go well. I think it'll go well. That's Sazer Ike again. Yes, Sazer Ike, of course. Okay, heavy, heavy boozing for this time of the day.
Starting point is 00:15:19 All right. No, this is light stuff. I got a lot of ice in it. Come on. Okay, very good. Third one. It cuts it. So yeah, I love our time together, Dan Levitard. I just wanna lot of ice in it. Okay. Very good. All right. Third one cuts it. So yeah, I love our time together. Dan Leviton is want to say that off the bat. I banter.
Starting point is 00:15:29 You're very good natured. You're good sport. I get to be the Don Rickles to your, well, I can't say Johnny Carson, even in jazz, because that's the way beyond your talent level. No insult there, really. No, no, no. I'm just keeping it real. Keeping it a hundred is a kid like to say. Don Rick will see a Tom Snyder maybe. Remember Tom's, is anybody, well, there you at all,
Starting point is 00:15:54 you got a photo of him. That's Tom Snyder. Google everybody, just Google Don Rickles. Google Johnny Carson kids. And Google Tom Snyder, there he is. I'll wait while you look, you look at all these men are more talented than Dan Leviton. I agree. And it's time Snyder is you because he was just basically a haircut with teeth. And you really you can't compete with his hair either, Dan Leviton.
Starting point is 00:16:17 You're a hair. Dan, let's talk about your hair. We're not talking about your hair. Let's say that you wear that children's impulse by a hat, simply because it's an improvement of what's underneath. But you know what, your teeth are not bad. Those bad boys are painted white professionally. So kudos on your teeth, Dan. How about that? I'll leave you a little compliment.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Yeah, barely a compliment. Anything for my outfit while you're at it? Because I dressed up for you today. I put on a golf shirt. That's dressed up. That's an outfit. That's what I'm looking at. The swath of fabric that you rolled into
Starting point is 00:16:51 while getting out of bed. You know, honestly, honestly, everything you wear looks like you threw it on at 6am to grab a package off the porch. What kind of, that's the kind of fashion joy make. That Mike. It's like you want to be seen for only seconds, but you choose to live your entire life dress like that. I have to point out to you again, we all can see you. If you're getting abandoned, the very concept of presentability, let's at least pixelate
Starting point is 00:17:21 you on the interlate like you're in Japanese porn or something Like a mass a little cloudy squares to hide that We as a society have agreed as much too shameful to witness this fall on any hoodels Or your outfit Digression you know what I love about Japanese porn Come on, I got I got a I know that usually whatever follows that sentence is gonna get you fired, but I'm pretty confident I can land this plane, all right?
Starting point is 00:17:50 Please, I want to express this. Here's what I love about Japanese porn. It shows real tangible nationwide commitment to subways and mass transit. It's always on, subways and mass transit, which is something that we are gonna need in order to create a green Sustainable future because American porn is always on bang buses Yeah, as you will know you Dan you know that intimately. I mean seems to know it
Starting point is 00:18:22 Exactly, thank you. And they're not even buses that just vans really and that terrible gas mileage. So we have to do better with the same side. All right, very good. Can we stop? There was one mistake. That's a society.
Starting point is 00:18:34 All right, I got to a shot. All right, do the shot there. You said interwebs or internet, you got that, you stumbled through it, we'll let that one go. A shot of, you think I didn't know, I'm gonna give myself just a one shot of it. All right, a shot of what is it? Is it Sazrack or something else?
Starting point is 00:18:46 Is it you're just drinking Sazarack on top of a Sazarack? I got the Sazarack is the is the Cadillac of the Mercedes of BMW. All right, can you please stop talking about porn? Sure. Why are you very touchy? What's what's what's it approved? I know I think I know why you're cranky, Mr. Fuddy, Dutty. How are things down there in Miami? Because gee, I'm from Rackin' My Brain. Has a city ever lost two different championships
Starting point is 00:19:12 and back-to-back nights? I don't know. I imagine it's just devastation across the entire region, just dead nightlife and clubs and restaurants closed so many people in morning. I mean the hardcore fans down there they have been following these teams probably since the beginning of May. I mean six whole weeks that's the new love phase. It's very hard when something so fresh and new for people it's just
Starting point is 00:19:41 snuffed out so unceremonically and so quickly. You're trying to kick us while we're down. That's what you're trying to do. Well, I'm trying, but nobody's ever really down in Miami. Come on, y'all have the weather, you got the beach, you got the food, you got the drugs, you got the sheer level of attractiveness of your entire citizenry, present company excluded,
Starting point is 00:20:02 of course, mostly. I can see, Dan, why you have turned Miami into your fife dome because it's just paradise. But there can be no pleasure without consequence, right? Without sacrifice, which is why Miami is also a magnet for the most insane bullshit that could ever be forced to wade through. I mean, just yesterday, the traveling Trump carnival rolled into town, just down the road for me, all, is that right? That is correct.
Starting point is 00:20:30 You must have thoughts on the freak show that is always trailing Trump. Wow, yeah, it's worse than a freak show is a big compliment. There's like a low rent carnival. It's a geek show, it's like geek, they're like a geek show, the kind of costume folks who will excitedly
Starting point is 00:20:47 Bite off the heads of chickens just so long as they're imagining the birds to be members of a persecuted minority Or the like or the capital police. I guess I either one you know, I just nightmare clowns from a rob zombie movie I think these people worship of all people Trump. They worship Trump then. It was basically an elderly, open mic comedian in the out of boroughs doing bad racist improv into whatever microphone will have them. I mean, it would be really stupid.
Starting point is 00:21:16 But was it also the greatest threat to American democracy perhaps ever? Yeah. You know what? Two things can be true at once. Let's be mature here. Two things can be true at once. Let's be mature here. Two things can be true. So it's incredibly stupid, and it's the greatest threat to market bureaucracy.
Starting point is 00:21:30 And what are your thoughts on the charges? You think these are going to be the charges that stick or what? Well, let's analyze. Let's go to the tape. They have him on tape, basically saying, uh, folks, I'm committing a crime right now. Folks crime committing it. Or more accurately, uh, folks are about to show you would not have been a crime when I was president. But now I'm not president.
Starting point is 00:21:57 It is a crime to possess this and to show it to the folks. Is that not do you not think that I'm cool? Folks cool me cool. I mean unbelievably pathetic waving around nuclear secrets to impress the likes of Antonio Sabato Jr. That's what he did. Remember the days when we all thought that Trump was stupid like a fox that he was playing five dimensional chess turns out the guy can't even play Connect 4, okay? Diagonal Confusism keeps getting distracted trying to put the little tokens in by shoving satellite photos of America's secret military installations into our face.
Starting point is 00:22:37 But will he be convicted? That was the question. That was the question I asked you to ask. No is the answer. No chance because he is right about one thing. Two systems of justice in this country. He belongs to the one where if you're rich enough, you can buy your way out of consequence. Because you can't pull 12 St. Americans in Florida to serve on a jury. I'm saying 10 to 2, mistrile.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Whenever this thing wraps up, yes. Excuse me. But I have a very important question, about this whole thing for you, Dan, since you are my local Florida expert. Does this story, this alleged, alleged, alleged alleged crime and all its headlines, does it officially turn Donald Trump, the famous New Yorker, into Florida man?
Starting point is 00:23:23 Is he Florida man? Oh, that's a good question. Florida man is always the most famous of the criminals in the headlines that have perpetual weirdness in them. So yeah, I think that's a pretty good, I don't know whether he goes from New York to Florida, but he is a Florida man in spirit.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Well, let's reason through this, because to me, to be Florida man requires three things, okay? First, you need an Incredible newspaper headline one that really commands your attention with its gobsmacking ridiculous criminality So I would say that ex-President steals state secrets and hides them in his guess shitter that quantifies his number one So check on that One down. Second, crime itself has to be unbelievably
Starting point is 00:24:08 stupid. No, so he's got this one handly. In the indictment, one of his lawyers says, Trump at. I got to tell you, I got to drink a little toast. It's great and it's terrible. You're nothing to be funnier than the actual reality of it. So in the indictment, one of his lawyers said that Trump asked him, asked the lawyer to steal a classified document by silently making a grabbing gesture. What's known as a yank, that's the yank. He tried to get his old lawyer to commit a felony
Starting point is 00:24:41 through a game of sherees, amazingly stupid, double check, discount double check. Okay. Lastly, and here comes the tough one. To be the far to man, the story has to involve an alligator somehow. Gotta be an alligator. Oh, see, that's where your theory falls apart.
Starting point is 00:24:57 No alligators yesterday when Mike Ryan was close to being tear-guessed. I know. I know. You know what though it's so close the stupid son of a bitch got it on something idiotic with gators around at one point i'm gonna google trump
Starting point is 00:25:13 dumb and gator alligator uh... right away there we go twenty nineteen i'm a quote here okay it is a real story new york times new york times i swear privately the press I'm a quote here. Okay. Okay. This is a real story. Okay. New York Times.
Starting point is 00:25:26 New York Times. I swear privately, the president has often talked about fortifying a border wall with a water filled trench, stocked with alligators, broken age to seek a cost estimate. Okay. That's a real story from the time. That's real. It's real. Trump. He's Florida man man Trump is Florida man. All right change all those headlines just to Trump
Starting point is 00:25:49 Brockmeier stay there. I want to talk sports with you. I want to talk some basketball and some baseball with you Stay there. We're gonna come back with you after this. I just saw the headline. Yeah, it's alright Don't live a tart again started on the breakfast one. Oh, man I've been singing the song to myself one morning long. Breakfast line, dun dun dun dun. Stoo gotch! You never heard the breakfast line song? No, him and me with it. Okay, I wish I had some breakfast line, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun breakfast like that. This is the Don Lebertar Show with this two cats.
Starting point is 00:26:30 I mean what were you laughing about and why did you just mutter during the break? Shoot migrant legs. Is that what the phrase I just heard you mutter into the microphone when we were off air? This is the New York Times the paper of record The headline is shoot migress legs build alligator moat behind Trump's ideas for border I thought I thought Brock my was just a drunk. No, no he he comes with accurate information again two things can't be true I am a drunk and that is real Your thoughts on the NBA Finals? Surely you have some thoughts because I couldn't even get you last week to talk about baseball
Starting point is 00:27:09 because you wouldn't shut up about basketball. Yeah, you know, I love the NBA Finals. Some like Ryan yesterday, though, blaming the gentleman's sweep on referee Tony Brothers, Ryan. Well, as if Miami didn't get any calls in this series, one of the last plays of the game was Aaron Gordon getting called for a three shot foul for having the audacity, the gumption
Starting point is 00:27:32 to get ticked in the nuts by Jimmy Butler. That's true. After all that, Ryan is, you're still playing the ref card, huh? Yep, he is. His balls have been Jimmy a spot to land. Oh, yeah, good point. Very good point. But I call given Jimmy a spot to land. Oh, yeah, good point. Very good point. But I call that hogwash poppy cock and cod swallow.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Oh, really? Oh, yeah, cod swallow. Really? In that order. Because the nuggets were flat out better. And to prove it, you know what, I'm going to back this up. I'd like to use my favorite analytical stat. You kids, you love the analytics.
Starting point is 00:28:03 OK, here's the stat you can always rely on. It's called wins and losses. That's it. Those numbers, boy, they generally help show you which are the better teams. Yeah, that's true. Last 10 games, Miami, each record was three wins and seven losses.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Follow the numbers here. Okay, not too good. All right. Hard to accomplish for a team that makes it to the fight. It really is, actually. I mean, remarkable in its wretchedness. Now, let's look at the nuggets record over the last 10 games.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Nine, I said 10 games. Here's to you. It's 10 games, not 10 games. That's right. Not 10 games. Last 10 games. Nine and one. Yeah, one team was out over its skis with its white
Starting point is 00:28:47 hot shooting and came back down to the other. Historically great seems that way to me. And they're just getting started. That is accurate. And they're just getting started because of Yokech. You're as flabbergasted by him as the rest of us are correct. Yeah. I mean, it's not just because I'm pretty drunk, which I am, but he's just amazing. I just, I love him. I mean, when your most talented player is also your most unselfish player, that's when you win in basketball. His teammates just fly around knowing they know that their effort is going to be rewarded with the ball. How many superstars can you say that about?
Starting point is 00:29:23 Only the thing more remarkable than his amazing performance to win the Championship was his complete lack of interest in celebrating was amazing. It literally is I want to go home. I just want to go home. Why? You know why because he loves his horses so God damn right. I'm about to have correct. What's with these like a 12 year old girl who hasn't stole all day drawing in her journal? I have a theory on that. I think I know why. Because when you're the biggest thing any way you've ever gone, sometimes it's nice to feel small, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Carrying your family, your country, your franchise, and your class said franchise, not franchise. We gotta do franchise. That's it. Not another shot, Brock Mark, come on. No, it helps, it helps. It doesn't help, you're getting worse. It doesn't help.
Starting point is 00:30:10 You're carrying all these things included you're adopted home. Sometimes you just want something to carry you, don't you? Cause strong men, they need to feel supported too. Dan, you know what I'm talking about, you're a big strong fella, You got a lot on your shoulders. Sure you gone into a pool with a lady friend. Maybe you're a good lady wife at some point
Starting point is 00:30:29 and just hugged on her for a while. You know, you used the lack of gravity in the water. Let her fully support your full-mouly weight. Bollyweight. It's not right. Right away. That's not right. You're getting drunker, please.
Starting point is 00:30:42 That was the shot. That was just the sip of your sand. I'm not a shot. I only land up three I'm back to the mother ship back to motion, but then you know I seriously you want to feel the safety and the protection that you haven't known since you were child I mean, I know that admitted you done that you've been in the pool with your good lady wife and she held you It's gravity like that like that. Yeah, thank you horribly dressed Teddy baby. Yes. Thank you The lack of gravity where yeah, where my shirt in the pool as well. Can we get to baseball? Please please? Sure
Starting point is 00:31:16 We're supposed to have a segment with you. It's supposed to be I know you got a minute last a baseball segment Last week you called it ball for one minute Yes, give me 60 seconds to summarize an entire week of the greatest game ever invented. Yes one minute of baseball One minute that basketball is over football yet to begin with the only game in town now Have you gotten to the NBA draft at the beginning of NFL training camp? It's like nine days here where sports fans have to pay attention to it. You have to. It's 30 seconds. No choice.
Starting point is 00:31:47 You're down the 30 seconds now. Okay. Okay. Oakland days. Oakland days. I highlighted them last week for their income. Seven game winning streak since you... Seven at all.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Seven that you ripped them. Yes. Longest winning streak in baseball. And just last night, the Oakland fans through a reverse boycott. Where they drew the biggest crowd of a year yet, together and fight for their aides by leading chance directed at owner John Fisher to sail the team.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Sail that was beautiful thing, watching them shout out their love with their community and their game. We gotta go, we gotta go, Brock Miley, we're at time's up, we gotta get outta here with you enough, enough. I, well, I'm not even as lit as I usually get. Next week, we'll talk to you again next week.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Sure, as long as the checks keep clearing, which they have, or until you start showing up to work and at like a dirty loose robe, which at this rate will probably be by August, right? Thank you, Brockmeyer. Good talking to you. Good seeing you again. We will talk to you again next week. Enjoy the drinks. School. School.
Starting point is 00:32:45 School. Yeah, see, it's just hammered beyond all reason here. Thank you for being on with us. No, no, you're not going to be in about 15 seconds because of the Sazrack. A mean told me during the break, and I don't know what the truth is here because he didn't give me any more information. He just told me there's a huge scandal at Metal Arc Media and I don't know what the scandal
Starting point is 00:33:09 is at Metal Arc Media. Does anyone else know because it seems like the entire room is looking confused? Have you told anybody? No, this is going to be a knives out situation, Dan. Where someone here has committed a crime. Wow. Billy is yawning openly in your face, just not interested in any way in what you're alleging
Starting point is 00:33:30 about scandals, suspect number one. I've never heard you call anything around here a scandal. Are you a detective? Like are you solving this crime? Or are you just identified it? Because we have a detective in Tony that already works here. And he has never lost a case.
Starting point is 00:33:45 We could share the role of him. You know what? Typically I would involve Tony, but I don't know Tony's in on it too. Wow. Wow. I'm Daniel Craig right now and all of you, all of y'all are suspects of my book. Because last week I had a beautiful slice of flound in the fridge with my name on it that bound the way to disappear and to thin air. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this then. We'll start with Billy.
Starting point is 00:34:16 He doesn't seem like you're hot light of interrogation is phasing him in any way. That is a rude thing by the way. There are any number of rude things that happen about here. I was embarrassed that Mike had to put in the slack the other day. Hey, guys, put the toilet seat down. I almost fell in. Seems like a lot of people didn't get the message. No, I almost fell in. I literally was a centimeter from ass touching water. Sorry. A centimeter. We live with untrained Wolverines. and the idea that you would put something in the office fridge with my name in it. You wrote your name on it? You know what? That's unforgivable.
Starting point is 00:34:52 I started to write just the initial A on it. That should be enough. I said, no, no, no, let me make it clear. It's flon and it has my name on it. But you left it here, man. For breakfast. For breakfast. I do a whole bit stew got's called breakfast flan I came in I put it in the fridge I said this will be great for tomorrow
Starting point is 00:35:11 morning when I'm parked walked in tomorrow morning no flan wait you wait so this has been ongoing for a week well I have to leave I don't know if you know this I have to go cover this thing after a week you're all is a yeah you should purge some stuff after a week. Because, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I discovered it was missing last week, but I discovered it after hours, and then I had to leave.
Starting point is 00:35:34 So I could not, I had no outlet to scream. You couldn't confront the criminal. Exactly. So it was there for a day is what you're saying. Exactly. And so within a day it disappeared. Yes. I mean, I saw said breakfast flung.
Starting point is 00:35:48 I opened the fridge, I usually do it around 11.30, try to see what's in there. I was like, ooh, it means breakfast flung nice. Well, why are you looking to see what's in there if you don't have anything in there? Because there's something for every, just poking around. There's stuff that doesn't have people's names on it.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Exactly. That's where things get confusing, because it makes me not want to bring things in and the fear that someone will drink or eat my thing that I've brought in for me. Allow me to demonstrate for you why you should have that fear. Someone ate my breakfast on!
Starting point is 00:36:17 I mean, I have a solution to your problem. I'm working on a very serious true crime series for metal-arc media in production right now about who stole the fine bucket money. Wow. And I think that we may have a side quest because this could be demonstrating a pattern of thievery. It could be the same thief,
Starting point is 00:36:35 someone who indiscriminately steals cash and breakfast flops. While I admire your ambitions, I do declare that my flaw should take part. I'm born in porn, I'm born in leghorn, all of a sudden I do declare my my flaws should take part in horn leg horn. All of a sudden I do declare my I should take priority when it comes to the focus of the investigation and hey, now I have a mean tried to exploit these crimes in the opposite way. Like for example, I brought in a six pack of
Starting point is 00:37:03 Mountain Dew pitch black, because I didn't necessarily love it, and I said, I'm not gonna keep this six pack in my house. You brought us your trash, but I brought it and I put it in the fridge, and I thought someone might enjoy this, and I just left it there, and there's still three, which means two people have had, which is great,
Starting point is 00:37:17 because that was a donation to the community. Also, after my daughter's birthday party, I brought all of the leftover cake, all of everything, and I just left it there. I'm like, someone will eat this. So I've kind of made this my own personal. Your treating our fridge as your garbage. Well, no, they're donations, I'm making donations.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Now, we lost power that day, so the cake did sit in the heat, in the darkness for like two days, so I don't know what happened to it. I mean, do you have a chief culprit? Well, I'll tell you what, look. What was that? Tell me anything.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Oh, it's talking to Michelle. Sasha Malia, and I gotta say, this, why is he here? What are you, why is he here? Why is he here? What's that, is that his name? Why is he here? Well, because sometimes then you need a presidential
Starting point is 00:37:59 kind of approach to discovery. Who's betrayed the betrayed the the union this union has been betrayed this is an office crime of the highest order i would say stealing somebody i think i was still money then no but i would say that this is even more personal this is because that was community money this was a justice breakfast like you put something a fridge you expect that your colleagues and friends are not gonna steal it.
Starting point is 00:38:26 But my name on it. One is stealing, one is genuinely against the law, the other, it's breaking the unwritten rules as well. Did you check? And that's not okay. All the shelves? Maybe it's still there. It's not Blake's fault, that's what I did check.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Why are you doing a Doc Rivers in Britain? I just want my breakfast. I just want my breakfast. a Doc Rivers in person. I just want my breakfast for long.

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