The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Tony Tunite + PTFO + Oddball
Episode Date: March 22, 2024Tony, Billy and Luis hit a legendary Miami spot to do some shopping. Plus, It’s been years since these three friends (Pablo, Katie, and Amin) saw each other, in person. Or even virtually. And so it ...is our distinct pleasure to relive Amin’s most recent global viral humiliation, which now comes with important religious context. ALSO: Crazy Puffs and hand abstinence. The Timberwolves may have as much drama as Minnesota has lakes after a Timberwolves employee was fired, arrested and charged with felony third-degree burglary for allegedly stealing thousands of internal files and Oddball's Charlotte and Amin go over the latest updates just one day after Alex Rodriguez and Marc Lore's bid to acquire majority control looked to be in shambles. Plus, Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla is just the kind of "oddball" we love over here at... well, you get it. Mazzulla wouldn't reveal who gave him the directive to stop weirdly trying to block opponents' shots during dead-ball situations but added, "I don't think it's a rule, but I'm sure it will be in the next 24-48 hours." Then, Amin and Charlotte decide what's more embarrassing and defeating for players in the NBA: being beaten with rude cockiness or getting killed with kindness? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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All right, so guys, we live in an amazing city. And it it's true it's the best city on the face
of the planet and we have a lot of like weird things about our city that make it beautiful
Jess is like a new resident to the city there's a lot of things that we've showed you there's
a lot of things that you've learned on your own about Miami.
Rock and rib rolls.
My girl.
So what I did is I teamed up with some of the people around here and made something that I'm very proud of it's
Called Tony tonight, and we're gonna go to different places around Miami and just kind of give you what the feel is for these places
Because there's a lot of places that you've heard of a lot of places that you haven't heard of that are off the beaten path
That you would never know if you're not from here. You wouldn't know about there's even people in these studios that don't know what?
I'm about to show them.
So I'm really excited.
This is the debut episode of Tony Tonight.
Let's go see the real Miami, my Miami, let's go.
Calito, let's go. You know we're in Miami because it was just sunny and now there's gale force winds and
it's absolutely pouring.
We're in the entrance of Hialeah, one of the most important Cuban cities in all of the
world, the highest population of Cubans outside of Cuba.
And if you're from Miami, you know, you want good drivers, you're not going to find them here. You want affordable housing you're not going to
find it here. You want people that speak English you're not going to find it here. This is the
entrance to it by the way. All right we're still here in Hialeah but we're at a very special place
it's called Ñoke barato which in Spanish literally translates to damn that's cheap and if you look
around you find everything here. We've got a pharmacy back here.
You can find socks, you can find clothes.
There's batacasas, we'll get to that soon.
There's statues back here.
There's things for parties.
Where else can you find a place that can give you a shirt
for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim,
if that's what they're still called.
And the Texas Rangers, one fan, two teams.
I love that.
You can find everything here.
And by the way, I brought a friend, Billy Gill.
Look at this guy.
Ooh, you like the Giants?
I do, I'll take that.
They're all the same color though.
Do you like the Rockies?
I do, okay.
Ooh.
Do you like the Iowa Hawkeyes?
How did something from Iowa make its way to Hialeah?
Can anybody explain that to me?
This place is awesome.
What Cuban thought, you know what we'll do to sell? We'll sell an Iowa Hawkeyes jersey in the heart to Hialeah. Can anybody explain that to me? This place is awesome. What Cuban thought, you know what we'll do to sell?
We'll sell an Iowa Hawkeyes jersey in the heart of Hialeah.
Jay Hawks.
Rock Chalk.
This is incredible.
Let's go find some more stuff.
Here's the plan.
Me and you, we're gonna go our separate ways.
We're gonna find the most Cuban thing we can
in Mihoquebarato.
Go our separate ways, come back,
find it and then show it to each other.
And race?
You wanna race?
No.
Okay, then let's take our time.
Okay.
Go Los Vagos.
Calito, vamos.
Let's start off here.
Hola, que tal?
Hola.
Batacasa is like a house dress for ladies,
for older women.
So anytime you go to anybody's grandma's house,
you'll see them wearing this.
This is gonna get paid for by the company
so we can get anything we want. A pair of big ass hidey-whities. Okay.
Shark fishing shirt right? This I just like. Do you like white or do you think
we should get yellow? Let's get yellow. Yo, what are you doing here? Miami heat. You need a
360 brim brother. This is a seashell toilet seat. Look at that. This guy's
working on a farm dude dude. I love that.
But not Cuban enough.
Your kid wants to be a chef?
We got it.
A little businessman, a little meter hosen?
He's got it.
Garfield travel tissue.
We even have the medieval sweatsuit.
Oh!
Not Cuban.
When you have the Cuban link chain
with the sanláncero piece on it,
with the huge buckle,
that's how you know it's fire.
Oh, hey.
Atué, Indian chief of the Taino people of Cuba,
and Atué Ring.
That's super fire.
I feel pressure now.
This is an authentic Domino table you can find.
There's one of these in the front
that has an 18-wheeler on it.
This thing is heavy, dude, that's how you know it's good.
But it's kind of heavy, so I'm not gonna take that.
139 bucks,ño, que varado. I like these.
I missed 2019. This is a Cuba baseball jersey. This is double. This is double
points. Me and Luis are gonna go over and find what Billy has.
Bro I really like the waffle cone. And these are worn with shorts. Yes.
These are not worn with pants.
And with no socks.
Somebody's wearing that to a family barbecue.
You got two like linen shirts.
This is like the Jerry Seinfeld, like the blouse,
but like the Cuban version of it.
That is, that is.
Philly, what'd you get?
Wow.
Cuba baseball jersey.
Is this official?
Is that an official authentic jersey?
Yeah, the letters come off of it.
Can't wash it.
I got a shark shirt.
That's one of the things that I got too.
Somebody would be wearing this on the boat.
100%.
Both days.
Big chill, someone in the Keys.
Your uncle's wearing this and not wearing any sunscreen
because he's wearing this.
It would be cliche for me to say the cigar table,
even though that's an amazing one.
There was one with an 18-wheeler on it, which is great.
You want me to go get it?
I can get the 18-wheeler.
I'll get the 18-wheeler.
You're so strong.
Thank you.
All right, boys.
This is the 18-wheeler one.
Oh yeah.
And the beautiful thing about this is that
this is such Cuban culture.
Cubans love ratarán.
They love 18-wheelers and taking, hauling.
Do you love 18-wheelers?
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's three out of three.
Love 18-wheelers. Do you love 18 wheelers? Yeah. Thank you. That's three out of three. Love 18 wheelers.
Thank you for watching Tony tonight. Tony, we got to get you into every weird nook and cranny of
Miami. Jessica, were you jealous that you were not allowed to go along and get some knickknacks for
three dollars that you'd never usually want. It's my fault though.
So you're not jealous? You're not jealous that you weren't invited on the excursion?
Well she's to blame.
I would have liked for you guys to see a Nyoke Barato together. It's an American,
it's an iconic American institution.
Good thing is it's still standing down and will be to the end of time. Nothing can stop it from
existing. So we'll take Jess there one day.
Hell yeah. Racking stop it from existing. So we'll take just there one day Oh, yeah back in River Rolls after
Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan
It's springtime and while every time is a good time for Miller Lite
Springtime is among the best
I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom and some beautiful birds swimming from royal fishtail palm
To royal fishtail Palm and I
had a Miller Lite in my hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life.
Over the years a lot has changed.
One thing that hasn't, the great taste of Miller Lite.
It was the original Lite beer and to this day is still the very best one.
Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't.
Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me. I thank the heavens for you every time I'm sitting
on my back patio and I take a sip. Ah, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to
your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.
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Don Lebatard.
Amino acid.
Stugatz.
Amino acid.
This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.
So the reason I brought Amin here to New York City, to this table, was not to talk about
what I think we have to talk about in the course of talking about the thing I wanted to talk to him about.
That's a lot of talking.
Because I mean, everything that's been happening to you this week, you're a viral internet celebrity, which we'll get to. I want to bury that lead because actually what I wanted to talk to you about is Rabadon.
is Ramadan because I feel like I don't appreciate
what it is that you and lots of athletes, let alone gas bags are doing right now.
So can you give us like a Ramadan for dummies?
Is that a thing you can help me with?
I've done this every year since the pandemic.
I do a little, I had a video that I did during the pandemic
and I always post it at the beginning of Ramadan,
but I'll give you guys a spiel.
30 days, sun up to sundown, every single day,
you can't eat, you can't drink, you can't smoke,
you can't ingest anything,
you can't engage in any sexual acts,
and you, which is this, that's just the physical part,
but the mental part is, you have to be kind of a nicer,
better version of yourself.
So.
That's your challenge.
That is a huge, honest to God,
that is the hardest part for me.
It's just to keep my mind pure
and not to be kind of reactive.
And especially as that's, you know, when you're hungry,
your nerves get on more on edge a lot easier.
Which I've learned from marriage.
And Snickers commercials.
There you go, exactly.
That's right.
But yeah, so the idea is you do this for 30 days
and it is meant to do a lot of things.
One thing, it forces you to focus
and be a better version of yourself.
Another thing is it puts yourself in the shoes
of the less fortunate people who can't get something
to eat whenever they want or can't get something
to drink whenever they want.
But are allowed to be assholes if they want to.
Yeah, I mean, yes.
But that's because that's a 365.
The way I was talking to Byron was one of the guys
who works here.
And I was telling him, my philosophy is for 335 days
a year, I'm a piece of shit.
So for these 30 days, I try to be
like what I should be every day, but I'm not.
So it is what it is, but it is an interesting thing
because as you go through it, you meet different people
and you're like, oh, you're fasting,
you're Muslim or whatever.
And that is a cool feeling when you discover,
oh, someone else is going through this same
shared experience.
Right, I realized as I was sipping my cold brew and oat milk.
So this is a great segue to the number one thing.
Like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Are we cartoon stakes to you, Amin, on the desert island of Ramadan?
Did all you see a literal tall glass of water?
When the sun goes down, you can...
You can eat, yes, and drink.
And so...
And sex.
And you sex.
Which is the best time probably, I'd argue, to do that.
So sex, this is the funny part.
So sex, yes, if you're married, right?
Because that's the rule in general, 365, right?
You're not supposed to have premarital sex,
you're not supposed to have extramarital sex.
So for some people, they just go letter of the law,
like can't have sex during the day,
during the night, I can't have sex.
I'm of the belief that like, yo,
I'm trying to do everything right,
so I don't do anything sexual in nature for 30 days.
Not even.
Even a solo act.
Not even solo acts.
All right.
Well.
Yeah.
So you're...
And then you have to wake up and be nice.
And then I gotta wake up and be nice.
For 29 more days.
That's wild.
How far into it are we now currently?
This is day nine.
My goodness.
So we just finished week one.
Yesterday was eight days, you know, the first Monday after the first Monday we started,
and I have dropped six pounds in a week.
It's just like my Invisalign.
We're on the same journey.
You and I are not so different.
What, when it comes to, again, the thing that I go to,
which is like, what are you craving the most?
Does that change over the course of these weeks?
So it's weird because for the most part,
I don't get hungry.
I really don't get hungry.
I do get thirsty, especially when it's in the summer months.
And given what I do for a living, I talk all day.
So thirst does become an issue at some point.
But for the most part, I don't get those cravings.
But the weirdest thing, like I'll be watching TV
and then a Red Robin commercial will come on.
I'm like, oh my god.
And I've never wanted to go to Red Robin. I've never demanded to go to Red Robin. But a Red Robin commercial will come on. I'm like, oh my god. And I've never wanted to go to Red Robin.
I've never demanded to go to Red Robin.
But a Red Robin commercial will come on, and I'll go crazy.
There's this new thing that Little Caesars has.
I don't know if you guys have seen them.
They're like these mini pizza puffs or whatever.
They're supposed to be the new, like the Popeye's
chicken sandwich craze of 2024.
And I'm looking at them.
Yeah, I'm looking these up.
And I'm like, oh my god. I just want like a full tray of them
and just open my mouth like a Pelican
and just take it into my gullet.
Of course.
We're gonna somehow Photoshop Pelican Amin
guzzling Little Caesar's crazy puffs.
Crazy puffs.
Oh man, what a name.
What a name.
So one thing that I have come to understand also
is Ramadan is not the same month every year.
Yeah.
And so where does, I guess, April rank
in your power rankings of months for Ramadan to happen at?
This is, now we're going,
we are steadily heading towards
the better part of the calendar.
So it moves back 10 days every year
because it's on the lunar calendar.
So every year it's 10 days earlier
than it was the year before.
Oh wait, it's March.
Yeah, or March.
Well, it'll end in April.
But then next year it'll be mostly in March
and then the year after that it'll be February.
So like the number one seed is December, January time
because it's just like short days, cold weather.
But, well I guess you don't celebrate Christmas Oh, it's by the way one of the most
We need idiot one of the most eat some more crazy puffs you
Know it is weird because I look at Christmas as the biggest inconvenience in the world for you guys
I don't care. I get this like a day off. I just have fun whatever and just hang out
But for people who celebrate it,
oh, I gotta get, what kind of Christmas gift?
Oh, I gotta get, oh, I gotta get,
oh, the milk and the cookies for Santa.
That is what we sing.
Oh, I gotta get for Christmas.
Oh, boy.
I wonder what this is.
Oh, it's socks and a tie again.
Like, I don't have to go through any of that,
and it's so freeing.
That's nice.
Can I ask you, if somebody wants to,
if somebody has that urge to say happy Ramadan,
what is the way to say that?
Well, happy Ramadan works.
It does?
Yes, believe it or not.
Ramadan Kareem is like if you wanna get real,
like oh, I'm sophisticated.
Yeah, Ramadan Kareem.
Yeah, Ramadan Kareem, that's an easy one.
Ramadan Mubarak is another one.
Those are the three main ones.
What's Eid Mubarak?
What's that for?
Eid.
Eid is the festival at the end of it.
Got it.
When it's done.
Let's talk about the end of it.
Yeah.
Is there like a traditional food that is eaten at the meal,
the way that turkeys at Thanksgiving?
How do you celebrate finally getting to do
the stuff you couldn't do?
So the day after Ramadan,
the day after the last day of Ramadan is Eid,
and you start out, first of all,
it's very important, like religiously,
they're like, you have to eat when you wake up,
because you have to signify, I'm not fasting anymore.
So you can't be like, ah, I'll get to,
you know, I've got a busy day, I'll eat at one o'clock.
No, like you gotta wake up and start eating
just to say, hey, yep, it's done.
Then there's a big prayer.
If I'm pretty sure whatever major American city you live in,
you're gonna be driving by a convention center
or maybe it's a park because the weather's nice in April,
and you're just gonna see hundreds of cars
and a bunch of people.
And it's like, what's going on?
It's the eight prayer that all the mosques going to see hundreds of cars and a bunch of people. And it's like, what's going on?
It's the eight prayer that all the mosques will get together
and they'll put it on like the convention center
or Central Park or whatever, whatever city you're in.
And then you do this for like three days.
You're supposed to go visit family
and everyone rejoices and all that.
For me, I probably get through like day one
and then we're back to normal.
Yeah, you're basically just masturbating continuously.
While eating a pizza.
It sounds impossible to me. I've been like sipping pathetically now.
Two different beverages by the way.
You are brunching.
At the same time, I'm watching someone like Kyrie Irving do this.
Looking into Irving. Irving do this. Looking in for Irving.
Irving for the win!
Oh my, oh my!
A self-pump finish from Kyrie Irving!
Just absurd!
Just like one of the greatest game winners of all time,
Lefty, if you haven't seen it, you were missing out on just a remarkable thing to do
while not having eaten or drank anything.
So bears noting, that game was a matinee game.
So he played the entirety of that game
without drinking or power bar or anything like that.
He was just going off of whatever he had the night before.
This all helps inform in a real way
what I had been imagining it was like to be you
while Kyrie Irving was doing that.
Kate, are you familiar?
You're familiar with it.
With what happened. Are you on the internet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It came across my, I didn't dig
because I figured I'd be getting the firsthand account.
But for people who maybe missed it. This happened. And the thing
about this jump shot is it's confusing because the setup and the beginning of it looks like
the jump shot gonna be normal. Okay, frame by frame, the dribble looks normal. The knee
bend look normal. The form right through here is normal. The elbows have a little wild, but that's fine. And then the follow through, it all goes to hell.
Everything goes to hell.
Amin is my guy.
Adopted him up in Vegas.
Cool guy.
I don't care.
Not today.
He missed this shot so badly.
I don't want you to miss your shot to see me live.
Kev on Stage of Friends is a live stream comedy show.
Nice.
Really good.
Don't miss your show.
Really good. Damn it, Kev on Stage of Friends. It's a live stream comedy show. Nice, really good. Really good.
Damn it, Kev.
Amin was such a meme that people were advertising
their comedy shows on the back of videos of Amin doing,
I don't even know where that was.
What should we know about the context of what visually
is hard to describe any better than Kev on stage,
that comedian apparently just did? So, shout out to Kev on stage, that comedian, apparently, just did.
So, shout out to Kev, that's my guy,
but I told him I've always wanted to collaborate with you,
it was an honor to do so now.
It was, this was in Dallas on Saturday, that's the irony.
It's not just that, it's like me and Kyrie the same weekend,
same, like back to back days.
I was on Saturday, he was on Sunday.
He was like, I gotta improve the perception of Islam in America right now. I like to think of it as like, huh, I like that.
I think I could take something from that and do something with it. No, so Saturday I was in Dallas
for Athletes Unlimited. That's the women's professional league. They actually do it in
multiple sports, but obviously this was a basketball one. It's a really cool concept, to be honest with you,
because they've kind of NASCARized basketball.
In other words, you're in teams,
but the teams don't really matter.
It's all about the individuals,
and you get points for your team wins,
you get points for winning quarters,
but you also get points for your individual stats,
and at the end you have a leaderboard,
and that's how you figure out who won the league.
And you can only make left turns.
Thanks.
All right, so.
Don't miss your chance to see me live.
So I was invited to do,
to participate in the celebrity game, which was cool,
because it was a very cool event.
The game went off without a hitch.
That's from before the game while I'm warming up.
And I was shooting from that spot.
And I had made a couple in a row,
and sitting behind me, Miles Elric,
who I had met, but like, a kind of friend of a friend.
He was with a couple friends of mine,
Christine Williams and Tareka Foster-Brasby,
who used to work with us at USFAM.
Sat up to both of them.
They do a great job covering women's hoops.
So they're all sitting together courtside
and they're behind me and I'm making these,
I don't know of anything, I'm just doing my thing.
And so Tyler tells me, or Miles tells me,
you had made a couple, I said, oh, this is cool,
let me get my phone out and start recording.
And so the first one he records is that shot.
And he's like, oh, this is even better.
And he posts it right then and there,
but I don't know this.
So I go, I play in this game and it's fun.
You played an entire game without knowing.
No clue.
I didn't look at my phone the whole time.
So after the game, you know,
we take pictures and everything.
And so I go up to Christine and Tariqa,
I'm like, hey, what are you guys doing after this? I think we're gonna get something to eat, whatever. And Miles looks at me, he's like, we're gonna play the game. You know, we take pictures and everything. And so I go up to Christine and Tariq,
I'm like, hey, what are you guys doing after this?
I think we're gonna get something to eat, whatever.
And Miles looks at me, he's like,
you haven't looked at your phone, have you?
I'm like, no, what's up?
And he says, oh man, I posted something.
And I'm like, oh, so watch this.
During the game, like in the fourth quarter,
there's a moment where we're making this comeback.
We're like a couple buckets down.
We get a stop. My man, man Merrix passes me the ball up court
and I know I have one person to beat,
so I'm like, let me just check where they are.
I don't catch the ball, it goes out of bounds.
Turnover, I was crushed, I was like,
I felt like I left the team down or whatever.
I thought that was what they posted.
Like, oh, look at me, not even be able to catch a ball.
And he was like, no, it wasn't that.
I'm like, what was it?
So I pull up the video.
Oh, well, first of all, I open my phone, my buddy Wells, Wells ball. And he was like, nah, it wasn't that. I'm like, what was it? So I pull up the video.
Oh, well, first of all, I open my phone.
My buddy Wells, Wells P, shout out Wells P,
says, my brother in Christ, what is going on here?
And I'm like, oh, okay, what's happening?
Hold on.
So then I look at my Twitter mentions and I see the video.
And the first thing I actually pay attention to
is the back of my head and how the hair
is filled in very nicely.
And then, oh man, the medication's working.
And I was like, oh, this is awesome.
Thanks, Hymns.
This is going well so far.
Let's see what people are saying.
Then the video repeats, and then I see, like, oh my god.
It's the worst one ever, right?
It is, for the record, bad to the point where,
and I have to-
Where comedians are, you know...
I just have to quote our friend Sue Bird.
Oh, no! Sue Bird saw it!
Dude, everybody saw it!
It went to the point where Sue texted me,
I have to know, included the video of a mean shot,
and her question was this real question mark.
Like it's AI, she thought it was AI
Because the hands
Or so like or so
Deliberately terrible yeah that this was a bit which to be fair
I thought when I saw American Ninja Warrior, I was like is a bit right check this out
All right, you got to be an athlete. You know what I mean?
And I mean wasn't that he tried to get the rope and went down.
I gotta say that looked like a Shaquille O'Neal free throw.
That was just ugly.
This is the thing with Amin.
You never know.
Is that Amin has a skill,
and I'm gonna say skill actually.
100% skill.
He's a skill at being somehow wildly globally viral
for doing something
that seems so athletically inept
that it feels like it was on purpose.
Yeah.
It's funny because I think my skill is
letting the joke be the joke.
And if I'm the joke, then I'm gonna laugh.
And so I think a lot of people-
I haven't seen you laugh yet, I don't think.
Oh, no, I mean, like my Twitter timeline is me retweeting all the funniest things
that people have said, because it was legitimately funny.
But to that point, right?
Like part of me was like, when I saw this, Katie, I was like,
I mean, gave in to too soon.
Like there, if you if you were if Amin was not somebody
who already had the previous experience of like, I know how to deal with this.
I'm going to race car metaphor. I'm gonna race car metaphor. I'm
gonna turn into the skid. Yeah. Right. I'm gonna instead of
that form a war room of advisors. Okay. Like this thing
has just happened. I'm seeing for the first time. Pablo,
Katie, what should I do here? What would you have advised me?
Retire. I am. Katie, I haven't played since like 27 years ago.
Go into hiding.
I did retire.
Oh, what are you doing?
What?
Oh, I thought you were taking off a ring again.
No, no, God, no, I didn't.
I don't have a ring.
I'm very single.
No, I think you did the right thing.
I would have done that.
I think I would have been upset.
I know you would have done differently.
What would you have done, Pablo?
I think I would have concocted some story.
I would have said to me, you are now going to lean in.
What you're gonna do, you're gonna tape another video
and it's gonna be you with a newspaper
from the day before, just gotta find a newspaper.
You're gonna say, I'm going to troll America
into thinking this is what my jump shot looks like.
Oh, that's actually a pretty good idea.
So are you saying you do have a good jump shot
that just was one bad shot and it was the only shot they got on camera
Is that the story that's not the story? That's what happened
It's not a story and do you have video of you doing any of the good ones from that game? No, no
Yeah, I mean look
Everyone's showing up with a team of like
these celebrity games, right? Why don't you have a seat?
That everyone's showing up with a team
of dedicated shooters who are documenting their every move.
And I was just like, I just showed up to play basketball.
So now I'm seeing everyone post stuff,
and they've got all these highlights and stuff like that,
and I'm like, yeah, I don't have any of that
because I don't have anyone who's following me.
There's just one video that one person took at that moment.
And what are the odds that the one video that one person took at that moment. And what are the odds that the one video
that one person took at that one moment
is the one that you look like you don't know
how to play basketball?
No, as Kevon Stage said, it looks like he does until.
Until the end.
Yeah, he's not wrong.
Looks exactly correct until it looks exactly.
I was like, oh, this is gonna be normal.
But this is why I didn't feel like I had to defend myself.
So I think what we want though,
what Katie is trying to frost Nixon you into telling us
is we understand the context now of your fasting
and your psychology and your physiology.
What is responsible for the way that your hand looks?
The simple answer is the ball slipped.
It's very light because it's a women's ball.
I'm not used to you playing with a women's ball.
Oh, it's our fault.
Oh.
It's the ball's fault.
No, but the reality is, man.
The ball did lie.
It slipped, man.
It slipped and I tried to get it back
and then it didn't work and that was it.
The reality is, and this is when Katie says,
oh, what are the odds?
Like, this is why I don't feel the need
to really defend my shooting form.
Because, yes, I haven't played in like six or seven years.
But prior to that, I used to play pickup ball all the time.
And media games.
Media games.
And prior to that, when I worked for the Suns,
I played pickup games with staff,
with coaches, with players sometimes.
So I have no shortage of people,
including by the way, we saw him earlier on the thing,
Andrew Schultz, one of the biggest roast comedians there is.
You think I hooped with Andrew Schultz
and he knew that about my jump shot
and has kept it a secret all these years
because he wouldn't go that far, right?
I mean, like it just, it doesn't-
I can vouch for the fact that no one,
it's not a running joke that a mean shoots a basketball
like what you saw in the video.
That is not a thing.
I've been around many people who played
in these games with the mean.
What I'm here to say though, is that the way
that you must have processed that,
having now learned about how Ramadan is a season
in which you are trying to be open-minded and,
and full of goodwill and
sheer.
It feels like truly a test that I would have made up in a screenplay about how it means
Ramadan might be going right now.
No, you know what it is?
It is definitely like the comeuppance of the bad guy, right?
For sure.
Because the funniest thing to me, Katie, isn't the jokes, the jokes are hilarious,
but the funniest thing are like the people
who are legitimately angry.
Like, oh, you guys mean to tell me this guy, da da da da,
and there's this one guy, and bless his heart,
I don't think he meant poorly,
but I think he's connected in some way to Zion Williamson,
because he's had his New Orleans in his thing,
and his whatever, and like his first thing's like,
this guy made fun of Zion Williams
just wait for how long and da da da.
And I was like, hey buddy, first of all, yeah.
Actually my first response was like, yeah, you're right.
Let's go get that.
Right?
Because what am I supposed to say?
Yeah, I did something that's ridiculous.
Ridicule me for sure.
Just like Zion being out of shape was ridiculous.
So I ridiculed him.
We're going to cook up at the end of this segment now,
a whole Amin Highlight reel with like,
dramatic, soaring music,
all about what we found footage-wise that makes the case.
Oh. Yeah.
It's still weird finger stuff. It's a lab.
It's a lab.
I had to put English on it.
I have mangled hands.
Your hands are mangled.
Which is funny because my left hand...
Let's be real about it, Beads Hands, for those not watching on YouTube.
My left hand, I've been told I could be a hand model.
And a foot model.
Excuse me, you could book hand jobs.
Not this month.
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Dan LeBattard.
Again started on the Breakfast Flawn.
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No, hit me with it.
Okay.
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This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats.
Welcome to Oddball.
I'm Amino Hassan in New York City with the one and only
Charlotte Wilder.
First Charlotte.
Oh my god. Minnesota, the land of 1 Charlotte Wilder. First Charlotte, oh my God.
Minnesota, the land of a thousand lakes,
or 10,000 lakes and 10,000 news stories this week.
This is a gift that keeps on giving.
Oh man, I hope it never ends.
I hope we get something else tomorrow.
So we did a whole thing about how their financing
for Mark Laurie and Alex Rodriguez to buy the team
had fallen through because the league had rejected them
because of some stuff that was in conflict
with their institutional yada yada yadas.
Nobody cares, right?
We did a fun.
Well, we do care a little bit.
We're a little nosy.
We wanna know what that Carlisle group was up to
that meant that they couldn't buy an NBA team.
So if anybody has any intel, hit us up.
One 800 odd ball.
Somehow, I don't think we have an email
for the show, but let us.
One 800 odd ball. Yeah. But so here's what happened though, right? So Mark Laurie, Alex Rodriguez, until hit us up. Somehow I don't think we have an email for the show, but let us. 1-800-ODD-VOL.
But so here's what happened though, right?
So Mark Laurie, Alex Rodriguez,
they have until the end of the month
to secure the financing or else the deal falls through.
Well, guess what, Charlotte?
What?
They already found more financing.
That's how rich people do.
Rich people do things when they want to.
Understand?
They just have like so many other rich people around.
Can you imagine?
I'm trying to buy something and I'm like, oh darn, my $300 million deal fell through
and then in 24 hours I'm like, oh that's okay, I found another $300 million.
Some other banker was like, no it's cool, I got it.
After we did a deep expose on the leadership team of the Carlisle group who were rejecting
me out of here, they found a new company to get with.
Dial Group.
Dial, like the soap?
Well, no, actually, because Carlyle is spelled in this case.
Like with Carlyle, right?
I don't know how to use it.
L-I-S-L-E?
No, absolutely not.
Oh, no.
C-A-R-L-Y-L-E.
That's preposterous.
Yeah, a lot of Ys and Ls going on,
which you'd say, why does that matter?
It matters because dial capital has now bought them D Y A L.
So A-Rod is really good at getting hundreds of millions of dollars from
groups that have Y's and L's in close proximity in their name.
So I was like, what is the deal with Dial Capital? I mean, Dial Capital, from a
little bit of Googling, is one of those companies where you're like, is this even real? Like, I know
it's real. It is real. This is a legitimate deal. I'm not questioning that. I am. Amin is. But it's
one of those things where it's like you click to find out about Dile and it takes you to a group called Blue Owl.
And then you try to find out about Blue Owl
and you end up on like Number, like I don't even,
so here's the Wikipedia for Blue Owl Capital.
Okay.
In December 2020, it was announced
that there would be a merger
between Owl Rock Capital Group
and Dile Capital Partners.
That's my favorite genre of music by the way, Owl Rock. Owl Rock Capital Group and Dial Capital Partners. That's my favorite genre of music, by the way, Owl Rock.
Owl Rock.
You know, has famous bands like The Who.
Stop it.
There it is, and it's gone, ladies and gentlemen.
A home run.
I'm both angry that you said that
and mad that I didn't think of it.
Okay, anyway, then they merged with Altamar Acquisition Group to form Blue Owl and then
it was completed as Blue Owl but then Blue Owl acquired Oak Street and what I have taken
away is that a lot of investment firms, private equity, whatever this is, I don't know, I'm
not a doctor.
Okay.
They use like nature language.
It's like Blue Owl, Oak Road, Oak Street,
like, you know, Seafoam Partners.
Oh yeah, I like that.
You want to start a private equity firm with me?
Yeah, I do. What should we call it?
We gotta have more L's and Y's though,
because that apparently is what attracts Alex Rodriguez,
at least.
Do we have any word on their leadership team?
Any of the demographics?
You know, I haven't been able to find it
because they've switched names so much that their website is all buried
because they're onto us.
They know what we're trying to do.
It's not real.
That's just happening.
Okay, I mean, this is one of my favorite things
in the NBA to talk about,
which is how fricking weird Joe Missoula is.
He's a weird individual.
He is a strange guy.
And I say that with no judgment.
I mean, look, like.
Show is called Oddball.
Yeah, we're not like normal.
He should be a guest on this show.
He really should, well, he sort of has been.
No, I mean like.
He should really come on the show.
You know when we do the show in Boston.
Yeah.
Boston coming soon.
We'll try and grab Coach Missoula for a sit down.
I think he would enjoy it.
I think he would too.
We're not a hostile environment here.
Not usually.
No, I just, he did the weirdest thing
I think I've ever seen a coach do physically recently
and he does this often, which is.
I don't know if he does this often.
This is the first time I've seen him do it.
But he says he does it often, that's the thing.
That's like, again.
So anyway, let's explain what he did. Um, basically he contested a three
that sons forward Royce O'Neill had shot after a timeout.
So there was no way that this shot was going to count.
So typically this is what happens, right? In the NBA,
there's a dead ball or a timeout, and as everyone's walking to the bench,
whatever player has the ball,
sometimes it'll take a little practice shot.
Now, famously, Kevin Garnett would like
goaltend those practice shots, right?
Including one time where he goaltended it,
it went back to the guy who shot it,
who shot it again, and Kevin Garnett
goaltended it again, right?
So this is not new.
I forgot about that.
This is not new from a player perspective,
that some guys don't let guys take practice shots.
What's new is, as the Celtics are going to their bench,
which is right in front of where the basket,
where the Suns are shooting,
Joe Mazzullo sprints from the bench
and full on contests Royce O'Neil's shot.
Honestly, like impressive hops. Like he, he got, he got like,
jujitsu. Oh, right. Sorry.
Jesus in jujitsu. He's incredible.
Jovozol is my favorite character in the NBA. So here's what he said about this.
People were like, Hey, you're the coach, not a coach.
You are the head coach of the Boston Celtics.
Why did you contest another player's shot
that wasn't gonna count for anything?
Also, if he had done, if he had contested a shot
that was gonna count for something,
that's a whole other story.
And Missoula said,
I saw a guy going in to try to get a shot
and he hadn't made one.
I didn't want him to feel good about himself
going to the bench.
Gary asked me about that a month ago
and that's the bench rule.
Guys don't shoot shots in front of our bench
to go back to their bench to feel good about themselves.
If I'm gonna ask the guys that contest,
the staff's gonna do the same.
Okay.
You know, it's funny because in his mind,
Jalen Brown sits down on the bench and sits down
and sees Royce on the list to shoot the shot and say,
close, you were right there, get a hand up,
what are you doing?
Like in his mind, that's what the,
so I can't have Jalen Brown or Jason Tatum or paint and pressure think of me like that
I've got us. I got a walk the walk
Which I'm gonna talk to talk on some level I do respect like this is to this is to an extent that I'm like
This is not how things usually work
But I do think that there's something to be said for Missula sitting there with a mindset that he has to do what he is asking of other people
to the point where it's not,
his players probably are never going to feel like,
hey, this guy is asking a lot of us and he's not,
one thing you cannot say about Joe Mizula
is that he's not intense.
There is an intensity.
Yes, and yet, in my mind,
I think it is endearing to his players,
but I think it's endearing in the way that it's like,
yes, he's a delightful little weirdo,
but he's our delightful little weirdo, right?
And like, that's, I think it's endearing in that way.
I talked about this on Levitard Show last week,
like the idea that you can be the delightful little weirdo
as long as you're successful.
The moment you're not successful,
like what was delightfully weird just turned into just weird.
And a little annoying.
And a little annoying, right?
So for right now, great.
On top of the world.
I can't get the image out of my head.
I fall asleep thinking about Joe Missoula contesting a shot.
Yeah, so my favorite part is, he went on local radio recently I fell asleep thinking about Joe Missoula contesting a shot.
Yeah.
So my favorite part is he went on local radio recently
and he said, someone told him to cease and desist doing that.
We don't know if it's Celtics organization.
We don't know if it's the league front office.
We don't know if it's another player.
If you do this, I will kill you.
Right?
We just know that someone told him to stop,
and he said, quote, I don't think it's a rule,
but I'm sure it will be in the next 24 to 48 hours.
Making it seem like he's done this again,
or he was planning on, I don't know.
It sounded like the Riddler, right?
Like, or the Joker, like, in the next 24 hours.
I predict that there will be some new laws on the books.
How long does it take to put a new rule?
Well, depends.
I feel like 24 to 48 hours is a pretty quick turnaround.
I think this is one of those things that next year
there will be a rule, but for now there'll be a memo.
I hope they call it the Missoula rule.
Well, of course.
What else?
You couldn't name it anything else, Charlotte.
He's the only guy in the history of the game to ever do it.
It's so weird.
Let me ask you, you want to elevate this conversation?
Yeah, I do.
What's weirder?
Joan Missoula doing that to Royce O'Neal in a dead ball situation after a timeout,
or James Harden in the middle of a live game,
passing the ball to Koi Leonard
and then closing out and contesting on him.
What happened there?
I couldn't, I didn't believe my eyes.
Do you think he just like, it was like a brain fart?
No way James Harden has a brain fart
that forces him to play defense.
That's not what's happening.
What happened?
I'll tell you exactly what's happening.
Look at the time, look at the score.
They're beating the blazers ass.
This is James Harden's way of saying this game is so easy. I need to make it harder on ourselves.
He's absolutely, this is absolutely, if I was a ref, I would have teed him up for taunting.
I would have. For sure. That's taunting. I think that's more unhinged than what Missoula did.
I don't think it's unhinged. I think it's like high level. You know? That's galaxy brain. The only thing I can compare it to as far as like.
It's so obnoxious.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
It's so obnoxious.
That's why you need to team up.
The only thing I can remember that is as obnoxiously
confident in absolute victory was LeBron James
in a playoff game against the Raptors one time.
It was Raptors ball, Terrence Ross is about to inbound
and LeBron said
whoa don't do that don't do that you guys have six men on the floor and he
waited for the sixth Raptors. This is a playoff game. We waited for the sixth Raptor to get
off the floor and then he says to Terrence Ross okay now you can inbound it. He knew
and he could have just not said anything and they would have got a technical foul and they would have shot a
free throw one extra point for the cast. Right LeBron was literally so confident like we're going to kill them
It's nothing you can do. There's no advantage. I need to gain here
So my question to you is which is more obnoxious being so polite that it's rude LeBron James
Me like oh no, hold on. Hold on one sec. Let me help you out or
being so preening and cocky about it.
Which would you prefer if you had to be
on the receiving end of this as the losing team?
You know, Eddie Murphy used to have a bit about Mike Tyson.
And he said, Mike Tyson beat the guy up
and then at the end of the fight,
he'll kiss you on the forehead.
And he's like, I don't want you to,
don't try to be nice.
Just kick my ass.
Like the being nice at the end makes it so much worse.
I think I'd rather have Harden,
no, yes, I think I'd have Harden do that
because if I were one of the Blazers,
I would say, okay, now we gotta take him out.
But you can't do that to a guy
who's just looking out for you,
even though looking out for you.
Which is why it's kill them with kindness.
It's kill them with the absolute kindness.
You know what?
I don't even, out of those three things, I don't know.
They're all kind of weird in their own way.
But that's the brilliance.
That's the brilliance of people.
The thing about people who are willing to be this weird publicly is that they are so
committed to the bit.
The best way I can describe it is a commitment to the bit to the point where if this were
improv, like they are yes ending after the show is over.
We're still going.
We're in the audience leaving and they're still up there saying, oh, but the alien said
it was fine.
1000% commitment to the bit.
I think that's why I sort of respect all of it.
Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. It's springtime.
And while every time is a good time for Miller Lite,
springtime is among the best.
I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom
and some beautiful birds swimming from royal fishtail palm
to royal fishtail palm. And I to Royal Fishtail Palm and I
had a Miller Lite in my hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life.
Over the years a lot has changed.
One thing that hasn't, the great taste of Miller Lite.
It was the original Lite beer and to this day is still the very best one.
Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't.
Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me. I thank the heavens for you every time I'm sitting
on my back patio and I take a sip. Ah, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered
right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, where you can find it pretty much anywhere
that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories
per 12 ounces.