The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Who's Josh Groban?!
Episode Date: June 1, 2023Mike Schur sticks around and tries to to protect himself from the pain of the Celtics loss. Then, Jessica went to see Sweeney Todd recently and had a revelation about one of the actors. Plus, the rece...nt sports media news on Shannon Sharpe and Pat McAfee, and Zach Lowe joins the show to break down every storyline of the Heat-Nuggets NBA Finals and try to explain how the Heat got here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dunlabel Tarshall with the Stugat's Podcast.
You didn't think I was a videotame, you didn't think that you were gonna win game seven after I
I promise you I did not I honestly did not in fact
No really no one did there was a lot of like hope hope, but yeah sure like it would be great
It would be great. No one thought we were gonna win what I dislike so much about game seven is that you guys didn't have that much hope
Yeah, we should have been closer. Yeah, it's kind of you.
No, and also then, even if anybody did have hope,
the game was a little bit...
The game was quickly,
the game was over, it ended 25 seconds in
as soon as Tatum couldn't walk, like no one at that moment.
Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, better than that.
You remember Peyton Pritchett,
you remember Peyton Pritchett,
we weren't talking about Peyton Pritchett.
You guys, for all of your bravado, your
unearned bravado. Honored. Actually,
never. Seven, seven, NBA finals since 2006.
Seventh, honor. Don't understand what it actually is. Do you have
since 2006? How many NBA finals do you have since 2006?
No, let's do it and you're adult lifetime.
Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
In my adult lifetime, you've got three?
Three MBA finals?
That's pretty good.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's half, no, it's less than half as many
as the Miami Heat have.
The Miami Heat were born in the 1980s,
much like myself.
They are the Marquis franchise.
I don't know why it's named the Bob Coosie award.
Have you heard me?
It should be named, it should be named by Austin.
I have listened to me.
Have you heard me say the words out loud,
the Boston Celtics are the Marquis NBA franchise?
No, but you have to, I'm walking around saying that.
Let's rename it the Mario Chalmers, the Bob Coosie.
Really be the Norris Cole.
I know. The Norris Cole.
I, I want, you know what, I still don't understand.
I still don't understand how it is that I'm the one who told you your team was good
and you're acting like you're dunking on me.
Because you said it right there.
I understand this.
You said it right there.
You're a team.
My team.
Not your team.
Your team lost.
Yes. Your team bad, my team good. My team good, my your team. Your team lost. Yes.
My team good.
My team good. My team win.
I was like, what could I have done?
Prophylactically to prevent this from happening.
What was going on with I possibly?
Oh, politically hell yeah.
Yes.
What could I have done?
How could I have protected myself against this any better than I did?
You know what? My greatest...
It's so true.
My greatest regret about this series
is that Tyler Hero wasn't the one sticking it in you
Oh God
You're the one that mentioned pro-flactic you're the one who did that
Profilactically speaking. Oh, Tyler hero could have been out there all of you
Yeah, grow up a grow up and be the heater
I don't want to sound like Stu gotts here. The heater better without Tyler here,
and you know what, he, he, he were in that series,
he would have been hunted defensively like he always is.
And instead, they got to play guys
who are legitimately better than he is.
Like Duncan Robinson.
Your thoughts and opinions.
And you know that, that's, that should, yeah.
Your thoughts and opinions on the heat and tone of panther.
Tell me, tell me.
Tell me as many wins in the post season at TD Garden
as the Celtics and Bru your your just general thoughts there
He left he didn't realize I didn't leave. I'm still here
I'm curious if he actually gives the heated chance here. No, he doesn't write about
He now he's gonna he's just like a heat massive hair.
No, we got no shot at stopping you.
I give them a chance.
I give them a chance.
I think it's 60, 40 Denver.
I definitely give them a chance.
But the mistake will be, here's my, here,
you want a prediction, here's a prediction.
They play Tyler Hero, they lose.
What?
I'm serious.
That Tyler Hero not be, the key to the heat,
winning the Southern series was that Hero didn't play.
You believe that, you know, that, Simmons has about Tyler because it allowed like watch
Martin emerge watch what happens if Jamal Murray can call switches on to
Tyler. I don't want to like it is not gonna go we can't we can't guard point
cards my whole thing is just like we've suffered so much and I just I just think
they're gonna do it I've got no reason, but they haven't won in Denver since 2016. You've suffered so much. Yeah, suffered so much.
This core has suffered so much. It's their time. They lost. No, no, no, this. It's Denver's time.
Same way. It's not, it's not, it's not Denver's time. It's not Denver's time. It's not Michael
Malone's time. Sorry. It's not Michael Malone's time. Jeremy, you had something that you wanted
to say to Mike. Sure. Well, all I was going to say about Tyler hero is they'll just do the
same thing they did with Duncan Robinson which is only play him when they
play his own defense so they'll just try to protect him the best that they can
yeah and you know use him as a guy to space the floor he's not going to be like a
crucial part of this series easy man oh no I'm not sure I'm not sure if this
zone works as well when a there's a coach who knows how to play against
his own defense which the Celtics did not have fair and B when you have Yokech at in the
middle of that offense and his passing ability.
I think the the problem for the Celtics the entire series was that they never adjusted.
I don't know why they had seven games to figure out what every a you team knows how to
do which is attack a zone defense and they never did it.
But the thuggets and Yokech,
like the greatest passing big man
and maybe in the history of the NBA,
that zone doesn't work the same way.
It will not work the same.
Tell me you're bringing back Missoula.
Just tell me you're bringing back Missoula.
That dude, Missoula's Brad's guy,
I think he comes back.
That's the dude just ate it.
He's so surly too.
Dude, the post game press conference,
it's just a bad look.
It's pretty embarrassing.
I would just have no confidence in that guy.
No wonder, of course you don't,
who does?
Nobody has confidence.
That's honestly, I wasn't that worried,
headed into game seven because I was just,
like, no.
Spowe versus Muslim.
And that's why we had no hope.
Like, that's why you have to understand
that I'm telling you the truth Nobody was like oh every there was some
Laying narrative creeping out in the press that was like oh miss maybe Missoula's figured something out
It's like no Missoula didn't figure something out. They just shot better from three. That was it
And and that every time I amy ran that zone every single time it would be the same like they tried
They ran isolation against his own
It's the number one thing you can't do is jail jail in brown running an ice zone against that zone
I would use insane it was it was so maddening to watch it like happen over it over again. Yes, like that's the thing
You cannot do yes against a collapsing zone. We're drawing it out of you. Let the hate flow
Let the heat flow through you. Oh, Mike, I finally got you to
start. We want the tech strings so bad. We want to know. Just give us a little, give us a little
flash. What did Ellen Pompeo say? Give us a little taste of what one of your celebrity friends
had to say. And just tell me what you think right now of the Tatum Brown. You've got, I saw
a poll yesterday, 25,000 votes from people asking who you'd rather have on your team.
Jalen Brown or Caleb Martin, 55%
Kaven Caleb Martin, prisoner of the moment
instead of a second team, all NBA guy,
like what the hell is happening?
That look, the answer, I'm not gonna read a single text
that I got sent, so give up on that.
Please just pipe dream. The answer, the'm not gonna read a single text that I got sent, so give up on that. We just pipe dream.
The answer for the Celtics going forward,
I don't think is to give up.
I think the answer is to have a coach
or maybe as an assistant coach or someone
who redesized the offense,
so the Jalen Brown never has to do what he tried to do
and failed to do over and over again,
which is dribble penetrate.
It's the number one weakness, not only in his game, but in the game of any top
50 player in the NBA is Jalen Brown's dribbling with his left and that the fact that no one
on that coaching staff designed any play at any moment where he didn't have to do that
was the major failure of the series.
But you can't tell me that most people in your group chat aren't trying to ship Jalen Brown out.
You can't.
And some people are.
Yeah, just because they behavior to try to trade
one of your top two stars constantly at every turn.
You're lack of faith and commitment to your team.
And the front of the shirt is appalled.
Yeah, no, you, you, and you speak with authority on this.
Tatum, where are you on Tatum?
Mike Ryan for three days, speaking on behalf of all heat fans.
Anytime I mentioned that Tatum was hurt on the first play, he believes it's sacrilege
and a discredit to everything the heat accomplished in game seven.
Yes, I'm sure that if Jimmy Butler had heard his ankle in the opening minutes of game seven
and the heated loss, he would be not blaming that.
We did.
We did the injury. Last year in the Eastern Conference final, we'll mention Shrews's foot going
out of bounds. We won't meant. Oh, it's true. No, it's true. And Tatum are the same. No, no, no,
but no, but what we won't mention is Peyton Pritchard taking Jimmy Butler out of game three
and you had one of the few memorable bam out of bio playoff performances there. And he was
dealing with that the entire time. And you forgot about it in game six because he conquered it.
Jason Tatum was out there.
There were plenty of injured players on the Miami Heat.
Jason Tatum was out there inexplicably not getting his ankle worked on even though this was an injury that would have kept him out of the NBA final.
Blah blah blah.
You know that that limp was correlated to the spread.
You know that he's been doing this.
He did that the last Eastern Conference Final too.
Remember the shoulder?
First basket he put up.
Oh, ah, just in case, setting the table for his excuse.
You cannot tell me Jason Tatum doesn't embellish stuff.
You also can't tell me that when you jump up
for a six footer on the baseline
and land on someone's foot and twist your ankle
that badly that it doesn't affect your play.
Oh, jumping on someone's foot,
how about paper-pricitchard taking out your knee,
bossing crab style?
That's a good one.
Well, we didn't talk about that.
You know why?
Because we're both on culture.
We're tough.
We don't make excuses over here.
Yeah, occasionally a plane will get the laid three hours
and that deserves some attention.
Some, oh god.
But Jason Tatum was out there.
Jason Tatum was out there.
Jimmy Butler's right, ain't you? No, you're right. You're right. You're right about everything. there. Jason Tatum was out there. Jimmy Butler's right ankle.
It's a size of a bowling.
You're right about everything.
You're right about everything.
Thank you.
You're right about everything.
Yeah.
No, you're 100% right about everything.
Jeremy, why are you wintzing?
I don't, Mike is making me somehow,
not want to root for the heat.
Like this is, this is a level of,
I agree with you on everything.
It's just the delivery.
You don't think I had a paper picture in my back pocket?
You don't think I remember that?
No one remembers it because we didn't make excuses
The reality is is that Jimmy Butler's ankle has been hurt since Josh
Josh heart purposefully took out his ankles in the previous series and
Bam's dealing with a shoulder and oh look all these guys are hurt at this point does Jason Tatum affect like his rolling of an ankle
Absolutely affect that game. Yes, was he still out there? Yes. So, Robert Williams was throwing out.
Oh, he's, he had a tummy ache.
He was throwing out.
He was throwing down.
No, he was throwing down.
Robert Williams was throwing down that game, and I had to hear about his tummy ache.
Do you know what my, do you?
I want you to, I need you to look at me.
Do you know what my, Mike?
There was one player that threw up in that game, and it was Jalen Brown all over the front
of his jersey.
I need you to look in a mirror right now and understand just how odious you have to
be for for Mike sure human being who is decent to throw up his hands like he would with
someone with an AR 15 and a mega hat.
He would throw up his hands and be like you're right.
You're right about everything.
Just stop talking.
Just all right. I'm holding right about everything. Just stop talking.
Just stop talking.
I'm holding up an actual mirror.
Ooh, nice hat.
I see a winner.
I see someone that's gone to the NBA finals
in my adult life more than twice as much as you have.
I see someone that wants a Bob Koozy award
renamed the Mario Chalice.
You still talking to me?
Put it on the poll, please,
Judeo at Levitard Show. Should the Bob Koozy award, renamed the Mario Jones. You still talking to me? Put it on the poll, please, Jude, at Levitade Show,
should the Bob Koozy award be renamed
the Mario Chalmers Award?
It's gonna be a long four game nugget sweep.
Mike, I am genuinely sorry,
not because both of your teams,
the Kings and the, well,
all three of your teams,
the Bruins, the Kings and the Celtics lost,
but also because I'm sorry that Mike is Mike
Yeah, I think we're all sorry about that right now
He fans are just beginning to get obnoxious if they don't let me get one don't don't let me get
They beat that ogre monster don't let me get one
Hello, I need help I'm in Barcelona and the creatures are everywhere ¡Don't let me get one! Look at the people who ask me to watch, I want to continue with him. Birdbox, Barcelona,
Extreme Netflix, July 14th, you dare to know.
Don't let it go!
Elton John does not like performing crocodile rock,
but to the point we were making, I think he still does,
because he just knows the crowd wants to hear it.
Right boy, he has to. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I feel like that safe. He might be litigious, but that
was such a poor imitation of the song. Still gots. We can all agree. Piano Man. The crowd
needs to sing Piano Man. Yeah, but I want to hear Billy Joel sing it. They just let
you at the end go. Do do do do. She just wants to be nominated. She just wants to rack up to be nominated.
Is that what she's going to do?
I'm trying to avoid that.
She's rocking our rock.
Fake Billy Joel's piano.
You got it.
It's all right.
This is the Don Limita Show with this two cats.
I turned the tail of Sweeney Todd.
Mike I saw Sweeney Todd last weekend.
So jelly.
So jelly.
There was, it was a very star-studded cast and there was the star of the musical, while
there were two stars really, Analy Ashford and Josh Groban.
I didn't know who Josh Groban was till last weekend.
I don't know how this guy slipped past my consciousness, but he's got a set of pipes, Dan.
He is a good singer.
Yeah, classically trained Josh Groben has a good singer.
Do you have albums?
What is he?
Isn't that why he's famous though?
Isn't that why the name is known because he's known as having a great voice?
Yeah, I thought he was a country singer.
You never watched PBS.
Okay, you never watched PBS.
Your great parents never watched PBS.
Just, flatly, never watched PBS because Josh Groban was a staple of PBS.
Really?
Yeah.
You raised me up.
You were moved by him.
He was.
He had a crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy guy.
Also now learning who Josh Groban is.
He has an amazing voice and sweet time breaking news.
Again, he honestly news to me.
And Swini Todd is a really creepy, dark scare. We've talked about in the show before. voice and sweet talk breaking news again. Jessica. He honestly news to me and
Swini Todd is a really creepy dark scare.
We've talked about in the show before.
A very creepy.
He does some murders and he was just phenomenal in it.
And my only complaint really was that there wasn't enough blood.
You have been really enjoying some the arts, right?
Because you are at weddings.
You're filled with all this love.
I don't know what you're doing
over the last month or so,
entertainment consumption,
but you got a lot of music,
you've got a lot of love,
and you didn't even have time for Game 7
because you wanted to enjoy all of succession.
All, all, you wanted to enjoy the finale,
more than you wanted to enjoy a live sporting event
that Art Show won't shut up.
That's correct.
This has been a six week marathon.
We had three weddings and six weeks.
And guess what?
Made it through the last one without one single-sweet Caroline, except for on the drive home, five-hour
drive home from upstate New York.
The last ten minutes of the drive, it came on the radio.
And I wanted to scream.
Because you made it through.
You made it through the gauntlet.
I always made it.
You wanted to scream the lyrics?
No.
F***.
F***.
F***.
That's a lot of things that are going to have to be
bleeped out there.
You know who would never sing sweet Caroline Josh Groban,
because he's too good for that song.
His voice is too good for sweet Caroline.
Did he do the contest?
And her share of the contest and or share with the
fish I have the fives the god of the air did you then go into a rabbit hole
where you require a craze require a flare I did go into a rabbit hole he has on
his Spotify like I couldn't figure out what this guy like does and he raises
people up yeah I guess yeah he's got, he's got like duets with like opera singers.
He has like a few like Broadway songs that he's recorded.
Like here's the unknown.
Well, it's kind of known from Phantom.
What's the unknown?
Josh Groban is really funny.
And he's actually worked with Mike Sherry.
He did the office.
Yeah, he did a cameo in the office.
He's really fun.
Yeah, I didn't know.
I've seen every episode of the office.
I probably was like, hmm, some guy.
No, he's really funny in it. And there's no way to mention I've seen every episode of the office. I probably was like, hmm, some guy. No, he's really funny in it and there's no way to mention it. I've partied with Josh Groben.
Really?
Yeah, okay, hold on.
You said there's no way to mention it?
There's no way to go about it.
I've partied with Josh Groben.
Josh Groben, you're dinner with Dan Marino.
I partied with Josh Groben. One night in Underground in Chicago.
This was the same night that I pede next to Alex Turner from the Arctic Monk.
Would he remember you?
I'm not Josh Turner. I'm Josh.
No, I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say he wouldn't remember, but we party.
So he asked for his table to be moved because he was a cross from the Arctic
Monkeys and apparently like he had someone move them because yeah we don't
do like that's just like a music thing
You don't you don't have like two music acts like partying across from one another and I know the audience of those two definitely
Cross over a ton you know what it was you know who's a fan diagram me in the middle of it just like
We're there also saw a show on Broadway two weeks ago in lieu of a heat game But instead of seeing the star of said show he found out on his way there that she was not performing that night
This is the worst I've we've been teasing this story on mystery crate for a couple of weeks now
But it's time it's time to unveil giving away the goods. It's time to unveil
That's mr. Crit exclusive. I thought so too, but here we are.
Now, two minutes, get out.
I'll say it.
Oh, you won't.
You won't, Mr. Crate.
You can enjoy Mr. Crate over there.
We'll get to that.
Well, I have you on promo mode.
I have a clip from Stupatity,
in which he had Rachel, his daughter, National Champion.
They had their head coach for the lacrosse team.
What do you think Sue Godds did with his time with the head coach for the lacrosse team. What do you think
Sioux gods did with his time with the head coach of ask for things? Yep. You got it.
Rachel Planktime. Here we go. Here's courtesy of Sioux. God's asking for stuff.
I went to every single game. Only a handful of parents can claim that. Even the dreadful Triple Marquette Game Kelly, okay? I know you were so cold that one.
That was freezing.
And so I just thought it was like our indoor facility.
There's nothing like your indoor facility.
It's the Ritz-Korl with an indoor facility.
But I did go to the Marquette game
and there was like five of us there
and I feel like those five parents, perhaps.
This is what I'm asking, I'll be direct.
Do you want my ring size size should I send it to you
what do you think oh no oh my god oh no over laughter
absolutely I'm gonna send it over oh my god you
learned it you learned it yeah that's a reason to listen to that is a
nicotine soaked laugh that he's got he sounds like Ursula from a
little that tongue is heavy.
Did you guys, Mike, did you got like a seven pound tongue?
Did you put it on the pole, please,
Drew at Levitage show, does Stugat's tongue now weigh seven pounds?
Jessica, regarding Groban, are you not curious as I am,
whether or not Mike Ryan, when he was partying with Groban,
was singing, was Groban was singing?
Was there any singing involved?
If the drinking gets going, is there the possibility
that a guy with great pipes would let it fly?
He was, I mean, it was a loud club.
It was underground in Chicago,
and this was quite a few years ago,
so I couldn't necessarily pick up
if he was also screaming, big niche Larry Hoover.
Ooh.
A whip and work. Hallelujah.
Well,
nation under God.
Getting back finished the liquor.
Anybody want to finish the lyric?
Anybody?
Nope, nope, nope.
I did want to move over to some sports media news.
There's been a couple of giant sports media items.
McAfee reportedly getting 17 million a year from ESPN.
So he leaves a four year,
120 million dollar contract with Fandall
for a five year, reportedly,
85 million dollar contract that goes into the range,
as I don't know whether anyone cares about ESPN salary structures, but
he's now in Joe Buck range and above Stephen A Smith.
And in office money games, all of these people are making an enormous amount of money, but
there are plenty of people at ESPN being laid off who are noticing this and the headlines are, you know, employees
not feeling great about what's happening with all of a sudden, we've got to go out and
rent a show, not create one.
We've got all of these people.
We're not going to create a show.
We're going to go rent one for $17 million a year and he's going to become a superstar
there and he'll have huge reach and he'll get all the guests and I am imagining he's going
to be an even more giant success.
He's left a lot of millions on the table
because the reach of this matters
and Disney nighting you will help Pat McAfee
become someone who's a giant as Shannon Sharp
decides right now, buy me out of my contract.
I love what my brand has as value.
If I go solo because I know that my podcast
is something that I can now sell because I don't need skip bailiffs anymore. And I'm assuming
the reports are true. It was obvious to me on television. That wasn't going to last very
much longer. You can't have that kind of real tension between partners daily on a television
show and not break up. You're going to break up. And now Shannon Sharp leaves in a shrinking media market.
He lives one of the push jobs to go sailing on his own.
Yeah, and if you look at his Twitter profile,
he has some likes in his profile
that would kind of allude to what happened there.
It's not necessarily shying away from it anyways.
These things take a, these biotes usually take a while
to come together.
I'm genuinely curious if the DeMorah Hamlin stuff
was the seeds of him actively pursuing a biote.
I would guess, again, this is just expertise
in sports television is not an intimate knowledge
of these two people.
It's just how these relationships can fray.
But Monty told me when I met him, But Monty told me when I met him.
But Monty told me when I met him,
we will never be friends.
It's not the nature of sports television partnerships.
Wilbon and Cornheiser totally different group.
These things do not last for 20 years.
These relationships,
Shannnett Sharp needed Bayless for what it is that he made
and he no longer needs Skip Bayless.
And my guess is he's tired of being disrespected
by skip bailiffs in whatever the ways are.
I think it's started as eclipse skip bailiffs,
especially with like the grizzlies run in.
He's, what's in?
What's in?
And I think that actually that social currency
is podcast is popular.
It's turned into very, very, very, very, very,
that's got to be what's driving all of this, right?
He can, he can drive a show.
He's improved, Credit to him too.
He's improved tremendously.
This is a guy that was let go at CBS from their studio shows.
Think about how stuffy studio shows are.
You dropped Shane and Sharp up today into a studio show
because of my mentality.
That wasn't his fault.
That was the stuffiness of the group.
I think in part, look, we tried Shane and Sharp out on this show.
How about us?
I know it was on the floor, everyone.
Well, we saw getting rid of Shane and Sharp before anyone.
When he asked for money, he's from Monty.
When he asked for money, no.
It was limited.
Well, this is all that one movie.
And then we asked him about other movies.
This is me, I'm probably not doing this the right way.
This is me giving Shane and Sharp his flowers.
Like, he's improved a lot.
He's always been great.
He's always been a great talker,
but in terms of like the theatrics of television.
Okay, if, if, and that's fine, you can think that,
but I want you to imagine doing a show
with Shannon Sharp sensibilities in grandma's living room
that was CBS television on the linen,
on the couches that are covered in plastic
as he trying to inner play when they want marino they want stiffness and that inside
the NFL too. It's just like it took a minute. It took a minute for him to settle
into this lane and right now he is in his peak form as a media person. I would say
the constructs of the business make it hard for Shannon Sharp someone like
Shannon Sharp historically to climb.
Okay.
And he took a good job with a lot of space
against a good villain who he now,
he outclasses and overshadows.
But he also grew within that show.
Shannon Sharp on the show today
is a lot better than Shannon Sharp
when that show started.
But it's the daily reps of going against Get Bayless
who now looks around and what.
And I have no idea what that show becomes
Sioux got this definitely get an angle for it
Don Lebertard
Ron I can't walk around my house naked because I fear that the cat would be traumatized
Sioux gots like if if your cat or dog suddenly saw you nude walking around your house
How would they react to that? What would they say?
I'm wondering why I don't have spines at the end of my penis
yeah like a cat
this is the dan lebertar show with this two cats
I can say this I think without being overflattering
this guy is a pioneer in the way that he covers basketball
his information is thorough you learn stuff from him through writing
and through scouting analysis. Zach Lowe's got a very popular podcast, the low post podcast,
because people who really care about these games learn stuff and check in with him. He's in Denver
at what looks to me to be not the best. You're the best I'm saying and it looks like your accommodations are shotty.
It looks like Zach Lowe deserves better. His analysis, his information, his podcast deserve
better than shitty hotel room.
Ooh, I wouldn't go that far. I would give it a B. It's a B. I want a coffee maker. I don't
have a coffee maker, but I'll tell you what was good. The iron, you give me a good hotel iron that actually works.
And I'm pretty happy.
So I'm going to give it a B.
It's fine. I don't need, I don't need the bells and whistles.
I need iron.
Why buy coffee?
That's it.
Let's get to the basketball analysis in a second.
But before we do that, can you please explain to me historically because I've
told people people if this
heat teams wins the championship, I think it's the greatest upset in the history of the sport.
Like numerically, when you look at regular season stats, this is not something that ever
happens in this sport.
Would it be, or am I, am I being prisoner of the moment?
No, you're not being prisoner of the moment.
It's like totally inexplicable based on every prior track record you could possibly imagine.
And the crazy thing about it is it's not like other than Yannis getting hurt and the
bucks lost the games that Yannis played like it's not like they avoided all the heavy
weights in the Eastern Conference Milwaukee round one.
And yeah, Nick's that was kind of an even matchup and they've grinded that one out.
Boston huge favorites.
What did our analytics crusade 97% chance?
So it's not like they coasted through these weak teams that pulled off upsets. They had a negative and there was no, and
you guys know this, there was no sign. This was coming. Like they came to New York a few
times toward the end of the regular season and all they wanted, all they were praying
for is, and we just find a way to get to six. The nets have traded away, Durant and Kyrie,
their slumping. Can we just get to six and get out of the away. Durant and Kyrie, there's slumping. Can we just get
to six and get out of the play internment? And they couldn't even do that. And they almost
lost twice in the play internament. Like there was no sign that this was coming. I didn't
get a sense that internally other than probably the most maniacal competitors on the team,
like Jimmy and BAM, that there was like a great deal of internal faith that yeah, if we
get in, like you never know, we we're gonna go on a run like it's
Completely stunning and yet you look at all these series and it's like yeah, they deserve to win like they're it's not
None of these are like flukes. They just outplayed these teams. Zach. I just had on we just talked to Mike sure and
The things that he was lamenting as a Celtics fan are like, how do we not adjust to zone?
Anybody can do that.
And how is the adjustment?
Hey, Jalen, dribble with your left hand into the zone
when that's the dumbest thing that you can do.
The last, most egregious failed coaching job
that you have seen as bad as what you just saw in the Celtics
is Zacklow historian blank.
Oh boy.
I'd have to think back.
I mean, look, I think that the Joe stuff was a little overblown, like they did try stuff
against his own and Tatum did get hurt in the first play of the game.
But yeah, I actually thought it was worse during the Sixer series to coaching than it was
during the Miami series. I thought that Sixer series should have been a shorter series for them and there was
some obvious stuff.
I'm just looking at the standings right now to jog my memory of times that I thought,
like, oh, what is this?
What is this coach doing?
You know, the one that I think of sometimes, this goes back a long way in heat history,
actually.
And I love Scotty Brooks.
And I think Scotty Brooks is a good coach
who deserves another shot.
I just remember every game of that finals
between the heat and the thunder in 2012,
when Perk and God love him, I love Perk, he's my colleague.
When Perk's name was still in the starting five
and the heat we're playing Bosch at center,
every time that sheet would come out,
here's Oklahoma City's stars for tonight, people within the heat would playing Bosch at center. Every time that sheet would come out, here's Oklahoma City, starts for tonight.
People within the heat would be like, again,
like we're getting this again to start the game.
Like I can't believe what's going on here.
And I think there were internal issues,
like Perk was a big culture center for them.
He held the young guys accountable,
but that was one that I always remember being like,
I kind of can't believe this is still happening.
And it like may have crossed them the series.
I had another example.
Avery Johnson never stopped doubling shack when it was clear that he needed to stop doubling
shack because Dwayne Wade was crushing him.
But I don't have many as my point, Zach, watching this sport where I can clearly look at
the coach and say, you are not equipped for some of what you're seeing here.
This is just a laughably, these are laughably bad decisions you're making.
I thought, honestly, the bigger story of the Southeast coaching stuff was less like the
zone and jail and brown dribbling and all that.
Like I thought there was some late game stuff against the Sixers, particularly in that game
four.
That was really bad.
But to me, it was the whole season, just the determination to go away with the double big lineup
that almost won then the title last year
and Robert Williams minutes being up and down
and his injury played into that.
The Grant Williams just disappearance from the rotation.
I joked on my podcast many times,
like, is he the guy at your company
that's going into the company fridge
and stealing other people's food
and like taking three bites out of the sandwich and putting it back.
Like there has to be some explanation for how this guy just stops playing.
And of course then he starts playing again.
I think that kind of shook the Celtics internally a little bit like what's going on here
with this with this rotation because like they should be they should be in the finals.
Like they just should be they should have beaten the heat.
They're better than the heat.
And those first three games are just all time like what happened here? they just should be they should have beaten the heat. They they're better than the heat. And
those first three games are just all time like what happened here? Make sure to check out Zach's 10 things column in the NBA finals. Of course, we're on ABC. Zach, historically,
Yolkich gives everybody problems, but he gives BAM a lot of problems. Aaron Gordon has
bothered Jimmy Butler as a defender and the heat have struggled to guard point guards
in Jamal Murray has found his form.
Why am I entering this as a heat fan still oddly confident?
Because you're wearing the heat culture shirt.
Like why would I expect anything less than you, a hashtag heat culture.
I actually brought one of my, I have a couple of those vice shirts here that I bought just
because I liked them.
You just can't doubt this team.
Like they keep, they just keep scroung them. You just can't doubt this team.
They just keep scrounging. They're like scroungers.
And just like you look at the talent
and they're down by 10 in the second quarter
and they just keep playing.
I think the best virtue of this team is they just keep playing.
They just keep doing their stuff.
They just keep defending with like ferocity
and intention and purpose.
And sometimes that's enough and you look up and it's like one oh two one oh one with 20 seconds
left. Like how did this happen? And you know that I have more faith in them in
that situation and almost anybody in the league. Your optimism I don't think
is like misplaced. I think they're big underdogs in this series. I picked a
nuggets and six. And that's going to seem like disrespectful to heat fans. The
nuggets have not played a series longer than six the entire postseason and only one of them went to six.
And I just I come back to the first thing you said, Mike, which is like, I just don't
know what the yoke is answer is for these guys. I don't know like if Denver just decides
to dump the ball into the post to him 40 times in a game or 20 times in a game. Like I just
don't know what Miami's answer.
Well, you're throwing love at him as a starter. You're throwing zealor. You're throwing you don't as haslam at him for some minutes.
It's chaos. The nation, I, Zach, you're saying nuggets and six and saying that the heat counters with the really pathetic,
super shitty rallying cry of they just keep playing that what you're throwing
at yoke it's who historically sack never been anyone like him correct there's there's never
been never what you're throwing at yoke it's is we just keep playing ferocity that's
but that's what you threw adjacent to them that's what you threw at yonnes and like you also
threw Jimmy butler like you also have a guy who can he be
Yokech is equal in four games in this series,
five games, three games, whatever it is.
Can you be that flat out best guy in two or three of them?
I mean, that's also the hope.
And, you know, we'll see if Tyler Hero
can ever come back and provide a spark.
But I mean, I don't, do you think that's,
that's underselling the heat? I mean, like, no, do you think that's, that's underselling the
heat? No, no, no, no, what I'm saying is the argument shitty. No, it's intangibles with
this team. The zombie thing. But then look at, look at all the teams that fell off in the
east. Like Boston gets in a close game and they stop playing. Milwaukee gets in a close,
they don't even get a close game. They're up 15 in the fourth quarter and they just
collectively forget how to play basketball.
You can see them get nervous and wobble.
Philly loses game six at home to Boston.
And instead of thinking, you know what?
Let's pick ourselves off the mat like the heat did
in the next round and go fight for our season in game seven.
They get blown out, blowing off the floor
and the vibes you get from them afterwards
like, yeah, you know, game six, that was really the series for us and we lost it. The heat, just none of
that happens to the heat. They just don't care about the pressure. They're impervious to it. They
keep doing their stuff. And as you see, one would be contender like it's Philly's time. It's
Milwaukee's time. It's Boston's time. One after another, they get to where they're on the precipice of it and they I mean
I don't want to say choke, but they just kind of wobble and don't execute
That's all I think they're saying there's a choke. There's power in that say power and just sad bill Simmons
I'm just looking at sad bill Simmons say Kim saying the power of
No, but it's not what come on. What's the distance between wobble and choke? What's the distance? I don't know. My general politeness and good nature.
We had a little bit of a show debate going on, changing gears for a minute,
because we've talked a lot of heat today. Monty Williams was hired to the pistons,
and they're paying him a lot of money. And I said, the pistons have a really good,
they have a really good group of young players to which the rest of the room said,
no, they have good young players, not really good young players. So I was wondering where you land on that.
Six years, 78.5 million from Monty Williams. That one's stun me.
It's going to nuke salary. That's stun me, Zach. If that's what Monty Williams is worth,
what is Eric's bolster worth? Eric's bolster is worth. He's in the pop stage where it's
just like whatever, whatever the like we'll never disclose it
It's just whatever he wants whatever he's comfortable with whatever role he wants to have for the next 20 or 30 years
He gets whatever he wants and he's the best coach in the NBA right now. Okay, but good or really good. I've really good
Their core Detroit. Yeah, the young players are really good? I think good. Yeah, I think good. I think
this is becoming on Zach. I was really great to talk to you. We appreciate you. Oh, you and I have
never met. Yes, you're just going to dismiss me like that over a zoom. You didn't agree with me.
He's a senior writer for ESPN host of the low post podcast. The finals preview column is out today
on ESPN.com ahead of game one of the NBA finals on ABC
and I'm sorry.
Jayden Ivan's real Jayden ivy is really good.
Yes.
He's going to be really good the last six weeks of the season.
He made a leap.
I think part of it is we got to see what Cade looks like coming off that that shin thing.
I like during a lot.
They have like nine centers and we'll see who they draft.
Obviously the lottery didn't work out for them.
I'm sorry to say I think say, I think it's good.
But if you stack them up with Oklahoma City,
or Houston would be an interesting one,
obviously now the Spurs are gonna have a guy
who's more valuable than like seven young guys combined,
I think good is where we have to be right now.
I'm sorry, Jess.
You seem like a very nice person, but I'm sorry.
Thank you.
She seems hurt, though.
Thank you, Zach, for being on with us.
Appreciate your time. I'm trying to dodge that bill you can't dodge it
we're too good for you we've perfected it. I'm trying to dodge that bill he says
as a bill simmins sad face uh follow. Oh, don't get one. You can go.
You can go ahead and get one!
God's that, Jill!
God's that, Jill!