The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: A Youthful Middle Age
Episode Date: April 16, 2024Greg Cote and Stugotz discuss the report that Rory McIlroy could potentially head to the LIV tour, and Greg wants to build a statue of himself. Then, Greg ALSO wants his own personal logo. So, if you'...re keeping track, a statue and a logo for Greg Cote. Plus, Greg explains his Jimmy Buffet experience, Verne Lundquist will still your girl and make you feel the verne, and Billy shares a story about his machete. Wow. After writing the notes, I've realized this was a pretty chaotic hour. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Never before head to Tim's and get yours today and participating restaurants in Canada.
This is the Don Leventhal Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
Greg Cody sits here saying that he is astounded.
There are reports now all over the place and I don't know what's verified but somehow and I'm surprised
that you guys are surprised Rory McElroy possibly getting an 850 million dollar
deal from Liv. He can't do that. Okay but you say I have reached the point in
sports where words mean nothing Jimmy Butler before a series can say whatever
he wants the words don't mean anything Rory Yeah, you were about principles back then that was then this is now and if all of
Society caves on the Saudi money and your sport caves on the Saudi money and you're standing alone on the other side
Correct me if I'm wrong on this you're hanging on to a principle that nobody else cares about
Well, he's not alone other golfers care about it. Tiger Woods cares about it.
There are some golfers, Jordan Spieth, Justin Thomas,
they care about it.
What are you guys astounded by?
Of course, the blood money is going to keep buying
as much as it can to whitewash its money.
And golf was a good choice
because look at how the country club splintered
the moment you've got Mickelson
with a gambling problem over here and these other guys, Greg Norman making an economy around his courses because there's so much blood money flowing in.
There's two reasons I'm astounded by it. One is you can't be the guy who rails against it and he
has been the leader of the group of golfers railing against it and then take a deal with
Liv and then the other thing is why would Liv do this they're going to get their merger anyway why would they spend eight hundred and fifty million dollars
on him especially for a guy who hasn't won a major in a lot of years I mean
Rory if anything has been a career disappointment I think based on his
early part of his career but I agree with Stu gots the reason I'm astounded is
that he was out front he was the face of anti-live golf and now
he's how they buy your sport this is how they that's is how they wash the money I
just feel like some people need to be above that Tiger Woods is above that is
he gonna go to live golf they're offering him money even at his age like
nobody else he hasn't done it yet but Rory came off I think feeling the
dumbest
out of everyone that was involved in the situation
because he was the most outspoken.
He was the loudest defender of the PGA of not doing this.
And I mean, I don't know him, obviously,
I'm not speaking for him, but it very much felt like
a betrayal when there was the announcement that the PGA
and Liv were entering some sort of partnership.
Not necessarily a merger because I think they're still
gonna exist as separate entities, but there was almost
like a betrayal, like why was I defending you
if everyone is still gonna, if this money's still out there,
I'd be stupid not to take it if you're just gonna take it
from them anyways.
Why wouldn't I take $850 million?
And from the Liv front, I mean, why would they give it
to him?
Because you win.
Like you had the, this is a PR move for them. And from the live front, I mean, why would they give it to him? Because you win.
Like you had the, this is a PR move for them.
You got him the cave.
You get the person who was the largest person,
the biggest name that was outspoken against you,
and you proved he has a price too,
and we can get that person.
So we're not that bad after all
if the largest criticizer of us is coming to us.
This is a spite offer, like in Curb,
when he does the spite coffee store.
This is just them wanting to be able to say,
yeah, we got you.
You said you'd never do it and you did.
For what it's worth, the reporting on the offer
came from City AM, which is a London financial paper.
They said that two different sources had told them
that there's been an offer made by Liv,
it quote unquote could happen,
and that it was an $50 million dollar offer. The
Irish Independent got a quote from Rory's manager and the manager said,
fake news, zero truth. So that's as of about an hour ago that that came in and
so now it's just a matter of is it because that got out there before Rory
could get the PR spin on his own side of it or is there truly zero truth to this
report? Well thank you for that and thank you to all of you and your Legion who wrote in yesterday
telling us that all of Philadelphia's statues are the size of Allen Iverson's statue.
I thought someone said that in the middle of the fray of us mocking the tiny Philadelphia.
We also said it in the post game show.
I thought so but regardless a lot of people came down on me with great furor, great rage,
because they thought that we didn't respect enough that all Philadelphia statues are tiny,
tiny, embarrassing statues, not just Allen Iverson.
It also technically is at the practice facility in Camden, New Jersey.
But other than that, we nailed it.
A statue has to be a little larger than life, okay? You know, I'm commissioning a statue of myself.
Really?
Yeah. It's going to be about six inches bigger than I am. It's going to be my statue.
Has to be.
It's going to be like six-three, six-four, not counting the pedestal. It demeans you to have a smaller-than-life statue.
I mean, I don't want a statue of me. I look like a jockey. I'm four feet
Oh, Greg has been talking about this statue for a couple of months now Chris. Were you aware of this?
I don't know where he intends to put it whether it's in your yard or his yard his backyard
You would honestly be amazed how serious he is about this
Because usually he says stuff and no he's dead serious. He sends me emails. Hey, let's not forget about this
He's been talking about it for months. I've heard it and look
I don't think you guys are gonna do anything with eBay
Because you guys don't know where money can be made
But you have talked about a statue long enough to make me believe that at your passing
Chris Cody is gonna have in his yard
Inherited from you. maybe the only thing in the will, your statue.
A slightly larger than you, life-size replica of you.
I wanna have it done.
You wanna leave it for your son.
Of course, it's, you know, I want it.
Thank you.
You enjoy it while I'm alive.
Right, the living artifacts.
Yeah, thank you.
What does one of those set you back, Greg?
You know what, they're a little pricey. Are they? Yeah, they're a little pricey are they yeah, let's get some details
So that people understand that this is not a big crowd source
I have seen you doing the research during break. I have our crowd source it. Yeah, you want Greg Cody
We publicly funded a ballpark for multiple teams. Why not publicly fun a statue that the masses can enjoy
I'm gonna write that down. Put it at a park.
Really, you're gonna beg our audience
to build him a statue?
Not beg, but if you wanna contribute.
Exactly, we ask for money for Romigil's cars every week.
I just went to bigstatues.com
and I'm seeing it starts at 5K.
Projects start at a minimum 5K.
Anything you can imagine, we can create.
Is it stone or is it bronze?
Well, if it's bronze then that's where the price. What have you been looking into? It's marble. What you know a very
Marble is a little creepy. Yeah, you know marble is like a mausoleum too much. Yeah, so I'm thinking I'm thinking bronze
Hollow bronze of course save a few bucks. You have a pose in mind
It's another good question. Were you doing the Charleston? I've been thinking about no I'm a little bit of a fellow, I'm a little bit of a fellow, but I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow.
I mean, I'm a little bit of a fellow. I mean, I'm a little he has a statue pose? That we would be traveling as a family and my dad would like come out in his underwear
and he would just like.
Oh.
Oh.
Who needs me?
Go ahead dad, show the people.
Baby.
All right, wait a minute.
Wait.
A lot was said.
What?
Thank you.
I really don't wanna do that pose.
His underwear.
Yes, because.
Well they're boxers.
They're not tighty whities.
Okay.
With the button on the front or are we risking it?
Box of briefs yeah box of briefs. You know like you guys are making this more weird than it was it's not my dad
Hot day short boxers. You know Greg. Please get behind me right now and recreate
Baby
There you go, now.
Recreate what?
Take your shorts off.
I don't know whether the cameras
are in the right place or not.
I don't believe that you know what you're doing here
in terms of lighting, but.
He doesn't even have to like.
Okay, here we go.
He's gotta move slightly to either the right or the left.
There it is, all right, there's the bodybuilder.
All right, hold on a second.
All right.
Stay there.
Earlier. Be a good statue. Earlier in the show, Greg, just hold on a second. All right. Stay there. Be a good statue.
Earlier in the show, Greg, just hold on a second.
No, please get behind me again if you don't mind.
Just real quick.
Yes, please.
Baby, yeah, you can do it again.
Baby.
Yeah, you're subtly too.
Slightly over.
We want to see his feet too, so a little to the right.
We don't want to see him.
We don't want to see him, Greg.
It would be a good option.
All right, excellent camera work by everybody involved.
Excellent directing by everyone involved.
If I may, Greg, if you would stop for just a moment,
parading around.
You have me back here.
I know, but I'm headed somewhere with this.
In the first hour of the show,
this is something that I have witnessed with Greg Cody,
I would say for the better part of more than 30 years, okay?
When scared and spotlighted, he will break into
a specific kind of dance.
It's always the same dance.
It would be my statue for him.
Greg, would you please now give me that dance?
There is that too.
Whenever anything is on him, yes.
That is one of the dances.
There's also the one where you have your hand
behind your back.
Are you forgetting your hand behind your back. Yes this one I have seen for many
years that would also be the statue. Classic. But Greg is saying there should
be another statue a different statue bronze hollowed out are you winded from
those dances? No but I want to have a dignified statue of myself. I don't
think I don't think I want to mock myself with a dance move I think I want to have a dignified statue of myself. I don't think I want to mock myself with a dance move.
I think I want to stand regally at attention.
You are winded.
And I'm just, you know, I'm not Napoleon.
I don't want to have my hand in my shirt, but.
How about pen to paper or something like that, you know?
That's not a bad idea.
What age would you highlight?
I would say a youthful middle-age.
Okay.
Yeah. I want to be a pheromone.
A lot goes into this.
A lot goes into it. Exactly.
What kind of shirt are you wearing? What pattern? A lot goes into it.
A youthful middle- age, he says,
and then it sounded like a mummy coughing,
like just coughing dust.
The living artifact.
Thank you.
No stone can be left unturned in the making of a statue.
It lives forever if done right.
Yeah, it does.
And it will be bequeathed to my oldest son, probably,
in lieu of money
Leave mustache. Do you realize how grotesque that is as an inheritance in lieu of money? He's leaving you just from the beyond
Hollowed out bronze to him you think the lincoln's would want money in exchange for the Lincoln Memorial
youthfully middle-aged judging you from your lawn.
That's in the backyard.
Greg thinks long-term, gang.
Yeah I do.
It's eternal.
I want to be eternal.
That kind of thing.
We were talking about statue groepers yesterday.
Where would you like people to rub your statue for luck?
The belly.
I would.
You've been waiting all your life for that question to be answered.
The belly.
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Don Lebatard!
And then that staffer threw him 25 and 2
Oh, there's a brand new kid in town Show, with the StuGuts. I'm not kidding you when I say that he went effortlessly from the belly to the microphones
go off and then Greg Cody says, hey, remember that personal logo I was telling you about
last week that I was making?
I've made strides.
Wow.
Ooh, strides.
Tell us more.
There's an update to be made on a personal logo.
He is about to rummage through a bag now
and tell us what he's been working on.
This is the photo of myself.
You can see the tail fin of a late 1950s car.
You gotta hold it up so we can actually see it.
Yeah, Greg, how are you so proud of this?
Yeah, Roy knows.
That's back in the day when people used to drive for fun.
We talked about it yesterday.
And for those of you who are just tuning in and missed,
this is a response to Greg not liking Wemby's new logo.
Greg said he could make a logo better than Wemby's logo.
And by the way, this is intentionally a little off center,
not off center, but a little out of focus,
and I want that.
Is that 1440?
Yeah, it is.
Oh, wow.
Wow, can I see that?
Look at that.
And what we're gonna do is we're to look through it, look onto the photo in
kaleidoscope fashion.
Oh, I love it.
And make it round.
And across the cropped round photo, we're going to have words that convey a logo.
Let me stop everyone for a second because we've got a rare treat on our hands right now.
It's not quite an eclipse, but it's Greg Cody
in his late hour pride of going a little bit delusional
after a rare road rage incident
that brought him in all sorts of hot.
So I just need everyone to understand
that Greg Cody was just outside,
and one of the things he just belched at the room in general is, does anything go cold faster
than scrambled eggs?
Just shout it at the room, put it on the pole please,
Juju, does anything go cold faster than scrambled eggs?
And then out of nowhere, a burst in which Greg Cody
is in a room full of people and he's pantomiming
an aggressive bowling move.
He is pantomiming an aggressive bowling move.
He is pantomiming aggressively bowling and Roy says to him, be careful,
Greg, you're going to throw your back out. And Greg shouts across the room.
I'm going to throw my front out.
Just one of life's mysteries, Dan, how does coffee go cold,
but ice cream goes hot and melts same temperature? Who knows?
Chris, what do you have back there,
because your dad is derailing everything now?
I have him in the last segment.
We're gonna let that slide!
Coffee and ice cream are the same temperature?
Yeah, left out in a room, hot coffee will go cold,
and cold ice cream goes hot, how?
Who knows?
One's warming up the room temperature temperature the other one's cooling down uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I don't know what that sound is. Thank you, man. I don't know what that sound is. Ha ha ha ha.
I want those side by side.
I need them. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I What a picture, man. 1440. Yeah. You developed this in a dark room.
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a banana bike.
Look how blurry it is.
Anybody remember the banana bike with a banana seat?
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah, classic.
Schwinn.
So that's your logo?
Probably not.
We couldn't afford a Schwinn.
Just that with words around it?
I'm developing.
I'm cropping.
I'm trying to crop that, take it through a round thing.
And I'm envisioning what I want, but I need I don't necessarily have the technological know-how to
Create what I want, but I definitely have have a so your logo is your face
The logo you like Wendy's the logo is gonna be me at this age in front of 1440
Cropped to show just myself and the bicycle and maybe the tail fin of that
car. Maybe the awning as well, not sure where to crop it.
Those are good awnings. That was back in the day of hurricane shutter technology,
where you just kind of remove the poles, fold them down. We didn't need any of that.
That's correct. Windows that are hurricane resistant. Just fold down the awnings.
Right. And while Bill Cody, by the way, made that wall in the
left there. You gotta keep part of that wall in the logo, I think. Is that Radkeira? It
is Radkeira. Yeah. Yeah. Radkeira, 1440. So this is a tribute to Greg Cody's just general
artful narcissism. He's come back from Las Vegas, he wants a statue and a logo and the
logo of course is his face and his home and all the things
that are not interesting about him.
And that he finds wildly interesting.
And let me make it some art.
Let me come get in closer on my face.
How about more me?
You want a little more me?
How about my bicycle?
Does my bicycle also say me?
Do you want more me?
The beauty is you'll never bring my face into focus.
It will always be blurry and that's what I want.
Like the NBA logo.
That's what I want.
Yes, I mean the dolphin logo is a dolphin.
Excellent commentary by Stugats,
really bringing it in his 50s,
improving his game every day,
growing by the sentence.
Thank you, Stugats,
for all the effort you pour into this every day.
At being great, at being better than you were the day before.
What would your logo be?
You're an adult man. You're an adult human being.
You're just farting out a mascot commentary.
I was just pointing something out. I mean, Greg's on to something.
The dolphin logo is indeed a dolphin. The lion's a lion.
Thank you, Stu Gots. Excellent commentary, as always.
Greg logo's a Greg.
Are you coughing you'll all marvel when my official logo is presented I get between that and the statue I can't
wheezing threat barely get it out because he's not breathing well from the two dances he did behind me.
Right.
Greg, how was the trip to Los Angeles that you just took instead of going to the Masters
with your son?
It was great.
The wife and I had a wonderful time.
It was beyond magical.
The venue, the Hollywood Bowl, is just terrific.
We'd never been there before.
The concert itself, the bill was just, I mean, Paul McCartney, Eagles, Kenny Chesney, Snoop
Dogg, Pitbull, you know, a bunch of guests who did video only, including, thank God,
somebody did sing Lovely Cruise Cruise or else I would have
Nixed the entire concert as a failure, but I did get to hear
Lovely Cruise by Dave Matthews on a video. So it was great. I saw the clip of Margaritaville where it looked like
People did not know the words to the song. Right. He was the
Outlier on the bill I would say but he played that one song of his that's absolutely terrific. I didn't know it, but I have a set list here.
What was Will Arnett doing on stage in the middle of that?
Yeah, everybody wondered what was Will Arnett doing on stage. I have no idea.
Being a celebrity.
It felt a little, when I saw the clips, it felt a little weird. Like, it was just like,
like the music people should be up there. Why is Woody Harrelson up there? Yeah? Well all of them had a connection to Jimmy Buffett, but they liked them
No, they they told stories they vacationed with them. They were friendly
It was meant to be was it not a bit of his musician friends throwing their funeral tribute. Yes
Yeah, and pitbull by the way did Don't Stop the Party,
which I didn't know by name, but it's a well-known... You wrote down the setlist? Yeah, you know,
it's online. He does have the setlist here, Stu Gottz. Snoop Dogg did Gin and Juice, which is a
classic of his. He didn't write it down, but what Greg Cody got to do is just sort of rummage around in his old album collection.
And while I saw this on the internet webs as well telling everybody, yeah I had a hookup here,
you should have seen all the beer I drank for free. Well I had a hookup, somebody recognized
me from the show, it's why it's all gone to my head. Have you heard of Hee Haw 3? Maybe they'll
play for the next legend who died. Yeah, I wanted to thank
Thank my benefactor. What was their name?
Jose baldett us exactly. What did he give you? Well, I didn't I didn't take advantage of him. He offered to
Give me drinks and food throughout the night. I did let him you were you were a genuine celebrity. Well
That's not good. How many times did you hit him with the I'll have one more well
He I ended up my dad's move and now you don't want to get carried away
We got a couple of free
They didn't have Miller line got a couple of free
You know they had margarita in a can ran out early in the evening
Margarita feeling you know that's the parrot head's drink of
choice. So the wife had a couple of margarita cans, which sounds awful, margarita in a can,
but I'm sure it was good. But he was nice. Jose, thank you again for your hospitality.
But he recognized you. You were thrilled to be spotted in the wild.
We had great seats, thanks to my wife. You know, if I'm buying the tickets, we'd have
been about 150 yards from the stage way up the hill
But this was one of the greatest nights of your life. Yeah, I would say in a concert context. It was yeah
You know, I've been on stage with Elton John in Las Vegas
Forming well, you know on stage we had
Second row seats which qualified us we had stage for the encore encore this was not that but it was wonderful it was great I
cannot speak highly enough I've heard a rumor that I just started that there's
going to be a continuation of Jimmy Buffett tribute shows across the country
but none will be like this Paul McC McCartney, singing the song he sang at Jimmy
Buffett's dying bedside in September, it was an emotional night because everybody had a
great story. Brandy Carlisle is one of my favorites and she told a story about her relationship
with Jimmy. Actually, one of the few artists, and this was a very disappointment to me,
big disappointment, one of the artists that was cold
up there and didn't really acknowledge Jimmy or sing any
of his songs was Eagles, which was a big disappointment
because they were the cold.
All the Eagles, like Don Henley?
Eagles, yeah.
What were they there for if they didn't acknowledge Jimmy
or sing his songs?
Who are you accusing of what?
The Eagles.
Jaws?
But you don't know who you're...
You didn't do them the courtesy.
You're going to call them out now publicly.
Right.
You want me to recite every member of the band?
But who was there?
It wasn't going to be...
Was it all the Eagles?
Except for Glenn Fry who died a couple of years ago.
It was all the Eagles, yeah.
Jason Kelsey?
No.
Seth Joyner?
No.
And Taylor Swift was not there either.
I mean really, Kelsey was good enough.
He limps in with that shit. You follow it up with more shit?
You gotta throw a Taylor Swift out there.
Jason Kelsey was fine. You guys couldn't let his joke be the best joke?
You had to limp in with shitty your joke?
Why would Taylor be with Jason?
That's a good point. I heard Kelsey.
Family.
And furthermore, I I asked you you don't
even know if it's not Eagles it was the weirdest part my dad's like Eagles you
don't okay the Eagles don't use the the okay should I'm not making that up
clean it's the name of the group is Eagles if you look at any of their
albums it does not say how many of them but how many of them were there it's the
original look Joe Walsh is part of the band. What are you accusing them? I'm accusing them of not
Bending the knee to Jimmy Buffett, you're right. Everybody else was telling a Jimmy Buffett story a personal story
Eagles were being Eagles either that are singing one of his songs
They were the only group that did three songs and none of them was a Buffett song. Disrespectful to the memory of Jimmy Buffett. I heard it.
I did. I heard it as disrespect. So did my wife. Without solicitation she
volunteered. How weird it was that Eagles said nothing about Jimmy, did not perform a song, did their three songs.
This is a new and improved Don Leventhal show with the Stugats, gambled on by DraftKings.
Don Leventhal. He for some reason would do a Gary Stevens impersonation of the offensive coordinator
of the Miami Dolphins and the University of Miami. Go ahead, do you want to do that for the people?
Your Gary Stevens impersonation?
You want to give people some of that?
30 years in the making.
Stoogats.
What?
Who needs me?
Oh, that?
I haven't done that in my whole life.
You're gonna go to Buffalo and win with Bernie Palmoli?
Who needs me?
This is the Dan LeVatar Show with the StuGats.
This is an amazing fact.
The Eagles did the Eagles and didn't do the Eagles.
Right.
That's true.
You know, Freddie Mitchell?
Yeah, that, he was shaking your head at that one, huh?
Seth Joyner.
Seth Joyner and he got, oh, Taylor Swift.
Fart out a joke.
Let me get in on the bad jokes.
Taylor Swift, fart.
Fart noise.
I'm not even trying.
So easy for me to be funny.
He comes in with Seth Joyner,
I'm gonna fart out of Taylor Swift.
I'm an entertainer.
She would have made more sense than Will Arnett.
Oh yeah, that's true.
For being honest.
No, Chad, Will Arnett.
So you guys were laughing about a Vern Lundquist photo.
It appears that Chris Cody just learned
that it was not a tree shaking the hand of Tiger Woods
in a seismic legendary moment at the Masters.
It was not a tree with a flabby white arm
that was old and said the Masters.
It was Verne Lundquist was behind a tree.
After 40 years of broadcasting the Masters,
he did not want to take the shine away from Tiger Woods,
who was finishing again in last place.
What shine are you taking away?
Taking away, he wanted Tiger Woods and the Masters
to get the moment, not him.
So all you see there is a single arm
of an old white master, a legend.
Vern Lundquist gave his arm to Tiger Woods
and it was an iconic photograph taken at the Masters.
I want to though, go to some Holly Anderson reporting.
Some people are saying, Mark Nagy is saying
this is some of the finest reporting he has ever seen done.
And Mark Nagy is saying that you should never forget
that Vern Lundquist is Mr. Steel Yo Girl.
It's the story of how Vern Lundquist met his third
and current wife, are you ready?
In the words of Vern Lundquist, who looks and current wife. Are you ready? In the words of Vern Lundquist,
who looks like a soap bubble and is a legend
and deserves his sendoff as just an arm in Tiger Woods life.
We met in a bar, and I hasten to add,
it was an upscale bar in Dallas.
It was a place called Arthur's.
And you gotta keep in mind,
Vern Lundquist is of a time,
and he's a poet, and he's a voice for our times
I'm not gonna lie. You kind of sounded like I'm there. I'm gonna close my eyes channeling
I walked in after I did the 10 o'clock news with WFA a TV in Dallas and I just didn't want to go home
Nancy and her date were at the bar and her date recognized me from local television and
Invited me over to
have a drink. He introduced me to his date and her name was Nancy Miller. It
was their first date, a blind date. So we sat and chatted and her date Raymond
Willie said to me, listen I know you're single I'm gonna fix you up with a
friend of mine and we can all go to dinner. He looked at Nancy and asked her
dinner. He looked at Nancy and asked her, dinner. He looked at Nancy and asked her, what are you doing Thursday night? She
said nothing. He said, good, you'll be my date. We'll fix Vern up with his school
teacher friend of mine and we'll go to dinner. Meanwhile, I'm looking at Nancy
thinking, she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen in my life. So Raymond finally
left to take care of his business
and I asked Nancy,
so how involved are you with Raymond?
She said, oh this is our first date
and it's a blind date.
So I said, well forget what he's talking about
on Thursday night.
What are you doing on Saturday night?
And she said, I think I'm doing whatever you're doing.
Wow.
My man.
Wow, Verne. Wow, Vern.
So how involved are you with Raymond?
That's right, Vern.
Making it happen with a growl.
It's not quite Tyson.
It's a little more Greg Cody coughing and wheezing,
but he will.
Baby, baby.
Vern got the burn. Oh wow. Yeah. He got it going on.
Got the burn.
Damn right.
Vern got the burn.
Put that on a logo.
Yes.
Thank you.
Those will be flying off the Levitard and Merch Store shelves.
Vern got the burn.
And it'll give it to you.
Yeah.
Great.
Or a photo of Vern as a tree shaking someone's hand.
She's shaking someone's hand.
She's shaking someone's hand.
She's shaking someone's hand.
She's shaking someone's hand.
She's shaking someone's hand. She's shaking someone's hand. She's shaking someone's hand. She's shaking someone's hand. She's shaking someone's hand. got the burn and I'll give it to you yeah great or a photo of burn as a tree
shaking someone's hand shaking Nancy Miller's hand in black and white future
wife's hand as a tree that's a great for a t-shirt
ha ha ha Verlunk was as tree, shaking the hand of a woman
nobody knows.
That's a photo.
That's his tree, future Mrs. Tree.
That's a T-shirt right there.
Give me somebody to burn might not be too positive there.
You know what I mean?
You're right.
Across the top, Verne got the burn.
Feel the verne.
We don't wanna imply that we're burning down trees.
No, never.
Smokey the bear would be out there waving a big paw at us.
Feel the ver.
That is as polite as that could be done, right?
How involved are you?
Like if you're gonna just steal someone's date?
Very polite.
So you're saying his signature line in an action movie
would be some form of Lothario feel the ver.
That's what you guys are saying is the movie poster
is he slides in, you're on your date.
I have him saying it.
You're unsuspecting, you're on your date.
You let your guard down for a second.
Who's gonna slide into your life and steal your girl
and say feel the verne?
Would she like to feel the verne?
Not on Thursday night, how about Saturday night?
I'm doing whatever you do, I'm feeling the Vern.
I'm doing whatever you're doing, that's goosebumps.
Vern Lundquist telling his own story.
At least he was classy enough to ask how involved.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a question.
Oh, a gentleman.
A gentleman and a scholar.
A gentleman and a thief.
A thief for sure.
You think his move is any different if he says very involved?
Yeah. How about second guess?
You think Berm backs off?
I don't know, but we can only be left to guess because he did it the most efficient way possible.
With a gentleman's grace, he's the gentleman thief.
You can ask all your hypothetical questions, but with his third wife, he did it correctly.
Play your second guess as much as you like.
Do as much as you like like trying to tell us how you
Would have done it better
But he got the girl did it politely and we're marveling at the way that he did it first guy would have been down to watch
What
Feel burn it was what's his name it would have been funnier
I wish I'd remember because he remembered the name has burned in the retelling of the story. This is what he knew his first and last name.
That's it. Well, wait a minute
Nancy's the prettiest thing he's ever seen
And he remembers that fool's name and he would like everyone to know it.
How many times do they-
Raymond Willie is his name
Raymond Willie
How many times do you think Vern used that line? You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen
Oh, with his first two wives, I'm guessing.
Hey!
I mean, come on, third wife.
Vern got the burn, burn, burn, that kind of thing.
That kind of thing.
That kind of thing, yeah.
Feel the Willie is a little different.
You really mailed that in there.
Can you do me the courtesy of some of your signature?
Go ahead, what were you saying your signature lines right can you deliver
them with some enthusiasm instead of just farting them out of the side of
your mouth they don't all warrant enthusiasm how about a back in my day
you got one of those today you know what I don't know. It's a veteran rest day. Yeah, travel. WNBA draft last night. LA traffic.
Veteran rest.
Play-in week, yeah.
Or at the season.
Play-offs about to start, yeah?
Billy, you mentioned something earlier.
You said that you got,
and I don't know how often this happens to anyone else
here in this group.
I suspect it might happen to Tony.
I doubt it happens to Jeremy.
But you mentioned stumbling on the television
into the Spanish feed.
Oh yeah.
And when I do that, I will stay on many of the movies
that are in the Spanish feed.
I will stay on them for a while.
I know why.
Well, yes.
Different movie?
There are many, there are many, there are many,
there are many reasons to listen to the Spanish feed.
The number of times that I've been watching a movie that's like 14 seconds of action silence,
there are no words, and then all of a sudden
The Rock is speaking in Spanish?
Yeah.
I'm in the middle of a Disney,
like we put on the Spanish version of Disney movies for my daughter now
And it's a totally different experience not that we've ever discussed so anyone cares
I wonder if anyone else does this because we wanted to be bilingual and speak English and Spanish
So like I know a lot of the famous Disney songs
But the version in Spanish right now throws me off, but it's not a fight worth having with my wife
But this is the easiest time before six years old is you, and how you learn a new language, the easiest.
And so if you want your child to be bilingual,
that is a shortcut.
Yes, Dan, I had an experience yesterday
that we haven't discussed that I wanted to share with you
because I thought that you would appreciate it.
Is this what you texted me last night?
It is what I texted you.
Can I set it up, please, for the audience?
Absolutely.
Okay, thank you.
Because I don't think in 20 years doing this, Billy has ever unsolicited, volunteered a
story like this that comes at his expense.
Yeah.
Chris Cody, do you have for me, because I think-
He usually tries to find yours.
That's correct.
But Billy offered me in the middle of the night, just something he knew would delight me of both his frailty and his,
you know, his neighbors must think
that he's at least a little bit terrifying.
For what?
No, in that area, it's commonplace, what I was doing.
Okay, but when I explain this to the audience,
they will understand why it's not commonplace.
So Billy has told you before,
he may have introduced America to El Afilador.
El Afilador comes around your neighborhood and he will sharpen your knives. He will sharpen the
things that you need to cook properly but the sound that he makes is horror movie horrifying.
That is the truck in the neighborhood telling the people, hey, come on out, do you want your knives sharpened?
You want your hearing shattered.
Horrifying ice cream truck.
That is more terrifying than Tyson.
And so Billy, called by his siren song,
wanders out into his front yard.
Well, because this is what happened,
is that I heard that sound, but I heard it off in the distance.
And I could I
Surmised that it was driving in the block behind me
But was going to make a turn around and come down my block and my machete right now is very dull
So I needed a good sharpening
So as soon as I heard it I ran into the house and I'm like I need the keys
I need the keys to get them shedding from the shed and I was asking my like Oh quickly quickly. I need I need to get the machete from the shed. And I was asking him, I was like,
quickly, quickly, I need it, I need it,
I can't miss this guy, he's coming around,
we never know what, because that's the thing,
there's no schedule, you just hear the sound
and you never know when it's going to happen again.
That is so true, Billy, there is no schedule,
it's not an appointed time.
No.
But Jeremy is looking at you the right way,
yes, somewhere in South Florida last night,
as night fell, a Billy Gill was running into and out
of his home with a dull machete that he was yelling
he needed to have sharpened immediately.
Absolutely.
What is the price of that, by the way?
How much does that cost?
You know, prices vary.
So I was going in there because I had a number of things.
My wife was also saying, you know, our kitchen knives
are a little dull, but why don't we experiment?
Because you never know, it's never the same person,
prices vary, so it's like, well, let's go out
and let's get the machete sharpened first,
then we'll get a sense for the pricing and the work,
and then we'll decide, do we want our kitchen knives
also sharpened?
So I got it, I ran out there, I got it,
I'm running out there with it, it's in,
as I pointed out, it's scabbard,
so for safety purposes, it's in there.
And then I'm standing kind of like right on the grass
on the edge of the sidewalk waiting for it
with this giant knife, just kind of hold,
I'm also kind of holding it so it can be seen,
so if the person tries by, they know I mean business,
I'm there to get this sharpened.
And I had it, I was out there a good five, six minutes,
and then I just didn't hear the sound anymore.
And I had a Zoom meeting that I had to do
about this thing that's gonna come up next week,
so I had to kinda go in,
because there was a lot of people on it,
and I was, you know, I play a role in that meeting,
so I had to be part of it.
So then I had to kinda just walk back
with my tail between my legs,
back into my house with this dull knife,
and then I also had to figure out where do I put this,
because I have to have it nearby in case they come by again because again you never know
when they're gonna come by but not in a place that my daughters could grab it and kill each
other.
If I ran out there with a Mercedes like that I would be shot.