The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: GIVE ME THE DREAM
Episode Date: October 5, 2023The awkward company dynamics continue, but for a different reason: Amin's rivalry with Jessica's dog, Willow. Their rivalry leads to a newfound one between Amin and Mike, and you can cut the tension w...ith a knife. In the midst of all of that, the crew tries to get to WNBA expansion, Michael Penix Jr., Messi, and networks playing free Taylor Swift commercials. Plus, Kyle Brandt is here to talk all things NFL and compare starting QBs to foods. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dunluba Tarshou with the StugatSpotcast.
I need legitimate help from our group here on how it is to run our company.
Not just this show, the company that is birthing a network with draft kings, both of us start
ups in a way.
We as a media company them as a content maker that is banking on us to make everything
we're making around here.
Building a business that has 44 employees now,
and is in Miami and New York,
and next week some of us are gonna go to Hollywood
because Adam McKay wants to do stuff with us
that would make us, be able to make cool things.
But inside of this weird workplace,
which was never meant to exist as like a vibrating media business that
makes deals LA, New York and Miami.
We have all sorts of daily corporate tensions that are unaccounted for or somebody's not
paying attention to because we don't have a normal work environment.
I mean, it's afraid of dogs.
I'm not afraid.
I mean, doesn't want a dog here.
I don't know what workplace rules are on this stuff, but I mean, it's less comfortable
with dogs than most people than anyone else here. I think I've got this right.
Other than Samson. Samson, yeah, I ran away from Willow once. But I like to speak on behalf of my
client, really quick, amino-hassen. Thank you. My client is not afraid of dogs. He has a distrust of dogs he doesn't know.
Jessica, how has the experience been?
I love dogs.
I'd like more dogs here if you guys want to bring,
but I don't know what the rules about this should be.
Rules are you can't bring animals to the office.
What?
It's pretty straightforward.
Those are rules you want more dogs.
I love dogs.
Yeah, I'd love to have more dogs.
Go do your show at a dog park then. We should do that. That's such a good idea.
We should do that. We should do that.
An idea factory, my friend. That is a wonderful idea.
On behalf of my client, she's a good little girl. She's so nice.
Samson, Samson running from her is hysterical. It was. She is vicious.
She's not vicious. That's super intimidating dog. She ripped his pants off. Oh, I mean, do you make any
Distinctions like the old copper tone add the famous copper tone add where the exactly
Yes, and they look so small in her mouth.
A cabbage patch doll outfit. Well, this would have been visually perfect
if our video crew had been paying attention.
Samson riding the dog.
Yes.
Samson, come on, it's funny.
Him running away, this dog, I don't know
if you can make these distinctions.
I can as someone who loves dogs.
That dog must be harmless.
Like, I don't know if there's a lot of growling.
I don't know if it's ever.
Must be.
Have you seen it fight Jessica?
Does it fight?
Bart?
Yeah, other than when she ripped the guy's arm off
outside of the Elser, she's been really good.
Oh yeah.
And her defense don't touch without asking.
You know what?
Maybe someone should tell her that.
No, it wasn't a touch thing.
The guy actually was talking about basketball
and she didn't like his take.
That's what triggers her, actually.
Why?
You just have to be careful about that.
Oh, that's your endangered.
What am I supposed to do if it means afraid of dogs?
And I'm afraid of dogs.
Again, not afraid.
Well, he's active.
He has a healthy distrust for dogs.
He doesn't know.
We know.
Pick a side, Dan.
Have you tried to get to know him?
Willow at all.
Well, it is like, to a means point.
I love Willow.
But can everyone bring their animal?
Because then we would all of a sudden
to be like, all right, maybe there's too many animals here.
So only these ones can come.
So it's just a slippery slope.
Willow's a good girl.
I'm gonna say right now, there's someone here,
I'm not gonna name names, it's someone here
who was mining their business,
walking from the kitchen back into the studio,
and accidentally stepped slash kicked the dog by accident.
It wasn't on purpose, but like, because no one's worried or should be worried And accidentally step slash kick the dog by accident.
It wasn't on purpose, but like,
cause no one's worried or should be worried
about what's under foot every time I take a step around here.
Oh, is there an animal here?
Every time somebody takes a step.
Yeah, but what happened after that?
Well, I'm just saying that's just,
nothing, that's a tremendous thing.
Surely this vicious dog would attack you.
Well, I mean, it wasn't me, so I didn't say it was me.
So then what happened? Ask the person what happened after. Well, I mean, it wasn't me, so I didn't say it was me. So then what happened?
Ask the person what happened, the after.
Well, I'm not gonna ask anything
because then you guys will know if I start talking to Dan
after we're gonna say,
Oh, Dan was the person who did it.
No, I don't need to.
I don't need to because I don't need to divulge my sources.
That's true.
That's called journalism.
Maybe every Thursday is pet day,
and we all bring it up.
How about this?
You know what?
Monday's and Tuesday's, I'm not here.
Have a zoo.
Get wrong, get a zoo day.
With the snakes and the eagles and the alligators
and everything else.
To God hates those, though, he gets too scared.
To God's.
To God's, to God's, to God's called 911 on a frog.
I think Willow would be scared of a snake.
She's never met one, though.
Oh! She's intrigued by slugs.
Oh, so Willow's got things that she doesn't like being around.
Okay, so Willow's comfortable.
She's most comfortable here on Wednesdays and Thursdays,
weeks that you tend to be here weirdly.
I don't know how it works out that way,
but that's when she's comfortable.
Yeah, I mean, I got a very easy solution to this.
I can just not come back to the studio. Whoa, I mean, I can't do easy solution to this. I can just not come back to the studio.
Whoa, I mean, I can't have it with you.
You know, we love having you.
Willow or a mean.
Okay, Willow, go sit on the therapy couch with a mean.
Oh, no.
Go sit on the therapy couch with a mean.
I thought you were sitting in the dog out.
Willow and the penalty box with you.
Both of you, but Willow and a mean on the therapy couch,
both of them, right now.
Let's get Willow, Mike.
I don't know if my clients's ready to do that right now.
This is real, yes, we're doing this right now.
Dan, you're putting my client in danger.
I have something, something happens out there.
It's on your hands.
Tony, yes, well, excuse me, why?
I just ain't got enough to go to the therapy.
Because I don't want to go to the couch at the dog.
The law is the law.
Slow down on liability stuff.
This is why I can't run this company correctly.
You can't have fun and be corporate.
I'm not a law. This isn't fun. You betrayed the law. This is not the corporate liability stuff. This is why I can't run this company correctly. You can't have fun and be corporate. I'm not allowed.
This isn't fun.
You betrayed the law.
This is not the corporate nor fun.
What you're doing.
To send you out of the room
because you don't belong here
and put you on the couch with the dog.
I will happily leave the room and go to the couch.
I don't want to go to the couch with the dog.
I knew you'd say that.
I'd like fearful therapy.
I'd like you a distrustful therapy for therapy. Yeah, I want his real and
I want his real and honest thoughts at the depths of this is what therapy supposed to be man
It's not supposed to be a joke every time. Oh, come on. It's supposed to be introspective
She's waiting for you
Normal workplace. Get over there. They go ahead and then wipe the rest
Yeah, like a normal workplace get over there. They go ahead and then wipe the rest I'm gonna be a jump now. Come on. I mean get out there. Please just get out there and he
Jessica's way we listen girl. No, no, I know just making sure you guys are oh you're talking about a meat
You know you weren't just making sure
Make sure everyone had it here's the problem that I have with sending him to the therapy catch right now
I also need know you get out of here go get out of here here. Make sure everyone had it. Here's the problem that I have with sending him to the therapy catch right now.
I also need, no, get out of here.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Yes, go over there.
But I also need Jessica in here for something I need to do with video and Jessica was telling
me.
She's animal training right now.
I know she's field producing.
Okay.
She's field producing in the other room where I have corporate issues because I really don't
know what to do about somebody's a, not afraid afraid of a dog but doesn't want a dog around.
And somebody else, I don't know when
dog day became around here, who allowed that?
That was not something, like I'd like to bring my dog.
I just hadn't thought to do it.
We'd love to have your dog.
Is your dog a good boy?
Do we have, yes, except when he's not.
Okay, so that's 70.
Oh, no.
70, get into dog talk there.
Yes.
70, a bad boy.
Because he's 70, it's a bad boy because he's seven eights a bad boy
He is he is he knows it, but we only love good boys
One eighth of him is a good boy though
If it's your good boy, yeah, that's the part that won't come here though. It'll only be seven eights the bad boy
No, that's what it is what it'll be it it don't bring the cat no cats
No, the cat why told you guys the other day. I got punctured man like trying to break up a fight between a tiny little
Tabby cat 13 pounds and a pit bull that was bad
That's one of the worst experiences of my life
But I'm glad that Jessica's back because she's got video. She said Taylor found more awkward video from that watch party
Yesterday and I have not seen or heard about what this video
is either.
Well this video explains a lot, Dan, which is...
We already heard, like, he read the quote, it's just an unnecessary, it's me just being
mean to David Samson.
Chris being mean to David Samson, not knowing the whole time he was in the YouTube chat,
trying to get an invite onto the stream.
So that is why when Chris, when David came on to it,
Chris was very sheepish because he had been,
he realized David heard his mean comment.
Well, Jessica's so much more comfortable
with this awkwardness than the rest of you.
Like I don't understand.
Watch the video.
I don't think anyone was comfortable with that.
All right, let's hear this video and let's watch it.
I'm sorry.
Speaking of David Samson, you ever just like meet someone
in your life and you're like,
this is the shadiest person I know.
Let's go, Panthers. Look at that.
Francis has a talent.
Like a four-second silence.
The rest of you didn't just...
There was context before that.
It was an unfair edit right there.
Context, what are you doing?
We were just talking about shadiness.
Like I wouldn't just out of nowhere be like,
you know the shadiest person I know is,
like it's just, there was some pretext to that,
but I don't feel good about that.
Bad look.
Why is a mean just sitting next to the dog?
I love how a mean doesn't get the couch.
He's scared.
I mean, what's your schedule?
It's the dog couch.
I mean, how do you feel about everything that's happening here?
You've got to get on the therapy couch.
You got such a good girl, not on that couch.
You've got to lay down.
You need me to bad boy.
Where am I going to lay down lay the dog is stretching and the end
With hair everywhere by the way, wait a minute smelling lawful put your hand out like
Not for your hand even all of branch if anyone else was told that they got a bath this weekend and it's Thursday
We'd all call them gross, but the dog it's fine ask her for pa. I mean she'll give you pa. I'm not trying to get out
Okay, but you can't do the bit.
You can't do the therapy.
Couch it.
Sounds like it was a terrible produced idea right to have a dog lay out on
the couch and then just send a mean out there to go lay down.
Cuddle though.
That must be a great cuddle.
No, no.
How sad she is that you don't want to cuddle.
He's not. Be hilarious if she shit on the couch right now. That's what I'm is that you don't want to cuddle. He's not.
It does.
Be hilarious if she's shit on the couch right now.
That's the point.
She wouldn't because you said you could cuddle.
It's pointed right at me, Chris.
I could see right in the back.
Are you afraid of an animal's ass?
I mean, be all.
Yes.
Oh, so that's what this is about.
Well, I mean, it's an unclean animal.
Yes.
I am not attracted to the idea of being right next to
what is very clearly an anus.
That's what I'm looking at.
On a cover.
But you're next to an anus when you're in Stugat's, too.
Yeah, that's true.
He's got layers on.
I'm assuming he's got more than-
She's got layers on.
Not on her anus.
Love it hard, show shirt.
Nope, her anus is free and clear. I feel like she knows we're talking about her. No, she doesn't. That's the layers on. Not on her anus. Love it, Tarte, so short. Nope, her anus is pretty clear.
Feel like she knows we're talking about her.
Well, she doesn't.
That's the other way.
You're hurting your feet.
She has no idea.
I'm like Samson.
She doesn't understand that this is a studio
and these are people who work here with her master.
You just like, where's the treat?
Yeah, she's just like, hey, when am I gonna eat?
She has no idea, hey, you're stupid.
See, it doesn't know anything.
Whoa.
It doesn't speak English. We heard Whoa! It doesn't speak English!
We heard it!
It doesn't speak English!
You look ugly too.
No!
I'm calling!
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Different is calling. Don Lebertard. Common thread was Stugots churning it up with Aaron Rodgers.
Yep, I didn't. I met my quarterback.
Yeah, as you know, as you know,
Sue Gatz didn't talk to Aaron Rodgers.
No.
Sue Gatz thought country music superstar, Jacobin,
was Aaron Rodgers.
They had a 20 minute conversation.
Identical twins. I mean Jesus.
Stugats.
Listen, I will never have the relationship with Aaron Rogers
that I have with the guy that I thought was Aaron Rogers.
I have.
So the winner.
I mean, that is the greatest conversation
I've ever had with my quarterback.
VCC Don Limita Show with a Stugats.
The dog is now upset.
No it's upset.
I mean, you're upset because you're fighting with Mike during the break.
You're saying that you have material, that you want the ball in the post.
I've got a dream to give you guys.
And Mike was shaking his head.
No, I don't want to hear your dreams anymore.
They go on too long.
They ramble. The audience doesn't find them interesting.
And I think they're interesting, but they take up entire segments in the unspooling.
And so Mike and I mean, we're arguing about whether or not the dream that you had was worthy of the show.
Two things, he said, your dreams are too long.
I said, this one isn't long, as Dan, because I just told Dan the dream.
Number one, number two, I've never said,
ooh, I gotta tell you guys my dream.
I said, it also all started with,
I write my dreams down.
And you guys said, you write your dreams down
and I said, yes, tell us a dream.
And then I read what I wrote down.
Look, you're very clearly gonna get
to the dream this segment.
So please spare me the preamble and just get to it.
I don't like your home.
Well, you're with Willow, you're with me. Well now you just
give more people work. This is when you run a company, you get all the problems, the
factions, things break apart because you're allowed a dog in the building. Exactly. Willow's
actually editing now, so it's more work for Willow. Yeah, okay. Good luck with that. This
is a funny visual with Willow editing. A is uh... upset about a number of different
they were my lunch
about how he doesn't like how we're using him
oddball he doesn't feel the support supported
and it
he doesn't think that oddball is supported enough by metal art media
and i don't know that he's that he's wrong i'm sitting here looking i've got a
whole bunch of
of video clips from all over the network, tons of them in front of me.
I don't have anything from Oddball
to promote what he's doing with Charlotte Wilder,
which is a show, and if you know this backstory,
it's important to me.
A main chose to throw his life in the air
and his career in the air, and I'm gonna go do something
with my life.
What's the dream? Let's go!
The dream is to build something at MetalLark that people love because Oddball is a sensation.
Infrastructure, hard to build a company during the pandemic and playing in the skies.
Oddball not on Mondays, what's the dream?
It took us 50 episodes to get Charlotte in a studio by the way, in New York.
50, 50.
That's, you know what?
You guys have done 50 episodes?
This today was episode 51 that we take into the,
thank you, thank you.
The dream?
50 episodes though, Charlotte in the wild.
We're not gonna get the dream.
It's her name.
Mike, what we're gonna do is we're gonna do,
look, I'm sorry, this is why Mike's upset,
everyone should know it.
He's been wanting to talk messy for about three sets.
Oh, we get it, he's hurt.
No, I'm from, oh, how long did he hurt? He's really wanting to talk messy for about three sets. Oh, we get it. He's hurt. No, I know.
Oh, long time no see.
He's hurt. He's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really Listen and do it live no one's listening Four minutes now give me the
Dreams got a good point here. Just give me the dream. Let's move on
Give me the dream. I've been dreaming about WMBA expansion for like 10 years now
And they're finally announced a new team in the Bay Area. You're about time. You're being helpful. Thank you
Just please listen to me. Hey, is Messi gonna play?
Is this?
This Thursday, the whole attitude where everybody's working for the weekend and just like,
now listening, trying to do a show here.
I think you're going to clips that I said, we're good enough for the show.
You're just doing your own thing.
Just give me the shitty dream.
Let's move on and get to Cal brand
team odd ball is not good enough for the
way I was saying that you were in that one
I'm not sure if I was just like I just everyone's just having fun dogs everywhere
like pets heads are falling off I have a deep
brief after every goddamn segment today I I just wanna do the show.
Do the dream thing.
All right, so we will get to that in a second.
Ah.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
I gotta explain the Samsung dynamic.
I don't want to, I don't wanna do the,
you're on baseball in the market.
Clearly.
I didn't.
Why doesn't Billy wanna talk to him?
I don't know, I haven't listened to my own cast members for the last 20 years
Just do the what's the dream?
What was the dream?
I forgot it
I hate when that happens come on you have it and then you forget come on
Give us the messy give it Mike your father. I don't want to do it I'll do the your your father. I don't want to do it
I'll do the messy I'm I don't want to do it tomorrow. I'm not I don't want to do it today
I just want to hear the stream in the worst way your bothered by the way your team is going out this season
You paid season tickets for a man. You are around a popular thing and you're bothered the last three segments
Cuz you haven't been able to talk about what's going if you try to force feed this messy segment
I'm going to talk Michael panics. How how your season takes over next year
Huh, I'm gonna talk about that. You got a mortgage. You got a mortgage out on that yet talk about it
Dan you made a messy. I want to talk about Michael panics. I
Love him is a quarter of the time. He's throwing a deep ball. It's pretty crazy
I love him is a quarter back. Pennix for the next right? Yeah, it looks like college game day is gonna be at that Oregon
I love him as a quarterback. Penix with an X, right?
Yeah, got it.
Looks like college game day is gonna be at that Oregon
Washington game next week.
I hope they give it that 3.30 window,
so everyone can see how astonishing this quarterback is.
Remember, he was pretty astonishing a couple of years ago,
and he made Indiana football.
Indiana, that's the only time I've ever paid attention
to Indiana footballs when they got it.
Oh, and Juan Randallo would like a word.
That team was fun.
That dude was good.
That team was fun.
Fair enough, but I didn't pay attention until I saw this quarterback at Indiana making
Indiana play the same football.
The big schools were playing.
Are you excited about the slate this weekend in college football?
Because in pro football, I know that everybody wants to chew up now, wants to chew up.
It seems like all of this is more important than it's ever been.
I look, I know we have this aboard in the back, so I'm going to do my best, but there was an
Andrew Morshan report that kind of sent me that the NFL has been asking networks to run free
commercials for a music artist's upcoming movie. What was born out of the Super Bowl halftime offer
that was reportedly rejected?
Was this what was born out of it?
No, let's do something bigger than the Super Bowl.
A marketing plan?
Let's do a season long story arc
where I date a star player.
This is a great conspiracy theory right here.
I've not heard this.
Is this out there?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no you're too too no no no no wait a minute wait a minute
why is the nfl asking networks and by the way too obliged
reportedly
e-s-b-n-n-m-b-c
obliged and ran free commercials for this movie
what is going on here
why would the nfl be so invested in that movie?
Are you willing to go down the the greasiest and most brilliantly evil path of the NFL
did not know how to market to women and somebody had an idea that was better than the ways
they've been doing it. Let's invite Taylor Swift over to what we're doing
and we'll create a soap opera
because it's all scripted, right?
The NFL every week, we know it to be scripted.
All of it.
I wanted to believe in what Travis Kelsey told us
that he obviously pulled the move.
I tried to pass a note to her at her concert.
She wasn't interested and then maybe Taylor Swift reads that. Oh, dammit.
We were already there.
It's not just about the name.
We were there.
Yeah, you're right.
Okay, but I wanted to believe in that.
Okay, he's a charming man.
I was said, SNL, he's a superstar.
She's such a gay star.
All face, now you guys are all in a face.
I didn't want to believe that.
She's a cheerleader and he's the cat.
Yeah.
The whole thing. I believe it. I think it's real
I think there I wanted to but the NFL asking its network partners to run free commercials for Taylor Swift's upcoming
No, but wait a minute the thing that Mike said there that makes the
Sinister I feel like it's the end of a saw movie right now, but it's there have been carry-always was in on it the whole time
There've been ten saw movies ten of them can't be true
That's got it's got good reviews so X there's ten saws haven't we seen
Oh
Sorry, I thought that was the loser game show sound
I hit the nicks. I thought it was funny. No. No. You know what?
You betrayed me. Who was it? I hit the nicks. You betrayed the. Yes. I hit the nicks. Mike's
been my ally. Mike's been looking weird. He's an ego monster. This is why I've been chill.
The entire friggin show. You've been bubbling. Because then we were gonna, I said,
don't go to a means dreams.
They go nowhere, they're droning,
and they're not nearly as interesting as he thinks they are.
They are incredibly interesting, but also,
I am. What did you do?
You went right to it.
Yeah, you know why?
Cause he knows good content.
20 years on air, Mike.
Look, he got me.
He just pokes me with a fork.
It's not the Mike Levitard show
And then sometimes he thinks so though. What is that supposed to be? I'm just saying what is I think it's the Mike Levitard show?
I'm looking at my Ryan show, wouldn't it? I know I
Wait, did I take a good show take his last name? Good show. That would be a good show. I'd pour my heart into this shit. I have for 20 years.
And I don't know if you've noticed,
but things are changing around here.
I'm getting more involved again.
And right, I'm trying to elevate us.
And you're not doing me anything.
As a company. You're putting me in a box, man.
I don't want to know the box.
You're putting me in a box.
Yeah, you're putting me in a box.
I prefer the power struggle be one so you can inform us on messy instead of getting to what he
I'm not playing your game just give me the dream man dream man tell me your dream messy's not playing a game either
Tell me the goddamn drink not for inner
Tell him the dream
Matt Canada would get fired and turns out someone might have made a burner account to try to make that happen then
Is it real?
She's helping.
She's helping.
That's why you give her the hookie next laugh
when she makes a joke,
because she's actually helping.
Instead, we're just spinning our wheels.
We should get to the dream, get to the dream.
At this point, you should get to the dream.
I only told you, I forgot to dream.
Okay, there it is.
Wonder what Willow's dreaming about.
She's been, we put her to sleep.
Nothing, we put her to sleep.
She's dreaming about bacon bitch. Dream bitch, like that. She's checking it. She's shit I put her to sleep nothing we put her to sleep. She's dreaming about
Bacon bitch dreams like that. Yeah, should I have to take you're right again one of I mean you were right
Okay, my congratulations his favorite words better than I love you
You were right Mike a means dreams go nowhere is content because we what what now you're gonna along with it
Well, but I mean we went 12 and a half minutes and we never got to the dream because I didn't say it because
They never why how can it go anyway when it's not allowed to live 30 minutes of running a meeting
Getting all these thoughts trying to produce the best show and it went
nowhere today just a show that was nothing and all what
What's the dream
Don't live a tart. You know what a razor is, Dan?
I do not know.
I don't know what a Motorola razor is.
You don't?
No.
I bet you you had one.
I did not have one.
Really?
Let's walk through your phone history.
What kind of phone is it?
I've never had a Motorola razor.
I never had a Motorola razor.
I did not have a Motorola razor.
What was your first phone?
Ooh.
Not a Motorola razor.
It's a telegraph machine. After that. The Motorola razor, Dan, was the one What was your first phone? Ooh. Telemolar Racer. Telemolar Racer.
Telemolar Racer, after that.
The motor Racer Dan was the one that was like really, really thin.
That it flipped over, but it was like as thin as like a razor blade.
That's why they called it the razor.
What is a telegraph machine?
I don't know.
They had one in Down Naby.
Still gots.
The Titanic stop.
Has Sunkin' stop.
John Jacob Astor stop.
Is missing. Stop. You think that was my phone. Stop has sucking stop John take a bath or stop is missing stop
You think that was my phone you think that my first phone was the Titanic's
Emergency signal this is the down lebertar show with this to got
Every time this man is on with us, we objectify other men who are playing professional football,
their body parts.
We're not doing that this time.
He's the host of NFL Network's Good Morning Football.
It airs Monday through Friday at 7 a.m. and Kyle, I am not only proud of you if that sounds
condescending and parental, but I am just so happy to see the people on NFL Network
clearly enjoying themselves doing television.
I have viewed NFL Network for a long time
as an entity as being repressed,
not merely conservative, but repressed.
So to see you come out in the morning
with the energy of a morning show
and the enthusiasm and passion for football,
you're giving off a vibe there that I believe is both electric and contagious at the network.
You tell me that you've felt it change around you
to watch the NFL network go from repressed
to borderline joyful.
Ben, I'm genuinely flattered.
I didn't think we were going to start the show
with a very special moment.
Thank you for the compliment.
I'm incredibly touched.
You know, I typically before I come on a show,
such as this stature, I like to prepare
a half an hour before I come on,
I like to, what are my thoughts gonna be on the big headlines?
And about a half an hour ago,
I started to do that for this show,
and then I said, what am I doing?
They're not gonna ask me the standard BS headline stuff.
We're gonna have something nonsensical about body parts.
And yet you blow my hair back with a very nice compliment, which I will take.
And I agree with, we do have fun on there.
We're not mouthpieces, we're not statues.
We just let it rip every morning down.
I thank you for noticing, just like you guys.
So can the Bengals turn it around?
Hey, can the Jets get to the wild card with Zach Wilson?
Let's get right to the core of the matter.
You know what's funny, Dan, is when we started our show in 2016, so they bring in an outside
production company, the NFL, never done that before.
And they hired this brilliant Michael Davies from Men and Blazers and all that.
And he brings in these four people and they sit us down, including me, who is not an
insider, did not play in the league and is not an anchor.
I don't know what I was doing there.
And we're like, fun.
We're going to be the fun show,
just wacky stuff and a reverent and pop culture and all that.
And we did that for three days.
And on the fourth day of our show in 2016,
Colin Kaepernick took a knee.
And then we just talked about freedom and first amendments
and soldiers and it all went away after like three days.
But we had a great run.
The reason that you were there is your chin.
That's the reason that you were there.
That's the reason.
Hey, I'll take it then.
We have talked about the likes of Paul Plus Luzany,
who has an incredible chin.
Obviously, Hall of Famer, how we long.
And sometimes when I'm shaving in the morning,
I don't think of my wife.
I don't think of any, I think of you
and you guys down there who have given this chin
more attention than I think any chin has gotten probably since Jay Leno.
So again, it's all flattery today from you.
I love it.
Do you think that, I don't know if you think this to yourself
because while you're a fun person,
you also, you have respect for the sacred
and Bill Belegchek has obviously been very successful
for a long time,
but I do think it's visually funny to see him on Sundays a little bit wet, losing, and with cuts over his
lip because he shaved poorly in the morning.
Some of the geniuses is wiping away in front of us in a way that makes me both uncomfortable
and delighted because it's funny.
Looks like he shaves like cracker that'll dandy with a knife, just drags it across his face,
maybe the same knife he uses to cut off the sleeves of the sweatshirt.
If you're going to dress like that, you've got to give him a maculet shave.
You have to pick one.
If you're going to look like you're huddled around a barrel fire with fingerless gloves
and looking for some soup. That's fine.
You've got to have a clean shave.
And if you're not going to have either, you have to have at least a decent team.
And you cannot be the greatest coach in team sports history, uttered it with the same people
like Red Hour Bach and John Wooden, and your team sucks and your quarterback sucks.
And it's not new and it's not changing.
So it's like, damn, I said this yesterday, I said, is anybody in Boston going to go with
a chain saw at Bill Bellichek this week?
If this, there was ever a week, you just had the worst loss of your career.
The team looks so bad.
It's not the weird coaching thing like last year where you just just said, screw it.
I'm going to just break the mold of coaching.
You're broadened coordinators, you drafted, you got your quarterback in his third year. The team is terrible and they
have zero identities. So at what point are we like, hey Bill, was this just like you were
a bad browns coach and then ran into some sort of like Disney character and Tom Brady
for 20 years and he held you up because it's starting to look like that. The chapters
of the book are being written in the Bella Check book and like chapters 30 and 31 are these terrible Patriots teams after Brady left.
They don't look like they're changing. So yeah, I think it's time.
Time for what? Because a Boston radio show host said after week two, fire him.
Oh, is that true? Yes. That sounds like some show.
It is true. Taking the take where the take has never gone before you understand that part of the culture
now is you got to get to the take before everyone else.
It's got to be louder.
It's got to be bigger.
So fire Bill Bella check week two is about as outlandishes.
It's going to get in the cathedral of Boston sports.
Remember a Dan when it was,
remember when it was just about being right.
Like if you were right on a take, you're the best,
you're the cream of the crop.
Now you have to be not only first right,
you have to be the only one who's right.
Like the only one.
So you have people swinging out of their shoes,
especially at times like the draft
and the start of the season to be like,
listen, when Will Levis is a Hall of Famer
for the Titan,
I had it, and I'm the only one who had it.
So it's making for ridiculous takes.
I don't think they should fire Bill Bellichek,
but if I was to have a beer with Bill, I'd say,
Bill, why are you still doing this?
What is there to prove?
You look miserable, the team's terrible,
you own a boat, you have nothing to prove.
Why don't you just retire
or maybe make a power move to have your kid take over.
I don't understand why he's still doing it and I'll tell you this, I think he can't stand
Mac Jones.
I can't stand him.
I think he turned out to be not a Belicec type of player.
I think he's soft and whiny and inaccurate.
I bet if you sat down and had three or four gin and tonics with Belicec, he would rip
Mac Jones to shreds.
That's just my intuition, but I'm telling you, and I'm getting the same thing from Brian Dable and Daniel Jones. I
think he can't stand his quarterback and they can't hide it.
Okay, but his view is distorted by 20 years of unprecedented play at the position. Like,
you don't.
There is no one who could have stepped into that position who Bella check wouldn't hate
because they're going to pay all by comparison. It's like the rebound relationship, right?
It's just this beautiful marriage, beautiful.
They had six kids together.
They had wonderful vacations.
Wonderful.
They bought a beautiful jewelry.
And then he just starts dating this young brat from Alabama and it's never gonna work.
You're right.
It's no...
And yet, like, we've seen it, you know, bill bill
wall should the Niners were able to move on and that organization, it's not impossible,
but it just doesn't happen much. And also, I don't think Mac Jones is very good.
Can you explain to us why the quarterback evaluation to me seems to be something that is so
unscientific, giving a lot of money to Daniel Jones or, for example, we've gotten it wrong on Jared
Goff, I think, because I don't think anybody thought he was terrible at the beginning and
then McVeigh gets him and then McVeigh sends him away.
And I thought a lot of people thought, well, that's it for Jared Goff.
He can't be the system quarterback for Dan Campbell.
Why is it that we're so bad with the evaluations at this position? Why is it that everyone missed on Tom Brady?
Well, it's, you just put it perfectly.
The golf example is exactly that.
Number one overall pick, him and Carson Wentz go one and two.
And after 10 minutes, we say, oh my god, Wentz is a Hall of Famer.
And Jared Goff is so bad and so boring.
He's like the hummus of quarterbacks.
He's completely uninteresting and not that talented.
And now we can't lose.
And listen, Dan, let's pull from the headlines.
The biggest one, we're past Brady.
The biggest one is Brock Purdy.
Brock Purdy has lost the game.
I'm almost offended by the way Brock Purdy handles himself.
That like, there's been guys that all of us come into the league and we root for and
they're good guys and we hope it works out.
And they just are disasters.
Brock Purti is making the NFL look so easy.
He didn't even have an interception this year.
He's never lost the game and he was this little farm boy from Iowa State that no one gave
a crap about and now like Shanahan wields him and like I think they're going to go 17
and oh, so why is it so bad?
I don't know, but it's supposed to be the time when it's never been better.
All the analytics and the interviews and the combines and the recombines and the pre-prod
days, and yet it's never been worse, even at the top of the draft.
CJ Stroud looks incredible.
He does, he's with the Texans, but he doesn't blink, just doesn't blink and everyone's
like, nah, I don't like him.
I would never take him first.
He looks great.
It's never been worse. Too much information. I see just circulating
from your crew. There must be some CJ Stroud fans in the crew.
There's a couple of things going on. One of them is you just said the 49ers were going
to go undefeated. I don't have a lot of people saying that. That's a, that's a, that's
a thing that you believe. You believe that no one will beat them.
I mean, I'm talking out of my ass, Dan. It's October 3rd. Maybe they'll lose the game or two.
They look like the best team in football.
I'll tell you that after one month.
But the other thing they were excited about,
and I can tell Chris Cody more than the rest, okay?
What's he got?
When you hit Gough with the hummus of quarterbacks,
not only did he get hungry,
he wanted to go down the list of,
let's do foods for every quarterback.
Let's go ahead and have that,
because I haven't liked hummus.
I don't think that hummus is...
Bit on inspiring then.
Is plain or terrible, but okay.
And Lucy, I like Jared Goff.
I feel like Lucy.
I feel like Lucy didn't like you disparaging hummus,
but also wasn't willing to take a stand on behalf of hummus.
I've been in an accident.
Okay. I'm sorry to see that.
It's been rough.
But let's go ahead and go with Jack Prescott.
What food item would, and you couldn't have prepared for this 30 minutes ago, though,
probably would have been better if I'd given you some heads up on it.
But that's okay now.
I would say, Jack Prescott is the Sizzlin' Fahida Platter.
It's like you're always turning heads
and it's a lot of attention.
But at the end of it,
it's like a lot of smoke
and like the meat is kind of overcooked
and the vegetables are kind of oily.
It's a big attention-getter dish.
We're supposed to be healthy,
but that's actually taste that good.
This is a good game that we can play with.
Come on, do all 30 others.
No, we're going.
I'll go around the league in a second.
Joe, Joe burrow.
Okay.
Previously incarnation, previous highest paid quarterback, Joe burrow, not Joe burrow this season.
All right, you got places like this in Miami that you go and you go to the steakhouse and
it's not just enough to get like the filet or the New York.
It's like, give me the wagyu grass fed. $400, six ounce
steak. It's all fancy. It doesn't even come with a side. The plate is 20,000 degrees. If
you touch it, you're burned to the bone. It is delicious and tender, but maybe a little
too tender as we're finding out and a lot of substance to go with some really delicious
flavor.
Kenny Pickett.
We're really going to do all of them.
Right.
Kenny Pickett is, okay.
He's at the airport when you stop at the Gravingo
and it's like one of those chilled Caesar wraps.
Oh, it's like, it fills your stomach.
It's a little expensive, it's not terribly talented
and they're like, hey, how was that Caesar wrap? You're like, it's, I'm not hungry anymore. It's okay. I don't
know. It's a Caesar wrap. It makes me not want to eat anymore. Ryan Tannahill.
Oh, man. He's worse than the Caesar wrap. Yogurt. It's the fruit on the bottom. You got
to be patient to get down to the blueberries.
It's a yogurt that's not even that chilled anymore.
It's a little bit warm.
There's a congealed factor over the top.
Like I guess I'm having yogurt.
And then you dig to the bottom.
There isn't any fruit.
It's just plain vanilla and you were deceived
because you thought it was good.
And that's the yogurt, I would say.
It's a Patrick Mahomes. Pepparoni pizza.
It's the best in the game.
It's been the best in the game.
It never disappoints.
Occasionally you get a little too eager, you get a little ahead of yourself and you burn
the roof of your mouth like they did again the other night against the jets, but you're
never disappointed to see it.
There's a lot of red going on and it's just you finish the crust.
You don't even mat the grease.
You don't even want it.
Just let them be. That's the sidearm throw, it's gonna be greasy,
it's not gonna be perfect, but it's gonna be delicious.
Even when it's bad, it's good.
Exactly, it's, if Patrick Mahomes are sex,
even when it's bad, you're still having it, right?
Right?
Anthony Richardson.
Anthony Richardson is dipendots, you know what?
Dipendots are, it's the ice cream of the future.
And you go to the carnival.
And there's these little ball ice cream things.
And you're like, what the hell is this?
I'll buy 12 bucks for dip and dots.
And you're like, I don't know.
It's not that good.
It's kind of rather be having normal ice cream, but damn.
It does have that on the marquee, the ice cream of the future.
And I'll spend some money on, I'll check it out.
Dip and dots.
Are you well aware of how good you are
at this particular game?
This is fun game.
To a tongue of I-Lowa.
All right.
To a tongue of I-Lowa is, I think he's like a sushi roll, like some sort of, like a shrimp
sushi roll, where it's like, you think I'm not into sushi, I'm not for it.
And you're like, just try it.
It's actually delicious. It's covered in salt and there're like, just try it. It's actually delicious.
It's covered in salt and there's deep fried things in it.
It's mostly rice.
You're like, wow, who knew that I like sushi?
I'm a 44 year old man.
I just started liking sushi.
It might be the best food I've ever eaten.
And it's pretty healthy for you.
Josh Allen.
Finally, Josh Allen, one of your favorites.
Oh, yeah.
Josh Allen, just big old barbecue, baby.
Just smoking on the grids,
looking on the smoke of a 12 hours,
it's meat, it's heavy sauce.
You know, I went to college in Wyoming,
I'm a place called Fireball and California,
not Fireball, Fireball,
and just give me some big old beef spare ribs.
It might be messy, might be messy.
Might be messy as hell, might burn yourself,
might overdo it.
The brisket gets a little dry sometime, but it's always great. It's always saucy. And it's like, if anything you're eating
off of a bone, that sounds gross, but who cares? That's like, you're always happy you're
abutting something off a bone. Josh Allen's always fun to watch, even when it's not good.
He is the host of NFL Networks Good Morning Football. It airs Monday through Friday at 7 a.m.
and also he's the host of 10 questions with Kyle Brandt, that podcast is available on Spotify and YouTube. Not around here enough.
We'll play it with you again, various positions the next time you're on food items. This is your
new segment here, okay? Your new segment is comparing football players to food items. Good
seeing you again, Kyle. Before he gets out of here, do you guys want him
to do anything for you?
Last time he was on with us, I believe he did a flex
as the camera came into him on behalf of the audience.
Oh, yeah.
Is there anything that you guys would want Kyle to do
at the beginning of Good Morning Football on Thursday
or Friday that would be just for our audience
and just for you guys?
I love a good cartwheel.
Well, wait a minute.
That's hard to do.
It's got to be more subtle than that.
When we open the show, I'm sitting there at the table and it's me and Jamie Jason and
Peter.
And I'm always looking.
And last time I gave you guys a nice tricep flex and I held it for like five seconds.
So I'm going to limit it to some sort of body display, whether it's a tap on the knee,
rub on the nose, a bicep, I'll do anything for you guys.
You're one of my favorite shows.
So, I'll salute Kyle.
A salute, right now.
Okay, they want a salute and a hand run through the hair
is what they want.
And salute to the hand run through the hair.
I'll do it tomorrow morning, just watch.
And I'm going to do the hell out of it.
Like, it is not going to be subtle at all.
And it's for you guys.
Love you.
Good talking to you, Kyle.
Thanks for making the time.
of it. Like it is not going to be subtle at all and it's for you guys. Love you.
Good talking to you Kyle. Thanks for making the time.