The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: History Tells Us...
Episode Date: May 28, 2024Stugotz kicks things off with his Weekend Observations from the long weekend! Then, the New York Mets have given us a reason to revive WFAT, and college athletes are getting money, but maybe not as fa...irly as you think. Plus, Roy Wood Jr. is here to discuss is Sorta Kinda Maybe Lock of the Week, the Trump Trial, Kyrie Irving, Mike Tyson, and his new podcast "Road to Rickwood." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dan Levatore Show with Stugats Podcast.
It is time for Stuguts to share his game notes.
No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu.
Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Lite.
Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery.
Din, it's one of my favorite weeks on the sports calendar.
The red clay, players slotting all over the place.
The long, grueling matches, the sights, the sounds,
Paris, the city of lights, and Dan-o, just like that.
Make no mistake about it, the French Open is back excited isn't it all
finished well for this tournament yes he is done but is he finished is it all
over I'll get to that we will yeah you're usually in a big hurry to get to
whether or not someone's finished I'll get to it here oh you're gonna get to it
in okay within weekend observations I will get to it here. Oh, you're gonna get to it in okay within weekend observations. I'll get to it
I thought you're just gonna get to it eventually. We'll address it
Pacer Celtics the rare series where a team was up late in every game and somehow
Still got swept
weird series
If you saw one game of the Pacer Celtics series you saw them all
There yeah, thank you
Wow never agreed so quickly
Yeah, they were all the same if the Celtics made Aaron Nemhard look like Luca
What do you think will happen?
When they actually have to play Luca?
Lucas not gonna win a title
Sees right historical tea I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think it's I don't know. Is it a surprise? You got you're not allowed after Luke and Kyrie
But at no point and in any point in the last three years have you said that you thought the Dallas Mavericks were?
You're not allowed to now say that you're not surprised, but they're close. I
Could do what I want I mean, but it's not true you can't say you're not surprised
I could do what I want. I mean, but that's not true.
You can't say you're not surprised.
Southampton promoted.
You know where the Saints are marching, Dan-O?
Are they marching in?
Right back to the Premier League.
I couldn't have guessed that one.
It was a dumb question.
Well, you said that they won promotion.
Hey media, you should be embarrassed for how quickly you crowned Anthony Edwards.
Anybody who even thought to compare him to Michael Jordan should get their credentials revoked.
Making a mockery of our business.
It's embarrassing. It really is.
Aunt Edwards. More like ain't Edwards as in ain't Michael Jordan
Seriously
Manchester City
Dude in the FA Cup final
boiler stars
Nothing like a Canadian team going up against an American team. So we get a battle of national anthems
I love that I do. I love Oh Canada
Love that I do I love Oh Canada
Is it bad to say I like their anthem better than our anthem it's not well They had the entire crowd singing it though yesterday. You can't say it today. I don't know too soon too soon
It's a great anthem
Put it on the pole juju at Levitas show Do you love the Canadian anthem better than any other anthem?
Before a hockey ref can call an embellishment penalty,
excuse me, they should have to get cross-checked
in the back to see how they would react.
I like that.
That was awesome last night.
How do you not embellish when you get cross-checked
in the back?
They said embellishing.
Well, if it's embellishing, then it's not a cross check. You look at the replay, no proper cross check
to the lower spine. Stash this away in the something the Ponderfile. Only four teams
in the national league have winning records. Is nobody good or is everybody good? No need to discuss now. Stash it away for a rainy day.
Death, taxes, and speed traps on Memorial Day. Top five
athletes that can own a traffic violation. This is exciting.
Trooper Taylor. Running cop. Number five. Speedy Claxton number four lawyer Malloy number three
Kyron the siren Williams number two Jim crash Jensen and number one Jay Walker
entering yesterday I believe the Dodgers had lost five straight and they
increased their lead on the division amazing they have no business losing
five straight with that team serious embarrassing who is Jay Walker I don't
know who that is listen I googledled Jay Walker, and there was one
And he was an athlete okay, but it's all the matters I got my guy You weren't able to retain anything after that could be Jason walking you just shortened it was Jay Walker
I was very excited when I got Jay Walker baseball player. I think
You don't know Jay Walker. Yeah, you mentioned that speaking to Jays here comes, Toronto
Jay Walker. Yeah, you mentioned that.
Speaking of Jays, here comes Toronto.
Seventh round draft pick by the 1994 New England Patriots.
Bingo.
Played four seasons.
That's the baseball player.
He's a Mideastern Athletic Conference Hall of Famer.
2018.
Miyak.
It's a weird one.
Did you just look up Jay Walker?
Like how did, never mind? I was right apologize
And Werner is out at ESPN, but good news. He's still living at AT&T Stadium
Is he really out yeah, he's out 26 years
I can't take this again. He's out again twice twice. They've gotten that Werner
Carl Anthony Towns
Saying he's getting up 1500 shots a day. Hey Carl number one, you're not
Number two, you're shooting 13% from three this series. Maybe work on getting in the paint
Hey, seriously take a shot closer. You gotta see one go in, Dan.
You know what I'm saying?
Then you go back to the three.
You know what they say about the numbers, right Dan?
They never lie.
Rangers Panthers, the rare series where one team is dominated
for 95% of the series, but is down two games to one.
It's frustrating. It is. nominated for 95% of the series but is down two games to one
It's frustrating it is if the Panthers can't win with this team. It's time for the question if not now when
There Roy's not worried no, I'm not I'm not worried at all
At all dude, no not at all. What if they go up 1-0 tonight?
Then I'll be concerned a little bit more.
So one goal is the difference?
One goal.
It was the night before.
But you're speaking with such bravado that it doesn't seem to be hinging on one goal.
Like you just admit it.
But if they allow a goal in the first 10 seconds tonight, then you're going to immediately be afraid.
I mean, first 10 seconds, who wouldn't be?
No, no. We got three periods to play man come on. If I'm
at a hockey game and somebody scores a hat trick I'm not certain I'm throwing
my hat on the ice. Oh I'm not. I paid for that thing. I'm nice. I paid all this money
for this cap I'm not doing that. Plus it's so hard to get it over the net. I know.
Yeah it depends on your seat. Yeah. What am I gonna do throw it to the first row
so someone can be like hey look at you this hat mine now. No, thanks
Begs the question. What do teams do with the hat trick hats? I?
Believe they give them away to my hats entities
Slap a stick on it and it goes right back to retail
No, you scape. It's generally like the drunk
I feel like you're more likely to throw a hat if you're drunk and sweaty definitely those hats
Yeah, probably not the cleanest of employees must love that like oh, it's free hat day at work tomorrow
Rangers are to it. Oh since they started dressing Matt Rempey
He sets the tone. The
Rempire State Building. Such a great nickname. The Mets are 22 and 30 with the
top payroll in baseball. I hate them. Another day, another blown save by Edwin
Diaz. The Mets paid a hundred and two million dollars for a mid-five ERA. They
should replace Edwin Diaz's trumpets
with a sad trombone.
The things you do driving around North Carolina
on a gummy in the passenger seat.
Top five songs Edwin Diaz should come out to.
Number five, Loser, Grateful Dead.
Number four, Cough It Up, Goose.
Number three, Here it up, goose. Number three, here we go again, David Guetta and Oliver Tree.
Who's got the more famous losers song? Is it Grateful Dead or Beck?
Which is the more famous? I won't even entertain that question.
Neither will I, it's Beck. Get out of here! For sure.
Bill Walton is rolling over in his grave!
I mean...
How about these...
Too soon?
Yes, too soon.
I don't think he's in one yet.
Miss you, Bill.
How about these horns for Edwin Diaz?
Number two, Groundhog's Day.
It's a song. Look it up.
Groundhog? Ernie Beel earn bell holds yeah and number one choke
great band I don't know how they found me is it just one groundhog it is a
single asset yes but I don't want to make fun of him I old age put tesses on
things it's round hogs day it's one Groundhog. I'm telling you it's Groundhog's Day.
Groundhog Day. I mean yell at her don't yell at me. Okay put it on the poll at
Lebatard show Groundhog Day or Groundshog Day. That gummy I took over the weekend was called Valhalla.
Dangerous game. Not if you're a golfer. 40 milligrams. No one seems to like that course.
Not if you're a golfer. 40 milligrams.
No one seems to like that course.
Angel Hernandez is retiring.
One might say it's the first good call he's ever made.
We're gonna miss that guy.
I really do want to have a contest
where we come up with someone who can top Angel Hernandez
for sustained incompetence across decades.
Angel Hernandez for sustained incompetence across decades. Like sustained, sustained, historic, rewarded incompetence.
Mark Emmert.
You and Mark Emmert.
Thank you.
I'm in the conversation.
Put it on the poll, please, Juju.
Most incompetent.
Stu Gotts, Mark Emmert, Angel Hernandez.
The Detroit Lions.
How unlikable is Boston, where the nation is rooting for
and rallying behind Kyrie Irving?
Think about it.
We will reinvent everything we've said about Kyrie Irving
just to make him a winner.
We want him so badly to win
Blake Snell getting paid 31 million dollars a year to go 0 and 3 with a 1042 ERA
He was so good last year. He should tow the slab with a ski mask on. He was so good last year
impossibly good
Ski mask. Anyway. Toe to slam. Dan, you know what the H in Al Horford stands for? Put
it on the pole, Juju. Hall of Famer. Have you ever used the
phrase toe the slab? BC Women's Lacrosse goalie, Shay Dolce.
Credit where credit is due. Save of of a lifetime Mike's on the save of a lifetime
amazing
Great job by her
Cost my kid a ring thought Izzy skein had it. Oh is he skein what a great career
Tip of the cap. I'm gonna tip it right now
Is he skein tip of the cap?
No, that's hats off like
In this week's edition of May Dan Arlovsky says Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence is not a top 12 quarterback and
Pro football focus snub Baker Mayfield on their list of NFC top quarterbacks.
I can't speak, man.
The Sphere.
Valhalla.
Grand Hulk.
40 milligrams.
40?
I said 40.
Wow.
Christ.
I didn't read the label.
Good God.
That can't be true.
Valhalla.
It can be true.
I think it's true.
Dangerous game.
It would make sense for that to be the only true thing Stugatz has ever said. La Hala. It can be true. I think it's a dangerous game. It would make sense for that to
be the only true thing Stugatz has ever said. 40 MGs. That's unbelievable. Let's talk after
the show. Lucy is looking at you just floored. Her mouth is hanging open. He can't. He sedated.
It's an elephant tranquilizer. The amount of sweet tie Doritos that I'd put down after that. Oh my god if I'm the Dodgers show
Hey, Otani never pitches again
Nothing is more Notre Dame than their men's lacrosse team having their two best players be brothers with a last name Kavanaugh
those guys I
Mean, they're good, but they're Notre Dame
The Kavanaugh brothers.
The rare NBA playoffs that get more boring
with each passing round.
You missed the Knicks?
The R in Rafael Nadal stands for retire.
Retire!
I said it, I addressed it. You did, as promised. I said it.
I addressed it.
You did, as promised.
You're great.
I mean, I let people retire when they'd like to.
Really?
Yeah, I don't want anyone telling me when I should retire.
Okay.
Can I retire?
We're gonna stop paying you.
Oh, you are?
I'm out of here
Think we have like a police department pension program here
I'll take it visualize. It's your 401k. I'm good
Huh
The Pacers best player is TJ McConnell and it feels like the only person who doesn't know it is Rick Carlisle
Also getting to the Eastern Conference finals with TJ
McConnell as your best player might be one of the greatest coaching jobs in
NBA history. That's what everyone's saying. Wow what a great coach Rick Carlisle.
Scottie Pippitt said he never won defensive player of the year because
everyone was always looking at Michael Jordan. Scottie, I'm serious. For the love of God, just let it go.
I mean Jordan made him.
Bill Walton passes away and suddenly
everyone's a grateful dead fan.
Enough.
He's been mad about this all day.
All day he's been mad at this.
Oh Bill, I went to a show with him.
Oh Bill got me tickets to this.
Oh I went to the dead.
You know what? If you didn't talk about it when it it actually happened it didn't happen in my personal record books do gotsbook.com
How about that?
It's doing very well by the way, thank you to everyone who wrote it
The Mavericks currently have Rudy go bear, the four-time defensive player of the year,
in hell trying to guard them.
I can't speak.
Valhalla, 40 milligrams.
The Sphere.
Speaking of Sphere, they just added more dates.
Speaking of hell, Arp Riles, Dan, those are the weekend observations on
the weekend observations on
the weekend observations on retiring.
retiring.
retiring.
Since the dawn of mankind,
Since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open
Since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open
Since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open
flame and debated the best way to grill.
flame and debated the best way to grill.
One thing not up for debate, grilling and beer always go
One thing not up for debate, grilling and beer always go
together. But not just any beer would do.
together. But not just any beer would do.
Whether you barbecue, Texan style, or just. Whether you barbecue, text in style, or
just celebrate Wednesday with burgers and dogs, I love Miller Lite. Every single
time my team plays on television, I am sitting behind that television screen
with a Miller Lite or three. Miller Lite keeps it simple, undeniable quality, taste
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Hoo!
Don Lebatard.
Your history with him suggests three years of heaters.
Those are the heaters.
Three years of heaters.
But this Stugatz, my partner enlivened by a sportsman.
We're having sex, baby.
And Joe Mauer, yes.
This is the best version of him.
What?
Stugatz. Now you are.
Yeah the feels good. This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugatz.
You asked me during weekend observations if I missed the Knicks. I do not, but I do miss our radio station WFAT, which I think we should still be doing
for the Rangers and perhaps for the Mets as well.
We should resuscitate WFAT just because of how sad the Mets are making all the people
of New York.
Do we have some sad broadcaster sound we could play for the audience to explain how terrible it is
to pay so much money for a team that stinks?
A three-run triple for Mike Istremski makes it 7-2 San Francisco.
The Giants have scored five times on the tenth. Fastball belt high out over the plate.
Just couldn't get there.
Boy, oh boy.
Feels like the sky is falling.
It has felt like that virtually every day.
For the last month.
W.F.A.T.
So good. Put it on the poll.
At Limit Talk Show, has it felt like the sky is falling
virtually every day for the last month?
Looking at those highlights, it seemed like
plenty of good seats were available.
And I can only imagine the flash deals that would be
available on the Game Time app.
I use the Game Time app and I use the promo code
Dan recently for tickets to tonight's game.
Panthers, Rangers, by the way, Panthers,
I know a lot of you season ticket holders
are probably listing your tickets on Game Time.
You made a decision and I am not in agreement with it.
Even though Game Time is a phenomenal app
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Panther fans, you gotta hold on to those season tickets.
But let's just say you're a Ranger fan in town, wanna take advantage of a few bad decision
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We talked last week, St talked last week to an expert,
somebody who really knows the machinations of what it is that a lot of
people are not presently paying attention to that is happening with the
NCAA and the settlement that is a way to trick people into thinking that we're
arriving at fairness when all we're doing is splitting up some money that these players have deserved for a long time in a way that's not actually
fair but short-term allows people to get away with stuff. Lucy I know you're
fascinated by everything that's happening here with the NCAA because
they're making up the rules as they go along they have to figure out a way to
get people money and they're doing it with a settlement that I believe is
short-sighted to accept.
Yeah.
So my understanding of this settlement is that the NCAA is paying a crap ton of money
back to athletes who were not able to profit off of their name, image and likeness, like
during the pre 2020 period.
So all of them.
Yeah, pretty much all of them, but not like past a certain year so like I don't know if
Johnny Manziel is gonna be able to get money for not being able to do that it seems like it's just during that brief
Timeframe also at the same time. This is now the same ruling has made it so that schools can pay their players
Directly and so there's still like a lot of moving pieces with that because you have to factor in title nine
And so there's still like a lot of moving pieces with that because you have to factor in Title IX.
Basically, from my understanding of this,
we are at the weirdest spot where we have commissioners
of conferences begging the government to get involved.
That is where we are.
That's a bad spot to be.
And you have a lot of career politicians
that were all for states' rights,
but now all of a sudden see the need
for federal intervention,
which is funny to me, Ted Cruz.
But right now the revenue split that is just settled
is 22%, not for football, for all college athletes.
And the rest of the money goes to the administrators
to keep these other sports going
and to keep those salaries big and juicy.
Now some of this plan I really do like.
It did consider things like Title IX,
and the United States, believe it or not,
is one of the few governments that doesn't directly fund
its Olympic programs, so that's part
of the rationalization here.
You all of a sudden get Olympic sport funding,
and it goes into the pockets of some of the athletes.
What is bad about this is they're looking for government
to give them safe harbor status.
Whereas NIL could actually seem like a good supplement
to this, look, you get this average amount of money,
but we can actually come above that for those
that are most worthy of capitalizing
on their name, image, and likeness.
You're all of a sudden going to hand over an entity
that is caught L after L after L after L in the courts
trying to undo this,
you're going to grant them autonomy to set the rules for it. They want to do away with collectives,
they want to hop in a time machine, only this time with more power and with no government
interference. We cannot let that part happen. This is why they accepted paying out all this money
is because they know if we have to go to court for anything else, we are going to lose and part of the settlement agreement was dismissing a couple open court cases.
The whole thing is weird. The NCAA just like isn't, it's not a governing body anymore and it's,
this is a desperate like grasp for power to become that again.
Most sports fans though are going to gloss over the details on this and just say two billion dollars.
Yeah, it's being positioned as a win which you can't say that it's not a win where there was zero money.
There is now money.
But you also don't want to sacrifice those short term games for longer term success.
If they do away with collectives and all of a sudden you add more bureaucracy and more ambiguity to something that's already kind of confusing in NIL now,
you're going to limit the amount of money because the marketplace is going to shrink.
So ultimately in the long run, especially for athletes that are getting into it now,
I'm not talking about the ones that preceded them, athletes getting into it now, they're
going to look back two and three years behind and say, why didn't I have it that good?
More Ted Cruz is what we want with sports, right? I think we can all agree on that one. I think if
we can find one consensus in a divided America, it's that we all want Ted Cruz in charge of more
things that involve him having power. With only a few weeks left in the NBA playoffs, no matter which team you're rooting for, there's
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today. Last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed. Don Lebatard. I think I would have been on his side. I would have looked at you like what did you say?
I'm telling you me and my friend the rest of the way home all we kept saying was I ain't
cheating. Stugats. I think he got your ass. I think he got your ass.
Chris won this one for sure. Not pathetic.
It was great. This is the Don done libertar show with the Stu guards
greetings right doesn't like Rudy go back he is an interesting individual
yeah that was interesting he said he was interesting he said he didn't dislike
he didn't say he disliked him.
I don't see Roy Woods saying publicly
that he dislikes a whole lot of people he doesn't know.
Interesting is code for, yeah, I don't like that guy.
I mean, I'm just saying.
I need to meet him.
I need more information.
That's what I'm saying.
Because until I meet you, it's hard for me to size you up
when only all I know
about you is what you do at your job.
Cause you know, we're all gonna have bad days at the job.
Just his or in front of millions of people.
And some days he does his job really well.
And then other days it's terrible.
Can you tell us more about your jacket collection, please?
The last time you were on with us,
it was an old school exposed jacket.
So this is an old school Cubs jacket.
How many of these do you have?
I probably own these types of jackets.
I'd say about 15 of varying teams,
predominantly Cubs, but you know,
old Cooperstown collection type stuff.
I wear it proud now, cause I'm 45.
This jacket would get you killed in 87.
You couldn't wear no stuff like this back in the day.
They'd snatch this shit right off your back
or put a bullet in your head.
So now, like, that's what adulthood is.
It's just wearing all the stuff
and buying all the stuff you couldn't buy
when you were younger.
Now I'm grown.
He's only got three shows left
on his Happy to Be Here tour.
I suggest this
Sunday Bloomington Indiana June 21st st. Louis June 22nd in his beloved Chicago
you could get tickets at Roy Wood Jr. dot com and he's also the host of a new
four-part podcast it launches today from NPR it's Road to Rickwood it's the
oldest professional baseball stadium in the country. It's deep ties to the Negro leagues,
to the civil rights movement.
Roy, I always like when you bring your excellence
and your illumination to sports.
Why did this project call you?
One, it's the field where I played my high school.
It's the field where I wrote the bench in high school.
So it's near and dear to my heart,
but also Rickwood Field is so connected to baseball
and the history of the sport.
And it's a four-part series.
You know, they're doing, MLB is doing a tribute
to the Negro Leagues game on June 20th.
And so leading up to that game, you know,
the folks at NPR and MLB, they reached out,
they thought it would be cool to like really dig into the story of a hundred plus years of baseball at that
particular venue and how it connects to who we are as a people today.
And I'm like, yo, it's a chance to go home for free and not stay at my mama's house.
Yes, I will take your hotel per diem Major League Baseball.
And I'll sit down and, yo, we talked with old Major Leaguers,
old Birmingham Black Barons, man,
I gotta give a shout out to Bill Grease
and I gotta give a shout out to Al Holt.
So many people who just talked about playing there
with Willie Mays and Satchel Paige
and Babe Ruth came through, Reggie Jackson came through.
So many people over the decades
have set foot in that Birmingham Park.
And it's just a cool story to tell, man, you know, to be able to honor the Negro
leagues in this way is my way of paying back to a game that I suck at, but I love.
You are someone of an age that you respect what Mike Tyson was.
He is a betting underdog against Jake Paul.
He had a big medical scare on a cross country flight on Sunday
He presently looks like this Roy. We showed him recently walking with a cane TMZ
Wheelchair got my man in that pre-boarding chair. Yeah, and it doesn't look like he's ready to fight a sanctioned fight
For me, it's the tennis outfit. Yes
ready to fight a sanctioned fight. For me it's the tennis outfit. Yes it's the whole thing but what what do you think here of all of this Roy? Dan I know that I'm here on this segment to give you
my guaranteed for sure kind of sort of almost whatever we've titled this segment pick of the
week but I'm going to give you two. We're going to start with Mike Tyson. What I figured out
in the couple weeks with you Dan Levitato is that history tells us with sports, what's going to happen in the present.
So what do we have right now?
We have a president in legal crisis, former president, right?
In legal crisis.
Yes.
In Donald Trump.
That's correct.
Okay.
1987, Iran, contraherence.
Oh, Ronald Reagan got himself in a little hot water.
You know who won a fight in 1987?
Mike Tyson.
1999, Bill Clinton impeachment acquittal.
You know who won a fight in 1999?
Mike Tyson.
So now I give you here 2024.
This seems flimsy. This seems flimsy.
This seems like sitting president.
I picked the Dallas Mavericks correctly.
You will respect my research.
Well, you did.
You told everyone to bet the house on the Mavs
to make the finals.
Mike Tyson in four rounds.
Oh wow.
And I don't care.
Wow.
And I don't care if he's in this weird pre-boarding chair
and he gets to get on the plane first.
Mike Tyson, four rounds, history says so.
I don't know what round he won.
I don't know how he beat Burbick in 99
and then he beat some no name in 87, but my point is.
Burbick was the first round in the Bahamas.
He beat his ass.
Okay, you're just making this moreamas. He beat his ass. Okay.
You're just making this more solid.
You're making this more solid.
A president was in trouble in 87, Tyson Warner.
A president was in trouble in 99, Tyson Warner.
A president is in trouble in 2024.
You got it.
These are guaranteed.
Look, these are kind of, don't say guaranteed because legal.
But these are, I'm pretty, probably gonna happen.
That's right.
It's as close to a guarantee as you can get
without getting in trouble with legal.
You were in Dallas recently.
Can you tell me your appraisal of Kyrie Irving?
He is-
Yeah, I really think that, you know, the Mavericks,
you know, here'svericks, you know,
here's the thing about Dallas as a city. This is the other thing that to think about.
When Kyrie is playing in a boring place, he's better.
Cleveland, love you.
Not a lot to do downtown after 10 p.m.
Not a lot of mischief in Cleveland.
Boston, it's a lot of mischief.
Dallas is the perfectchief. Dallas is
the perfect mixture. Dallas has places to go, but Dallas also, you've been to Texas,
it's long stretches of nothingness. So you get to think and focus and just look up and
think about basketball. It ain't like Brooklyn. Brooklyn is chaos. When you played in Brooklyn,
it's chaos because there's too much shit to do in New York City. Dallas, you take your ass to Water Burger,
and then you go and you shoot jumpers with Luca.
And then you hit the strip club on the weekend.
Dallas is like, it's like Atlanta,
but everything's spread out,
so you can't get in much trouble,
because it's a long drive.
That's the beauty of Dallas.
That's why I said, why you think the Dallas Stars
ballin' out in hockey?
Is that why?
Is he right about that?
Yes, yes.
You can only, the good strippers only come to Dallas
on the weekend, so you can't get in trouble
during the weekdays.
Brooklyn is around the clock.
Atlanta's around the clock.
Why you think Atlanta ain't got no champions
in a long ass time?
There's too many strippers.
Well that's, I've heard that theory thrown out before,
actually, that you can get into too much trouble in Atlanta.
How about the Trump trial?
It is closing arguments today.
The jury could reach a verdict as soon as tomorrow.
You told us last time you were on with us
that nobody cared, but we did make fun
of all of the courtroom artists.
Do you have any insight for us today on the Trump trial?
Not too much more on the Trump trial other than,
look at that, it just looks like he's drooling
out of his mouth.
Like it's not even, we cannot have these courtroom
sketch artists anymore, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Levitard, I don't wanna be,
I'm not here to hate on anybody's industry,
but if there's ever an industry where we could
kinda give this job to AI,
and be the courtroom
sketch artist.
Did you hear about submarine, man?
We're going to do submarine again.
Wait a minute.
I saw this in the New York Post.
Are you talking about the Ocean Gate explosion, the Ohio billionaire who's going to take a
$20 million sub down to the Titanic site
Yeah to prove to us that the submarine industry is safe
Who are you proving it to?
Nobody's lining up to take the deep two mile
Marinara trench right when we said submarines are safe. I want to see some dolphins off the coast of Cancun
I want to see some dolphins off the coast of Cancun. Show me the dolphins at 20 feet, you bitch.
And then I can swim up and shit get to leaking.
I'm sorry for cussing.
Submarines are not safe.
No, I'm with you on this.
Submarines cannot be described as safe
under any conditions.
I'm torn about this billionaire though,
because generally speaking,
I like when billionaires go and explore stuff because
it just means that they're not somewhere doing something sinister.
Like I appreciate billionaires who just trying to go somewhere.
Take your ass over there then, leave the money, but take your ass on over there.
But this billionaire, like everybody's kind of rooting for him to die and oh, you're going
to die.
He made his money in real estate.
He's a landlord of a bunch of luxury apartments
and that's how he made his bread.
But he has programs set up for rent for low income people.
He sets up low income housing.
So there's parts of his portfolio
that are very, very benevolent.
And I kinda don't wanna see this dude die
at the bottom of the ocean.
You're saying.
But if we're talking in.
But if we're talking NBA finals.
Yeah, yep.
We need him to die.
So.
What?
What?
If he goes down this year, preferably before the finals
get started, if this new billionaire goes down in that submarine,
bet the Dallas Mavericks all the way,
five games over Boston.
Last year, we had a billionaire go down in a submarine
and die.
Who was the NBA champions?
A white dude from a country where people don't smile
and a black dude.
Wait a minute.
Tell him Roy.
Of the two teams, you let me finish, Levitard.
Of the two teams in the finals this year,
which team has a white dude from a country
where people don't smile and a black dude?
Well, is it cause Porzingis is injured?
He doesn't count as being a white dude from a country?
He's not P1.
Forcingus is the second option off the dribble.
No disrespect.
He's not, his picture ain't on the ticket
when you buy a ticket to the game.
It ain't Forcingus doing a layup.
It's Luca.
Luca Kyrie, foreign white man from a smileless country with black man, guaranteed, back to
back years.
Don't listen to me, listen to history.
RoywoodJr.com is where you get the tickets.
It says bonafide surefire guaranteed, sort of guaranteed.
If the billionaire dies, people dies.
See you later, Roy.
He has to die.
That's the important thing.
See you later. See you guys. See you from Dice. See you later Roy. Rest and Die. That's the important thing.
See you later. See you later.
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