The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: I Know Every Animal's Blood
Episode Date: January 24, 2024Jessica has been waiting for Charlotte to arrive to discuss two very important topics: "Snow Cream" and Andrew Lloyd Webber's poltergeist. Then, Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and our friendly... neighborhood race lady Jemele Hill is here to discuss why she and her husband's marriage could end in shambles over the Lions-49ers game this weekend. Plus, it's time for everyone's favorite game: AGAINST! THE! SPREAD! Also, Stephen A. Smith wants to debate Trump, and Greg wants to blow dry his ears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
This is the Don Lebatore Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
I've been waiting for Charlotte to come in here because I needed to talk to someone who
also grew up in a cold climate about this trend I keep seeing. People are eating snow off the ground,
putting it in a blender with sweetened condensed milk
and vanilla and sugar and then re-freezing it
and eating it like ice cream.
I think that is so gross,
but apparently this is a thing that a ton of people do.
And I mentioned it to Chris Cody the other day
and he's like, why would that be gross?
Is that like, what is that about?
And I needed to talk to Charlotte
because you grew up somewhere where it snowed a lot.
Is this not disgusting?
Okay, I have a lot of thoughts on the snow cream thing, Jess.
I'm thrilled you waited for me,
grew up in a very cold place,
lot of experience with snow.
I used to do this with maple syrup.
I would go outside and I would drizzle maple syrup
on the snow and it would sort of-
No, Charlotte, stop.
No, let her cook, let her cook.
You took the maple syrup outside?
Yeah.
And I would pour it on the snow and I would let it freeze
and then I would eat the maple syrup
and it was a fun little treat as a kid.
I never went as far as to bring the snow inside,
mix it with stuff, put it in a blender,
re-freeze it.
That to me is a new level of gross,
because you're just putting something,
it's like collecting rain water.
It's dirty water.
It's like the difference between going outside
and like going eh when it rains,
and then collecting the rain to free.
Yeah, we've all done that.
Well put.
I used to try to catch rain.
Right?
But.
So I think it's gross to do it in that quantity.
I think a little bit of maple syrup on a snowy rock.
That's weird, also the most main thing you've ever said.
Is it the thought process that the freezing of,
bringing it back in and freezing it gets rid of all
whatever dirt is in the snow?
To me, the thought, no, I think they're just blending it
with sugar and stuff and then making it
into a better consistency. To me, so I no I think they're just like blending it with like sugar and stuff and then like making it into a better consistency.
To me, so I had a really traumatizing incident
when I was little shoveling snow.
Once that-
Let's talk about it.
All right, we'll talk about it.
I feel like that's what she was gonna do before.
I just wanted her to feel comfortable.
Not as traumatizing as seeing Poppy's earwax,
but I am also very rattled right now.
So this has kind of shaped my opinion about eating snow.
Cause like, yeah, catching snowflakes on your tongue,
everyone does that.
That's, you know, you just do that.
But eating it in large quantities grosses me out
because to me, the snow's not clean.
So one time when I was seven or eight,
I was helping my dad shovel and I was in the front yard
and the snow on my front yard looked like it was untouched.
It looked perfect.
It was just beautiful. It looked perfect.
It was just beautiful, fluffy white snow,
a couple feet of it.
Couldn't see the grass.
It was a lot of snow and I was helping my dad shovel
and then playing in the snow and then whatever.
So I remember vividly putting my hand
like into a fresh pile of snow on the front lawn
and just kind of like, you know,
feeling making some snowballs And I felt something hard.
And I grabbed it and picked it up
and I stared at it for a second.
And in my head I thought,
how did one of my dog's toys get outside
buried in the snow?
And then I realized it was a squirrel
that was frozen solid in the snow.
And I was holding a squirrel, petrified solid.
And I took it and I threw it,
like Joe Milton throwing an orange.
Like it ended up in the neighbor's house a mile away.
It was most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.
And from that moment forward,
never ever ever picked up snow and eaten it.
And so when I see people doing this,
like it triggers me looking at that gross,
dead, petrified squirrel and thinking,
ugh, they don't know, but there could be a squirrel in there.
The way that you describe it, though,
I think most people would say,
if I put these ingredients in a cup
that they're making this snow cream with
and don't put the snow, it would be delicious.
Like anything would be delicious with maple syrup.
Anything would be delicious with these ingredients
that we're talking about.
If you also make it snow,
you're just doing frozen icy stuff,
but it's dirty water.
Yes, there is some, that is one of the grossest things.
We're having a gross day here.
We went from earwax to-
No, Charlotte, what you do is way weirder.
I'm not gonna lie.
You bring maple syrup outside?
Yeah, you bring it outside, you drizzle it on a rock.
Don't see her shame her.
It's like a fun little game to play as a kid, you eat it.
It's like, this is different and it's exciting
because it's snow, but you don't eat too much of it.
And you do it where there are no dead squirrels.
We have frozen iguanas down here.
Like, are you sure that squirrel,
like up there I assume the snow,
that's actually dead that squirrel, right?
Because down here, when dead that squirrel right down here
When it gets 40 degrees down here the iguanas freeze and then they unfreeze and they're alive again
That thing was fucking dead. Let me tell you
Reanimated as soon as you threw it into your neighbor's yard it reanimated
How can we talk to animal experts this much and you think an iguana has the same sort of blood and reacts to freezing?
Oh, I'm dead. I know every animal's blood.
Good impression.
That is, that is great.
That's going in the sues for sure.
The impression, the impression that starts with, oh, I'm Dan and gives the name to everybody
and then makes me so arrogant that I know everyone's blood. Yes, the iguana freezes and it doesn't actually die,
but when the squirrel is frozen, it's dead.
It's not the protect-
Good to know.
It's dead.
I mean, it was dead.
I guess my point is like,
no matter how fresh and clean and fluffy and white
the snow looks, you never know what's lurking underneath.
And like I've seen people scoop up the snow off their car.
I'm like, I don't approve of that. That grosses me out.
I, uh, I do want a T-shirt that's that arrogant.
I'm Dan and I know everyone's blood is, is, is,
Every animal. Yeah. That's an important,
don't limit it to just animals. It's everything, everything's blood.
I know far more than that uh... jessica it's not the only reason though that
charlotte has been waited for around here jessica jessica has been wanting to
talk
for two
weeks
about a poltergeist with just you for some reason she hasn't wanted to
discuss it with us only you she wants to discuss it with
okay well you're really hyping this up, Dan.
I read an article that Andrew Lloyd Webber said that
at one point in his life, he had a poltergeist
in his home in London, and he called an exorcist
and they exercised the poltergeist and it left.
And I really wanted to talk about it.
And for weeks, everyone was just staring at me like,
we don't want to talk about Andrew Lloyd Webber or poltergeist and
I was like you know who will Charlotte Wilder yeah 1000% about this big into
musicals and the people who wrote them big into ghosts big into poultry you
know this kid now do we understand why you wrote the fandom of the opera that
was my exact thought I was like wow is that the is that what inspired him he
had his own personal phantom in his home phantom of the opera was a documentary folks
He was he had a horny poltergeist
One of the things that was phantom was very horny Dan. Thank you. Jessica. I appreciate it
I didn't realize it until I was in my 20s
I went and saw it and I was like oh the phantom just wants to have sex like he just has been in the bottom of the
Opera, but when I was like, oh, the Phantom just wants to have sex. Like he just has been in the bottom of the opera.
But when I was younger, I didn't really read it that way.
And then as an older woman, I was like, it's a little creepy.
And then he kidnaps her and wants to be with her.
And the whole thing was weird.
Is that, I'm wondering now,
is that what the Pulture guys did to Andrew Lloyd Webber?
No, the reports are that Andrew Lloyd Webber
just found his books organized in another room
by something
that hadn't been exercised by him. Like he just, he saw a bunch of papers and everything organized
and no one had done it for him and he thought a poltergeist did it. Is it possible there was a
maid service arranged for him that he did not know about? It's a more common sense explanation
than the one he's choosing. Did he move out of his house or something because of it or just ex-
excised it?
No, it left.
And then I thought about it and I was like, all of his musicals are just about like main character horny,
like phantom, horny phantom cats, horny cats.
Yeah.
That's basically it.
What is this?
Breaking news?
Breaking news from variety?
John Stewart is to return to the Daily Show as executive producer and Monday night host
correspondence will handle duties Tuesday through Thursday.
Well that's interesting isn't it because we saw that Apple he and Apple had political
differences and John Stewart's an important voice in America and he needs a platform.
Roy Wood Jr. the other day was in the background mouthing hire a host hire a host that's an important voice in America and he needs a platform. Roy Wood Jr. the other day was
in the background, mouthing, hire a host, hire a host. It's an important show. It's an especially
important show, this election period. And John Stewart lending his voice to today's politics
as a guy, and I've told you this before, voted America's most trusted newsman over all the anchors when he was hosting
the Daily Show.
He usurped Brian Williams.
Anyone who's got problems with the truth of media, this guy is at the forefront of being
a comedian that people trust.
If he runs for office, people would vote for him.
He does a lot of work on good causes, on the right side of history that no one would argue with on getting first repot responders and military
uh... soldiers some health so any any platform that allows john stewart
to influence america with his voice and credibility would be welcome because he
is not just credible as a comedian he's credible as someone
who fights for the right side of things he He actually was voted the most trustworthy news source.
Yes, by polling.
Polling indicated of America as the trust in American media faded.
He was polling by Time Magazine.
He became the most trusted news source because he was doing a political show as comedy.
We've seen around here, right?
One of the things I do wrong all the time,
the best way to attack this stuff
is not sermonizing and screed.
The best way to attack it is by satire.
It's by welcoming people into the fun
and pointing out hypocrisy.
And over years, that show did it better than anybody.
They were groundbreaking and pioneering
because of that man.
And then, for those of you who weren't paying attention, and this part's important because
it's offensive if you care about real free speech and media doing its job, John Stewart
was doing things for Apple that were too hot for Apple, even though it was just truth,
truth, fact, fact, truth, truth.
And Apple ran him off because the corporations are taking over everything and they want their news
to appeal to everyone because Republicans buy news too.
And-
Not quite, too, because Apple was in a very tricky position,
given their corporate partnerships
where they manufacture their goods,
artificial intelligence conversations,
put them in a difficult spot.
It wasn't necessarily in terms of like Apple TV consumers and where they reside on the aisle,
that probably didn't make the metal stand. You know what? Forgive me, you're absolutely right
about this. But where it comes to corporate conflict and you want your media to not be
compromised by capitalism, just do it that way. because you're right. It's probably not on the
list of things that Apple objected to, whatever. I think he was, I think the reason his show was
gone is something to do with China. I'm not sure of the details. I don't know that he's talked about
this yet. I've been waiting to hear from him on what happened, but what he was doing on the Apple platform was more thorough
and comprehensive and research than anything that was happening in television anywhere.
He was tackling subject matter that none of the other shows, not John, not John Oliver,
not Colbert, not any of his disciples, they were not tackling what he was tackling in long form, hugely researched,
and it wasn't just politics. It was the economy. It was leadership distorting the difference
between haves and have not. That show was brilliant, and not a lot of people were seeing
it because it was behind a paywall, and he couldn't make it work with Apple because Apple
has corporate compromises that it has to make that John Stuart is not willing to make.
Starlight Express, horny trains.
Phantom of the Opera was horny.
You really think-
You think John Stuart knows every animal's blood?
Put it on the pole, is every musical horny?
Put it on the pole.
Yes.
And put it on the pole as well, did Jessica-
Big game musical, yeah.
Just horny-splain to Dan?
Because I fell asleep during Phantom of the Opera.
Physically fell asleep while watching.
As opposed to metaphorically.
Well, I'm not saying it.
Yes, I'm not saying it is something that...
It was your blood sleeping.
Don Lebatard!
Again, started on the breakfast flan.
Oh, man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning long.
Breakfast flan. Stugatz! You never on the breakfast flan? Oh man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning while on breakfast flan.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
Stugats!
Have you never heard the breakfast flan song?
No, hit me with that.
Okay.
I wish I had some breakfast flan.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Breakfast flan.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
What can I find?
No, breakfast like that.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,
dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, like that. This is the Don Lebatar Show with these two guys.
Hey Jamel, how you doing?
Hey, what's going on everyone?
How are y'all?
Good.
Jamel, do you eat snow?
You know what?
I did one time when I was drunk.
The first time I ever had.
It's true.
It's true that first
The first time I ever had tequila me and two of my college friends we split a bottle and I ate the worm
and um
I ran and dove on top of a snowy car and ate the snow partially off the car
Good times jimelle's got some great drunk stories. It's time for your friendly neighborhood race lady.
It is nice to see you. The reason we're having you on is not to tell drunk stories, although
I want some. Can you give me some more? Because we've talked about some of these before. If
you've got a better one you'd like to show off, we'd love to have it. Well, I was just asked if I ever ate snow and one time in college I was super drunk. It was the
first time I ever had tequila. Jose Cuervo and to this day I do not drink Cuervo. I do drink
tequila just not Cuervo and me and two other my friends, we went through a whole fifth tequila.
I was the one who swallowed the worm and i decided it was a good idea to run out of the house party we were in
and dive head first on top of a car and i started eating snow i also thought my
stereo was trying to attack me later on was and when i was in my bed so and i
saw was fighting the air so it is very true that the warm is a hallucinogen uh... i'm just here to testify
did you i ate snow as a kid did was that the first time you didn't know
yeah was there was the first time i ever ate so i was about twenty years old and
drunk yet underage drinking is bad i guess
so i was just a weird okay good day
the maple syrup is your charm Okay, good. Yes, you sure
What's the wait, what's the maple syrup thing?
Yeah, tell her I would put maple syrup on stone eat it
Pretty straightforward why
For a man sounds good
Okay, she's from me that makes it that makes more sense. Okay. I got it now I got it. I'm not a big sauce person like I'm one of the few people like I don't love syrup
I don't like my husband thinks I'm completely bizarre because I don't I don't really love ketchup or like most sauces in general
I don't necessarily love I am glad that you brought up your husband because the reason I wanted to talk to you
is this is unusual.
Jamal is a, she's associated and affiliated with Detroit
in a lot of ways, cares about Detroit,
but is not a Lions fan.
She's a 49er fan and her husband is a rabid Lions fan.
So please explain to me what's been happening this week
because it seems unpleasant to have this's been happening this week because it seems it seems
Unpleasant to to have this in your home this week
Anybody is familiar with that movie war the roses starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, but that's basically been my house
You know that part of this week
Once the Lions clenched and made it, you know,
as official, they were going to be in the NFC championship game. My husband then took my 49ers
jersey, which would be a Debo Samuel jersey. And it's right over there. That's why I looked that
way. A Debo Samuel jersey and a Jimmy Garoppolo jersey. And he put them in the trash. And he made
a whole video about it, about doing it. And he He has been it's like he had the trash talking saved in drafts. So like, you know, he he was at work yesterday
He called me and
Yes, people he doesn't like to be shirtless quite a bit. I mean, he's got a good body. I don't blame him, right?
at any rate so he has been trash talking me non-stop
Since this has happened and a lot
of people have been asking me, are you going to switch over?
Are you going to root for the Lions?
I'm like, no, I've never been a Lions fan.
I've been rooting for the 49ers for 40 years.
Okay.
It's like it would feel very disingenuous to switch.
But I do wonder if my marriage will be the same after this week because he has promised
more torture.
Currently he is away for work
and I have some plans of my own.
He's probably gonna come home
and find all his lying stuff burned in our front yard.
But that's a story for another time.
So I believe her, but let's play that video
for the audience.
You've played it there.
So you, did you fish this out of the garbage can?
Did you fish the?
I prevented him from putting it deeper down in there it was like at the
top is still had hangers on it and i had to
take it out of his hands so that it would not be totally
in boiled in
you know food or what not what but was he trying to this is not performative
he is trying to make your life unpleasant and have you discard
uh... you know jerseys that have value to you
and well no i mean i don't know that i'm gonna go
it okay which he likes to tease me about it when i when i got the jersey was i
you know that's the right because this is no way
that he's ever gonna lead you all to a super bowl
or are not leaders to a super bowl or not lead us to a Super Bowl,
like that we would win a Super Bowl with him. But this is what I told him. I was like, if you
have led the 49ers to a Super Bowl, I have your jersey. So I have a Kaepernick jersey,
I have a Garoppolo jersey. I lost my, actually lost my Joe Montana's team young jerseys. I
don't know where they are. So that is my criteria. You take us to a Super Bowl, I'm gonna buy your
jersey. You should ask your husband where they are, So that is my criteria. You take us to a Super Bowl, I'm going to buy your jersey.
You should ask your husband where they are, Jamel.
Feels like there's a culprit.
You know what?
I didn't even think about that, but you're right.
I might have to do some investigating while he's gone.
But yes, so a lot of trash talking.
He's left me some messages on his whiteboard about the 49ers. He is not
letting up, which is why he better pray the Lions win this game because I am unleashing hell on him.
And we've already made a bet for the game that will be unpleasant for us both if either loses.
And we'll just see. I mean we'll probably wind up having
to go to marriage counseling after this so we'll just see.
Any particulars on the bet you wish to share publicly or is this all private information?
No, because it'll be out on social media I'm sure soon when we disclose the terms of the
bet but basically we both are going to write a letter that the other one has to read on and and broadcast on our social channels and i only i can only imagine what he's thinking of having me read before.
The world about his team i'm sure it'll be like a bunch of exlatives about how terrible the 49ers is i'm a traitor i'm sure it'll be some of these but.
trade i'm sure it'll be some of these but as i have to remind him i'm the writer of the family so that's what i was gonna say you're the favorite and the
writer you've got the game at home and you're the writer uh... and correct he's
got fifty years of losing behind him that shouldn't make him a big mouth in
this situation
we don't have to be on it like this is going to be a tough game like i i've
never said that this is gonna be some kind of cakewalk and i realized the
lion's history going to be a tough game. Like I've never said that this is going to be some kind of cakewalk and I realized the Lions history is certainly
some part of this, but the reality is that, you know,
Detroit has an explosive offense.
Like they're a good team.
They got here for a reason.
Now, and I know some people look at how we played
against Green Bay and are thinking this team doesn't,
they didn't play well, they don't look right.
Maybe they're not in the right mind frame for this game, but you know,
the Packers were a team that beat the Lions this year too.
And that team put it like this,
would I rather the 49ers have the Packers
or who the Lions had with the Bucks?
I would have much rather had the Bucks
than have the Packers,
because they really seem like a team
that is truly on the rise and going to be a problem
in that division going forward. But you know, are going to have to play well, but I like how they match
up defensively against Detroit. I do think if it comes down to which defense
can get a stop at the necessary time, I think it'll be San Francisco and not
Detroit. I do think the six and a half point favorite thing is really
interesting because I think this game is gonna be closer to
that this feels like a field goal type of game. When you look at this match up dispassionately
though if you can't if you look at this dispassionately America's rooting for Detroit right I mean
they're the feel-good story they're the underdog they're everything right I mean that that's what
that's what the husband has over you. He does. I mean, he's got the emotional triggers and, you know, look, this is San Francisco
trying to win its six Super Bowl, something the Lions that has never been a reality for
the Lions in the modern Super Bowl era. They're one of the small group of teams that have never
won a Super Bowl in this modern era. And considering that a lot of people look at Detroit a certain
way as a down front in city, even though I the one thing I'm not looking forward to if
the Lions win is all these very lazy narratives that are about to come out about Detroit that
the Lions success has contributed it to the revitalization. And I'm like, no, that revitalization
started a long time ago downtown Detroit got a Gucci store. OK, we've been revitalized.
All right?
So I know that that's a very easy narrative to be like,
look at this down, trodden, beaten city.
Like everybody is walking around there in tattered pants
and whatnot.
It's not really that city anymore.
Like any city, it has its bad neighborhoods.
And I think for a long time, Detroit in general,
suffered from not having the best national reputation.
This is an opportunity for people to see our city a lot
differently.
And so I realized that the emotional narratives
are completely on its side.
Like nobody wants to root for big business to win.
And the 49ers have been there, winning championships
as part of the DNA.
And the Lions don't have one. And so naturally, so naturally everybody of course is going to gravitate toward Detroit and look in many ways it's a win-win for me if San Francisco advances I'll be extremely happy Detroit advances I will also be happy because I know what that means for the city and for the fans like my husband however annoying he's going to be this week. But let's talk about that for a second, because when we talk about regional pride and what
sports does to a neighborhood's identity, Detroit, as you speak of it, has had the reputation
that downtown has felt unpleasant.
But didn't sports revitalize that?
Isn't sports the reason that downtown is now vibrant in Detroit because it wasn't the silver dome anymore
But because they they built out economies around around stadiums
Yes, I mean now all of Detroit's teams are downtown
But that wasn't the only thing Dan because realize that it's been a while since any of those teams have been successful
I mean the pistas you see what they look like right now.
And they, I mean, I forget how long it's going on now since they made the playoffs.
And this is the 20 year anniversary of them winning the NBA finals, which obviously last
happened in 2004.
The Tigers have not been great, but I think having the teams downtown was just another
step.
But beyond that, there was a lot that was going on.
Because people maybe who haven't been to Detroit don't realize that,
is that this is an enormous waterfront off Detroit.
You can see Canada from Detroit.
Windsor is our neighbor.
And so that waterfront drew a lot of big business,
and a lot of people were very interested in seeing this city be revitalized,
because economically what
it could do for the whole state.
I mean, this summer, it used to be that you could stay downtown easily, maybe like 10
years ago, you could stay downtown in a hotel for less than probably $130.
Easy.
You could find a nice hotel.
Now, good luck finding anything other than $ It has, and certainly the lion success this season
has been a part of that because these weekends are booked out,
but the concerts, the other entertainment
that Detroit tends to draw has all been a part
of this overall revitalization.
I mean, Detroit has one of the most happening
restaurant scenes in the country.
The pre-COVID, the number of new restaurants
that have been created in Detroit, it's been astounding.
So there's this revolution started maybe at best
in conjunction with the sports teams now all being
located in one place, but it's been underway now for a while.
So this idea that the Lions, you know, being successful now,
that's what, you know, Gucci stores just don't pop up overnight.
Okay, like the fact that Detroit has major department stores under our
Nike, all these places now downtown, like that was kind of in process for a few years.
That was your friendly neighborhood race lady.
It's going to be bad on Sunday, Jamel.
Around your television, in your household, it's going to be bad, right?
What's it going to look like?
It's going to be bad.
Well, we're trying to figure out if we're going to be able to watch the game together.
Number one, I think we will because again,
he has some work obligations that have taken him out of town.
So he's trying to get back here and we'll see.
Cause he also has the option of maybe going to Detroit
to watch with his fellow Lions fans.
But I'm a little scared, Dan.
I gotta be perfectly honest.
I don't know if it's a good idea
that we watch this game together.
It's not, it's not a good idea.
We'll talk to you on Monday when you're divorced
Don lebatard the alley has a bad reputation in general right?
It does from American history
But on South Beach someone's always just sitting somewhere smoking a cigarette you can't go down an alley around here and not
See someone sitting there smoking a still it retains a pulsating heat from the night before.
You walk by some liquid that you're like,
is that water? It didn't rain last night.
That's definitely not water.
Avoid the liquid.
Always avoid the liquids in an alley.
Stugats!
I venture, guess, that if you were to rake your tongue
on the asphalt of an alley, you would die immediately.
I don't think it would be immediately though.
First, you'd contract very quickly,
right before death, several sexual diseases diseases and then you would die. This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.
It's time for
It's time for... Against the Spread!
It's presented by DraftKingsFantasySports. Check out what DraftKings has to offer this season with Code Dan!
Because life's more fun when you're in on the action!
DraftKings, the crown is yours!
Greg Cody, welcome to...
Against the Spread.
We just told him we were gonna do this and he's like,
what's that? And I thought it was self-explanatory,
but it is not. Do you understand the game, Greg?
No, I do. I got it down.
This is your maiden voyage on Against the Spread.
And happy to be here.
We'd like for you to kick things off
Lions plus seven
So you like them to keep it close like Jamel Hill
I am gonna go with a basketball game the worst basketball game played this season. Charlotte is at Detroit
No, I want that one. Oh, Troy is a favorite the four who we taking down four and
39 pistons are a three-point favorite. We should be celebrating that Wow because Charlotte no longer has Terry Rose here
And he swings the line that way. I'm gonna take the pistons to cover to win and cover
I want I was I swear usually like to do our own thing around here But I wanted that exact same thing. I'm riding with Dan. I mean come on the pistons minus two and a half
but but you
Thank you, I guess we'll go right next to Jess
That's you doing yeah big one coming up and no he meant we'll go next yeah
We'll go next to Jess. That's why I was confused.
I heard it the way Mike said it.
Jess is up.
I could have said it better, guys, but Jeremy, you're up.
Big one at College Hoops tonight.
James Madison taking on Old Dominion.
I'm gonna take Old Dominion plus 7 and a half.
Again, the spread!
Alright, we're gonna go right next to Jeremy.
Any particular reason that you're picking that, Jeremy?
Any analysis?
Anything? No. All right, we're gonna go right next to Jeremy any particular reason that you're picking that Jeremy any any analysis any anything no
No reason game of the week
Analytics next to Jessica next to Jeremy Jessica. What do you got a little us open rematch action?
Cocoa golf and arena Sabalenka, and I'm taking Cocoa golf plus 180
That's not against the spread Cocoa got plus 180 Money line
Win in well the same against the spread
Win and cover against the spread. Okay.
Oh, again.
Okay.
That's not against the spread.
Charlotte?
That's money line.
Charlotte.
Yes, I am taking the Minnesota Timberwolves tonight
to beat the Washington Wizards.
This is one of the best teams in the league.
One of the worst teams in the league.
To beat them or to cover,
because beat them is the money line against the spread.
To cover.
Minus 11.
To cover.
Okay. To cover. To cover. I'm very bad at this day. against the spread there cover minus 11 to cover
Very bad at this day. Oh you did fine charlotte the rules are getting a little muddy Mike
Let's go next to Charlotte. I'm taking the Niners
against the spread so you're going opposite
And you know what I'm making this a two-unit play wow
Niners could lose out right play. What do you this a two-unit play wow Play what do you mean a two-unit play?
What's your unit it's what's your unit let me see a thumb hmm mines $50
What's a unit your standard betting unit it changes depending on PP who it is
Like cuz everyone gambles differently
normal feeling on the game what's your standard bet oh I don't that's a unit
okay well uni Stephen A Smith says that he wants to debate Donald Trump against
the spread that he would eat him alive Stephen A a smith says uh... he is also said in the past uh...
he doesn't want to run for president but he could do it
what are you laughing about it just sounds like steven a smith
i would watch that debate i would pay per view to watch it
that's how much i would look forward to that i think steven a smith in a debate
against anybody would be interested.
It's basically what he does on television every day.
But to watch him debate Trump, I think would be genuinely entertaining.
Trump on first take would be a thing.
It would be great.
Entertaining.
Would it?
Yeah.
Because the Republican debates have not been that.
Well, they also haven't had Trump in them.
No, the last time he partook in them. Well, they're embarrassing, but they're kind of entertaining.
Oh, yes.
I know that's terrible to say.
Not the last batch of them, I wouldn't say that they were.
Or he just starts like, or he's responding.
Like, someone says something to him,
and his response is like, you're a liar.
I mean, OK.
I mean, that is first take, right?
I mean, that's certainly the future of sports argument
television.
Your liar is a great name for a sports debate show.
Is this just his response to Aaron Rodgers
challenging Fauci?
He's like, now I have to challenge someone to a debate.
Like, oh, we're all doing this now.
Can I just be honest with the group right now?
I still haven't been able to shake Poppy's ear.
I looked inside the belly of the beast
and I didn't need the Irrify camera to pull out.
In fact, the Irrify camera was getting in the way
of what I felt was now a health crisis on my hands
that I needed to extract this,
and I only took half of it, by the way.
The other half is still not even launched.
It's just floating, suspended.
We don't gotta relive it, video team, thank you.
The most of it was still buried deep in there.
We can only see the tip.
Yeah, you could see the tip right there,
that little shiny thing on the bottom right of the air fry.
There is so much more in there.
Dude, your dad needs to go some place.
I felt so bad screaming about how disgusting it was
while he was sitting right here, by
the way.
That was the meanest I think I felt all week.
It made me feel better about my dad's ears.
I thought my ears were horrific.
No, your ears are great.
They look great.
Great day for grassy ears.
And nowhere near as hairy.
Oh, when I get home, I'm gonna take whatever I have in my bathroom.
Stop video.
Video, please.
I'm gonna blow dry my ears. I'm gonna do something with it. What? I don in my bathroom. Stop video. Video please. I'm gonna blow dry my ears.
I'm gonna do something with it.
What?
I don't know what.
That probably won't help.
What do you mean you're gonna blow dry your ears?
To melt the wax.
Is that what you were thinking?
To melt the wax?
I'll take a flamethrower to my ears to get rid of all that hair.
Just out of curiosity, you believe that you can go in with a blow dryer and do something
to what was happening inside your ear?
It's better than nothing.
It's a little bit of a torch. It's better than nothing. It's better than nothing.
It is not.
Put it on the pole, please, Juju.
Can you get out ear wax with a blow dryer?
I think so.
No, you're not supposed to do the heat stuff, Greg.
I'm sorry.
I think you're supposed to go to a professional.
How about a leaf blower?
Yes.
In re-watching the video, I barely got 10% of what's lodged in your dad's ear.
Mike, does it gross you out doing this to yourself
or was it particularly?
Well, honestly, I'm a little bit disappointed in myself.
In going inside of Greg's ear, especially,
and Dan's dad's ear, I found out that,
that my ears are hairier than theirs.
Well, I just started having a deep-seated resentment
for my grandfather at this point.
Charlotte, if I may, I'm going to take people back
to yesterday.
You have to understand, Mike Ryan introduced us
to this instrument and said it doesn't work correctly.
All it got in my ear was caught in a thicket
that didn't go anywhere.
In the cases of Greg and my father, that camera worked just fine.
That instrument works just fine.
It got deep in there, but with Mike, it never got through the shrubbery.
It never got to some golden disgust.
It just got stuck in Ancestor's hair.
Right, right.
No, I understand all that, but is it still gross?
It's not as gross, everyone loves their own brand.
Not on this one.
You know, everyone loves their own brand.
No, an ear, this labyrinth is disgusting for most men.
I'm telling you, Dan.
There's no part of my brand I don't like.
In rewatching that video, there is so much more meat left on that bone
that is stuck in your dad's ear.
Do you want to take that back?
No. I stand by it.
You stand by. I love my brand on all counts.
Tom Wham's Gams over here.
Look, every inch.
There's so much in there.
I barely got any of it.
Oh, it's so gross.
The random long black hair in Greg's ear was kind of interesting.
Yeah, terrible.
Because where did that, I don't think that's native
to your ear, Greg.
I think that's an eyelash from someone else's eye.
You know what, it could have been.
I'm all that.
Like, I'm all brundle fly wires in there.
You say it's an eyelash.
That was an electrical cord.
That was a wire of some sort of a different color.
I will say this though, when you guys
say that you're disgusted, I am disgusted by myself. I don't believe I have ever more unfairly
without warning exploited my father.
I agree. That was elder abuse.
It was rough.
You're going to win the footy next year for elder abuse.
That was unfair, what it is that I just did to my father where he came in today to eat pastelitos and with no warning we didn't tend to do that it just sort of sprung
from the sewage of what it is that we do every day and while it was happening I'm like man my
father's being a good sport about this but this is an uncool thing I've just put my father in front
of because we're doing much of this impromptu. It makes sense now why we get from Poppy so many. Huh? Yeah.
That he has, uh...
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Why?
Eh.
Because he has trouble hearing.
Eh.
Does your wax effect hearing?
Put it on the pole please.
Yeah, I feel like it should.
At Lebatar Show.
Yeah, it does.
Okay.
I mean, let's think scientifically about this. One would say common sense would indicate as such,
but I don't think it's an invalid question. Doesn't feel like one of those things though,
that you're like, well, surely earwax impacts hearing and then a doctor's like, I actually
know it doesn't have any effect on it. That's why I asked. I'm Dan, I only know about blood,
not ears. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Sure, you should debate Fauci.
Chris Cody, I like this character. It just, I'm in Dan the Know-It-All.
Oh, it's leads with him, I'm Dan.
I've noticed it's living in,
but people will enjoy that character.
Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at LeBatard show.
Does earwax really and actually affect anyone's hearing?
Thank you, Dan.
Ah?