The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Mystery Crate? Mystery Crate!
Episode Date: June 13, 2024The crew was quite literally rained out of the studio early today, so to make up for our lack of Hour 2, we are giving you Mystery Crate A DAY EARLY! Some of the Craters are upset that they couldn't p...erform during the latest Shootout Showdown, everyone laughs at Tony's tiny umbrella, Lucy shares her experiences as a seat filler at the ESPYs and the crew discusses the horrors of forgetting to put on deodorant. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Too much Cody on the mines. Cody on their minds.
Cody on my mind.
I'm like fucking pissed right now.
I know.
I want to talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
Just totally undercut the entire video.
No, no, we're not going to say who won.
The one that really shocked me was Succession.
They all shocked me because I know them all, but I couldn't think of it.
I've never had my brain freeze my brain freeze on that one.
The wire's been off the air for like 10 years.
I would have thought all the wires.
Yeah, when I think of it, I think of it as the Pronto wire.
2020 Veep's been off the air for like five years.
I might have forgot all the other ones.
Succession just finished.
That's the one that's crazy.
It's not that I, it's just that I literally had like a-
Oh no, I've been there, trust me.
You can't think. I know, like, Carlos Zambrano.
Yeah, you just- I had Barry like back there, but I was like man if boardwalk Empire to make it
If I didn't make it I didn't think I wasn't gonna say Barry
I'm surprised and deadwood to be honest deadwood, please never break
But you were just searching for any show you would have said any of those if you just thought if I could just think of
A name of a show and I couldn't that's where it is like with like the picture thing last week
I'm just like let me think of one that won't be a bad guess that's like
that's all you're going for. It's tough man because you think of like the Tony went to
like the oldest shows possible he was like Boardwalk Empire hasn't been on
for 15 years. Okay yeah but it's still a great show. Yeah but there's better shows.
What the subject of the game was or just not say who won? It's Taylor's thing no I
don't care you say who won. We can say who won. We can I don't care. You can say who won. I'll spoil everything.
We can say the subject and then we could say.
Let's start.
What we did, but not.
Welcome to the mystery crate, by the way.
Yeah, welcome to the mystery crate.
I'm so fucking heated right now.
I just said an FDF word.
That's how mad I am.
Wow.
You don't have to mark it.
You're good.
Okay. I marked it anyways.
I just haven't had a brain fart like that in a long time. There's something that happens to your brain when you sit at that shootout showdown couch
When Taylor when Taylor turns the camera when that camera turns on the lights turn on and the microphones in your hand and they
Ask you what are the 10 greatest Mac shows again very subjective according to Esquire
Give me a break, but I couldn't even name a show because I had just had, you guys ever have that?
Your brain just freezes.
Just gone.
Just blame COVID.
I just didn't have, yeah, I guess I'll blame COVID.
I just, there wasn't a thought passing in between my ears.
It was just like.
For like six minutes, there were no thoughts in my head.
Yep.
Just a tumbleweed.
Do you guys sleep with a sound machine?
No.
No, I've thought about it.
I feel like kids with parents, excuse me,
parents with kids do.
Well, my kid has a noise machine.
Really?
In her room that we put on, because she likes it.
But I don't sleep with it.
But like when she was a baby,
did you guys have like a machine
that would do like white noise or whatever?
We still have it, not for us though, it's in her room.
So she was always sleeping in your room?
No, no, it's in the kid's room. You put a noise machine in there room No, no, it's in the kids room. You put a noise machine. No, I get that
My question is when she was a baby growing up. Did you did she sleep in your room?
Very rarely. Okay, not as much some people have big problems with that. Yeah. Yeah. No, we were lucky with that
Billy as a father as the only other father here your kids infiltrated your bed
Yes, they have do you sleep with the sound machine? I don't know we have one in my daughter's room though
what's the sound of choice just white noise like in South Park what does it
sound like that's a shit joke I like all yeah brown noise is kind of like white
noise but a little deeper more like bassy I feel yeah I'm gonna search for right. I used to fall asleep to like lo-fi music. Okay, then here's brown noise. Yes
Awesome if you play
That's like rain
Bart noise all of Plot you sorry I used to do like rivers that is not really like rivers
I'm gonna play white noise now so you guys can get the difference.
I think it's the difference in pitch.
I did not like that.
Race talk on Mystery Crate.
I do like rain or thunderstorms.
I love...
Thunderstorms is a big one for me too for a while.
I love thunderstorms.
I like thunderstorms.
I like waves too.
We're headed into that time of the year where you don't need the sound machine.
That is so jarring.
Yeah, it's just raining.
That's true.
The rain actually has woken me up because it's been louder than the sound machine. That is so jarring. Yeah, it's just raining. That's true. The rain actually has woken me up
because it's been louder than my sound machine.
Also, one other thing,
we talked about this like a few years ago,
how there's no good sounds on the Apple alarm.
Well, they added like a bird song thing.
You can wake up to birds chirping.
Except last weekend, I was at a wedding
and I was in a place where there are actual birds chirping and at like 4 a.m
It woke me up because my brain is now wired to wake up to bird sounds so backfired. I just laid there
Yeah, it was kind of peaceful though. I have cricket sounds
Yeah
It's probably counterproductive. Hmm cicadas, right? Haven't seen a single cicada this year. We don't do those here
The videos are terrifying though
Lucy you feel like you're missing out, right? No, what are you guys missing? I don't
It's like I don't feel like I'm missing at all
I want to be as far away from wherever that's happening as possible because I saw a girl on tik tok who's like sobbing in
Her car. I was like what is oh my god quit crying get over it
And then I saw another tick tock four down, of an entire just like-
Four down?
The four videos down.
I know, it's like an odd detail there.
Scroll scroll scroll.
The four videos down.
Well, I think it was important
because it added some perspective.
It did.
And so I hated the girl at first
because I said, don't film yourself crying on the internet.
And then I saw like this wall
that was just covered in cicadas
and it was the most disgusting, scary thing I've ever seen.
I said, you know what?
I would cry about that.
And then I said, I gotta go back and like her video, give her some support,
some monetary. You gotta pay for me. Was she crying because of the
cicadas or was she crying because of something else? She was in her car and she
needed to walk from her car to her apartment but there were so many
cicadas out that they were like flooding you know like the doorway and her like
all outside her car in the ground so that she was like I can't walk because there are too many bugs and I said girl get over it can't be that bad
And then I saw some evidence that oh my god. I am so sorry
Can we can we see what these things look like cuz I'm huge. Yeah, do you Lucy?
Do you remember they grasshoppers ago? No, there I was not a life. So they're cicada
But what is that? What's a cicada Billy?? They're giant bugs. And they shed their skin.
But what kind of bug?
Give me a family member.
I don't know what genus they're in.
I feel like it's the northern palmetto bug.
No.
Have you ever had a palmetto bug down here?
Yeah, like a big ass cockroach.
The northern palmetto bug is just a cockroach, I think.
Well, the cockroach is down here, too.
Yes.
Trust me.
I feel like it's a hybrid between a moth and a grasshopper.
Does that make sense?
Think about a normal fly that we'd seen,
not a mosquito, think of like a fly,
but like on like steroids, like crazy steroids.
Yeah, I see here on the screen.
But they're huge.
It's big.
And they swarm.
So you'll walk past like a tree trunk
and there will be so many cicadas on it that it's like,
well, is that tree moving?
And then you're like, oh my God, there's,
I just sounded so Midwestern when I said that.
Oh my God, the cicadas.
Jessica.
Holy crap.
Did you see those cicadas?
But they're really, they're-
So you miss these animals.
I do, I kind of miss them.
They also make a noise.
I just feel like I'm, I don't miss them,
but I feel like I'm left out of like the cicada stuff.
Like everyone's talking about cicadas.
All my family's talking about cicadas.
All my friends are talking about cicadas.
And we're just down here in Florida getting rain dumped on us floods to be honest. I hadn't rained a long time
Yeah, we were having drought like conditions. Yeah, I felt like we were really lucky with the rain since like December and now we're just everything's underwater again
And there's no cicadas. It's just it's just a front. It's gonna pass and then we'll get back to well
My brother is a amateur
Really?
Yeah, this guy pinched his nipples to like Doppler radar
There are more annoying person though than that friend that is like thinks he knows what the weather is gonna be yeah
Yeah, I hate that guy. I'm the worst
We're gonna pull the cicada video in a second so you guys can see what they actually like oh
There's definitely a lot of moisture in here. Oh
There they are those are just cicadas like that's it looks like leaves on the ground
But they're just cicadas on the ground and on the walls literally everywhere. Oh, man
But yeah 16 years ago or 17 years ago. I can't keep forgetting which I like vividly remember
Walking around I was like maybe like 14 or 15.
I remember walking around, seeing the cicadas everywhere
and they're like, this is the last time
they'll be back for 16 years.
And it was like a whole thing.
People are selling, they go underground
and then they hibernate for like 16 years.
Like they spawn and then they bury them under the ground.
And then everyone was selling like novelty,
cicada soaps and stuff
It was like a whole thing. There's a whole so these bugs like Dan Lebatard
There was an economy created I've asked Ron before if animals take vacations and they don't
My dog is on perpetual vacation
That's the truth. So what is Gino being an amateur meteorologist? Oh, no
We were just sitting back there doing the show and we were talking about the rain
because the parking garage we have to park in now
gets very flooded.
Does it?
Yeah, so when we were parking there yesterday,
the water was coming up, it was flooding,
and then when I got there today,
there was still a lot of water.
So I'm like, if it rains the same as it did yesterday,
like is my car gonna be in danger?
And then Gino goes out of his way
to show me the National Hurricane Center radar
and like, oh, we're getting a tropical storm.
And he was like, he was very excited.
But is he wrong? I mean, what does that do to Josh?
Well, because that's how he brought up the storms.
Did you miss that part where you're paying attention?
No, the point is, so like, he's trying to make you feel better about your car,
but then he pulls up like a tropical storm.
He just likes to brag about storms and when they're coming. And he loves feeder bands.
That's the worst.
That's his thing. He loves feeder bands. He loves a good feeder band.
Yeah.
Terminology.
I don't know.
Me and Gino need to,
he was the only person that brought an umbrella to work.
I have an umbrella.
I have an umbrella.
Yesterday, no one brought an umbrella.
Everyone walked in and was like, Louis was like,
I don't even have a shirt.
Billy came in in like a full wetsuit.
I'm wet.
Danny Vanitas yesterday, two umbrellas.
What?
Yeah, he gave me one.
He saved me.
Yeah. That's our guy. I have a tiny umbrella so Jess that's a small one that black bag
right there is mine reach into the pocket and pull out the umbrella that's
supposed to take open it no I didn't say open it just to pull it out the other
pocket that that is very you see you are too large for man there's no way that
umbrella covers you. That's bad luck. Open that up, Billy.
Billy doesn't believe in bad luck.
Open that up.
Make my own luck.
Yeah, Billy is the bad luck.
How do you do this?
Someone get a mirror for us.
What is this?
Let's bring a mirror.
There you go.
Keep pushing.
There you go.
There's Tony.
This did not protect you from anything.
There's no way that covers Tony.
I didn't buy it.
This can't protect you from anything.
I know.
There's no way that covers Tony.
I know.
I didn't buy that umbrella. How do you even close this? My it my wife bought it for me she's like you should have one in your
pocket from like a play like a normal umbrella
I love a golf umbrella oh yeah so I had a golf every umbrella so you guys you guys remember the day that there was that tropical storm in December?
Yeah, nobody told us about and like there was 60 mile an hour winds down here. Okay, so that the one where we worked from home
During right or no, I think we were here because I was here. I was filming a Tony tonight
I think that day so we get here and then there's 75 mile an hour winds going through bike
Very wind Fifth Avenue right here like heading to the port is a very windy street So we get here and then there's 75 mile an hour winds going through like very wind, fifth
avenue right here, like heading to the port is a very windy street.
I don't know how to explain it.
Even on a regular day, there's just a lot of wind.
So that day was magnified by like five.
So there's buildings and it has to go somewhere.
So it goes in between and makes a wind tunnel.
They constructed Miami so that when it drizzles, there is flooding.
Yeah.
So I had a golf umbrella, but the thing is, I was taking the train that day.
Again, torrential downpour, whatever.
There was a homeless lady, and I gave her my umbrella.
Aw.
Yeah.
As opposed to that lady who didn't help up when she fell.
Yeah, I think that's the metro rule.
I tried to learn from my mistake.
Because it's a story just so you could
say you gave someone an umbrella.
No, the story is I had a golf umbrella.
I gave it to her so that now I have that umbrella.
It doesn't protect me from anything
I might as well just get wet umbrellas here are kind of tricky though because if that winds blowing
It's more of a detriment if the wind is blowing with that umbrella forget it's gone. I'm gonna let it go
It's in the bay
You have an umbrella going it's pouring on you and you're approaching your car
So it's time to open the car door that's tough get in and it's this move of now
I got a close the umbrella. Swivel around.
You close it.
Are you throwing it like, I usually
go passenger seat floor with the umbrella.
I try to get everything wet.
That's like the dry.
Because it's wet.
The outside of it's wet.
I think you just.
You're getting in your car.
I know.
I put it on the side.
Like, where my clothes?
Right against the door?
Right against the door.
You kind of just got to accept there's
going to be water in the car.
There's no way you're going to get away from the car.
Cars are made to have water.
Yeah, that's not.
Yeah. I don't know about that. Like, for a rain. I'm not saying jumping into a canal in the car. There's no way you're gonna get away from that. Cars are made to have water. Yeah, that's not, I don't know about that.
Like for a rain, I'm not saying jumping into a canal
with a car, but I'm saying like for rain,
like it's built to have that.
Sustainable.
Built for tough.
Like a rock.
Like a rock.
I rain-coated it yesterday.
Yeah.
How'd that go?
He had rain boots.
Oh, it was great, yeah, I had boots in my trunk
that I forgot were in there, I bought them years ago. Do you still have your dog's boots? Oh, your had rain boots. Oh, it's great. Yeah, I had boots in my trunk that I forgot were in there I bought them years ago your dog's boots
Yes, I do yeah, but it was
Don't be did not like well, oh, where's a raincoat when it's raining
Don't be was like would walk like you put the boots on a rope dopey was walking like a baby giraffe
Just learning like really high
pizza wrap just learning like lifting his leg really high. Couldn't figure out how to do it.
He's doing like the shake on the way down.
Got like no traction.
I was like, I can't put these boots on this dog again.
I have a question for you.
What?
Do you think Willow has any idea how good she has it?
I don't think any dog goes.
It's like kids though.
Yeah.
Like I feel like dogs and kids are in the same boat.
Like some kids like just, they don't know.
I will tell you this.
I had friends come last week on Friday to visit the studio
and they were asking where Willow was. Oh really? They were like, say we were expecting a dog today. There was no dog. They don't know I will tell you this I had friends come last week on Friday to visit the studio and
They were asking where willow was like say we were expecting a dog today. There's no dog. Yeah, so willows
babysitter is Hilde sister and
She makes willow like homemade dinner every night and so when willow comes back from
Homemade like she she makes dinner for the dogs. Me too, kibble. This is when you're at Alpo.
When we're out of town.
I thought you had like a daily babysitter every day.
No, no, and she also like,
she's doing this professionally now.
If anyone needs a pet sitter, DM me on Instagram,
cause I got the plug.
She makes Willow dinner, like very nice dinner.
And then I think now when we come back from a trip.
Like a salmon?
Like what does she make?
Like she'll roast carrots and bone broth?
Will is disappointed when you're back. Yeah, Willow knows yeah crap
She's super sad when we pick her up now from the petsitter back to the dry shit
I would think Lee would throw it down for you know for Willow
Yeah, you see grocery prices, buddy
Yeah, like we'll give her like some extra like chicken and stuff
But we're not making her dinner every night now that now we're bringing up expensive food, I'm gonna ask you guys
because you might have seen it on TikTok, I don't know what these guys are.
What's up with Erwan? And why is it so expensive?
Erwan.
Okay, whatever it is.
That's a Lucy question, she's an LA girlie.
What is up with that shit?
So are you guys familiar with what Erwan is?
$40 bags of ice.
It is a luxury grocery store based in Los Angeles.
It's really not that much more quality than a Whole Foods,
but it is an insane like price jump.
Like I saw somebody like a TikTok the other day
and it was just like a tub of berries for $60.
And they're not very special berries.
They're just regular, normal, like strawberry, raspberry,
blackberry little mix there.
Everything is wildly expensive and it like brand itself is very healthy and they became like really famous
Because they have like a smoothie bar there and Haley Bieber did a smoothie with them
So people will go to Erewhon spend like $25 on a smoothie and if you like want to get a little snack for the road
That's like another 20 bucks. It's the most expensive grocery store in the world, I believe.
It's a Psyop is what it is.
It's like, how much can we put up?
I saw that there.
Where people will go and buy shit
that you can buy for 45 cents for $45.
I didn't know what this was yesterday,
but like, or the other day.
The other day, yeah.
Definitely not yesterday.
Not yesterday, you're right.
During an interview on the show this week,
we were talking to Christopher Mintz-Plasse. And-Plasse and he held up a drink that he was drinking and Dan accused him of
drinking out of a pickle jar and now that I'm on the site it was from this
grocery store like I recognize this logo from that interview. So what was it that
he was drinking? I don't know. It looks like a bunch of ranch shit inside a jar. He had like an ice coffee looking drink. You two guys, take a guess here.
I guess they're called bushels of organic green grapes.
How much do you think it costs?
At Arowan?
At Arowan.
How many pounds though?
6.99.
Hold on, how many pounds?
This one looks like it's like three and a half.
Guess low here.
Three and a half pounds of grapes.
So you gotta guess price per pound.
Yeah.
I would say it's probably.
7.99.
It's probably, it's probably are you
doing per pound or the whole pound bushel well do you normally do groceries
yeah do you know how much things cost is really the question generally grapes I
can't say the grapes that everyone have to be like $45 799 a pound oh no but the
but the bushel I'm looking at is $28 yeah no but I usually buy like that pack
of grapes that's not even by weight I usually buy like that pack of grapes
That's not even by weight. It's just like this pack. Yeah
This much. Yeah. Yeah, you can get a peanut butter
Protein smoothie and a little jar thing looks like 20 ounces. It's $13
These just sound like normal high grocery prices. No
It's really like it's cuz like so I lived in like a very like's, cause like, so I lived in like a very,
like I lived in Brentwood, so I lived in like the,
kind of rich, you know.
You, LeBron, OJ.
OJ, OJ is a word association.
Every single time I'd be like, I live in Brentwood,
and they'd look, cause they knew, they knew it somewhere,
I'd be like, OJ.
Do you ever drive by the place?
Like everyone has to, right?
I think we drove past it once.
Or like where it was.
It was nice because it was a great neighborhood
to walk around in, cause there are a lot of famous houses.
So I lived like half a mile from where Marilyn Monroe lived.
So I walked to her house and also I had a really like I my favorite thing to do on the weekend.
So I would just go for a little walk around the neighborhood and then I just walk into all the open houses for sale.
Oh yeah. And so I would just go check out these like 15 million dollar mansions every Saturday.
So Lucy question for you. living in Brentwood where did you live? You lived in a million dollar
house? I had a rent control department in Brentwood it was a perfect department in
the world I was so sad I had to leave so it was like a dingy old apartment in
just a crazy nice area and it was like the best deal possible. It was twice the size of what I have now in Miami
for half the price.
Like it was perfect.
How'd you get it?
Honestly, just luck.
So I had two roommates when I first moved to LA,
and they were nice, but boundaries were kind of an issue.
So I said, okay, this might not be the best fit for me.
And I applied for this apartment and I didn't get it.
And then the lady who like helped me with that application reached
out and was like hey I know you didn't get this apartment but there's another
one that's about to open up do you want to see it and I was like sure I was the
first person to see it and I was like please give me this apartment and it was
so awesome it was perfect I could walk everywhere I used to walk to Michael's
and I get to walk to my friend's house I would walk Michaels being the store
yeah the the craft store.
I think most people assume that they weren't thinking
of Michael's house.
No, because she said a friend after Michael's.
My friend, Mac and Nolan, lived down the street,
so I could go walk and see Mac and Nolan,
and that was really, really nice.
And then go to Michael's.
And then I would go to Michael's.
Gotcha.
I just had like, it was a perfect apartment,
but it was like really ritzy,
and I used to see celebrities all the time,
like in the little like shopping center, which that was cool.
Wow. You were right, Billy. Why don't you, why don't you just like sublet it? Could you
do that? That's against the rules. If you don't want to give it up. Yeah, but who cares?
Yeah. You know, you pay the rent and then you charge someone else the rent to stay in
the same place. Double it. So you exactly right. And then also that's a little cash.
How much do you guys think the cocktail ice balls are an era one like circular? Yeah, you get a count eight count
I'd probably say
Two bucks two bucks a sphere
16 bucks 16 bucks
Ten bucks ten bucks. It's 30 for eight ice balls
Water that's expensive. That's fuck. That's the first one where I'm like, but it's ice balls with a Z
So I guess I guess that makes it worth it
Yeah, Lucy mentioned all like the stars living in Brentwood. I live a good star tour in LA
Yeah, we did one. Yeah, we're supposed to make content of it. I mean that was tough
You've done one in Miami
Yeah
when my when I moved in my dad and brother were here and I was like what do you guys want to do and my
Dad was like we're gonna go on a celebrity boat tour. Oh a boat which one you go on Star Island one
And so we see DJ Khaled's place. We saw all their place I was like, we're gonna go on a celebrity boat tour. So we- A boat? Which one did you go on? The Star Island one? Yeah.
Did you see DJ Khaled's place?
We saw all their places.
Which one?
I think I've been on that one.
My dad is convinced that he saw Ben Affleck.
Wow.
On a boat.
And I said, that was just a man.
He said, but they said that was J.Lo's house.
I said, well, that's a good point.
But I know he's not living there anymore, sorry.
I pulled out of, when I was in LA with my parents,
probably when I was like LA with my parents probably
When I was like 16 we went on a star tour and we saw Kevin Costner Wow pulling out of his house
It was like we thought all there was like seven vans around cuz they must have been like Kevin's Kevin's on the move
So we're just it was just it was just like a car Kevin It was just Costner pulling out and then I was just being like oh look there's Costner. It was great
Adam Sandler was the most famous person I saw and he was just like...
Basketball shorts.
Yeah, basketball shorts, just like...
Oversized polo.
And then I saw Kate Hudson getting coffee once and my sister is named after Kate Hudson.
So I said, oh, I should go tell her. And I said, my sister's named after her, not me.
Hey, my sister's named after you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
Are you named after anyone?
No, I'm named after no one. My sister's named after you. Yeah. OK. OK, yeah. Are you named after anyone? No. I'm named after no one.
My sister's named after Kate Hudson.
And then my, I don't know, Jack's named after.
Pick.
Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow, yeah.
Jack Nicholson.
Yeah, any Jack.
Jack Skellington.
Jack Black.
Yeah.
The first celebrity I saw was so embarrassing.
I was like, this is the worst celebrity to see.
It just was such a lame one that I was like, embarrassing. I was like, this is the worst celebrity to see. Like it just was such a lame one that I was like,
it was, I was on the beach and I was like set up
and then Niamh from Catfish set up right next to me.
And I said, well, that's kind of a lame first one.
Is that the main guy from Catfish?
I don't know his name.
Yeah, who was like, he, like,
I know who she's talking about.
He like harassed women.
Yeah.
But he ended up posting something about how you shouldn't harass women in an elevator
And then it came out that he like harassed women in an elevator and you're like ah who would have thought that would have happened
The worst who's the most famous person you guys have been around like not interacting with but just like been in proximity to let's say
Like within ten feet of are you gonna do your heat player? No, what's my heat player?
Like the one that's in this building.
Cole Swider? Oh no, no today, today. Should I tell this story? That's why I was trying to be a little
big. Billy was almost in an elevator. Almost in an elevator today. He's the 15th guy on the heat
roster for those who know. If you're being generous. He puts in work every day he's working on that
arena. We always see him walking to the arena. Always working out. Just him in a water bottle.
I once was in an elevator with Stone Cold Steve Austin
in New York with my family.
That's the best one I have in terms of like
just stumbling upon a celebrity.
I went to the ESPYs and I was a seat filler.
So I ended up getting to sit in the front row.
So I was sitting next to like crazy famous people.
Oh my God.
So it was like 2019 and Giannis won
male athlete of the year.
So he stands up and like, you can see me pop up
cause I was sitting right in front of him.
Is it like, I'm so curious about that feet,
like seat fillers, like, is that a thing
where there's a room full of you and it's like,
we need six.
So basically like the way it works is I,
when I moved to LA, I was just living out there
for an internship at the time.
So I was still in college and I had a,
there was an Iowa grad named Isaiah Scales,
who's an awesome person, deserves a shout out,
who lived there and he was like,
hey, you should, we have an extra seat filler spot
for the SMS, do you wanna come with?
I was like, absolutely.
So, it's the day before, I said,
oh my God, I don't know what I'm gonna wear.
So I said, I have to go spend a lot of money
because I want people to think I'm an athlete girlfriend.
If I'm an athlete girlfriend,
they're gonna give me a good seat.
Because I wanted to be close up,
I wanted to be in the front.
I wanted to see all the famous people.
So basically you show up early and everybody's dressed up.
Some people are like, girl, you look too casual.
They're gonna put you in the back.
Jean jacket just ain't working for me.
Yeah, I'm like, we're not doing a romper look, all right?
We're at the ESPYs. So I have this beautiful ball gown on. Wait, let's see, there's plenty. Oh, I'm like we're not doing we're not doing like a romper look all right We're at the espy's mm-hmm, so I have this like beautiful ball gown on wait. Let's see. They're playing. Oh my god
My hair was blonde tough. I'm that blonde. It was a really bad face Wow whip that hair around
Look at that. That's awesome. Why didn't you Dap them up?
I felt weird the guy next to me tried to do it and I was like absolutely not look at you just
Wow The guy next to me tried to do it, and I was like, absolutely not. Look at you just there. Wow.
You played the part, you just looked like
someone who's supposed to be there.
And like the cool thing is like I had like
my big time moment, I didn't tell anybody I was going.
So then-
They were like, is that you on screen?
All of a sudden everyone was like,
is that Lucy at the ESPYs?
I thought she just had an internship in LA,
and now she's-
Who's the guy next to you, is he also-
He was another seat filler who did not know
how to behave himself.
So like they had rules specifically.
So you would go and you would,
it's like they would put you in a random seat
and they'd like, don't ask for autographs.
Don't take pictures.
Don't have your phone out.
Just like be chill.
So I started off sitting next to the Texas A&M football team
and then as people leave the event
or go and take their award,
they need to fill those seats for when the crowd pans over.
So I started off there and you wear like a wristband.
So then there were people who like direct the aisle.
So they were like, okay, you go here.
So then I moved and I was sitting right behind Dwight Howard
and that sucked because I couldn't see one thing.
He was so tall.
And then finally, it was like my final time switching
and this girl came up and I looked nice.
I knew that's why she picked me,
because I dressed up, I knew how to play the part,
and she said Jared Goff just left,
go take his seat, and he was sitting front row.
And now, of the three hour what show it was,
how long do you actually end up being out there
sitting in seats?
So the entirety of the show.
So I was there the whole time.
I was in the front row for probably the last hour and a half.
That's good though.
It was so fun. Do you know whose seat you filled? Jared Goff. Oh my bad. I thought hour and a half. That's good though. It was so fun.
Do you know who seat you filled?
Jared Goff.
Oh my bad.
I thought that was a different seat.
I can't remember who.
And then Rob Gronkowski was like right next to me on the aisle.
You show up in the most random places.
You're like on a random website for like the Big Ten Championship or something.
What was it?
Oh yeah, that's embarrassing.
Yeah, when she was like what, 17 or something like that?
Yeah, it was like me and my little sister like 10 years ago.
But yeah, the ESPYs are cool. If you have the chance to do C-Filler like there's like a website that you can sign up for.
I can get you into the Latin Grammys with a C-Filler. Really? Yeah because I know. Just me? Yeah.
Chris that would be funny. Chris you could pass for like. I know there are some redhead Hispanics out there.
Canelo. Canelo is a Mexican. Dude you can be Canelo. Now keep going.
Right. There's one other guy I'm not gonna say, you can be Canelo. Now keep going. Right.
There's one other guy I'm not going to say.
We'll be right back.
Ha ha ha.
Guys, it's time for You Betcha.
Betcha.
You Betcha, which is sponsored by DraftKings.
Stay tuned because we hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer
throughout the show.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Wow.
All right, so.
So we're taking Messi to show up to the stadium.
No.
What am I gonna learn about DraftKings
the rest of the show?
DraftKings.
I don't know, yeah.
Maybe how to pronounce their name right.
Pay attention.
So the Copa America is about to start,
which means that Messi and Luis Suarez
are not with Inter Miami.
And if you watch any Inter Miami this year,
they're god awful when he doesn't play. So this weekend we're gonna take the Philadelphia Union
who are hosting Inter Miami in Philadelphia and we're gonna take both
teams to score which we always do which gives you a nice plus 185. Against Inter
Miami? Yeah there's no messy there's no Suarez like I think 80% of their goals
come from those two guys and that's been You Betcha! And now since we already
visited the TikTok realm once this episode,
I found this guy's page that I'm like absolutely obsessed with.
Is this Jasper?
No, it's not Jasper.
It's a guy who's...
I haven't thought about it since that point and now I just thought about it again for a second.
Tony was really upset about the whole thing.
My sister is changing her voicemail to a recording of Jasper.
Oh, I love it.
Saying leave a message. I love it. Somebody sent me a comment from
YouTube. One of my friends sent me a comment from YouTube saying that that doll has done
more things than Tony's ever done in his life or something like that. It just made me laugh.
Look, I'm not trying to discredit you, but she is very accomplished. She's hot right now
But I found this other account where it's basically a guy that people hire to call people and give them bad news
Hmm, it's called John breaks bad news So, of course I was on this page all afternoon looking for the best one and I found a pretty good one
We're gonna play it now. Hi Eve. This is John from John breaks bad news. I have some bad news from Brooke for you
From him from brooke
brooke here
uh... she didn't get
uh... looks like bergman
okay okay so she boned your dad back in a way
uh... all the time she joked about it
uh... it actually happened and she had a couple drinky poos and lost her moral
compass and i ended up uh... it actually happened and she had a couple of people's in lost her moral compass
and i ended up sleeping with them
uh... because uh... she still thinks about him gardening
uh...
uh... and uh... she was always attracted to his particular attention to the
plants
you know them so well. So, sorry bud, that your dad got boned by your friend. Thank
you for your call. I was super polite on this call. Do you mind leaving me a review on my
Facebook page? I don't have Facebook. You don't have Facebook. Well, what about like my Instagram? Can you like yeah? Yeah
It's John breaks bad news
J-o-n breaks bad news
J-o-n breaks bad news got it. I will all right. I love you
You were great Wow. Love you, too. Oh see he gets it. She got it. You gotta give it back
What a fucking bitch
Yeah, I spent hours on that guy's account like looking at that it's that all it takes is that one idea
To be like really good, which is hey
Let me call people and tell them bad news from other people for money are hiring him to do this
Yeah, like yeah, I mean this is kind of cameos thing. This is yeah, but not that exclusively bad
We need to think of something like he was he must get like ten break up with my girlfriends a day and
Cuz you know, yeah break up my significant other I don't have to do it. You still got to do it though
Well, you got to deal you got to deal with it. She boned your dad is just great
It's like the family guy bit where she's like, oh your dad's such a nerd. Have you guys seen that? I'm not gonna go to the whole thing
Does that have to do it? Yeah, yeah
Okay, I feel like everyone had one of those stories in their high school, right?
Like a kid well, it's like the plot didn't have anyone in your high school that hooked up with a parent of someone else
Nice. No, not a parent. I had to see your year. I'm hoping I had a year
Yeah, I had a friend who she told me that when she was a senior that she had a
Substitute teacher who was like really flirty and then after she graduated
She like a month or two after she hit him up on Facebook and they hooked up
After she graduated. I thought it was more common. There was I know a couple
I don't hear about it. I just went to a public school. I don't know. I, I know. I,
I, there's a lot of things. There's a lot of 80s movie plots. I'm not,
I'm not going to talk about, but I know. Yeah. Okay.
And I got another thing. Uh, Chris was going through a ramen phase.
I'm absolutely bleeding to fit. Sorry guys.
Oh, I'll tell you all the drama from mine.
Chris went through a ramen phase or I think you're still in it.
Yeah, still in it.
So there's a specific ramen that got banned in Denmark for being too spicy
So there's no throw up the picture. Yeah, I'm not a big hot spicy guy
so well, it looks like there was a already not a fan of this there was a group of
like YouTube videos that were coming out and they were showing people eating this and they were like dying and basically
Denmark it's funny because the name of
The place that handles the health is the veterinary
Veterinarian and health food systems for Denmark. I didn't know those two things went together
Hey, how about how about this guys? How about you guys worry about the dogs and the cats leave leave the ramen up to me?
Don't try to ban ramen. Okay, that would never happen in the United States of America Jack
What would never happen banning food because it's too spicy
Never not on my watch not on this country's watch buddy since 1776
You're not in a position to be banning. You're not bad. Neither
Neither is the veterinary health systems of Denmark
It says the Danish Veterinary and Food Administration ease if you have the products you should discard them or return them to the store
They were purchased. Yeah, okay
Try to tell somebody in America to go return some hot cheetos. Couldn't even get him to wear a mask to Starbucks. So
Chris are you the ramen phase like how much of a phase is it? Well, I don't really do it
I don't make it myself at home. Like that's I like make your own. Yeah, it's like I'm more I'm into like I
Or go to a spot like I'm a big I love ramen as
Like what do you want for dinner tonight? Ramen is a big choice for me when we went to Vegas a couple of weeks ago Mike sent me a ramen place
That was the place we were supposed to go. Yeah, never once. Yeah, I never went to I didn't realize how far the circle
No, I didn't go either
It was so we didn't have a car and like Vegas
Obviously had never been to like the strip. We had been to Fremont Street
That was my first time in Vegas, but when you talk about how far things are like on the strip, you don't realize
Yeah, it's a mile away, but it's like
400 blocks. All right, you're like, oh, I'm at the MGM Graham the hotel right next to me is this hotel but try walking
Yeah, two miles a thousand degrees like what is like 500 feet that you gotta walk
There's only a few spots on the strip where you can get to a bunch of hotels like on a little walk like around the mirage if
you're staying like at the paris hotel that's where i'm saying well that's pretty good central
location that's actually a good one for walking yeah if you're at the mgm yeah and you're like in
the back of it you're right across the street you're like oh three dollar blackjack at hooters
hotel is that hooters still hotel still thing i remember staying at the black at the mgm graham
years ago and looking across it like oh the Hooters hotel has three dollar black
There's no way the Hooters hotel
But it was like it's right across street
But it was a long ass walk to get there and there was because obviously I went for a conference with my wife
So she was at the conference and I was like, you know what? Let me just take a little stroll around town
You know, yeah, just kind of just hanging out just take a little stroll around town. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just kind of just hanging out, just a little stroll,
just walking around, just doing my thing.
Guys, I'm sad to report it is no longer the Hooters Hotel
and Casino.
What is it?
It is now the OYO, O-Y-O Hotel and Casino.
OYO.
Damn.
Classic.
Rest in peace.
There's a lot of sad casinos in Vegas.
But behind Fremont, when we were there,
we were walking to that place where
Mike was doing the DJ thing
We passed that thing
I think it was called the diamond blue or something other and it had dollar blackjack tables and I was like damn me and Christian
Hit that up and then I'm like, it'll probably be so sad. Yeah, so sad. It's smoky in there
Like Chris Cody filmed inside the blue Durango
Like one dollar blackjack broke ass. You're like what I really wish there was a
casino like in Vegas Vacation where it's just like war.
Which hand is it in?
Exactly.
You lose.
What can I think the statute of limitations
over because we already did it.
But remember we were trying to do.
We were going to do our version of that.
Right.
We were going to do a casino like Levitarcho
Casino at the Circa.
Where fans could come and we would all
have a table of like, all right, my game is guess the number I'm thinking
of. My lasting memory was me and you sitting down in the last day to play
$50 a hand blackjack and just getting destroyed. Yeah with that one Carl right?
Yeah it was all like tough guys. I didn't want to add them I don't want to put a bit so
but I just whenever we sat down I never gotten back up from a table so fast. I'm a, I'm,
I'm very proud to be part of Billy's most human moment of all time.
Mine. Wait, what does that mean?
You've never been more alive than that moment right there. Oh, then that,
that ball spinning on that roulette table, he's looking for black. No,
we'll put a hundred bucks on black. Nice, hit it?
No.
Oh, no.
The way you said alive, like he was happy. Yeah, but he was alive, no, he was alive in the game saying like I'm gonna put I'm gonna put my
Per diem at the end of this trip all on one like spin of the roulette
And I'm either gonna make I'm either gonna double it or like it was free because it was my per diem
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. He's talking a big game. You're gonna do it. I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it right we're about to leave like the trip still hadn't done it
Well, I just forgot forgot. That's not true. That's a lie because we asked you about it
and you didn't do it.
I forgot.
I just remember that you and Tony went to go
do the roulette thing.
Well, because I took out money
and I was like, I have $200,
that's all I'm gonna get the entire week, right?
And I didn't do any of it when I was in Vegas
because we were busy going back and forth.
You were working.
Yeah, we were doing things the entire time.
So like that last day for whatever reason, just because it's bad flights back to Miami,
we had like 12 hours of nothing to do.
We had to take the red eye and they kicked us out of the hotel room too.
Yeah.
We had a casino or nothing.
Had nothing to do.
I wanted to go back down to, you know, like the strip and just kind of look around and
see what was going on there because I didn't get to see any of it while we were there but no one
wanted to go with me so I was just like was that your first time in Vegas yeah
so I was just stuck in in the casino lovely casino but I was you know in the
casino for you know 13 straight hours before we had to go to the airport and I
lost $100 like instantly playing roulette like very quickly and I'm like, yeah, no,
I'm not going to continue to do this.
I'm not going to lose $200.
But then again, I was in the casino for like 12 straight hours just watching Mike Fuentes
play and then I convinced Rose or someone to like, let's just go walking down, you know,
Fremont and do something.
But it was freezing and all our jackets were in like our carry on.
So like I didn't have the proper attire so we went back in and
Then on the way out. I'm like, you know what? I have a hundred dollars left
I'm gonna put it all on I was betting red I think and I got washed out like really quick and then we got
The exact same table after I was gone like you look at the screen and it was like 12 straight red
One black when I was at that table, no lie, there was six greens,
which is crazy.
It's impossible.
It was impossible.
I just remember, I was playing crafts, I think,
with Cody at that time, and I remember seeing you
and Billy walk over there, I'm like, okay,
Billy's putting money down.
Well, no, because we saw all that,
I had this $100 burning a hole in my pocket,
and I said, I'm gonna just break even,
and I'm gonna be good.
Win or lose, that was it.
And there were so many reds on the board,
I'm like, okay, the reds are coming up now,
I'm just gonna put it all on red, right?
And naturally it was black and I lost immediately
and then like the, I don't even know, the person,
what is the title?
The dealer?
The dealer, yeah, gave me like a pouty face,
like sad and like pitying me and like
I just remember I just remember you and Tony walked over there. I turned to Chris I rolled once I turned around
I couldn't find you back. Look to my left. You're standing next. Yeah. Oh, that was fast. It's very quick
Yeah, I remember seeing Greg smashed up at that roulette table. Talk it to a fan. Yeah
I thought he was a stranger.
I thought he was a stranger and he played it off super cool because he was just playing,
oh hey, good to have you guys.
All of a sudden he starts mentioning show things.
And then Greg is there.
Greg's having the time of his life drinking.
Yeah, Greg was pounding the roulette table.
Pounding a lot of things.
Greg, Greg at the company mixer was downing, downing some brown.
I had to go into like parent mode
At one point I was wanted to go somewhere walk away. I'm just like Roy watch him
I like had to put someone in charge of is that the wrong guy to put in charge by the way
Is that the the time that you've had to do that? That's been the worst or no?
Top five maybe but well that was just because it's a setting
where like normally I won't worry about him if it's like around our like my
friends or like my family like we're in a work setting I'm just like oh like I
have to this is getting a little not embarrassed himself here like I think so
everybody has like that one moment with their parents were like they're not
caretakers anymore right now they're kind of like your friends.
So like, I'm sure you've had a bunch with your dad.
Like I remember one of the ones
when my dad was living in Colorado,
he moved there specifically for one thing.
And I went downstairs.
Hiking, the Rockies.
He's a big hike guy, big enthusiast.
All the sunshine.
Yeah, that too.
Ton of sunshine.
Fresh air, a lot of nature.
Definitely not the weed.
No, no, not at all.
What? Who said that?
Yeah, so.
Your dad moved to Colorado
Just to smoke weed no he had like a problem with his legs different time Billy
Yeah, but he but he wanted to be picked he picked Colorado for a reason. How are the legs now well?
he's
No longer with these no longer with oh yeah
Carry on so he moved so he moved to Colorado hiking in the sunshine
And my brother was there with us, and I think it was, I don't know, it was.
Your brother Chris.
My brother Christopher, yes.
And we're there.
And my dad's like, hey boys, come downstairs.
I'm like, all right, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'll see you in a minute.
How old are you?
Mid-20s, I want to say.
So all of a sudden, I go outside.
And I go downstairs.
And I don't see my brother.
I don't see my dad.
Familiar smell makes its way into the thing.
What age did you start picking up on that spell?
Oh, middle school.
Doing a little research.
Yeah, middle school.
Because when I was a kid.
You got a real inquisitive six-year-old.
Yeah.
Just like that.
I remember that smell when I was a little kid.
And I'm like, oh, that smells so funny.
Then that first middle school party I went to,
and all of a sudden, click.
That's definitely gonna happen.
Yeah, it all came together.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, so I remember going outside,
and there's my brother and my dad,
just hitting a joint together.
And I was like, this is the moment
where dad's a friend now.
Yeah, no longer a caretaker.
Wow.
And then you turn into the caretaker of your parents.
In a normal run, yes.
At some point, yeah.
I'm the undertaker. Circle of life. Are you done? Are you done? I think you've done enough
You absolutely have done
The key like you didn't know that or you were going for
There's no I didn't know I'm sorry, but how do you know we've talked about it Mike has talked about it a lot
That's why I don't listen
Finally the truth
We're still here so anyways famous people
No one's gonna beat Lucy story, so it's kind of like what's the point? What was the story again when I went to?
We're talking more random life like at the ESPYs. Oh, that's right. And it's actually front row. We're talking more random life. Like at the ESPYs, you're going to see celebrities.
No, yeah.
We've done nothing as cool as that,
but I don't know if that's what we're talking about here.
I still don't think you can be Adam Sandler
at a sushi restaurant.
I drove Adam Schefter to the Double Tree in Bristol.
I drove Bill Simmons from a hotel to our studio.
I peed next to Stephen A. Smith at the urinal.
Wow.
I ran into Mike Baby buying sneakers in Daylight at one
time. I peed next to Ray Lewis at Highlye. Oh, yeah. Because he owns a Highlye table. I wasn't right next to Stephen A Smith at the urinal. Wow. I ran into Mike baby buying sneakers at in daylight one time. I peed next to Ray Lewis at Highly. Oh yeah. He owns like a highlight
table. It wasn't right next to him. I didn't go to the stall right next to him. I went
like four down. There's a lot there by the way. There's like seven of them. Yeah. He
went all the way. Yeah. It's like a million stalls. He walked all the way. No one on any
stall. He went all the way to the corner, the far corner. I like doing that too though.
Why not the closer corner? There's like a wall blocking it. No, I like going out there
where I can just be by myself. Okay, a lot man in his thoughts
That's right taking a piss just in case I was like 10 feet away from Jeff Bezos at a super bowl
Oh, it was like a tunnel where like they like the celebrities were arriving and I just happened to be like cutting through and then there
He was and all his glory
Walks by quick
I was gonna try to stick a microphone in front of him and interview
him because I was actually recording Mystery Create of all things with a microphone.
So I got, I had this microphone and it's like one, I don't have any complaints about my
time at ESPN at all.
Like I think that I didn't end on bad terms.
I don't think that I pissed you know, pissed that many people out, whatever, right? But I will say this.
I had a microphone that was mine and I believe that they took from me when they were cleaning
up the studio when the switch happened.
And it was a karaoke microphone that some-
The blue one?
No, this was a white one that some Fox show sent as some promotional item for a karaoke
show that they had and it was
the most valuable piece of equipment that we had on the time for shooting
things outside of the studio and I would plug it into my phone and it worked out
great it was like the best quality microphone it was a karaoke mic is it
the one that would change voices too no I don't think so there was one that
would change voices well anyway so like I'm walking around and we're interviewing
people in the Super Bowl,
like at the actual game, like in the parking lot doing like a mystery creative, like us
just walking around before the game or whatever.
It was you and Allison, right?
It was me and Allison.
Yeah.
Walking around, talking to people and we're just like, what are we doing here?
Why did they send us here?
Like, what is this?
Like, how do we make content out of this?
Right?
Because like you've been to like these, you need credentials, like Lucy knows you need
to like, and what we were doing was probably not allowed in any form or fashion whatsoever
But I was very close to going up to Bezos and asking him like, huh
Who do you like in the game and sticking this little karaoke microphone in his face?
And I'm glad I didn't cuz I probably would have been shot. That was the co vid
Oh, yeah, like that was that was a major super spreader event. That was Kansas City, San Francisco
Yeah, it was like three weeks before the world shut down
Yeah No I remember cuz you had to do something with like Old Spice and got like bussed to like one place or another Super spreader event. That was Kansas City, San Francisco. Yeah, it was like three weeks before the world shut down.
Yeah.
No, I remember, cause you had to do something
with like old spice and got like bus
to like one place or another.
No, I got, I, okay.
I forgot to put on deodorant that day.
I was very nervous.
I've never covered the Superbowl.
I forgot to put on deodorant that day.
And I realized early on that I forgot to put on deodorant,
but I wasn't going gonna pay for parking.
So the hack that we had was you drive to the media,
one of the media hotels,
and they have shuttles that take you to the game.
And I thought, well, while I'm at the hotel,
I'll just look for like a little shop
and I'll buy deodorant there.
Cause I learned early on that I didn't have it.
So I went and I bought it,
and it was Old Spice Swagger that they had so I was wearing Old Spice
Swagger deodorant and then I tweeted about it and then it got to Old Spice
somehow and they sent a bunch of stuff after the fact so I got a bunch of Old
Spice like body wash and I got Old Spice I have an Old Spice like track suit
that's like the like windbreaker material like a jacket and pants I have slides of Old Spice little Old Spice like a tree bag
Yeah, all the old spice stuff that they said it was the best. Where do we rank?
That's one of the worst feelings for me. Like I'll be out somewhere too far to turn and shit. How do you do?
What do you do? Deal?
Well, I
Avoid people and just kind of smell me. Well, apparently here's a hack that I've learned. You can use the arms real tight.
From the fashion world, basically,
if you can put a hand sanitizer under your underarms,
it will help.
What?
I've done that.
Yeah, because it like, it's just killing bacteria.
Yeah, and that helps with the smell.
You know what I've done is like,
if I have a jacket or a hoodie, I'll wear that,
and I will be sweating.
But then, isn't that like counterintuitive?
No, because the smell's trapped inside.
Yeah, the smell doesn'tuitive no because the smells trapped inside
Trapped inside it's gonna be terrible when you take it off. It's gonna. Yeah, you have to commit to it Yeah, but that's it I moved from stick deodorant to spray to spray
Yeah, because I've been getting away from what about your balls, huh?
What about your balls? What about them because there's plastic in them and now there's gonna be well the plastic in my balls
We're still trying to figure that out. No, but you know, it starts on your arms, it goes down your balls.
Yeah, well, the aluminum...
Yeah.
You know, nobody... we should be having that stuff, so I've...
Yes, I don't know.
I've transitioned to a deodorant that is healthy, doesn't have the parabens and the fragrances and all the bad stuff.
Which one?
Uh, I use Native.
Native is a scam!
Oh!
Well, be very careful, everyone.
I love Native, so.
Respectfully.
How harmful can my deodorant really be?
Native is very like, it is like the more chemical-free
options out of any of them.
And I'm sorry for calling you a scam Native,
I don't really mean it.
Yeah.
I'm happy with that.
I've felt a lot.
I use Native shampoo and conditioner.
No, yeah, I'm fine with like their body wash,
but like their deodorant, it was like the big thing.
But maybe like ladies and men's deodorants are a big thing. But maybe like ladies and men's deodorant
are a little bit different.
Oh yeah, I use men's deodorant
because I don't think that women's deodorant does.
Stronger, right?
Yeah, I use men's razors.
What do you use?
I pretty much use men's every single thing.
I use Old Spice, they have like a lavender.
Swagger?
No, not Swagger, of course not.
A lavender one.
It's like on a white.
I've heard about men using women's deodorant.
I've used women's deodorant before.
It's never strong enough for me.
Yeah, it's not like strong enough for me.
Strong enough for a man made for a woman.
But I use native and it was within like three seconds
that I was like, the way I smell is abhorrent.
Gillette has this like, it was so bad.
It was just too natural that I was like,
yeah, there's chemicals coming out of here.
Like we need to combat that with more chemicals.
Gillette has like a clinically prescription one that's supposedly really good.
Yeah, you can get like a prescription, like women's secret deodorant. Because my mom was always like,
that's what you should do. But I just found that it was the same as me using Old Spice for men.
And everything, like all men's products are cheaper than women's products too. They're better and
they're cheaper. So like any like razors, deodorant, like any of that stuff I just
go by men and they make like not like feminine smelling fragrances but they
just like kind of neutral. Mine's sea and sea spice and
cedar or something or like sea salt and cedar. I use the like lavender. It's like
manly lavender. How do we feel about sharing deodorants?
Not at all.
Well you can share my spray one.
The spray's different.
You can share my spray one.
In an emergency like Fuentes, if you forgot it
and I happen to have a work one here, would you use it?
I'd rather we share a stick of deodorant for a day
than me smell like ass.
Oh no.
Dude, you never know who you're gonna meet.
Yeah.
As I'm asking the question, I think I'm with Billy on this.
I don't think I would wanna use. I would just go with one smelly day rather
than putting someone else you know there is a time well the bacteria from that
person's gonna be under your arm yeah you get their funky and with your funk
different guys have hair like is that that changes well we also have hair I
know you shave yeah but we don't have to. Right. I went to visit my friend in Berkeley
and she was like, it's actually kind of awesome.
No one shaves their armpits here.
So there was like no precedent.
So everyone had to really hairy armpits.
And I borrowed her deodorant and everything seemed fine.
And there was a lot of hair on it?
And I think we grew closer.
There was a lot of hair on the deodorant?
Cause like when I have hairy armpits, obviously.
So like when I use deodorant, that was a stick.
You get a couple hairs in there.
Yeah, hers wasn't that hairy.
That hairy, okay.
So it was fuzzy. it was something I noticed
Nice
Huh?
You have to be careful with aluminum
I I had a very traumatic like month and a half of my life where I switched deodorant
it was like one of those like roller balls with like the
scent or whatever on it and someone gave it to me for like Christmas
as part of like a pack.
So I was like using that cause I ran out of deodorant.
And then my lymph nodes under my armpit were all swollen.
And my grandfather died of lymphoma.
So like I was very concerned about this.
I went to the doctor, they're like feeling it.
And like, yeah, these are like swollen.
Like you need to go.
And then like I went, I had to do like MRIs. I had to do all these scans where I'm exactly right.
I'm strapped down like on like, like a,
almost like a tube.
Yeah. Inside the tube, strapped down for 45 minutes.
They're doing all these tests.
I was convinced that I had cancer.
Yeah.
Like under my armpits.
Like it was really, it was really, really scary.
I was convinced that that's what it was.
And they're like, no, you're fine.
Things just swollen from your deodorant.
And I'm like, yeah, here's a bill for $7,000.
Exactly right.
Thousands of dollars later.
But would you have rather?
No, obviously not.
You got to stay away from the antiperspirant.
Humans are meant to sweat.
Oh, yeah.
I need deodorant.
You can't stop sweating.
I don't need antiperspirant.
No antiperspirant.
No metals.
Let's stay away from metals as a human race.