The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The HawgBeat FOIA Request
Episode Date: October 11, 2023What would it look like if The Devil bought shots for you and your friends? Probably something like what Lucy went through at the Red River Rivalry this weekend. Then, James Franklin is shaken to his ...core, Stugotz is addicted to the Lotto, and Billy reminds us that he rules the Bucket of Death with an iron fist. Plus, Dan Enos might be a reply guy, a discussion on exclamation points, and the ever-valuable rocking chairs at Cracker Barrel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dunluba Tarshou with the Stugat Spatcast.
Jeremy, the reason that you're not dressed like a bear today is you forgot
because you lost at the grid of death
and today you were supposed to be dressed like a bear?
Gross negligence, Dan.
Okay, so you simply forgot.
You forgot to do your job.
You were supposed to come in here today.
What are you shaking your head about, Billy?
I gave him a pass on it as the one that rules over
the grid of death and bucket of thinking.
He didn't forget to do the sideline game
for the heat last night, that's interesting. For his other job. What are we doing? I'm just
saying, if they had asked you to dress like a bear, my guess is that you would not have
forgotten to do it. I think the iron fist of Billy, who is giving passes, has been giving
passes since last year, Billy has no control over this,
and nobody does their job the way
they're supposed to around here.
No, no, no, Dan, I will say this.
I was supposed to dress as mankind this week as a punishment,
but that was a simple situation
where it hasn't arrived yet.
So things are getting paid off.
It's just if the causes aren't getting here,
the whole thing, there's a helmet over there
for you to wear.
I am of the opinion, I've been told
that Lucy served a grid of death punishment this weekend.
What is the helmet that's out there for me?
Is it an F1 helmet?
I've got a dress like an F1 driver.
Yeah, you have to dress as an F1 driver.
So the order is you're an F1 helmet,
which is very tight.
Excellent.
It looks like it's gonna be very uncomfortable.
I don't know how you're gonna get headphones in there.
Yeah, I'm not good.
Not well.
You chose it, Emma.
These are all harder, these are always harder than you think they are.
How, before we get to this video of Lucy eating fried food in Texas, what was the worst
of it, Lucy, of all the food that you ate this weekend that was evidently also a grid
of death punishment?
The fried fireball shot.
Everyone, I did it, everyone tweeted to me, said, Lucy, please do it.
I said, for you guys, anything.
Well, let me tell you, I don't want to spoil it.
Very misleading.
Made my stomach hurt a lot.
Did not enjoy that.
And you'll get a fun little story, too.
That's a teaser, then.
We will get to that video in a second.
But fireball is the liquor they serve in hell, right?
That's the shots they give when,
when orp riles are drinking.
When the Alzebub wants to buy a shot for our briles.
Handcaller, trust me.
That's the Yeager.
Is it Yeager?
Is it peppermint schnapps?
Put it on the pole, Judeo, at Levitard show.
When the devil is buying a round of shots for your friends.
Is it Yeager?
Is it Fireball or is it Peppermint Schnapps?
Schnapps is bad man. At Lebedard show. But before we get to that video, I want to
play some other video from college football. James Franklin, the Penn State
coach who largely stays away from most controversies and has fixed their program coming off of what
can be described as the worst scandal in the history of sports. It's in the conversation.
What Penn State did and what toppled and then killed Joe Paturno, not the easiest thing to recover
from. Jameslin has made pen
state matter like that they're often undefeated at this time of the year and
people thought he stepped in it after his most recent press conference when he
said this
and after the james
a follow up to what uh... you were just asked there about drew
is there a balance though between hey we need you
to throw the ball deep no matter just take a shot don't don't overthink it take a shot
we need to see it we're going to call it and we need you to get some confidence in doing
this as opposed to even giving a young quarterback a chance to say hey just check it down
if it's out there.
I don't really understand what you're saying because we would never like I'm like my skin
is curling when you say just drop back and chuck it deep no matter what like like that
is like I don't even know what you're saying it's like you're speaking like from all
the shot
throw it no matter what
give your receiver a chance to make a play on a ball
uh... even if he might be covered
thirty yards down the field
maybe you think he'll be open forty five yards down the field and and
like godwin did or with johan or k j
we need to be like like I still don't like,
you're speaking Japanese, like,
like we have never done that.
Just throw the ball up and maybe he'll be open
and maybe he'll catch, like my skin is like,
like you're making me uncomfortable,
like I don't know what you're talking about.
So yeah, we would not do that.
We would never do that.
We've never thought about doing that.
As a head coach, as an offensive coordinator,
as a receivers coach, I coached the receivers.
I didn't want them to do that.
So no, no.
Strong no.
Like, yeah. He has discussed it. It was another no. No strong no like yeah
He has discussed it was another no
Walked into the wrong press conference. That's how Washington plays. That's not how Penn State plays That's not how James Franklin will ever play I
Coach wide receivers and I wouldn't want to do that. We're gonna grind it out
I mean it is the kind of interview that Chris Cody would do where he's pressing on just one time
Just chuck it up there, coach. Come on.
Every once in a while.
They're post there.
There is a big disagreement, though, between the way that James Franklin reacted
with a certain allergy to what was being asked and an accusation that you're
speaking a language I don't understand.
I am not fluent in the language that you speak and all of us being
lashing. Hey, coach. Hey Hey coach, that seems pretty valuable. The 15 yard
pass interference penalty that you can get by just chucking it up there and
asking your receiver to make a play. Hey coach, if you ever played Madden, you know
sometimes when it's like third and third, you all just put a guy on a hot route
send him deep, you chuck it up, see happens huh coach my skin is crawling at
just the voice that you're making he said I'm uncomfortable uncomfortable
he clearly was though that what yours again when you talk about these control
freaks and how much preparation and strategy they put into the 9% that they
actually control because once once once the ball is snapped it's a bunch of college kids not doing what you taught them to do. The thought of a kid
throwing it 40 yards. Yes that's so reckless. Do you know how much easier it is?
Just to power sweep it and try to be out tuffing Indiana. It's I'm gonna win
eight games a year. If I don't do that I'm just gonna beat Northwestern. Little
full-back die. I'm gonna be Northwestern by just being better
than Northwestern in football. Stop with your hijinks. Stop.
Stop what does that? You don't understand what you are the
loosey gooseiness of what you're suggesting to me, a college
football repressed person who wants to outtuff you six yards at
a time. I just want to get
into second and third. You understand? I'm good throwing it for you. The thing's happening
40 yards down field. Don't interest me. It's scary over there. I like it where the big people are
where everyone is blocking and I'm just gonna big 10 my way to the championship.
They play Ohio State in two weeks.
I'm excited to see how that goes.
You know how it's gonna go.
It's not gonna happen 40 yards downfield.
Not if James Franklin has anything to say.
His players aren't allowed to go 40 yards downfield.
He cuts them.
They are not allowed.
They start COVID testing for them.
They're all sorts of protocols involved.
If you're more than 35 yards down the field,
the paperwork.
Even with the wide receivers,
when he was a wide receivers coach,
you didn't want him doing that.
No bureaucracy.
No.
Ton of red tape.
You have a table, the 35 yard work.
I have a COVID tent.
Like a clinic, a bunch of physicians, everybody is filling
out forms, they're lines, nobody wants to go down there. Plenty of room over here in
the backfield if you want to just check down. And it's why no one will want to see them in
any of the final four games. They're not Wisconsin. No, it's probably not fair to do that
to them. But there was a real allergy that James Franklin just expressed. You can only ask that
question on Zoom. That guy was not in the room. You could tell by that audio. He was like over or
someone, I don't know how they're doing questions. That guy was not in the room. James Franklin was
disgusted as if he were right. He was bothered by his present. i didn't even think that that was the james franklin sound we were throwing it
too because he stepped in it with michigan fans when he was trying to talk
about indiana yesterday
and scheduling stuff that people took as a shot to michigan that he did not
intend
as a shot at michigan but people want the pen state michigan thing to matter
so much that they want james franklin to say he's allergic to that too by the way. He's not going to say anything about Michigan.
He'll say it might say it about Indiana. He's not going to say it about Michigan.
Well, I think we know why he said it. He was cranky. That question put him in a real bad
mood. So basically he called out Indiana for trying to get out of their series with Louisville
because they want you to, you know, get as many wins as you can. It's not about playing
the good competition. Michigan fans saw that and was like, you know, get as many wins as you can. It's not about playing the good competition.
Michigan fans saw that and was like,
you are talking about us.
The shoe fit and that is really rude, James,
and you can never beat us.
And then everyone was like,
hey, man, that wasn't about you at all.
That had literally nothing to do with it.
And then everyone was okay with it.
Indiana was no problem.
And then you know, it was like,
you have a great point.
We do not want to play that one.
Say whatever you want about Indiana, nobody cares.
It's okay. Let her want about Indiana. Nobody cares.
It's okay. Let her rip, Franklin. No consequences. You say it about Harbaugh though. I'm going to devour your face like piranha.
Oh, you're talking about us? Indiana? You're talking about us? Oh, thanks, James.
Yeah, thanks. We can take anything that we can get.
I am a little concerned, Billy, and I don't know if you are concerned because I believe of all
of Stugots is many full blown addictions he is now developed one to Lato. Oh, he is
every every week. Specifically power ball. Every week he comes in here. I don't know what
he's going to do. What's that like it was a coffee drink? Lato. Lato. Like masterpiece theater. Can I get a large Lato, please?
Too sweet in those. Are you addicted to it? Yes. What is happening here? What are you gonna? Well, listen, the prize is $1.8 billion.
And so I keep going to the public's right by my house, and I'm starting to learn how the game is played.
Before I was just buying like random pegs.
Wait, there's a strategy to this, you think.
Well, there's multipliers, there's ways,
you could do four times the amount if you win.
Not if it's 1.8 billion.
You're not walking out of there with $8 billion.
The multiplier is not gonna get you $8 billion.
No, but what it does, Bill, is it takes a $4 wedding ticket
and it turns it into like a $16 wedding ticket.
That's what I've learned.
I've learned how to play the multipliers.
You've learned how to lose your money more of it faster.
Well, I don't know.
Multiply the losses.
I'm not losing.
I'm winning some money.
I mean, I make an investment of $200.
I go back, I get, you know, $122 back.
Then you lost $80.
You did $1,120.
Yeah.
But I won the thrill of thinking this might be the Knights.
You know?
There's nothing better than walking out
from that gas station.
Yeah, and for me that is worth $80 every single time.
I love it, but here's a funny thing that happened.
Game over.
I'm going there so much that I started
buying $50 scratch offs and $25 scratch offs.
They're great.
Now I told my wife, here's what happened.
She asked me why he's spending so much money on this.
And I said, when you buy $100 a power ball ticket, you get a free scratch off. That's what I told her, here's what happened. She asked me why he's spending so much money on this. And I said, when you buy a hundred dollars of power ball ticket, you get a free scratch off.
That's all that's all there.
How do you play?
So I'm coming up.
Is that a lie?
No.
Oh, okay.
It's $15.
The way he said it, I told her that.
Yeah.
Scratch offs are a tricky game.
They're a dirty game.
You know that?
You get that stuff all over the table.
You got to wipe it off.
What do you use like a penny or something?
I use a quarter, Santa quarter.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's great.
Monopoly.
I don't have Dan playing Powerball.
I can, I have played, but I can express to you
the sadness that came over me when you actually
uttered the phrase, there's nothing better
than walking out of that gas station. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha At public mobile, we do things differently.
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Different is calling. same thing one of two ways you could get it honestly or you could steal it he'll always
choose stealing it.
Stugots.
Well it's the quicker path.
I mean it's just the...
This is the Dalébatá show with this Stugots.
There really is Dan nothing better than that feeling.
You have the ticket for your name.
That can't be true.
Dan.
The endless possibilities.
You don't like playing him a what if?
Chris I am not
Here to entertain the possible hope of Stugat's bad math. I'm winning. I spent $200. I get back
122 right. I mean, but $80 for that feeling This is a slippery slope those two gots
I heard you in the other room talking about like are you partnering with people on this because I wouldn't trust you with this
Well, I have promised Frankie 50% of my wife.
Oh geez.
And that is Frankie ensuring that he's only responsible
for 50% of the losses.
There is no way.
Do you realize the disaster?
We will never cease to gots again.
What do you mean?
Well, I asked him in the break I go,
so are you still splitting with Frankie?
He goes, I am and then privately said to me, he thinks. So I don't know, are you still splitting with Frankie? He goes, I am. And then privately said to me, he thinks.
So I don't know, are you collecting money from Frankie?
No, I am not collecting money from Frankie.
When Frankie goes and gets the power ball tickets for me
and he does that occasionally, then I cut him in, you know, 50, 50.
But I'm going to get these today because it's 1.8 billion.
And I have some numbers.
I don't want to just do quake pick.
I have some numbers.
I want to jot down like 23.
Would you guys be like a Jordan? Would you be kind enough to just look up for me
in order to win this amount of money? You have to have the one ticket that would be in one seat
in how many football stadiums. If I gave you 100 football stadiums,
how many football stadiums?
What are the odds against you having the one ticket?
So the people in the game...
They're all typing into our computer right now,
but I don't know what we're all talking about.
No, I'm guessing, I'm guessing they're on...
It's one in 292.2 million,
so that is many football stadiums, Dan.
Imagine how bad your odds are when you have to have the one seat in the one stadium of
however many stadiums it would take.
A lot of stadiums.
Those odds are insane and I think everyone listening to this knows it doesn't mean people
aren't fascinated by get rich quick and it doesn't mean people aren't fascinated by get rich quick
And it doesn't mean that education doesn't benefit from the fact that many people betting this don't have the proper
Matt's to know what a bad bet it is. I have a bone to pick with the fact that the lottery always tells you that they're raising money for
Education and make it seem like it's this charitable thing because I feel like then it should be a tax write off.
You know what I mean?
Like my lottery ticket should all be taxed the donation if I'm donating to charity.
Dan, do you think I'm walking out of that public thinking I have a 25% chance at winning?
All right.
I got you're right.
I got 292.2 million in my calculator right now.
What are we saying is the average football stadium?
Let's make it $80,000, $70,000.
Okay. right now what are we saying is the average football stadium let's make it 80 thousand seventy thousand okay divided by my new 80 divided by 80 thousand
three oh shit
3652 no stadiums I doubt you're reading those numbers right that's one
I'm telling you do the math it checks out three thousand six hundred fifty ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a chance of flushing it down the toilet and having a $1.8 billion somehow come up from
your septic system and be a winner there.
This keeps carrying over at least in part because nobody's winning it.
He also had the only reason it's carrying over.
He would have lost it if he bet on the Orioles too though.
So one way or another, just throwing it away.
Chris is right by the way, 3600 stadiums.
Check out. Yep. Way to throwing it away. Chris is right by the way, 3600 stadiums. Check out.
Yep.
Way to go Chris.
I didn't think that there would be anything
that I would trust you less than reading,
but calculating better odds than I thought.
I mean, let's get to the video, please, of Lucy.
And if you want to set this up, what are the highlights
of what it is that we're about to see and hear here, Lucy,
from your trip. You wept in Texas. You were so moved by the energy of what it is that we're about to see and hear here, Lucy, from your trip. You wept in Texas.
You were so moved by the energy of everything happening there that you admitted on God bless
football that you were a not necessarily a proud weeper, but you were willing to share
that vulnerability with us.
What was happening?
College football felt so good that it moved you at your soul.
It was just, it was before the game started and the stadium was full.
Both marching bands were playing. Everyone was cheering and so happy at the same time
And yeah, it was okay, but it worked
Every bivo was there Oklahoma was shooting guns off everybody just felt so happy and you could just tell it was like such a
Community aspect that I started to cry kind of like a lot
grateful crying Kind of like a lot. Great full crying. Oh my god, it was so grateful. I was like, I can't believe I'm here.
This is a special moment.
Thank you, Dan.
Thank you for taking me to this.
This was so amazing.
And then it kept shooting the guns off.
And I was like, OK, all the good feelings are gone.
We will find out in a moment I assume some details
on what the fried fireball tasted like.
But what can you tell us that doesn't spoil this audio?
I have felt bad for several days since.
All right, let's see.
Wait, why is there a group of death punishment in here?
Explain that.
Because I have felt bad.
But like, what's the punishment that you had that you say?
She selected it.
Yeah, it's called a carnival barker.
Oh, yeah.
She just had to go eat carnival food.
OK, and I ate a lot of it, and I didn't enjoy it.
Let's hear it.
All right, so you guys kept asking me to eat fried food.
I have no desire to do that.
My bag is full of pepto bismoles so much.
But since I'm doing it, I brought a friend.
I'm not going to do it alone.
Okay, Billy Gale, if you're watching this, all this food is bad actually and it's terrible
and it should count as a grid of death punishment for me.
The annoying thing about this place is I keep eating food like, oh this is the most ridiculous
thing, it's going to be terrible, it's going to be great content, and that's all good
and that's annoying.
Am I supposed to capture the food eating noises?
What do you like to do?
I mean, let's see if there are some good chewing sounds.
Oh, gross.
It's good, right?
It's a pizza.
It's a pizza.
Aaron is letting me have a bite of her turkey leg.
I guess I'm just gonna...
You guys don't want it.
There you go.
You got some bone in there, I think.
I think. I think.
I think.
Pretty good, thanks Aaron.
They said fried fireball shop, but this is not,
they didn't fry the fireball itself.
They fried this thing and then they put...
Everybody's looking around.
All right, how do you guys think we should take this?
Do we eat this first or do we take the shot and then eat it?
That's what it is.
Yeah. So I thought it. That's what it is. What if we have to do like a bright pop?
So I thought it was going to be something different.
We're all disappointed, okay?
We know.
All right, look at Garza, if you're seeing this fine,
you can finally tell people about what happened.
And college, he came up and he bought me a shot.
And I thought it was so cool because look,
the big basketball star buying me a shot.
So I said, okay, I have got to look super cool taking
this fireball shot and I took it really fast. And it came out of my nose and you saw the whole thing.
Oh, there was a kick.
Oh, I like fireball.
I'm happy. She ate something disgusting.
I was hungry.
It was super gross.
Well, the fireball was just fireball with funnel cake in it, that's it.
They didn't fry the fireball, oh.
I thought I would assume the fireball was frying.
They haven't invented it.
That would have been cool.
It was literally just funnel cake and a fireball shot.
So they could have something and put it in fireball?
That's exactly what it was.
They could have called it fireball too.
Oh, that would have been good.
I know Dr. Eon the job is sprouting upon,
but you just made me take a fireball shot.
That was not fried and it was gross.
And my favorite team, Oklahoma one today, and I actually just got a notification that I
was up 10 points and somehow our quarterback stat line is one for nine with an interception.
So I need it.
You know, two gods is.
Two gods.
Two.
Two?
Two gods.
Two.
With a T.
No.
Damn, oh my God.
That's big time right here.
Yeah.
This guy, before you win, this show is big time.
How big time is the show?
I'd say it's on a scale of 110, probably like an 1.5.
Wow.
Yeah.
Do you not pay attention or no?
I mean, no.
So like, how's it an end and a half?
Because I feel like if you're a sportsperson,
you know this show.
That fried fireball shot, feel it in my stomach.
Nassie, shouldn't have got this.
Should have gotten a water.
Now, fried Oreos.
BEEP!
BEEP!
You guys happy? All this fried food.
I feel like I couldn't feel worse.
So we're about to leave.
But I have one last thing for you.
I can't even think.
I can't even give my words out.
It's fried butter.
Oh my God. I don't, I really don't want to eat this.
Honestly, that might have been the best thing I've had on deaf.
But real, I wouldn't eat more of it,
but I dropped this on the ground, so.
Perfect.
What was the last thing that you had there?
Fried butter.
Oh!
That's why I was gagging.
I really didn't know I need the fried butter.
You sound hammered at the end there.
I was not feeling great.
I was not feeling my best.
Which one was worse?
You did the Dan Campbell challenge of the equivalent of 10 red bulls,
which is his routine coffee order in the morning.
It's a couple of venties with espresso shots at it
as a bonus, which was worse in terms of
how you felt the following day.
The following day, this one was worse
than how I felt the day of definitely Dan Campbell.
That was really painful.
This is his sat with me.
I think I felt bad for like three days after this.
Not good.
The flight is difficult under these circumstances.
You're in a fried coma of some sort
that I imagine is very often just Chris Cody's Sunday.
We had to walk like an hour to the Uber
and I was like, I don't think I could, or like it was like the Uber and I was like, I don't think I could,
or like it was like a mile.
I was like, I don't think I can do this.
I can't keep going.
It was not a pleasant experience.
I learned, I would say many years after the fact
that Billy was hospitalized for a grid of death punishment
to a picture from the young.
Many years after.
I did not remember.
I did not remember.
I did not remember you at all being in the hospital
for eating what was it?
Like a quarter of a raw onion?
Was it, you know, I was like halfway through it
and it all came back up.
But yeah, I had to eat an onion
and then I just kept vomiting and vomiting
and vomiting and vomiting to the point of dehydration
and then I had to go to the ER
and then because I was dehydrated,
I had dried up kidney stones,
I guess we're floating around in there,
and then they had no place to go,
so thank you.
So those came out,
and then I was in the hospital for, I think, two, three days.
Quite an expensive bill, too,
that's a company didn't pick up.
So you wonder why I don't like the grid of debt.
Whoa!
There you go, like two brands.
Don't like that on me, we have to be here
to be here, it's the time.
Yeah, no, I know, Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse didn't cover that one
What do you mean you didn't get out of pocket?
I mean yeah, you did not get health insurance because we had health insurance
But there's a deductible that had to be met and there was
What yeah
But you understand why sometimes I don't want to dress like Waldo.
I don't think you're gonna be hot, but I'll lost my enthusiasm there.
This is why you run this all so poorly.
I rule with an iron fist, I'll have you know.
That was a paid off punishment that we made up this weekend.
2000 bucks.
that we made up this weekend. 2000 bucks.
The number of times that you have had us know that you rule with an iron fist while us
never getting to actually know that you rule with an iron fist.
Don Lebertard.
At the end of our conversation with Alex Smith, And we talked for about 30 minutes, but I feel like nobody is gonna remember anything
about that conversation other than how you fell flat
at the end with your very last word.
Listen to how Stugats here at the end of this interview
says goodbye, it just exhausted to Alex Smith.
That's still got what happened, Alex?
I'm dead, I'm exhausted.
I haven't stopped talking in a month, I mean,
I don't know to tell you.
VCC done, let me start show with this to got.
I did not think that we could do much better
than Chris Cody saying that there is no better feeling
than walking out of a gas station.
And he didn't even complete the thought.
It didn't even have to do with Powerball or Lotto.
It just had that sentence sitting there by itself
that made me feel sad because I don't love the sentence.
There is no better feeling than walking out of a gas station.
But I think I have a sentence here that might be better,
or at least the way this one starts.
This one starts with the word hogbeat, H-A-W-G-B-E-A-T, hogbeat.
This is a internet site I'm assuming, a media outlet that covers Arkansas sports, maybe
just game.
Maybe it can be anything, right?
Be careful, be careful with any Google searches on the hogbeat.
There might be some stuff there.
H-A-W-G. Ah, that's a lot of stuff. Bobbi, Patrino. It's all hog. H-A-W-G.
Ah, that's a big deal.
Bobby Vitrino pops up, I feel like.
Don't put H-O-G.
Be careful with that, but that's the first word.
About beat.
The words that come after that, that I was not expecting.
Hog beat has confirmed through a freedom of information
to act request. Jeremy just did a spit
take. He just spitting. He has, he has a liquid in his mouth that it's still in his mouth
but he's holding it in with his hand because the phrase hog beat is a confirmed
through a freedom of information act request. F-O-I-A. That Arkansas Offensive Coordinator, Dan Enoes,
his university email address responded to multiple students
who were criticizing him after the Texas A&M loss.
So he goes to his computer, his work computer,
and students are ripping him, as is the case often,
for anything related to a Danino's offense.
And what is the back and forth?
What did the HogBeap Freedom of Information Act request
reveal that the-
What a great set of things.
It is, thank you.
I appreciate you getting to it late, but yes,
I thought it was a great sentence as well.
I also am enjoying the journalism of how horrified Dan Inos has to be when he hears
with Hogby requested what?
Hogby did what they used what a Freedom of Information Act to go through my work email address and see because
to go through my work email address and see because I'm guessing he is a state-paid employee in some way as college football programs are funded very often by the state so you can
do this. What were the back and forths that he was having with students?
So a student found his email and emailed him, quote, I just wanted you to know that I'm
available to call fourth
downs for y'all if y'all need it.
And y'all don't have to pay me millions.
What a disgrace.
Dan Enoch's response.
What would you call?
And he spelled you just the letter you three question marks.
I feel like that's important.
But a harmless question.
He is asking what would you call that?
He's basically saying, let me hear the play that you.
He's open to it
He's crowdsourced. Yes, so the student responds a cubie sneak this isn't hard Dan and then Dan responds with gaps defense for
Laughing emojis. What a joke for laughing emojis
Then he double emails him. You're so innovative laughing emoji
Then the student said I don't know if you know this Dan but a but a QB sneak with a 250-pound quarterback is hard to stop,
even if you know it's coming.
Also, but what you've been doing isn't working
if you didn't notice.
And then, Dan responded,
thanks, Robinson.
You should have been a coach
in about 17 exclamation points.
Also, every time he says, you,
just the letter, I think that's very important.
What? What? Go ahead.
Oh, it's still going. They had a full back and forth. So then the
student said, maybe you should stop trying to be innovative and get a first down. If I was a
coach, I would have just been I would have been just as effective as you are. And then Dan said,
you still have time. Apply for some jobs. I'm sure you'll be great. And that is where our
conversation ended. The double email is the part that's really standing out to me
because it's one thing to reply to a student
who's criticizing you and the first couple of exchanges
were pretty funny, but to double email
shows a level of desperation.
Like some high school dude double texting a girl
that he's into, like, please, please, please, please, please,
just respond to me.
Like, what is Dan Eno's feeling right now
that he feels the need to double email a student
that's criticizing not having a QB sneak?
What is the perfect amount of exclamation points
for when you're really trying to hammer it?
Four.
Three.
Yeah, I think three, clearly.
I think it really depends on the situation.
Me, I'm an exclamation point, girly.
I'm always using them.
So if I don't use them, it sends a message.
Wow. But if you're really angry them, it sends a message. Wow.
But if you're really angry, how many are you using? None. Okay.
And they'll be like, oh my god, she just used a period. She is so mad.
But what do you use generally? What's the go-to? Exclamation point for every single thing. Usually when I
Just want to if I'm feeling special. Usually I have to go back and look at my emails and say, okay, Lucy
You're an adult. You're a 25 year old woman. Get rid of some of these acclimation points and I have to go back.
Do you ever write a text
where you exclamation point too many sentences
and you're like, let me figure out which sentence here.
Pull one back.
Pull one back.
Yeah, all the time.
You can't go all your sentences with exclamation points.
So it's like, you know what,
I'm gonna come out the gates a little softer,
period at the first sentence.
Why can't you?
Because you seem overly excited.
It just seems like too eager to work.
Yeah, you gotta play cool.
The biggest issue is in professional emails
because I'm someone that likes to exude like,
hey, I'm into what it is that I'm doing here.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
I'm excited to intro to a working email.
Hey, y'all.
Right, hey, y'all.
Hey, y'all.
Y'all.
Y'all.
That's all in compessant.
That's not a working email.
Y'all is all in compessant.
Yeah, y'all.
No, y'all.
Y'all. Y'all, y'all.
You guys have to understand in this modern day and age
where we are trying to de-gender greetings,
y'all is a purposeful, all-encompassing greeting.
Can't say all.
Can't say all, but who says all?
Me.
What are you doing walking into a cracker barrel?
Yes, here's the.
I love a cracker barrel.
Who doesn't love a cracker barrel?
The y'all with an apostrophe. I'm from the South Dan. He didn't say howdy. Yeah, he didn't say howdy.
You know, I mean, come on. I know. The y'all and the exclamation points. I don't,
neither one of them give off a whole lot of professionalism. I respond to every single one of your
messages with the word y'all or an exclamation point. The cracker bail rocking chairs, by the way.
Thank you for your service.
Overest.
What?
You shut the hell up.
Overrated.
They're not comfortable.
I want to throw something in.
They're not a good rocking chair.
There's a reason they have 42 of them.
You think they got top of the line rocking chairs?
You think they're like, yeah, we're going to pay top dollar
for all 47 of these out here.
It's so you have a comfortable seat to sit in while you're
waiting.
They want you to think that, but it's not actually
that comfortable.
It is though, I've sat in it.
Full of it.
Wow.
Dan agrees with me.
They serve a purpose there.
You can rock.
I mean, no, it's going to buy them.
If you buy a rocking chair from a cracker,
what are you doing?
A thousand butts have been in that chair.
I'd rather play that triangle game with the tease.
The golf tease.
You guys ever play that?
We have to jump.
How are you with that game? I'm terrible.
Once I think I got down to like three T's left.
That's really bad.
That's good.
No.
Two's good.
Three's.
Come on.
Go get one of those things.
I'll do it right now.
David Samson put those rocking chairs
in the umpire rooms at Marlon's Park.
Billy, you are saying what of the person's life?
You are comfortable.
You are comfortable judging someone's life,
whether based on whether or not they have bought
a rocking chair outside of Cracker Barrel
that I think you said has had a thousand butts in it.
At least a thousand butts per chair, right?
That's an easy, no one actually buys.
Imagine going to a Cracker Barrel
and then thinking, you know what, I need to take home
the rocking chair from outside
that the general public sits on.
And how I'm gonna take this, I don't know,
I'll have to figure it out, take it apart,
put it on the top of my van,
how would you even get one of those home?
I don't think anyone's ever gone there for breakfast
and left with a rocking chair.
Now you go in there and you get all kinds of trinkets.
I'm not gonna disparage against the trinkets
inside of CrackerBerald.
Those are the best.
I had no idea you could buy those rocking chairs.
Oh yeah.
You had no idea.
So I'm gonna have a price tag on them, yeah.
Wait Billy, I'm confused though.
Do you find the chairs to be comfortable or not?
I find them to serve a great purpose for the country.
Mm-hmm.
I did not know this was called the Triangle Peg Jump game.
It's what I would have guessed. It is very accurately described. It's how I would. I don't know.
Yes. Yes, I'm a big pegger. What kind of pegger would I be if not a big pegger?
Where do you start the whole? I go right in the middle. Sometimes I go middle right.
When pegging? Yeah. Which hole do I start with? I think you can go. That was a question.
It depends on where you're going to jump first and how long you're going to last.
You came out here and you immediately said that the rocking chair was overrated.
Great take by me.
Lewis said in my ear, great take.
Again with Lewis.
Again with Lewis.
He's just building our confidence in.
No, I need to get control of what is happening here.
I am so like, he's going, this is good, good, good.
Go with an iron fist like me, Dan.
The pollutants that have saturated this show
and contaminants that are led by Lewis speaking
in everyone's ears and you guys being a bunch of parents.
Better than Danny if we're gonna be honest.
I don't wanna take shots at Danny.
Not a compliment to say better than Danny.
I'm not being a parrot.
Lewis has put like 3000 things in my ear
and I haven't used one of them.
Earlier today, Lewis tried to, when we were talking about where the big people are with James Franklin,
he tried to get me to sing,
I want to be where the big people are.
I didn't do it.
Do you shake him off all the time?
Constable.
I do too.
Act to peg jumping.
I would prefer that whatever Lewis is saying in your ears, stay in your ears,
and not reach the microphones. At the very, my greatest preference is that Lewis not
be speaking in anyone's ears, but I'd like to never find out about it. The show is bad
enough without his help. I don't need him
saturating what it is that we're doing with an unoriginal take that's not even
yours about rocking chairs outside. I don't know what's my
face. He said it was a good take. He just built me up. He was like,
good take by you. Keep saying that. You're being mean to Lewis. I mean,
it's not nice. He told me to say that.
He definitely didn't say it. My ear just now screwed in.
Do you hate Lewis? Is that the person you hate?
Did we find it?
Emily's off the hook. No, she's not.
I do not hate Lewis.
You hate Emily.
Yeah, you hate him.
We all hate Emily.
You can't say it.
We hate Emily.
We hate Emily.
We hate Emily.
We hate Emily.
Come on, Dan.
Say it.
I hate what Lewis has done to the show.
Wow.
We hate what, oh, sorry.
And I hate that I don't know when you were telling me your opinion about rocking chairs outside of cracker barrel, that I don't know whether it's your opinion
or not. I would like to have I'm not being fooled enough by the internet as it stands. Now any
opinion arriving from any direction, I don't know who it belongs to.
I don't know if Billy is wearing a suit to tonight's game on the liqueue.
Ah, la grande.
I don't know.
Yo, he's got to say it.
Come down that way.
You better, your mom be better.
That's another one.
Thank you.