The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The S In Schur Stands For Sincere
Episode Date: June 28, 2023David shares a life hack, Jessica tells us about her life as an Academy soccer player, and Stugotz steadily learns the names of soccer teams. Then, Jess feels like Chicago is being ignored during thei...r air quality issues, and the crew argues the merits of watching a show weekly vs. shows being released all at once. Plus, Mike Schur has prepared a statement of apology after David Samson eloquently convinced him to support billionaire owners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dunlabel Tarshall with the Stugat's Podcast.
Things are getting worse by the minute around here, as I am trying to figure out what we can do where we're going how we're doing it
Stu gotses on trying to get tickets Mike Ryan got tickets, but it may not be messy first game
It may be messy first game now. Stu's trying to game the system
He's gonna buy tickets to every game and I have a mean over my right shoulder telling me Jeffrey
Laurier writes books.
A bunch of books.
And then tell me the ranking.
Everybody the obsession with ranking.
I don't know the ranking of his book.
Why would I know that?
But this is ranking according to sales.
I like to rank stuff just because I like to rank stuff.
This is according to sales, right?
I mean, yes, this is according to Amazon sales to be clear.
You might have sold a whole lot more in regular book stores.
Rob, on the nobles and borders is borders.
So there's no, I believe it's just Barnes and Noble.
What if he was saying multiple?
Multiple. Yeah, Barnes and nobles.
Yeah. And maybe Barnes and nobles.
And do you want to go to Barnes and Noble?
Border is a border or borders?
Uh-oh. Can we go to WebMD?
How do I find out what the name of that poster is?
I like WebMD.
Is it?
I go there for everything.
I like it.
That's just search engine.
WebMD.
That's it.
That is my W. It's WebMD.
Oh, it's a ticket available.
Is it to the Instagram to the messy game?
Yeah.
If you can buy him right now, we'll keep going.
We're going to try to do work here.
Yeah, you're going to be just like that guy that held up the sign.
It went viral and it was so stupid.
I traveled 1200 miles to see the goat
and it was to last week's game.
Wait, wasn't that plausible, though?
You know why they're doing that?
Because of those stupid kid
that remember that Billy, you're with me.
Remember the kid who came to the game
like, oh please, I came here all the way from Europe
or whatever he came from.
And everyone said, oh oh it's so cool
And then he just did this grift where he would go to games in different cities and hold up the same sign
You know what I think that they did now for talking this out and it could be wrong and I'm probably wrong
But that's a great lead. No, let's keep going with that
I wouldn't be surprised if this because we saw that this family did this multiple times and every time they got something out of it
If the team is like we have tickets to this game. Let's see the starting lineup
and let's see who is a DNP coaches decision before the game and then say, I came all the
way from Argentina to see Tyler hero play today and he's not playing. And then the team
feels bad and like, oh, come back tomorrow. Here's a free jersey. Here's a tour of the locker room. Here's this.
Here's that.
So they're doing it just for the freebies.
Yeah, agree.
Did that happen with us?
Didn't that happen when Luca Doncic played Goren Drogge
and Luca didn't end up playing in the game
and all these Slovenians traveled to what was then
the American Airlines arena?
Yeah, poor people.
Is that even a top 10 hack to go to a game
and claim that you wanted to see somebody?
I did a hack on the way down here
that was a 2,500 mile hack.
For those of you who are frequent flyers,
it's all about miles.
Talk to me.
Everything's miles.
Yes.
So I bored the plane in my 10 hour trek
to be here on time for Monday's show.
It took 10 hours.
I'm just serious.
Made the plane, sitting my seat,
and I am, I have an issue with dogs, hard stop.
Dogs should be in a crate or dogs should be under the plane.
On comes the plane, a dog, my size.
And all of a sudden, did it have a tactical, oh, good it. Did it have a tactical?
Oh, good one.
Did it have a tactical vessel?
That hurt.
Just so you know, it didn't hurt me because I don't know what that is.
So it's like a tiny dog.
It's like a dog.
You made a short joke about a dog.
It's like the dog that gets.
You walked right into a short joke.
Yeah, really David, we were all about to make it.
It's like the dog that could punt it in anger.
Well, through Billy.
Billy is your short joke proxy.
No, Billy was listening.
I was buying tickets.
I can't even.
We've lost.
We've actually lost the entire segment.
What is the name of this team?
My God.
Pine into Miami tickets.
Wait, you guys.
Inters Fort Lauderdale. You guys, oh, okay, good.
You guys continue with your conversation,
but Mike, is it like have they declared the 21st
to be his first game, or do they not know?
If you're in the know and you follow in or Miami,
you know this, that Jorge Maz spoke to Michelle Kaufman,
the owner of the team.
But it hasn't been aggregated,
but it's not common knowledge.
I mean, what happens if it falls on Barbanheimer day?
Barbanheimer, what are you going to choose?
Well, oh no, it is Barbanheimer day.
Oh my God.
He's wearing a Barbanheimer shirt.
Oh no.
No, but my Barbanheimer experience is going to be July 23.
What I'm hearing is that I'm not opening day.
I know.
What I'm hearing you do that for for sell. Is that what I'm hearing? No,
Bourbon Hymers is an all day experience and that's gonna be how I spend my 12th wedding anniversary.
Oh, nice.
Barbon Hymers. At an inter Miami game. No, no, no, at Bourbon Hymers. Keep up, David. I'm still focused on
the fact that two and I are going to get four tickets to the inter Miami game. No, I'm going to
get exciting, right? We're going to go to a game to get a sell for. Oh, we're totally's doing I'm gonna get four tickets to the I'm going I'm going I'm going to go to a game what are they going to sell them
for we're totally selling going I'm going to enter Miami I got your barben
heimer I got to give them all these information to buy tickets I can't just
go in there to pick two and buy the entire show is now buying tickets to the
game that may or may not have no what I'm doing is I'm buying tickets for not
only the 21st but all the games around just
You better not give Jessica your inter Miami tickets that would violate every provision that you hold dear to your heart
She played for Chicago fire. Uh-huh. Did you have a passion for inter Miami?
With Messi here. Yeah, I'll jump on the bandwagon
It means there's a parade on the top.
She was an academy player.
Do you really put up a Chicago bar?
The Academy team, yeah.
I mean, I wasn't on an MLS team.
You mean, she was in the Chicago Fire Academy?
Do you have to try out to be in the Academy?
Yeah, or just like that?
Yeah.
Do it in the MLS.
Exactly, thank you.
I'm not.
I mean, there is a women's league called the NWSL.
Do it in the NWSL.
I was only saying what a meme was afraid to say.
I didn't want to say it.
I wasn't afraid to say it.
It's what I was like.
I definitely knew that's what that leaves.
I was trying to do the, I was trying to do the EPL.
Who are the Colorado Rapids?
There are a team that you could get tickets to.
They'll come in the wraps.
They have actually a very good player.
I just spent three grand on the Rapid ticket. What's our zip code here? The level of disrespect right now being shown
toward our audience is at an all time high, which for us is quite something. What the hell
is a sounder? I mean, Jesus. That's actually what does the man play and who does he play for? Well, Paul Allen's trying to sell them, right?
Seattle.
Possumously.
The Sounders.
They sell more tickets than every team in Miami.
No way.
Yeah, every team may be combined.
They play in the Seahawks stadium and they do very well.
Really?
They do incredibly well.
They're a regular, full professional team.
Not that Interferler did not.
They sell out that
stadium. Yes. But the stadiums like cut in half, right, for soccer. No, the full stadium.
No, it's not the full stadium. There's a lot of cutting half. There's tarps on the upper
deck and there's portions of the upper deck, depending on the game that are actually cutting
half. But so they're lower ball. They put the final four, the super dome, and it's like half
the stadium. Yeah, but they're, but their lower bowl is still larger than most mls check their average
attendance i think the c-addle centers draw forty five thousand are not i don't
i've
all check but i don't believe there is good is that land united
no atlanta's number one atlanta united is top ten in the world
in soccer attendance
and my am is expecting something close to that eventually or no no no because they're
Cap they're gonna add 3000 seats presently they're 18,000 okay, so they're they're never gonna be in that discussion
Unless David are you okay? No, he's second he came to work. I'm totally fine. Do you need a cough drop?
I have some but we seem to be coughing in my directions
I know but if you eat too money too many it's a one-way ticket to tell me a city tell me a city I I'm matching with Gavascan. I know, but if you eat too many, too many, it's a one-way ticket to Tommy Hicks City. Tommy Hicks City.
I, I, I match them with Gavascan.
I go one for one.
Oh, wow.
I go one cost drive.
There's Gavascan.
Gavascan is like Pepto Bismol.
Is that the generic?
No, it's a, it's a chewable.
If it's so Pepto.
Uh, I, I view Pepto as a liquid.
They make it.
They have chewable.
I do not know that.
You know, you can light Pepto on fire.
Huh? And it turnsto on fire. Huh?
And it turns like like metallic. Really? Ooh, what it does in your tummy. Yeah, Google,
Google lighting pepto on fire. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you're a segment first of that,
I actually have parental controls on my Google. It just goes to Web MD. Yeah, you can light
it on fire and turns into like this black ball of metal. And that's like junior mints and Coca-Cola.
A Iron.
Is it one of those hacks?
Kind of.
That nobody really knows, like my messy's gonna play.
I know Stu got to ask this question,
but what is Cruz as a little?
This is unreal.
Who said parental controls on your computer?
You're a 50 year old.
I do.
Why was a mean throw on shade at me being a youth soccer player?
He was
implying that your parents paid for you because of that Academy. If we're all
gonna, if we're gonna be direct with what he was doing. To be fair when you said
Chicago fire, I thought you were a professional soccer player. No, never. No, but
when you said that and it's possible that's what he thought. That's what I
thought too. Now I got really excited for a second. Wow. This whole side of your
life that I didn't know.
Yeah, I mean, you try out and then,
some are, you know, they say like,
hey, your child made a team.
That's not right.
Do you have 20 grand and then, you know, you say yes
and then you're like, if you give 25, she'll start.
And that, yeah, that was my stock.
That's actually how all soccer works in this country.
It's why we're not great in parks.
It actually is. Yeah, pay to play. It wasn't quite my experience, but, no, it's not. It's actually how all soccer works in this country. It's why we're not great in parks. It actually is.
Yeah, pay to play.
It wasn't quite my experience, but it means my.
Did you make it a Chicago Fire theme summer camp?
Yeah, you have to do drills, you slide down the pole,
you have to carry the pole.
Like I went to the Carolina basketball camp.
Like Taylor.
One of the,
but out of an actual fire.
One of the conditions of my childhood
is I spent a lot of time in Milwaukee and
I was sent to the Milwaukee Bucks basketball camp, right and what year was this?
The Lucius Allen came Bobby Dandrich came I'll keep going
I'll go through the whole
City Monkry if I love to, oh God. Mark and Sons. Was I not a triath of that?
So I was the shortest kid in the Milwaukee Bucks basketball camp.
And I was like the mascot.
I was good at dribbling and good at free throws and good at shooting, but I was very,
very small and they were very, very big.
And I only got accepted because I was forced to go to a camp as part of a deal with the
force, et cetera.
So I went to Nick Bolitary, tennis academy.
Oh, wow.
I went to Milwaukee, Bucks, basketball camp.
And here I am, all five foot zero of me
going to these sports camps.
And I'm picturing Jessica like a Chicago Fire scene, which
happened all the time, these real players.
You were a real player.
Yeah, you have to wear the helmets and everything.
Seen someone come into a camp who looks like they don't belong.
Hell there's no helmets and soccer.
Do you guys think it's weird there's a mls team named after a
humongous lead devastating natural disaster like it'd be like if
intermine was called the hurricane androos well there's Miami hurricanes
they're right yeah
but in Chicago they view the Chicago fire as a as a point
of the sun but I learned that from Vince a lot of people died in the wake up
it was great for the city will
there's no doubt about it turned into the architectural capital of this country
became the city that a lot of people died during the great Chicago by
she watched the break up also
much that i'd be buying road tickets
like will be the mess on the road they're all sold out what's
arsenal it's actually named after
the uh actually named after the
NBC show you're gonna have to get
on a plane like over this pond to
see that who's Chelsea that's a
great song by Elvis Costello
Chelsea good and why does she
cost so much
Chelsea girl
¿Y qué haces? ¿Qué haces? Pero lo más aterrador es no saber en qué confiar. Uy de las personas que os piden que mireis, si queréis seguir convido.
Burtbox, Barcelona, estreno en Netflix el 14 de julio.
Te atreves a ver.
Tan lebatar.
Tan, kids,
you don't really realize how much time it just adds to your day.
And how little they bring to the table.
They bring nothing to the table. Yeah, nothing to the table they bring nothing to the table nothing to the table in fact you have to bring the table to them but I want
to go to play against me for you know what I would do I grab my keys I had hop in my
car now there's seven different bags you got it take a 30 five minutes ago to play
an again still got something like you move everything around all of a sudden you can't
leave knives everywhere like I'm used to.
Put it on the pole gear, Moat Levitage Show.
Is there anything lazier than an infant?
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Something interesting happened yesterday, slash today.
Do you guys remember a couple of weeks ago when New York City had the worst air quality
of any other city in the United States world.
That is currently happening in Chicago,
also because of wildfires.
In Canada again, bastards.
And it's interesting because I grew up just outside
of Chicago and Chicago has always had a little bit
of an inferiority complex to New York City, Chicago.
And now Chicago is having their own wildfire scandal and not a
tweet, not a single tweet, not a coastal elites, Jess, because New York did it first.
Well once it happens to New York, I mean.
It's the second city, yeah.
They even get the second hand smoke from Canada.
Yeah, I don't even know that. That Chicago. Go to that.
Go at a terrible air quality index this weekend. And now we didn't care. I only knew it because I
looked up why aren't planes taking off from New York. So I'm proving your point.
I want to clear up there quicker. Why would you say Wendy City? Yeah.
It's actually not called the Wind city because of the wind it's called the
windy city
because of all the wind bag politicians that
uh... emanated from chicago for real this is true it is true
i recently took a one-dollar architectural tour of the on the chicago river as
any good chicago tourist does
and they tell you that fact. It was actually
originated around the time of the 1891. I believe World's Fair
and Chicago petitioned very hard to get the World's Fair and
talked themselves up very much and became known as the Windy
City. Wow. 100 years plus years later, nothing has changed.
I thought you were going to say, because Brian windtour is just from Chicago
Windy, but I don't even know that's I don't think he is
Macron yeah, well you guys really all job like everyone knew that yeah
No, famous. He's from Acron
DC Journal another overlooked city in an overlooked state.
There's not enough respect for the West.
Acre is not a city.
Oh.
I've been there.
It's not a city.
I believe it counts as a city.
No.
They have a Mac football team.
It doesn't matter.
It's a town.
It's a township.
A township.
Yeah.
A hamlet.
What are you doing there?
I'm saying it's not.
We have to draw a line.
These places that think they're cities, you're not city.
It's a city, right?
You're not a city.
It is a city.
Google doesn't know what it's like.
We have to draw that line.
We have to draw that line.
Why do we have to do that?
Because nobody else is, Billy.
Why is it a necessary line to be drawn?
Because these, some of these little towns are passing themselves all the cities and the
sickle.
You would consider Chicago a little town.
No, it's a city.
I know because the airport is six million miles away
from the actual city.
Oh, what you landed, O'Hare, you're halfway there.
Oh my God, and I gotta see all those billboards,
a Brian Erlocker.
Oh my God, Erlocker,
when you get off the hook.
That's how you know.
Oh, so many billboards.
That's how you know you're in Chicago.
There's like six in a row of him with hair.
And he's like, are you sick of seeing me yet?
Buy this hair product. But they become self-aware. But here's the funny thing, like, are you sick of seeing me yet? Buy this hair product.
Like they become self-aware.
But here's the funny thing,
like how much money does this company have
because I remember going to Chicago in like 2018
and then going to Chicago again last year.
Yeah, it's so fair.
And it's there still there.
It's there more.
It's $294, too.
They're multiplying.
It's now under construction.
So you just sit there in a standstill,
staring at Brian or Lackar now for like an hour.
With this smug look on his face, like yeah.
And it was just funny because he's a guy
that like has, he was whole persona, like him being bald,
no one looked at him as a guy who didn't have hair.
He's just a bald guy.
It's like Charles Barkley and Shaq,
like you just identified Jordan,
I didn't write as a bald guy.
It wasn't like he had a great head of hair than he was.
Actually, I think of him more as a bald guy now
that he has hair, because I'm like,
that doesn't look right.
Yeah.
I think he had more as an insurrectionist.
Is he?
I think he has politics that would not align with his shows.
Wait, was he a January 6th?
I don't think he was.
No, he wasn't there.
Oh, cool.
But he's very, I mean, it's, you know where he stands.
Well, if you follow him on social media,
I believe his brother got pardoned by President Trump.
Rich retired white NFL player might have right leaning
political retired athletes, retired white athletes.
Hold on, wait a second.
Brian or Lackar aside,
Chicago's really having a moment right now with season
two of the bear coming out. Oh yeah. Everyone wants to talk about Italian beef and Chicago dogs
and the smoke from the wildfires in the city. And I'm really I'm really proud of the city I know.
And the Chicago Fire Academy. Yeah, exactly. I heard it. People talking about it at the water cooler.
And the TV show Chicago fire. Chichet. Just there's a even a Chicago style hot dog beef place that opened up down the street for me in
Brooklyn oh my god but you need your passport to come there from Manhattan
decent really really good Bobby's beef shout out Bobby's beef we talked about this
what a nod shout out yeah sorry my brain is soup right now.
I don't know what's going on.
While we're at it, shout out to the five guys
at Bayside over here, man.
Those guys took care of me yesterday.
What, phrasing?
Five guys, all right?
Charlotte.
It's been a call.
I hate that I'm laughing at this.
Oh my God.
Charlotte, you and I were talking about this earlier this morning about that television program
the bear. Yes.
And how it dropped all episodes all at once and you finally seen the light.
Yeah.
Binging is not the way.
Look, I usually have really annoyed when we would drop every Sunday here's a new episode
blah, blah, blah. I wanted to binge it. I want to give it to me all at once.
Which I do still think is the move for Love is Blind and Selling Sunset.
But when it comes to the bear, I got through, I think I've gone through like four or five
episodes and I saw a picture on social media that like ruined, I put it to you, I was like,
oh my god, that's what that means.
And I'm like, if you had just dropped it week by week, there's a grace period where people I think know,
like don't spoil it the night of or the next day.
And if you haven't caught up by a certain point,
that's on you.
Well, I mean, not only that,
but we're all experiencing it at the same pace.
Yeah.
So I think a succession, that last season,
we're all experiencing the death of a spoiler alert.
The death of...
Well, here we go again.
This show is not the good show to be lecturing about.
Us or succession?
All of us.
We are the worst, especially Dan,
because as we know, he is a leaky faucet.
Yes.
We are the worst at not spoiling things
and then saying spoiler alert after they've been spoiled.
That's very weird.
The death of a major character on succession.
There you go, see, I cleaned it up.
Jerry.
We all experienced that in real time together
within 48 hours or so, depending on when you watch the episode.
And so there's something communal about that
that makes you feel good and also doesn't,
like I'm gonna tell you right now,
whenever there's these shows that come out all at once
or once it moves, did you watch?
It makes me not wanna watch it for months.
Because I'm like, I don't want to get into this rat race
of trying to binge 12 hours of content
just so I can catch up to what you guys are talking about,
which will be talked about for a day.
When you talk about the bear,
which I haven't seen season two yet,
but it's like, how can you have a conversation about it
when there's so many things that happen throughout a season
and there are people who want the whole thing.
Yeah, I also think the bear had enough traction after season one.
I get it if you're taking a chance on a newer show, but when enough people aren't that
invested, like space it out, let it become more of a cultural phenomenon, if you will.
But I feel like Stu likes binge watching.
Well, no, I hate binge watching.
It was a better time.
I loved it when we all watched TV together. And then we spent
a week talking about what it is we watched what now I'm thinking about Dynasty. We would
sit around. We would talk about play Carrington. We would talk about what's going to happen.
What we think is going to happen in the next episode.
Shot Tear. Then we would exactly that was Dallas. Then we would all watch that episode together.
I mean, it was a better time. It's a better way to consume television. You know what this is
This is a death of the monoculture my friends
Think shark if you say so I was just thinking that
I feel like that half a while ago. Yeah
Monoculture isn't that a Pokemon. Yeah,. But does it take the fun away of discussing these shows
with your friends when you have to stop and say,
where are you at in this series?
Like,
it sucks.
It sucks.
It sucks.
This isn't for people.
This is for people who don't have friends.
People who live in a hole and they go,
I just want to rest my Netflix.
It also means you have to know what episode you're on.
So that someone's like, what episode are you on?
And if I'm like episode five, they're like, well, I don't even know what episode the thing I want to talk what episode you're on. So that someone's like, what episode are you on? And I find like episode five, they're like,
well, I don't even know what episode the thing I want
to talk to you about happened.
So I can't even try, you know.
Is someone so dead or not?
Yeah, we don't know.
Yeah, and once I ask it, we're like,
someone so dies, I'm like, oh, I want to see now.
Yeah, I finally got to the final episode of succession,
planning on watching that tonight.
How crazy is that? And I'm increasingly getting mad at Dan
because I was worried that he was gonna spoil it.
And he said something blank by blank,
like a couple of days after the finale happened.
I'm like, if this ends up being the big twist at the end,
I'm gonna be really mad and sure enough,
it's altered my entire viewing experience
to know that I'm anticipating it. Although it's become pretty clear in the final episodes leading
up to the finale that that's a road that were down. It's it lost a lot of its
luster for me. If you're not watching a live wait like a year or 10 and then
you'll just forget everything that everybody talked about it's not gonna be in
your head. That's how I'm with the binge shows. I'm not gonna there's a show on
Amazon right now called I'm a Virgo. I'm not gonna, there's a show on Amazon right now
called I'm a Virgo.
I was so excited to watch it, I watched the trailer.
This is awesome.
I clicked on Amazon, I saw all episodes available,
I said never mind.
What?
Never mind, I'm not gonna watch it.
You straight up won't watch it, I don't know.
I don't have time to sit there.
You have the same amount of time, just wait a week
in between viewing.
Why not?
You can just set an alarm on your phone,
hey, I have to sit down and watch.
People are talking, so I need these conversations
to be erased from my mind, so me to forget everything,
and then go back and watch.
I do love when people are watching things
from like 20 years ago now, and they're like,
you're like, oh, like you're gonna love such and such show.
Like, my two of my friends are watching the sopranos
from the beginning, out of nowhere, they text me other night.
Janice shot Richieie and I was like,
wow, what a moment.
I mean, it happened 15 years ago, so it's not a spoiler.
But now you have to wait 10 more.
But I love it.
I love reliving those moments to the eyes of...
Live vicariously through other people's binge watching.
Yeah, do the Virgin Eyes of a binge watcher?
Like, so wait a second.
This guy, Tony Soprano, is also in therapy.
And there are me like, what?
What?
Docs?
A cow who refuses to move.
To see how they're experiencing the show that you see.
Yeah, like it's crazy.
I have a friend who was watching Oz
and I was like, wait till what happens
and when you see what happens to the shillinger, oh guy you really changes I'm getting to that one. Oz?
Yeah it's on the slate for let me tell you I'm getting the patents plays with
the race. Mike if you watch the new season of season of and just like that yet
I was upset that my wife saw the first episode. I did file a petition though for something called Justice for Steve.
What's in your slide, that?
They've just done Steve so wrong.
They really have.
Like Steve's just going blind and deaf
and now his wife's leaving him.
That's just like a city show.
Yeah.
It's the sequel.
I can't wait to watch it.
No, what's next?
Spoiler alert.
She doesn't have very many good relationships.
They're all awful people.
They always have been.
I watched a lot of the old,
I did some rewatch with my wife once.
She was doing the rewatch.
They're all awful people.
But Dan, Kim Ketral, it is back.
Oh, wow.
I'm so mad.
Is she still horny?
Is there any other kind?
She's always horny.
He's always horny.
He's stupid. Don Lebatard. So here's the chant. Is there any other kind?
Still Don Lebatard
So here's the chant
Are you ready?
I'm speaking to the rest of the country
You say who?
We say who?
Stugats
You say who?
We say who?
You say who?
Marant
We say who?
This is the Don Lebat our show with this to got
Mike sure is back after fireworks yesterday with David Samson
David thanked him for coming back. What did you think Mike sure was not coming back for a segment today with you like?
I was not aware that he was willing to give his time every day. It's quite generous. It is very generous. He has a a stat of the day and I am told Mike
share and this is surprising to me. I am told that you are going to issue some
sort of on air apology to one David Samson. Is that correct? I am yes. I have
I have a statement I'd like to read if it's okay with everybody. Upon. I just have some things I want to say to David and to the rest of you. Okay. Yeah, that is
More than okay. Okay. Here we go
Over the past couple days David Samson and I have had a spirited debate over the finances of pro-sports franchise owners
We are two passionate people who deeply believe in the truth of our causes.
I believe, based on my reading of dozens of well-researched articles, that the billionaire owners
approach sports franchises, manipulate accounting rules and tax laws, in order to mislead the
public about their finances and enrich themselves. David believes that my opinions are not valid because
I have a nice house.
After a good deal of reflection, I have realized that David is correct.
The owners of pro franchises are kind, empathetic people who take on enormous financial burdens
simply in order to serve the public in the city they represent.
There is no other possible reason they want to own sports franchises.
Why would you?
You lose money every year.
Imagine buying into a pro sports franchise knowing full well that you are going to lose money every year
with nothing to keep you going except the 100% certainty of some day selling it
and making several billion dollars in pure profit.
And the knowledge that you can blackmail the taxpayers into paying for your new stadium
by threatening to move the team to another city.
These men are saints.
It's incredible, really, that they would all willingly enter into an ownership agreement
knowing full well that they are financially doomed.
My heart aches for these lionheartedhearted champions of the common citizen, who sacrificed
their personal fortunes solely to bring us the fans a little bit of joy. I just imagine
Mickey Eris and Lion in bed, quivering in fear, thinking of all that red ink in his ledger,
wondering how he is going to make ends meet, with nothing but a money-losing franchise,
and also several billions of other
dollars, and also the franchise is worth 4 billion more than he paid for it.
So here's to you, Donald Sterling.
I salute you, Daniel Snyder and Robert Sarver, Woody Johnson, Robert Kraft, James Dolan,
Jerry Jones, Steve Balmer, and Mickey Erison.
You all lose money every year, And I am sorry for that.
I feel terrible about the money you lose every year.
I wish there was something I could do to stop you
from losing money every year.
But as David has pointed out, that's just the life of a pro-sports franchise owner.
You're just gonna lose money every year.
So I would like to apologize to David for how I behaved.
Thanks to his
totally on the level and not at all full of shit at home and the
arguments. I have now seen the light and understand the billionaire owners of
sports franchises to be poor, selfless street urchins who bear the incredible
burden of owning an asset that relentlessly appreciates and value and which
is guaranteed monopolistic success due to the federal antitrust exemptions
they have been granted.
The owners are the true heroes, not unlike our teachers and first responders.
In fact, yes, I'll say it, pro sports owners are better and more noble than first responders.
Do first responders lose money every year?
I don't think so.
Those fat cats are rolling in it. I'd like to apologize to Mike Ryan and Jeremy Tashay for the mean things I said about the heat collapsing in the finals.
I now, of course, realize they must have been destroyed because they knew how much money Mickey Anderson was losing over the course of the season.
Who could possibly play basketball effectively when you know for a fact that your beloved owner is losing money on the team, I'm also announcing that beginning immediately
I'm crossing the WGA picket lines and beginning to scab because it occurred to me that if David says the team's lose money every year
Which I now truly believe then maybe Comcast and Disney and Warner Brothers and Amazon and Apple are also losing money as they claim, making television shows. This hardly seems fair, so I'm going back to work immediately to try to stop Jeff Bezos
from losing more money.
And lastly, I apologize to Mickey Erison himself.
As David has pointed out a number of times in a weird attempt to undermine my argument by
insinuating that I'm some kind of hypocrite, I have myself made a good deal of money in my
career.
If Mr. Erison needs a loan, because of all the money he has lost after owning the he for 30 years,
I am more than happy to provide one for him. It would actually help me, as I can use my fancy
accountant to structure it as a depreciating investment in carnival cruise lines, and then I can
claim I made no money this year and won't have to pay federal or state income taxes. Obviously, I resigned from medial orch media effective immediately, cordially, make sure.
Wow.
Like an FDR fireside chat.
Yeah, I'm going to need a minute.
Tonight, we're, well, resignation declined.
Right.
Yeah, but.
Nice apology.
But we appreciate your heartfelt apology.
Yeah.
Yeah, it takes a big hand. One of the things that puts the G me to tears you wanted to bait right here. That's not a debate. No, I feel so bad for me
Well, that's a end result. There's no debate when he when he comes on I was told that he was coming on to do an apology
That's not an apology. That is him. He said sorry several times
an apology. That is him. He said sorry several times. He did say it. But I said, I'm sorry. Like five times.
It's hard to say, I'm sorry and have it not be an apology.
And that's just what happened. Peter said, I don't know about that.
I don't know. In sure, say it's for. I can't see her.
You just because you're laughing. He's plain to you.
I've been laughing for three days on this argument.
You are the sucker in this scenario.
I mean, by living in Miami-Dade County, yes.
You, I am a sucker in this scenario.
You are a sucker in every way.
I am only thankful that that apology was done in a Cubs jersey, which just simply reflects
the level of loser of that apology and the ineffective nature of that apology.
But it is lovable though.
And I do not accept it on behalf of myself
as we really don't care about Mickey Arasso.
That was personal.
Not necessary.
I don't accept it.
I'm not angry at all.
So the misunderstanding about yesterday is I'm not upset.
You're actually laughing?
No, no, I'm not.
You're actually laughing.
I'm not angry.
You're actually laughing. I was actually laughing about're actually laughing. I you're not angry. You're actually laughing I was actually laughing about something totally unrelated. I was thinking about art
But what what what made me smile more about yesterday and we which art Bob Ross is
No
And my fall and can I have art shells phone number? Do you have that one?
Our briles have our house are you are I have our briles number. It's 6666666.
Are you Bucco?
Start passing them down. So Mike, the reaction that I got and that interested me is that you
your apology or your argument both are aligned in that you make things very binary and they're
really not. The owners are not binary. And they're really not.
The owners are not binary, owners are different.
All owners are different, just like all fans are doing.
The owners are non-binary?
I'm not making a gender joke.
I'm talking about the way you're looking at how
the accounting goes or how,
whether or not they make money or lose money goes.
It's just different for every team and every situation.
Could I ask you a question?
David, I agree with.
I did you not hear my apology?
I'm on your side now.
I believe that you're correct.
I believe the owners lose money every year.
I'm totally on your side.
Yeah, then I guess I should direct.
I'm not one of your, I'm not a fanboy.
Should I direct?
Not taking your sarcasm and say,
no, wow, that's genuine.
I'm not really gonna say what are you saying about us, David?
I'm sorry.
I'm saying what? You want to have lunch with a guy or not? No, I'd wow, that's genuine. I'm really gonna say, what are you saying about us, David? I'm sorry, I'm saying.
I'm saying what I have lunch with a guy or not.
No, I'd love to, of course,
but having nothing to do with this show.
Given that Mike is on your side now,
I'll just direct my questions to Mike.
Say Jeffrey Loria took out a large loan
while owning the, the Marlins.
Would that be a high interest rate loan?
Would he have to pay income tax on said loan? Would he get the benefit of be a high interest rate loan? Would that, would he have to pay income
tax on said loan? Would he get the benefit of a very favorable interest rate because of
the asset that he has in his ownership that would certainly grant him hundreds of millions
if not billions of dollars in the future when he sold it?
I would imagine that would be the case, but I would also say that what choice does he
have but to take out a load if he's losing all this money every year, right?
Like, the guy, he's probably staring at creditors knocking out his door.
There's probably, there's probably an eviction notice on his apartment building saying you
have 24 hours to get out of here.
He had no choice.
I don't know the details of it, but I would guess that he simply had no choice, that he
had lost so much money by owning the marlins I mean he like David said yesterday. He bought the
Expose for 11 or 12 million dollars and he then watched helplessly as just the money just flew out of his account
He was probably thinking to himself what have I gotten myself into that's what I imagine most owners are thinking all the time
What have I done? This is insane. I just wanted to bring the fans a little
bit of joy. And now I've ruined myself financially. And so he probably had no choice but to take
it alone. I hope that it was a low interest rate. Loan, I hope it was a zero interest rate.
Can you imagine if someone were in the room who could answer the question? That'd be weird.
Well, you're on your side. He's on your side. You so you specifically so he argued your point what do you say that's different than what he said
he has no idea what he's talking about
what are you gonna are you disagree with that
disagree with Mike sure with your own point
no I disagree with that weird
weird he's
he's finally on your collateral i don't get what's going on he's finally on
your side he's using your talking points and you disagree with him
Well if any of the billionaires need somewhere to stay
I have a fold out that they can use I do feel bad for them
They seem like they're very strapped for cash. Yeah, how many nice city sleep on a food tone?
How many nights do you sleep on a food time depends if I have much money I lose on the Rockies and how much my wife finds out about it
I'm going to leave on a foot. Depends if I have much money I lose on the Rockies and how much my wife finds out about it.
That's what everyone thinks in your life depends on.
Dude, that's the Rockies.
You've got a lot going on the Rockies.
I went over three in that angel series somehow.
David, are you accepting of the apology?
I said I'm not gambling for the month.
I'm going back to my old friend.
Let's get you on the guy.
Stop the day, start of the day. Back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back Start of the day, and this is the start of the day
The Washington Nationals folks lost game one of their series to the Mariners the other night which means they have not swept
any of their last 90 series that they have played. You've got 90 series about a sweep.
According to Optistats that is the longest streak of series about a sweep in the history
of Major League Baseball. The old record was 89 straight without a sweep by the Philadelphia
athletics in 1914 to 1917. And you know what's fascinating? The nationals
still worth more than they were when whoever bought them bought them. Well, I'm
glad you guys work things out. You feel better? Thank you for helping me, David. I
appreciate your education and I like I
said I'm enough firmly on your side and I look forward to doing more
investigative work about these poor, poor owners in their sad financial states.