The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The Tower of Terror
Episode Date: July 8, 2024Domonique gave Stugotz a very thoughtful gift to no response, and it sparks a conversation on willpower against products targeted toward you on social media and the type of content on everyone's For Y...ou pages. Are you a Jasper the Doll person? How about male bodybuilders? Can I interest you in iOS 18? Then, David expresses interest in attending Michael Rubin's White Party, and Domonique explains how Kendrick's song of the summer put a damper on the party of the summer. Plus, discussions on Team USA Basketball, a shitty biathlon, and Giannis' joy in leading Greece to the Olympics before Brad Penny himself joins the show to corroborate Nick Cirillo's story and fill in the gaps on some of the details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Dominique has been concerned about the stuff that's been getting onto his face and hands
all morning.
It's been very weird.
Every... it's like there's white powder.
White stuff.
The makeup person came in kindly and said, you got stuff all over you.
And it was pointed out that this is Stu Gantz's chair.
Yeah. I don't know what it is.
I'm touching something. It's disgusting.
And I appreciate everyone for helping me out
in this process, but it's very gross.
I had to change the microphone little cover thing
because it was gross.
I'm mad at Stu also.
I was perusing the internet and I got,
I saw something, a gift that I thought
would be perfect for Stu.
It like popped up and I saw it
and it made me think of him.
So I bought it for him, sent it to his house.
He didn't say anything so it was like.
He's not home a lot though.
Oh no, it was a while ago.
So I saw.
He also moved.
Did you have an old address? I asked him for his address because it was a while ago. So I saw. He also moved, did you have an old address?
I asked him for his address,
cause it wasn't a secret.
He's also ungrateful.
Yeah, I think that's the one.
Could that be part of it?
I think that's the one.
And I'm not someone,
so my wife is like a stickler for like the,
like the proper way to do things.
It was like, you get, you send out thank you cards,
you do these sorts of things.
And I'm not a guy who's a stickler for that,
but like, shoot a brother a text.
You want acknowledgement.
And so I text him like, hey, how you doing?
I'm good.
All right, bud, see you later.
That was it.
I'm like, all right, I guess so.
I bring it to the air, to air my grievances with him.
I believe he never saw it.
Possibly.
That's nice of you.
What did you get him?
They were Grateful Dead Influence Knicks t-shirts.
What a thoughtful gift.
Right.
I'm not even a great gift giver, but because I'm
a fan of this show, I know that Stu
pretends to like New York sports,
but really likes Grateful Dead.
So first of all, my algorithm, little disappointed in you.
Not sure what about me suggested
that I wanted Grateful Dead Knicks t-shirts, but.
It just knows you know Stu.
Yeah, must have.
Do you get the credit for thinking of Stu
when it was the algorithm that gave it to you?
Or you're talking about the credit once you see it,
and then you think of it.
No, it didn't say for Stu Gotts. I mean, whether it did or didn't, I typed credit once you see it, and then you think of it. No, it didn't say force through God's.
I mean, whether it did or didn't,
I typed in my credit card information, his address,
like I spent some time and some money.
Shoot a brother, I keep catching myself.
Shoot a brother a text and say thanks.
How many times you guys need to be targeted
for the same thing before you finally commit to it?
Because it happened to me with a pair of sneakers recently
where I went, I found my size, I put them in the cart
and I said, no, I don't need these sneakers.
Oh, once it's in the cart, you're.
Oh, it kept going over and over again.
And then I went through, I went through to the point
where like I was checking out and I tried to,
instead of put my credit card, just do Apple Pay.
And then there was nowhere to click to make the purchase.
And I was like, well, this is a sign. I don't need these things. And then I click to make the purchase, and I was like,
well this is a sign, I don't need these things.
And then I left, and then an hour later,
I was on Instagram, and I had the same target,
and I'm, you know what, this is a sign I need these shoes.
So then I went and I just put in the credit card information
and I bought the shoes.
But it took like six tries before I was able to commit
to these shoes that were 49.99.
Have you ever guys, have you guys ever seen
Stugots in a t-shirt? Mostly a hoodie. I don't think I seen Stugots in a t-shirt?
Mostly a hoodie.
I don't think I've ever seen him in a t-shirt.
Now that I think about it.
Oh, bad gift.
I should have got him the hoodie.
He came up to me the other day
when I was wearing a t-shirt,
and he's like, that's my t-shirt.
And I'm like, how?
And I was like, no, this is a shirt
that some band sent a bunch of shirts.
He's like, no, I'm pretty sure that's mine.
And I'm like, how on earth would I have your shirt?
Like, why would I be wearing your shirt?
Why would he think you have the same size as Stu?
Well, we're close.
I actually think he's a larger size than I am.
You're a foot and a half taller than he is.
I know, but I've, mm.
Listen, between us, he's on the 2XL train right now,
and I'm not.
What?
Yeah, not to put any of his business out there.
But he thought that I was somehow wearing his exact shirt
because he couldn't comprehend that people
would have the exact same shirt.
Hold on, I just wanna fact check this.
Stugots cannot be two XLs.
I'm just telling you what he takes
when the things are set here.
Well, that's different.
That's what he wears.
Maybe that's why he didn't think
Dominique got him an XL.
Yeah, what size you get on, like medium or something?
Yeah, I think I probably got him a large.
Like, I wear mediums, but. Buddy, it's? Yeah, I think I probably got him a large like I wear mediums, but buddy. It's not 2002
I think I probably got him a large so he probably doesn't appreciate it
I asked him so I text him before I got it cuz like what's your address cuz I don't have his address
He didn't I didn't ask him what your size. That was a mistake
Can I tell you something I found out about him just now in the break that I'm bringing on the air and I probably shouldn't
But whatever it was just announced to me
So we have a guy that works here Taylor who helps out with video and does all kinds of stuff out in the break that I'm bringing on the air. I probably shouldn't, but whatever. It was just announced to me.
So we have a guy that works here, Taylor,
who helps out with video and does all kinds of stuff.
He sings.
He's a great singer.
He's a serial WFAN listener.
He loves WFAN.
He's from New York.
David, I don't know if you know this,
he rode a train from here up to New York.
Yeah.
For them to lose, as I recall.
Correct, yeah.
And I think he has the team's curse, whatever.
So he's always listening to WFAN, he loves New York sports,
and he told me that he heard announced on WFAN last week
that Stugats will be filling in in July on WFAN.
And that was news to me, and probably news to everyone
that is hearing this now.
It is July, is that why he's not here this week?
No, he's golfing this week, he's in Lake Tahoe.
Which makes me then wonder when this filling in
is going to occur because he's had two straight weeks off,
he's presently playing golf,
but they announced he will be filling in in July.
Without dates?
That's a weird announcement to make.
I assume they have the dates.
Where was he last week?
Do you want?
Nope.
No, don't need it.
No.
Breaking the fourth wall or?
No, keep that fourth wall right where it belongs.
I like four walls.
We're breaking it.
No, don't break it.
I don't want it broken.
So algorithms, they be knowing stuff, man.
I have a weird situation where I learn things
that I'm into by my social media.
So like I just discovered TikTok. I'm into by my social media. So like, I just discovered TikTok.
I'm into scare videos now.
So I used to be a guy who was like-
What's a scare video?
It's like they do a compilation of people jumping out
and scaring people and I find it incredibly hilarious
and I'm embarrassed because I fancy myself
somewhat of a smart guy who appreciates some high brow, HBO level content,
but you show somebody getting scared.
And I mean, you got me.
I'll go.
Like haunted house?
No, no, no, no, just regular people.
Like the Shining?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
So like, assume you walk out of this studio
and I'm standing on the other side,
someone else has a camera, and I go,
ha!
And then you like jump and flinch and drop whatever.
Compilations of videos like that and I love them.
How do you get on that algorithm?
I don't know, I think they probably just tested me one time.
I don't know.
You will be now, David.
Yeah.
I will never be, I don't like Instagram.
I don't like, it wasn't Instagram, it's TikTok.
I don't really like Instagram either
because I don't really care and this is sad,
but I don't really care about other people's lives.
TikTok is more like entertainment than it is,
like I don't wanna know what you're doing, I don't care.
If I care, I'll call you.
This is why you don't have friends, right?
Yeah, it's exactly why I don't have friends.
I wanna know, I would like my friends for the day
to join in and Lucy, what is the weird thing in your app?
I feel like asking Lucy what is the weird thing is. It? I feel like asking Lucy, what is the weird thing is.
It's gonna involve.
What's the normal thing on Lucy's app?
Okay, so two things first related to your last point.
I saw a girl that I went to high school with
on my TikTok for you page the other day
and it infuriated me.
I should never see someone I know
on my TikTok for you page.
Also, she lied in the video, but I'm not gonna bring it up.
Wait, wait, wait, is she herself an influencer of some kind?
No, she like was in a man on the street video.
Yeah.
And she said she was from a different town
than we were from.
And I said, I know, that's a lie.
I'm not gonna say her name.
But TikTok knew that you knew her
and that's how it ended up on your stream.
And it made me so angry.
Is she famous now?
Like, we discussed the bikini contest
before, is she judging that this weekend? She, the video has gone viral.
Oh.
But like, not in a bad way, like she looks great in the video and I'm not gonna bring up anything cause it's not, I'm not gonna duck so.
She's just a liar.
But she said she was from a different town, I said you're not from there.
What town did she say she was from?
Not gonna say cause it'll give the video away.
Man, so we don't know what Stigots was doing last week, we don't know where this girl's from.
But no, I know where she's from. She's just lying.
How am I supposed to be finding stuff out?
You can't be repping sets that ain't your set.
How'd it get your ass beat?
It made me just very, very angry.
And it wasn't even that she lied.
It was that like, I go on TikTok
to make sure I don't see people lie now.
Right, yeah, it's for entertainment.
And I don't wanna see you.
But the videos that I am really into right now,
and I've talked about this on Mystery Create,
is Jasper the doll,
and she's a doll that's like kind of crazy.
And so it's like, I get a lot of puppet and doll videos,
and they are so funny.
I actually bought a cameo from Jasper
to give to my sister for her birthday.
She loved it.
You guys gotta look up Jasper the doll.
You will not like it.
You won't like her at all.
Oh gosh.
Oh, I love Jasper.
That's scary.
Her videos are so funny.
I don't like this.
No, she's so funny.
She's such a crazy doll living her crazy life.
She's hilarious.
Would you guys be reacting like this
if she looked like Barbie?
Probably not.
But she's made videos that she's not related to weird Barbie.
That they are completely different
Similar I also like I've moved past this but I had a phase where I was into like pimple popping
Ingrown toenail removal ear ear cleaning type. So it's not it's actually when they pull the big thing out of your ear
It feels oh did I tell you that I went I went to go to a CVS, shout out to CVS.
Nope, twice.
Don't shout them out.
For getting my ear cleaned professionally.
Did they ask you if you had a ride home?
They did not.
That's not for your ear, Billy.
They asked me that.
It could mess up your equilibrium.
That's what they said.
They said a lot of people need to kind of sit down
after the fact.
I didn't, because I'm a superhuman.
They didn't ask me, maybe because I present more like
an adult. Confident, yeah.
But I got my ear professionally cleaned
with like water and all those things.
Irrigation. Ear irrigation.
Ear irrigation.
Ear irrigation.
Ear irrigation.
Nothing, nothing came out.
It was incredibly disappointing.
Oh. Was there nothing in there, or? They just did a good job. Not for me to say. nothing came out. It was incredibly disappointing.
Was there nothing in there or?
They just didn't do a good job.
Not for me to say.
They tried for a long time.
Nothing between those ears.
And they said, there's no great TikTok viral reveal.
Why did you think you had something in there?
It felt a little stuffy in there.
Also, I think I just seen it so many videos
where I was like, I want that feeling.
You can get a picker like
That I have at home water
Irrigation system that works just fine, but they also have people who do like professions
It's more popular in different cultures where you they actually go into your ear with instruments and it's probably dangerous
Don't do the fire one at home. Oh, yeah
Where they try to use the heat to create lower pressure. Yeah, yeah.
That's a disaster.
That's an accident waiting to happen.
Whatever happened to just a Q-tip?
No, sometimes Q-tips push it in deeper.
We all saw girls, that's what happened.
Yep.
Little hydrogen peroxide in there.
Did you guys see what happened to PK Subban, by the way?
Like, so last week he went to, I guess,
like an ENT or whatever.
He went to like, so he had lodged in his ear
a piece of his headset from game seven
of the Stanley Cup final.
And it was in there eight days before he realized
and they went in and took it out.
It was just a piece came off and was stuck in there
and they had to go and remove it.
He's like, I guess, you know, it felt like
he had lost hearing because of how loud
the arena was or something and then nope,
there was something lodged in there for eight days.
I feel like I would know if something were lodged
inside me for eight days.
One time my earring got stuck inside my earlobe,
pushed it all the way in and it was just in there
and we had to cut open my ear and take the earring out. And it was a long time.
It took you eight days to notice you didn't have the earring on?
It took less than eight days but I was a kid so it took a lot longer for me to tell someone
that my earring was stuck inside my earlobe.
I had an eel bone stuck in my throat once.
What?
Eel bone.
Yeah from sushi. I had to go to urgent care. Anyways, you have a
lot of like tooth and ear stuff I feel like. Yeah. What are you gonna do?
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Don LeBretard.
How do people always go missing in the mountains?
Don't go to the mountains.
And by the way, I don't want to bring racism.
This is the most white people thing ever.
Going missing in the middle of the mountains.
It's the strangest thing.
You go by yourself.
You don't take a radio.
You don't take a phone, you're missing for four days
and they find you like 10 years later covered in snow
and it's like, don't go by yourself.
If you're gonna go on a trail, don't go by yourself.
Stugatz.
Put it on the poll, is it the whitest person thing ever,
I believe is what you called it,
going into the woods by yourself.
Is going into the woods by yourself.
I can't disagree with that.
I mean, so black people don't camp?
Yeah, black people don't hike.
They don't camp.
They don't go out into the woods.
This is the Don LeBathard Show with the StuGards.
My algorithm is iOS 18.
And what is that?
Sweet.
It's like a...
The next version of the phone, right?
It's the next version of the update.
And some movie lists.
You get, hold on, wait, wait, wait.
You get served videos about the next Apple software update.
That's, and so I'm just imagining
that my algorithm is not as amazing.
Are you up to date or are you like very behind
and like, buddy, we're about to be by 18?
No, I'm always up to date.
Okay.
I download it the minute I can.
I'm not a beta person though.
You can-
You're an alpha.
You can, no, but you can use the beta version
of iOS 18 right now.
But I don't wanna do that.
Does anybody have something in their algorithm
that's slightly more interesting than phone updates?
I get a lot of bodybuilders now.
What?
Male or female?
Why?
Male.
They know you're working on your summer butt.
Yeah, yeah, they've overheard me talking about
getting on gear, taking trend.
Oh yeah, we've talked about this.
Dominique, me and you, we should've done a cycle
when we were doing gear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're-
Thanks for including the rest of us.
No idea what you're talking about.
We didn't work together at that point.
This is when we did a show together.
We all did steroids together for a while.
We wanted to be Jack like Dominique.
Yeah.
Did you actually do a cycle together?
Well, according to my algorithm, yes.
Turns out I'm very, very fluent
in how you would use lots of testosterone
and or Tren and or HGH
regimens to get the results that you need and what's jarring to me I guess I
never really thought about this is like how much bodybuilding is entirely
aesthetic yeah like the spray tans I always get the- The tans, it's remark, I'm like,
I guess it's not for me to criticize
how much people love spray tans.
Well you thought people got to like 455 pounds
and jacked for health reasons, not for aesthetic reasons?
But even that it was more about like a functional strength,
it's so entirely like people Photoshopping their bodies.
There's a YouTuber who's really popular, one of the most popular, this is how I got started on this.
This is kid Sam Sulek, who's one of these YouTubers. I don't know if you ever heard of him,
people out there in the world may have. He is one of those popular YouTubers. He's
5'11", approximately 300 pounds maybe, but fully jacked, we've got a photo of him.
And there's this whole conversation on the internet
about like natty or not,
about whether they take steroids or not.
They obviously do, right?
Everybody build or take steroids.
Yeah, I thought so.
You can't be, you can't get that body naturally.
It's like professional wrestling in the 90s, right?
Or maybe still.
Or 2010s.
Some people claim that they don't,
but it makes me think that they're lying to me.
And so I've just been consuming lots of videos
to try and fact check whether any of these guys
are on steroids and my investigation continues.
Your body is exhibit one, mine is exhibit 1A, not steroid.
Huh.
You can't have your body and be on steroids normally.
What is that supposed to mean? You might, look, if you're trying to say Not steroid. Huh. You can't have your body and be on steroids normally.
What is that supposed to mean?
You might, look, if you're trying to say
that my testicles are enormous.
What is going on?
Actually, they shrink on steroids.
That was the point, man.
That was the point.
I'm gonna refer back to Dominique's previous.
Yeah, Dominique.
Let it germinate when it's funny.
Wait, what do I do when it's not funny though? It may not be for you
Like maybe if you don't get it let it go
But if you know that it was like a real not funny joke we can pounce on it and we can make it funny by pointing
I get not funny. So we so we just let it last longer
Yeah, you could leave it there or you could just point out. So how long would you go with Pablo's testicles? Like I would zero zero
So if Pablo Pablo wants to reference his testicles, like a minute? Zero. Zero, so. If Pablo wants to reference his testicles,
just be quiet, because if it was funny,
the people who appreciate it will laugh.
If it's not funny, Pablo's awkward silence,
while we all sit there and say,
why are you talking about your nuts?
That would be funny.
You, on the other hand, trying to correct him
on how to affect the size of testicles not funny. Thank you, Dominic
But the way that you I got that the way that you took to the paper pretty funny. I'm listening
I'm learning he's getting better guys coach him up
I'm coachable David has been maintaining his own junk journal
But it's just the size of people's testicles and and things that you learn in third grade I
Admit that there are things I don't think about.
I'd like to understand how algorithms work, and I don't.
I understand when I buy something
that I'm gonna get more of that thing,
but I don't know how you get a bodybuilding video
or a scary video without you doing something to warrant it.
Before we get to how algorithms work,
I think we need to work on basic human interaction.
That's step one.
We'll get to algorithms later.
Well, I wanna get to algorithms now.
Lucy?
Okay, so basically when you first get a social media account,
it's gonna send you all the different videos,
dancing videos, cooking videos.
It's gonna track if you like them,
if you share them, if you bookmark them,
and how long you watch them.
So if you watch the entirety of a bodybuilder video,
it's gonna track that you're doing that,
and it's gonna feed you more and more,
and it's just gonna keep track
of how long you're watching these videos.
But would you agree then that Pablo
had to have done something with bodybuilding?
Well, yeah, he had to watch the video,
which he's explained that he's already watched the videos.
I think it probably also I'm guessing it probably makes a
like prototype of a person who has similar behavior as you and then sends you videos that people like that people who like these videos
Normally like these videos. I'm sorry talking to David right now in this fashion makes me concerned that this is what like
Joe Biden's cabinet is doing all day.
Oh God.
That's not nice.
Now that you've gone over,
I am happy to have fun as much as you want to
and you can use me as your character.
Do not compare me to what they do for Biden.
Do not call me a Democrat is what he's saying.
If you guys, I'm's saying Your algorithms all remember like in the early YouTube days when they the way the algorithm worked was like you could watch
YouTube's all day long and you would keep feeding you videos
But eventually you'd end up on Gangnam Style like all videos went back to Gangnam Style
Apparently that was like how they designed their algorithm
I don't know
but my Instagram algorithm will go from me watching
a tutorial on how to do nails to like,
Christian, like super Christian videos.
After like three videos, all roads go back
to Christian influencer.
We're talking like Christian McCaffrey Christian,
Olivia Colpo Christian.
No, like Christian the religion, not Christian the McCaffrey.
And she sends every single one of those videos to me. I send them all to Lucy and I just get more.
But before I started doing that,
before I started doing that.
Are they trying to convert you?
I have no idea.
What's the goal of the video?
They're all different.
I don't know how to explain it.
I think we showed one on air once. They're all different though. It's like, this explain it. I think we showed one on Air 1s.
They're all different though.
It's like, this is my life and this is what I do here.
And it's like a bunch of like Christian activities.
I don't know.
You gotta stop sharing those.
They click off them.
Charlie sent me some nonsense about ranch dressing
and I got out of that.
You asked for them.
Because you said they were funny.
And then I watched them.
One of them was funny.
Yeah, it was kind of funny.
And then I started getting stories about people,
so it's about, you can explain it, Charlie.
British people trying ranch for the first time,
and they drop their British accents and say,
ranch, like Americans, when they try it.
It's kind of funny.
All right, the first one was funny.
And then I was like, all right, let's get out of,
it's out of my algorithm now.
I've skipped enough of them that they know
I don't care about the Brits and their ranch.
Speaking of white parties though.
Oh.
My algorithm has also been the white party,
the Michael Rubin white party,
because I've clicked on all of them.
Have you been to it?
No, no David, I'm here with you in the mud.
They-
It's quite a party.
You've been?
So no, I'm one degree away.
I'd like to get zero degrees away,
but I'm one degree away.
I wanna go one time.
That's it.
Just to say that I went.
What's, I'm sorry, what's the degree?
No people who go there.
The Hamptons.
No, I think.
It's in the Hamptons.
I think he's asking who's the person.
Like you said you're one degree away.
Is there a person or what's the like? So there's people in the Hamptons. I think he's asking who's the person. You said you're one degree away. Is there a person or what's the like?
So there's people in the baseball world who go
and then there are the people who work at the party
are the same people who work at my house.
So they take the week.
Maybe you could work it.
Yeah, I was thinking that too.
I could work it.
You talking about like wearing a disguise
construction worker outfit maybe then
like betting with them
No, but there's the construction. There's a load in and a load out. It's it's a very big It's it's an eight-day affair. So loading is six days load out is two days
So you got to be part of the load in crew and then you have to like do inside man it
Well, there's still all of them are on duty the night of the party
No, what he's saying is you sneak in with them
while they're getting ready,
and then you get in a potted plant
and stay there until the party starts.
You make up while wearing white.
You hide behind the wall,
and then day of the party, you break out
while no one's paying attention.
That's a room service cart, you get in there.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's become the party of the summer.
It's become-
Wait, are we talking about the Michael Rubin white party?
I hope so.
I thought we were talking about when the Marlins bad boy drank a bunch of milk, that white party.
That was not a party. I didn't even have a party at that moment. We're talking about the Michael Rubin white party that just happened. It's amazing to me that they didn't play any...
I'm gonna refer back to the notes in David's journal about... The only thing I saw from that come out of that party was the picture of Drake where he looked like very sad
and tired.
Speaking of someone who hadn't slept in a while,
Drake in that photograph.
You know who, Kendrick Lamar has run the best campaign
of the entire summer.
It's been incredible.
And it comes to mind because they didn't play
any Kendrick Lamar at the party
because Drake was there performing.
Which seems impossible to me that you can not play the songrick Lamar at the party because Drake was there performing. Which seems impossible to me
that you cannot play the song of the summer
at what is supposedly the party of the summer.
But I guess you don't wanna disrespect Drake
in that situation, but it made it feel like
as cool as that party and popular as that party is,
Kendrick kinda made it feel wack
by releasing his video on the same day,
dressing in all white while his criticism of Drake
is that he is a white person culturally
who is stealing black culture
while all you famous black celebrities
are at this party dressed in all white.
Kendrick's won the summer, guys.
I wish he could run for president.
Kind of made the white party feel like the live tour.
I agree.
It's sort of like, what did you say?
Oh, okay, there's a whole authoritarian vibe here. I don't know how much you've kept up with the beef but you
would definitely appreciate how methodical and disciplined Kendrick has been from the beginning
of it. Like it seems like every play every move that he's made has been well thought out years to
plan all the way to the pop- out concert to the music video release.
It's just been it's prestige like you got to be willing to cut off your finger.
If you're going to, you got to do everything for the bed.
Speaking of the prestige, we stuff David into a white cake and load it into the
party. The prestige.
What a pop out.
Helen of Troy.
I'm in for whatever we would do, it'd be very good.
I think the better person to go to that party though
would be Stu Gotts.
Him walking around that party.
Somebody mentioned it, you made me think,
someone mentioned this earlier that they like
evaluate people's.
Yeah, I saw a clip, I don't know if it was from this year
or another year, I think he was on part of my take
saying that the end of every year,
they evaluate everyone's performance and they cut 75 people
because there's a 350 person max.
Oh my God.
So every year there's 75 people chopped off.
So,
If that's for the business people.
If that's his white clothes would be stained yellow
by his fingers. Exactly right, terrible.
Well, I feel like as a party participant,
Pablo would be the best of the people that are here.
And Stu probably be pretty good.
I think I'd be among the worst.
Because you would just refuse to actually make small talk.
Oh yeah, I think so.
I mean, I'm just not a party type of guy.
I'm a good time sometimes, but like.
What do you like?
You guys.
Scary videos? You guys. Scary videos.
You guys.
So I think more than anything,
it was small interactions that are genuine,
whereas party, I feel like,
unless you're drunk, it's a lot more performative.
See, this isn't true.
We were in Vegas for the Super Bowl,
and Dominique said he didn't like parties.
Next thing you know, he was tickle fighting Brandon Marshall
at Jason Kelsey's Super Bowl party and didn't want didn't like parties. Next thing you know, he was tickle fighting Brandon Marshall
at Jason Kelsey's Super Bowl party
and didn't want to leave, didn't want to leave.
As I mentioned before.
Who won the tickle fight?
Man, I'm defeated against B Marge,
he couldn't get open against me.
I had two picks against him when we played them
and also plenty of tickle wins.
He's so big and cuddly and I ripped like me.
Can I introduce
Dominique to a new friend after the break?
Howdy y'all it's Mike and since the dawn of mankind we've cooked our food over
an open flame and debated the best way to grill. One thing that is not up for
debate, grilling and beer always go together. Even I know that and I'm not
the manliest American type but I know that if I'm grilling
out there, I need a Miller Lite in my hand.
Why?
Because Miller Lite keeps it simple, undebatable quality, and it tastes as great as my barbecue.
It's a beer that strips away everything that I don't need and holds on to what matters
most.
The light beer with the most taste.
Less filling and only 96 calories.
Nothing says summer like
a Miller Lite. It's the original light beer since 1975 and a perfect companion for all
grill masters or wannabe grill masters across this great land. With a Miller Lite in your
hand, grilling doesn't just taste great, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered
right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere
that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories
per 12 ounces. Don LeBretard. I want to talk to Hannah, the astrophysicist. I want to make bets
with her. She's so smart. Not Ian. No, see, this is what I want to do with our show. No, not, no,
don't let Billy's team of dumb demons
Spew all over the bottom of this company and piss all over the show no still gots Ian broke down
Everyone that was drafted on the offensive line except centers because it gets didn't need one
Let's have Ian go against the astrophysicist head-to-head and let's see let's put some money on it
You're informed idiot or Lucy's actually smart person
who doesn't know anything,
but at least we're gonna choose an astrophysicist
and not Taylor's roommate who's not named Ian.
This is the Don LeVatar Show with the StuGats.
The Stugats
Dominique keeps lobbing very philosophical questions.
They're not for now.
These are like potential fallbacks.
We're about to start the show.
I know.
We already had something to talk about
and then I throw something out because I'm like,
all right, we gotta do a lot of hours for a lot of week.
So let's just have stuff.
You're just chumming the waters.
No, I just gotta feel, give people stuff in the head.
Feel for, this is how you do the show.
You guys don't know how to do this.
I know how to do this.
I'm writing it down in the doc. Exactly, but like you just see what sparks people and then you have it for later
Here's a tricky part is that and you'll find this out throughout the week every day. It's different people
So like you're chumming the water with people who may not be here tomorrow
So if you get a bite then that fish may not be there tomorrow. I got you however
We still have a lot today. So like we're headed we don't into this is it
This is the last segment yeah, we're finished. Yeah time flies
Well in that case
Yeah, this river was not lazy. No it was full of milk. Oh gosh
Yeah, weird river nice job David nice job. Just let us sit there, baby simmered. I
Deserve that boiled why would the river be filled with milk? Nice job, David. Nice job. Just let it sit there, baby. Simmered. I deserve that.
Boiled.
Why would the river be filled with milk?
Please don't become a Samson.
Can I confess how much I watched
the Team USA assembling videos?
Again, algorithmic, I'm now getting served
all of the Team USA content,
and I've been watching all of it.
And part of it just makes me feel like a kid.
Like I don't know if you guys can show this as B-roll,
but it's like watching LeBron dap up Steph.
I watched a lot of it too.
I watched the video of them all trying to spin a basketball.
I watched videos of them practicing.
It was good stuff.
How amazing was it that Steph and LeBron can't spin a basketball with their fingers?
It was shocking.
Well, I missed this one.
Yeah.
So everyone was doing their little isolated photo shoot
sort of things.
And they were asking them social media questions.
And they asked them all, could you spin a basketball?
And Steph was very embarrassed that he could not.
And then there were some other players.
I think it might have been AD who kind of was like, of course, they. And then there were some other players, I think it might've been AD, who kind of was like,
of course, they asked them,
do you think other players can?
And they were like, of course, like,
who can't spit a basketball on their hand?
And Steph can't, LeBron can't.
I just figured that I was beyond being like starstruck
as like a cynical fan of anything.
And I'm like watching these guys enter the room
one after the other, like Kevin Durant.
Kevin Durant has never looked cooler to me
than he is like walking into a ballroom
to meet all of these guys.
If it feels like-
I'm meeting them.
Seeing them you mean?
Like what's the big deal?
They're acting like they've just never spent time together.
Meeting them as in like it's a meeting.
It's so much progress. Hey guys, one step it's a meeting. It's so much progress.
Hey guys, one step at a time.
Now we have gone past the stage where we can give them
new things to work on.
We're at the end of the show, so we got to encourage them now,
guys.
So let's not point out any more Samson mistakes.
So I can't do it, but you can do it.
No, no, no.
I'm done.
I'm done.
It's because you're a woman.
OK.
I don't think Jessica's ever had a problem doing it.
Name's Lucy.
I don't know what's happening anymore and I don't like it.
You're in charge today.
Did you see the video of Embiid flopping against college kids?
I don't like this either.
Seriously, because you're so taken by this scene.
It's a good question.
I hope they don't have that video.
Do you watch this video of them getting together like,
man, I wonder if they can win the gold?
Do you think Embiid can getting together like, man, I wonder if they can win the gold.
Do you think, do you think it'd be a chance
to sit out if they play Serbia?
Okay.
Do you think Giannis is upset he's not in that room?
Oh man.
I saw him crying after Greece made it.
I think he was crying after they made it.
There was a, it was them in Slovenia.
Yeah, they beat Luka.
And it was, Winter gets in basically.
That brings up an interesting question.
Do you think these guys would rather be the one guy on the team like Janis or rather be
on this essentially another dream team where you are a piece of the puzzle?
So I think that being on this specific team does feel special because the people who are
on it are actually like the best special because the people who are on it are actually
like the best players in the league who are American.
So to me, there is something that makes me,
again, kind of childlike about like,
I can't believe Anthony Edwards and LeBron and Steph
and KD and Joel Embiid and Kawhi Leonard
and all these guys are together.
Kevin Durant.
Kevin Durant.
Don't leave him out. Don't leave's in there too. Kevin Durant's giving
interviews now. It just feels like Team USA for people who don't know, like every
four years it's not just about are they gonna win the gold medal as Billy was
insultingly characterizing it. It's also that you get inside of this
network where again in past years this is where off-season stuff
has really come to pass.
This is where super teams had been formed.
This is where friendships are made that reshaped the league.
And I think that Team USA at its best,
in an era when it's actually unclear whether
the gap between Team USA and the second best team,
how big that even is anymore.
I think it all adds to this level of
something special is happening,
which I again am indulging fully.
I'm really into this Olympic team.
I think Giannis has more appreciation
and more emotion for Greece than anybody
in that room has for the US.
He wants to win.
If he can get something accomplished
as the only guy quote unquote for his country,
it would be so meaningful versus going in as the dream team.
It's like is the dream team in 92, they were gonna win.
They won, it was expected.
That can never feel as good
as when you're not supposed to win.
Yeah, I mean, I think you said in this room now
is different than on the podium when they get medals.
So like on the podium, I think that yeah, you honest if you honest wins a gold silver bronze
He's gonna be happier than any
Any of the US players no matter what medal they win but emotion tied to it
I'm not sure that I would differentiate see to me. It's also David
It's about making this team because this is like the team. This isn't like prior Olympic teams
This is four of the 20 best players
Yes ever Steph has never been on Olympic before LeBron and Steph the most you know
influential players of the generation Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard
Those are that's the Mount Rushmore of the last 15 years of the NBA
and so if you're Anthony Edwards if you're Tyrese Halliburton getting to play with them is
incredibly meaningful even if it's's not about winning the medal for.
Steph Curry never was on a team because he was hurt,
didn't want to be, because he didn't make one.
I assume that was the first.
Has to be the first two.
Will be my guess.
So this is the first time he's been healthy enough to play?
It's still a significant thing,
no matter the reason why you haven't done it before,
significant that this is the first time that you're doing it.
And this team is different than I think last year,
or last year, last Olympics team had some guys on it
that were playing a role that were not like greatest
of all time.
It's like, there are only guys on this team right now
are in that great conversation or about to be.
Also the last summer Olympics was so weird
because of COVID and there were like no fans there
and a lot of people were sick and missed it
at the last minute. And it was just such a cluster
that I'm like really, really excited
for the Summer Olympics because it feels like
the first like full Olympic cycle
that we've had in like eight years.
Except for the swimming part.
Why?
No one's read about the sand and the shit in the sand.
Oh, we talked about it a couple weeks ago, yes.
There was gonna be a poop protest.
It failed the, wow.
So they failed a couple days ago, yes, there was gonna be a poop protest. It failed the, wow. So they failed a couple days ago,
so now they're making alternate plans
for the marathon swim and the triathlon,
including making the triathlon a duath,
do, a, a, a, a, a.
Dicathlon?
No, a duathlon.
A duathlon.
A diathlon?
Oh!
That's the word.
It very well could be that, but I think it's duo.
I think it starts with duo,
but just getting rid of the swim and the triathlon,
which is insane, just making it the bike and the run,
and the billions of dollars that France has spent
to get, to clean up the Seine,
it's been wasted, pun intended.
A biathlon is a winter sport that combines cross-country
skiing and rifle shooting.
Oh, no, not that.
Right, right, right.
Not doing that in the river.
No.
So I think it is duathlon.
Kelden Johnson was on the 2020-21 US Men's Olympic Team,
just FYI.
Every, not every time, but there are quite a few Olympic events
that I look up.
And I heard you guys talking about steeplechase before, duathlon is another example
of it where you're like, man, should this be an Olympic
event, but it makes me feel better about adding things
like break dancing, where it's like, this is weird,
but then I look and it's like, hey, they're out here
doing all this other foolishness, why can't we do a little,
throw out some cardboard and get busy and get a medal for it?
What about twirling? How do you feel a medal for it? What about twirling?
How do you feel about twirling?
What's twirling?
I have a quick twirling story.
Like baton twirling.
Yes.
My friend did it growing up, it's insane.
It's super hard.
They do it while the thing's on fire,
I don't understand it.
I was playing pickleball indoors and next to me
there were two people training for the twirling
championships in Sweden and they're trying to get twirling into the Olympics
in eight years.
And so they're making a big twirl push
and the way they practice the twirling,
they're throwing this thing up in the air
and it's the highest indoor ceiling in Long Island.
Speaking of hitting the ceiling of this particular show,
joining us now over Zoom is Brad.
Whoa!
We did it!
Brad!
Brad, welcome to the show.
David Sampson is sitting next to me.
We've been investigating a story that...
You look great, man.
I wonder how much you recall about.
The story of you paying $500 to a former, now former
Marlins bat boy and him barfing very white barf all over the clubhouse, I suppose.
Yeah, I just, I was shocked.
I mean, David laid the hammer on that poor kid.
At that point, it was, let me think, it was 10 games for steroids and how long for milk, Samson?
Six games, Brad.
Six games that poor kid is.
You sure that's all that was?
No, it was forever.
Are you laughing?
It was, it was a lot more than six games.
Man, you look great.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
How you guys doing? Good to see you.
It's good, great to see you.
Way to change the subject.
So did you agree with David Samson's decision to eliminate you. It's good, great to see you. Way to change the subject. So did you agree with David Sampson's decision
to eliminate this poor guy's pension
over a little bit of a little milk vomit?
Absolutely not.
Not even, I mean, the kid still did his job.
He did throw up, but then he moved on
and did everything he was supposed to do that day
and he didn't miss any work.
So no, I didn't agree with it. Brad Brad did you supplement his income once he was let go?
Because you felt badly? Not his responsibility. I think we all we all
kicked in quite a bit yeah he probably he probably was was way better off.
How much did David Samson kick in? He actually he actually might have find the kid and taken some of that pot from him.
Brad, did you know that David also uh, fired and eliminated the pension of his brother?
We learned that from Nick. Of who? Nick's brother. Oh, so he got both of them for the milk. Two for one, yeah. Yeah.
Wow, that sounds like something David would do though. I mean, you know that risk when you're,
when you work for him, right David? Every day is a new day, Brad. You could be with us, you could
be traded, you could win a ring, you just never know. That is, that is true. I'll never forget
when I got traded, guys, you'll love this.
I went in there and it was right after we won the World Series
that we kind of, as a team, we talked and I went in,
I think it was Mike at the time, maybe Mike Hill.
I went in there and said I would take a discount
if we could keep this team together.
And literally within a week I was gone.
Wait, we just argued about taking discounts
with LeBron James
earlier in the show. David was on the other side of that argument. David on the other side of the argument and of course. Brad in all of our years together
never once have I heard you utter the words I would take a discount. You calling this man a liar?
100% true. Who did you want us to keep? You wanted Pudge back? Like what? No, no, no.
Just the core group.
Just us, you know, me and Josh and those guys.
I think it was Mike.
I talked to Mike and I said,
here's what I'll take to stay.
And I mean, I'm actually worked out better for me
because I got about double what I would have stayed for.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
By the way, judging on where you're at,
I just would like to say things worked out very well for you, Mr. Penny.
Yeah, for people not watching.
He seems to be patrolling in a state of some sort,
which looks beautiful.
I'm trying to, I got four kids,
so I'm trying to find a spot where
I could possibly not be interrupted.
How did you settle on $500 as the amount of money
you would pay Nick Cirillo if he did not barf milk
all over the clubhouse? So it was just a bet and it had been going on you know for a little bit
we said we give you it was me actually I said Nick I'll give you 500 bucks if you can drink
this milk and keep it down for an hour and I mean it took him to the very last minute to get it down. And I mean, it was hilarious.
It was like a stream.
I can't even explain to you how hard he threw up.
Please try.
I mean, I can't.
I mean, it was a good, and it was in the-
What kind of exit velocity are we talking on that?
Oh, big time, big time big time?
I mean it was I've never seen anything like it unless it was on unlike the exorcist movie. Yeah, Lodge angle
How many it was unbelievable?
How many heaves of the two three heaves well, it's just one long string
You could have died just on a side note never mentioned thought he would die. He could have died. Just on a side note, never mentioned before
is the fact that he could have died.
Could have.
No, he was fine, dude.
I mean, everybody could die.
You think the $500 may have come from your per diems?
I don't know.
I know this, I know.
You were so concerned about that kid dying, you fired him.
Exactly right.
I'm a good guy.
I don't want anyone to die on my watch.
Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.
Die on your own time.
Oh, David.
Brad.
That was the Brad.
I can't believe it.
Has anyone successfully,
I'm trying to find out the answer to this question.
Has anyone ever successfully chugged a gallon of milk
inside of an hour and not vomited?
Not on my watch.
I've done it several times and no one has passed that test.
What?
You did it more in your career or since you retired?
Don't tell who you did it
because David will go find them and try to fire them.
As a Marlin? When you were a Marlin you did it again?
Nope, I did it at other organizations.
Got it.
Good answer, Brad.
And I assume that's true.
I wasn't even on the Marlins when I did it the first time. I was with the Dodgers.
I was in the visiting club house.
Did anybody get fired for that time?
That was the time... The time with the... The niggas got fired. I was in a visiting clubhouse. Did anybody get fired for that time?
That was the time.
The time with him he was visiting.
Oh, that was the time, okay.
I would have done it as a Marlin,
but I thought I'd get released.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
Who would ever do that?
I would only have done that if he.
I would never do that.
Working for Samson, I knew that I better wait
so I get traded.
Brad, before we let you go,
what is your favorite ride at Disney World?
At Disney World, I do go a lot. I got a lot of kids. Man, I don't know. It's been a while since
I've been there. We usually go to, you know, I like the Tower of Terror. Oh yeah, that's a good one.
Guardians of the Galaxy. Brad, thank you. You got it, man. No problem.
Brad, Penny, thank you for completing our investigation.
It's so good to see you.
We can all rest now that the truth has been found.
The Tower of Terror, also known as David Sampson's office.
Howdy, y'all.
It's Mike.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill. One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together. And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
Even I know that, and I'm not the manliest American type, but I know that if I'm grilling out there,
I need a Miller Lite in my hand. Why? Because Miller Lite keeps it simple,
undebatable quality, and it tastes as great as my barbecue.
It's a beer that strips away everything that I don't need
and holds on to what matters most,
the light beer with the most taste.
Less filling and only 96 calories.
Nothing says summer like a Miller Lite.
It's the original light beer since 1975
and a perfect companion for all grill masters
or wannabe grill masters across this great land.
With a Miller Lite in your hand,
grilling doesn't just taste great, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to
your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.