The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Throwing Mike Greenberg In Jail

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

The hour starts with a video of Demetrius Johnson taking down a guy much larger than him in a martial arts fight, and the crew discusses how savage the early days of UFC were. GREG COTE HAS A BACK IN ...MY DAY! Amin's dad watches the show and the crew discusses which of their parents pay attention as well, including Wild Bill Cote. Then, the crew talks about Caleb Williams' appearance at a USC women's basketball game. Plus, Mike Greenberg had what the show is calling the worst basketball take in the history of basketball takes, so bad that the show believes he should be thrown in jail. How would he fare? Dan thinks not well. Finally, the Celtics blew a 30-point lead and Amin made a hilarious commercial about his terrible jump shot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:40 Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly. This is the Dan Lebatore Show with the StuGuts Podcast. I have to handle some family matters, some personal family matters that are soon going to take me out of the show for a little bit. And I don't want to do it before getting to a handful of things. I want to replenish myself with the medicine of what is good content around here before I leave. And I want to ask you, Greg Cody, to help me with this because we have some video of this is Mighty Mouse, right? Demetrius Johnson. And I want to tell the people who don't who might not understand the fighting game that if the fighting game were fair and just instead of I don't know Jake Paul or Mike Tyson
Starting point is 00:01:29 or anybody getting the money Mighty Mouse pound for pound you can make the argument is the greatest fighter we've ever seen anywhere in the world because he's tiny and it doesn't make any sense that no one can ever hurt him and there are more ways to hurt him than there were to hurt Floyd Mayweather. It's a bit crazy. And so Tony you can speak to this better than me But this video is in no way surprising to me because Demetrius Johnson Mighty Mouse would kick everybody's ass who's in front of him no matter their size or weight But I think this might be surprising to people this video Yeah
Starting point is 00:02:00 so what it is is this is actually an open weight class jiu jujitsu competition that Mighty Mouse is a part of and Mighty Mouse has competed about a 135 Bantam weight for basically his entire career and the guy that he's fighting as you can see on screen is 6'3 250 some odd pounds so would be basically a heavyweight versus a Bantam weight in a open jujitsu match and it takes so this this video Is actually about six to seven minutes long and for the first five minutes It's mighty mouse trying to figure out exactly where to get this guy down and the guys ragdolling him throwing them around throwing around The mighty mouse finally gets him on the floor Climbs on him like a you could see here like I don't even know what what he's doing here
Starting point is 00:02:39 It's incredible to see a guy that size and mighty mouse is 38 So like he's towards the tail end of his fighting career still being able to do stuff like this is incredible one of the ways uh... that jake paul has been so smart about reinventing how you make money in that game is that once upon a time you could have made the argument anderson silva was the best pound for pound in the history of the sport so when jake paul beats and it seems like he's beating somebody who's credible and
Starting point is 00:03:07 legitimate but he was never known for his boxing prowess i mean he was he could also strike right by that by that sports standard but he was also an incredible kickbox he was a strike he could be a striker but he wasn't a boxer and he wasn't a boxer and he and he had punching power but he didn't have a boxer's punching power and he was close power, but he didn't have a boxer's punching power. And he was close to 50. Now Mike Tyson is 57. But this is what I've always liked about them. I love the only fans on mighty mouse's GEE by the way.
Starting point is 00:03:34 We actually spoke to mighty mouse. You can go check that out on our YouTube page. And he was talking about his only fans, how he trains. He kind of basically puts everything behind a paywall of how he trains, how he eats, the things that he gets ready for. And it's probably on that. This is like a sports bar discussion.
Starting point is 00:03:48 If you just totally overlook the fact that they're both Brown belts, this is like, it's one thing. If mighty mouse can take down a 250 pounds, six foot three dude, and you'd probably have like arguments in sports bars or barbershops that he's just good because look at him, he's small, but if he gets up against a real big tough guy he's done according to that sport they are the same level. And it opens almost the conversation of that we always have with fighters hey how long would it take you to do X to X person and Mighty Mouse it's like oh I'm five seven 135 pounds
Starting point is 00:04:21 and I'll beat a guy that's six three two fifty in about seven minutes. Oh Oh, but do you guys know, do you understand here, this one has hurt me, like it's actually hurt because Mike got a lot of flack for being the guy who was finally out on the Cleveland Browns because come on, we can't be that despicable. Not that despicable. What I've always loved about, never mind UFC, mixed martial arts, when I was watching it, when the way they would do it is some guy was coming to the octagon and he was carrying an actual crucifix, a giant, the stupidity of it was so heavy. And he was gassed by the time that he got to the octagon. But I've loved sort of the dirty elements of,
Starting point is 00:04:57 oh, we're gonna test the Brazilian martial arts. We're gonna test the Gracie family in the sewer? Oh, that was, look, I have learned a lot. But as an impressionable teenager, the open weight early days of the ultimate fighting championship. The guy wearing shoes. Where it was, yes, it was mixed martial arts
Starting point is 00:05:13 in that you had all these different disciplines combining into one competition. But if you were, like I practiced kempo karate at the time, if you were pounding the table for your discipline, you actually got to see these fights play out. A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu against a standup Kempo Karate fighter.
Starting point is 00:05:31 There was this Canadian that was just a wet blanket of Kempo Karate skill that would get in the way of dream matchups. And you had wrestling backgrounds like Ken Shamrock go in and you legitimately had dream matchups of different styles and then the sport evolved to the point that You needed in order to get anywhere in that sport. You needed to know all the martial arts Mixed when we just saw put something on screen if we could put that b-roll again of like early days in the UFC where a guy
Starting point is 00:05:57 Is wearing shoes running out there and a guy with a key who obviously knows Brazilian jiu-jitsu funny You talk about crucifix the guy puts him in a crucifix, hits him with three elbows and it was over. Well they will be able to find, go ahead and find for me the most primitive of whoever that guy was. I don't even think he was a good fighter, but what I'm telling you about what I've always loved about that sport and the heartbreaking parts
Starting point is 00:06:16 of letting it go, because I've had to let it go. And I love the arts tested against each other. And if you go back to that- You've let the sport go, huh? You can come back and let me hang out anytime you want. You know there's an open invitation for you, Dan, right? I've got my virtues. I signal them from time to time.
Starting point is 00:06:31 It's hard to let it go. I still can't quit this sport. I have so many issues with it. UFC, biggest game in town, total monopoly over this sport. And they have fights that I'll overlook things that I can't overlook in my day-to-day life because I just find a way to put it in a silo. Dan when Mike went when Sean O'Malley hit Cheeto Vero with that knee that sounded like a baseball back crack
Starting point is 00:06:54 and Cheeto didn't even fall he just moved his head back and put it back up like that was incredible. I am telling you, the guys are always making fun of me about how much I love boxing. I'm fighting expert, alleged fighting expert. It's like the one thing I care about in terms of the beauty of sports. Wait a minute. You were on the foreman beat. Wait a minute, you're going to tell me that I can test all the fighting styles against each other for baddest man on the planet and the earliest incarnations of this sport?
Starting point is 00:07:23 They had so many fewer rules about safety. It was the most savage thing. Nevermind John McCain calling it cockfighting. Before that, it was the most primitive. It was dogfighting for humans. It felt like it should have been illegal. It should have been illegal. And they fixed the sport, thankfully,
Starting point is 00:07:40 to where it's a lot safer for what it is. Introduction of more weight classes being the biggest possible thing for that sport. But Demetrius Johnson is just that good. He's an absolute badass. And the way that you see his career, he's moved from the UFC, he's now in one championship over in Asia.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Which has affected his legacy because he's not in the main show. I mean, he was for a good amount of time. No, but wait a minute. What affects his legacy is we're only going to respect you so much, the world, if you're a buck 30. Like we're not going to actually make you baddest man in the world if you weigh 130 pounds. I just saw Conor McGregor get a starring role. Like the UFC will do that. And I just saw Floyd Mayweather buy the whole Gucci store. So I not sure. Yeah it's the one championship versus the UFC like it him not getting along with Dana has hurt
Starting point is 00:08:30 his name from being brought up consistently in these conversations. I understand what you're saying about Floyd because obviously he made a lot of money and he did it the most amazing way undented playing defense in the fighting game like it's ridiculous to the point of it to not get hit and he made all that money doing that but we will only respect you so much as a fighter unless you're in Ghana the thing we respect the most is can you knock someone out with one strike not not are you the best grappler in the world? Ken, with one strike you fell any person. That's where Mighty Mouse suffers from. You've got to have some size on you to have the amount of menace that this requires to be the baddest man in the world. The Mike Tyson type. And funny now,
Starting point is 00:09:18 you look at it. Anthony Joshua knocks out Francis Zingato three times in a row, knocks him out of the canvas, knocks him out cold. Francis Zingato said in the second round he had no idea he was fighting. He was just kind of standing there like oh wait I'm in the fight and we've always talked about Anthony Joshua have been like a great boxer but kind of never really takes that next step to be best of the world and it feels like you look at Francis Zinganu who took Tyson Fury to the judge's scorecards and It's like man you look at those guys how big they are and it's it's impressive where you look at Mighty Mouse and you see him do something against a guy six three, you know 250 pounds. You're like, oh, that's cute That kind of thing said Lewis
Starting point is 00:09:59 Louis just said that kind of thing The segment needed an ending and Lewis is just saying that the best ending would have been Just you going that that kind of thing We were out of time it just That would have been perfect Hey, it's Mike and First off let me thank you a lot of people have hit me up privately curious about my fishtail palms
Starting point is 00:10:24 And I just got some landscaping done and let me tell you, they've never looked better. I've got light shining on them and now every night I go outside, sit on my patio, look at my fishtail palms and drink some Miller Lite. Yeah, a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day, it's still the best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want, and less of the stuff that you don't.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Oh, sitting outside with my family, letting the music play, and sipping Miller Lite. That is the good stuff folks. That is what life's about. Times change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Lite. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12 ounces.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Don LeBretard. I miss crank windows. Too many unnecessary conveniences now, cruise control. Please, I've got cruise control built in. It's called my right foot. It controls how fast the car goes. No button or steering wheel lever needed. Power steering.
Starting point is 00:11:34 There's another one. Why do I want to give my power to the car? The power that I once had. The car is a ton of metal. I'm a damn college graduate. Stugats. Bluetooth. HD radio. Satellite. I'm a damn college graduate. Stugats. Bluetooth, HD radio, satellite. I'll take AM please with Wolfman Jack talking through the static
Starting point is 00:11:52 and I'll crank the windows down so everybody can hear. I'm Greg Cody and that's how it was back in my day. This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stugats. Amin's back. I am grateful for his presence. Oddball every day except for Monday. Oddball is, oh, I love that commercial you did. I mean, Oddball, I can feel it getting stronger and stronger. Yes, it's only a matter of time.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Jesus. And then we get bigger. I'm waiting for you to be a bigger oddball. I am, I am. I want bigger balls around here in general. There is something though. Oddball is positively throbbing right now. And you know it.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Caleb, Caleb. Put a little of my material. Caleb Williams, we could have used it at the end of the last segment. We could have used a stray and you know it as Tony lost track of the clock and just started talking about mixed martial arts in a way that was too serious back in my day today is there back in my day there is actually
Starting point is 00:12:59 it's a Tuesday I don't understand we've got to do that there was also I got to get to Caleb Williams there's news breaking with Caleb Williams I've got to get to Greg Cody is mad at Tim Kirkshin and me because Tim Kirkshin's podcast with his son Just got so much promotion Seriously, I mean the Greg Cody show with Greg Cody and Chris Cody Invented the father and son podcast and then yet I can't get a shout out on this show. I mean, I'm sitting right here. He's got a point. Mark Jackson has a podcast with his son now. It's all the rage now. Father Son podcast. Where are my Ruralty checks at? Okay. He's mad at Tim Kershaw. We'll get to that
Starting point is 00:13:35 in just a second. We've got to update our March Sadness Tournament as well. But I was hugely surprised and I don't know the discomforts of this. Juju, are you surprised in any way that Amin's father watches this show and Amin's an adult he's a front office person. Look at Billy yawning right there. Our parents nobody here, our parents here do not watch what we're doing here. Amin with a grandfathered aged parent who I don't know why he would be watching this show or his son at all and I certainly can't see him understanding what you're doing here throwing away your career. Oh, wouldn't he be a father aged father?
Starting point is 00:14:14 No, he's grandfather aged. Really? No, Greg's right. Thank you. But my guess is how old is your dad? My dad's about your dad's age So he's almost 80. Yeah, that's a dad's age, too Yeah, he's still dad. Yeah, we got to be it's kind of a pre-rectangular
Starting point is 00:14:31 Why don't you just say the age rather than just confuse me cuz got a grandfather's can be very young these days Because I mean even though sometimes he sounds like a child is an old person and his father is much older Just reveal the age Kurt Russell's playing 93 year olds out here. Sounds like a child. That sounds like a blast. I'm just saying, when you go to the All-Star game and get drunk and don't produce any footage, some people can say that's the behavior.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Well don't say that now. He listens to the show, Dan. Does he watch the show only when you're on or every day? So this is what happened. I was, I was, only, I love the old guy. Only on Tuesdays. I love Cody and his back in my day.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Thank you. Billy, my dad, and I don't know if your dad is of this age, but my dad is of the age where he watches YouTube videos on his phone very loudly. My dad's not 80. Okay, my dad is at that age, right, where everything he watches is full blast. And so I hear it, sometimes it's and sometimes it's it's soccer highlights and sometimes
Starting point is 00:15:28 it's something a little funny skit or whatever so I'm listening one day and I might huh these voices sound real familiar what what's he listening to and then I realized oh shit he's listening to us on a day when you weren't there on a day when I wasn't there but then I thought maybe it's just one of those videos right so then The other day says oh, they really made fun of you about that shot, huh, and I said What are you talking about father? He's like because I thought maybe just maybe he just caught it off like Facebook or something like that
Starting point is 00:16:00 He's like yeah, Dan and those guys they were really getting into you on that. I was like oh You watch the show now. Is this a thing so now Now we have to be careful. Yeah, CeeLo Green became a grandfather at the age of 35 My mommy watches this show especially every well she watches it when I'm on it, but yeah, my dad's the same Yeah, yeah, my father would be 108 I'm just saying would he watch this? Yeah, what dad's the same. My father would be 108, I'm just saying. Would he watch the show? Yeah, would he watch the show?
Starting point is 00:16:27 He would, he is right now. From heaven. Kiefer Sutherland was under 40. What? Wow. I was nominated and I achieved the 40 Under 40 Award with help from Roy Bellamy this year. Wow, congrats.
Starting point is 00:16:39 I didn't have a big deal about it, but since we're talking about 40s. 40 Under 40? No, that's pretty big. Again, your mom must be real proud. Yes sir, thank you so much. My dad is not, because I haven't been nominated for shit other than sues.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I was at church the other day and the priest said that he baptized someone and baptized their grandparents. I immediately turned to someone and said next to me, oh, he's lying. It just seems impossible. In the church. I did say it in the church.
Starting point is 00:17:05 If anything, it seems like a good place to be forgiven. But like, come on. That's efficient. That was a whopper, right? That's a place where you're efficient? Yeah. Hold on, is that the best place to lie? Oh yeah, if you're gonna murder someone,
Starting point is 00:17:15 do it right before you go to confession. Because then it's just like, turn around, right here. Obsolete. Was it father ready? No, that's a whole nother. It is allegedly. I'm not sure that Juju can, you're talking about being efficient in how it is you sin
Starting point is 00:17:30 so that you can sin quickly and get it immediately absolved. So just do it in the confessional box. Speaking of efficiency, we haven't gotten to any of the topics you were crunched for time on. Thank you, Juju, I appreciate it. But one of them was his dad watches the show because I'm confused by it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 But let's get to Greg Cody's Back in My Day because I didn't even know we had one of those. And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane. Here's your guide, Greg Cody with Back in My Day. Shit, that helped my ass. Okay, here it is. Adultery! We are back! We're waiting for this one!
Starting point is 00:18:17 Wait, wait, wait, wait. By accident what just happened, I think that's the record. Roy for years has been counting the amount of time that he pregnant pauses there That was the record because he was looking for his paper because he was surprised that he has a back in my bed I got a lot of papers here. I'm a busy man adultery First an important disclaimer this back of my day is absolutely not an essay born of personal experience And if it were what was the chance I'd actually admit it on a national podcast Okay, let's be honest about something inherently dishonest
Starting point is 00:18:49 adultery Infidelity cheating whatever you want to call it was so much easier back before Technology came along and ruined everything or rather so I'd imagine the clandestine Casanovas would lament Cheating was easy once you just had to make sure you weren't doing it around friends, neighbors, or co-workers. So if you lived in Mayberry, the two of you drove up to Mount Pilot, got a corner booth at the bar, then a room at the Notel Motel, and called it a night. You were blessedly incommunicado. There were no cell phones allowing any busybody's snoop to record or photograph you.
Starting point is 00:19:23 You were completely out of touch until you dropped a dime in a payphone. There was no CCTV closed-circuit cameras spying on every movement you made. No facial ID technology. No TMZ with hired spies around every corner. No social media splaying wide everyone's personal life. Now every text message and voicemail exchange is retrievable. You think delete search history actually does that? Ha ha, your naivete is so cute.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Back in my day you wrote a fake name in the motel guest book, the board clerk said you're in room nine Dr. McGillicutty, and you went on your merry way. Now there'd be an unblinking ring camera above the door ratting on you. It isn't just relationship cheats who have it tough these days. How the heck do criminals get away with anything? Snatch somebody's purse on a city street and see how fast the cops shout out closed-circuit images of you in the act all across social media with close-ups, nine different angles, and slow motion. You think that old-timey ski mask works? There's technology to unmask you now. The day is coming when we will all have a
Starting point is 00:20:29 computer chip in our noggin allowing the law to trace and catalog our every step. The cell phone in your pocket is doing the same thing today, bugling your whereabouts 24-7. Modern-day debauchers and letharios have only two choices. You either give up your cheating ways or you hopelessly bemoan technology and understand that today a smartphone would be pinging your exact location in that dark corner booth as you swing your third Manhattan. I'm Greg Cody and that's how it was back in my day. The Notel Motel, is that a Greg Cody originalel is that a greg cody original or is that that's on t-shirts
Starting point is 00:21:07 uh... beginning today in the great cody merch store a it's all interconnected now the no tell motel is uh... is unknown entity yet that that's that's a thing that people from your day the adulterous people from your day would talk about the other thing that i should leave the little tell it's a motor lodge the motor lodge with the shuffleboard cord out front. Ah. Do you guys know what was most back in my day
Starting point is 00:21:30 about that entire thing? Because I don't think he caught that. I did not realize. Bugling? All right, there's a bugle. I've never heard the word bugle used besides the scrapping jeans. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Bugle boy. Greg Cody remembering a time where there was a payphone that you put ten cents into? Yes, that's true. I'm not familiar with that payphone. That payphone, I did not know it existed in this country, a payphone that took merely ten cents. I remember when you could put a dime in a payphone.
Starting point is 00:22:01 That's right. And if you were making a long distance call, the operator would interrupt the call to tell you you had to deposit more money. More money. Yeah. Oh, I remember Carrot Top had a commercial call, 1-800-Collect, where you didn't even need no money. You just dial 1-800-Collect, and you charged a hell
Starting point is 00:22:16 out of whoever you called. I just realized the concept of collect calls for a certain generation. 10-10-3-2-1. Yeah. Must blow the alarm. What am I collecting? What are they collecting? Besides money, that's it? Money. 1-800-Coll-2-1. Must blow the... What am I collecting? What are they collecting?
Starting point is 00:22:25 Besides money, that's it? Money. 1-800-collect. This is how it works, Tony. You pick up the phone. You don't have any money. You call 1-800-collect. They say, what number are you trying to reach?
Starting point is 00:22:34 I'm trying to reach 555, whatever, whatever, right? Then they say, you say your name, and you say, hey, this is Tony. And then the person on the other end would have to accept the charges for the call. It's like a prison call. to accept the charges for the call. It's like a prison call. Yes, but here was the trick. Or you say, Bob had a baby, it's a boy. There you go.
Starting point is 00:22:51 You just say, what's your name? And you just say, and then you just hang up. So then somebody else would be on another payphone somewhere? No, like you'd be calling someone's house. House, OK. Come hit me up at school. Yep, there you go. Can you guys find for me that Carr carrot top commercial? Let's just play it
Starting point is 00:23:07 Unwatched unedited just play as fast as you can the entirety of that carrot top commercial so we could see what I mean It's talking about us 1-800-call-a-teacher. Young carrot top. Oh my god. Look at the life in his face. He's an age today That's not true you guys thought he was on a bender in Las Vegas. This is before he hit the gym. Whoa. Whoa. In confidence. I didn't tell him. In confidence. Who wasn't by the way? What happened with Caleb Williams? The internet is, he was at a women's tournament game and he flashed his painted nails and his phone case and people are saying it appears like he's wearing lipstick and you know, the internet's having a go at him. The first mention is man,
Starting point is 00:23:51 Colin Coward's about to eff this guy up tomorrow. Salute to Caleb, I'm proud of you. You know what I mean, I like it. Don't, man. You know? It's like a very, like a Russell Brand type of motif. Look at him, Living his life. It's a little young brother.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Russell Brand, huh? You know, I would just say this right now. That's Look At Me, Louie behavior. Like, I'm going to a women's game. What should I wear? Lipstick and pink nails, of course, and a pink phone case. Look at me, Louie. That's Monty Williams, the original Look At Me, Louie.
Starting point is 00:24:24 You think that's Monty Williams behavior? That's Monty Williams the original look at me Louie you think that's Monty Williams behavior, that's solidarity Don LeBowtard You got to know I'm a big Colombo guy salute to that boy I don't think that is evidence salute to said salute. I don't think that is evidence. Salute to that boy. It suggests camouflage. It suggests that Juju has no idea what we're talking about. And now he's just Googling it. Stu gots. I'm not Googling it. My grandmama stayed in the country.
Starting point is 00:24:56 I watched The Braves. I watched Columbo. I watched Matlock. I watched Andy Griffin. Yeah, classic. You said that you go to the pill in the box. Damn. Damn take your ass to the pill in the box.
Starting point is 00:25:05 You tell a juju. How do you need a liar? You tell a juju. Back to you Stu. This is the Don LeBathardt Show with the Stu Guards. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] In real life I love this person. You know, what can I tell you?
Starting point is 00:25:26 Unbelievable. What? Phony you are. Zincadne. What a phony. Block Zincadne. You notice I have my podcast logo positioned. Cone Sierge.
Starting point is 00:25:37 The cameraman. Cone Sierge. You are just a self-involved. Can I have that choppy chop concierge, please? I have trouble with that word, and I never say maestro. I say it maestro. I say it in Spanish. No, but it's in Spanish.
Starting point is 00:25:54 I'm pronouncing it in Spanish. Yeah, you also pronounce the government entity that puts things in outer space after a city in the Bahamas. That is true. Amin has left. That's all. Amin has left mid-segment. I don't know where he's running off to.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Maybe it's. That looked like the walk of, you know. He had to go to the bathroom. I'll let you know. I'm gonna chat with him. I'll let you know what happened. All right, we will get back. Did he eat food that was sharp?
Starting point is 00:26:14 All right, you guys have been. Sharp? He took the under on his own. That's one way to put it. Minotaur. Man, this food is sharp. Did he penguin walk out of here? Was it too flavorful, the food that he had?
Starting point is 00:26:25 His hair looks small. Dancing swords, as some would say. Thank you, Billy. Thank, why are you taking credit for dancing swords? He invented that. I invented dancing swords. Yeah, he invented it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Why don't you go ahead and tell people what dancing swords are, and you didn't invent it. You're claiming that you invented the phrase dancing swords? Yeah, in the context of bowel movements mm-hmm right can't believe that you've invented it's ready oh jiu-jitsu's got a he might be going to take a QK exactly another one I mean magic trick that was a super QK all right I mean why did you have to leave and while we're waiting for you, explain what dancing swords are, Greg Cody.
Starting point is 00:27:07 You claim to have invented this. This is ridiculous. I invented dancing swords in the context of bowel movements. What happens is when your innards are gurgling to the point where you know something's about to come out like a jet stream and you gotta sit on and do it on the Ring of Honor. Like when you're walking up a ladder
Starting point is 00:27:23 and you feel something splatter. Yeah, thank you. Or the parlay unders, which you're trying to hit. Right, those are dancing swords. Is that what happened to me, or did you just leave because you didn't know we were on the air? I left because we didn't know we were on the air. Okay, why did Juju leave?
Starting point is 00:27:37 Dancing swords? I don't know, he's back. Okay, very good. Let's continue on with the show because I've got... March Sadness. We're going to get to March Sadness in a second, but you guys have been promising me that Greenie had an awful basketball take and no one shared it with me. In fact, one of you was claiming it's the worst take in the history of basketball takes
Starting point is 00:27:55 and I thought maybe with a mean here we could we can get some commentary that would explain stuff better than we can explain it. Mike Greenberg, because I guess he was paying attention to the NCAA tournament because Northwestern was playing in it, had the take that if UConn, University of Connecticut, was playing in the NBA's Eastern Conference, they would make the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Wow. Oh my God. Get him out of here. You should be, some of this stuff should be, you gotta be accountable for some of these takes brothers. Like you'd be saying this stuff into microphones in front of millions, the whole world. You can't get away with some of this stuff. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Victor Wemba Nyama has 15 wins. Just, just so you know. Yeah. That's across all sports. I remember back when Alabama was a big thing in college football. We like Alabama could beat the Cleveland Browns. Are you kidding me? I don't know what happened to your microphone, but the Pistons and the Wizards would trounce UConn routinely, often, almost every time. Jordan Poole would have 75 points.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Absolutely. He would light, Jordan Poole would light them up. Right, and I don't even think that the UConn girls would put themselves in that position. He shouldn't speak for these women. Don't say stuff like this into a microphone. Mr. Professional journalist Is that done? You guys are done dragging poor greenie who just has an awful take because Northwestern got dominated by Yukon. So clearly this team should make the NBA playoffs. I think the playoffs is wild That's wild. How many games does YukConn win? Put a number on it.
Starting point is 00:29:25 I mean, how many games? If UConn plays an entire NBA system. What do the Pisces have, like 12? No, they wouldn't win 12 games. They would win zero games. It's neither here nor there. They'd win like two, because there'd be just a night where nobody played and everybody was.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Depends if they're playing the Raptors and someone has the under. Right. Exactly. John Tay is on the court. John Tay. But the points better be what? 15, 17 points, right? I don't think your microphone works in any way. Yeah, John Tay is on the court. John Tay. But the points better be what, 15, 17 points, right? I don't think your microphone works in any way.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah, I don't know. I'm leaning into a microphone. It's just on. Put it right up to your mouth. I don't know what. Close her. Greg, for a month now, we've been telling you the microphone's in the wrong place.
Starting point is 00:29:56 My microphone is right here. Wow, look how much better it sounds. It's crazy. I've been screaming into a mic here. Greg, for a month. A ramshackle operation here. Get better mics Other than Mike Ryan you got no working mics in here
Starting point is 00:30:13 Mike I meant in the room I meant in the immediate room That kind of thing exactly. Thank you. Thank you. I got a little quicker. Thank you. Nothing that gonna be exactly Thank you come on amateur choose you quick learner You should talk to your wife. Gotta say it a little quicker. That kinda thing. That kinda thing. Exactly, thank you. Quick learner. Come on, amateur. Juju, quick learner. Quick learner. But he should not be allowed to say things like this. Honestly, he's a good host and stuff
Starting point is 00:30:33 and he has passion to take about the judge. He shouldn't be allowed. You're taking away his freedom of speech. He should go to jail. Yeah, I mean, at least an hour or something. You think he should be suspended? That man has made a lot of money in his career and that's just a very dumb thing to say.
Starting point is 00:30:46 I want to follow Juju's thread. He should go to jail for an hour. At least, bro. Like actual jail for one hour. What kind of jail are we talking about here? Because I would love... Greenlit. Greenlit. No pun intended. We know it's White Collar.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I don't know anything. It's just my opinion but the sauna in here is not quite hot enough. I just want him walking down the corridor holding his sheets, please. It's a little island. I didn't know it was a real island. Just to be clear, you guys think that Mike Greenberg, and I'm here for this, and in fact, you know what? I'm gonna call for it publicly.
Starting point is 00:31:22 I would pay a great amount of money for us to imprison Mike Greenberg for one hour of that take I would pay I would pay I Would pay five hundred thousand dollars to Know what? How about you do this you give me the money I'll go figure out what the schematics are on that murder, right? And then we'll go back to you I'll let you know it can't be murder. He's only got to go to prison for one hour one liquid hour He knows better than anybody that he would be a vending machine for sex in
Starting point is 00:31:55 Who amongst us fair enough, but him more than In an hour what an hour what if they hour he comes out as like the man in prison Takes out the goalie of the yard Like Carlton when he's fit the afternoon of MacArthur Park guards bringing him phones in MacArthur Park. He's got guards bringing him phones. Like Will Ferrell when he had the razor blade on his cheek. They open the cell for him, he just closes the door, bang bang, nope.
Starting point is 00:32:31 He would tell us that himself. If we were interviewing him right now, he would say, I would do very poorly in jail. No, I think he'd be institutionalized real quick. Like Billy said, I can't leave. This is my life now. I don't even remember what the outside's like. I think he shows up and he picks a fight
Starting point is 00:32:47 with the biggest, meanest, toughest dude in the yard. He turns into a Muslim in jail. You got a coupe in it? Happened once, brothers. It was a conspiracy, Aaron Rodgers, for his Achilles. It is a pretty hot take. Why is he doing that? Is he just, does he believe that? Because Northwestern lost to Yukon. That take why is he doing that is he just does he believe because Northwestern lost to you
Starting point is 00:33:07 Can't be because that is why he's doing he's covered sports for too long for him to believe I mean, I don't even know what he's doing. Is he being gratuitous? He's been covering sports for a while I genuinely think he believes this because he followed Northwestern for two games and saw you come look very good You know how it is you get caught up in the air when you're on the mic you say something you regret You got to keep going with You know how it is you get caught up in the air when you're on the mic you say something you regret you Gotta keep going with it is what it is That's what's supposed to be. Is he trying to get his daughter or one of his daughter's cousins into UConn maybe with a nice take Mean I want to get to March Sadness But the Celtics last night
Starting point is 00:33:41 Lost in the only way that you can lose for us to have any questions about the Celtics in the playoffs. To an Atlanta Hawks team that I don't think many people would find to be daunting or even capable of a 30 point comeback against anybody, let alone the best team in the league. But it's a regular season game, who cares, why does it matter?
Starting point is 00:33:57 It only matters one team in the league. Like honest to God, that game only matters because of the questions we're asking about that team. Yeah, if that happened to the Nuggets, we wouldn't say anything. If it happened to the Thunder, we wouldn't say anything. For them, and this is where I go back to what I said last time I was on the show, which is Joe Mazzullo,
Starting point is 00:34:15 you can do all this cute shit, contesting people's jump shots and all that, when you're winning. The moment you're not, all of that, we start saying, well, I don't know if I can trust what I'm seeing. And that's the problem. But ultimately, they know that they aren't going to answer those questions in March or early April.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Those answers come once the playoffs start. Billy, we're going to get to March sadness in a second. But they said they found for me Amin's commercial for his I don't know if you saw everything that happened here Greg but Amin Amin had a very embarrassing viral moment on the internet and he really owned it and turned it around in his favor We I'm helping people with this bit of content. He also got a law degree in the last couple of weeks every year Thousands of lowlights are taken out of context and disseminated
Starting point is 00:35:08 across social media. It's called viral decontextualization, and it afflicts thousands of former NBA players and weekend warriors alike. Hi, I'm Amin El-Hassan, and I was once a victim of viral decontextualization. Let me help you fight back. If you or a loved one have suffered a viral video
Starting point is 00:35:29 of a basketball play that is not representative of your playing ability, contact the law offices of Amin El-Hassan right now. If you've suffered from a viral video of a basketball play that is not representative of your playing ability, call the law offices of Amin Elhassan right now He is 100% a real lawyer. Don't let viral Decontextualization ruin your life call Amin and get your reputation clean. What's this? Pass me the rock?
Starting point is 00:35:58 Yeah, but I'm not who my video said I am. No, no, no, no, no, no. Game, size, game, size, game, size, game, size. Please don't wait. Stop viral decontextualization. Call 1-800-OGBALL or visit www.townhorrendous.com and have Amin fight for you. Amin, what are you making me read? There are a thousand things I like about that as video, never mind audio, but Charlotte stole it from Amin with the way that she said lawyer and what she did at the end.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Because Amin tried to steal that video and the video is great, I mean the what they did on the video side really funny that felt like a real commercial Yeah, the tinkling piano was a maestro touch The people joy the people of joy is comparison Dan everybody in that voice Involved Bravo and to my brother two words ass off Bravo, that's the first time youuju's ever given me that award. Really? He always says I'm ass on any time I'm doing any of these things.
Starting point is 00:37:10 First time? How many times have you failed to get Juju's? Thousands. Thousands. That's the first one? The first ass off I've ever gotten. You can't give him away. What's your favorite part?
Starting point is 00:37:18 You turning around to the camera at the beginning, like for no good reason? Shout out to Antonio, man. That was his idea. He told me to just turn this way and then turn back from this. You're welcome. I really can't shake Muslim Greenie
Starting point is 00:37:29 as soon as it was mentioned with the glasses and all that. Bean pie, my brother? I like that idea. I didn't talk to anybody and I don't know anything. Muslim Greenie in prison is what we've done. Talk to anybody and I don't know anything. Muslim greenie in prison is what we've done. And all this happens inside of 14 minutes. Damien, Damien Woody landed on us. Hey, it's Mike.
Starting point is 00:38:00 And first off, let me thank you. A lot of people have hit me up privately, curious about my fishtail palms and I just got some landscaping done and let me tell you they've never looked better. I've got light shining on them and now every night I go outside, sit on my patio, look at my fishtail palms and drink some Miller Lite. Yeah a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite. Yeah a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original Lite beer and to this day it's still the best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you
Starting point is 00:38:33 don't. Oh sitting outside with my family letting the music play and sipping Miller Lite. That is the good stuff folks. That is what life's about. Times change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Lite. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company,
Starting point is 00:38:56 Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.

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