The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Celebrating Third Place

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

While most believe it's an honor to compete in the Olympic games, Greg Cote believes that there should not be any celebrating after winning a bronze medal. Plus, the technical difficulties in the stud...io are annoying the on-air talent. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Genuinely thrilled to have a Miami Herald legend and icon in the building, Izzy Gutierrez. Also, Greg Cody in with us today on a Tuesday. Very excited to have all of this journalistic firepower in here, Juju and Jessica are here, and we begin with Greg Cody being infuriated at the universe, I'm sorry the
Starting point is 00:00:45 United States men's gymnastics team. Yeah, I mean. Microphone, it's on. Hello. Hi. Hi. Glad to be here. How are you?
Starting point is 00:00:58 Yes. Infuriated may be a little bit strong a word but I'm watching last night and I'm seeing the bear hugs enthusiasts say high fives, fist bump, bear hugs. They won bronze. Yeah. Okay nice. Look I get it, I get it. The last time the US men gymnast won a medal of any kind it was 2008. I know it's been a minute but still I thought it was a little bit overboard for bronze This is infuriating to me as hard as these people work to get it on a medal stand How and to not have the country be able to do it and for you to not celebrate third place achievement because your American God-given entitlement is that it's got to be first place or bleep off. Yeah. Well, you're you're putting words in my mouth
Starting point is 00:01:44 I'm celebrating. I'm happy that they won bronze, okay? You know, I'm gonna watch them on the medal stand. You should be happier though. Just like you criticize their happiness for being too happy, you need to be happier about them winning bronze. I love you legislating how happy I should be about something. I love you legislating how happy they should be about something. I love you legislating how happy they should be about something. Right. Greg, you are the king of nostalgia, right? What was the old address?
Starting point is 00:02:09 1440? Yeah. So to me, this hurts my heart to hear you say this because this brings me back to when I was seven years old in 1984, man, I dated myself, 1984 with my sister and we're watching Mary Lou Retton. And that was just a seminal moment for me as a sports fan and this one yesterday in the middle of
Starting point is 00:02:30 the day bunch of kids out of school probably watching that like that's one of those that might stick for a while whether it's gold silver or bronze. The big difference is in 84 Mary Lou won the gold the men's team won the gold that's some of the best gymnastics we have ever seen, ever, all time, also the best Olympic games of all time. Greg is right. These Olympians are setting a bad example for our kids. No one celebrates third place. You don't do it.
Starting point is 00:02:54 What are you talking? Yes, I do. Everyone celebrates when you get a medal in the Olympics. What? It's a team event. It's points-based. In team tournaments, you have the top seed versus the second seed, and then you have, you know, What? It's a team event. It's points based. They don't even play for it. You have the top seed versus the second seed and then you have the third seed play the fourth seed for a consolation game.
Starting point is 00:03:12 For the bronze medal essentially. Let me tell you how it works. Christopher and I are doing the Father-Son Olympics on the Greg Cody Show Podcast. In the last event, I got my ass kicked in Marshmello Expectoration, okay? I'm not celebrating second place. I'm pissed at myself for not winning, okay? You celebrate, optimum celebration like I saw last night should be reserved for gold medal winners. If I win the silver, my first thought is damn I didn't win the gold, I came that close. If I win the bronze, you know, I'm happy to have a a metal but it is the low ranking metal i'm i'm not
Starting point is 00:03:50 uh... denigrating what they did they should be happy you are you know they were way happy he is selling celebrate appropriately that's all he's like i think you've been there before getting on the metal stand and he's an in achievement it is teams that got very close that did not get a medal, that did not get to stand up there that we will not remember. We will remember this team because getting a bronze,
Starting point is 00:04:12 there was a drought since 2008 where this men's gymnastics team did not medal at all at the Olympics. And they finally were able to do it this year and they were appropriately very excited to bring home hardware. I was listening to the Women's game podcast with Sam Ues, who was on the U.S. women's national team
Starting point is 00:04:28 during the Tokyo Olympics. They lost the semi-final against Canada, and she said that the leadership on their soccer team told them, we know this is devastating because now we won't play in the gold medal match, but we need to win the bronze medal because going home with nothing is going to feel much worse
Starting point is 00:04:46 than going home with a bronze medal and being able to stand on the podium and bring that medal home and say that you are an Olympic medalist. And so that is why competing for a bronze medal matters because there are so many athletes that go to these games that come home with nothing. And they were able to stand up there on that podium
Starting point is 00:05:03 excited appropriately for how meaningful it is to bring home a medal in this Olympics for the men's gymnastics team. with nothing. And they were able to stand up there on that podium excited, appropriately, for how meaningful it is to bring home a medal in this Olympics for the men's gymnastics team. And the margins in gymnastics, as somebody who's been watching since 1984, are razor thin these days. These teams and these athletes are so good. You can't make any mistakes, Greg. If you watch that, you have to nail every single performance just to get a bronze. If you fall, if you trip, if you hit the knee to the ground,
Starting point is 00:05:29 you are out, and that was a heck of a performance. I wanted to crush my dad when I first heard this take. And I'm like, you know what? I know how I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna look up the odds and see how low down USA was and see that they should be celebrating to get third. And then I looked at the odds. Japan and China, huge favorites.
Starting point is 00:05:46 So you knew they were getting gold and silver. It's just a two team race, basically, based off these odds for bronze between Great Britain and USA. Oh, so we won again. I'm just saying, like, to my dad's point. We beat the Brits. They were basically, it was a two horse race for bronze.
Starting point is 00:06:01 You say it's a two horse race, but I assume the Cody Podcast Olympics are also a two horse race. bronze. You say it's a two horse race but I assume the Cody podcast Olympics are also a two horse race. That's true. On marshmallow expectorations. We call it marshmallow hawk twoing. Well I don't. But yes it's a two-man race so I'm not gonna celebrate Finnish second. Yes but the competition again is not international it is not worldwide it's you and your son on spitting out marshmallows. And my dad has asthma and it was his idea to do it. Yeah, true.
Starting point is 00:06:30 It has to be the underdog. I mean, one of my favorite things in all of this stupid genre is the hair splitting on appropriateness of celebration where Jessica's arguing that was an appropriate celebration and Greg Cody is arguing a little excessive. Okay, here's a point I would make. Here's a point I would make. In no other sporting event more than the Olympics, are there three obvious levels of celebration? Gold, silver,
Starting point is 00:07:03 and bronze. That's what I'm saying. And here's an example I would use for you. In World Cup soccer, okay, they have a championship game and they have a consolation game. If you're in the, if you win the consolation game, you have won what is tantamount to a bronze medal. Nobody is acting like US men's gymnastics when they win the consolation game of the World Cup for third place. At the risk of alienating the audio audience, Juju, would you mind just coming in here for a second? I'd like Greg Cody to reenact what would have been the appropriate celebration after winning
Starting point is 00:07:37 in gymnastics with his teammate Juju. Congrats, Juju. You guys won the bronze medal. I'd like for you guys to show us what that should have looked like if if if you indeed you found it excess i feel like it's a fist bump and that's about it like you can't hug each other just you know a couple of days off the job the job let's go to the podium let's listen to japan's national anthem and then we're gonna
Starting point is 00:07:58 okay here's what we're gonna do we're gonna do a little high five right and so greg is walking up to do the high five, right? So Greg is walking up to Juju, he gives a high five. It's a bit much. A hug, a casual hug. And then we're going like this because, all right, we're happy. Yeah. That's sad. You disgust me.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Why do you guys even like sports? I mean, come on. Really? I believe that Jessica leads our world in being enthusiastic about what it is she's watching, because it's just amazing sports and cubes. It's like, make me care about these people in nine minutes based on what they're wearing, give me their story,
Starting point is 00:08:33 make me care about this in nine minutes, and Peacock is doing a hell of a job of that. Dan, the Olympics gets me all the time because I never get like emotional leading up to it. But when I'm watching, forget it. It brings me right back to my childhood. Yesterday, about 3 p.m., I was pacing in my living room, butterflies in my stomach, nervous as all get out.
Starting point is 00:08:55 The women's volleyball team was against China. That's the last two gold medal winners. They were going to a fifth set. You've got the men's gymnastics team, have to hit on every routine. And then you've got the last guy gymnastics team, have to hit on every routine. And then you've got the last guy, Billy Gill, with like a Jack Billy Gill over there. Steve Naderosik, the pommel horse specialist comes in
Starting point is 00:09:12 and it comes down to the last event. And he pommels the shit out of that horse. The definition of you had one job. This man was being like, they were looking at him, they were telling him exactly how long until his event. And had to nail it one job he nailed it the amount of pressure on these people as somebody who can tell you I've been in some circumstances recently just playing games with people where there's information that I know and then the pressure is ratcheted up because we're just playing a game in front of five people and all of
Starting point is 00:09:49 a sudden my mind doesn't work as well as I know it should work. The fact that these people are competing at this level caring this much about this and they can't fold it up when you're talking about the amount of expertise and and the margin for error in this sport because're talking about the amount of expertise and the margin for error in this sport because of how good the rest of the world is. I don't envy these people being in this position and that celebration feels like a bit of relief to me on top of everything else. I'm more interested in your game night.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Yeah, me too. What are you doing there? You're nervous. Charades? I was sitting there just yesterday in front of Taylor and Thomas are putting together like a bunch of 2000 lineups. Oh, I love this game. Yeah, and it's like I'm looking at a 2002, I can't decide whether it's a Royals lineup
Starting point is 00:10:33 or an A's lineup and just playing in front of them, I'm more nervous than I would be if I was just doing it right by myself. So when I know that Stugats none of this ails you because you're incapable of shame No, it actually does the first time we went to Lake Tahoe. We had to tee off in front of people I was a nervous wreck. You shanked it. I did shank. I remember that there were like 26 people there watching us and I was nervous Yeah, I was yes Summers the best time to run the way you want dial it up with new Summer is the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days.
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Starting point is 00:12:01 He has been great. He's made great hires. I said all... We've said all of it. He said all of it. He said that. He said great. He's made great hires. I said all we've said Everything you're saying it's all been said. Okay, you gotta understand one thing two gods me maximum That's right. I say it hasn't been said. Okay Until I say it, it doesn't make sense. Me maximum, me maximum, me maximum. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats. I think that we're all chokers. I think here we would find a lot of chokers if anything was ratcheted up to a fraction
Starting point is 00:12:41 of the pressure that these people are facing in the elements that they're facing. I mean you talk about pressure and the agony of defeat and and narrow defeat I lost Olympic towel folding by two tenths of a second to Christopher okay so I've been there. But you're gonna have to trust us because my dad screwed up recording that portion of the Olympics. Well, that's true. We don't have a clip up there.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Greg, if you got a $15,000 payout for finishing second in Olympic towel folding with Chris, would you have celebrated more? If I had a payout for second place? Yeah, no. $15,000. You probably would have celebrated. No, I don't think so. I think you would have celebrated.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Look, Stu Goss and I are alone on an island here. Neither one of us is saying it isn't good for them getting a bronze medal for the first time since 2008. But it ain't gold and it ain't silver and the way they celebrated just seemed a little over the top for me. I think the way that Jessica looks at the two of you is what's happening in this room. I believe that Stugz and Greg Cody, because of the amount of time they have spent around sports and in this industry, there's a bit of numbness
Starting point is 00:13:53 around stuff in sports that feels good to people who really love sports. Like you guys have been eating McDonald's fries for 50 years and you've been working at McDonald's for 50 years and now you hate the McDonald's fries and everyone that eats them because you don't care about this the way that some, like Jessica's, Jessica's watching this, it feels like,
Starting point is 00:14:15 I'm consuming just her social media commentary. Her enthusiasm is off the charts for some of the things that she's watching because there's discovery in it and wonder and awe and you two are, you're in your phone right now, you're swinging from your drink. Like you guys don't care that much about anything. You only care about how can I come over and criticize it?
Starting point is 00:14:36 It is funny too though. I was watching the US celebrate and then you watch China just devastated because they choked away the gold and yet they're a spot higher than the US. That was a little bit weird. You go to the Olympics to win gold, not to win silvers, not to win bronzes.
Starting point is 00:14:54 You go to win a gold, that's what you go for. Bronze was the only thing they could win though. Now I'm back on the other side. You guys are idiots. There were two teams that could win gold and silver. There was bronze, it was the only thing they could win. Why do they give out the bronze medal then Stu gots? Why do they give it out?
Starting point is 00:15:07 It's a hundred percent an expectations thing too, because like Izzy said, China was very disappointed because they had a couple of big mistakes and missed out on the gold medal barely by like less than a point. And so their expectations were we want to win gold. We have one of the best gymnasts in the world on our team. Like we should be winning gold in this team event.
Starting point is 00:15:23 And so their expectations were to win and they didn't do it. So they were disappointed. The US expectations were we just need to get a medal. Like we haven't medaled in this sport in so long and to be the first team to medal since 2008 would be huge. People will remember our names. People remember our performances.
Starting point is 00:15:38 And that's exactly what happened and they were rightfully super excited to be up there. Let's give out a fourth place medal made out of tin. Let's give out a fifth place medal. Let's give everybody a medal, okay? Here's another, Stu Gass and I are the only ones with a proper perspective here on this. And here's another example I would give you. Okay, Miami Dolphins haven't won a playoff game
Starting point is 00:15:57 in 23 years. If they finally win one this season, it's gonna be a huge deal and they're gonna be rightfully celebrating, but it ain't the Super Bowl, okay? You celebrate that, but you don't- How are they going to celebrate the AFC Championship win? Just a casual handshake like you and Juju?
Starting point is 00:16:13 No, no. They're going to be happier than winning the wild card playoff game, but they're not going to be Super Bowl happy, and you don't get- Steps of happiness, yes. And you don't get gold happy by winning a bronze. That's all I'm saying. I think the important thing to remember here is that there are brothers on this team who will make a legacy now for their family. Some people that be the
Starting point is 00:16:33 first person from your family to graduate high school. I was the first person in my family to go to college. So this is gonna be a monumental accomplishment for those brothers on the team. Their names are gonna be in the history books now. They're celebrating that as well as the journey, all the broken toes, the broken ankles that it took to get here. So I understand what you're saying,
Starting point is 00:16:53 but this is different than the NFL. This is for your country and they got to represent it. I think they should take pride in not meddling. I think they should take pride and just participate. Just being there, huh? Yeah. Greg, there is a third person who agrees with me and you. That person is Herb Brooks.
Starting point is 00:17:08 If you remember, Dan, after the United States hockey team, 1980, Lake Placid, they beat the Russians. That was the semifinal game, and everyone was celebrating like we won the gold medal. Everyone except for Herb Brooks, who told his team, if we don't beat Finland, okay, in the finals, gold medal game, what we did against Russia means nothing. It means nothing. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, a couple of different questions. Is this show the world's leader
Starting point is 00:17:34 in talking about the 1980s Olympics? Yes. And also put on the poll, should there be a fourth place medal made out of tin? There you go. And by the way, to quote the great Ricky Bobby, if you ain't first, you're last. Yep, well said. I believe that that's the best representation of America there could possibly be.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Talladega Knights and Ricky Bobby. I think that's what we're going for as a country, just gluttonous stupidity. I mean, I went her Brooks, an American legend. To follow up on Juju's point, Greg, there was a gymnast, Paul Judah, and he continuously led off in almost every event. And the pressure to lead off is tremendous because, again, every routine counts. He is, his parents are from Poland, he's a first generation American, and for him to win a bronze, and this country, again, hasn't team bronze team medal since 2008 that is a huge accomplishment that's a
Starting point is 00:18:29 life story those are the types of stories that you see with like slowed down music and Tom Rinaldi speaking in the background in an NFL game like that was incredible his story and did you see his tick-tock dance afterward oh my goodness the kid is gonna be a star. JuJu and Jessica seem to embody the spirit of the Olympics route for America. See if America can make you proud but don't be cruel to the American athletes and offer them a medal made of tin if somebody screws up on the pommel horse. Nothing wrong with tin. What do you mean there's nothing wrong with tin?
Starting point is 00:19:06 Is there a place on the stand for tin? I mean, or are you off to the side a little bit? Yeah, you're in the shadows. You're in the shadows. But tin foil is probably the most valuable utensil in my kitchen. I use tin foil for my kitchen. There is a funny randomness in this,
Starting point is 00:19:23 in that we do make it the top three finishers, and I, for many years, since the 80s, have wondered how much it hurts to be the person who works for four years and finishes in fourth place by one one hundredth of a second in a race, like what kind of haunting that is, and if we just made it so that there were a fourth medal made of maybe not the insulting tin,
Starting point is 00:19:45 but something else. Bronze is pretty random. I'm not sure why we do three instead of five. I'm not sure why it's accepted three instead of four, but I have often wondered. You work for four years and you lose by a tenth of a second. My God, that has to hurt to get back into training next week when you arrive back in the States. I think I heard in one of the opening ceremony segments on NBC that there used to be two medals
Starting point is 00:20:11 and then they added a third medal like 100 years ago or something like that. And there were a few swimmers, there was one swimmer that finished in fourth place in Tokyo, I can't remember which swimmer it was, but she said that, like that was crushing to her. Like finishing in fourth and losing out on a medal by like a hundredth of a second,
Starting point is 00:20:27 probably feels in some ways worse than finishing in like sixth or seventh and being like, all right, I just wasn't, I wasn't good enough. But some of these races, especially in swimming, come down to like the mill, a millisecond, and it's like a race to just touch the wall quicker. And that is what keeps you off the medal stand and I think it's it's insane but I just hearing athletes talk about how crushing it is to finish off the podium in fourth
Starting point is 00:20:50 place and how motivating it is to try to get back and just get on the medal stand I think speaks to how big of a deal winning a bronze or a silver is. I watched a women's swimming event last night I'm pretty sure it was a hundred meter breaststroke and the top six finishers were all within one second it was insane even even they showed the replay it was like watching a horse race where were six horses are within on a nose of each other it was insane it was the most exciting thing I've ever seen in the race and it was just a hundred meter and Lilly King got fourth in that. I think so.
Starting point is 00:21:25 In the US, yeah. So she should get a medal? Or she should be disappointed. Right, exactly. But if she finished third, she should be celebrating like what? Celebrating. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Her name will be in the history books. Her family name will be, she just made her father as proud as she can make him. She's not quite as proud as she could. Right, I mean. Not quite as proud. You could. Not quite as proud. She made her father the third happiest he could possibly be. There were two other fathers who were happier.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Seriously. I have two questions. Is tin foil a utensil? And I'm surprised to hear that it's the most used utensil in your kitchen. For me it's a fork. It's not it's not a you tent It's not he called it a little the definition utensil is broader than I thought I thought utensils was just basically the definition of utensil is pretty broad it's like anything used in the kitchen, but one of the one of the brother words of utensil is utility and and Little in the kitchen has more utility use than tin foil
Starting point is 00:22:24 You can you can wrap up you can use it to heat stuff in the oven you can wrap up leftover pizza throw in the fridge there's all that you can make up a beautiful hat uh... out of uh... tinfoil you know there's just a myriad of things you can do with it put it on the pole please juju is tinfoil a utensil i'm with chris cody uh... i and and students on this believe that a utensil has to be something that you can hold in your hand that kind of has a handle, right?
Starting point is 00:22:50 I don't think of like parchment paper as a utensil. Just because you can make a tool out of the aluminum foil does not make it itself. Or a utility, right? Or a hat. But by definition, does it? You keep mentioning the tinfoil hat. He has fun with tinfoil. I have a definition right here
Starting point is 00:23:07 Give me some tin foil. I'll make a hat. Definition of tin foil I mean tin foil of utensil is an implement instrument or vessel used in a household or especially a kitchen. So Tupperware? Yes, Tupperware is a utensil. Really? Oh, yeah Is there a distinction between tin and aluminum or is that pretty much the same thing? Because I get aluminum foil. It's a good question that you're asking there. Put it on the poll as well. Are aluminum foil and tin foil synonyms? But I am thinking for some reason
Starting point is 00:23:35 that this metal that Cody is making for fourth place, it's worse than aluminum. If I gave it aluminum, that'd be bad enough, but tin feels like something out of the 1800s that they were using before they invented aluminum. It sounds tin, sounds even, and I don't even know the distinction between them, but I think tin is more insulting as a fourth metal.
Starting point is 00:23:56 It always sounds insulting. Something sounding tinny sounds insulting. Not when you make it into a hat, I mean. That's true, then it takes on a whole new life. Then you're the quarterback of the Jets. And the fifth place medal would be made out of Styrofoam, I guess. I was trying to figure out who to make the joke, the tin foil hat at whose expense. I use this because the tin foil hat is used only to talk to the aliens, correct? That's
Starting point is 00:24:20 the only thing that a tin foil hat is used is to represent your nuts, correct? Or to attract a lightning strike. Why would you be wanting to do that to your head? No, I'm saying that would be a use for a tin foil hat. For science. Yeah. Right? No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Greg, I want to put a pin in this with you. No one is arguing that it wouldn't be better to win a gold or a silver than a bronze. Seems like it were. No. Obviously, being the best is the best option. What we are simply saying is don't yuck their yum. They're very happy they won the bronze and they deserved it and it was a deserved and appropriate reaction to making history. That's all.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Based on expectations. Based on everything. Based on the team's history, Based on their individual performances and coming together and everything that they did. Very appropriately happy for the bronze medal. We are all going to take a break now and when we return we will see how well Greg Cody has made a tin foil hat. In a world of slot reels and blackjack deals comes the must-play event of the summer from DraftKings Casino.
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Starting point is 00:26:13 non-withdrawable casino credits that expire in 168 hours. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash blockbuster. Don Lebatard. Stugats. Every Cup game. And Ep what? This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. It is a bit hard for me to explain to the audience, an audience I imagine that does not care about what the technical difficulties are in doing this show. It's a little hard for me to explain to the audience when I've got a number of different
Starting point is 00:27:01 things crackling in my ear and I'm not totally sure whether I'm hearing that Zoom voice tell me that something is recording because I'm actually hearing it or because it's happening behind the scenes and didn't actually go out on air. So there are a number of times in the first 24 minutes of doing this where something was going wrong, so I wasn't able to play Whac-A-Mole
Starting point is 00:27:24 with my two co-hosts here and get all the facts right on no a tinfoil hat does not get and more lightning it prevents you from having lightning in your life and greg cody is going to continue to try and make this tin hat all we've learned by scouring the internet is that ten is heavier than aluminum which suggests to me if i made a fourth place medal out of aluminum it's All we've learned by scouring the internet is that tin is heavier than aluminum, which suggests to me, if I made a fourth place metal out of aluminum, it's more insulting than if I do it out of tin.
Starting point is 00:27:52 If I'm giving you a heavier metal that is made of tin, I still don't know the difference between the two things though. Do any of you know the difference? No, but I was thinking maybe we just bump everything down and add a platinum metal. So first place gets platinum, because platinum's the heaviest metal right like that's the most if I want platinum jewelry I know that shit's gonna cost me alright, and then there's gold silver bronze. Maybe 10 for fit
Starting point is 00:28:15 Don't forget about diamond you should get a diamond medal too, so hey Can albums be aluminum? My album went aluminum no Can albums be aluminum? My album went aluminum, no? You're willing to put platinum and diamonds ahead of gold? Well, you can move anything ahead, because in the first Olympics, the winners
Starting point is 00:28:34 got an olive branch and a silver medal, and then they upgraded to gold. So yeah, we can go platinum. We can bump gold down a little bit. Which has the higher status, the platinum MX or the gold MX? Platinum, right? Platinum for sure. Platinum by far.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah, but the black one is better. But the black one is better. Ooh. Gets you to be a black, yeah. Ooh. Yeah, a black medal, yeah. That's very controversial. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:28:55 Making black better than all of the other medals, you're asking for an Olympics that is a little political. Right on, brother, right on. Ha ha ha. Greg Cody is very busy trying to make what he- Yeah, we can hear it. It's an unmistakable sound of aluminum foil being moved around. You can't do it silently.
Starting point is 00:29:14 I mean, it's impossible. It is impossible. The worst, like late at night when you're trying to get a thing of leftovers that's covered with some aluminum foil and you're trying to quietly open it so your wife doesn't hear it. It was a half second where I'm wondering what in the world are you
Starting point is 00:29:27 doing with aluminum foil at 3 in the morning? I should have realized it right away, my fault. That is the lament of a fat man shame eating in the middle of the night. You're trying to... Everything is so loud at night. You ever try to open a microwave door? Every kid who has ever snuck out and come back home with the munchies knows how loud it is to wrestle around. You don't hear it. I can open that microwave as hard as I want at noon. My ankles crack like nobody's business at one in the morning.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Silent. Everyone can hear it. You get mad though at your wife because you're like, hey, how about Saran Wrap? I mean, did I open this thing in silence? What's noisier, put it on the poll, Juju, at Levitard Show, the 3 a.m. aluminum or the 3 a.m. opening of the bag of chips? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:30:13 The worst. I just don't do that anymore. It's embarrassing when the wife just pokes her head out of the door at 3 a.m., like, what are you doing? It's that noisy? It's your rummage, your late night rummage. This has to do with the drinking though, right? You have less grace late at night.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Yeah, a lot of it. It has to do with a lot, Dan. There's a lot to unpack here. I'm a little bit of an overnight eater sometimes. I sleep in like three or four hour segments. The best part about it is when you sleep next to a snorer, you don't have to worry about knowing if they're awake or not.
Starting point is 00:30:45 At snoring, it's gonna be asleep, I'm good. I got at least an hour. This is the saddest hat I've ever seen. I love it. You put that on a damn aluminum beret. It's not great. It's not a great look. You've spent a lot of time working on the aluminum hat.
Starting point is 00:31:00 And as a payoff. Just molded it to your head. It's not, it doesn't look much like a hat and i was really i needed that use more tinfoil okay if if i have a second opportunity it's gonna be like this but deeper and better okay you got plenty of time and another crack at it go ahead to the first uh... the first i went on when you work on it and i have to fight with that the flathead
Starting point is 00:31:22 uh... it's not great uh... again at the risk of uh... alienating the audio audience i do want to go to some video here of our dangerous streets in miami many of you have seen this i wish uh... that i had waited until right now to show this video to jessica so that you could have heard the cackles that we heard before the show when she learned of this video for the first time our streets in miami as i said very dangerous and this is right outside the else or this might be felt for the bite the viral video of a man at an intersection leaving his car and uh... while uh... in rage because a woman through some sort of
Starting point is 00:32:03 uh... some sort of sort of drinking thing at him. He runs over to where she is, jumps up in the air, and karate chops her rear view mirror on the side of her car. It's very impressive. It's unbelievable. I'm trying to reach this man because it is, he is like a superhero.
Starting point is 00:32:24 The fact that he knows he's going to destroy that rear view mirror. Did he know? He must have. Because it felt like he just jumped in the air and then decided what he was gonna do then. Oh, it's so good. It's actually, at the very beginning,
Starting point is 00:32:35 you think it's, oh no, this is not good. It's a guy attacking a lady, and you're like, oh my god, this is gonna be bad, and then he just decides to, like, atomic bomb elbow drop. Oh man man did he must have hurt his wrist do you think he gets back in his car there and is just like my wrist there's definitely a bruise it's probably a slight fracture and now that woman is a worst driver because she does not have a side view mirror I think the way that works you get back in the car you have the adrenaline going you get back in the car like five to seven seconds later you
Starting point is 00:33:02 start looking at your wrist you're like like, ow, man, you start shaking. Wait, I don't want to move away from this just yet. What I want to ask all of you, okay, is all of you, have any of you ever had the combination of rage and confidence to jump up in the air like Thor himself and bring down from the heavens a righteous confidence that is going to destroy your rear-view mirror that you know It's gonna destroy it as you jump up But you weren't sure whether you could destroy it without jumping up that way and having the full force momentum
Starting point is 00:33:38 I don't mean to be a wet blanket But do that to a man in the car is my opinion because I don't give a damn I this this ain't funny to me. Bro, if that's my little sister in the car and a man walking up to the car at all, bro, again, self defense. As soon as you take a step towards my car, self defense. So you do this shit to a lady, bro, that's embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:33:57 I don't like this, bro. Don't have this, bro, on the show with me on the show, because that's embarrassing, that's a lady, man. Come on, I don't give a damn about no mirror. You better watch your ass out, bruh. Juju, you're right, but I think if you roll back the video from the beginning, I think the lady threw something at you.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Yeah, but I don't give a damn. That's a lady. That's a lady. Right. That's a lady. That's a hard stop. It's an every car a she really. Hard stop.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I don't think it matters. Like I get what you're saying, Juju, but like it shouldn't even matter who's in the car. Like this is an absurd overreaction to someone throwing a styrofoam cup at you. I wish somebody would do my girl a car like that. Boy, you're getting bussed on camera, on film. At the risk of discarding the wet blanket
Starting point is 00:34:36 and still just isolating the performance after the inappropriateness of the level of the rake. Let's say this person isn't doing it to a woman, isn't doing it to anybody, he's just jumping up in the air in a way, I wanna freeze frame him in the air. It's a self-driving car, Dan. That's right, it's a Tesla, thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Well then he might be justified, cause those things suck. Well that thing might explode, one of our self-driving cars might explode and actually win the fight. The absurdity of this reaction, since we're spending the entirety of the first hour of this show,
Starting point is 00:35:14 gauging whether emotions on people winning bronze medals run too high or whether they run too high here in the street. Juju, of course you are right that the reaction to that should not be that. But I will say that my wife has rarely been more disappointed than in me than when she has to hold me by the chest because I want to get out of the car and do that to somebody in a South Florida. I'd love to see you try. Man, that would be a great video. Increasingly, I mean we could have that video. It's happened.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I've never seen my wife more disappointed in me than not being able to hold me back by the chest as I'm going off into South Florida where someone can shoot me and get away with it. It's the height of stupidity. I deserve the disdain in her eyes. It's not something that I can control, not the way rage works. First of all, if you freeze frame that the way we did,
Starting point is 00:36:07 it looks like he just won a bronze medal with the US men's gymnastics team, that's what it looks like, he's celebrating. But secondly, I think road rage is probably where you feel the most embarrassed right after. Like the things that you do, the things that your wife is telling you when you are going nuts,
Starting point is 00:36:23 you probably feel five minutes later and just like, God, I was so stupid, over what? He made me flinch, ugh. Having a kid has kind of shown me that because I'll just sometimes forget my daughter's in the back seat and I'll just be like, oh, what the bleep or something, and she'll just be like, Daddy, what's wrong?
Starting point is 00:36:39 And I'll just be like, you know what, I overreacted there, you're right, I'm sorry. There was a guy who cut me off coming out of a parking lot, okay, you know what, I overreacted there. You're right, I'm sorry. There was a guy who cut me off coming out of a parking lot, okay, just blatant, just saw me coming and decided to just jump out right in front. Had me slam on my brakes to the point where it just like started to shake a little bit, right?
Starting point is 00:36:55 And then he pulls over to make a left turn near me still and I'm swearing on my life. I was the only one in the car so nobody can believe me. He did a white power sign, like right by his head. I nearly lost my mind. Like, you wanna talk about normal road rage? I followed this dude for two miles, and I stood next to him, staring at him
Starting point is 00:37:16 for every single light until he was man enough to turn and look at me. Never looked at me. It was a mile in and I was already embarrassed, but I continued. And by the end, I just failed because It was a mile in and I was already embarrassed, but I continued. And by the end I just failed because he ran a red light and I wasn't willing to. That's what I'm saying, bro.
Starting point is 00:37:30 You never know who you're dealing with out here in these streets, bro. You run around karate chopping cars, bro I would've caught you mid-air. I'm not gonna play with you, bro. I got heat for people like you, cuz. Like you did, like you're not finna run up on a car that I'm in, like that's just, that's 100% goofy, man.
Starting point is 00:37:44 But if you do. We should not celebrate this brother at all. Boo this man when you see him, ladies and gentlemen of the audience. I'm just laughing. I mean, get a laugh at it. The stubborn pride of masculinity is a special kind of stupidity to behold. And when you know you're in it, when you're in your rage and you cannot control it, because I ate the middle finger the guy gave me, it's when he started cursing me under his breath but loud enough for me to hear
Starting point is 00:38:12 that my wife. It was go time. Well, it's stupid, I'm not bragging about it, it's really dumb, it's an ignorant thing to do, and yet I couldn't control myself from doing it even though I knew I was doing something that was ignorant. Rage bypassing ignorance consciously is a bit of a mind bleep.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Yeah, it's one of the easiest things to me to sort of let go of and the thing that makes people that have road rage the angriest is when you just smile or laugh at them. They get so angry when you do that. It seems like it just ratchets it up, ratchets up a little bit more. What is going on with this hat?
Starting point is 00:38:49 How are you feeling, Greg? Now, speaking to the microphone, we've lost you for two segments with this stupid hat idea, and I don't think we're going to get a payoff. It doesn't seem like there's going to be a payoff of any kind. Looks a lot like the first hat so far. Yeah, no, this will properly fit my dome.
Starting point is 00:39:04 This is a new and improved down-leve-tar show with the Stugarts. It looks a lot like the first hat so far. Yeah, no, this will properly fit my dome. This is a new and improved down-labor tar show with the Stugarts. Gamble on by DraftKings. Hey there, loyal listener. As you know, in listening to this show, we've been around for almost 20 years. It's going to be 20 years in September, and a lot has changed over those years. Not just the cast, but the locations we've been doing it from. We started out in Miami Gardens, went to South Beach,
Starting point is 00:39:27 and now we're in downtown Miami. A lot has changed. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite and the support Miller Lite has had for this show, which I'm very fond of. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what is the best thing about the original light beer? Miller Lite sparked this debate way back in 1975,
Starting point is 00:39:45 and we still haven't settled it. For me, it's the undebatable quality, great taste, and only 96 calories. You don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan,
Starting point is 00:40:01 or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.

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