The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Hypochondri-OFF
Episode Date: June 28, 2023In a crew that has never worked together - a debate breaks out on who's the bigger hypochondriac. Plus, is it really an expensable work trip if you planned a vacation but do content to get it paid by ...the company. Samson and Amin discuss the per diem life of pro athletics and how players used to gamble it away on team planes. Also, is Miami a legitimate landing spot for Damian Lillard - Mike wants him to make a mess to force his way down, but maybe he just really likes Portland. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
We have finally a group of people here today who have never once done a show together
for a record.
That's every day.
7th day in a row.
It's the audience is confused. I have, listen, I don't blame them.
I know. We sound like Dan right now.
But it's my favorite way to start a show.
Yes, was not here yesterday.
She's here. Charlotte was supposed to be here yesterday.
She's here today. Mike wasn't here.
Well, he kind of was here.
And now he's fully here today.
No, a mean yesterday.
I mean, today Dan was here the last seven months. Dan not here today no no no don't worry dan will be back but
just for three segments he's driving and he's late yeah bett wrap the thing
about what i like sitting in this year for this segments to
is i like being close enough to you when i'm across from you i can't quite
smell you but when i'm next to you i can so i've done a lot of changes here to
dan's area,
to protect myself from you.
The first thing I did is move my candy to the right,
but I kept my spoon and water to the left.
Okay, I am not comfortable with this arrangement.
You are sick, I am now,
because yesterday Billy was saying,
I look great, I look better than I've looked
at a long, long time.
But one day back and I am starting to not feel well,
and it's because of you,
and you're sitting closer to me today
than you were yesterday,
and I told you to sit on the opposite side of the table.
And I told you that I can't sit where a mean sits
because metallurped for whatever reason
built this amazing studio,
and then ran out of money when it came to the third box.
In what is the strangest thing I've ever seen
in an arrangement because there's three people here
all the time and why the person on third base
which is the most important spot on the field,
what are you gonna do when you get sick of me?
You have no cough button.
I spent the entire show yesterday leaning over coughing.
Someone get some disinfectant here, please.
How about we don't come to work when we're sick?
Well, okay, then there'd be a whole lot of silence.
I had to take an entire week off two weeks ago
and I was sick because even though I wanted to be here
so badly, I wanted to be here
among my brothers and sisters making content so bad,
but I didn't feel good and I was a brave little boy
at home and that's what everyone's supposed to do when they're sick. You did that good and I was a brave little boy at home.
And that's what everyone's supposed to do when they're sick.
You did that for a little boy at home.
You did it for us.
I did it for you guys.
I didn't want to get anyone sick.
And guess what, no one got sick after I came back.
Now you're all sick a week and a half later.
Yeah, interesting.
What kind of sick are we talking here?
How neurotic do I have to be after this show?
I am extremely not contagious.
I have. Whoa. Oh not contagious. I have.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
Put it this way.
I have fun yesterday, David.
I don't feel well today.
I have nothing that you've not already had.
So it's all going to work out fine.
I'm about that.
For all of you.
That's a spoon.
It's not from flying.
So you flew. Didn't you fly to get here, Charlotte?
I, yeah.
So do not think that you were exposed
to way more viruses than I currently have.
I wore a mask because I'm,
because I now,
look, I was a hypochondriac before COVID
and then COVID hit and I was like, finally now,
I have an excuse to wear a mask when I'm on a plane
and people won't look at me.
Like, it's nice, I just kept it rolling.
I wanna talk about your hypokondroid
because I am too.
I wanna have a hypokondriac face off.
How bad, how serious are you?
When you start feeling something,
do you go right to Defcon one or do you spend a few minutes in the analysis
Stage and stay at defcon for what is the analysis stage those it looking stuff up on the internet?
Web md is a saved favorite okay, so that's a starting point for me
So what what is your level? Yeah, I've been told it would probably be a good idea to read less of
Web md by the people
of my life who love me.
So I've made a conscious effort.
I tried to, I take deep breaths and you know-
What don't do that?
It's all the terms are.
A lot of zinc, you know.
I like that we're having a hypochondriol.
I'm still waiting for the first salvo.
I'm going to let you win though, like right now you can win if you want. Oh, I don't need, by the way, this is a game that I'd rather lose, but I'm still waiting for the first salvo. I'm gonna let you win though, like right now you can win if you want.
Oh, I don't need, by the way,
this is a game that I'd rather lose,
but I'm afraid, as with many other things,
I'm afraid that I'm gonna win this one.
You're both afraid of losing it sounds like.
And here's why I feel,
I recognize the feeling of getting sick.
And once I get that feeling,
then I will it into existence. And that's what happened.
And I was due to come here and it, the feeling started. You will, the sickness into existence?
Because I know I can't stop the train. But you're saying this is a chance you may not be sick,
but you're willing your sickness into existence. There's never a better feeling than feeling, am I
going to get sick and then say, no, I'm not and you power through it
And you don't get sick afterward. Oh my god
It does happen it can happen you can fight the germs just like we fight the man
Do you guys ever go to the doctor and tell them what you have?
Because they love that like as you've looked it up and you're like, this is what I have.
And then they have to confirm or deny it.
That's what you have.
I literally did that like three weeks ago
and I had COVID.
I was like, hey, I have COVID.
And she's like, well, you said you tested negative at home.
I'm like, give me another one.
Trust me.
And sure enough, I was right.
Give me that PCR.
She was arguing with me though.
She's like, you really want to piece people?
Yep, we don't do those down here very often.
I was like, yeah, that's the problem.
Did the doctor actually stay down here?
Yeah, so that's like, Florida is now.
We're not doing a lot of these.
That's how Florida's been the entire time.
What do you mean?
Yeah, when I lived here, we were not,
we wouldn't stay down here as much as they do now.
Florida's become, in just the last three years,
to me.
To me, see, man, Florida, it needs three years, to me. To me. To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me.
To me. To me.
To me.
To me. To me.
To me. To me.
To me. To me.
To me.
To me. To me. To me.
To me.
To me. To me.
To me. To me.
To me. To me. To me.
To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. To me. but Ronnie Boy has really made it it down here. Zate, David, might I make a suggestion?
You're very worried about your health
and your own WebMD all the time.
You typed a letter W.
It doesn't even think you're trying to go www.
Thanks WebMD immediately on your web browser.
But maybe not having a gallon Ziploc bag
of just pure candy.
That doesn't make you sick.
I can't, what's, that one?
It can't help, does it?
Sugar? I'm a sugar addict. You can't help that.
Sugar?
I'm a sugar addict.
That might ruin, but that's why I get you sick.
Sugar.
You don't get germs from canned nuts.
Derms, but we can do immunity system.
That is not accurate.
What are you a doctor?
Show me on WebMD where it's safe.
Oh no, I could find it, David.
You could find anything on the internet.
That's the point.
My wife's convinced she has an ulcer
because she went on the internet yesterday
and I'm like, why don't you go to a doctor, you know?
Your wife has an ulcer because she's married to you.
That's a good point.
That's absolutely.
But he's not around enough.
Why would, maybe the ulcer would act up.
The zeal's are act up.
Do you find it better?
Is your wife like it when you're on the dead?
Do you have to call in?
My wife was with me on the tour.
What do you mean?
She went to two shows at City Fields.
She went to one show at Fenway.
She couldn't make it to the second show at Fenway.
So usually the ulcers come on the heels of vacation
when she's actually spending time with me.
You know?
Because you're right, when I'm here I'm working.
She barely sees me.
So she travels with you and watches you work when you travel.
Do you, when you are expensive and when you're defrauding
metal arc, are we paying for her to?
Yes.
How do you arrange that?
Like when you're doing room service.
Right.
What do you want me to split the bill?
I mean, we can't expense.
We can order room service?
You're not, you cannot expense room service for your family
when you're on the road. What do
you want me to do? I don't know what to do. It's usually how it's reports work. I don't
have to put them. Do I itemize it? Yeah, but I don't go traveling with my wife all that
often. I don't. I don't have the the temerity to Expense something that I just took as a personal trip even when I'm making content
It really expense that I went to Buffalo filmed a lot of content there to inexpensive because you know I am shame her portion you're saying
No any portion like if it's a personal trip. I don't expensive like you went to Buffalo created content for this company
You did not expense that's no because i wasn't the original plan around it
uh... i i originally just wanted to take a vacation watch air roger
that's a lucky happens that's it
that's a team player right now
i like the idea of pradeem's more than expenses
because i don't want to have to spend the time going through expense reports
and see whether or not you're treating your wife to prime red.
Well, also, if someone gave me money each day, I would have subsist on cliff bars and
then go buy some ice clothes.
So Charlotte, so if you had been at the time I was working, the peridium on road trips is
$125 a day.
They handed to you in cash and in envelope.
So we're going 10 days, here's a G. So like, we would go to summer league and basically
you'd walk in with, yeah, 1250 in our pocket, right?
Right.
And so we stayed at the palms at the time.
The palms had like a subway and so it was like $5 foot
longs.
And then the other trick was you just had to float around
the rich people who are going to go to dinner.
So coach would be like, hey, have you guys eaten yet?
Well, no coach, I was just doing this report,
but I guess I can go to dinner with you.
And then we go to dinner and you get leftovers and stuff
and you subsist on this the entire 10 days
and then that cash goes to the tables.
That's what I'm talking about.
Like you're doing it the smart way.
I mean, can we switch gambling?
That's the smart way is to gamble your podium.
Well, it's to save the podium to do with it what you will.
So the urban legend was that Brent Barry
never spent the dollar of his podium throughout the season.
He would just pocket it.
And at the end of the year,
he would pay for a family vacation off of just
per-dium money.
There are players. and what we did
is you give them the cash for the whole road trip,
and then they go before you get the per-dem
as you're boarding the plane.
Yeah.
So the players, you walk on a team plane,
and there's the traveling secretary,
handing envelopes of cash.
The players go to the back of the plane,
they sit down, and they immediately start gambling.
Immediately, if not sooner, and they do it in all cash,
and they come out with their wads of cash and the
Pradeem's gone and then you can always tell who the rookies are because they're taking the pradeem and they need the money
Yep, it's the best way to gamble though. There's only upside. It's not your money
So you might as well gamble a little bit, but man here's okay, so so here's the flip side of this so summer league
You go and you got some players their first round picks and some players were on the team last year
And then there's the undrafted free agents who literally are just playing to get a better contract in Europe because they get seen and people say
Okay, maybe we could use a guy like that and every year we would hand out the per diem at the
Incoming dinner because everyone will be flying separately
You come in and we tell them hey guys
You guys aren't kids. Do you all adults?
Be responsible, but like, I don't wanna hear
about you blowing everything on the tables
or on the nightlife, you're here to earn a job somewhere.
And inevitably, like, by night one, the next night,
there's always somebody at the food court looking very sad.
Like, to that father, you at all.
Not at all, like, you know, not even a little.
But it was just idea that like, you know, you're broke.
Why would you take this money and throw it all on tables?
What bothers me is when players ask for salary advances,
making millions of dollars and they want it
to get paid in advance, or when rookie players
would spend their per-dem gambling, and then be upset,
or when there were fights on the team plane.
Oh, I have that.
Yeah, fights on the team.
The old J. Bay Otoni Allen action?
Because of gambling, they're sitting there gambling.
And what happens is they're playing these card games.
And then, of course, there's turbulence
and they're supposed to put the seatbelt on,
no one puts the seatbelt on.
The flight attendants are forced to try to help,
they get away, they make a card table
out of seats that go down. So they put the seats down the wrong way. It's an emergency nightmare. de intentar ayudar, se vuelvan a hacer un table de cÃtulos que se le acuerdan.
Asà que se le acuerdan los dos, es una noche de la noche de la noche.
Y luego los jugadores están arguing y luego se le acuerdan en una lana y
aún no están atrasando, unless el equipo de la literatura se dice,
¡que se le acuerdan!
Hola, alguien me escucha, necesito ayuda, estoy en Barcelona y las criaturas están por todas partes.
A raÃz, ¡blook! ¡A raÃz! ¡Escucheis lo que escuchéis! ¡Tapos los ojos!
La calle vamos todos a ciedas, pero lo más aterradores no saber en qué confiar.
Uy de las personas que os piden que mireis, si queréis seguir convido. I'm sure you'll follow me. Birdbox Barcelona, Estre no Netflix,
El 14 de julio.
Te atreves a ver.
Don Levatard!
A few blocks from here.
Somebody was killed with a samurai sword.
Hmm.
How the hell is someone being killed with a samurai sword?
Guess by impaling.
Thank you, my.
Stooots! We know that it was intentional because I know of someone that was stabbed with a samurai sword. Guess by impaling. Thank you, Mike. Still gots.
We know that it was intentional
because I know of someone that was stabbed
with a samurai sword once, but it was an accident.
Like the person was doing a school project
and there was a scene where there was like a samurai sword
like stabbing situation.
And the person was on the ground
and they were supposed to roll one way
and they rolled the other way by mistake
and accidentally got stabbed with a samurai sword.
As far as I know, they've made a full recovery, but it could be an accident.
This is the Dalemathar show with this two gods!
David, I am laughing at the visual of a player just knowing you the way I do,
knowing how you operated the marlins for many, many years.
On the cheap, is that fair to say?
No.
I mean, with your players, uh.
Oh, I mean, listen, I know you want a world series but for the most part
that's the way you were out fine okay is that fair like why are you getting
mad at me arguments okay I'm done I want to just apologize to you right you
you benefited from revenue sharing right we're gonna get we're gonna get caught
up in the weeds here the talks me Steve. I am wondering because I imagine you just being really upset,
there's no chance a player is walking in,
asking David Samson,
hey, can you front me a portion of my salary?
I'm just wondering how many times that happened
and what your response was when it happened?
You'd be surprised how often that happened.
Really?
I mean, did that ever happen to you?
All the time.
I mean, it wouldn't happen to me personally,
but yes, all the time.
So, here's how it works.
And they would come to me.
They don't go to the manager.
They don't go to the owner.
They don't go to the GM.
But if they went to the manager,
they would say go upstairs to David, right?
Yeah.
Everyone knew you would do that.
What's the man you're gonna do?
Yeah. You better check. You better you would do the job. Yeah. Yeah.
Like you better check.
You could have.
Hey, listen, Freddie, I'd like an advance.
Like, what do you want me to do?
Right.
We had a guy who I really liked.
He was really nice to my son.
Remember Paula Duka?
Duka, he made me do anything.
I mean, speaking of gambling.
Oh, he had definitely asked for an advance.
Because he plays the ponies.
He would be the most likely Marlin.
Yeah, he's like, I think he's still an analyst on TVG.
Yeah, he's a horse racing analyst now.
Is he?
Yeah.
He definitely, like, if I were putting together people
that I would assume asked for an advance,
are you messing with me, Billy?
No, I don't know if he is. He was.
He is what Paul the Duke does now.
Yeah.
He is very active in horse racing.
Well, he's always been doing it.
He's always been active in horse racing.
He just happened to be a really good baseball player and a really good guy, but he had a thing
about horses.
Right.
And when you have a thing about horses, it leads to having a thing about needing money.
Somehow those are correlated. And so he wanted to know whether or not
he could get in advance.
And I got very fatherly
because I said, if I say yes to you,
I know exactly what's gonna happen here.
And this is not good.
And he said to me, let me worry about my issues.
I wanna know, will you pay me in advance?
And my last stand was, but we may trade you.
So we can't pay you in advance
because we may not be paying you the entire season.
So I got to stick with that, and I got away
with not paying him in advance.
Was that legit or was that, was that,
actually not okay? You were just sitting there and you tried to legit though. That wasn an advance was that legit or was that actually not okay you're just that was a big
legit though that wasn't bigger than you traded them to the next we did trade
them but it wasn't that year but but it was totally not legit because if you
give it paid advance and then you trade a player and the players getting paid
by the other team you can actually just get reimbursed so no problem with
that there's money going back and forth at all times.
But I felt as though I had a responsibility to them,
and I look back on it now, and I think why?
If he wants to blow all his money.
This is someone you like, someone who was nice to your family.
I really liked him.
Okay, so if he had no shot, no one else had a shot.
I mean, no, but I think it may be the opposite.
I think if I didn't like the player, what do I care?
Take all your money in advance and piss it all away.
But I really liked Duky.
I really did.
I still do.
Did you ever approve one?
Was there anyone?
No.
No.
Did he use the same excuse every time?
Was it like, well, we might trade you.
No, that my excuse with Laduka was based on gambling.
But so no, it would differ based on the player there were players who actually did
all sorts of stuff some players I don't know if metal luck allows this do you
guys have direct deposit yes yeah yeah so do you have the ability to tell the
CFO that you want to direct deposit into four different accounts yeah you just
when you log into the thing it tells you how do you want and you could put a
we have a website where you can put in your bed. So we have
players who like doing it and it was it was nefarious because they were
trying to have money in different places for different. Some accounts are
secret. Uh, I'm a counselor. College funds for the children. It's called the
rainy day. I got my own call the, uh, it was not a rainy day. It was a close the shades day. I've
got the Venmo cash app account. To get direct to positive into your Venmo account. No,
no, no, no. That one's a quick easy little transfer after a little bit of side. Wait, David,
how many times had you had to explain to new players, rookies or whatever, why their check
doesn't look like what their salary says on the internet.
International players. Yeah. All the time. We had to explain to international players what
direct deposit was. Oh, because they wanted the paper check. One of the coat. Yes, one of the
great COVID stories was about Luis Castillo who was getting paper checks and not depositing them.
And our CFO, millions of dollars, Jesus.
And our CFO came to us and said,
we have an issue and he was French,
said, Luis, Luis Castillo has money.
Where is it?
And so we went to his locker
and we had a club he got through his locker.
And it was just the act of checks.
Oh my God.
Then he wasn't depositing.
So we had no idea he's supposed to take those checks
to an ATM.
Because the players know that direct deposit happens.
Right.
And so he just assumed that direct deposit was just happening.
But how was he spending money that he didn't have?
He had plenty of money.
That's the whole point of what I thought.
I would love it.
It must be really nice to have a bunch of checks
in your locker for millions and be like, well, I didn't notice.
It's like when you get an email, like, and the paper bill.
And you're like, well, one of these will cancel out, right?
This is not exactly finding a 10 in your jeans, like three weeks later.
I'm right into that.
With like, uh, someone gave a check.
Yeah, but it's millions.
Someone gave us a check for my daughter's birthday
and we found it like 10 months after and we asked ourselves,
what do we do here?
Do we still try to deposit this check?
How big of a check was it?
You know, there's a couple hundred bucks.
You don't notice that.
I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm a box for her birthday from a friend of mine.
Yeah, and then we just misplaced a check
and we found it like 10 months later.
We decided to not.
Not because you don't know what, you know, like,
yeah, you don't know if all of a sudden someone's over drawn.
Yeah, I have a different view of that.
You can do a really awkward text and be like,
hey, are we good to, uh,
Bingo.
Cassius.
Yeah, I just call.
That's a joke, don't.
Oh, that's exactly what I'm saying.
No, no, no, that, that, that was one of the considerations
that we made, but we just decided, you know,
that's pretty embarrassing.
I'll, I'll spend the 200 bucks a swallow, uh, this decided, you know, that's pretty embarrassing. I'll spend the $200 bucks a swallow this and not face that shame.
What's the number for you to text?
About one more $100.
Really?
Yeah, $300.
Yeah, $300 gets me that.
What's the number that just said?
Depending whether or not the Rocky's cover.
What's the number?
He's gambling again.
What's the number that has you just a bot?
Taking a month off. I've taken a month you just a pop? Take it a month off.
I've taken a month off.
Now that sports is taking a month off.
Are you okay?
I'll be back for one more minute.
What's the number where you just deposit it?
There is no tax.
Like I ever got about this check
and I'm just putting it in the back.
I don't care if they're overdrawn.
Ooh, I think I'm terrible.
Even if it were for a 35-minute check,
I feel like embarrassed.
Not no problem.
I've made the boss before.
Because it just gives a crossing impression to the person,
like you gave this present 10 months ago,
and you cared so little about this present
that you never got around to it for 10 months.
So it's just about like.
I think you need a new approach.
Mike, that's not the approach.
When you find a check, you take the blame
that it just got misplaced, it got stuck with the presence. And I'm just informing you
for your banking, for your calculations that I'm about to deposit the present. I'm sorry.
But what you really apologize for in that case is the lack of thank you note. Because
if you did the thank you note after the party, but didn't deposit the check, you then have
the right to deposit the check immediately.
I've only done thank you notes for wedding presence.
And birthdays, I don't do thank you notes.
I do the tax, I say, hey, thank you for comment
or whatever, but I don't do a premon proper thank you note.
Can you kill two birds with one stone
and send a thank you note when you find the check
and say, PS, I'm depositing the check now.
Absolutely.
I think that you, everything is open. But when I say thank you note, I don't mean on stationary. Yeah, I think I'm the check now. Absolutely. I think that you, everything is open.
But when I say thank you, note, I don't mean on stationary.
Yeah, I think I'm the outlier.
I think the way that I approach it is where there was one time
where I totally misplaced like a sizeable,
it was for a gig, for a DJ gig that I did.
And I totally didn't deposit the check.
And it was like embarrassing.
I can't believe that I misplaced a check this size
and then I had to reach back out to the person,
they had to rewrite the check.
Is there anything more aggressive than the PS?
PS, I'm gonna do this.
Do you know what PS stands for, even?
Post-Grips.
Because, thanks.
Look, come on, man.
See, PS is supposed to be something special.
Yeah, like a little ad in extra compliment.
But it's never that, right?
It's usually, well, not with David.
Do you know what PSS stands for?
Post script.
Post script.
Oh, is it PPS or PSS?
It should be PPS, but it's PSS.
So it's post script script?
Jessica, I swear to God, I've been wanting to be on with Ron McGill for months because I want to ask him
Why do cats respond?
Like what is it about that sound that to cats are like?
Yeah, he's talking my language and the same thing for horse it
Like why do horses like oh, yeah, I got what he's saying like why is that because someone explained that to me who's not Ron McGill?
Do dogs have one?
Treat?
The Dior Fido. Biiiight.
Biiight.
What was that?
What was that?
I was at a wedding once.
So that's what Greg Cody apparently does
to tell his puppy.
Jumping Charlie.
Yeah, to stop.
That's something is bad.
So I was at a wedding in October
after the Bay thing
became a bit on the show.
And one of the wedding guests said that they were a big fan
of the show and blah, blah, blah.
And we were chatting. And he's like,
yeah, we just got a dog.
And sometimes I go,
boo, and I was like,
oh, yeah, I bet it doesn't work because it's being stupid.
And then we just stared at each other
with an awkward silence for a second.
And he was like, yeah. And I was like, just kidding. stupid and then we just stared at each other with an awkward silence for a second and he
was like, yeah, and I was like, just kidding. It's a very smart dog training technique.
Oh, you meant the technique. Yeah. There's a lot of activity in the back room right now.
Lots going on with that story. I dropped an F bomb. So, it was all the
things on deck. I just felt bad that I insulted his dog training mechanisms
that he felt confident in.
I'm sure the dog's very smart.
That was a lot of emotion that caused the F-bomb for that story.
I was not expecting that.
I don't think anyone was, which is why.
He wasn't either.
That's why he was stunned into silence.
It was.
This is something you had just met at the wedding?
Yes.
Nice.
That's for sure. Minakom's dog. I've always said this. Min. Yes. Nice, that's for sure.
Meenakom's dog, I've always said this,
like Meenakom says of, like, what's his name?
Lenny.
Lenny's an incredibly good looking dog, complete moron.
Complete moron.
How do you establish, you know what dogs are more like?
I can tell.
Oh, you can know.
I don't know how you would know that about her.
Do you know Lenny?
It's very bad.
Have you met Zadolphin?
I've met Lenny once, I think.
He's think. Yeah.
Maybe it's you.
Yeah, it is me.
I have the six cents.
He doesn't like dogs.
No, I just know.
I don't like dogs either.
I'm scared of dogs.
I should have brought Willow in today.
I am not.
David, there was like two weeks ago, there was a date
where it was nothing but dogs.
Just running around.
In the office, in the studio, we're doing a show.
I'm going to talk to the dog. I'm going to run around. There was two dogs. No, it was a lot more than two dogs. It was nothing but dogs just running in the office in the studio. We're doing a show. You know, it was a lot more than two dogs.
It was two dogs.
I get an answer.
Was it two dogs?
There were dogs everywhere.
So it was a couple of dogs cutting it up.
You can have dogs in the office.
I'm a dog.
Yes, you can.
And we did a dog day.
No, we're not.
Yes, we are uncanceled.
Don Lebertard. I always trip out when guys are, man, you know,
officer tag with me or all you have to ask is please, man, your job, you're fat 300 pounder.
All you have to do is stand front another fat 300 pounder for three seconds, for three seconds,
one fat 300 other fat three hunts in front of the three seconds. Me, me. three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and three hundred and has gone so between heaven and earth. Snacks that I have to have.
Let out. Come down. Put my foot on the ground. Oh, why somebody trying to take my hair off.
And I don't get a tear to like it in the end. So I'm like, please, come on, man.
Let's be real. This is the down lebatar show with the stoo gots.
with his two guts. And then you get one day, Mike's taken 30 days off from gambling because he says there's no sports going on, ignoring the fact that the Marlins are doing amazingly well right now
and you could be betting on them every night, including last night, where the nothing personal
pick of the day was the Red Sox lost it.
But now we're spending our time waiting for Damien Lillard as though we are dependent on
him as a heat nation, that if he doesn't come our way,
we are a failure, Mike won't be a fan.
He already said he's done with Erison.
Don, forget what Erison's done,
forget if he makes money, lose the money,
it doesn't matter.
You're done.
And not being here in the host is still misleading
the audience, and taking a turn.
Well, turn the audience, one exact,
he is saying. No, I'm not done being a heat fan.
And also, Mickey Erison doesn't know us anything, all right? He's done enough. He's not done being a heat fan. And also Mickey Erison doesn't know us anything.
All right.
He's done enough.
He's done.
He is a selfless leader.
And he puts his heart and soul into that team.
He doesn't know the fans anything.
I am totally with you, because I can tell you're not
being sarcastic at all.
No, I'm not sarcastic person.
So Mike is going to sit here and tell us
that he doesn't care about Dame coming or not when he said that I do care about
I'm what he's my favorite player. I would love Damien Lillard here. I think that they
win the Eastern Conference. Um, just like they did this pass here. If they
improve on their team, Damien Lillard strolls in and he's the best player on this
team, I would love Damien Lillard here. But there have been a lot of examples
recently where there's been a star that is up for grabs
Including something that are already on the roster be a Kyle Lowry or Jimmy Butler where the heat ended up waiting like six months
And got them six months older and then in capitalize on a window
We just don't seem to get the stars all that much
We can go to the tape here what I'm referring to specifically is you being upset
But we can go to the tape here. What I'm referring to specifically is you being upset
about the Bradley Beale situation
and saying, once Dame Sierra, all's forgiven
and we're good to go.
Yeah, I am lodging very valid complaints, I think,
for a fan that is a fan of this franchise
and for the expectations and the culture that it established.
And I was upset that they lost out yet again
to Phoenix Phoenix being super aggressive
with a brand new owner.
And I will throw up my hands and say,
all is forgiven if they get the million lilyard.
I want to know about that.
I mean, as you sit here today,
how pissed is Mike gonna be going forward?
I mean, look, it's funny because he said,
oh, they missed it and they didn't capitalize on the window.
And he named Jimmy Butler as one of those examples and they went and got Jimmy Butler and they've been to the finals twice
We don't let big time
Not
No, no, no, I think the the big crown jewel over this post-Lebron
Erra is that he acquired Jimmy Butler. Yes with zero cap room. Yes, he could have done so
wire Jimmy Butler with zero cap room. Yes.
He could have done so at the deadline,
and he couldn't muscle out Philadelphia,
and he played very well down that stretch.
And it was because he didn't want to give up Josh Richardson,
a player that he ended up giving up later on for Jimmy Butler.
So in the same thing with Kyle Lowry,
Kyle Lowry probably had more to give at that deadline.
Remember when he was with Toronto,
and he wanted to be here.
Remember they got hit with tampering afterwards
because in that off season, he ended up coming over here
and those matter of months can mean a lot,
especially for a player like Kyle Lowry.
Lowry is a maybe, I would argue that Lowry is who he is
and those months don't matter.
And all you did was just discover who he was.
Six months later
than you would have had they done a trade deadline. The Jimmy Butler one makes no sense to me because
that 2019 team I believe it wasn't I don't think that was anything that was gonna
add a window and that's fair enough. I'm just I'm just mentioning it that even when they had the
first opportunity to get Jimmy Butler they got muscled out of the table by a more aggressive GM.
This has been happening a lot and I fear if Damien Lillard does go somewhere, which after
yesterday's news dump seems a little less likely, I still think he moves, what hope should
I have that they actually pull this off other than the fact that July 9th, they're actually
well positioned for that because Brooklyn has to probably be a little bit more aggressive.
We all readily admit that Brooklyn,
in terms of draft capital,
probably has more to get this deal done.
It's an attractive destination for Damien Lillard.
They have proven.
Why would that be an attractive destination?
They have a nice young core.
They were a playoff team last year.
They had a better regular season than Miami had last year.
I know.
So, like, they're pretty well positioned and they have a lot of draft capital, it seems like
the moves that they made were actually really good moves.
I mean, they got really good players in exchange for Kevin Durant.
But if your goal is to win a championship late in your career, and that is the goal for
Damien Lillard, why would you choose that?
I think you was Asian over this one.
I would, no, it's not a matter of choosing because we all know that Damien likes things
to be a little bit more difficult
I would look at Brooklyn's present situation as a clear upgrade over his situation in Portland
Yeah, I would rather be with Miami, but that doesn't seem to matter Damien's never played ball with forcing my way to one specific destination
Except by his own admission given the choice
He would prefer to be down here. Yeah, he said that on showtime
But he's still not doing enough for a superstar
to really like kick and scream.
Kick and scream.
He wants him to force the situation.
That's what he wants him to do.
He wants him to try.
He doesn't want to Bradley be.
He wants a Kevin Durant.
I'm not showing up.
Like he wants like a very loud and
a Jimmy Butler type mess.
Yeah, he wants a mess.
He wants him to come show up to practice beat the
third stringers. I want him to Dwight Howard. I want him to Carmella Anthony. I want him to make a
mess of things to the point that we is though. No, it's not. That's not how he is. But I don't think that
means that it's he's not coming. You know, and we were talking about this in the break Jason quick of the athletic
wrote this column where he says enough of people saying hey, we have to do right by Damien Lillard
Why do we have to do right by Damien Lillard? We've already paid him hundreds of millions of dollars
You know what you know if Damien Lillard is is really committed to bringing a championship to Portland like he always says he is
He should be fine with waiting until scoot Henderson and Shaden Sharp
Develop into who they're gonna be and then he's going to be coming off the bench will
it is and then he'll help them win a championship but he won't be the reason.
If he's really about that and I said this is the most insane thing I've ever heard in
my life, the idea that somehow the way that you prove that you're really in it to win
it for us is by saying I'm willing to wait until I'm no longer
The player I am right now. He's 32 right now. Yeah, he's gonna be 33 in two weeks
He's playing it 33 next year's wait until these guys get good right?
Go give it give it four or five years
You'll probably be coming off the bench averaging 12 points again, but that's how I know
You're really dedicated to the cause. It's just ridiculous on On the other hand, they gave him $299. Sure. Sure. So I feel zero for him. But it's not
a right. No one has a right to win a championship. But that's, but I think the saying like we gave
him so much money, he's so rich. Like that's the market in sports. Like that's if you're
good, that's what you make. I don't think it makes any sense to be like, we don't owe him. Nobody owes anybody anything technically,
but like he's saying he wants,
he clearly wants to be there.
But David's right,
like he signed the $290 million contract.
And Mike's right,
but he signed the deal
so it's hard to feel bad for him.
It's $290 million.
And all Mike is saying is kick it scream
and get your way out.
And to make one small correction, as a play with a no-trade clause
He does have some set. He doesn't have no. Does he have a no-trade? Yeah, he has a no-trade. Oh, then this is so like your point is relatively moot
Moot
My point is not because I don't care
You're like I don't have to trade you at all period, but but okay, but part of that leverage is I could trade the elsewhere
But that's that's a leverage that Damien Lillard has in this situation if they decide to turn the page and move in another direction
He could put his foot down and say I'm not going to Brooklyn
I'm only going to Miami and that's what I want to see he can absolutely do that and and that's the leverage that that he holds
Which is why he doesn't really need to say a whole lot out loud. This is the part that I don't get.
If you're Portland, why wouldn't you cash out?
What like what what does holding on to him do beyond his efficacy in terms of wins and
loss?
Yeah.
Give you a good guy.
Give you a good guy off the bench in four years.
Actually, actually, actually, pedals of doing live content.
I'm finding conflicting stories.
Sportsman or says he has a no trade clause.
SportsKedia says he doesn't have no trade clause.
I don't believe he has a no trade clause.
Let me check Spotract.
I thought he did not have that because I thought the situation
with BL was unique and that he did have the no trade clause.
That's a little hurts at the point in his career where he would be
granted a no trade clause. Let me see this.
He's he's he see this. He's
He was eligible. He didn't demand one though. That's where he made demand. It's just like
I don't think he doesn't want it enough
Why was he just really likes living in Portland? Maybe he's just like super happy with this setup
And he doesn't want to move and that's it. That's fine
Like that. No, I mean like like the like limit like the how he likes his house He's like I just a players like that. No, no, I mean like the limit, like the, like the, like the, like the house, he's like
I just, a lot of trouble.
He did just put his house on the market.
Not too long ago.
So he doesn't like his house.
All right.
Maybe that a bigger house.
Maybe there's a new house in Portland.
He said his house.
Maybe he looks at your son, Zilla, like I do.
And keep in mind, Mark and Portland, everything that's taking advantage of the market.
Everything that I've said is about Damien Lillard.
Like there's some truth to it,
but it's largely performative.
Like I don't believe him to be a loser.
I just wish he would be more about his legacy
and winning because honestly,
it comes from a genuine place
that I wanna see Damien Lillard play in important games.
And I've only gotten to see him in one conference final
and that's great.
And it was great.
Well the semi finals was awesome though.
Oh yeah,
damn call game,
all that stuff.
Like my thing is this,
we keep talking about for
day and for day and for
day. I think for Portland,
you're better off getting
out of that money and
you don't spend it anyway.
There's a cap.
There's a
there's a there's a floor.
Trust me,
you can even to crap.
That salary is not what
they need to get to the
foundation assignment in the
first place.
Half the deals in the
I also have like a very confusing ownership situation that the
estate doesn't actually want to sell even though they have to
yeah, I'm confusing there's a deadline there's a law they are going to have to
sell the the sister don't know actually likes it has said she doesn't want
to sell but she has no choice. The estate requires a lot of the state requires it.
So the estate requires it?
Does the NBA also require it?
No, it's the estate trumps, so the legal documents, successors, this was Paul's.
Yeah, his last will and testament was, I don't want my sister to own this team.
It was said differently.
It was that all of my franchises will be sold in the money will be given a charity
she sell it to herself for a dollar
no they had to first of all the mba would not allow that but it goes for
fair market value
they wouldn't approve that she sell it to her kids
i'm
no she's not your dollar she can't do anything she could
actually does nothing but she's actually but she is actually standing in the
way of this because she's reportedly not been cooperative with this process.
And there's a limit to what the NBA will allow
for her lack of cooperation.
And her brother can't be happy wherever Paul is rolling
around because she has been difficult.
And it's not like they're getting championships.
So what's the reason that she's doing this?
He's got a bunch of franchises. You've got to do this with.
I wonder if Damon Lillard is on the real estate sides to do.
Did the players do that?
Do you do that?
I picture you doing that.
Do what?
Going to see is it's a buyer's market or seller's market?
Of course I do.
Honey, I'm selling the house.
That's why I sold my house.
Cash buyers everywhere.
And you'll move anywhere.
You'll live in a hotel, expensive here.
Yep.
So you can cash rent. Rent renting a house like three houses down
He just sold his house because of the market. Yeah, that is really number one market. I'll talk to you
He's done that repeatedly as long as I've known him
He's done a yeah, he's done that double digits easy
Eventually, you're gonna it's like a game of musical homes
You'll end up he's about three weeks away from asking from a salary advance
like a game of musical homes.
You'll end up at three weeks away
from asking from a salary advance.
Shh.