The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Joe Chestnut and Connor McOverrated
Episode Date: June 4, 2024Today's Crew: Stugotz, Greg, Chris, Billy, Roy, Tony, Jess. It's a Greg Cote Tuesday and Chris and Greg are steering us down the Lazy River with Stu. The Meadowlark Olympics are in the planning stage ...and Greg believes he would dominate a balance beam competition. Tony swam out of a rip current and believes he could find his way out of quicksand, but needs a high-quality vine to get it done. Then, with Father's Day approaching Greg is once again asking for a Dadurday with his two sons to help out around the house. How do you get to Edmonton? Plus, Greg comes out firing with some hot takes about Joey Chestnut and Connor McDavid. Frauds? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I want to make sure I heard this correctly yesterday. You sent out an email, Chris Cody,
because we want to do some sort of Summer Olympics here at MetalArc Media.
That's right.
And you asked people to give you visually funny sports
that we could do, some are Olympic sports.
No, I didn't ask anyone.
I just kind of picked some sports
that I thought would be visually funny,
and when I got responses, everyone was just kind of
picking sports that they think they'd be good at,
not really thinking about the audience.
Okay.
I would like to do sports, I would like to do this.
I think it's a fun idea.
Visually funny sports is the way to go. this. I think it's a fun idea.
Visually funny sports is the way to go.
Like ping pong is not the way to go.
I understand people would enjoy us playing ping pong
and I would win that, I would win the gold medal.
Putt-putt was another one other people
feel like they'd be good at.
Yeah, I would.
That would kind of be interesting to watch,
putt-putt maybe?
No. Okay.
No.
Us swimming would be interesting to watch. Us diving would be interesting to watch, putt-putt maybe? No. OK. No. Us swimming would be interesting to watch.
Us diving would be interesting to watch.
Us doing things that make us look funny and embarrass us
would be interesting to watch.
You get me.
Watching us do things that we're actually decent at,
not funny to anyone.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, watching David Sampson excel at ping pong
is probably going to annoy people.
You know what I'm saying?
Sampson, what are you doing?
You think you're great at ping-pong, don't you?
I think I'm good at ping-pong, not great.
But for this competition, I have two words for you.
Ready? Balance beam.
What?
Are you getting on a balance beam?
You would just try to balance yourself up there.
You're not going to do anything up there that would be impressive.
I'm going to walk, I'm going to
strut like a horse.
You're gonna strut?
Yeah, I'm gonna strut.
He's gonna balance, yeah.
Five feet off the ground.
You're gonna fall.
I mean, I'm not gonna do back flips,
if that's what you mean.
So what's the big sell of this?
Just you walking from one end?
Well, him walking across the balance beam.
Him balancing, yeah.
That's quite the feat.
I'm gonna out equilibrium everyone else.
Right. That's all.
How about these two words?
Pummel horse.
Wow. Now you're getting a little complicated. Get those triceps ready. Uneven bars perhaps? No, no, no, no, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can barely do balance beam. You can't do balance beam. Balance beam is the easiest of the gymnastics things. What to just stand on? No, Chris, the key is to get on the balance beam, walk across the balance beam. Your dad could do that. He's saying he could do that. I bet you you can't do that. What to just stand on? No Chris the key is to get on the balance beam walk across the balance beam your dad could do that he's saying he could
do that I bet you you can't do that. I could just walk across but that's not
what anyone does in this competition they're supposed to like do cartwheels
on it and flips. That's your performance his is his performance each person has
their own performance. The ribbon dancing seems easy. I would do that.
Someone could do that. You could ribbon dance.
Yeah, I could.
Balance beam, I think, is like the first sport
every child plays, right?
Where they just do it on a curb.
That's right.
That is true.
Fair, yes.
I love a balance beam, even though I've never been on one.
I like the idea of one.
Let's just have you first walk on a straight line
of tape on the ground.
Yeah.
Okay, I've done that, but usually it's with a cop.
Like right here? We could make our own balance beam in here. Let's do it today. Yeah. Okay, I've done that, but usually it's with a cop. Like right here?
We could make our own balance beam in here.
Let's do it today, please.
No, I could do that.
That's a way to practice.
Is it?
Yeah.
And then take eight feet backwards.
Right, I can do that too.
I can walk backward.
One thing I do have is good balance.
Billy's so right though.
Kids love just getting up on,
my daughter, when we go to a restaurant,
we're waiting to eat outside,
there's a little fountain with a little bench around it.
My daughter wants to just walk around
in a circle on that thing.
The things that kids get joy at.
It's just crazy.
I love it.
Walking circles.
I was like, yeah, it looks fun, and I got up there.
Not that fun.
No?
No.
See, he doesn't have the same equilibrium.
He must have gotten it from Rolene.
Well, you know what I've been doing my whole life
is walking on things in parking lots. Yeah the bumpers. The bumpers. Yeah. You like doing that?
That's like this wide. Right. Which is probably what is the... Good surface area. Yeah what's the width
of a balance beam like four inches or something? Probably a kidney. I thought it was like six inches.
Is it? Yeah. That's no challenge. Six inches. It should be like like two I'll walk a two inch balance beam that's bordering on tightrope have metal art carpentry make me a two inch balance beam
And I'll stride it right now typically. They're four inches four inches. Yeah, right then okay child
I like this. That's like a curb right easy peasy
You know exactly how long that is yeah
That's like a curb right easy peasy
You know exactly how long that is yeah
Hey, oh So we need four sports is that what you're saying?
That's just kind of what I was going at right going for but you know because your dad said he would not do diving
Ten centimeters right and I was in your headset
But you blurted it out
Yeah, and... Sorry.
But you blurted it out.
I know, I heard it.
It sounded like good information.
I wanted to relay it.
What is 10 centimeters in inches?
Oh, okay.
Are you asking the question?
I'm from the United States.
Give me inches here, not centimeters.
It's like Christopher playing golf.
Tell me it's a par.
Don't tell me it's a four.
Right.
Don't give me a number.
It's around four inches.
Do I have to be in here with them?
You do.
Okay. I'm surrounded by Cody's.'m in my glory. I mean, I know it's like the great Cody show podcast
Against another show right it would be like up it would be a medal arc media Olympics
So it would be representing the Levitard show and this would be Jessica metal arc and representing
Poblatory finds out it's Pablo. It's like, it would be like as if the shows
are different countries.
That was like in my mind.
Oh, I thought you wanted us to compete against
like Dan Patrick's show.
No, it was more in-house metal lark
and the different countries come from
the different shows at metal lark.
Like we're gonna be swimming against the underdogs.
I don't wanna swim.
I wanna swim.
I do. You said you would swim right before the show. I'm not big on. I wanna swim. I do.
You said you would swim right before the show.
I'm not big on taking my shirt off.
You said you wouldn't die.
That's most people's problem.
You can swim with the shirt on.
No, that's weird.
No, the aerodynamics aren't good with the shirt.
You gotta go full suit.
That's why we put Greg in like a full suit.
If exposing body is people's issue, we could mandate that everyone be covered up.
So it's like, I don't know, I'm just like,
if that's a worry of people.
We could do wetsuits.
They're expensive though.
I don't know.
Scuba gear.
Dan's paying.
I don't want people to be uncomfortable.
Who do you think dad would win in a race?
Me or Leviton.
Leviton.
100 meter relay.
Oh, Stu Gatz would win.
Really?
Yeah, Dan would sink like a rock.
I'm a swimmer.
Yeah.
Sink like a rock.
Yeah, he would.
He would. Even though he's looking good, he's lost some weight. Yeah sink like a rock. Yeah, he would He would
Even though he's looking good. He's lost some weight. Don't get me wrong, right? But I can't swim
No, no, he can't swim. I'm kidding me. Knock it off. No, yeah swimming. No
He's on a pool in that photo shoot, yeah pool table. Mm-hmm. That's true, too
Hmm. Yeah, I'd like to do a four by 100 relay swimming. Yeah. Pool table. Mm-hmm. That's true too. Yeah.
I'd like to do a four by 100 relay swimming.
Yeah.
That's how you do it.
Who would you?
Like me and Dan, I would choose Tony.
Yeah, that's strong.
See, that's what I mean.
See, you're going with what I said.
That's why I think Dan might be strong at swimming
because he's like a tall guy.
Right.
That's why I think I'd give him the advantage over you
in swimming.
Of everyone on the show, I think Tony would be the first choice of course. I think I don't know Jess. Why are you looking me?
Swimmer I got out of a rip current once
Swimming is coordination and like not drowning right length is probably secondary to that
I just look at all the swimmers like Phelps and stuff. They tend to be tall people.
Roy looks like a swimmer.
He's got a swimmer's body.
Swimmer's physique.
I've seen him in a Speedo, and he does.
Have you?
I mean, I'm not terrible, but I'm not
going to be in that competition, though.
Was it at a pool?
It was a punishment Roy had to pay for the show.
You got out of a rip current once?
Yeah, well, seriously.
I did. Go on. Is there more to that? There is. So I was in Hawaii. Was it out of a rip current one? Yeah, well like seriously. I did.
Is there more to that? There is, so I was in Hawaii.
Was it at Typhoon Lagoon?
It was not at Typhoon Lagoon, it was in Hawaii.
Is that the name of the slide?
No.
Hurricane Harbor?
I made it out of those wave pools too.
Yeah, no, no, we were in Hawaii.
Those are a dangerous game.
Yeah.
I don't, people that bring their kids into the wave pool
at six o'clock. She loves them.
Very dangerous.
She wants to go deep too, I'm always like.
You could drown in there
Yeah, yeah terrifying. Mm-hmm. Anyway back to you. Yeah, so when you hurt your toe. No, this is a different time
This is a second another trip to Hawaii. So I we were in Maui and there was like a water trampoline
that was out maybe like a hundred yards from the shore and
A bunch of little kids were jumping on or whatever
so I swim out there and
Me and my brother my sister my dad we start swimming and then all the sudden
This like pull right starts like pulling us towards the the trampoline all the kids are already gone
I was like where they go they swim away on no no like they swam away like back into the shore
I don't know if they knew it was coming like I don't know what happened
but we get to this trampoline,
we're about a hundred yards off shore.
And I feel the pull where I'm having to like,
hold on to the trampoline because the water is like,
literally bringing us back.
So we're a hundred yards from shore.
That's a, that's a football.
That's a long ass way.
So I start swimming, right?
Just, you always have to swim diagonal to a rip current.
Right? Like that's the trick.
Cause it's pulling at a certain angle.
I thought it was parallel to the coast.
Right.
Diagonal to the rip current.
Okay.
Do you get me?
Like we're running parallel to the coast,
diagonal to the rip current.
Same thing.
Same thing.
It's a different way to say it.
It's a different way to say it.
Okay.
So I'm swimming diagonal from the rip current.
Why didn't you just get on the trampoline?
Good question.
Because I, so I had made it first.
Everybody else was still in the water.
So if I make it on the trampoline
and my family gets taken out by a rip current,
what do I do?
Well, I mean, if you swim and your family
gets taken out by a rip current too, they're dead.
Had to get back in the water
and tell everybody swim diagonal.
So it took me like 20 minutes to get out of the rip current,
swim in diagonal, because it was still pulling us.
But I swim out.
Strong swimmer.
Hmm. Wow, that's impressive.
Yeah.
You ever climb out of quicksand?
That's a good question.
I'm sure he has.
I haven't run across quicksand.
I haven't yet.
You haven't run across it.
Yeah, you walk diagonally.
He's searching for it, though.
You need a good vine.
That's the most important part, Greg.
You need a vine that you can hold onto.
Like Tarzan.
Exactly, and then take yourself out
like Indiana Jones, Tarzan.
That'd be a good Olympic event.
Wine swinging?
Swinging out of a vine?
Getting out of a quicksand?
Gym road?
Yeah, quicksand exiting.
And if you don't, then you're in trouble.
You don't get a medal.
I was thinking the other day,
I saw a competition where people were making a bed
really fast against one another.
Yeah, and then I was thinking like,
if you did that for the Olympics,
or if you did people making, like building IKEA furniture
really quickly, I would be really into that.
I thought about bringing in some like life events,
like things you would do in life, like that,
like not sports events.
Putting a duvet cover on.
I mean, I'm watching that every time. 10 out of 10 times.
You're watching a competition of that?
Yes, are you kidding?
Oh my god, people getting tangled up in sheets.
That would be funny.
It'd be great.
We should do that as a show.
If no one wants to be in pink and suits.
That is funnier than ping pong.
How about speed cooking?
The quickest person to make an omelet, an edible omelet,
with three, all you get are three eggs. Right.
And a pat of butter and a couple other ingredients.
Go!
And then...
You appear like a person who likes to take his time when making an omelet.
Yeah, I'd be bad.
Typically in cooking competitions, speed is not the agenda.
Right, but that's why this would be good.
Botulism is not the goal here.
The funny thing about that is nobody is a less efficient cooker than you are.
It's true, I do take my time.
Like if my dad says dinner's ready at 6, we're eating at 6.45.
He's your twice cut once.
Yeah, that's right.
He'll wait until the meat is done to start boiling his water for the pasta.
He's one of the...
Takes his time, he's enjoying it.
For Sunday dinner, I come over and I'm his sous chef
I'm just like did you do this yet? You should probably get the water boiling. Yeah, you turn everything up to high
Well, how do you boil water for pasta put it at ten and let it rip. Thank you
Like my dad puts it at like low and slow like he's like got it on three and he's just like it'll boil
What I know my stove if it's on ten, it's gonna burl over
Yeah, if it's on eight, it's gonna burl over. Yeah, if it's on eight
It's gonna take a little longer, but it's not gonna burl over. Mm-hmm know your stove man. I mean, it's the key to cooking
Thank you. It's gonna be a long day
You do have to know yourself
Why cuz you're sitting across from your dad you spent enough time with them. Yeah, really? I'm too mean to him
That's what everyone tells me. So I'm gonna be nice. You're off to a good start. Something to think
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Don LeBattard.
What do I got here?
I got a Magnum condom.
We won't get that out.
That's shocking. Stugats!
Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.
Right next to the condom!
That's a subtle reminder.
Never forget.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats!
I'm so waiting for that Datter day by the way where you and Michael come over and help old Pop in the yard.
I've been over to help you with a bunch of stuff.
Yeah?
In the yard?
Like what?
You have not set the day for that.
I helped you move stuff the other day from your backyard.
Okay, so if I set a date, it's going to happen then. I helped you move stuff the other day from your backyard.
Okay, so if I set a date, it's gonna happen then.
I told you, see this is just.
I have a question.
Well Father's Day is coming up.
Oh no, that's different than Dada Day.
Father's Day and Dada Day are very different.
I'm just saying, Chris has no idea
how many more chances he's gonna have
to pull off Dada Day.
Wow.
Oh, come on, stop being morbid here.
I'm not being morbid, I was just.
Greg's not gonna get in quicksand.
Same with my kids.
Yeah. I'm the kind of guy who not gonna get in quicksand say with my kids
I'm the kind of guy who could climb out of quicksand. Yeah, I don't know why how would you I?
Would study up on it. Yeah, I suspect that the strategy having not studied the strategy has to be as little movement as possible I don't know. I don't think I don't think you want to go like this and start thrashing and panic
Yeah, yeah remain calm the faster move, the more you sink.
I think without a vine, you're screwed.
The vine is very important though, to get off.
They need a vine.
Or a whip of some sort.
A rope, a rope with a knot on the end.
You ever wonder where it goes?
Tug of war rope?
The quicksand?
Yeah, where does it go?
I don't know.
Maybe you could end up there
and there's like a nice bubble of oxygen.
Maybe the key is just go along for the ride.
And the other thing is, shouldn't they be called slow sand?
Yeah.
Because quick sand is not quick.
You go slowly, right.
There's nothing quick about it.
It doesn't move quick, you don't get out of it quick.
So it's funny, I looked up the keys
to getting out of quick sand,
and the first one is stay calm.
The second one is lighten your load.
But take as many things out of your pocket.
Take the keys out of your pocket?
Yes, take everything out of your pocket, it says. And then it says wiggle your load. But take as many things out of your pocket. Take the keys out of your pocket? Yes, take everything out of your pocket, it says.
And then it says wiggle your feet.
Stay calm is such a cliche in the survival game.
It is.
What is that really doing for me?
Right, I hate when Ron McGill says, hey, yeah,
you face a bear, stay calm.
No, I'm going to freak out.
And that's the point.
If you freak out and panic, then your judgment is poor.
Because you're reacting too quickly.
You're not thinking, stay calm.
You think, what do I know about this bear should I yell hey bear should I
fight it like there's different things that you'd stay calm think about it
remember your training and maybe you'll have a better chance of surviving. I'll tell you what if this
plane is going down I'll tell you who's not staying calm this guy. Right. That's why you're not the co-pilot.
That's not a lot you can do. That's why Tony is manning this plane. That's why you're not the co-pilot. not a lot you can do. That's why Tony is panicking. That's why you're not the copilot.
If you look around and you don't see your copilot, it's you.
I look at Chris Cody and I'm like,
he's a little too nervous.
I can't have him on the sticks.
I would be like, please somebody else.
So do you get one Datterday a year like Father's Day?
I would like one Datterday a year.
Plus Father's Day.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Father's Day is different.
Can we do it the Saturday before Father's Day?
Just bang it out?
I would love that. It seems like you're going to have, if you don't, then father's day is different. Can we do it the Saturday before Father's Day, just bang it out? I would love that.
It seems like you're gonna have,
if you don't, then you have two Father's,
like Datter Day's roll over, correct?
Yeah. Yes.
So you'd have two Datter Day's next year.
Yeah.
Chris doesn't get it out of the way this year.
I could use two a year to be honest with you.
Yeah. Wow.
Especially the way my bamboo plant grows.
You deserve it.
I pitch.
Bamboo spreads like wildfire.
Yeah, it does.
Game four of Panthers Oilers in Edmonton is the day before
Father's Day and I pitched to my wife last night that being the game that I might be able to go to and that didn't go
Over well and it's like I thought this was Father's Day. I guess it's your day. I guess it's Mother's Day, right?
You don't miss Father's Day to go to Edmonton. That's what my wife said not to father's day
I mean, I'm a father you'll miss a week of work. You go to Edmonton I mean not if I go to the Saturday game. It's a long trip
I'm trying to go to on a weekend so I don't miss a bunch
Well, this is what years should have done is you should have pitched it as you know
My dad would really love to go and a great Father's Day gift for him would be me going with him to the game
Not too late. I'm not doing it. I'd like to go with my father
He doesn't want to go to it. Does it matter if if Greg goes? I mean, well, yeah, it's Father's Day
Chris cannot celebrate Father's Day with his father nor
No, no, no, Chris can go but Greg just has to hide the entire day to protect his son
Yeah, you know, we have a brunch planned for that Sunday. So like that's why I get it
Who wants to go to Edmonton?
Talking about Roy is dying
He's already pissed that we're potentially spending money on the Olympics when he could be going
on a trip to Edmonton right now.
You're messing around with the budget here.
Roy just walked in.
I heard it.
He goes to Carl.
He goes, Edmonton.
One word.
You were just going to say it.
That's all he has to say at this point.
That's all he should say.
Edmonton.
How did Carl react to that?
Carl was like, whoa, that's coming in a little hot, Roy.
Honestly.
Stand-up kill final. Roy. I'm going to try that, Augusta.
You did that.
It worked for you.
Not this year.
Tahoe.
I did do that.
I've done it several times.
Damn, Edmonton is far.
Dude, it's so far.
It's like an eight hour flight.
Yes.
It's like going to London.
It's ridiculous.
It's like eight hours from Montana. It's it's
Think about that inconvenient to get there. I know no directies. No no I can't imagine pay Rory
What's your opinion on this our Panthers fans actually gonna?
Go to Edmonton if there's a hundred red jerseys there, I'd be surprised yeah
No, probably not no there will be people a hundred Roy much Roy. You'll see some red jerseys there. Okay. Will you? You'll see one. I hope. Royce? No. I'll be in the press box. It is Father's Day. It's your day. Do what you want. I tried. No, Father's Day is family day. There you go. Is it really? Yeah, Father, you can't be selfish on Father's Day. You just can't. No, you can be. Every year on Father's Day what I asked for is silence. Thank you. Yes, just the gift of silence I
Watch the US open. I watch the final round. I get the gift of silence. That's all I want
Yeah, but how does it go over if you say you know what I want to go to Zimbabwe for Father's Day
I'll be four days
We'll see you later. You know what I want for Father's Day an eight-hour returning flight from Edmonton
How confident are you guys my wife would be on to me We'll see you later. You know what I want for Father's Day? An eight hour returning flight from Edmonton. Zimbabwe. Nothing sounds better.
How confident are you guys?
I think my wife would be onto me.
How confident are you guys in the Ice Cats?
Oh, I got them winning in six.
In six?
Okay, so that's, how do you,
where do you have the losses coming?
Probably one in, one at home and one in Edmonton.
Game one or one at home?
Probably game two.
Roy, you have the Panthers in six.
So this is what I'm thinking,
and I'd like to propose to you, Roy,
and Tony, by the way, welcome to the Pan Wagon.
Now the Stanley Cup is here.
I'm locked in, exactly right.
Are you?
Yeah, remember I said on the show,
the moment they get to the Stanley Cup, I'll be locked in.
The thing is, I need a recap
of what we've done in the last, like one, three rounds.
Just so they won.
They made it there.
Roy, hypothetical situation for you.
You have it going six, so you have the Panthers
losing two games, correct?
Yeah.
All right, should the Panthers win the first two games,
would you ever consider forfeiting the next two
so you don't have to fly to Edmonton?
And it's still a two-two split.
And then you come back for game five,
but then you have to go to Edmonton for game six.
Would you ever spot them any games
and not make that eight hour flight so they can rest up?
Man, that's good.
Oh, we got them.
We stumped them.
I gotta think about that one.
Probably not.
Roy wants to go to Edmonton.
Yeah.
I kind of do too, outside of the flight, like I wanna see a game. You don't wanna go to Edmonton. Yeah, I kind of do too outside of the flight like I want to see again
You don't want to go to Edmonton. Okay, you don't want to go to Edmonton man. No connecting flights. Yeah
No, it's just unconnecting how many connecting flights is it and where do you connect? I was one in Denver
Yeah, I was looking up flights last night
It's like eight and a half hours of travel with like an hour layover in Denver
It's or or you can have two layovers, one in Atlanta
and the other one in Denver.
Why don't the Panthers charter flights for their fans?
Sell the tickets, make it convenient,
have direct flights.
For Roy and Walter Katz.
He said only 100 people are going,
so you could get that all, that's one flight.
That's not a bad idea, actually.
Americans should do one directing.
Why don't we do it?
Why don't we charter a flight for Panthers fans
and we can charge them anything they want? People don't we do it? Why don't we charter a flight for Panthers fans and we can charge them anything they want?
People don't like connecting flights.
So let's charter a direct flight from here to Edmonton.
I don't know who we need to talk to.
Someone out there, if you're listening.
I think it's Carl.
Roy should just walk up to him and say private jet.
Charter, yeah.
No, not a private jet.
PJ.
No, no, no.
Look, this is actually a really good idea, okay?
We charter a plane, right?
When you charter a plane, you sell the tickets
and you can kind of control the price of the tickets,
I'm assuming, right?
So, in theory, we can do this at no cost to the company.
We just put the money up front, right?
And then we charge for the tickets an offsetting amount
to cover Roy's cost and the hotel cost.
Now, it's a lot.
We wanna make a little profit, though.
The catch is that you're the pilot
and that's how we're saving money.
It's a lot of work.
Co-pilot.
It's a lot of work and it's a big risk
but I think there will be people interested
in going to see the Panthers play in Edmonton
on a direct flight.
Let's just charter a flight.
Why can't we do that?
Would you pay half price for a flight
if they're like, all right,
but there's only gonna be one pilot here.
So if this pilot has an issue,
you just gotta kinda bet that this pilot will be fine.
Isn't that just spirit air?
I feel like that's like a-
I feel like I would pay half,
I would just roll the dice
that everything's gonna work out.
If I get a half price point-
Is Tony on my flight?
You know, if he is, I feel better about the situation.
Same, that's why I'm asking.
Yeah, co-pilot.
You would pay half price for a ticket.
For one pilot.
If you told me the rest of my life,
every flight you pay for will be half price,
but there's only gonna be one pilot.
I've never had a pilot have an issue
and need the backup pilot.
That you know of.
Yeah, how do you know?
You think they keep it secret?
Have you ever seen the pilot go to the bathroom
in the middle of a flight?
Yeah, he's gotta take a shit.
And there's just no one flying the plane?
Yeah, I've also, that's why it's autopilot.
Autopilot, come on.
A flight attendant sometimes will go in to like,
cause there has to be two people in there.
So you'll notice one,
They barricade the door too, so you can't
bum rush the door.
They slide out the little cart.
Cart, yeah.
Would you want to know if the main pilot
can't fly the plane?
I don't want to know what happens in that room.
I want honesty.
Do you?
No you don't.
Not there.
No you don't.
No, you want lies.
Exactly.
So you want like just a couple of flight attendants
going in that room and you're like,
why are people going in there?
Like you can tell something's going on,
but you don't want to know?
You want to know.
Your dad is right, you want lies.
Yeah.
I want a third pilot.
I'm not satisfied with two.
None of this makes sense.
Half price flights though, that's the kicker here.
Tony's with me. Half price flights the rest of's the kicker here. Tony's with me.
Half price flights the rest of your life.
I trust OnePilot.
So you're saying you're booking a flight on United,
let's say, it's 500 bucks,
because you've done it last minute.
You can fly 250 for a OnePilot.
For OnePilot.
Not happening.
They're just gonna end up price gouging
the OnePilot flights,
and you're gonna end up paying the same amount.
Well Tony's a pilot, so for Tony,
it's like half price and maybe get the thrill of flying.
Yeah, you're fine. But Tony's like a marshal where he has to be on every flight
Here's the thing though to your point Christopher, I think most flights. Thank you most full flights. There's somebody
I almost said in the audience. There's somebody on the plane that could who knows how to fly in an emergency
Who's done a flight simulator? I think so. There's a Tony on every plane that could who knows how to fly in an emergency who's done a flight simulator I think so there's a Tony on
every plane yeah I think guys man but guys some guy just had two vodka sodas
all of a sudden is in charge why he's winging it literally literally off a
crime I feel like I could fly a plane because somebody in the in the tower
would be instructing me airplane yeah you't the movie Airplane, Greg. It's not that easy.
Yeah, you know, you push a button.
They tell you in the tower, push a red button.
You know, and then you do it.
That kind of thing.
You feel like someone from the tower
can walk you through flying a plane, an Airbus.
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Dan Libertard.
He has been great. He's made great hires.
I said all of it.
We've said all of it.
He said all of it.
We've said all of it.
Everyone has said everything. First time hearing you this great. Everything you're saying... It's all been said. It's made great hires. I said all. We've said all. He said all. Everyone has said everything.
First time I heard any of this Greg. Everything you're saying. It's all been said. It's all been said.
Okay you gotta understand one thing. Stoogats. Me maximum. That's right. Until I say it, it hasn't
been said. Boom. Okay understand that. You're the mayor. Until I say it, it hasn'tsaving. Me maximum, me maximum, me maximum. This is the Don LeBathardt Show with the Stugarts.
["The Stugarts Show Theme"]
In about 10 minutes or so, Chris Whittingham,
fancy young lad, is gonna join us from his bathtub.
No context needed for that, just why?
Billy is shaking his head.
What?
How did you guys manage this?
Well, we made a bet, and Whittingham has to pay it off.
I know, but this is like a Dan thing,
so like, I'm doing it when Dan's not here.
I don't make the schedule, someone just said
Whittingham's coming on today at 940, so.
It's a grid of death punishment,
so I feel like Dan doesn't have to be here for it.
He's been wanting him in the bathtub every day for like four years. But he's a grid of death punishment. So I feel like Dan doesn't have to be here for it. I'm with you.
You've been wanting him in a bathtub every day.
But he's not in costume, right?
So is he gonna be really that upset?
Do we consider being in the tub a costume?
That's all Dan care.
He doesn't care about if what he's naked in a tub.
He cares about the costume.
Right.
Well, he cares about paying off your penalty.
And I think it was supposed to be like,
it was supposed to be an entire show
But he'll only be for a segment so all right, so we're already saying it doesn't count
Well, so do the rest of the show next week when Dan is back
I do like the idea of after he'd like at the very end of the segment just being like okay
This doesn't count you have to do this again for a full show what he's not an employee of ours anymore
He literally does not have to do any of this
What are the rules though of this bet? Because for me, he has to be shirtless
and it would be nice if he had a prop like a shower cap
or a loofah.
There needs to be water in the tub.
Rubber ducky.
Yes, rubber ducky.
Mandatory.
Yes, right.
Let's see.
I've got him setting up a full desk in the ballet.
He's got like a little like tea tray.
He's got his lights set up.
He's like no water involved.
Bath bomb?
He's comfortably maybe sitting on a pillow in the tub.
Do you love a good bath?
I don't actually.
Really?
No.
Why would I want to sit in my ass water?
Huh.
Yeah.
Put that on a t-shirt.
Put that on the pole.
That is a good question.
Was that a rhetorical question or meant for a pole?
Juju, I'm not certain of the question,
but whatever it was, put it on the poll.
Why would I want to sit in my ass water?
Was that the exact question?
Yes or no.
Okay.
I like a good outdoor bath.
You ever been in a place that has like...
It's a hot tub, no?
No, no, no.
Like in the Cialis commercial?
I am imagining Tony somewhere in like Aspen, Colorado.
Nice hot steamy bath.
It's cold outside though.
You're in the bathtub.
Oh, you look good.
There's some places that have like a bathtub on the balcony,
like hotels and places like that.
Fancy places.
I'm a big outdoor bath guy.
Hell yeah.
It sounds like a Cialis commercial.
It does.
Just sitting in it, watching the sunset,
holding hands in a tub.
When's the last time you took a bath? You dad. I have not taken a bath in I don't
know when. I don't take baths. I would be it would be weird it would be physically
weird for me to step into a bathtub. It should be one of our Olympic competitions. I'm so used to standing in a bathtub. And lay down. It should be one of our Olympic competitions. I'm so used to standing in a shower,
it would be physically weird to sit down in a bathtub.
Creepy.
I'm not a fan of the pruning that happens in a bath.
Oh, I hate it.
Yeah, and then your fingers are like wet and like mushy.
The oddest like bath shower routine I ever had,
I think this was like probably freshman year
of high school.
I would wake up early to take a shower
and I would be so tired that I would just lay down
on the floor in the shower for like a good,
after I was done washing, I would finish the shower off
with a good five minute, just lay.
Wait, what is happening here?
Okay, sitting in the shower.
You just laid on the floor?
It's different than a bath though.
Lay down. Why? It's better. Just because I was tired, didn't wanna get out yet, What is happening here? Okay, sitting in the shower is different than a bath though.
Why?
It's better.
Just because I was tired, didn't wanna get out yet,
the water was nice and hot and steamy,
I would just lay, it was weird.
I'm not like.
Face up or face down?
You shut the water off?
I think I'm face up.
I think he's getting hit by the water.
And I'm like, just kind of like,
it's pelting all over my midsection and my stomach.
Weird.
What a visual.
It was weird.
It's a terrible visual.
I mean, no one, come on.
Sitting is-
Someone else be vulnerable with me.
No, I've sat in the shower.
You're too tall.
The benches and the-
He's looking for help.
He sat in the shower.
At Circa.
We had like five AM wake up calls.
The benches were sick.
Really hot, like hot.
Oh, just sit there.
Good water pressure turned it on there.
If there's a bench.
And wake up and just be like,
I don't wanna be awake right now.
I know, it's easier with a bench.
It was weird.
I'm not saying this is normal.
Well, if there's a bench, you're supposed to sit.
It's an option to sit on the bench.
Yeah, that's not what that bench is for.
My man.
Baby.
But yeah, it's weird.
I look back on it and I'm embarrassed.
I don't know why I just admitted it.
I would just lay in the shower in high school.
That is, I raise you?
What is happening? And it would be like, mom would be like, it would be. Greg, the shower in high school. That is, I raise you? What is happening?
And it would be like, mom would be like, it would be-
Greg, you shower in the pool.
Yeah.
No, I don't shower in the pool.
It would be a thing where I bathe in the pool.
My mom would always, after like 20 minutes,
my mom would be like, hey, it's 715, doot, doot, doot.
And it's like, all right.
Wait, you'd do this in the morning?
Yeah, this would be-
Like you'd wake up and just lay down on the floor?
No, this is the strangest thing. This is like you wake up and just lay down on the floor
Because of how tired I was making a nominee for a suey award, please
I'm not proud of it, but we're more sad come on There's somebody else here that's done embarrassing things in the shower, and they're not admitting it. Hey, yo
Huh, what do you talk Greg? What do you think of those commercials?
Have you seen not that I'm implying that this is like for you?
Yeah, but what what do you think of those commercials of those you seen, not that I'm implying that this is like for you, but what do you think of those commercials
of those like things that they gear towards,
you know, the more senior generations
where they turn your shower into like a tub with a door.
Have you seen those that you close it
and then you can sit down and basically
it could fill all the way up to like,
you know, your chest or whatever.
Yeah, no, I don't do that.
When we had the master bath redesigned,
or whatever you call it when they redo a bathroom,
the guy asked me if I wanted a bench in the shower.
What'd you say, my man?
No, I was offended.
I'm like-
Offended, because of age?
Yeah, that's an ageist question.
And now you-
I need a bench?
I'm not sitting down in the shower.
It's why I take showers so I can stand.
Put my head right under the thing.
The stream of-
But you're gonna get to a certain age
where you wish you just had the bench installed
because the portable shower benches
for people like disabled people, they're an eyesore.
They're sad.
We had to put those in there for Nana.
Those are sad.
I know, they are sad and I'm not ready for that.
You know, that kind of thing.
You can just call them in a couple years.
Well, it sounds like you have the square footage
to put a
bench in when necessary. You know I'd put a park bench in there before I'd put a bench that's
made for a shower. Ridiculous. A park bench? Yeah. I want a full-size park bench in my shower with a
fake pigeon standing on it. Give me the park ambiance on taking a shower
what yeah you know you're eating a sandwich in the park on a bench and
flies by strangers in the world you could just meet make a new friend right
I'm gonna start eating sandwiches in the shower they get soggy but you can eat
them quicker that way it's like a hot dog eating contest. Fraudulent. They soak the bun. You're
not eating a hot dog if the bun is soaked and you're eating it separate from the dog
itself. The famous hot dog eater...
Joe Chesnut.
I wanted him to try to find it.
Chesnut.
Chesnut is the guy I'm thinking of. Joe Chesnut.
He's a fraud!
No one calls him Joe
He's a fraud unless you're eating a hot dog as it's meant to be eaten
Yeah with a foot with a an intact bun a little bit of mustard
It's you're not eating a hot dog or do it in the shower
Then it's okay because it's not you know it gets wet because you're in the shower not cuz you're right exactly
You have some hot takes today. Joe chestnuts a fire
He calls Connor McDavid overrated before the show
Yeah, no, I love it Roy. Let me explain it to you
And not that you need you know more about hockey and this is coming from a guy that's watched Connor play six times
right if that
I looked up all his stats. I know how great he is in terms of numbers uh... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i Wayne Gretzky, how about you should be raising a few cups. Wayne Gretzky took like five years in Edmonton to win four Stanley Cups. This guy comes in as the
next Wayne Gretzky. His nicknames include the Chosen One and McJesus, okay? He's a
great player, he scores a lot of goals, he scores a ton of assists, but it hasn't
translated to making Edmonton a powerhouse in the league.
They're in the final.
It's a team sport.
If you're going to blame anybody, blame the front office.
They don't have a good goal tending.
Skinner was good during the conference final.
If you're the next Wayne Gretzky, if you're the best player in the world, you should make the Stanley Cup.
Which he just did.
He just did, yes.
But to Greg's point, it took him eight or nine years.
For the first time.
He'd only made the West Finals one time previously
in nine years.
So I think Gretzky's first or second year, Roy,
with the Oilers, the Iowans had won four straight.
They were dry for five, going for a fifth straight.
And they lost.
So the fourth Stanley Cup, they beat Edmonton.
But everyone knew that Gretzky was coming.
The next year, the Oilers played the IowOnders again. I-Onders going for five straight.
Oilers beat him. I think they swept him and then Wayne Gretzky was off and
running. That's what Greg is saying. And when I say Conor McDavid is overrated
the only thing I mean is this is a guy with such hype that he needs a Stanley
Cup win to catch up to that hype.
Right now he hasn't done it.
I'm not saying his career has been a disappointment,
but he hasn't gotten the Orlers to where
they probably expected to be in their ninth year
with McJesus, that's all I'm saying.
I mean, understandable, but he is a Hall of Famer.
For sure.
Okay, what's your nickname for him?
McOverrated.
Which, not a great nickname, I admit.
It doesn't roll off the tongue.
Mine is Joe Chestnut for some reason.
Should we put that on the bowl?
Joe Chestnut, isn't that his name?
Who's more overrated, Joe Chestnut or Connor Mcoverrated?
Yes, put it on the bowl.
Joe Chestnut, I thought that was his name.
What do you make of Kobayashi retiring?
Said his body hurt.
No, he said he no longer has hunger.
He's not gonna eat another hot dog in his life, that guy. And I can't blame him.
Imagine that.
Hot dogs are good as one.
One or two.
I can eat two.
I can eat two if they're plain.
My wife puts chili and cheese and everything, onions.
I don't do any of that.
A little drizzle of mustard needs to be artful I like to go like this swirl
Wiggles yeah waves yeah yeah you like straight line waves don't don't I know
PTSD there Tony with the waves but you need wave yeah you don't want a straight
line you're a Mondrian Greg you're a Matisse Wow hmm thank you for that it's
gotta be spicy too right no I like I like you like French mustard yellow mustard. I don't like spicy brown kind of guy
No, man, not on a hot dog. Nope
And you have one other seasoning that you throw on there. It's a must celery. So yeah, he's not wrong
That's on the Chicago dog the celery song. It's a must
I was happy in the Chicago dog
We were just talking about this on this rate last week because Billy had a couple hot dogs
and was in tummy ache city.
Yeah, I had two.
No, get the ketchup out of there.
7-Eleven?
No.
I have an update for everyone.
Yesterday, for the first time,
What happened?
I had Chipotle.
Oh!
You've never had Chipotle before?
Wait, did you give him the nod?
Did you do the nod?
Uber eats it.
Yes, no nod.
Yeah.
You should have put that in the notes on Uber Eats.
Give them the nod.
I just put it in notes, nod.
Or digital, yeah.
They rip you off when you do take up, by the way.
Really?
Just letting you guys know that.
You got to show up and have your presence felt at the Chipotle.
How was it?
Because if not.
Put the pressure on.
They're sitting there like, oh, this guy wants chicken.
They want chicken? Great, I'm going to give you four pieces of chicken. Good luck, buddy
So good and spicy yeah
I love it, but my wife claims, but it's spicy it is it's just got a kick. It's just seasoned
Yeah, I think it's spicy
No, it's spicy
If you get the spicy sauce. Yeah, like this
Carney, Assata is spicy. I think my wife thinks the chicken spicy what I know I disagree with her
Yeah, chickens doll needs help
Back alright
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