The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: She's a Hoarder, Aunt Bonnie

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

It's a Greg Cote Tuesday, so as we try to have an in-depth conversation about the floundering Miami Heat, we end up learning about why Greg Cote will be cremated, details of the hoarding Aunt Bonnie, and end up on a discussion about how the entire crew negotiates buying cars. Also, would Udonis Haslem fight Paul Pierce in a grocery store? Then, Pablo Torre joins the show to discuss Ben Simmons and his return to game action and Dana White changing his tune, not to protect free speech but to protect his wallet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. Happy Greg Cody Tuesday. We finally, after many years, have Stu Gott's paying a punishment. That punishment is sensual in nature. He has a towel. He is whipping, he is Larry Bird. Mike Ryan, you remember this Larry Bird footage from a million years ago of him on the sidelines in his short shorts.

Stugatz is rocking the short shorts, looks sexy as hell. Thank you, Stugatzots for finally paying a penalty Please put the towel away. You're gonna knock over my coffee. It's Larry. I I hate to do this But as you know, I rule with an iron fist and Larry did that in a white uniform. So this doesn't count Are you winded from whipping that towel stugots you sound a bit winded? Larry bird didn't look great in that uniform. You look worse. Yes, I am winded.

Okay, these are trying to get my headsets in, Dan. Yeah, the wig is wonderful. I think it was the hip thrust. A couple of those hip thrusts, he was a little tired. It was a little bit too much pelvic movement for my comfort, close to my ears and stuff. I believe though that I can now, and it hurts me to say this,

I think I can call it, the Celtics have finished the heat. That whole thing is over now. I don't think the heat are gonna rebound. You really sound winded. I am winded. Mike finished the heat, not the Celtic. Well, I think I have this right.

Is this stat correct? Since you don't as Haslam, disrespected Bill Russell, since Spoe signed an enormous contract, and since Mike Ryan said the heat are good, they have not won a single game, and furthermore, have gotten slaughtered in all of them. It's not like they're losing close games, they're losing it home to Memphis,

they're never in that game against Phoenix And I don't know how to explain how bam looked last night Since they traded for Terry Rose here. They haven't won a game either. They look truly terrible This is the longest losing streak of Eric's bolsterous career immediately after signing an eight-year $120 million contract Seven games in a row. They haven't lost six in a row since 2021. Obviously they did go to the Eastern Conference Finals

that year, but this has been a mess. Like their offense looks totally disjointed. It hasn't gotten better with Terry Rosear in there, despite the fact that he played okay last night, obviously. But their defense has really been the biggest issue You see guys getting beat off the point of attack Then they're scrambling to try to cover for the guys who typically are very good wing defenders and they're leaving guys wide open for Three there was a stat Ron Rothstein mentioned in the postgame show last night of paint touches for the other team versus the Miami Heat

When there's paint touches going for three point attempts during the seven game losing streak, the opposing team is shooting 59% while the heaters shooting just 37%. So they're struggling from three, they're struggling to move the ball, the guys aren't cutting the way they were used to. It's been pretty dreadful over the last seven games.

On the plus side though, they did get under the luxury tax. On the minus side though, 21, minus 21 when Terry Roseyer was on the court. Nurgut's restart games of under 20. Nurgut's look pretty good. You know, for throwing in the deal that Miami didn't want. I don't know what you do with the fact that they have stunk when their three guys are out there.

They have been really bad. Tyler Hero's explaining after the game that he's going to change his game to be catch and shoot guy and that's not ideal, but they haven't been very good when he's not just catch and shoot guy. It's going to take a minute to adapt to Terry Rose here, but I did not have them losing at Memphis and then just getting dragged by everybody. He were a favorite in last night's game because Phoenix lost at Orlando the night before. Back to back, teams come in here tired.

Phoenix didn't look very tired last night. Phoenix is a, I'm wondering if Phoenix is a team that we have to keep an eye on because- This sounds very sharp. This sounds, I don't know whether it's your voice or whether it's your mic. I heard it your mic I heard it out but I'm just I'm telling you that Phoenix might be a team that we should keep an eye on Dan they've been playing very loud you sound very loud you sound like it's a bold it's a bold

sense by two guys to keep it on the team with a random Bradley Beal yeah I'm just saying they've won eight of ten. They're the sixth seed right now in the Western Conference. And I'm wondering if the Phoenix Suns are a team that could win an NBA championship. In fact, I'm going to say it. I said yesterday that the Clippers are a team that are going to win the NBA championship. But if they don't, the Phoenix Suns will.

Are you just learning about that? Are you just learning about the Suns? Well, they're just getting healthy right now. They're just getting healthy. They had to go to a shaky start. I particularly don't enjoy it. I know what I'm talking about. Are you just learning about the Sun? I Shaky start I particularly don't know what I'm talking. I don't enjoy playing the Phoenix Suns because they more than any other team Represent the Miami Heat's greatest failings over the last few years be it drafting Justice Winslow over Devon Booker be it constantly missing out on Kevin Durant being it be it or Devin Booker, be it constantly missing out on Kevin Durant, be it you choose not to pursue Bradley Beale,

be it that their new owner is constantly taking Mickey Erison's lunch money, it's just a constant reminder of this franchise's failings over the last few years. All right, all you naysayers, let me remind you about something, the heat is the hardest working, best conditioned, the most professional, unselfish, toughest, meanest, nastiest team in the NBA. Did you ever notice how heat culture

sounds a lot better when they're winning? Right now, heat culture reminds me of when the dolphins not only sucked, but were boring, and after every score, they would still play that song of I am talking super bowl, because it seemed ridiculous then. You should know the song better than that. Yeah, I could sing the whole, I could sing the whole song.

Please do, please do, please do. Hold on, everybody get out of the way. Dan, at the time it was boring, so he was bored with the song. Everybody get out of the way, just so that you understand, Stugatz is saying keep an eye on the suns. Devin Booker, before last night, was averaging 50 points a game in his last three games,

and isn't their best player. Go ahead, Greg Cody, get us started with sing the whole song more correctly. Honor it, respect the song, please. Okay, I wish I had the lyrics in front of me. You're asking a lot here. You just said you could sing the whole song. I lied.

Let me think, though. Okay. We take the ball from do-la-go like no one's ever seen. We're in the air, we're on the ground, we're always in control. And when you say Miami, you're talking Super Bowl cuz we're the Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins number one. Yes, we're the Miami and the heat should start playing that song at their games right now in the middle of a seven game losing streak. The disappointment to me is that the heat among all the other disappointments of this season, they have no respite at home. They're 12 and 11 at home. It's not and you play a back to back

game at home and you don't win. There's nothing going right. It's just, it's the low point of Spulcher's career. It's gotta be. Let's put up on the screen, please, by way of greeting and hello for Greg Cody. What Angel Resto painted him as a caricature? He lost in the finals. He did lose in the finals.

But what he's saying is this is the worst stretch of his career, is what he's saying. This is the worst he's ever felt. They were 11 and 30 in the first half of one season, and they had multiple six-game losing streaks in that respect. Obviously, this is seven, and it's bad because the expectations are a lot higher, but low point of his career is... I am willing to say that that loss at home to Memphis is the lowest that Eric

Soltra has felt at any time in his life now. Let's put up the picture here Just went through the four. I know this I'm aware of that adding to the loners. That's correct Thank you. Thank you making it even worse. That is correct Here is the picture of Greg Cody the rendering of Greg Cody. He looks particularly embalmed. He looks a bit angry. The eyebrows look just like wild shrubbery and he looks 143 years old. Right.

Now, here's the thing about that caricature. If I'm laying down in a casket, that's what I expect to look like. It's just, it's me at age 85. My face is huge, my hair is really, really gray, the eyebrows, my wife's gonna have me cremated, I'm sure. You know, I'm gonna burn it about 1800 degrees in a tube. So I'll never be in a casket, but if I were,

that would be the look. Have you guys talked about this? We have not, it's just an look. Have you guys talked about this? We have not. It's just an assumption. You know, it's an assumption. Why would you assume that? It's a family tradition. Five dollars.

It's a family tradition. You know, we have an earned... We have an earned... ...offing right in the microphone. Got to earn? Got to earn. That's right. You got to... You should request being burned at 1440. You know what I mean?

To honor your family. It would take longer. It would take a lot longer. You'd appreciate it more, I think. It'd be a slow burn. You all gotta wanna learn, gotta wanna earn. I do wanna earn. And you wanna burn. Exactly.

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You can get up to 40% off a beautiful gorgeous bouquet of one-of-a-kind arrangements that are guaranteed to wow your significant other Please do not be like me. Don't put it off delivery dates are limited get up to 40% off today at 1-800 flowers calm slash Dan that's 1-800-Flowers.com slash Dan. That's 1-800-Flowers.com slash Dan. Don Lebatard! Do you realize that for 30 minutes, now we might not have been doing good show, but we were doing show for about 30 minutes,

and then you just decided to tell the story as if we were in the eating area. Stugatz! Many refer to it as a kitchen. Right. Eating area. Who calls it an eating area? Nobody.

Nobody! An eating area. What's the better in the sleeping area? Let's hang on, I gotta go to the urinating area. I'll be right back. Eating area. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. I feel like Angel actually did you a service looking at that side by side. Looks better?

Yeah. Younger. Yeah. The hair especially, much fuller look and you actually have more liver spots than Angel accounted for. Well, I see one under my right eye there. There's a little spot there. No, but he's saying you have in actuality more liver spots on your actual face than

you do in the caricature. Right. I'm a living man. A liver man. I see four of them right now. Let's count the liver spots. Oh, there's a fifth. Have a nap.

Okay, yeah. There's one big one here and then like a little slurry of them over there. That's why I started wearing makeup. I do my own makeup now. You know, it's sad. But you go through that. You know, you live and you learn, right? That kind of thing.

But no, I love Angel Resto. He's super talented. He's the one who did the Greg Cody Show podcast logo, which I appreciated. Although it cost me a bunch of money, it's not like he did it for free, but no, he's really good. He's really, really good. And I appreciate that character. I really do.

Did you think it was worth the money? Or like once you saw it, you're like, oh. Well, it's like, you know, maybe it might have been a little north of what I would have guessed he would have charged, but that's, he's an artist. You know, you're paying for talent. You know, you're paying for an angel arrest though. So, worth every penny of it, truly. What are we paying for on Tuesday?

A Greg Cody. Are you also winded? Greg Cody experience. From watching Greg? From watching Stu God's do his towel thing? I'm not winded at all. I mean, I've been on, I've been talking a lot, like the last minute and a half. I think Greg's about to get his second wind, you know? Yeah, thank you. Thank you. So you didn't try to haggle at all, huh?

No, I'm not a big haggler. Marvin is, but I'm not a big haggler. Leave your money on the table. Marvelous. Exactly. No, I don't haggle. That's why I was bad at swap meets. You know, back in the swap meet era, like some guys asking for 35 cents for an old record, I'm wondering, am I going to try to talk them down to a quarter? It's more embarrassing for me to try to save a dime. But when Aunt Bonnie

moved out of her house in Pemberg Pines. We had this massive yard sale. This is not a flattering angle for Larry Bird. The worst. Listen, retirement has not been good to me. I mean, it just, it hasn't. The hair though, I mean, come on. I can't look at myself. The green, the green. I thank you for pointing it out.

I mean, well, but it's right there. I can't, I can't avoid it. It's right on the screen. The green is not slimming. I'm wearing a large, okay? I've been saying for a year now, they're not making exiles like they used to make them. I now wear a double XL, this outfit,

this costume is a large, this is dreadful, man, but it's a punishment and I gotta pay it off. Historically accurate. Well, what happened at Bonnie's Garage Sale, though? Yeah, that's right, at Bonnie's. Well, it was a massive garage garage sale, though? Yeah, that's right. I'm a four-year-old. Yeah. Well, it was a massive garage sale, and I experienced firsthand people trying to talk you down from an already ridiculously low thing.

She's a hoarder at Bonnie, and so at her garage sale, she had like three or four beer can chicken things. The little wire with the beer can that you put in, you put it in the middle of a chicken cavity or a turkey cavity. So she's asking like a dollar for each of those. And people are trying to talk you down to 50 cents. I don't get it. It's a dollar. A penny saves a penny earned, Greg.

It's never been used. You know, if you go to Target, it probably costs you $399, or whatever, a typical price is always ends in $99 or $95, like gas, $99.99 or something. But so we had to, you know, you go no, it's a dollar. Just round it up, a gas. Exactly. You know, charge me $4 a gallon, not $395.99. If you're at $99, will you go a little extra and just try to round it off oh that's a that's a competition I play with myself right yeah but then it goes over and you're at 501 and then I gotta go to 505 I gotta

end on a zero or a five four dollars yeah no I I never end on a ragged number it's always a zero or a five how How are you with negotiating cars? Now that I'll negotiate because you're talking about a real savings. You know, I once walked out of a Dodge dealer, back in the days before we had kids, we're buying a Dodge caravan. I knew you were a Dodge man. Well, we're buying a Dodge caravan because kids are coming. So we needed a minivan. And we had arranged the deal, but I was still in negotiating mode

So I'm like you got a deal if you throw in the upgrade floor mats Okay, that would have cost the dealership maybe a total of 175 bucks or something to throw in those if that if that He goes to see his manager. They wouldn't do it Okay, I was calling his bluff, then he called my bluff, and much to my wife's dismay. Over floor mats? I got up, and I walked out of that dealership. I've never been back again. I'm not going to name the dealership because I don't want to send business over there. Isn't that a great feeling, even though you leave without something that you need in the car, just getting up and walking out

and saying, this deal's not not gonna happen because of me now you Then need to figure out a new car situation and go and go through the whole rigmarole elsewhere But yeah when you get up and you have that power telling the deal and nope and then they come chasing you down You have to hold strong you're not getting a car from that dealership if they don't throw those floor mats You're not getting a car there exactly put it on the pole Please juju have you ever stormed out of a negotiation? Never. Not at Williamson Cadillac. Williamson is Miami. Tony, aren't you trying to buy a car now? Dano, I'm the person that people call when they want to buy a car. So I love

the car buying experience. Like there is something so satiating to me. You sit across from that car salesman and be like, I'm not paying that. I want you to know that. This is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed that you would bring this to me and sit across from that car salesman and be like I'm not paying that I want you to know that this is embarrassed you're I'm embarrassed that you would bring this to me and ask me to pay this so your friends bring you in as a negotiator that's right Louis is gonna buy a car soon I'm gonna do it with him my wife my brother my brother-in-law everybody because they trust you to be the stoic ass who scares the guy who negotiates for a living. Dan, the thing is I'm a bit of a dork

when it comes to the car buying experience. So I know things that the dealer's gonna try to do to try and kinda give you the house your uncle without really telling you, right? There's a couple things residual, the cap cost, the money factor, there's things, especially when you're negotiating a lease, that you can look in where the dealership's gonna try

and hide money because they want it on the back end, AO. But if you know when you're negotiating a lease, that you can look in where the dealership's gonna try and hide money, because they want it on the back end. A-O. But, if you know what you're looking for, if you know what you're looking for, you can get it and you'd be like, hey, this right here is absolute bullshit. I'm not paying that, you need to come down. Greg Cody wanted an explanation for,

hey, how's your uncle? He was confused by that saying. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, whoa, How's your uncle? My wife prefers stugots. My wife prefers the bargain portion of the buying experience than getting whatever it is that she's actually getting. She will not buy something unless it

is reduced from what she thinks it is worth. But Bud Grant, the late Bud Grant told us how to handle all forms of haggling when you're having some sort of sale in your house, whether it's a garage sale or anything else. Take a walk. That's how Bud Grant would do it anytime. We present him hypotheticals. It's for a dollar, somebody tells you they're gonna give

you 99 cents, but how do you react to It's for a dollar. Somebody tells you they're gonna give you 99 cents, but how do you react to that? Take a walk. You have to. You gotta draw the line. I miss him. Draw our line. We all do.

Car buying is... Get some bargains. Oh, sorry. Car buying, sorry about that, bud. Car buying is more about leverage than anything, right? If you get paid two dealerships against one another, you'll get exactly what you want at the price that you want. There's nothing more powerful than anything, right? If you can pay two dealerships against one another, you'll get exactly what you want at the price that you want. There's nothing more powerful than saying,

hey, dealership up the roads offered me this, and you guys are competing with them, right? For my business, right? And you're not gonna match them, I'm just gonna go over there. And they're like, whoa, wait a second, I think we can talk to the manager. The manager knows everything, right?

He's the person that's the brain of the operation. They don't actually talk to the manager a lot of the time. Of course they do, Billy. No, they tell him, they say, hey, I'm gonna actually talk to the manager a lot of the time They do of course they do Billy. No, that's why they say hey I'm gonna go talk to the manager and then they go they have a coffee like water from the water water fine They come right back and they lower it here's a thing I'm gonna make him do it. I'm gonna make them do it 30 times like he's gonna go up and talk to that manager 30 times While I'm there, I believe that when you go to a car dealership. They love it. They go, oh, this is one of those guys. No, they love when you go there.

We get to dance. One of those guys. No, they like to dance. Oh, this is one of those guys. We get to dance now. We're going to start out at some absorbent price, some ridiculous price. They do. He's going to bring it down to what we were going to offer him anyways, if not a little

more than we were going to offer him. Yeah. And he's going to think he gets a W, then we'll throw in some floor mats and everyone will be on their way. No, you don't get it. They see you and they're like, you know what this guy needs today? He needs a car and he needs a win. And we're going to give him that win. No. But we're going to start so high so that his win is our win. By the way, car prices are through the roof right now. If you're going to buy a car,

they're very expensive. So two years ago during the pandemic, you could have gone to car for a steal. Like I was telling me, I could, I was giving away cars during the pandemic. Okay, so you know. There was a shortage of cars. It was impossible to get a car two years ago. Yes, new cars, not the point. The point is, I'm gonna make that guy go to the manager 30 different times, we're gonna fight on the price,

and at the end he's gonna say, you got an employee discount, buddy, I don't know what to tell you. Take a walk. I couldn't be less like Tony in this regard. Like we're currently trying to buy a house and we were talking with the seller and our real estate agent about possible prices on a roof

because the roof needs to be redone and they're only gonna give us so much money and our real estate agents negotiating and we wanted a certain number and so our real estate agent said that he was willing to give up a certain amount on his commission to be able to reach that number. And I said to my wife, like, oh, well, you know, it's fine.

We can do without that extra few grand because he's done a really good job. And she's like, you're just going to give up a few thousand dollars. And I was like, well, he's really nice. Stugatz, this is true. And I don't even remember the details, but Stugatz thinks he's Tony, but is actually you, Jeremy, because he goes into the negotiations feeling like I'm going to get them down and then next thing you know they're offering him less than they were before

and I've got a non-compete clause because he's negotiating the deal. Like he... yeah that's right. It's a strange, it's a strange thing. My father's the same way. My father has come home trying to negotiate a lower price for a mattress and ended up paying more than what the original price was. I don't understand how it is that they get discombobulated by the salespeople, but I want to get, you look like a golden girl, by the way, Stugatz. A golden girl with stubble is what you look like. We are, thank you. I can't look at myself, Dad. It's fun.

The wig is amazing. The wig really, the wig and you showing that much skin on the arms really brings the whole thing together. Before the show, for some reason, Dan, he was wearing his hat on top of the wig and we were confused as to why he was doing that and we were saying in this room that he looks like the middle-aged adult in Spanish television that plays the role of a child, like an adolescent. Like the shows where it's all middle-aged adults

playing 10-year-olds is what he looked like when he had that hat on. And we don't know why he had that hat on. I always have the hat on. He was trying to conceal how ridiculous he looks. He was trying to make a little more normal. I was starting to say that I believe the Celtics heat rivalry is now over and Udonis Haslam says it is not on the OG's podcast

with Mike Miller. Here's what he's had to say last week about if he sees Kevin Garnett and Paul Pearson public my era We used to hate them that we start to go against in the rivalries and all that shit it is day You know I'm saying y'all know how I feel we got to play the Celtics. I can't stand them up And I have nothing and I have listen and the crazy thing about it. I tell the story about it I like Tate. I like brown. I tell a story about it in the huddle man. What I like Tate. I like Tatum I like brown What I like Tatum I like brown G and Paul

I'm cool on that young generation y'all can create y'all own beef a y'all can create y'all own Whatever the mo mo Whatever the mo mo Do you believe put it on the pole juju would you don't as Haslam fight Paul Pierce near the cheese dip and 711? Paul Pierce for sure KG. I don't know much, but Paul's been talking shit for a long time. You're saying he would not fight KG? I think there's a little bit more love between KG and OG than there is with OG and Paul Pierce. A little bit of respect at least, you would think. Could you imagine turning on like ESPN or TMZ and it's just like,

Yudanus Haslam and Kevin Garnett start fighting in the middle of a grocery store. The cause was they just didn't like each other from their playing days like the idea is insane They're both like very successful their business owners Like you can't just go and start fighting in the middle of a grocery store the seven game losing streak makes you realize They really miss you don't it has them, huh? invaluable in that locker Mike Ryan, how do you feel presently about the state of your Miami Heat? I had it wrong. They're not good. They are a playing team. I said definitively, they're

not a playing team. They're a playing team. Well, they may not be. Hopefully. They may not be. Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully. It's just there. They're reaping what they sow character needs work Don Lebatard Stugats!

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats! Stugats, you know that Mike Ryan has ripped Carmelo Anthony a great deal recently, got to a huge argument with Amin Alhassan about the relevance of Carmelo Anthony. Carmelo is mad because he is saying that the Nuggets gave Yokech his number in a petty move to erase Mellow. And now Charles Barkley is saying of Jalen Brunson, he's making the Knicks more relevant than any time the Knicks have been since Patrick Ewing. So Charles Barkley is also erasing Carmelo. Anthony, I want to just show you a picture

of Charles Barkley here in studios to God's with Luca. Because I don't think that the younger generation understands when they see Charles Barkley and hear a loud mouth that that led the league in rebounding. Shorter than Luca, I've stood next to Charles, he's barely bigger than me now. His ass is around where my shoulders are, but Charles Barkley, look up some of the stats for me,

Jeremy, the rebounding stats on Charles Barkley because Pablo Torrey joins us now. Pablo Torrey finds out is his podcast. It's streaking up the charts. It's very popular. He's doing smarter stuff than most people. But what do you think there, Pablo, when you look at the photo of Charles Barkley standing next to Luca and looking so small next to Luca?

Yeah, I think that Charles Barkley needs to get someone to make one of those like highlight reels set to like modern rap music. So kids can appreciate what he was, because I'm just on the border Dan, I was born in 85. But I remember like there are videos of Charles Barkley doing things that are genuinely jaw dropping if you only know him as the guy who struggles to pick up his leg to fake karate kick shack.

And this is just an example of how it is that he was overcoming people who were larger at his time, let alone in comparison to Luca, who's also shockingly tall as a side note. He averaged 12 rebounds a game for his career. I mean, he led the league one year with 14 and a half rebounds per game. And again, he was barely, I mean, barely six-five if he was six-five, I don't, I'm not sure. I wanna read you guys a quote, and I want you to tell me who it is that it came from.

Quote, it's always a fast break when I have the ball. This is a quote from last night, actually. It's always a fast break when I have the ball. Josh Richardson. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Funnier than that. I've got something funnier than that. For the other team.

I might know. That's pretty funny. Was it Ben Simmons? It was Ben Simmons. Oh really? He's back? In his first game back. Your next.

I mean. In his first game back, he had 10, 11, and eight, and he announced his arrival for the Nets with, it's always a fast break when I have the ball. It is. But I'm not shooting. Pablo, I know people have gotten tired of it, but I think it's one of the most fascinating stories

in the sport, the mental short circuiting of this player. Yeah, look, I have been for a long time, his foremost, I guess, surrogate, unlike sports talk, talk radio and television because I've always believed that Ben Simmons is mostly a flying car without a stereo like you can do everything except for the thing where like I would like listen to music now and he just won't shoot or dunk or even just take shots that jeopardize his confidence so the question question for me, and I loved to see him

back last night, almost getting a triple double immediately, the question for me has always been just like, how aware is he of his shortcomings? And I think the infuriating part of Ben Simmons for so many people is that he refuses to admit that he has shortcomings. And that dynamic is so funny to me, even if it maybe is the only way you can cope with the fact that has shortcomings. And that dynamic is so funny to me, even if it maybe is the only way you can cope with the fact that those shortcomings are obvious to literally everybody else. He came out guns blazing last night,

five of five from the field. I mean, that's a lot of shot attempts for Ben Simmons, seriously. That's a funny quote from him. I mean, you would think he would arrive quietly and no, that's not the way he's arrived. Wait, do people want him to just meekly? This is, this is the thing I'm saying though.

Do people want him to meekly say like, I wanna just declare for everybody here that I suck and I have not played in a very long time. So please just be gentle on me as I try to humbly reinsert myself into the world of basketball. Or do you want him to be this character who actually was once upon a time, literally not so long ago, an all NBA caliber player? It'd be great to see Ben Simmons back with a level of confidence.

He said, as soon as I checked in, I told them, you know what time it is. That's another quote from Ben Simmons last night. I love this. I love this man. I am now being re-radicalized into why I rooted for him. Because he's trolling everybody, but also I think he just needs to say it to feel better about himself. Because he was number one overall pick. Like there's no other, he was hailed as an ex-Librand and of course he is not that. But man, that guy just needs to believe that he is still exactly the story that he

tells himself to make himself feel better about himself. So, that's Ariel Hoani, I believe, to be one of the finest sports journalists working anywhere. He is honorable, he is fair, he is perspective rich, and he went on Pablo Tory finds out and gave up the stories of all of the different ways that Dana White tried to bully journalism did successfully bully journalism out of the ESPN building. But before we get to that Pablo, I just want to point out what the lane that Dana White is taking now versus the lane he took 10 years ago because he's seen the lane that Dana White is taking now versus the lane he took 10 years ago because

he's seen the lane that profits off of being a professional asshole. Look at this. This is just a couple of weeks ago. This is Dana White basically defending his middleweight champion for hate speech. Dana, I just want to go back. You were talking about like you obviously give a long leash to your fighters about You know what they can say when they are up there with the UFC microphone And you are getting into territory of homophobia transphobia like is there I don't give anybody a leash

Well, I'm saying you a leash. I'm like free speech Control what people say. Kind of tell people what to believe. Kind of tell people, I don't tell any other human being what to say, what to think, and there's no leashes on any of them. What is your question? I was asking that question. I'll move on though. Yeah, probably a good idea.

That's ridiculous to say I give somebody a leash. Free speech, brother. People can say whatever they want and they can believe whatever they want. And I don't think there's any... We had two gay women who fought in the Comaine event. They sat on the stage with Sean Strickland. They could give a s*** with Sean Strickland, thanks for what he says or what his beliefs are or what his opinions are. You know what I mean? So that was recently but here's Dana White ten years ago and the tone is different when he is, I believe it was Matt, was he talking about Matt Mitrione, some things that were said that he was not at all down with? This is ten years ago.

You know I know that there was a lot of talk, free matrione and all this stuff with the fans and it's freedom of speech and all this stuff. That's absolutely ridiculous. Work at any company anywhere in America and go out and say ignorant stupid stuff publicly. Even on top of that say it publicly in a big you know place where people can go read it or hear it publicly and see what happens to you, you know. And you know, it's like, oh, we agree with what Mitreone said, well, you can agree with what Mitreone said. If that was something that he really felt strongly about, and he said, I want to speak

up, I want to be heard about this because I don't believe, and I don't disagree with everything that he said. It's not that he didn't have a point. It's how he said it. You know, the extra things that he said, and if he was standing in front of a panel, okay, and he was going up to speak on this subject, he wouldn't have said the things that he said, and he would have said it differently. There's a way to voice your opinion without sounding like a bigot. You know what I mean? And he came off sounding like a complete jackass and a bigot.

And that kind of stuff isn't going to be tolerated. The other thing was, you know, I used the F word and we're not talking about f*** here. And I grew up in the 80s. I used to use that word all the time. So when that happened, I'm the furthest thing, I know I might look like one. The big bald dude from the UFC probably is a homophobe. I'm the furthest thing from it.

Pablo? Yeah, I mean, first off, that sort of musical ed underneath is what I want Barclay to get from the kids today. Like there's a beat about to drop. I want that sort of thematic effort in proving that Barkley is actually an all-time great athlete.

But about Dana White, it's very funny to me, right? Like there's a unifying theory of Dana White that Ariel walked me through because Ariel was the guy interviewing Matt Mitreone. He was the guy interviewing Dana White, asking about punishments. And that's the sort of thing that Dana White was doing when he wanted to sell UFC to the mainstream before 2016.

And why did that matter? It's because they didn't have a deal with Disney and ESPN yet. Dana White knew exactly what the household across America were wanting from the UFC, which is to say, clean it up. We don't say that stuff here. That stuff is bigoted, it's awful awful. Like respectable society won't allow that. And then 2016 happens, filling the giant blank as to what happened in 2016. But you know what happened. Dana White spoke at the Republican National Convention. And then suddenly he's realizing, wait a minute, there's a massive pivot I can make here for the same reason I was punishing this speech before, which is money, which is profit.

And so it's remarkable. Look, it's remarkable that Dana White, because of that leash back and forth, by the way, which was incredible. And Ariel does a great job on my show, breaking down why it was a master class in basically vivisecting a journalist. Dana White, off of that, has become, I would say, the foremost champion of free speech, certainly in American sports, and it's on the path to being the foremost champion of free speech in American life. Right? Dana White is saying, free speech, comma, brother, that's the only policy I have. Now, was it the case 10 years ago, five years ago, not in that same way? But now, Dan, all I'm pointing out is that I don't think it's plausible to be the foremost

free speech absolutist in America when the thing you're really protecting is money. And ask Ariel Helwani about how his freedom of speech was treated by Dana White as the counterpoint to what it is that Dana White really cares about when it comes to protecting his business. We have less than a minute left, but for those who have not seen or heard the podcast, tell us the best of what Ariel told you, because I've heard some of the stories and I don't think he's told them all publicly. It was really bad. I experienced some of them with him at ESPN. It was really bad. He has not said everything that happened there. No. No, no, no, look the point here is very simple. It's not about canceling Dana White. It's not about moralizing. It's simply about Bree's speech in theory is about not just protecting the speech that makes you money

It's about protecting the speech that makes you uncomfortable. And so Ariel Helwani not only breaks stories about ah rock Lesnar is gonna come back and fight And so Ariel Helwani, not only breaks stories about, ah, Rock Lesnar is gonna come back and fight, he breaks stories about fighter pay, about treatment of the employees who are not employees or independent contractors at the UFC. And so when Ariel Helwani left ESPN, he got a text from an unknown number that he says, was Dana White, and it was mocking,

it was, I told you I was gonna get rid of you. It's about how he got banned from covering UFC for 48 hours famously and Dana White told him Lorenzo Fertitta you know he put a bullet in your head. It's about Ariel saying he fully believes that and he said this on the show that if he walked out of our studio and got hit by a bus that Dana White would cheer and so it's about this thing that we see now right forget stick to sports. That's over. Now, let's say whatever you want, as long as I could plausibly claim that I'm

in favor of freedom when really I'm in favor of making money. It's a story about America and our politics now. And Dana White happens to be the center of a Venn diagram that is both very funny when you see what it used to be, but also like actually ridiculous to suggest genuine when it comes to his policy and his standards. Pablo Torrey finds out all of the interesting things he is following his curiosities to the end of the earth. Of then what? Pablo Torrey finds out the name of the pod.

My favorite part of that segment was Greg's loan contribution of hitting the microphone with his thermos. Yes, mine too. How'd that turn out? Thanks, Greg.