The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Team USB
Episode Date: July 22, 2024Today's cast: Dan, Chris, Billy, Jeremy, Mike, and Roy. Did anything happen over the weekend? No? Oh! REALLY? Joe Biden stepped down? And endorsed Kamala Harris? OKAY! Well, we are grateful have the o...riginal crew (minus Stugotz) here to discuss the news (and to have Jeremy here to ruin everything you love about the show). Dan and the Shipping Container discuss the political news that led to the news dump of Thom Brennaman returning to the broadcast booth. Is 4 years enough? Then, the show pays tribute to Lou Dobbs after his passing in the only way we know how. Plus, Roy Wood Jr. is here to discuss the way the election process is playing out for the Democrats, the ways in which JD Vance may actually be courageous, and to spat with Billy over the football schedule. He also shares his thoughts on the RNC, Team USA Basketball, delivers his semi-sure bet of the week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
I'm not feeling physically great.
I'm not feeling emotionally great.
But the OG crew is here on a difficult Monday
after a turbulent couple of weekends in politics.
And I wanna pace ourselves
because we got four months of this shit coming up
and I don't want to blow a gasket every Monday
because something else has changed.
And Roy, I need your help here we
cannot go through this and football season and General Ware's stugots the
General Ware's stugots of today where we can't trust him at all to just show up
we got five months of crazy ahead and I don't know whether to start the show with
Biden talk? Biden talk?
Biden talk?
I don't know man, like I'm too tired. I'm used to these two guys not being here.
We can do it out to the side,
but after the Stanley Cup final, now this,
I'm exhausted man.
We haven't even started.
We haven't even started like the actual cycle.
Oh God, no. We haven't started. Billy, cycle. Oh God, no.
We haven't started.
Billy, what are you making faces about?
Ass off, Byroid.
Ass off.
Good job, Byroid.
We haven't even gotten to the DNC yet.
That's gonna be interesting.
Let's just appreciate our moment in history, shall we?
History is literally happening every day,
and I know that's the deal with history but this time in particular there's gonna be plenty of
stuff written about in history textbooks. We get to see an open convention, it's
first time in my lifetime I get to say I saw that. A president that had the most
popular votes ever that was a pretty successful president when it came to
midterm elections has just decided at his age and his health and his current
polling to step away from seeking re-election and endorse his vice
president. This is a moment in time. A heroically unselfish act. Yeah and it's
the first time in my lifetime that I know this has been aggregated a bunch
that a Bush a Clinton or Biden
Won't be involved in a little in an election. So that's fresh. That's new
I know but every day is course the guy running on the other side of the ticket was a president the previous time
But you know baby steps to a total reset
Chris Cody, why are you smiling?
Because it's I'm with my friends. I made it I I woke up another day Dan. Oh, it would be optimist over here. I
Just I stay out of that stuff. You guys can worry about that stuff. I'm good. I am
Very worried Chris's bowling on Wednesdays and what we're gonna do. What do you mean? You stay out of that stuff?
Get there when it's time. I'm on your guys's team, but I'm just not gonna Alright you guys got that What do you mean you stay out of that?
All right, you guys got that He does seem a lot happier than you guys. Yeah, I'm gonna watch funny YouTube videos. He's figured it out
Yeah, you know what my presidential coverage is watching kill Tony and see okay
Yeah, you know what you say that yeah look here. This is what's funny about you though. This is what's funny about you
Yes, I get it. You're tired man. Yeah, no, you, here, this is what's funny about you, though. This is what's funny about you. Yes, I get it.
I'm tired, man.
Yeah, no, you're part of the great,
the great divide in this country
of people who just wanna go laugh
and be left alone somewhere and go watch.
The Zinternet.
Yes, go watch.
I'm gonna vote.
Hey, out there, everyone.
No, vote.
Hold on a minute, all right?
Wait one second.
I mean, in fairness, his vote counts the same as yours,
so if you could do it stressed out,
you could do it calmly.
I mean, it's probably better the way Chris is doing it.
Yes, but the problem with what Chris is doing
is Chris couldn't wait to start texting people
that Biden was out of the race.
Oh, it was the best.
I love when you have a news story.
It's like, who can I share this with?
Hey, Dad, Biden pulled out.
Mom, did you see?
He picked Kamala.
This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings.
Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout
the show.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
My father is Biden's age.
I can't get him to give up the diet orange soda.
I can't get him to give up the car keys.
My father is Biden's age, a grumpy, stubborn old man who doesn't want to change at all.
An act of heroism.
An unselfish act of heroism by an old man to say, I'm too old for this.
You know what? I agree with you. I'm going to be accountable.
I'm bad for all this. Polling's? I agree with you. I'm going to be accountable. I'm bad for all this.
Polling's bad.
I got to get out of the way.
It makes me sad, scared.
It's kind of amazing and funny that age knocks him out.
But the other guy's a criminal, and he's still in the game.
And old, by the way. And old.
Well, now, and going to look all the older
because he's falling asleep at White Trash Convention
with Hulk Hogan, but I don't want to start there.
Give Chris's technique just a week
and see how your life feels.
Like just try it for a week, man.
Objection leading the jury, it's coded language.
I have to pace myself.
In that you said it overtly.
I have to pace myself over these next four months
because everything's getting
increasingly crazy when the last eight day cycle gives us an assassination attempt. And now, hey,
it's not, you know, it's not deposed. It's not dethroned. But Biden being out because everybody
in the party sort of turned on him in a way that created the self-awareness of this can't win.
in the party sort of turned on him in a way that created the self-awareness of this can't win. The public's not going to go with he's aging too quickly. The documentary on this is going to be
great 20 years from now because after then we can actually come to grips with where we are right now.
I think my main takeaway outside of just the horrific events from two Saturdays ago was I was
so stunned at how the world just kept moving.
Baseball games that were supposed to go on went on.
We didn't miss a beat.
He's speaking at the convention
and we're just chugging along.
And it's kind of like how we now know
that there's UFOs around,
but we don't know how to talk about it.
And the human mind can't even comprehend the scope of it.
So we just keep moving on with our day and watching Kill Tony.
Well, could it be that we kept chugging along
because Trump kept chugging along?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He's acting like it was the most normal thing.
So it's just, I don't really know how to reconcile
with the times because they won't slow down.
Okay, so we've got four to five months of this
and also this is a good time for Tom Brenneman
to get back in the game.
Like Tom Brenneman had, look, time has-
What a news dump he took advantage of.
Look, time has sped up over the last four years.
I think we'd all agree, I think everyone would agree,
with wherever it is our divisions are
over the last four years,
time has sort of been warped on things and so this there was a I have a mark in sports a
line when and it wasn't Rudy Gobert where sort of like here here comes the
pandemic sadness of a career is gonna get lopped off. One of the first things
that's gonna happen during weird pandemic times is Tom Brennan
is going to have an off air moment that has a gay slur in it and it was on a live mic
and then Tom Brennan is giving the apology during what is now over the last four years.
Kostianos is only associated with this.
You don't associate him with championship games or Phillies or you just associate him with championship games or fillies or you just associate him with
as a red hitting a home run during the most awkward Simpsons type set to satire
apology you've ever heard in sports. Castellanos to lead things off.
Jim Day is going to be taking us the rest of the way through this game. As Holland
takes over on the mound I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the year that I am
deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there I can't tell you how much I
say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very very sorry. I pride myself and think
of myself as a a man of faith as there's a drive in a deep left
field by Castellanos that will be a home run.
And so that'll make it a four nothing ball game.
I don't know if I'm going to be putting on this headset again.
I don't know if it's going to be for the Reds.
I don't know if it's going to be for my bosses at Fox.
I'm going to apologize for the people who signed my paycheck, for the Reds, for Fox
Sports Ohio, for the people I work with, for anybody that I've offended here tonight.
I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am.
That is not who I am and never has been.
And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people that
They could back that up I
Am very very sorry and I beg for your forgiveness
Jim Dale take you the rest of the way home and that ended in his career in a way It's like I don't even mean to laugh. It's just so perfectly awful And it'd be such a perfect apology to that really considers like man
I don't know if I'm ever gonna put on these headsets it it really
Takes into account the gravity of the situation and some man reckoning with the end of his career
But Casiano's couldn't lay out it was wonderful that he had to respect at the very end in an empty ballpark
Totally quiet he created for me a moment that I would put
in my personal sports hall of fame for,
I remember how it felt during the pandemic to not feel sick
because sports made me laugh again.
Because sports could give me a joy in an empty ballpark
with no sound where you get that apology.
But now Brennanman's back in the game.
You get an assassination attempt over here president drops out boom boom boom good in
The news cycle four years long enough get back in the game the CW needs you
We got sports all over and someone's gonna broadcast that out of conference wait for his football game
And I'm gonna be betting on it to the soundtrack of Tom Brennan and I've got a really hot take when it comes to Tom Brennan
Um, that's fine
He can he can go back now feel like he served his time of Tom Brenneman and I've got a really hot take when it comes to Tom Brenneman. That's fine.
He can go back now.
Feel like he served his time.
I know he said a lot of people said can back that up
that that's not who he is.
I don't recall like a huge line,
but you are not your worst moments.
And I feel like four years and the penance
of having to call ACC football and the CW,
I feel like that's good We we did we did we did that one right Jeremy's wincing though
young hungry broadcasters who you could have hired instead of a guy who used the
F-slur toward gay people on a hot mic when you know his job is to speak
When your job's to speak and you speak a slur into a microphone, maybe
you don't hire that person to speak again when there's plenty of other people who you
could hire to do that job.
I hear where you're coming from. I'm pretty sure that guy's never going to make that mistake
again.
That's not the point.
Okay.
Well, it's just like, I know I'm not going to play gatekeeper on broadcasters. I know
there's plenty of young broadcasters and there's plenty of crap football games for them to call.
Like shutting out Tom Brenneman
because we don't feel like he's sorry enough.
I don't know.
He just got to have a long enough career.
No, I don't know.
I'm not gonna die on that hill.
If Tom Brenneman wants to get back,
he gets to prove for a year
that he's not gonna say a gay slur into a microphone
during ACC football games on the CW.
This is what I would love to do here for the rest of time as a sports show.
I would love to govern just you two yelling at each other over what should be the penalty
between four years and a lifetime ban.
And make up the rules as we go along because we don't know because Jeremy's right that a young broadcaster could be given a chance with that game
So could a grizzled old vet that is not who I am a bad moment and never has been
But it was that one time at that micro is a bad one
Yeah, I gotta say one of the worst but he's nobody says it's not who I am and who I've been
I mean you just were on live mic. That's why you're apologize was ten minutes
We just made the president of the United States stop running for president because of bad moments on the microphone
Well, he stopped for four years. I don't know. It's just like if if he's sorry
Cw does its its vetting process. They feel like they can hire him and give him a second chance
I'm not anti second chance. I don't think he's still hateful.
He's been laying low.
I'm good with him trying to claw back into it,
see if he can have a career again.
He's been laying low cause no one gave him a shot. That's right. He was in like,
I think he was using like the Caribbean baseball. Yeah,
but he didn't do the thing. He's not holding up a poster board like David Pollock guys
He's been laying low. He hasn't he hasn't made himself this huge victim. He's he's acknowledged that he slipped up
He hasn't been blaming anybody else. How often have we seen that grift? How often have we seen someone? My character has been assassinated
I'm a victim here of cancel culture. He's been laying low. I just I don't know slipped up laying low four years I don't know what the rules should be. I'm here cancel culture. Just don't know man. Look. I just I don't know slipped up laying low four years
I don't know what the rules should be. I'm not sitting here
What you want him to do maxion
Minor league baseball look this is the thing that I hate about what's happening to me Saudi League as my
sensibilities tend to age
I've never ever played seven and a half years me as my sensibilities tend to age.
I've never.
Florida Everblades.
Seven and a half years.
I've never been the guy who wants anybody,
lifetime gone for anything because we define anybody
by their worst acts.
Well then welcome Tom Brenneman to the CW, thank you.
After four years of penalty,
but I do like arguing about whether it should be four and a half,
or five, or five and a half,
because I'm watching the Louis CK documentary,
and I'm like, okay, he's back in the game.
And that was the penalty.
I don't think he ever really left the game.
No, but it's- It's less for comedians.
Comedians get two and a half years.
Yes.
Or one special.
But if we're gonna make all the rules as we go along,
it's like moral arbiters, we're gonna go do this together unified as one on the one thing of what's the appropriate outrage for this sports broadcaster?
Using a slur. What's the what is the right amount?
Rendemans back in the game now four years will forget one news cycle will forget. Let's call them Louis CW
It's a good joke for Louis. It is a good joke.
I can't hit the button for you though.
You're going to have to do that for you.
Hey, it's Mike Ryan and man, it's a hot one. As Rob Thomas famously said,
I know summertime means pool and backyard time in some parts of the country.
It might be too hot for that. So if you're going to be out there, be careful,
hydrate yourself, have some water, and also have a Miller Lite! Because Miller Lite
makes summertime Miller time. Whether you're grilling over an open flame or out there on a
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Don LeBotard!
This is largely pertinent but we need to establish and leave some reasonable doubt.
Yes exactly!
Everyone will enjoy themselves though.
Please don't raise it.
Stick out at the top everyone with a play story where he plays more than you do. Stu Guts! Stugatz! I always like leaving Dan on high.
Because he's so vulnerable I just unfairly fade down the chicken to just leave him by
himself.
This is the Dan LeBataar Show with the Stugatz! ads.
Speaking of hitting the button, okay, I didn't get to properly remember a Hall of Fame sound
from around here on friday we
lost
conservative icon i'm on a text string
with some of my friends that just keep scrolling new death news to me about
that the latest person from my childhood who is dying
lou daub's conservative icon seventy eight years old has only one sound in
this history this show
that is a hall of fame sound and it's him trying to say I don't even remember what country in
Guadalajara. No it wasn't Guadalajara. No it wasn't? It wasn't. We always thought that's one of the
things that's funny about it. It got myth busted? Yes it was not. That's what I wish
it had been but when it wasn't it made it all the funnier. The caravan of mostly
Central American immigrants is now in the Mexican city of Guadalajara.
Man, you sure it's not Guadalajara? What could it be?
We've done this before and somebody's done the research on it and it's been disproven.
It was not Guadalajara. Mexican city of Guadalajara.
It's got to have an X in it. It's got to have an X in it, right?
Please take a second and look it up.
I'm ashamed that I don't know this,
because I should know this.
Roy, I'm surprised you don't know it,
because as our resident historian on these things,
you usually are up to matters, especially
when it comes to the death of cultural conservative icons.
What?
Lou Dobbs.
Warshelah.
Yeah, I thought it was Guadalajara or Guadalajara. Warshelah. Yeah, I thought it was Guadalajara or Guadalajara.
Warshelah.
Wow, Taylor just texted me from another room
a great little tidbit.
The quarterback for Boston College is Thomas Casianos.
That's correct.
Warshelah.
We've got an opportunity here
for the funniest thing ever to happen.
All we need is for Tom Brennan man slip up one more time and for
Casagrande's to do something on the field immediately after you knew the boss and college quarterbacks
They was costing out of the top of your head
I just read about it this ramblin because a lot of people had pointed out on this story of Brennan man that he was
Going to be yeah
It's very rare these days Billy on the internet that you're allowed to get to any of the jokes first. People are already making them as soon as any kind of news breaks.
Apparently the name of the city is spelled H-U-I-X-T-L-A.
Can we use it in a sentence?
I can't.
Spell it again, Roy.
H-U-I-X-T-L-A.
If Nick Casillanos didn't hit so many home runs at bad moments, do you think Tom Brennanman
would have been back sooner?
I think the opposite.
I think the only reason he gets to come back is because we've turned it into a meme.
I think that had he not done it so many times, people would have forgotten why Tom Brennanman
was fired to begin with.
Because every time it happens, then you go and you see the apology,
you're like, what did he do again?
You're like, oh yeah, that's no.
You know, like when they say, let the apology be as loud as a criticism?
That time, the apology was louder than the initial incident.
Like, it's become so memeable that you have to kind of look back and say,
what is he apologizing for?
I pride myself and think of myself as a a of faith as there's a drive in a deep left
field by Castellanos that will be a home run.
It's so good.
I mean, if a scriptwriter wrote it, if that is the shame you take to your grave as a broadcaster
who took himself seriously and who got broadcasting descended to him from his father, someone
who cherishes broadcasting.
If the satire and humor of that is how your career ends
and the universe just laughs at you
with a thousand clowns in the sky,
it should be the final disgrace that echoes for you
in a way that if you're not self-serious,
you could be like, man, that was perfect.
I got the perfect ending.
A Brockmeyer... this casual slur
that i that was grandfathered in from three decades ago in baseball off air
and now i've got to apologize for it and it's going to be my eternal shame
but there's i'm not kidding you when i tell you there's a special kind of curse
in that purgatory that brenda man has to take broadcasting
that seriously and that he would disgrace it at the end
while still trying to respect the broadcast of it
by describing a meaningless home run during the pandemic.
Can you do a South Beach Sessions with him?
That'd be great. No, not Casiano's.
You can do Casiano's too.
But Brennan ran into something that we later discovered
was a thing entering that moment for Casiano's
because when this became viral,
everyone's like, guys, this is not even the first time
Casillanos has done this.
There was an awkward apology on the air
from his earlier days in Major League Baseball,
and he's only leaned into it since, like always.
Anytime now something is in the news,
the first thing people do that like to gamble
is they go to the home run props
and pick Nick Casillanos to go deep. It started with the beginning of his career. His
first home run was May 1st 2011 the next day Osama bin Laden was killed. Now he
homered on the day of the Trump assassination attempt. He homered on the
day that Joe Biden decided he would no longer run for president. He homered
when the Phillies were on their broadcast giving an update
on Charlie Manuel's stroke. He homered during I believe a rehab game at a minor
league park when someone was talking about his then recently passed away
Uncle Charlie. There are so many examples of Nick Castellanos homering in the
middle of tragic news. I need to get that sound. We need to get that minor league sound
because it feels like a cosmic joke
in that we are living right now the Castellanos era
of pandemic baseball and comedy.
But I want to again go back to the spelling.
How would you pronounce H-V, spell this for me again,
H-V-I-X-T-L-A.
The V is a U, so H-U-I-X-T-L-A.
Yeah, H-U-I-X-T-L-A.
Okay.
Okay.
Quicksla?
I honestly think he did a good job
after seeing how it's spelled.
No, Billy, no, what are you talking, no, no.
It's a hard word.
It is a hard word, but.
Hush, hush. I'm asking all of you to go around the room No, what are you talking? No. It's a hard word. It is a hard word. But. Wartful die.
I'm asking all of you to go around the room
and try to pronounce that word
if he thought the second letter was a V and not a U.
Because that would be tough for Lou Dobbs.
That's some gymnastics.
Asking Lou Dobbs to get used to brown spellings,
accents and flavors.
No, he doesn't want that in his America.
So he'll die before he lives it
I'll take a crack. Ooh
X la
Yeah, I think that's it. That's I think that's it Roy. You can't be trusted. No, I can't like weeks
La now the H is silent. So it's already off to a bad start
Your pronunciation of Guadalajara
Hey, listen was so bad. No, what do you mean? Hey, listen what listen what? I can't speak Spanish.
But I've been making fun of Lou Dobbs. We're literally burying this old man.
For how many years for trying to get through that word and you're telling me he's got no chance because
I can't get through that word. You've lived in South Florida all your life surrounded by Latin people.
Yeah but in a different neighborhood though. I'm going to miss Lou Dobbs, ancient patron saint for a different time when conservatives
could be slightly less lunatic than the ones in front of us right now.
I don't mean to be that guy on this hour the entire time, but that guy was pretty racist
and xenophobic over and over again.
But it was a quaint time.
It was a quainer dinosaur time, yes, of course he was.
It directly led to what's happening now.
Yes, of course.
And don't tell your story.
All right, short.
But all I'm saying is he was an amateur working in the fringes around,
Limbaugh was the guy doing the real damage and Dobbs was over in the conservative corners
picking up, you know, whatever dust the professional assholes could back then.
Worth will die.
Yes, Jeremy, of course. And now it's all so much worse.
I'm just, I'm not exactly longing
for a quainer time in racism.
Just let the man be dead for five minutes
before you disrespect his racist.
You're the one that called for the sound.
His racist, xenophobic ass.
No.
I mean, what are we doing?
I do think, I don't know,
because I'm really confused
about how to do some of this in the next four months,
because I sort of wanna play around in the playpen
of doing all the nonsense, and I also want to wonder
about whether the last eight days are gonna be now
the new normal for the next eight days,
because of course all of this stuff is gonna escal escalate has been gurgling since january six
right where were
we're gonna look at the same thing happening same horrifying thing at the
beginning of castellanos and we're all going to be like okay we're gonna look
at this one differently this is either no a harmless bunch of sherpas walking
in there not attacking the democracy
or it's an insurrection
and now we're gonna fight about words and semantics,
and you're gonna see the country divided everywhere,
all over the place, until the gun violence
is so bad all around that an assassination attempt occurs,
and that one's not, that seems to be a job
about mental illness, that doesn't, what is the,
you know, we don't even understand
what the politics of that are.
And so we come into this time now, and the Democrats just ran an old man out of office
and that makes me feel bad because he tried to do the right things at every turn and at
the end of it all he has to fall in the crucifix as the other party is the one about religion.
The other party is the one where Trump can't even hold up a Bible correctly because of
how much they hide in the religion of hatred.
So now we head into the next four months and you've never heard me around here be radically
pro-biden. All I am is radically anti all of that over there. Like just give me something less
criminal, less sexist, less racist, less homophobic, just less. Yeah all the sides are evil. Everyone's
bad. Everyone's bought. Everyone's
corrupt. Just give me slightly less evil than that. That's what I'm voting for. And so now
they just throw all the popcorn up in the tin. And who knows what's going to happen?
Like I don't trust polls. I don't trust information. I don't trust experts. So who knows what happens
over the next four months? As my news shows that I that i'm trusting can even keep up with the
with the the politics of the moment because
between bill maher and john oliver they they're there's a bit too much happens
in a week for what for either one of them to be able to produce something
that i can
consumed so i can hear somebody try to be reasonable during something that's
obviously not reasonable
we just ran an old man who tried to be graceful
to the very end of his life. Ran him right out because he's old and I get it. And I get
it.
Career. But I guess on the time, on a long enough timeline, yeah, I guess he's closer
to the end than the middle.
I'm just saying that we can't do better than this. It's like, I believe all of us are mortified.
We can and we are. That's the whole thing.
Yeah, isn't this the Democratic Party acknowledging that they have to?
Yes, because they were going to lose.
Right.
Because everybody, because that thing we've been talking about, the need to declare something
over, when the bullet missed, all I heard was people declaring the election over immediately
after an assassination attempt.
And now the new normal is the way that you counter
that winning photograph is you overthrow your own president
because he's old.
If the assassination attempt had happened
in a Kamala versus Donald Trump campaign,
we may not be responding the same way
because it may have already been so decisive
that the convicted felon wasn't going to be the president.
But in this case, we were coming off of a couple of weeks of the media, not just the
Democratic Party, but basically the media coalescing and saying Biden is too old.
He's also not entertaining, which is not great for us as a corporate media entity, and in turn, he's now gone and the Democrats are doing what they can to put the
best possible candidate to represent what that administration has done the last several
years in charge.
The whole thing leaves me a bit heartbroken, like sad and not hopeful, but moderately less
hopeless, not optimistic, but moderately less pessimistic.
It's not vibrant alive, but it's better.
It's something.
It's something.
Bring in the Monday vibes.
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Don LeBattard.
I actually thought you looked kind of good.
Stu Guts.
That good?
I have the beards grown out a little bit.
I got a little life in my face, I feel like.
Little tan, Colorado, San Francisco.
A great time.
You got life on your face.
You've got death on your face.
I think you've got 40 to life on your face.
This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats.
It is very difficult the way that this man makes a living.
I really love and respect his grind that he would be ready during a pandemic,
after a pandemic, to tour the country the way that he's touring the country when people need
to be hearing his voice at these times because he's seen a bunch of stuff and he has a really
unique way of looking at them. Roy, thank you for being on with us. Again, I'm always happy to talk to you. I've got the road to Rickwood to promote for him. It's a new podcast on civil rights
and baseball. He does it with NPR. It's meaningful and he's got shows coming up this summer,
Denver, New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio. He's
got his new special coming for Hulu. So thank you Roy for making the time. Let's get to it Dan. Does Mettlelark Media support the vice president? Do you nominate
her or not? Plunge your allegiance right now you have until sundown.
You sounded a little Cosby there. There was a little threatening Cosby there. I heard.
I understand the craziness of politics today,
but there's like people who aren't even involved
in the democratic process who like, we too nominate,
like, hey, settle down, you're a juice drink company,
just sell me juice drinks today.
What is this though, Roy?
These are unprecedented public times
or am I overstating it?
I don't understand what
the thing is about what's happening with com one in this moment
she's the vice president she should be the nominee
it would be when you bought the mcdonald's anger and your manager got
drunk and then come in that day
the assistant manager became the manager that is the way the hierarchy works
if job on those pay you all on finna home. Then Kamala, you get to wear the manager hat.
And then you go get Gavin Newsom off drive through and you say,
you're the assistant manager now or Gretchen Whitmer, whoever you prefer.
But my point is there's ranks in politics already set up in place.
So the idea that that needs to be a process to play out before we decide, whatever, man, I'm so confused.
The analogy does make sense in that the inner workings of a McDonald's is kind of
like, you know,
the world and how important everything is. I don't know. Like,
people don't vote on who runs the McDonald's. That's, I guess,
that's what the delay is.
Listen, three months ago, the Supreme Court matter.
We don't know what's going on in the world right now anymore,
OK?
It's just, it's crazy times.
I'm just, I'm happy that at least,
that we're at least having a conversation about whether or not
a black woman's qualified to have the job.
At least it's happening in public now,
and not behind closed doors.
So I guess, yay yay progress to that.
That's a good platform with a question mark.
Yay progress with a question mark.
Yeah, yeah, but no, I'm good, man.
Good to be back on the show.
Happy to see you.
I gotta give a real quick shout out
to the Mary O. LaMue Foundation.
Had a great time in Pittsburgh over the weekend
raising money, was able to make it in
in spite of the travel craziness.
Nine hour Amtrak from Milwaukee leaving the RNC to get to Pittsburgh, and it was a
good time.
Help me not make normal what are abnormal times, okay, Roy?
In the last 52 days, we have witnessed May 30th, Trump's conviction, June 27th, Biden's
debate.
July 1st, the Supreme Court grants Trump immunity
July 13th would be assassin shoots at the Trump rally July 15th the judge down here in Florida
Dismisses the classified documents case July 15th Trump picks JD Vance July 21st Biden drops out
That's like
That's the time I was kind of on vacation.
So like, have you had a last couple of weeks
like those couple of weeks?
No, I don't think I've ever had a run like that.
I will say in the midst of all of this,
I think one of the more braver politicians right now
is JD Vance because you have to stand next to a dude
on stage in public places
and they've been actively trying to kill him.
So I don't think there's anybody more courageous
because I can tell you right now, Dan LeBattard,
if you just got shot at two days ago
and you asked me to come do something with you
in a public place, I'm gonna be like,
you know, you're my boy, but I'll be over there.
You stand over there.
You know, you go on the stage, Dan,
you go talk to the people.
I'm gonna be over here. All right, well, I will not lessen our friendship.
How many people are you saying,
okay, I'll ride with you?
How many of the people are you always gonna take
the other direction?
Because the power graphs are pretty overt these days.
Like, what JD Vance is doing is pretty shameless on,
you know, around, surrounded by rampant shamelessness.
Oh, of course.
I mean, but the entire Republican convention
is people who were talking trash about Trump
now being nice to him to his face.
It's like a reverse roast
in that you're just watching people just go,
oh, you're so nice, you're good.
Don't worry about none of that stuff I said
about you two months ago.
So, you know, I don't know, man.
I think that the election cycle should only be four or five months anyway.
Just as a, you know, I'm a fan of like, if we want to bring it to sports,
when they told me the NFL used to have like 14 game seasons, I'm like, bring that back.
Bring back. It'll never happen because of money.
But the idea of there just being a sprint to the finish,
I don't think anybody should have a nominee until around now. never happen because of money, but the idea of there just being a sprint to the finish,
I don't think anybody should have a nominee until around now. What are we, 60 days out?
To be a hundred days out, something like that? That's what it should be.
But when we talked on South Beach Sessions, like you've seen from the insides of speaking
to these people, like you know this is a cocktail party grift that all of these people are bought and so many of them are like it feels to you like paid
Actors like you've seen the deep deep insides of this machine
I was at the CNN grill last week at the RNC and if I told you some of the names that was up in there
Drinking CNN's free liquor after all they do is talk trash about CNN, bro. It's it's a game
I really do think though that for the most part all these elections just come down to like two three million people All they do is talk trash about CNN. Bro, it's a game.
I really do think, though, that for the most part,
all these elections just come down to like two, three million people.
Like their guy is their guy.
And the same thing goes with the Democrats,
the people who are going to be behind.
You're not going to you're not going to win those people.
It's the people in the middle who really aren't sure who really honestly
don't pay attention to politics.
And they somewhere watching Love Island,
and they're just now checking in.
Because we forget, there's people who check into politics
the way we do sports, where you don't check in.
I'll be honest, I watch college basketball a little,
but I don't check in to conference tournaments
in February and top of March.
That's when I watch college basketball.
I couldn't name your two players on any team
in the last decade.
But come March, I'm like, well, you know,
Gonzaga's always tough.
So those are the people that we're looking for.
It's like all of those people who only watch the tournament.
And I think that's who, you know,
Kamala has a chance to, you know,
to pick off some of those kind of undecided people.
What happened to you, Dan?
Like there was a time that you'd have guests come on here
and you wouldn't let them just spew propaganda unchecked.
And you're letting Roy get away with saying
there should be less football in this country?
He wants a 14 game season?
That's absurd.
He said it as if he'd had this groundless wall of support.
No, no one wants that.
20 games, 14 games.
What's the difference in a 14 game season
and a 12 team playoff?
It's the same thing.
You're just shortening the playoff.
No, no, no.
No, because you get out one more game
and then you expand the playoff.
What are you not getting?
How about just 14 weeks of no foot.
Exactly, yeah.
Goodness gracious.
Damn sacrilege.
I can't believe this.
Y'all want more football. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. You're calling us sacrilegious I can't believe this. Y'all want more football.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're calling us sacrilegious.
You want less.
I mean, if this were election, I know who's winning.
Yes, two by one.
Is that what you want?
Well, now we're working towards a solution, Roy.
I like where your head's at.
Thank you.
And then the football season will be just as long
as election season, a year and a half.
I hope it's longer than election season.
I hope football seasons last three seasons long,
each season. What is it, last three seasons long, each season.
What is it, MLS or NASCAR that go like February
to damn their Hanukkah?
Those aren't seasons.
It's too long.
What?
Roy, walk it back.
Roy, Roy, you're, Roy, I don't think you know where,
I don't think you know where the line is anymore.
I think you're out of control.
You've lost touch.
You've lost touch as a comedian.
You need to walk it back now.
I'm sorry for talking about serious issues on this show.
Let's get back to the presidential election.
Just being anti-football.
Let me get to the picks,
because I'm going to have enough time for these picks.
We didn't do the picks last time.
The what?
Your semi-sure bet of the week?
Is that what you're talking about?
It hasn't been semi-sure.
I think the last one I hit,
I said a team with an a win the NBA
Finals and I was wrong about that unless you spell Boston like that
But I got one for you this week, bro
Well, but I was a for sure
But I wanted to do Hulk Hogan I wanted to ask you about Hulk Hogan in the RNC you want to go right to the picks
What is there to say about Hogan now Now that's a grift. That's a
grift. This man's been ripping his shirt off for 40 years. It
was a new one. I long for the days of a normal Republican
convention when it was just Jeff Sessions and Hershel Walker
trying to read a teleprompter. Bring back the good old days.
It's crazy. That's a good old days.
You need to, I think he needs to walk back.
Like you can't come after Hulk Hogan,
he's an American icon.
Like how can you come after him?
Come on people.
Look at this clown.
It's the John Ruff brother.
And then Trump blows him a kiss.
Look, I think that we're at a point in politics
where if you're a political party,
you just find people that are passionate
and that connect with your base,
and it doesn't have to be eloquent anymore.
I think we're gonna see something similar
from the Democrats as well.
I guarantee you, it'll be Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart
at the DNC saying some shizzle-dizzle.
Matter of fact, put that down too.
Put me down for that guarantee.
Put for DNC speakers on your parlay,
give me Snoop Dogg, Martha Stewart, and I don't know.
Shizzle-dizzle.
Shizzle.
Madonna.
Yeah, over, under, on shizzle-dizzles.
At the DNC.
I think Hogan's speaking, I think Amber Rose speaking,
I think all of it, it oddly makes sense.
We talk about people needing to understand politics,
we say politics is boring.
Well then put the wrestler dude up there.
Put the woman with the tattoo on her forehead up there.
If that's gonna get a regular undecided person
to watch this nonsense, I guess it's a good thing.
Oh,
oh, another platform to run on. Just you say things with a
question mark at the end, you're you're moving the lines of where
progress should be. This is so low lowest common denominator
stuff that for you to be numb to it or then I've been working
this middle of the road performance for years brother, I
even do this, you can't see it off camera, but I'm doing this as I talk to you.
I understand. My bad. I'll back off. Can we get to the semi shore bed of the week?
Or is it Olympics related? Or did you have? Yeah, it's Olympic.
It's oh yeah. Remember that the Olympics are happening.
Did we not forget about that in the middle of all of this?
This week, Olympic, Paris, you got the dream team almost becoming a 30 for 30 doc
the other day, winning by one point.
Billy's so mad at them.
You know if South Sudan beats them,
that's a 30 for 30 in a Disney movie in a heartbeat.
I still beat.
I have a question for you, a pitch really.
Why is it that in some events we can have have as many entrants as we want for America,
but in events like basketball, we can only have one team?
What do you want, like team A and team B?
Yeah, why not?
You wanted a separate squad?
Yeah, look what happened in the WNBA All-Star game.
You had Team USA and they lost the WNBA All-Stars
because they were playing with a chip on their shoulder
because they got left off.
What?
Is our country not divided enough?
Do you really want Jaylen Brown
and Russell Westbrook leading the way?
I like Team USA and Team USB.
I like that.
I mean, what could unite this country
more than winning a gold and silver medal?
What's wrong with that?
They have to wear that on their uniform.
Yes, Team USB.
Yes, that's right. It's like a little wear that on their uniform. Team USB!
It's like a little fake action on the side.
It's a little USB cord, it's a logo.
They could win bronze.
I'd watch that, come on!
Just the second team.
You guys are terrible.
Opening ceremonies are
I think Friday or Saturday
for the Olympics.
Guaranteed sure bet. Thank you to your staff for pulling Olympics. And guaranteed sure bet.
And thank you to your staff
for pulling this statistics for me, Dan.
Since 2008, on the same day as the Olympic opening ceremonies,
the twins and pirates win.
It has always happened since 2008.
The twins and pirates win.
Since 2008, summer Olympic ceremony, same day,
the Giants and Rangers lose. Every single time, every single year, the Giants and Rangers lose
the same day as the Summer Olympic opening ceremonies. And I'm gonna go a little deeper
for you. The twins leadoff hitter gets a hit every time. So if you're doing beat the streak,
you're doing f***ing s***.
If you're doing, I'm telling you.
Whoa, Draft Kings is what we're doing.
Never doing s***.
Never doing s***.
Never doing s***.
If you're doing Draft Kings.
Get it right.
If you're doing Draft Kings,
you need to bet on the Twins leadoff hitter
to get a hit today.
Also, same day as the Summer Olympic opening ceremonies,
the Pirates number two hitter
and the Pirates number six hitter always gets a hit.
That's gonna be Brian Reynolds and keep Brian Hayes.
Put everything you own on this today.
All right, this is the Roy Wood Jr. Semi-Shore
Bet of the Week brought to you by Draftcase.
Put everything you own on this.
Everything you own on this.
Don't quote that.
We actually had a meeting and maybe don't say that.
No, he is saying that it's a semi-sure bet of the week.
That response is not my fault if it doesn't hit,
but it probably will hit.
You should put everything you own in it.
There's a lot of, whoa, that it's just excessive.
Okay, but he's very confident.
You can get tickets at RoyWoodJr.com.
Roy, thank you.
We're gonna need you, okay?
We're gonna need you over the next four months.
Gonna find you wherever it is you're,
wherever you're making comedy because
this can't be an acceptable level of crazy,
but you're telling us we've only got attention span
for the next four months.
Everything before it, we're just hitting reset.
Yeah, but I gotta go.
I'm putting in my name in the hat for vice president.
I gotta straighten up my resume real quick.
Alright, see you later.
You think they'll vote for two blacks?
See you later, Roy.
Good seeing you again.
Not gonna answer that, huh?
I'm gonna swerve that one, huh?
Nice.
See you later.
Good seeing you.
Oh dear God.
Hey, it's Mike Ryan and man, it's a hot one, as Rob Thomas famously said.
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