The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Fuzzy Green Ball
Episode Date: June 7, 2024Today's cast: Stugotz, Billy, Chris, Jeremy, Lucy, and Mike. The NBA Finals started last night with a dominant Celtics win, but first...the red clay! Then, the crew was so impressed with Kristaps Porz...ingis and the Celtics in their win last night that Stugotz called the series over, but did Jayson Tatum do enough to impress Mike? Plus, Stephen A. Strut, Lucy's fury over a lack of door holding, and the smell of a sneeze. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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We have a lot to get to today. The Panthers, they start their pursuit for the Stanley Cup,
the Stanley Cup finals tomorrow night in sunrise. We have NBA finals, game one, Dan Hurley, a lot to get to, but we start the most obvious of places today.
The red clay of Roland Garros.
Mike is going crazy because Sinner is up 4-1 on Alcares.
Do you have a bet on this? I mean...
No, no. I know that's shocking to a lot of people in our audience.
I just love Roland Garros. I love the fuzzy green ball as you know.
And I was really excited about the semi-final and Yannick Sinner has come out with his hair on fire.
He went up 4-0, broke Alcaraz twice. Right. And so... Why are you saying it like that?
That's the way you're supposed to. Right. I know a a lot of you'll probably call him a prison in the Bay Area before long
But I I was really excited for this match
I was not prepared and clearly neither was al-qaraf for what Yannick center had up his sleeve. Yeah, I
Mean Alcatraz has to know that centers pretty good, right? I mean
Sinners won a major before a center's been in semi-finals before.
Like, this is not new to Sinner,
unlike the Dallas Mavericks.
What about that last night?
They did give us one fleeting moment
of Ben Roethlisberger, oh, GIFs.
But that was really tough to watch.
And Chris Ops Porzingis, I don't know what the odds are right now. Let's check DraftKings sportsbook finals MVP
Yeah, and I know Dan Dan credit to Dan. He was touting how important Staps was to that team
I know defensively he meant a lot to that team. Yeah, and I know he could contribute offensively in big ways, but I don't
Maybe it's because I haven't been watching day in
and day out with the sound on I was not prepared for him to come out like that
he came out like Yannick Stenner. He was great but let's be clear the Celtics got
here I don't think he's placed it's April 29th Porzingis and so that's a
long break. Usually those injured guys in the finals that try to come back off an
injury it takes a minute yes it does it does. But I guess what I'm saying here, Mike, is the Celtics got to the finals without Porzingis
and as good as Porzingis played last night, they had six guys at double figures. Donkage
was terrible on defense. Kyrie was awful. The Celtics, man, they're historically good
and it seems like no one is recognizing that. Like there was a staff from last night's game
that they are 46 and four when they have a 17 point lead. The fact that they played 50 games in
the regular season where they had a 17 point lead is amazing. Let's slow down though because
they've had a lot of series is over. They've had a lot of good game ones and then lose game two.
Like if the Mavericks have lost every game one and then come back to win game two.
That's what I'm saying.
If this is a split, you're still feeling good about this for Dallas.
I'm not saying this is over yet.
Obviously last night was impressive and Chris Stapps was impressive, but not over yet.
I said it.
Well, we talked about poor Zingas and the reason why it's usually a struggle for these
guys coming back after a longer term injury is their team needs them. And so they feel the pressure of having to
return. Chris Saps, poor Zingas last night was really like the charmed
existence of the, the Boston Celtics throughout this playoff run come to life
because they did not have to rush him back against the Indiana Pacers.
They're loaded.
Yeah. Well they've run every single opponent that they've run into their best players been hurt
So it's not like they've really truly been tested
They were tested some in that Indiana series in that the games were all close
There were three games in which Indiana had a plus 90 percent win probability and and they found a way to
To sweep them away, but poor Zingas looked really fresh fresh for a dude that's been hurt for a while.
Yeah.
What's amazing about the Celtics is there's part of me
where they remind me of the 2004 Pistons,
except every single player is more talented.
Like where one through five, every single guy
is capable of going and getting 20,
every single guy is capable of playing defense
against your best player.
Poor Zingus is a better Rashid Wallace.
Oh, I would not say that.
When he's healthy, I mean.
No, Rashid Wallace is amazing.
Al Horford is?
No, but even then, being able to play poor Zingus
now just even 20 minutes,
helps Al Horford not be overexposed
because what was happening in the previous series
was when he was having to play too many minutes,
he was eventually slowing down defensively.
Now, all of these guys, their big man rotation,
they're fresh and all of them
are able to do different things.
The thing that Porzingis brings
that Horford can't offensively
is he's not just taking threes,
he's taking threes from 30 feet,
which is stretching that Mavericks defense in a way that
it makes it almost impossible for them.
And the difference for the Mavericks defensively
in this series against Boston that they didn't have to
account for against Minnesota is they've got Drew Holliday
in the dunker spot, which is essentially right next
to the rim, which means that after pick and rolls
that Boston is running, they're not having to go up against a long defender for the Dallas Mavericks in Lively or Gafford,
who's down there guarding Go Bearer Towns. They're going up against Kyrie at the rim,
and it's creating so many opportunities for Boston on offense as a team that could shoot
the three this way. They're a perfect team. What we'll see is if the Mavericks can get
them down to close games in the final five minutes,
because that's been the one weakness forever.
This coaching matchup isn't exactly Spoh v. Pop.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
So I don't know.
I don't have a lot of eggs in the Ken Jason kid figure this
out basket.
I think the Mavericks, I also know the Mavericks history
this postseason.
And I'm aware that the Celtics will do this.
You'll think the series is over, and then they'll rest on their laurels a little
bit but if I give you out of these West Western Conference teams Denver
Minnesota Dallas I would say Dallas is probably the least equipped to give the
Boston Celtics trouble no matter what he does the rest of his career will Jason
Kidd ever have a better coaching moment than when he spilled a soda on the floor? No, absolutely not. No, that's his moment.
I feel like that was it, like he peaked there. And I would argue, is he in the
Hall of Fame as a player? Oh yeah, Jason Kidd was a great player. Can he go in again as a
coach? He's one of the few in the Hall of Fame who actually deserves to be there.
I mean, what? In the basketball Hall of Fame, they let anyone in. Do they just add?
There's a ton of members that have no business being in any sort
of Hall of Fame. I mean, all good. Fine. That's a good question though.
I truly don't know the answer. I assume. Cause like Lenny Wilkins was in as a
player, right? Yeah. And I don't think he went in separately as a coach.
Did he? I think they just keep adding to your plaque. I don't like that.
What do you mean? Well, if he's, if he made it as a player,
then he's a great coach of a Hall of Fame coach like WWE.
You get it.
A second time like Flair's in as a member of the Four Horsemen.
He's in on his own.
They'll probably go in as a member of evolution like he's like a 14 time
Hall of Famer by the time.
So you want a separate ceremony for the coaching, like a ceremony as a player.
He's just saying it should be acknowledged.
That's all.
I think that's fair, right?
Several players have been inducted into the Hall of Fame
twice individually and as a team.
So like if you're a part of the dream team,
you're in as a member of the dream team.
But nothing on coaches?
Still looking.
I see here that John Wooden was inducted as a player
in 1960 and then a coach in 73.
Bill Russell inducted in 75 in 2021.
So I guess you do get inducted separately.
But this is also Google AI, which might be totally wrong.
Yeah, you can't do that.
Wait, hold on, what?
What's the difference between Google and Google AI?
AI is often wrong.
Oh, so why are you using that?
And often giving very dangerous feedback.
Really? Yeah.
But AI is supposed to be right, correct?
I mean. It's the answer.
Is that the problem?
I mean. Back that the problem?
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Hoo!
Don LeBattard.
For five minutes, I was watching everyone just like,
nope, not letting you in, not letting you in.
So when I got up there, I had to say something
and I said it.
Cheaters never prosper.
Stugats.
My buddy was saying, not today.
Yeah, but you're trying.
Not today.
I think that was what he was adding.
Yeah, that would be so much better.
I'm telling you, the response I got from this guy,
what I said was amazing.
He got him.
Cheaters never prosper.
This guy yelled as angry as he could, I ain't cheating.
This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGards.
["The Stugarts Show Theme"]
Chris asked me in my headset,
imagine having five Chris Dobsport's inguses. You would never. the Chris asked me in my headset,
imagine having five Chris stops
porzingis. You would never on
the say about Horford all the
time. Well, by the way,
speaking of Al Horford,
Boston's dream team. My point
is you would never have five
healthy porzingis. Oh, that's
okay. Yeah, you would never
have a healthy lineup if you
had five. The thing with
porzingis is he's supposed to
be a one or two when he came
into the league. He was supposed to be some sort of generational talent.
And you see it in spurts like last night, but he's never healthy.
And so when Porzingis, a guy who came into the league, is supposed to be a one or a two,
and now he's your fifth option, your fifth option, you have a historic team.
And that's what I've been saying about the Celtics the entire year. Boston's been pretty deep all year but by comparison to this Dallas Mavericks roster,
I ventured in a couple of group chats like I'm not saying he's the worst third leading
scorer to ever make it to a finals. Hell, you may look at last year's Heat and have
a good nominee and certainly whoever the third leading scorer was on the 07 Cavs is probably the answer but Tim Hardaway jr. is among the weakest third guys in the
history of the sport to ever make it to the finals and I know throughout the
playoffs he's kind of not been their third guy and PJ has emerged as that
third guy but on the stats he's third leading scorer on the team and he's one
of the weakest in NBA history. Are you saying making it to the NBA finals?
Just merely making it because I would say whoever the third guy and that Sixers team was Eric snow is number two
It was Iverson snow and I think Matumbo, right?
Matumbo McKee was on there. Yep. Mickey Aaron McKee was on there Tyrone Hill
But Tim Hardaway is certainly like of that ilk Tim Hardaway jr
Yeah, one of the weaker ones and you see like how dependent Luca and I know his conditioning But Tim Hardaway is certainly like of that ilk. Tim Hardaway Jr. Yes.
Is one of the weaker ones.
And you see like how dependent,
Luca and I know his conditioning
has often been called into question.
Dude was sucking wind.
Like nine minutes into that game,
he was incredibly tired.
And from the mixtapes that I've seen put out on social media,
it's not like he was doing a bunch of work defensively,
but they were going at him and that's extra energy
Luca I mean he always has these dimes but he was facilitating like a monster
The problem is who he's passing it to and Kyrie was just not good enough
He Kyrie needs to be super saiyan Kyrie. Yes, they need
Kyrie and Luca to do so much one much one on one that it makes it almost impossible
against the Celtics defense.
We praise their offense,
we praise what Porzingis was able to do.
Porzingis playing in drop coverage last night was tremendous
and what Boston's able to do
that a lot of other teams couldn't is
they trust whatever two guys are being put in a pick and roll
to figure it out themselves
and their other three defenders don't have to help off the rest
of these players.
And so Luca last night put up 30 points.
He put up 10 rebounds.
I don't care.
He really didn't facilitate the ball as well as he's been able
to the rest of this postseason.
Very few.
It's the things that we talk about.
He had one assist, guys.
Well, no, that's the point.
One.
Right.
They had nine assists on 35 field goals as a team.
So he and Kyrie were not able to facilitate the basketball and get the ball moving around the perimeter the way that where you see Boston
It'll be four quick passes and an open three in the corner
the Mavericks were not able to do that at all and it's largely because
Boston chose not to help off of Luca and this is where you give Jalen Brown a ton of credit. He was spectacular one-on-one against Luka Donkic last night
on the defensive end.
And that helped Boston get going offensively.
He picked Luka's pocket a couple of times,
getting them in transition.
It was part of what allowed them to take that giant lead.
And that's what makes Boston so good.
They beat you down early, and they hold onto the lead.
This courtesy of Chris Forsberg of NBC Sports Boston,
Luka Donkic, whenic when 38 year old Al Horford was the primary defender in game
one per NBA tracking. He was one of eight, 0 of 4 from 3. He needs to be better. He
was lousy and he's lazy. I mean I'm so, play defense. No, sprint back, play defense,
rotate, stop leaving guys, shooting open threes, he's lazy.
He is lazy.
And Kyrie Irving, the audacity of that guy to come out,
who has lost 12 straight now to the Boston Celtics,
leader guy, I've changed, saying all the right things,
doing all the right things,
except when he steps on a court in Boston.
That was an all time l lousy NBA Finals performance.
He should be ashamed of himself. People call him one of the
great offensive players of all time. Great handle, best
handles. Oh, he's got handles. He's got handles. You know what
he had? No threes last night. He was terrible, atrocious, and
I don't expect them to rebound in game two because I'm not
confident in their coach. I'm not confident in their coach.
I'm not confident in Luca. I'm not confident in Kyrie and again for the 100 time the Celtics really
good. Let's mark this for the montage. Yeah I mean six of 16 from the field three of seven from three
to 16 points. Oh wait sorry that was Jason Tatum. Yeah I you would think that the hater in me would
at least find solace in that Tatum wasn't very good. It would think that the hater in me would at least
find solace in that Tatum wasn't very good.
It's the earliest I've ever put out an APB for him.
He didn't have to be.
He didn't have to be.
Right.
He didn't have to be.
And his performances in this post-season have,
it hasn't made it fun, like hating on Jason Tatum,
because I really haven't been never throughout,
and I said it at the very beginning of this post-season,
never have my mentions ever been flooded with a good Tatum performance that's like your
words so I hope it comes at some point this postseason but if this postseason
has shown me anything is he's not that guy and that's okay he does not need to
be none of this team this is a very good boss in Celtics team I know what I'm
about to say may sound like I'm taking something away from them They might very well win a championship in another year
But I'm watching this road that they're going through
I'm watching through the guys that they have to that they have to topple right that they have to test their metal against
So they can finally reach the top of the mountain and it's disappointing
It's disappointing because the teams and the trip and the path that they've taken to get there haven't been all that good, haven't been all that difficult, and the moments that I really want to
see, the guy that everyone assumes is the best player on this team does not actually have to
rise to the occasion because the summit is not that tall. Jason Tatum last night, if you want to
be on the side that Mike is talking about, he had three points by the time they were up by 20.
But you can also look at what he did offensively
in setting the table for everybody else,
and he was tremendous.
Every decision that he had to make,
he made the right decision in that first quarter
to help them take the lead.
But when you only have three points at that point
and you're supposed to be, you know, as Stu Gott says,
you're the next Kevin Durant, you normally expect that guy to be the killer going out and scoring 15 points at that point and you're supposed to be, you know, as Stu Gott says, you're the next Kevin Durant.
You normally expect that guy to be the killer going out and scoring 15 points in that first quarter to take the lead. He did different things. And with this group,
he's finally able to just be a table setter for everybody else with the
attention that's brought.
I just want to see good ball. I don't want games like last night. That,
that's not fun for anybody.
You want to see Jason Tate and push to the end of a game.
Yeah. I want to see how we respond to the NBA. I understand that you're not gonna get it though
I mean, you're just not no, I don't think Dallas may not be the team to push them. I just I just honestly
I want good games
It can be the Pacers series as long as the games are good. I want to hear from Billy on this
Well, no, you like you guys like the they won by 18 and it wasn't that close like that score does not indicate how close that correct
They got it to single digits in the second hand player on the team that won by 18 and then you're already
Discrediting them winning a championship that they haven't won saying well if they win
Good enough team so it shouldn't really count
I guess I didn't do a good enough job in that
I know what I was gonna say is gonna sound like I'm taking something away
They very well if they were tested,
they very well may have been the best team in the NBA.
They were certainly the best team.
The metrics would suggest throughout the regular season.
I just wanted to see them go through like a Denver,
someone that is had that championship spirit or go gone through a team that
presented different matchup problems.
They're allowed to just totally bully
Luka Doncic and he's so great that he's going to get his offensive numbers, maybe not the assist numbers
as he highlighted. I just want to see in this finals, I know Luka is great, I want to see him go
shot for shot against somebody, I want to see competitive series and I don't think we're going
to get that if game one's any indication. Dallas can make adjustments to change what Boston has to do defensively.
They did a little bit of that during that run in the third quarter.
And realistically in that first half, their defense just looked lost against Boston.
And they got blown out of the building early and had to do so much to try to come back
against a team that's, you got to mention the stat, what, 46 and 4?
46 and 4, yeah.
When they're up by 17 points?
Like they're a, you know, we've called them front runners,
but I don't mean that pejoratively in this respect,
where once they get that lead,
they're very good at holding onto it.
The one critique has been the end of games,
where you want to see Jason Tatum
or someone else close it out.
But with Dallas, the reason I don't think
this series is necessarily over,
is because there are so many adjustments that you can make from one game to the next.
We've seen Boston lose game twos, we've seen Dallas win game twos, but after watching that
first game, you do see the talent disparity after those first two players, the drop off.
It almost reminds me of what we've talked about in the Stanley Cup, where Edmonton has
the two, potentially two best players, but after that, you would take everybody on Florida
for the next seven or eight.
Hyman would like a word.
Sure, but Boston is a similar thing here,
where, yeah, maybe Luca and Kyrie individually,
you might take above anybody on their team.
I would go for Charlotte, Brian.
But after that, well, after that,
Boston's got the next five, six, seven players.
Who cares, they won by 18
17 point lead this year hand out there Brian trophies for who has the best three for six
I would like to see Joe Missoula be forced to make an adjustment, and I don't see it this year
Well, it's just I'm counting on Jason kid, and I'd like to see Luca hustle
I mean been batting games to not hustling Kyrie said after the game See you this year. Well, it's just I'm counting on Jason kid and I'd like to see Luca hustle
I mean in batting games to not hustling Kyrie said after the game
He thought the Boston Garden would be louder Kyrie. They thought you'd be better. Oh, they thought the game would be closer
Jeremy talked about Dallas is defense drew holiday after the game talked about the Celtics team defense
Thank you guys. Absolutely guys
You don't have to double, white teams have in the past, how much does that help in terms of
keeping him from having to sit on the opposite end line? I think it helps a lot
throwing different guys at him, different guys that play defense differently, some
aggressive, some not, but I think even our white guys guard, so it's hopefully
to challenge on them and hopefully we can continue to do that.
Even our white guys guard.
That's so good.
Should I be laughing?
What's the matter, Billy?
Nothing.
They sound like maniacs, don't they?
It sounds like they think the series is over.
I mean, because it's over.
It is. The big story from last night's game
Jeremy is this it just seems like it's over Tatum gets more credit if they're not dominating
Because they're too good for Jason Tatum to get credit
Yeah, I'd like for it like if they come out to a 20-point lead early on
This is a weird thing because they're a great team
And like I said I have learned throughout this postseason that as ready as I was for the Jason Tatum
conversation and as ready as I was to be taken on like Tatum stands like he's
just not that guy pal like and he does not need to be for them to win this
championship in previous years he's had to be he does that's how good this team
is that's how much better this team is than everybody they've faced so far.
But is part of it he's not that guy because he doesn't need to be that guy?
That's exactly the point that I made. See Martin also. Yeah, he does not need to be that guy this year.
He has had to be that guy.
So you can't take away credit for him not being that guy.
No, I can just share my frustration in that I haven't seen it yet when it comes to him and who's the face of this championship team.
He's going to be the default guy when really from what I've seen so far,
he's the third best player on the court for them.
Jaylen Brown will likely win finals MVP if they win the NBA finals and that
doesn't take away.
No, he's been there best player all postseason. This isn't guys like this is a,
you're the one saying it's over and there's three games to go.
That's what I'm saying.
Jaylen Brown has been their best player
all post-season.
That's not taking anything away from Jason Tatum
and what he's been able to do.
Last night, I mentioned already,
the table setting that he did for the rest of the team
is crucial and important.
And don't forget, he set the table plenty for Dallas, too,
with those turnovers.
But this is obviously, like what we're talking about
is obviously coming from the slanted heat perspective of
Guys who have watched Jason Tatum the last few years go up against the Miami Heat trying to be a number one
Feeling that level of frustration when he doesn't close things out late in games the things that juju has mentioned on the show about him
Not closing things out late in games and then getting to this scenario where you see a team go through a relatively easy
postseason in the Eastern Conference,
and now get to the NBA Finals
where Tatum doesn't have to be the number one guy.
By the way, that doesn't take away from all
of the special things that he's able to do.
I think this is just through the prism of,
this is a guy who has been painted as a next Kevin Durant,
someone who was so close with Kobe,
who wants to have that killer mamba mentality,
and I think what he
does on the basketball floor personally is really impressive.
Jeremy, I'm sorry.
Two minutes.
For what?
What do you do?
Minor penalty, two minutes rambling.
I mean, Tatum's got to have a game in that series.
It's Stugats's perspective.
He might be the next Kevin Durant.
He wins a title for something that he didn't do.
There you go, Billy.
Thank you, StuGottzBook.com.
Check it out.
The big story though, Chris Cody,
I was surprised that he was so outraged by this,
was Stephen A. Smith's entrance into the arena last night.
Not outraged, just like baffled.
Let's put it up here.
We have the B-roll of it.
It is just, he knows what he's doing.
ESPN is the one filming him here.
Like they put this out on ESPN. It's almost like he has what he's doing. ESPN is the one filming him here. Like they put this out on ESPN.
It's almost like they want,
he has like what looks like a bodyguard with him,
just waiting for them to hit this
so that we can talk about it.
Yes, look at this.
He's just, I don't know why this bothers me so much.
Does he have a limp?
Is his leg hurt?
He has a strut, that's what he has, yes.
Like it's just, I've watched this thing 20 times.
Because he loves the attention
He gives someone a watch but he's about to do a wave back
Someone says hey Stephen a yet there you go a little wave to somebody. I don't know why this is just so polarizing
Well, why does it bother you? It doesn't bother me. It's right. It seems to bother you tell ya
He has security that's his body guy, right? If I'm Stephen a Smith, I would have a bodyguard
I would like I'm not crazy his bodyguard is carrying his bag. Yes
Really? It's just this I want to watch this for the rest of the only way that bothers me is that his credentials not visible
That's what I'm saying because he's Stephen a everyone knows who he is
I mean wait if we can loop it one more time
I think not only does his bodyguard have to carry his bag
But I think he also has to wear Stephen a's credential as well
Well, there might be two credentials on there might be when you're Stephen a you don't need identification
I mean seriously when a cop pulls him over he doesn't ask for his license
I'm feeling bad about this
He might just have a hurt knee cuz like from the front it just looks like he has swag
But when he gets level with the camera like right about it just looks like he's limping like from the side
It's a limp from the front. It is just a strut. I think he knows what he's doing. I
Love it. I respect it like I'm not hating on it. I don't know what I feel about it. It's not negative
It's not positive. I just this is a guy man. He knows what he's doing this. This is something
Don libertar we didn't get to your guys's against the red you're right. You're right. I don't have it against the
Because I wasn't prepared for this segment.
You need an Ian in your life.
You have actively played defense against me today
in a way that has rarely been this undercutting.
Stugats!
Defense wins championships, baby.
That's show business.
This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats!
["The Stugats!" theme music plays.]
Steve Goldstein, the voice of the Panthers is gonna join us from the arena in about
20 minutes or so we'll have a mean and charlotte on from Boston. We have the shifters on and Billy just puked it
Into a waste container. Yeah, I mean it wasn't. I coughed and it was as we were getting counted down
to start life, I coughed and I had like some mucus
in my throat as soon as the microphones turned on
and I went and I disposed of it into the waste basket.
I disposed it from my mouth into the basket.
It wasn't puke though.
Are you okay?
I'm fine, I just, the timing was not great at all.
Are you excited because today we release a big episode of God Bless Football?
Yeah, you had a chance encounter with Adam Schefter's mom a few weeks ago in a cruise
And the Schefters join us today on God Bless Football
Yeah, we talked to Shirley and Jeff was just kind of hanging out in the background. So we invited him in also
Oh, it's his dad. Yeah, I was assuming for some reason it was Adam and his mom
No, Adam's not on the episode, just mom and dad.
Yeah, Jeff Schefter.
You'll be shocked to find out, spoiler alert,
Stugat's offered both of them paying jobs.
Check it out with the Schefters.
I mean, come on, they were so lovable, they were so nice.
I want to check in with the Schefters on a weekly basis.
When someone's nice to you, you don't offer to pay them
to do work when you have no intention of paying them
to do work. That's not how you treat people who are nice to you.
But we are having lunch in Boynton Beach.
I mean, I'm looking forward to it.
That I also am willing to bet will never happen.
Hmm, some bagels, little tuna fish.
Why don't you promise people anything?
Billy, I would love, I'm serious,
on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon,
nothing would bring me more happiness
than going to have a little brunch with the Schefters.
And this is why you're so interesting,
because I believe you.
Right.
And you still won't go.
And has no intention of doing it.
It's a long drive.
The thing that'll oddly bring him more happiness
is just not going.
Saying that he will go.
Finding.
And then finding my way out, yes.
Not going.
And not for a particular reason or anything.
He just doesn't go.
When you find that reason that you're like,
this will work.
Oh, God.
You're just like an over-committer.
I am, I am.
You can have a pleasant experience with someone
and that be the end of it.
And then maybe you have another one.
But like, anytime you have a good experience with anyone,
you wanna like, let me ask you this.
Okay.
You strike me as someone that went on like a good first date
and like I'm getting married to this person,
like right away.
Or falling in love with a stripper.
Yep.
That's a loud laugh, I heard being through a laugh.
Did you see, there's a strip club,
a gentleman's club in Las Vegas
that is getting sued by the spearmint rhino.
And the name of the gentleman's club is the Peppermint Hippo.
Oh.
You can understand why the lawsuit came about.
Are you wondering which one I confirm there, Chris?
Can't compete with the Rhino.
Ha ha ha ha.
So the Schefters on God Bless Football.
Yeah.
Check it out if you want.
If not, cool.
Live your life.
I want to talk about doors with Lucy.
What? Doors. The holding of live your life I want to talk about doors with Lucy what doors the holding of doors because I went to the sphere
It's a very dangerous game holding doors
because
Occasionally you go to a place like I went to the sphere
I was staying at the Venetian Hotel at a busy casino is a very dangerous place to hold the door
Because I was holding a door it was hot outside
It's a hundred and ten in Vegas today, by the way, but it was hot outside.
And I held the door open for a nice couple that was walking
through, but because the nature of casinos are you never know
what a large pack is going to come walking through there.
It could be in the morning.
It could be anytime during any single day in Las Vegas.
I found myself outside.
My intention when I held the door open was I would hold it
for a minute or so for this one couple
that was walking towards the door.
So I did it.
They thanked me, they walked through the door.
And then a group of 15 came by right after them.
And I kept holding the door.
And then another group came by, and another group came by, and another group came by and another group came by and I'm sitting there thinking
to myself a this is not my job B when do I shut the door C should I start asking
for tips it is a very dangerous game Lucy holding open doors it's also a
dangerous game because you run the risk of not holding a door open for me.
Ever since I have moved to Miami,
I have become less of a nice person, less kind.
And it has started to consume me a little bit.
So when I hold the door for someone, which I always do,
if there are some, like not too long,
like if you're a while away,
I'm not gonna hold the door open for you,
that just makes them uncomfortable.
Where's the line on that, right?
That's the whole thing here.
Right, well.
If I can like, I don't know,
if you're within 15 seconds of being at the door,
then I'll hold it for you,
but like I don't want you to have to feel like
you need to do the little walk run to come to the door.
15 seconds is plenty, that's far away.
It is also like, if it's like an older woman or something,
then you're like, you know what, I wanna help you out.
But I have, I always, well you can tell when they look old.
So I will hold the door, and if you do not say thank you,
I will follow you and say, hey,
you're welcome for holding the door.
Really? Really.
Every time.
Always or that's just a now thing? It's happened, like I've done it a bit before,
but it's become more recent.
It happened to me actually not in Miami
when I was in Oregon.
This guy, he had his hands full.
He had a drink and his lunch,
and he needed someone to hold the door open for him.
I said, no problem.
So I hold the door open for him,
and he doesn't say thank you.
And then there's another door,
and I open and hold the other door for him and he doesn't say thank you. And then there's another door and I open
and hold the other door for him
because he doesn't have the hands go through
and he doesn't say thank you.
And it pissed me off so much.
It should.
That I was like, hey, you're welcome.
And he was just, he didn't say anything back.
Also, if you let the door hit me, I'll say,
hey, thanks for holding the door.
Because you should just say thank you,
and you should just hold the door for people
because it's a kind, nice thing to do.
And it's not something that people really do here,
and it makes me super angry,
so I catch myself yelling at strangers all the time.
Is this a thank you thing,
or this is specific for door holding?
It's a courtesy thing.
Like are there other thank you situations
that you require a thank you, or is it just doors?
I don't know, like doors are the most common one, but I remember when I was a server, obviously you can't say just doors? Um, like, I don't know. Like, doors are like the most like common one,
but like I remember when I was a server,
obviously you can't say it because you like want a tip,
but if people wouldn't say thank you,
that would really piss me off.
Just like if you're doing something even like
slightly out of your way, a little kind for someone,
you should say thank you.
If you sneeze and someone doesn't give you like a bless you
or a gesundheit or something, is that bothering you?
I don't care about that.
Okay.
I don't care about that either. Yeah, I don't care about about that but like holding the door. I would say chasing them down the
hall until they say thank you is a tad aggressive. I just do it as they're walking in and I realize
they haven't said thank you I'm like hey you're welcome. Yeah like that one guy that was a little
aggressive right and he was like a little bit younger than me I and so I was like someone
didn't teach you to do this, so I'm gonna do it.
But like, usually it's, I'm not chasing them down so much
as when they go out the door, I'm like,
hey, you're welcome for holding the door.
I'm not crazy here though, like you're aware of that, right?
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay.
I not only don't want somebody to say,
God bless me when I sneeze.
I literally, I don't get mad at them if they don't do it.
I don't want them to do it. Why? Because I don't want people to notice when I sneeze.
I like to go like, if I feel like you know I sneeze, then you're thinking to yourself,
ew, that's gross. You just sneezed. Plus, sneezing has changed since COVID. I
don't want anyone to acknowledge my sneeze. I will run into my house and hide when I have
to sneeze. I mean, I'm serious. That's not true.
I mean, if I'm on a plane, I won't do that.
I'll just let it out.
But I try to stifle sneezes now more than ever.
No, seriously, I try to go hide when I have to sneeze.
Billy, I sneeze in here.
But on a plane, of all places,
and in a closed place, you'll let it out.
You can't hide there.
You have to, yeah.
You can't hide.
Where are you gonna go?
You can do the thing where,
I've popped blood vessels because I've like held my like in
This knee situation. I'll like hold hold my nose and I'll hold my mouth like my mouth will be closed
I was like and I'm like wow this is like how I would imagine you get like an ulcer or something
I've never tried that actually just close all don't do it. It's not great. It's like spongebob. It has to explode somewhere
Yeah, go somewhere man. I'm telling all of a sudden. It's coming out of your ears, but Billy
You're a hypochondriac like you're in the you're at the doctor's office every other day. I feel like. No I've gotten better
I know but if I sneezed in the studio right now, you would judge me
You would be like go outside do it somewhere else. Yeah, I'm telling you sneezing's change. You'd sneeze in a gross fashion
I thought it was coughing that's changed. Sneezing. Sneezing we got into. Coughing's bad
My thing with sneezing is I kind of have like an embarrassing sneeze.
It's really high pitch.
It kind of sounds like a cat.
And I always do it three times.
I do multiple sneezes too.
It's three times.
Every single time it's more than one.
Roy does like eight in a row.
Really?
Remember Roy, like if Roy sneezes once,
he literally will sneeze seven times.
Jess has a crazy sneeze.
Jess sneezes insane.
Yeah.
It is rare where I go past two sneezes.
That's it.
Really? Yeah. It's rare that I stop past two sneezes. That's it. Really?
Yeah.
It's rare that I stop at two.
Hmm.
I always go past two.
Billy has told me my sneezes smell.
Yeah, sneezes definitely smell.
Oh, all of them do?
Yeah.
No, a lot of people's sneezes smell.
It's not just you.
I just remember one time at the old studio,
this was probably five years ago,
I sneezed and Billy's like,
oh, I smell that.
Yeah, it's not just you.
And I've been self-conscious of it ever since.
No, it's not just you.
I can smell other people's sneezes.
Like if you sneeze out like the spit or whatever. I'm so relieved right now. No. No, it's not just you. I can smell other people's sneezes. If you sneeze out the spit or whatever.
I'm so relieved right now.
No, yeah, it's not a you thing.
I'm sorry that you felt that way.
Been hanging onto that for half a decade?
I honestly think of Billy almost every time I sneeze now.
I'm like, ooh, who's smelling this?
It's not you, it's not you.
I smell a lot of people's sneezes.
It's the grossest smell in the world,
but it's not just you.
And I'm sure my sneeze smells to other people.
It's like farts.
Like you don't smell your own fart, you're like,
eh, whatever.
But if other people fart, you're like, that's disgusting.
Yes, I enjoy the smell of my farts.
I mean, everyone does.
I guess, I don't think everyone does.
You're weird if you don't.
I disagree.
Have you not seen Austin Powers?
Is that what we're
using? Everyone loves their own brand. To settle this debate.
How'd your story, how'd your door story end? You just walked
away. Oh. Wow. What happened? Ah, breaking news folks. We
have confirmed. You can go in to the hall of fame as both a
player and a coach according to Jay Jackson, Jason Jackson, who
is watching the program this morning. Wow, why?
Don't know?
Thanks for watching.
Why is he watching?
Shout out to Jax.
Why is he helping us?
What'd you ask me, by the way?
How'd your door story end?
I feel like the movie is-
Let me hold in the door forever.
No, but I feel like the movie is you just like,
you start slowly walking away
and your hand starts like sliding off the edge of the door,
then someone that's coming will like step in and grab it.
There's like an eye contact you make with somebody that's like, all right, we're passing this door off.
Yeah, exactly right. Hand it off like a baton. There was no one to pass it off to. Why was that?
That's impossible. At some point, you just let it go. There's a bunch of people with no arms. How is this possible?
I was at a dead show. I mean, it was 8 30 in the morning. There was no one out there but me. I went out
to have a heater and the next thing I knew was a doorman. Well, there was people out there more than just you.
You're holding doors for everybody. Yeah, but they were tourists.
You know, people go to Vegas.
They do the strip.
They go from hotel to hotel to hotel to hotel.
Listen, people, I got news for you.
They all look the same.
They all have casinos.
They all have slot machines, and they're all a waste of time
and your money, all right?
I mean, seriously.
And I held the door and I held it for a good 20 minutes.
That's not even remotely close.
A good 10 minutes? Not even seconds. It was about a minute. I
Don't believe that's true. No, it was that second sounds like a long time that you wait for that's what I was saying
That's I stuck my hand out at one point 15 seconds is like three first rounders
40
What's going on with tennis Mike? Sinner's playing out of his mind right now. Is he? Yeah.
Alcáceres is threatening to make this a game but Sinner's like a cyborg. Some guys are different
on that clay. We know that. You and I know that. Yeah but it's not like Alcáceres is bad on that.
Right. And Sinner like both these guys would be going
for their first French Open.
I can't imagine how pissed off guys like Roddick,
Isner and Fisch are watching this tournament right now,
knowing that Federer Nadal's out of the way
and Djokovic had to withdraw because of his knee injury.
It's so wide open.
They finally cleared out.
Yeah, it's so wide open.
That's why guys like Warenka and Murray are still playing.
Because I've waited my entire career for these guys
to be out of the way.
I'm not just going to hang it up the second that they do.
You're right.
Roddick was Sinner, essentially.
But Sinner has much easier pads to win these Grand Slams
than Roddick ever had.
Talking tennis.
We're going to have Steve Goldstein on.
We're going to have Amin and Charlotte on from Boston as well.
I don't know what we talked to them about because the series
started and ended last night.
I mean, they can go home.
Who's your MVP?
My MVP?
Yeah.
Poor Zingas.
I hate what you've done, Billy.
What did I do?
I'm just talking sports.
The MVP is the GM, Brad Stevens. Actually, yeah. That's for putting together that fan of Billy. What we'll do is we'll say that Lucas stunk.
Backstreet's back, all right.
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