The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The "Rite In The Butt" & Penis Filler Show
Episode Date: May 24, 2024Today's cast: Dan, Amin, Billy, Jessica, JuJu, Lucy, Roy, and Tony. ***NSFW CONTENT WARNING (sort of)*** Dan is in on a Friday because we have some hugely important topics to cover: The Cut's Penis Fi...ller story and a man who said "right in the butt" on Wheel of Fortune. So, you know, just a normal Friday around here. Then, as we discuss the Celtics dominating their way through the postseason after a Game 2 win last night, Amin wants to place an asterisk on their success ahead of any trip to the NBA Finals. Plus, the 1980s are what the 1950s used to be, the feeling of knowing you're doing something for the last time, and JuJu's literal victory lap around the studio for being right about everything all the time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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How do you imagine that the iguana gets into the toilet?
It's a debate that's been ongoing. They're incredible swimmers, by the way. Have you seen
an iguana in a canal, Dan? Oh yeah, they are They are moving dude like a jet ski. I need to explain I guess that they do move fast and
they move they I'm surprised put it on the poll at Levitage Show did you know that iguanas were
exceptional swimmers but they are not indigenous to our area they shouldn't be here so I don't know
why they're in Jalen Phillips's toilet. They're not indigenous to toilets for sure.
Like that definitely did not belong in there.
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
You think they're indigenous to toilets?
Like that's their natural habitat?
Look, I'm just saying, man, like it's a big world.
What are you saying?
You're saying something that I think a lot of people
would understand that what you're saying is idiotic.
No, well, do you think there's a like a-
Name calling, is that what we're referring to?
Yeah, that's, come on.
It's not name calling, it's you just said you
intellectual is indigenous to the toilet like I didn't say that I said it's a big
world we don't know about it do you think Jalen Phillips diet attracted the
iguana like something that he ate and then processed through the toilet
attracted whatever gets processed and gets put in the toilet or was it a
heist it's something the iguana likes the corn another? Or was it a heist? The iguana likes the corn.
Was it a heist?
What was the iguana doing there?
What was the point?
Because in the meeting we found out,
someone Googled, can iguanas live underwater?
Then we were talking about plumbing
and how much water is in toilet pipes.
Is it completely filled?
Is it partially filled?
Nobody knows anything about plumbing here.
But we found out that iguanas can survive underwater
for four hours, which then led us to another debate
of how did you find that out?
Like was there a person that was holding iguanas underwater
and then timing how long the iguana lived for
and then at four hours the iguana died?
And then how many iguanas died in this experiment?
Because you can't just have the one iguana that you killed after four hours, you have to have killed many iguanas died in this experiment? Because you can't just have the one iguana
that you killed after four hours.
You have to have killed multiple iguanas
underwater, theoretically, right?
The cruel cost of science.
Lucy, do you remember the first time
you saw an iguana in South Florida?
Were you surprised by it?
I know a lot of people who come down here
are surprised by both the size of the lizards
and then when they see something
that looks like a miniature dinosaur running up a tree.
Yeah, I hate those little lizards, they freak me out.
But I remember, I've only ever seen like one or two iguanas,
there's not a ton in like the neighborhood I live in.
I hate them, don't like them.
There are some very cool birds
in the neighborhood I live in though.
Oh my God, I got a bird app, so I'll see one,
I'll take a little picture and they'll tell me
what type of bird it is. What type of birds have you seen? Larry, I got a bird app, so I'll see one, I'll take a little picture and they'll tell me what type of bird it is.
What type of birds have you seen?
Larry, is there a record?
No record, but I see the great egrets all in my neighborhood.
They got a real funky neck.
I have a lot of great egrets.
Oh, I was like, minor egrets, sorry.
Bird watching's kind of boring, right?
I mean, Amin should get two minutes for boring, right?
That's not...
That's not boring.
Alright, then...
Okay, high shticking something.
There's...
Oh, that's a good one!
That's...
On your game today, Dano.
This is the Dan Leventor Show with the Stoogats Podcast.
This is the Don Lebatore Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
I have very little information as I sit down here and as Jess rushes into the room
why it is that she came in today
yelling about penis filler
and then giving no further information to anybody.
So I'm eager for an elaboration.
Before you start talking Jess, let me just set this up.
Jess walks in and says,
oh, there's this hilarious article you have to read it.
I said, okay, where is it?
She said, I said, send me the link.
She says, no, just Google it. It's on the cut. And I said, okay. And she it? She said, I said, send me the link. She says, no, just Google it.
It's on the cut.
And I said, okay.
And she walks away and I start typing,
the cut penis filler.
And then I realized before I hit search,
I'm like, this is a trap.
You just wanted me to have the worst Google algorithm ever.
Well, I did put it in Slack yesterday
and I put not safe for work.
So if we are gonna talk about this article,
we should put a content warning
because this article is weird.
Okay, we will put it off to the side
because I do want to know what.
The article or the story or the penis?
The penis.
We're gonna put the penis off to the side.
We're gonna tuck it in our waistband for a minute.
We're also gonna get to this viral wheel of fortune minute,
but in a minute, but moment in a minute.
But Amin is already willing to put an asterisk
on the Celtics title because we need these things
to be difficult, to be earned.
We need, I think 14 years ago when the Miami Heat
rose from that stage, one of the reasons people mocked it is because that's going to be too easy.
And then LeBron did actually end up getting respect because it wasn't easy.
We saw that it wasn't easy.
They're 10 and two in the playoffs.
They've won as many games already by 15 or more points in the playoffs than any
postseason team ever. And the others have won the title
They've won in half of their games this year. They've had a 20-point lead
That's crazy. That's a crazy statistic that in half of their games
They've they've had a 20-point lead not so crazy Dano when you look at who they played. I'm talking about the season
I'm not talking about the postseason. I'm talking about the entire season. They played the league. That doesn't matter.
None of that stuff matters, throw it out the window.
Man, I'm gonna tie the hand out.
Look, this is why you play the regular season.
Don't load manage and get first place
because if you get first place,
your schedule is easier than everybody else.
Next.
It ain't the schedule we're talking about.
We're talking about the people who are hurt.
Doesn't matter, that's why you're positioning yourself
to be in that league, to play those specific teams.
To play the hurt teams?
Luck of the draw, brother, luck of the draw.
How does that work?
Hold on, I'm not following.
I'm not following.
They position themselves to play the heat
that Jimmy Butler would get hurt in the play-in?
Play-in tournament, yes, next.
But Jimmy Butler got hurt in the play-in?
Because they had to play extra games
to be able to play the first place team
this isn't adding up donovan mitchell gets hurt even though he was having a good series before that
tyrese haliburton gets hurt in game one of the or game two of of the conference well they're not going to say it's asterisks this is the nba playoffs no i'm throwing asterisks on that
i'm throwing asterisks on every one of you Come on man. Do you want to elaborate on your point or you just want to throw an asterisk on him?
I interrupted him.
That's my fault.
No, no, it's all good.
I like the pushback, but I just can't fathom how much easier your path can be, not because
of your seeding, right?
They could have been the five seed,
but the fact that they're playing guy who gets hurt now,
not guy who got hurt in March
and now that's why they fell to whatever seed there,
guy who gets hurt right now in the, think of this,
Jimmy Butler in the play-ins,
so two games before he had to face the Celtics,
Donovan Mitchell in the second round,
and then now Tyrese Halliburton
here in the conference finals.
Look, Tom Aventer has this thing where you can put an asterisk on every single champion
in the history of the league.
Every single championship you can say, well, the Warriors first one, well, Kevin Love and
Tyrese Gallagher.
And history doesn't remember any of that shit.
Winn-Horse says all the time, you don't have to ever apologize for a championship. No. Nobody cares about any of that shit. Like Windhorse says all the time, you don't have to ever apologize for a championship. Like nobody cares about any of that. The only championship people seem to remember
the asterisk for is the Lakers bubble one, which is a weird one because it's like acting like the
Lakers played in a bubble when nobody else did. Everybody played in a bubble so it can't be easier
for one team or another. But it's true, like the Pistons won in 89, right?
They lost in 88 and they won in 89.
They don't say that 88, Isaiah Thomas got hurt in game six.
No one brings that up, right?
Or if they bring it up, it's usually
to glorify Isaiah Thomas, right?
Like he got hurt and he still had this incredible game six.
And then in 89, they swept the Lakers
Nobody talks about everybody on the Lakers are hurt magic magic Johnson was out magic was hurt magic was hurt
Kareem was hurt everybody was hurt like it was like worthy and a couple other guys, right? So
We don't remember all those things, but I wonder in an age of internet and information
Will people remember that the Celtics,
because the other thing also,
is they don't look dominant doing it in this post season.
Well, wait a minute, hold on a second.
I just told you they've got more 15 point wins
than any other team throughout playoffs.
They've got as many, the top team has six
and they've got six and they've still got games to play.
Do you remember any of the other teams on that list?
They all won the championship,
all the other teams on the list.
Can you give me an example of one of those teams?
I'll let you look it up real quick.
No, it's not about looking it up.
I know what you're saying.
What you need is moments, you need game sevens,
you need things out there that show you
Tatum is winning games.
Right now as it stands to have this wrong
that tatum signature moment in this league is bam blocking him at the rim
like in terms of one play if you have to say what i remember one jason tatum
play
and how it is that he did it we'd like it to be hard we like it to be earned
and we'd like to remember the moments when you earned it and how you earned it
winning in five and it's weird to me
because I would say they're being hurt
by how dominant they are.
See, that's where I disagree with you.
I wanted you to give me the other names on the list
not because of, oh, it has to be hard or whatever.
I'm saying that because those other teams
were downright scary.
People were terrified of the 83 Sixers.
People with, I'm just guessing, I don't know who's on that list. People were terrified of the 83 Sixers. People were, I'm just guessing, I don't know
who's on that list. People were terrified of the 87 Lakers. People were terrified of
the 96 Bulls, of the 2017 Warriors. Like, they were dominant and it was like, it was,
what are we going to do now? And with the Celtics, it feels like, win or lose, black
and white numbers aside, we're all looking at it like, they're not that good.
That's the vibe that everybody gets.
But I don't have that vibe.
They've been that good this year.
Can I ask you, Amin, a question
as an aspiring old person?
So you were quoting things that happened in the 1980s,
40 years ago at this point.
I grew up in the 1990s.
The equivalent is people quoting things that happened in the 1950s. And I remember up in the 1990s. The equivalent is people quoting things
that happened in the 1950s.
And I remember thinking in the 1990s,
holy crap, that was a million years ago,
when it was 40 years ago.
Like 1950s, when you were in like the 1990s,
seemed like a whole nother generation
and a whole nother time.
So I imagine now, that like people in 2020, I know but like
I just imagine that in the 1950s like the world was in
black and white like cars were just gray because that's how
things were in the 1950s.
So like young people that are listening to you talk about
basketball from the 1980s.
Do they feel the same way that I felt in the 1990s?
1000% Billy you weren't here yesterday
But we were talking about Bill Simmons kind of shitting on the Florida Panthers like Miami
You don't know anything about hockey
You just got hockey like in 1993 and I said that just shows how old he is. He thinks 1993 is like yesterday
He's he's saying it like you just got in 1993. I said most of the players in the league were born after 1993.
Let me ask the group this question
for a movie of the time that a lot of people
would have it on their list of greatest movie ever made.
Public fiction is now 30 years old.
Does that feel like it's a generation removed
or does it feel like Magic Johnson got injured
before a series against the Pistons
in terms of how long ago that was,
because it was 30 years ago,
but it crosses across generations.
I think Billy's making a good point.
People in the 1990s did not want to hear
about what was happening in the 1950s at all.
Not true, not true.
Back to the Future was still really popular.
And that movie was set in the 50s.
I think it doesn't help that, like,
highlights from the 50s look a lot older to us.
See, that's what I'm saying. I thought that's the way the world looked. from the 50s look a lot older to us.
See, that's what I'm saying.
I thought that's the way the world looked.
I thought everything just moved really slow back in 1950.
And it was the quality of the camera, just crap.
By the way, has Quentin Tarantino made his last movie yet?
Cause like, wasn't there like a last one
that we've been hearing about for?
Yeah, but then he was like, this isn't the last one.
Get on it, enough with this guy already.
The next one is allegedly the best one.
Allegedly, but that's what we should know. No, I think he said that it's allegedly not anymore. Didn't he mean movie expert do it
I thought he did welcome the cinephobe. No, I don't I didn't hear the recanting of the next one not being the last one
I'm the next one is supposed to be the last one or story
Well, tell us the penis filler story now. We've waited long enough and people are getting filler in their penis. What does that mean?
What do you mean? what does it mean?
Like, it just, it makes the dick fatter, I don't get it.
Like. Hey.
Content warning, yes.
Oh.
In South Florida, I have told the story of,
because we're a little bit third world down here,
occasionally you will hear the story
of somebody who got butt implants and did it with like fix a flat
or some concrete ridiculousness in a warehouse.
It's horrors that you have all over South Florida
in this regard, but you're filling the penis with what?
Fill her.
Okay.
You guys know what filler is?
No.
Like lip filler?
Like for your face.
Yes, there you go.
Collagen, they're putting collagen in a cock?
It's not collagen.
Cockagen, right?
Like Botox. What is filler made out of? I don't know what filler is made out of, but I know it looks like for your face, collagen? They're putting collagen in a cock? It's not collagen. Cockatoo?
Like Botox.
What is filler made out of?
I don't know what filler's made out of,
but I know it looks good on certain people
and bad on others.
Well, so this is one of those stories,
someone did a lot of, reported a lot of research on this,
and informed me that this is a thing that's happening,
and my initial reaction was, oh my God,
I never in a million years would have thought
that technology would take us here, but then after I read it I was
like how did I ever think that this wasn't happening I know what I mean I
have an anatomical question so it was answered in the story okay so should I
just read the story I guess I can read it I mean there's well I'm just a bit
about a mushroom and I'm curious'm curious because the consistency in that area
changes at times, you know what I mean?
Certain things happen and sometimes it's harder
than other times.
So is the filler hard, is the filler soft,
is the filler noticeable when that changes shape?
So filler is a gel.
It is made out of hyaluronic acid, calcium,
hun-nuh-nuh-nuh.
Wait a minute.
What is that?
It's science.
No, that's what it's science.
It's chemistry.
That's the technical name for it.
Filler is like a gel, so sometimes you'll notice that
when women get lip filler, that the top of their lip
looks really weird, it's because it can migrate.
So that's the question I have.
So migrating.
It can migrate, it'll move.
Like a buffalo.
Yeah, and you can get filler dissolved.
You are the world's most immature 40 year old person
because you're just treating this segment as
where do I get to say synonyms for penis?
Like this is all you're doing.
I'm sorry, is this a science show?
Is this Bill Nye the Science Guy?
No, I just, I-
Imagine that being on like a Saturday morning for kids,
like Bill Nye is gonna tackle penis filler.
It's just amazing to me how quickly you,
particularly as an adult,
gravitate toward lowest common denominator.
Like you will get there quickly with it.
You don't need much permission.
You're just looking for different words to say penis. You've already used four of them and we've gotten like a minute into
this segment.
A minute to this segment.
What does the gel do though? Like I don't understand. Because like lips don't get erect.
They stay like lips.
It adds girth. It fills.
But Billy's asking an important question.
Where does the filler go?
Other things that you fill
typically have the same properties, right?
Versus this particular organ, the shlong,
it sometimes is a certain way,
and other times it's another way.
Let's say you hop into an ice bath,
and the turtle goes back into the shell.
Where does the filler go?
That actually was not answered in the article.
We may need to do some additional reporting.
Any volunteers?
Since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the best
way to grill.
One thing not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
And not just any beer will do.
Whether you barbecue Texas style to celebrate Wednesday with burgers and dogs, you need a beer that tastes great and is less filling so you
have more room for food. You need Miller Lite. As you guys may or may not know, I'm
a pretty decent cook, especially behind the barbecue. So when I start the fire
for my smoker on a hot day, really the only thing that I have to worry about is
what wood I'm gonna use. The easiest decision for me is what I'll be drinking.
That's a nice ice-cold can of Miller Lite. Oh and by the way here's a pro tip, it
really goes well with brisket. Miller Lite keeps it simple,
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grill masters across America. With the Miller Lite in hand, grilling doesn't
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ounces. Don LeBretard. I ain't never met nobody in the world that's done hate on blues clues. Great nomination.
Who don't like blues clues? If you don't like blues clues you're a loser.
Stugats. Look you get one paw print, that's the first clue.
You put it in a notebook, now what do you do?
Blues Clues, Blues Clues.
Sit on the chair and think about it.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats!
I am waiting for you over the course of today's show to give us more and more information
here.
I want to get to, you can come out from hiding there Juju behind your paperwork. I want to get
to this Wheel of Fortune moment from last night, but before I do that, I want to talk
about Juju's Celtics fandom because he's not here for you putting an asterisk on their
dominance and no matter how much Miami hates
watching Boston do this and Boston do it easily I really would have liked to see
Halliburton in at the end of that game because the way the Pacers play is super
interesting I don't think there's another team in the history of sports
whose name represents its identity quite this way. They lead the league in pace. They are, they
play a style of basketball that I love watching running up and down. And Halliburton is a
wild card. You take him out of the game, you eliminate their chances. The game was closed.
Siakam was playing great in that game. Jaylen Brown was better and better on both ends because
Jaylen Brown was great defensively. But you're taking Umbridge they're 10 and 2 they're wiping the floor with everybody and we
continue instead of celebrating their greatness to question the dominance
because of the injuries on the opponent everyone is sitting here still
questioning this team even though their path has been easy they've made it look
easy is it the two losses by twenty points at home
yes and i'm one of the people who question is well act
what i came in here you know i forgot to do
turn off my fandom and be back in here so i i heard him and i was like what you
talking about my objective journalist yeah but you know i'm not sure that
wilder mom my dog michael sheriffs little but this is the brothers in arms
so he had he's right but i we got to play the jim's right, bro. We got to play the Jimmy Butler-less Heat.
We got to play the Donald B. Mitchell and Caris LaVert-less
and Jared Allen-less Cavs.
And now we're benefiting from Tyrese Halliburton's injury.
And I think that this path, although a little bit easier,
is also not benefiting us
because we're not battle tested for this West.
This West is coming off of throwing arrows at each other
every quarter, so you're right, bro.
I was defensive, and you know what?
I salute you, and I'm accountable.
I was wrong.
And Juju, your accountability and your honesty
has inspired me to be honest as well.
The reason I'm doing this is not to troll Celtics fans.
It's to troll Knicks fans.
Because I know they're like,
oh, I thought you guys said injuries are part of the game!
No. It's only part of the game when y'all lose.
When everybody else is benefiting from it, now it's a problem.
The Celtics would also point out that they're doing this without poor Zengiz.
The all-NBA team, god I heard snubbed so much about Jalen Brown last night,
but the all-NBA teams, all of the players are out west.
All is it like 11 or 12 of the 15 players in all NBA talk are all out west.
Jalen Brown I don't believe you just saw a great performance from him last night and
I don't believe that most of the people listening to this think he is one of the league's elite
players who could be a one.
Like I don't think they think of Jalen Brown as someone who could be a one and I don't think that
they think he deserves the amount of money that he's making either and I'm not the one doing that.
I'm just doing I'm just telling you that perception nationally on what Jalen Brown is is you're going
to have to keep showing me that in the finals and hold up the trophy.
And then as soon as Jaylen Brown does that, we're gonna say, Jason Tatum, why didn't you
do that instead?
We're already saying that by Jason Tatum.
We're already having questions about Jason Tatum and his validity as a superstar in this
league.
Look, Jaylen Brown's a hell of a player.
He absolutely was a snub.
That one was the one that stood out to me because if we're gonna say the Celtics
have the best record but it's not because of their coach,
so he's nowhere near the coach of the year ballot,
and it's not because of Jason Tatum who was not,
I don't believe he was, was he top five?
He was sixth in the MVP balloting.
Then it has to be because they have a bunch of good players
and Jalen Brown is one of them, right?
It can't be both.
I was shocked.
That was the thing that shocked me, Dan.
Wasn't so many West Coast guys or whatever.
It was the MVP ballot was five players.
The All-NBA First Team, which is now positionless,
was a different five players.
Why wasn't Jalen Brunson First Team All-NBA?
Dan, so the All-NBA teams came out
and I wanna get out on the front end because people
were, I don't want it to seem like we're hiding or covering up anything because people
are writing to us.
Stan Van Gundy was not your source saying that BAM was the 13th best center in the
league.
We've covered that ground and we joked about how that was the case.
However, it was revealed that Stan didn't have BAM as first or second team.
Oh, really?
Yes, so it didn't help that cause and that argument
for the people saying that it wasn't Stan.
By the way, if you like Stan Van Gundy's
South Beach Session today with Stan Van Gundy,
you can check that out.
But, Stan did himself no favors by not voting for BAM.
So wait, Stan had a different list
and it was like nine better centers
and not the one that was 12 better, is that maybe what it is?
I just know that we, you know, some of us,
no names here, had a little fun saying,
was Dan Soros saying that there was 13 centers
better than Bam?
You were the sum of us.
Some of us were having some fun with that
and then we were told that was definitely not the source
but then yesterday, Stan's ballot came out
and Bam was not first or second team,
which did not help the truthers out there
thinking that it was Stan.
I had not noticed that.
The thing that I noticed about Stan's voting
is that everyone else voted Chet Holmgren
the second best rookie in rookie of the year voting
except for Stan.
I thought Chet Holmgren was a football coach.
I thought he was related to the football coach.
Is he not?
You're doing a Dana Holgerson thing there, I think.
No, Mike Holmgren.
Mike Holmgren.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, he looks nothing like Mike.
But Chet is also a coach name, or a NASCAR driver name.
Oh man.
Chet Holmgren.
Or Tom Hanks' son.
In the 48 car.
Chet's had that.
Or like Chet Holmgren, I think, is like a driver
for like those dirt tracks tracks or like the weird cars
or like those wings on the roof
and they just go in circles real quick
and then every once in a while, like every 10 years,
you see somehow obviously,
cause there's a wing on the roof,
it just flies off and it flies over the fence.
Bro, speaking of wings,
the reason that Jalen Brown excels and not Jason Tatum,
because every time you see Jason Tatum,
he's fading away against TJ McConnell.
Jalen Brown has took it upon himself to go to the paint,
drive, head fake, because you're gonna get money there.
You're gonna get either free throws, foul, or both.
And for some reason, the superstar Jason Tatum
still is scared, like J.J. Burrell in LeBron.
He's still fading away on little defenders, bro.
You say he's scared, but J.J. Riddick was praising him a lot.
So was Doris Burke on what he was doing in the lane.
Okay, JJ Reddick said something.
A news flash, they don't know every damn thing.
Like, I'm saying a lot of stuff that a lot of these professional folks are getting on
TV and finally saying, and y'all are giving him like, look, Pat McAfee said it.
I said it on the Hollywood six weeks ago.
So salute to JJ Reddick, but come on.
Do you want to take the victory lap?
I'm still looking. And Thursday Thunder hit last night too, by the way. Yes, it did. Marina Mabry, but come on. Do you want to take the victory lap? I'm still looking
Last night to by the way, yes, it did Marina Mabry six rebounds. All right, you had her plus five and a half All right
Do me a favor and let's set up the segment where juju gets to take this victory lap
physically holding a microphone and giving us all the things that he got correct so that we can become the reincarnation of PTI where
Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser just tell us the next day all the things they got right the day before
Is Mike Holmgren still with us? Yes. Oh, is he not? Yes. He is
No, I don't think he's that old I'm gonna say 73 at LeBattard show
Chet
coach or race car driver, I thought Mike Holmgren and Andy Reid were the same person for the longest time dude
same notes
Put it on the pole, please. Did you think that Mike Holmgren and
Andy Reid were the same person for a long time one thing about Chet Holmgren really quick
I want to get your guys's opinion on this ever since the the commercial with him and
SGA came out the what a pro wants commercial
I could I moved him down in my rankings for rookie of the year because of that commercial
I was like, how can you be attached to something so poor as a product?
Huh, you have a vote? Huh?
Do you have a vote?
Internal.
Internal.
Don't worry about it.
But I kept moving him down because that commercial was so bad.
Did anybody else feel that or no?
I did too.
And I took SGA off the MVP ballot for it as well.
Wow.
Thank you.
So was Bam on the all NBA, not on the all NBA list or all defensive list for Stan?
He was not on his first and second all defensive teams Wow really yeah yeah I wish we had him on live today so that I could ask him
about that's surprising what is that he should be chastised for that it was a
good South Beach session though the thing that I was saying about JJ Reddick
and Doris Burke is that they were doing a lot of celebrating about his strength, Jason Tatum's strength and what he was
doing in the paint in that particular game. Juju's criticism is a fair one in
that Jalen Brown was playing really downhill last night. What he was doing in
transition was super aggressive and I do believe that Jason Tatum's, both his frame and his style,
I don't know how to do it, life, language,
like there's something about him
that doesn't give off physical strength.
Like that I'm going to,
I am going to overpower you with aggression.
Is he a finesse player?
Because I don't believe that you can play at the
rim the way he does unless you're uncommonly strong because when he plays
at the rim he can get that fadeaway jumper always.
In fact, the way he's going to age is in his 30s, late 30s.
He's going to be taking that shot even
more because it hurts to go to the rim. But I think he's pretty aggressive.
We just want him to be more aggressive.
Jason Taylor is the equivalence of a really, really handsome man, Superman, that lives in Topeka, Kansas,
and no one ever tells him he's fine.
No, brother, you don't realize, because you
are doubting yourself, you can back down every single person
that plays against you.
You can take him off the drip with every single person, bro.
But he doesn't know he's Superman.
He just thinks he's Clark.
For the record, Superman lived in Smallville, Kansas.
That's fine by me. I'm fine. I would pay you $5 for that one.
I don't think you deserve that. I think Topeka was fine. Put it on the poll. Are all the
cities in Kansas exactly the same?
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Get ready to go all out for less! Don Lebatard. You got to know I'm a big Colombo guy. Salute to that boy.
Okay, I don't think that's proof. I don't think that's proof. I think that's a lie. I don't think that's evidence.
Salute to that boy. It suggests camouflage. It suggests that Juju has no idea what we're talking about.
And now he's just Googling it.
Stugats. has no idea what we're talking about and now he's just googling it. StuGuts.
I'm not googling it.
My grandmama stayed in the country.
I watched the Braves, I watched Columbo, I watched Matt Lung, I watched Andy Griffin.
Absolutely you sir, but you go to the pill in the box.
Damn.
Damn take your ass to the pill in the box.
You tell him Juju.
How you a liar.
You tell him Juju.
Back to you Stu.
This is the Don LeBath show with the Stooguards.
Jessica, do you have an important Quentin Tarantino update for us and the audience?
This is according to producer Ethan.
Tarantino is scrapping the movie critic,
which was supposed to be his final film
and is now considering what his final film will be.
Ah, so it is gonna be his final film,
but it won't be the original concept
that we thought it was gonna be.
He had done work on that already.
He scrapped the idea because it wasn't working there.
I wonder how much pressure he feels on having put, because he's got such a great legacy.
He's one of the greatest of all time.
What kind of pressure he is putting on himself.
You are making a face in me that Tarantino's
not one of the greatest directors of all time, Billy.
Just don't say that you're doing one last movie
and then you don't have that pressure.
Just put out a bunch of clunkers, cash in,
and live a good life, and then when you have a good one,
do a good one, that's all.
Isn't it better to not know when it's your last? Exactly right, yeah. put out a bunch of clunkers, cash in, and live a good life, and then when you have a good one, do a good one, that's all.
Isn't it better to not know when it's your last?
Exactly right.
Like, just stop, hey, you're making another movie?
Like, nah, I think I'm done.
I don't know, I always think about,
like, I used to have this favorite coffee shop,
and then I moved away, and I haven't been back since.
I always think about the last time I went,
I didn't know it was my last time, and I enjoyed it,
and I'm glad I didn't have to have a sad goodbye.
But even if you did know, right, you would have known internally, you would have savored
all that stuff, you didn't have to say, guys, my last visit to this coffee shop, I want
you all to be able to savor it with me and then next week you come back and you're like,
I lied, I need another coffee.
Because at the end of the day no one gives a shit.
And what if he dies?
What?
Billy, do you think?
You set off the fire alarm. That was a hot take. Oh my god. No one gives a shit. And what if he dies? Copy, who cares? What? Police cease operation. Billy, do you think?
You set off the fire alarm.
That was a hot take.
Oh my God.
If I'm getting fined for Mike Holmgren,
you should get fined for that.
Am I getting fined for Mike Holmgren?
You, Mike Holmgren is 75 and not, he's not dead.
You asked the question, he's 75 years old.
Born in 1948, which, whoa.
Even in the 90s.
That's the other day. A long time ago, yeah. For Bill Simmons which even in the 90s. That's the other day. Long time ago yeah.
For Bill Simmons it was the other day. By the way we found three of the teams
that you were talking about earlier. Two of them were they're all Celtics teams
by the way. Two of them were in the before four times and one of them are
the 2008 Celtics who of course played the maximum number of games in that so
they had more chances than any other team I would say.
But having said all that Dan,
again even that team had an intimidation about it.
A lot of that was their attitude beyond their play.
It's a team of shit talkers.
But there was an intimidation that I don't know people
feel intimidated about the Celtics.
I don't know whether it matters
whether they feel intimidated or not the results are the results you guys you
guys really brushed off what I said in half of their games this season they've
won by more than 20 they've had a lead of more than 20 points in half their
games like okay but I don't know what you're doing there when the results are
intimidating like if I put if I told you Michael Jordan was doing that,
you would tell me that that was intimidating.
Because I'm intimidated by Michael Jordan.
Exactly, I think the issue is we don't know
who to point to their success, right?
It's like, is it Missoula?
No, kind of not really.
Is it Brad Stevens?
Is it Jason Tatum?
Is it Jalen Brown?
Who is it that's giving the success here?
We don't know.
Derek White.
We've got Juju here.
He is eager to take a victory lap.
So let's begin what is this new segment we have
and try to ignore that the fire alarm is going off
and that we are in a situation that we're on live
and this is a little bit of juggling
that's being done here.
I want to get to though this Wheel of Fortune clip
that everyone is talking about,
but before I do that, because I think of
Wilbon and Kornheiser when I think of Victory Laps,
they love to come on television the next day
and tell you all the things they got right
and they tell you very little about all the things
that they got wrong. They love to do the I told you so so let's
get that sound of just in general Michael Wilbon at this point in his life
he's screaming at clouds he's yelling at young people and what he doesn't want
is more information that tells him anything about what is happening in
sports that would change his mind Michael Wilbon at this point knows what is more information that tells him anything about what's is happening in sports
that would change his mind michael williams on at this point knows what he
knows and does not need anymore information he knows
that he knows sports and no more analysis is needed play the clip please
so let me ask something the velo the exit velo
does it mean he's a better hitter than tony gwen
who might have dribbled a few through the infield in his day and hit about you know 330
career and flirted with 400 once meaning a better hitter than him and so so what
so what he's a 260 hitter so why do I give a damn about the exit V lo I don't
and so I guess people need this Tony to become interested and more
fascinated and they go, Oh, wow. Not only do I not go, Oh, wow. It has started the
ruination of watching sports for me. Numbers like this repeatedly and put up
on the screen day in day out. It is ruined it because people aren't
concentrating on the fact that he is 260 instead of 330. They're concentrating
on exit VLO.
That's just me.
You're older than me and more crotchety than me,
at least you used to be.
He stole this take from Greg Cody the day before.
Look, Wilbon has been fighting these allegations
for a while, that he gets a lot of his stuff
from this show right here.
That doesn't help his cause.
Also, a lot of layers he has on.
He's in LA.
Why does he need so many layers?
How many layers?
How many layers?
It's the air conditioning thing probably.
I can relate to that.
He does not listen to this show.
He does not steal information from other shows.
Greg literally said it the day before.
The day before he had this exact same conversation.
And then this happens and it goes viral.
I mean, it can't be a coincidence.
It can't. So I don't think that juju's mic is working as he takes the victory lap telling everyone I told you so I think
It's just us hearing him say I told you so but not the audience hearing I told you so I told everybody
So I was trying to respect everyone's voice. It needs to be heard, but I told everybody
I told him mean that drew holiday would not be a corpse for these cell chicks, now look at him.
He's still an expert somehow,
even with that weak ass jump shot.
He's still our expert.
Hold on, wait, wait, wait,
that's just not the way a victory lap works.
No, no, wait, I mean, no, he's got it right,
you've got it wrong.
When he gets the victory lap, he gets to speak, not you.
Yes!
He even steals my takes nowadays.
Let's just put that on record as well.
If you're a basketball expert, be stealing my takes
and coming on your show and saying them like it is.
But not to here nor there, I told you so.
All right, thank you.
That doesn't feel like a victory lap.
It didn't feel like what I imagined in my head.
That was a different segment, that was I told you so.
Very different.
I think we have music for that one, don't we Billy?
What are you doing?
Oh, you're mad at someone else for what are you doing? Oh, that's interesting. We definitely have music
Oh, it sucks when Billy gets Billy doesn't it? Oh that hurts. Yeah, what are you doing?
He says when Billy does the Billy it is time now for a weekly update on our favorite team, Rex Lobos. Hot, hot! Yeah, I see, Jessica, you did that.
Here is the head coach and president of football operations,
Greg Cody.
Lobos!
Woo!
Lobos!
Jessica, Billy, both of you to the penalty box.
What?
For billying, yes, for billying,
both of you just get out of here
because I don't need more Billy around here.
I need slightly less Billy around here.
That anarchy is not very helpful.
And I'm gonna further punish them
by while they're gone playing that Wheel of Fortune clip
that I know both of them wanna talk about.
In the history of game shows,
and I know that we're talking about 80s, 90s,
a million years ago, but the most famous
tawdry moment in the history of I believe game shows
was on the newlywed game a long time ago
when I think it was Bob Eubanks asked the contestants,
the strangest place you've ever made whoopee,
and the woman said, in the butt, Bob,
because, and this was like 70's television i'm guessing uh... so
it they were looking for closet or or car or or on a you know outdoors or
whatever the answer was but her response was famously in the but bob
does this wheel of fortune clip rival that clip. Tavaris, right in the butt.
What?
No.
Blake.
This is the best.
Yeah, that's it.
It's a four-letter word, the first one.
Roy, let me tell you something, man.
The first thing, this is how I know this might be something wrong with me, because the first
thing I got upset about was the fact that he said right.
I didn't even hear the rest of it, I'm like, that's a four-letter word, how could it be
right?
Then I realized what he said, I'm like, wait, what?
Because the thing that actually snapped me out was the other lady going what?
Well, that was the bad that that what that note is what made Lucy laugh and her sheer horror is really the accent that this Clip needed let's listen to it again and just the horror right next to him horror right next to him
The the sound that she made was something that made it all the funnier
Tavares right in the butt. What?
Genuine shock.
Genuine game show shock.
I mean, hold on a second.
To Tavaris' point really quick, you could go R-I-T-E, right.
You know what I mean?
Like Rite Aid or like whatever.
Like how do you know?
That you think that perhaps that person was guessing
that right was spelled differently
and perhaps it was something in a song
where it was creatively spelled
that it was a hip hop song that he didn't know.
Butt has two T's every time, but Dan, oh, sorry.
Thank you, I know that Butt has two T's.
I'm right about that. Here, it doesn't tease all the time it's a victory lap he gets
so you're right okay but it's he stopped victory lapping he's just sitting next
on now it's I told you because you are the wrongest all of my brothers and
sisters in there they try their their hardest except Roy he's the biggest liar
in Florida and now he's sweating the porcelain and all of that salute to
David Dwork as well but you guys work he does he look at him look at
him now I don't wait in the damn porcelain I don't know what that I'm
writing the I'm right right I'm right right right right right right right
porcelain sweating the porcelain I heard that guys right guys guys no no he's
it's a victory lap he gets to say what he wants. All right, fine. Yes, and Amin was a lot of wrong this year.
So wrong.
Oh my god.
Amin might be the wrongest person in Miami.
You just said I was the wrongest person.
No, you're the second wrongest.
But when Amin's in town, you feel me?
He's pretty wrong.
And did you see his jumper?
Have you seen his jumper?
I have seen his jumper.
His t-shirt's made in his honor for that jumper.
Sorry for taking up you guys' time.
Hoodies as well.
You're not.
It's the victory lap,
you're just not doing it as a victory lap.
We have to work on this segment.
Insecure victory lap right here, sir.
If it was right, even spelled with four letters,
there would be an I, and there was no I.
They already had the I.
It couldn't be right at all, ever, even misspelled.
What a Y, R-Y-T-E.
It was just such a bad guess, and why would that be the answer ever?
By the way, also underrated sound in there.
Pat Sajak's, no.
Disappointed, though.
Can we watch it again?
Can we watch it again?
I need to see this like six more times.
Go ahead.
["Sexy Girl's Dance"]
Tavaris, right in the butt. What?
No.
Blake.
This is the best.
Yeah, that's it.
No.
Where did the stray shock come from?
Was it one of the contestants?
Yes, it was the lady on the right.
Okay, so the lady on the far right. You have to watch it a couple times and focus on a different
character each time it is okay let's let's let's look at it again and you're
telling me the lady on the far right is the one that is just genuinely shocked
she is holding her buzzer all three of these people are buzzer ready and then
shock envelopes the studio
are ready and then shock envelopes the studio right in the back
okay
on jessica's advice watch the guy because he said that and that you know
the whole kind of face and then he almost hides his buzzer at the end
was read it back
right in the back
he is why
is the best
the face
you say am I mean, that this is something that obviously is wrong.
It's the wrong answer, but isn't it the best answer he could have possibly given?
He's not going to win the game, but doesn't he win pop culture by having a moment so much larger than if he had won the game dan
What kind of person would want to win pop culture by failing miserably a very publicly and in a very viral
Decontextualized manner what sort of what kind of personality would seek that or even cherish it or even direct you?
To count the dings March where you could buy a hoodie with a silhouette
of a awkward jump shot.
What, what, what, wow, why, what, what?
That isn't even the greatest moment of failure you've had.
The most viewed clip in the history
of American Ninja Warrior is Amin El-Hassan's
and I will say, I'd like to get that guy on the show.
I'd like to see if Sullivan can... some of the people involved with this actually
dual i'd talk to them not going to let me do this here
to say jack a couple of days ago before this happened because he's retiring and
he's going to have like some last words and I want to get him on the show
To talk about retiring as perhaps the greatest game show host of all time. They've had so many moments like this
Not quite this porny, but they've had a lot of awkward moments over the years memorable moments and I'd ask you Lucy if
You had a viral moment
on a game show that was a wrong answer but was funny,
do you feel like you would feel like you won?
No, I wouldn't wanna be referred
to the right in the butt person for the rest of my life.
Like I would hate to be like, hey I'm Lucy,
and they'd be like, oh my god, you're right in the body
Aren't you the foot girl? Yeah, that would be terrible if people did that to us
Can you tell me you none of you guys amine would like that a mean doesn't I would do it in two seconds like I don't Care like right in the bug guy. Yeah, that's me, baby. I'll put it in a shirt, you know put a merch store up
Let's go you will win some money that way. Of course. It's all about what you can do, Dan.
I'm going to win $11 at Wheel of Fortune.
No, but if I pivot now and I'm right in the butt guy,
the world is mine now.
Guess what, Dan?
Someone won that show.
We don't know.
We don't care.
Don't care.
We care about right in the butt guy.
By the way, his voice.
Let's play it one more time, because his voice is something
that's underrated here. Just listen to his voice. Close your eyes and listen, his voice, let's play it one more time because his voice is something that's underrated here.
Just listen to his voice.
Close your eyes and listen to his voice.
["Sail Jack's Theme Song"]
Tavaris, right in the butt.
What?
Banana, tailpipe?
Made it a question.
Blake.
This is the best.
Yeah, that's it.
Right in the butt. You still talk to Sajak, eh?
I do, yes.
And I regretted, as soon as I headed down that path, this is one of the issues with
doing this live.
It's not just the fire alarm still going off while we're doing this live.
It's that I got caught up in the air and then I fell on my face because I didn't want to actually say that.
Dan's canceled.
Now I'm stuck.
I'm stuck with that situation.
Both sides, Dan.
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